Sex Wisdom with Jesús Ángel García – Podcast #191 – 03/10/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Ok, so here’s the deal. As you know, I’m all about bringing you the very best interviews I can for all my podcast series. Not to long ago I hooked up with this exceptional author who I think is absolutely perfect for The Erotic Mind series. But midway through our conversation I realize that we are discussing stuff that would fit equally well in my SEX WISDOM series.

So what am I to do but officially declare our very first twofer! Allow me to introduce you to Jesús Ángel García, the remarkable author of the multimedia novel badbadbad. His novel can be read on many levels. Those looking for a very engagingly and smutty erotic story will not be disappointed. However, his work is also infused with profound insights into the philosophy and psychology of why we are sexual. Getting to the marrow of this man and his complex novel is a sheer delight. You won’t want to miss this, my friends.

Jesús and I discuss:

  • How the man with such the heavenly name, Jesús Ángel, come to write such a devilishly profane book.
  • Why he writes under a pen name and the derivation of that name.
  • Is it a memoir or is it fiction?
  • The multimedia nature of his novel.
  • The intent and origins of badbadbad.
  • The prominence of religious imagery.
  • How psychological complexity is reflected in sexual expression.
  • His novel as a morality tale.

Adding to the sexual tension of today’s show, Jesús reads from badbadbad.

Jesús invites you to visit him on his site HERE! You’ll discover that his is the first novel to come with its own YouTube playlist.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Sex Wisdom with Mark Zedler – Podcast #187 – 02/24/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have some absolutely fascinating SEX WISDOM in store for you today. This is just the second installment in this new podcast series. We’re all about connecting with some of the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality. We’re talking with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.

My guest today is Mark Zedler. He’s a sex historian, don’t cha know. And he’s here to help us demythologize some of our culture’s sexual taboos. He believes, as do I, that once we have a historical perspective, we are less likely to be manipulated by those who want to keep us from the truth. This is very interesting stuff, sex fans! Please stay tuned.

Mark and I discuss:

  • Being a sex historian.
  • Exploring the origins of sexual taboos and myths.
  • The history of the Bacchanalia — its zenith, persecution and downfall.
  • What this story tells us about what happens.
  • The resurgence of sacred sexuality.
  • The Sin of Sodom.
  • Comparing ancient Hebrew and early Christian interpretations.

Mark invites you to visit him on his site HERE! Explore themes like alternative lifestyles, erotica, adult humor, taboos and the history of sex.

Mark put together a little slide show for you

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

 

Some assembly required!

Hi Dr Dick,
Happy (belated) New Year! I have two questions for you:
1. I am taking a long time to cum when I’m given a blowjob or hand job and eventually I need to stroke off on my own (for a pretty long time as well). However, I cum pretty quickly when I masturbate while watching porn. Am I masturbating to porn too much? I have also masturbated to porn for years before I started having sex recently (I’m not sure whether this could be a reason as well).
2. You mention that we shouldn’t use soup while cleaning our anus. Why is that so? I just read about douching but I have been cleaning my anus with warm water, soap, and finger. Is that ok?
Thanks in advance!  — Ken

Can’t hardly say if you are masturbating to porn too much.  I mean, what is too much anyway?  And since you don’t go into detail; I’ll let that issue rest.

What I can tell you is that partnered sex, regardless of the activity (blowjobs, hand jobs or full-on fucking) is a whole lot different than solo sex (with or without porn).  I can also assure you that your body has become sensitized to your particular grip and stroke over the years of you pullin your own pud.  Another person’s grip and stroke (pussy or asshole) will rarely satisfy in the same efficient manner.  This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but you do have to keep that in mind.  And perhaps your sexual response will change with time as you enjoy more and varied partnered sex.

In terms of you taking too long (whatever that means) to cum when you are with a partner, maybe you need to quit trying so hard to get off and lay back and enjoy the sensations you’re getting from your partner.  And here’s a tip; use your biggest sex organ, your brain, to replay some of that hot porn action in your head while you are gettin head.  That will surely hasten things along, if ya know what I mean.

In terms of your next question about keeping your hole clean; you may have misunderstood previous comments I’ve made about anal douching.  Soap and water is the preferred method of keeping the outside of your ass clean.  And while you’re scrubbin’ your crack, you could use your fingertip to clean out your rosebud.  But don’t force soap beyond your sphincter.  You have delicate membranes in your rectum that will be irritated by the soap, even a mild soap.

If you need to douche, I suggest a solution of a few drops of lemon juice in warm water.   Some men prefer the convenience of a shower bidet.

Name: Mike P
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself.  Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage.  She always needs porn.  I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. I have to pay her rent — pay for her food, pay everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?

Time to wake up, fella!  Your “girlfriend” — and I use that term very loosely — is decidedly not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any man’s girlfriend.  I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coochie-lovin’ lesbiterian.  All that remains for her to do, to make the picture perfectly clear…even for you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a flannel shirt.  Holy cow, Mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?

Listen, bub, you’re excess baggage.  Your “friend” keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.

Should you leave this woman; you ask.  Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one.  She’s long gone and done left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually.  All you need to do is find the door, say good-bye to this sorry situation and make a hasty exit.

Name: Michelle
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: Canada
Tips to help when the man you’re sleeping with has a small penis.

Tips?  No pun intended, I hope.

Ok, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it.  Tip #2, find a guy with more pork.  Tip #3, get a dildo.  Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got.  Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.

Ok, seriously I do have a couple of suggestions beyond the flippant ones I just mentioned.  For example, Tip #3 still stands.  Find yourself a dildo, one that your partner can wield when he’s around.  If you introduce the concept in a positive way, you may find that Mr. Mini-meat will go for it big time.  You see, most guys with small endowments already know they may have a problem satisfying some women (or men for that matter).  But most guys, regardless of cock size, are always interested in pleasuring their partner, even when it’s not with their own magic wand.

May I suggest that you check out the swell array of dildos available at Dr Dick’s Stockroom?  You’ll find a link to this treasure trove on the top of this page.  Hey, you may even want to shop online together.  You may be surprised at the one your guy picks out for you.

While you lovebirds are checking out the dildo section at Dr Dick’s Stockroom, take a moment to search for a Cyberskin Penis Extension.

You’re gonna love this.  The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in pecker extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (1.5″ or 3″) extension is much firmer.  It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside.  Mmmm, hard and rigid!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of these extensions are designed to create a realistic effect as well.  They look realistic and they feel realistic.

There’s a trick to putting on one of these puppies, don’t ‘cha know.  You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the extension. Then place it against the head of your guy’s stiff dick.  Roll the bugger down snugly around his unit, sealing his peanut inside the sleeve.  A partial seal will form, helping keep the extension on during the fuck-fest.

Wearing this extension will add both length and thickness to his precious willie. It will of course reduce the sensation in his cock, but that’s not always bad thing.  Guys with a short fuse may find the decrease in stimulation an aid to controlling his ejaculation, while he’s giving more and longer pleasure to his partner.  And a lot of guys love the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the rubbery sleeve.  Mmmm, sealed inside rubbery sleeve!

Name: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: 42
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick observations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no Dr Dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his johnson.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck ya’ll

SEX WISDOM with Shai Rotem – Podcast #179 – 01/13/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a fantastic show in store for you.  I am delighted to inform you that I am launching yet another podcast series today.  I call it the SEX WISDOM podcast series.

Besides the wildly popular Sex EDGE-U-cation series and The Erotic Mind series that have been running for the past year and longer, I thought it would be grand to chat with some of the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality.   So in the course of this new series we will be chatting with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.  I can assure you that these conversations will be well worth the time you spend with us.

I have chosen a remarkable man as my first guest.  His name is Shai Rotem.  He is a certified surrogate partner; or a sex surrogate, if you prefer.  And he’s here to tell us about the critical work he is doing with his clients.  This is fascinating stuff, sex fans!  Please stay tuned.

Shai and I discuss:

  • A working definition of the term Surrogate Partner.
  • How a sex surrogate differs from a sex worker.
  • Being part of a scripted therapeutic intervention.
  • Surrogate partner therapy and the law.
  • Who can benefit from surrogate partner therapy.
  • The impact of a repressive religious upbringing on sexual wellbeing.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Sensate Focus Techniques.

Shai invites you to learn more about surrogate partner therapy by visiting the International Professional Surrogates Association’s website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Lady HotchKiss – Podcast #146 – 08/19/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Today we travel to Atlanta, GA for some mighty fine Sex EDGE-U-cation.  We chat with an amazing woman.  She’s pretty as all get out, but don’t let her sweet looks fool you.  She is the consummate Fem Domme, I mean right down to the marrow in her bones.  Crouching GlassesBut if that’s not enough to turn your crank, she has a multitude of facets to her delightful personality, not least among them being a domestic goddess.  And she actually made Dr Dick blush.  Not everyone can do that!

I have the distinct pleasure of welcoming the renowned and nationally respected dominatrix, Lady HotchKiss.

In this series of podcasts we are looking at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles. We investigate topics both familiar and exotic.  And we chat with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

Lady HotchKiss and I will be exploring all sorts of interesting topics including her idyllic family life with her two slaves.  This is edgy and thought provoking stuff, sex fans.  You don’t want to miss a moment of this.

Lady HotchKiss and I discuss:

  • Her 24/7 life as a Dom.
  • The psychological dimensions of having two slaves.
  • The prevalence of the Fem/Dom archetype in fashion and the popular culture.
  • Being a domestic goddess.
  • M/s protocols.
  • The symbiotic relationship between Master and slave.
  • Bottom/sub/slave; not just a question of semantics.

Be sure to visit Lady HotchKiss at her websites HERE and HERE!

See a slideshow of the fabulous Lady HotchKiss at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Debra Christina Darling – Podcast #135 – 07/01/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Debra & Karen

And now for something completely different.  Ya’ll know how through this Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series, we’ve been looking at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles, right?  And how we’ve been chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world, right?

Well then, today we take another walk on the wild side.  I bring you Part 1 of my conversation with a true original.  My guest is the one and only Debra Christina Darling

Debra self-identifies as a straight drag queen.  That’s right you heard me; he’s a straight man who crossdresses, and has done so for most of his life.  But what’s so special about that?  Lots of straight men crossdress.  This is true!  But few are as “out there” and as willing to challenge some of the popular notions of sex and gender held by both those inside, and outside, the crossdressing community.  I can assure you sex fans, Debra has balls and the attitude to match; thus the drag queen designation, don’t cha know.

You won’t want to miss a minute of this exceptional discussion!

Debra and I discuss:

  • Crossdressing vs. transvestism.
  • Her own personal journey and her activism.
  • Famous crossdressers in history.
  • Reasons why people crossdress, and the challenges.
  • The sexual charge of gender specific clothing.
  • Common myths of crossdressing.
  • Advice for parents of crossdressing kids.
  • Male crossdressing / female crossdressing, the double standard.

Debra shares with us several crossdressing resources and invites you to check them out.  The Esprit Conference, Karen Williams’ site, The Emerald City and The Ingersoll Center.

See a slideshow of current and historical crossdressers.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by:  Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #100 — 02/16/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

HOLY COW, it’s another milestone!  Last week Wednesday’s show marked my second anniversary of podcasting.  Today’s show is my 100th Podcast!  Isn’t that fuckin amazing?

100th

Those of you who are paying attention know that I’ve added a second podcast per week, on Wednesdays. And for those of you who haven’t been paying attention; listen up!  I needed to add another podcast per week because I’m doing a new series of interviews called Sex EDGE-U-cation.

This series will take a look at the fascinating world of fetish sex and kink. We’ll touch on topics both familiar and exotic.  I guarantee that our investigation will be interesting, stimulating and very informative.  And I can say that with such confidence because I will be chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

This new series, which premiered last Wednesday, February 11th, will continue to appear on Wednesdays.  This, my original weekly podcast, will continue on Mondays.  How sweet is that?

Today we take a break from The Erotic Mind interviews and return to our traditional question and answer format.  I have a hot load of oh so stimulating questions.

  • Todd, the budding kinkster, returns with more questions.
  • JOE D want to get it up the ass, but he don’t know how.
  • Zoey’s husband thinks she’s just OK in the sack.  WHAT?
  • Mike is takin the submissive thing a bit far, in my estimation.
  • Tom, the American, and Matt, the Brit, both have the same problem.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe.  I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: ROPEX.

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #93 — 01/05/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I’M BACK! Did ya’ll have a brilliant holiday season? I sure hope so.

I enjoyed my brief respite from podcasting, but I realize I can’t stay away long. Besides missing you when we’re not together, my in-box gets all clogged up with questions and comments that cry out for my attention.

So let’s start off the New Year with our usual question and answer format. Because I have a hot load of very stimulating questions.

  • Todd is a budding kinkster.
  • Seattle asks about the “etiquette” involved in public sex.
  • Nanine has saggy tits and is afraid no one will love her.
  • ME says his partner can’t get off no matter how hard he tries!
  • Jimmy is confused. Is he a top or bottom; dom or sub?

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: ROPEX.

h_ropex_male.jpg

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #82 — 09/29/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a really delectable show for you today. We have a big load of stimulating questions from the sexually worrisome. And I respond with an equal number of stunning, appealing and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

And just to mix things up a bit, I’m gonna throw in a nice Product Review.  You’re gonna love this one!

  • Lilla’s BF suddenly shut the backdoor.  What’s up with that?
  • E is all worried about the consistency of his spunk.
  • Dustin is gay.  His best gal-pal is straight.  They want to make a baby.
  • NHB is chompin’ at the bit.  He and his partner are discussing opening the corral.

Finally a Product Review — The Vergenza Mk. I

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S STOCKROOM.

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #81 — 09/22/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at yet another change in the seasons.  Depending on where you live, the autumnal or vernal equinox is upon us.  And I simply can’t believe that time is passing so quickly.  It seems only weeks ago we were celebrating the solstice.

Well, despite the relentless march of time some things never change.  One can always count on there being a flock of sexually worrisome folks looking for advice.  And ya know what?  They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you.  Today’s show is all Q&A.

So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

  • Stephen is trapped in a sexless place.
  • Skye can’t get off with her BF unless he fucks her bum.
  • Josh wants it bad, but what he don’t know about women is a lot!
  • Mr. Limpy is…well just that — limp.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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Take A Deep Breath

Name: Jake
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Can’t manage to approach a person for sex?  Are you just really shy, or are you a total geek?  Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid.  And here’s a tip:  perspective partners can smell desperation, like the kind you speak of, a mile away.  And they will avoid you like the plague.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world.  teen_sexuality.jpgHere’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation.  When it comes to asking for sex; the direct approach works best.  Just so long as you’re not a dick about it.  If you haven’t already discovered this, baggin a bird will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke.  And coming on to a mate demands a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are a crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt.  If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback.  If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck.  If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever”, you can always improve your image and hone your unique style.  Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free.  Dress to impress.  Stay clear of fancy or fussy, but do make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself.  Make yourself interesting; have a point of view, but share it sparingly.  Develop a sense of humor about yourself.  If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

boys_kissing05.jpgThe internet is a great place to test the waters.  Dating and hook-up sites abound.  Put up a profile…with a photo or two.  Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites.  Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away.  And like I said above, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women, or men, than a desperate fuck.  Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men.  So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure.  If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world.  He’s probably not into your type.  Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re not immediately successful, move on.  Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing.  Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a woman then for a dude. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and willing to practice at least one, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both.  Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless of your partner’s gender.

condoms001.jpg

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude.  Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look.  Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another.  Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both birds and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Name: Nita
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: South Africa
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a cancer.  I’m recovering pretty well, and the prognosis for my future is also pretty good.  But I am noticing two problems. The surgery left a really big scar.  It’s still not fully healed yet, but I can tell it’s always going to be ugly.  And my belly is really misshapen now. I felt pretty okay about my body before hand, but this scar really makes me look really unattractive.  Also, my sex drive has completely gone away. I used to be a pretty sexual person, but now nothing excites me. Would you say this is normal?

How long ago was your surgery, I wonder?  It’s got to be pretty recent, if you say the incision is still healing.

Darlin’, may I suggest that you’ve been through quite a trauma — a cancer diagnosis, recent surgery and all.  This would throw anyone for a loop.  I’d be willing to guess you’ve not had the proper time to process all of this.  It comes as no surprise to me that your libido has gone south.  I wouldn’t expect otherwise.

If you’re still healing on the outside, you know for sure your insides have a much longer way to go.  You’re probably still feeling some discomfort, right?  That’s enough to put the kibosh on sexual interest right there.  You’re body is consumed with the job of healing itself.  It probably hasn’t any energy to spare for sex.  And why have a libido if ya can’t be sexual, right?   So you see, your body is actually protecting itself and concentrating on the task at hand.sensual_massage110.JPG

Maybe at this point in your recovery a little pampering would be better for you than a pursuit of sexual pleasure.  Long luxurious baths will help soothe the tension, as well as giving your easy access to your fine pussy.  Even folks with no discernable libido find touching themselves enjoyable. And just to keep your head in the game, even though you’re sitting on the sidelines, you could read some erotica or watch some sexy smut.

Some modest exercise like walking or swimming can perk up the libido too.  Treat yourself to an erotic massage.  Let a pro get his or her hands on you and make you glow.  This may also help bring back some of the sensitivity to areas effected by the surgery.  One things for sure, doing something is better than doing nothing but sitting there wondering what’s up.

An invasive and disfiguring surgery will always have a profound effect on one’s body image, which goes without saying.  Feeling unattractive because of a scar? No doubt about it, it’s a bummer.  But here you are writing to me about it, instead of napping six-feet under.  So I guess the scar is not the worst thing that could have happened, right?  As you probably know, I’m hearing from a number of my country’s war vets returning home with shattered bodies and lives.  My advice to them is what I offer you now.  Move through the scar’s impact…with a therapist if need be.  And find within yourself the other things that make you beautiful, attractive, alluring and desirable. Who knows, you might luck out and find a scar fetishist out there who will worship you for what you find loathsome.

mastectomy_scars.jpgEmbracing and then moving past your scaring will open you to find the myriad pleasures your body can still provide you and others.  So while your body works on healing itself, your mind can do likewise.  No need to have two scars, on one your belly and another one on your psyche.  In the end you may find that flaunting your scar, like some women do with their mastectomy scars, will liberate you from feeling unattractive.  After all, that scare and misshapen abdomen are your red badges of courage, honey.  Not only do they make you distinct, but also they testify to you being a survivor.

Name: David
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: New York, NY
This is a rather disgusting question. I am a gay male who prefers to be the bottom. The trouble is that even if I perform an enema right before sex, I still seem to get some excrement onto my partner’s penis during sex. It just seems that the feeling of the motion back and forth inside of me causes a sensation that makes something come out. The odor is, at times, unpleasant and I, of course, am mortified. I wonder if this is a common problem and if there is anything else I can do to PREVENT this from happening?? Could it perhaps be my diet? Do I need to drink more water?

YIKES!  You sound like a real attractive guy, David.  Just kidding!

If you are douching properly before the butt fucking there shouldn’t be much seepage if any.  Maybe you’re not taking care of business correctly.  Or maybe you need to douche twice.  Or maybe you’re being fucked too hard.  I know that a vigorous fucking will introduce more air into the bottom’s rectum expanding it and making for that “OMG, I gotta take a dump” feeling.butt_fuck5.jpg

I understand you being mortified; a smelly dirty fuck is no fun for anyone.  That being said, you have to realize your bowels are working properly, so it’s not their fault.  Just remember, there will inevitably be some unpleasant side effects when rootin’ around in someone’s hole, regardless how fastidious the bottom is about his hygiene.

I’m not sure I see the connection between diet and hydration and messy fucking, but hell, I’d try just about anything to keep from embarrassing myself when my toes are pointed to jesus!

Name: Ken
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: Seattle
I recently went to get a massage with a “happy ending” As soon as the girl started to fondle me I came and I did not even have an erection yet.  I never have this problem with my wife or past girlfriends. Why did this happen? It sure cost a lot of money for about five minutes with this “lady”. Thanks

Well, let’s see…either this “masseuse” (and I use that term very loosely) was amazingly talented, or you were just real nervous about doing this naughty thing with someone other than your wife.

Hmmm, I bet it was the later.

Here’s a tip, always get the massage first…before the happy ending.  If the first thing that happens is the happy ending, then you got gypped, darlin’!

Name: Marion
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I’m 34 and single.  After 15 years of unsuccessful dating, searching for the right guy to marry and raise a family with, I decided to go it alone.  I’m 2 months pregnant through artificial insemination.  You’ll love this; the donor is my best gay pal.  I am absolutely delighted and cherish the thought of finally being a mother.  While a lot of the guys I’ve been dating aren’t father material, they are great sex and I don’t want to continue to enjoy their company.  I gather that it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy.  But is there anything I should avoid?  Are there specific sexual positions that better suit a mommy-to-be like me?

Hey, congratulations on the bun in the oven, darlin’.  And how true about some men being great in the sack, but not desirable husband and/or father material.  I know several gay men who have helped out a long-suffering straight and lesbian friends with the whole breeding thing.  Us “mos” are so selfless in that regard.  😉

It’s difficult to find accurate and unambiguous information about sex preg_sex01jpg.jpgduring pregnancy that doesn’t have a decidedly sex-negative bias to it.  For the most part, our culture promotes the message that sex is primarily for procreation.  Why then would any responsible mother to be continue to have sex if she’s already knocked up?  You can see where a lot of the misconceptions, misinformation and scare tactics come from, huh?

So let’s see if we can shed some light on this for ya.  As a pregnancy advances, the fertilized egg grows into an embryo and then into a fetus. The fetus is encased in and protected by the amniotic cavity.  This provides the fetus nourishment and protects it from infections.  A thick layer of mucus seals the cervix further isolating the fetus in the mother’s uterus.

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, as do most women, then there is no reason to alter your sex life during your pregnancy.  Since this is your first, you’ll not know this, but a woman who has a history of premature birth may be advised by her physician to abstain from partnered sex during the last three months of pregnancy.  In the same way, a woman with a history of miscarriage will probably be advised to avoid partnered sex in the first trimester.  Only women with high-risk pregnancies might be advised to avoid sex for the full term of the pregnancy.

Nature provides all protection the fetus needs in its mother’s uterus. So you don’t need to worry about semen or vaginal fluids coming into contact with the baby.  And the mucus seal on your cervix does not allow a penis to come in direct contact with the fetus either.  Which dispels several misconceptions right there, don’t cha know.

In terms of pregnancy related sex, I suspect that your libido will probably play a more determining role in your availability for sex than you capacity to have sex.  Your libido will no doubt fluctuate during your pregnancy, which may have a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations.  Increased blood circulation in your pelvic region will heighten sensations, but you may find your body feels too heavy to fully enjoy sex.

Most men will love your bigger tits and fuller hips, but sometimes an overriding concern to avoid any exertion on the uterus or in the vagina makes partnered sex too cumbersome.

Sex during pregnancy, like sex after menopause, is free of worry about contraception, which makes sex more enjoyable for some.  While others are too busy anticipating the new addition to be much interested in sex at all.

In terms of sexual positions, you’re gonna be the best judge of that.  No preg_sex08.jpgposition is automatically ruled out, but as your pregnancy progresses you’ll find some positions, like the missionary position, will be uncomfortable. One of the best positions might be the woman on top position. Sometimes known as the Cowgirl position.  This position takes all of the pressure off of the woman’s abdomen, and also allows her to control the speed and the depth of thrusting.

And if you are a fan of anal sex; that will continue to be a terrific option throughout your pregnancy, particularly doggie style.  Some pregnant women claim that butt fucking actually helps soothe their pregnancy induced hemorrhoids.  In your final weeks mutual masturbation may be the easiest option as well as the most satisfying sexual outlet.

Good Luck ya’ll

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #71 — 07/14/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a great show for you today. It’s a total Q&A day, so buckle your seat belts, my friends; it’s gonna be a wild ride.

  • John gets the squirts when he swallows the spunk.
  • Karen is considering couple’s counseling.
  • Ron is deathly afraid that trying to blow himself makes him queer.
  • Steve is afraid his piss drinkin’ is gonna get him in trouble.
  • ??? isn’t gettin’ laid because of his little wiener…or so he thinks.
  • JC wonders if he can live in a sexless relationship.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉

Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on D rDick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom

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Clean Up On Aisle 6!

Name: Leonel
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location: DC
How much wear and tear does anal sex cause to the rectum? Are there long-term hazards other than the chance of infection from poor hygiene?

As we all know by now, ass play is not just for the gays any more. And while there have been strong taboos surrounding anal sex in the past, mainly because ass fuckin was associated with homosexuality, these taboos are finally and rapidly breaking down. And not a moment too soon!

It is important to remember that while some people find the idea of cornholein’pegging006.jpg repugnant, others find it stimulating, exciting, and a normal part of their sexual intimacy. And since all of us have assholes and each one comes equipped with a load of pleasure-giving nerve endings, people of both genders and all sexual persuasions are discovering the joys of anal play. Be it a finger, a dildo, pegging, a butt plug or a good old-fashioned dick-in-the-ass fucking; ass play is all the rage.

Studies suggest that somewhere between 50 – 60% of gay men have anal sex on a regular basis. A slightly small percent of straight folks are now experimenting with butt play. Commercially produced porn, particularly of the straight variety, is now brimming over with back door action. Curiously enough, only a few years ago, this was a relatively rare fetish. Now it’s like totally mainstream. Funny how things like that change so quickly.

In terms of wear and tear and long-term hazards, I’d say that if you treat your hole with the respect it deserves; you can be sure that it will give you a lifetime of pleasure. But be aware that different sexually charged orifices — asshole, mouth, cunt — have different tolerance levels for what they can endure. We’d all do well to respect these individual limits.

The first thing to say about anal sex, particularly casual butt-fucking, is always use a condom and use lots of water-based lubricant. This will be your front line protection against HIV and other STI’s. Your ass is a very receptive place, but the tissues therein are also pretty delicate. It’s not uncommon to develop cuts and fissures that can become infected if a modicum of care isn’t used during ass play — with yourself or another. That’s why Dr Dick always suggests that you get to know your hole and its limits before your share your be-hind with someone else.

butt-fuck102.jpgA man’s ass has something very unique that a chick’s ass does have. It’s his prostate. We’ve talked a lot about this in the past, but here’s a brief overview. A guy’s prostate is a small walnut-shaped gland a couple inches inside his hole. When massaged by a finger, dildo or a cock it is the source of incredible sensations. Even though women don’t have a prostate, anal stimulation can be just as pleasurable for them. One word of caution though; gals, be sure to keep whatever you’ve had in your ass — fingers, toys, what have you — out of your pussy. To do otherwise, will invite a yeast infection, like candida, don’t ‘cha know.

Because the inside of our ass and rectum doesn’t have the same sort of sensory nerve endings that we have on our skin, we can damage our innards by inserting sharp or rough objects in our ass. So always trim your fingernails before playing with yourself or others.

Never put anything up your ass that could slip in and get caught behind your anal sphincter. Your toys should be long enough, have a flared end, or a handle that you can keep hold of. Of course, never insert anything in your bum that could break.

I always recommend that the novice ass fucker start his or her ass exploration with a finger or two. This cuts down on the expense of buying toys, at least until you discover if you like this kind of play or not. Once you’ve got the hang of digital stimulation and you’ve discovered all the joy spots you can reach, you can move on to the vast array of toys and implements that are especially designed for your butt pleasure. If you’re stumped by what toys to buy, check out my Product Review Page or my Sex Toy Awareness feature for some ideas. Of course your ass play may include a nice stiff cock, but it doesn’t have to.

Name: Michael
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Minneapolis
I’m a 23-year-old bisexual paraplegic. Hey ya have to be available for whatever comes your way when you’re in a chair, right? I got this way in a really stupid alcohol related diving accident three years ago. So ok, I fucked up.
I was just getting my groove on sexually before the accident, nothing serious, fooled around with my cousin Jack and got a severe case of blue balls with this chick, Amber, I used to date. Anyhow, I’m finding it hard to connect with guys or girls for a bit of fun so I thought I’d write you and ask for advice. By the way, the equipment still works, sort of.
I think most people think disabled people can’t have or don’t want sex. I would like to have a relationship with someone who doesn’t pity me, but is hot for me. I have this really developed upper body, like a gymnast, and people tell me I have a handsome face. That should be enough to get me laid, right? Is there such a thing as a wheelchair fetish?

You’re a fuckin’ treasure, darlin’! I mean it. If you come across as upbeat self-effacing, humorous and sexy in person as you do in this message you shouldn’t have any problems getting laid. Ahhh, but of course, writing for online sex advice from a total stranger is probably a whole lot easier than wheeling up to another hot dude or sizzlin’ chick and suggesting a torrid session of the old slap and tickle, huh?

Yet despite the inherent discomfort and difficulty of being that upfront, that’s preciselywheelchair8.jpg what’s gonna get you laid. It’s all in the presentation Michael. Self-confidence and charm trumps disability every time. Unfortunately, many people think that “paralyzed from the waist down” means “there’s nothin’ goin on down there.” It’s your job to change their perception about that. Now, I’m not suggesting you be a dick about this. Just be your own sweet self and put it out there as natural as can be. You’re entitled to some good lovin’, just like the rest of us. And just like the rest of us, you’re gonna have to learn how to ask for what you want.

While I completely understand you’re not looking for a mercy fuck from someone who will take you out of pity. There may be a number of potential partners out there who’d jump your bones as a novelty…at least at first. I certainly wouldn’t turn my nose up at these folks if I were you. Because a novelty fuck is a teachable moment when you can show the benighted dude or chick what you can do.

paraplegic1.jpgIf you see yourself as a sexual being and put out a sex-positive vibe, I am confident that you will connect with folks. Make eye contact and smile. If you’re leering at her tits or focused on his package, you’re objectifying a potential partner. You don’t want that to happen to you, so don’t do it to anyone else. Consider coming up with a few choice lines that’ll call attention to all the sexual things you can do. Like, “The old legs don’t work so good, but there’s nothing wrong with my mouth and tongue.” Get the picture?

As for wheelchair fetishists, they’re out there honey. Just like the amputee/devotee fetishists I’ve talked/written about. There are even paraplegic porn stars. Just think, this could be the beginning of a whole new career move for you.

Do an internet search using the key words wheelchair fetish. I did and found a couple of really amazing sites: www.gimpsgonewild.com and www.paracathy.com. Check ‘em out.

Just remember, each of us has one kind of disability or another, yours just happens to be really obvious.

Name: Maggie
Gender: female
Age: 36
Location: Reno
I’m faced with a real problem. I consider myself pretty open minded about most things, including sex. Hell, I live and work in Reno, for god sake. I’ve encountered my share of kinksters in my day, but mostly at a distance. Now the kink is right on my doorstep, or should I say right in my bed. My muscular, well-built boyfriend, a guy who does erotic dancing for a living, wants to wear diapers in our sex play. WTF? I never saw this coming. I thought this guy was a normal as they came till last week when he showed up at my place wearing diapers under his workout pants and he wanted me to baby him. I pretty much lost it. Help me understand what’s going on here.

What we have here, darling, is a fella with a diaper fetish, but you’ve already figured that much out on your own, right? This particular fetish is associated with a paraphilia called infantilism. It seems to be growing in popularity, or at least it’s way more out of the closet these days than ever before. The internet offers several sites that cater to Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers. (The shorthand being: AB/DLs) They feature adult sized baby things — diapers, clothes and baby toys, you name it.

Why would anyone, least of all your hunky stripper boyfriend, be into this? Well, there’sadult_baby004.jpg lots of speculation about that — ranging from traumatic early life experiences to the simple desire to be babied. So I guess you’ll just have to ask him what’s up with him, because the source of his urges may be very particular to him.

I want to quickly point out that none of this actually involves real babies or children. And while infantilism and diaper fetishes are pretty benign as far as fetishes go; I certainly can see how the eroticism in a relationship can go right out the window when such a thing is introduced by surprise. I mean, if you are all hot for this dude because he’s hunky and masculine and stuff, and he surprises you with diapers and wants you to mother him; that could easily put the kibosh on the whole sex thing right away.

So I gotta ask, are you into this guy enough to try and understand and perhaps even indulge his particular kink? Or is this just too much, even for an open-minded gal like you, to bear? If you want to go the route of trying to understand, I do have some thoughts.

If you can abide a little diaper play with the BF, I think he’d be eternally grateful. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him to come out to you like he did. I do encourage, however, that you to set some boundaries. Let him know, in no uncertain terms, what you will and will not tolerate. Then stick to your guns. You might want to suggest a trade off; you’ll indulge him his diapers and whatnot just as long as his freak doesn’t cross over into your intimate sex life together.

Name: Edmond
Gender: male
Age: 30
Location: Sidney
I want to try jelqing. What do you know about it? Does it really work?

Jelqing refers to various repetitive massage techniques that claim to increase the size — both in length and girth of a guys cock. The origin of the word is unclear; some say it’s a corruption of “jerk-off”. I doubt that, but whatever!

The folks promoting these exercises refer to them as “natural” because they don’t involve any of the myriad stretching and pumping devices that are available. The claim is that all you need to “grow” your johnson is your two hands, some lubricant and a whole lot of free time every single day.

i_love_my_penis.jpgLike all the other products and devices designed to appeal to all the guys who suffer from big-penis envy, jelqing has spawned a substantial internet industry. There are endless tutorials, guides and programs…at a substantial cost, designed to assist men in implementing these very simple exercises.

There are jelqing online communities, message boards and forums for devotees to update each other on the gains they are making in size. They also share their own custom-developed exercises. No doubt because this is a do-it-yourself sort of deal, jelqing has become the most popular penis enlargement method in America.

There’s a basic jelqing daily workout that lasts from 30-60 minutes. The exercises start with a warm bath or a hot compress applied to the cock to increases blood flow. This gets your schlong ready for the exercises that follow. You can only jelq when your dick semi-erect, don’t ‘cha know. It won’t work if you got a full-on stiffy.

Apply lubricant to your dick. Then firmly grip and completely encircle the base of your cock, ensuring that blood flowing into your dick doesn’t escape, ya know, kinda like using your hand as a cockring. Then you milk your member moving your hand towards your dickhead forcing the blood toward the end of the cock. This is supposed to expand things and make you “grow” a bigger one. The average workout usually consists of around 100-200 of these movements. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The proponents of jelqing insist this is not jack off session, although one can see how it can easily become one. If these exercises stimulate you to the point where you shoot your wad, that’s pretty much the end that exercise period. Also, if you’re jelqing too much or too hard you could hurt yourself and be in bigger trouble than havin’ mini meat. The claim is that after several months of this, you should see a size increase, both in girth or length. I seriously doubt that, since what you gain in length you pay for is loss of girth.

I am told that effective jelqing demands an hour or more each day for at least a year for exercises to be effective. I mean, who has that kind of free time on his hands? No wonder most men fail to complete their jelqing programs.

So I suppose if having a bigger cock is worth the time necessary to “grow” one with this kind of program, knock yourself out. It seems an utter waste of time to me.

Good luck ya’ll

As You Like It!

Name: Wang
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Cambodia
First of all, sorry for my bad english, I’m foriener. I live in Cambodia and sometime in Thailand. I really has a big problem, I’m so afraid of getting HIV. Last week I went to have an oil massage service in cambodia. The massager offered me a speacial service, using her naked body to rubb or grind all over my body. Not intend to have an unprotected sex, so she just gave me a hand job. No any outercourse activities were performed. Only her outer vagina accidently touch (contact) to my penis just 2-3 second when she got up off my body. I think she may be have or may be not have any vagina secretion or other fluied. But I still worried of getting and hiv if her outer vagina touched to the tip of my penis . So, here is my question 1. Do I have any risk or chance of getting an hiv? 2.Should I have to worried? Or do I have to get blood test? I’m really sure that no any insertion penis to the vagina, no intercourse, just accidently “touch” for 2-3 second. All comments are worth for me. Please give me your opinion.

If you are accurately describing what happened between you and the sexually aggressive masseuse, then I don’t think you have anything to worry about in terms of HIV transmission. Were you able to wash up after the event? A little soap and water is always helpful. There is virtually no chance that an accidental brushing of your cock on her pussy lips is gonna give you HIV. So relax, dude!

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That being said, I suggest you get tested anyway; and here’s why. I am of the mind that all sexually active people should test for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections regularly…at least twice a year. All you sexual athletes out there should test every other month. You shouldn’t even think about it, you should just do it. It is painless, discreet, but most importantly, it’s the responsible thing to do. If you make it part of your lifestyle, then there’ll be no embarrassment associated with the trip to your doctor or the local clinic. Make this happen, people!

Name: Gabe
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location: Salt Lake City
I travel a lot for work and often get really lonely on long trips. I’m not much for going to bars, because I don’t drink. And the idea of looking for sex in a bathhouse or sex club, or worse in the bushes, really puts me off. Lately I’ve been thinking I should just hire an escort, but I wouldn’t even know what to do. This must be a pretty common phenomenon thought because I see tons of ads for escorts on line in every city I go to. Any suggestions on how someone new at this might proceed?

Sure darlin’, I have a load of suggestions.

I presume you’ve ordered out for food on occasion while you travel for business, right? Finding a satisfying “order out” sexual adventure is not fundamentally different than that. In the case of an escort, the commodities are charming company, erotic massage, and perhaps a little sex; instead of potstickers, mu shu pork and Kung Pao Chicken.

male_torso.JPGAs you know, not all order out is created equal. There is bad food and unsavory escorts. So you’re gonna need to do some homework. You already know there are loads of escort or rent-boy sites on the net. There are also several review sites, where customers of the providers leave their comments regarding levels of satisfaction and the like. Most escorts out there, particularly the really good ones, immediately call your attention to the reviews they receive. This is a good policy for both provider and consumer alike. It’s like having the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval stamped on your ass.

I have a sense that some of my readers are turning up their nose at this discussion. I often hear from folks that they don’t have to PAY for sex. Oh yeah? Here’s the thing, sex fans; no sex is free. There may not be direct commerce in hard cold cash, but there’s a commercial aspect to all sex…even, or should I say especially, in marriage. So if we could jettison the moral high-horse thing, right about now, I’d appreciate it.

Ok, so now that we have that out of the way, we can get back to your question, Gabe. Once you’ve decided to proceed, start by interviewing a few working boys. This can initially be done via email. Ask for further information about his services and rates. Many escorts have more photos of themselves available to be sent to prospective clients; so you might respectfully request those. If at all possible, include a photo of yourself, or at the very least an accurate description of yourself.

In all communication with the service provider, NEVER suggest that you are offering money for sex. In most jurisdictions that’s against the law. While we all know that the client hopes to get laid in the encounter, the money exchanged is not for the sex. Rather it’s for the provider’s time, company and expertise. This may sound like splitting hairs and maybe it is. But in this arrangement, if sex actually happens, consenting adults are mutually agreeing to it during the prearranged time together.

Curiously enough, many of the sex professionals I know, and I know a lot of ‘em, tell me that a sizable portion of their clientele only want their company and companionship. Outright sex never enters the equation.

Finding the right escort for you is your task. Know what you want and know how to ask for it. Don’t waste your time or that of the provider by beating around the bush. If you are new at this, say so. The rent-boy, if he’s any good at all, will be familiar with this territory and help you though the initial conversation.

There are different levels of pros out there; each will have his own fee structure for services provided. If you’re looking for something kinky, be ready to pay lots more. Never try to haggle with the provider. If he’s out of your price range, move along. Or you could simply come right out with it and say, “Listen, I have X amount of money to spend and I’m looking for some delightful company. Are you available?” This way you let the provider decide if he has the time to spare at the discounted rate. You’d be a fool not to insist on safe-sex, but there’s a shit-load of fools out there.

Not all sex workers are prostitutes because they want to be. Some are supporting a drug habit, some are working their way though college. For some it’s survival sex. For others it’s acting out behavior. But most guys turn pro because they’re good at what they do. And most enjoy the accompanying lifestyle. The truly successful provider will have a string of regulars, men they have a somewhat more intimate connection with. Kinda like finding a great Chinese restaurant and becoming a regular there. The proprietor may just offer you something not found on the menu as a way of acknowledging your preferred customer status. Get it?

Some Johns, use the service of an agency — think Elliot Spitzer. Sometimes that can be a more reliable way to go at first. However, I am of the mind that the hard-working independent entrepreneur is best.

When arranging an outcall to your hotel, there may be an additional surcharge for traveling time and transportation — think gas prices. This should be agreed upon before the deal is struck.

Most independent escorts offer both incalls as well as outcalls. They usually work out of their home or apartment and many of these escorts have day jobs. Some independent escorts also work in the porn industry. If this floats your boat, you will definitely pay a premium for a date with a star.

You’ll also find among the independent providers that unique phenomenon — Gay For Pay. These guys are ostensibly “straight”…and I put that word in quotes and use it very lightly. GFP guys have gay sex with gay men for money. In the old days, we used to refer to them as trade. And as we in the business say, “today’s trade is tomorrow’s competition;” if you catch my drift.

At any rate, like I said at the beginning, a wise and informed consumer is happy and satisfied consumer.

Name: robin
Gender: female
Age: 44
Location: valparaiso, florida
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year we have always had frontal sex and last night we had anal sex does this mean there is a change in his feelings in our relationship or just to try something different?

Since I am of the mind that anal sex is a natural variation of human sexual expression, which is enjoyed by loads and loads of people all over the world, I suspect that your boyfriend was just trying something different. I wouldn’t read too much into it if I were you. However, the only way to know for sure is ask him outright.

What’s so curious about your message is that you say absolutely nothing about your response to thisshe_anal.jpg new sex play. Did it come as a surprise? Is it safe to assume you were the bottom during this little adventure? Was this a new experience for you? Did you enjoy it? Gosh, seems to me you have lots to talk about with the BF, right? I mean, if I’m curious as all get-out about your reactions, and I don’t even know you; imagine how interested he must be in hearing from you. Why he doesn’t just ask is beyond me.

One thing I’d love to know is, if you bottomed this time, is there a chance he’ll bottom for you in the future? Pegging (you know, you with a strap-on or a SHARE) is all the rage these days. In fact, in my private practice I often see straight men who are curious about ass play…their ass. But they’re afraid to bring up the topic of pegging with their girlfriends or wives, because they think the women might think they’ve turned queer. That simply isn’t the case. One of the suggestions I often make to my butt-curious male clients is that they initiate anal sex with their female partners…the chick as the bottom. Then if that goes well, they could suggest that their partner pleasure their bum in just the same way.

I know it’s kind of a roundabout way of asking for what you want, but it often gets the job done.

In honor of gay pride month, a little sex history lesson — The Stonewall Riots

The confrontations between demonstrators and police at The Stonewall Inn, a mafia owned bar in Greenwich Village NYC over the weekend of June 27-29, 1969 are usually cited as the beginning of the modern Lesbian/Gay liberation Movement. What might have been just another routine police raid onstonewall.jpg a bar patronized by homosexuals became the pivotal event that sparked the entire modern gay rights movement.

The Stonewall riots are now the stuff of myth. Many of the most commonly held beliefs are probably untrue. But here’s what we know for sure.

  • In 1969, it was illegal to operate any business catering to homosexuals in New York City — as it still is today in many places in the world. The standard procedure was for New York City’s finest to raid these establishments on a regular basis. They’d arrest a few of the most obvious ‘types’ harass the others and shake down the owners for money, then they’d let the bar open as usual by the next day.
  • Myth has it that the majority of the patrons at the Stonewall Inn were black and Hispanic drag queens. Actually, most of the patrons were probably young, college-age white guys lookin for a thrill and an evening out of the closet, along with the usual cadre of drag queens and hustlers. It was reasonably safe to socialize at the Stonewall Inn for them, because when it was raided the drag queens and bull-dykes were far more likely to be arrested then they were.
  • After midnight June 27-28, 1969, the New York Tactical Police Force called a raid on The Stonewall Inn at 55 Christopher Street in NYC. Many of the patrons who escaped the raid stood around to witness the police herding the “usual suspects” into the waiting paddywagons. There had recently been several scuffles where similar groups of people resisted arrest in both Los Angeles and New York.
  • Stonewall was unique because it was the first time gay people, as a group, realized that what threatened drag queens and bull-dykes threatened them all.
  • Many of the onlookers who took on the police that night weren’t even homosexual. Greenwich Village was home to many left-leaning young people who had cut their political teeth in the civil rights, anti-war and women’s lib movements.
  • As people tied to stop the arrests, the mêlée erupted. The police barricaded themselves inside the bar. The crowd outside attempted to burn it down. Eventually, police reinforcements arrived to disperse the crowd. But this just shattered the protesters into smaller groups that continued to mill around the streets of the village.
  • A larger crowd assembled outside the Stonewall the following night. This time young gay men and women came to protest the raids that were commonplace in the city. They held hands, kissed and formed a mock chorus line singing; “We are the Stonewall Girls/We wear our hair in curls/We have no underwear/We show our pubic hair.” Don’t ‘cha just love it?
  • Police successfully dispersed this group without incident. But the print media picked up the story. Articles appeared in the NY Post, Daily News and The Village Voice. Theses helped galvanize the community to rally and fight back.
  • Within a few days, representatives of the Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis (two of the country’s first homophile rights groups) organized the city’s first ever “Gay Power” rally in Washington Square. Some give hundred protesters showed up; many of them gay and lesbians.

stonewall02.jpgThe riots led to calls for homosexual liberation. Fliers appeared with the message: “Do you think homosexuals are revolting? You bet your sweet ass we are!” And the rest, boys and girls, is as they say is history.

During the first year after Stonewall, a whole new generation of organizations emerged, many identifying themselves for the first time as “Gay.” This not only denoted sexual orientation, but a radical way to self-identify with a growing sense of open political activism. Older, more staid homophile groups soon began to make way for the more militant groups like the Gay Liberation Front.

The vast majority of these new activists were under thirty; dr dick’s generation, don’t cha know. We were new to political organizing and didn’t know that this was as ground-breaking as it was. Many groups formed on colleges campuses and in big cities around the world.

By the following summer, 1970, groups in at least eight American cities staged simultaneous events commemorating the Stonewall riots on the last Sunday in June. The events varied from a highly political march of three to five thousand in New York to a parade with floats for 1200 in Los Angeles. Seven thousand showed up in San Francisco.

Finally, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! all you hot daddies.

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Room With A View

Look for my new

Video Reviews!

This week we have two great titles: COUPLES MASTURBATION and EVERY COUPLE CAN.

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“I think we can all agree that there’s nothing more fundamental to a happy and healthy sex life than masturbation. Dr. Michael Perry. Ph.D., ACS, the producer of these fine movies, introduces the concept of masturbating with and for your partner.”

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“This R-rated video (EVERY COUPLE CAN) has much more of a story line than the previous one. First we meet Sam and Marie, a sexually frustrated couple. Sam turns to a sex surrogate to learn how to overcome his sexual problems in the hopes he’ll be able to save his marriage. Sam’s friend Trevor and his wife are having sexual difficulties too. What a surprise! “

…full reviews here