Tag Archives: Masturbation

What Makes “Good” Sex

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By MysteryVibe

If I asked you to describe what constitutes good sex, or a good sexual partner, what would you say?

We all have a different idea about what makes sex ‘good’. For many of us, it’s someone who pays attention to our sexual needs, someone attentive (who isn’t afraid of oral sex), someone that makes you feel sexy, someone who tells you when something feels good, sex that’s passionate and sensual, sex that’s kinky, consensual sex, sex that’s surprising and always fresh…

One thing I think we can all agree on is that good sex revolves around understanding pleasure.

It doesn’t matter whether you’ve had sex with one person, or multiple people, it’s likely that at some point you’ve wondered if you’re actually any good at it.

Of course, there’s no way of really answering that, because one person’s fantasy could be another person’s nightmare.

However, there are a few universal aspects that can help you have the toe-clenching, spine-tingling, lip-biting, eye-rolling sex you really want.

Don’t just guess, ask.

You may think you know how to pleasure your partner without asking but the truth is, you probably don’t. Remember that no sexual partner is the same, so something your last lover enjoyed isn’t instantly transferable.

For example, we once had a customer ask us how she could encourage her husband to be more dominant in the bedroom. He was an attentive lover, very intimate and romantic… but to ‘get off’ she needed deeper, harder penetration.

As a means to open up a conversation about pleasure, she suggested buying a sex toy they could both enjoy, like Crescendo. Although initially surprised, he warmed to the idea and after some discussion, they both realised that they wanted the same thing; he was being extra sensitive because he didn’t want to spank her out of the blue in case she didn’t enjoy it, and she didn’t want to ask to be spanked for fear of being shunned.

The moral of the story is: communication is key. There’s a reason that’s a cliché…

Praise your sexual partner

We all have an ego, and we all like it to be massaged. Being told we’re good at something, or how we’ve made someone feel wanted is a great feeling.

Sex is such a natural part of life, yet we’re all too embarrassed to talk about it, or tell our partner how bloody great they were at lovemaking last night.

If your lover does something that makes your eyes light up with pleasure, tell them about it. Talk to them about how you like it when they touch you there, why you love it when they grip onto your hips or pull your hair like that.

The best way to guide someone’s behaviour is with positive reinforcement. Actively appreciate the good stuff, and you’ll be more likely to experience it again.

 

Know that orgasm isn’t everything – and try not to fake it!

This is something we deal with everyday; people besotted with finding a way to increase their ability to orgasm.

There’s nothing quite like a good orgasm, I get that. But please can we all take a moment to appreciate that good sex is not defined by an orgasm. Rather, let’s think of pleasure as a journey and enjoy every kiss and caress in the moment, without worrying about whether climax is nearing.

Stressing about when your orgasm will come decreases the chance of it actually happening. Orgasm takes dedication and endurance.

So instead of asking yourself why hasn’t it happened, is it me? Is it him? Am I doing something wrong? Do I like him? Does he like me? Just CHILL.

Talk to your lover about how you make yourself orgasm, where you touch, how hard you touch. And whatever you do, do not fake it.

Faking it will not help. It’s just a deterrent. He will think you love that thing he does, that you wish he didn’t. He thinks that enables your orgasm.

Introduce some mystery to your bedroom

I know I’m always banging on about introducing new, exciting things in the bedroom. You’re probably thinking all right enough already, we know you love sex toys.

Seriously though, they are great for a lot of reasons… having trouble climaxing during sex? There’s a toy for that. Is your sex getting a little same-y? Toys can help.

Sex toys help us explore our bodies, they help us discover ‘hot spots’, they boost our confidence, they encourage sexual liberation and – above all – they make us feel great.

Ty this – think of three ways you could use a sex toy to enhance your pleasure together. This could include using it during oral sex (for example, you could insert your Crescendo whilst your partner orally pleases you), you could tease different parts of the body during foreplay, or if you have a bendable vibrator like Crescendo, you could wrap it around your partner’s penis while he penetrates you with his fingers.

Decide your top three, try them out, and then tell me that sex toys aren’t something to shout out about… I bet you can’t.

Complete Article HERE!

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Proud, Perky, (Pervy), Penguin

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And, like the last two weeks, you can see them HERE and HERE, we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort. This week it’s a German company, Satisfyer.  There is something about the European aesthetic that both excites and delights. But don’t take my word for it.

Here’s one of our favorite veteran reviewers, Jada, who will introduce us to today’s product.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) —— $33.99

Jada
When I heard that Dr Dick was reviving the Dr Dick Review Crew I wanted back in. It’s been nearly three years since I wrote my last review. http://www.drdicksextoyreviews.com/2014/11/14/seed-by-zini/ Lots of things have changed in my life since then. When I joined the Review Crew way back in 2008 I was 46 years old, married (23 years), the mother of two teenage kids and I was working a very stressful job at a nonprofit organization. Now I am 55 years old, a widow, (my husband died two years ago), my kids are no longer teenagers (both are married), but I’m still working at that nonprofit. So even though many things change, others stay the same.

I really missed this reviewing effort; I was sorry when it ended. I missed discovering all the products that came my way. Not all of them were wonderful, not by a long shot, but each and every one taught me a little more about my body and my sexuality. I was also instrumental in introducing some of my friends to the world of adult products. So many women are clueless about the joys and pleasures to be had through adult products.

Today I have something really amazing to tell you about. What we have here is the award-winning Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) by Satisfyer. Isn’t he adorable?

The first thing that piqued my interest was the Next Generation part of its name. Since it suggested that this marvel has been a work in progress, I wanted to find out more. I searched the web for Satisfyer Pro and discovered I was right. Some while ago the first generation of this product, a red, pink, and white version, appeared on the market. There are plenty of reviews of that are still available on the web. Most reviewers like the first generation, but had issues with some of the toy’s attributes. I’ll have more to say about this below.

For the uninitiated, Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) is a clitoral stimulator, but it’s not a vibrator. Actually, it simulates oral sex with a delightful sucking motion.

Let’s start with the packaging, shall we? Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) comes in is pleasant little cardboard container that features the adorable penguin. There’s a plastic insert, which holds the toy and it’s USB recharger, which connects to the Penguin by magnets. There’s also a very helpful user’s manual. The packaging is very nice, but simple and understated. Some manufactures package their products in such elaborate packaging, one has to wonder, how much more does all that packaging add to the retail price of the product? And, does that pricing place the product outside the grasp of less affluent women?

This generation of the toy not only resembles the shape of a penguin, but its whole color scheme changed from read, pink, and white to black and white, just like an actual penguin. He even sports a swanky little bow tie, which is removable. His belly houses the one dual-purpose, on/off and intensity, button. His oval beak is the business end of the toy. It envelops your clit and provides the sucking action. Delightful!

Pro Penguin fits easily and comfortably in my hand. There is nothing unwieldy here, thank you very much. I know that as I have gotten older my manual dexterity is less than it used to be. I am so glad that Satisfyer is being conscious of us older folks and our needs. As I mentioned above, the smallish oval beak offers pinpoint stimulation. The Satisfier logo is on the back of Pro Penguin, and there are two small metal charging pins are on its base.

Pro Penguin is covered is covered in a velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. I simply submerge it into the sink with mild soap and warm water and rub it down a bit. Then let it air dry. The white “beak” is detachable for detailed cleaning with a cotton swab, if you’d like. Or you can just wipe the down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize it for sharing. And because Pro Penguin is also 100% waterproof, it’s the ideal toy for bath or shower, more about this in a bit.

Pro Penguin is remarkably quiet, even when it’s not pleasuring your body. This is one of the improvements Satisfyer made over the first generation. The reviewers I mentioned at the beginning of this review all commented on how loud the first generation was.

There are 11 stimulation patterns you can cycle through till you find the one that best suits you and your current mood. Very Nice! The buttons are intuitive and easy to use. The control system of Pro Penguin also offers a + and – feature, which allows me full control of the strength of the suction. This is really important for a clitoral stimulator. Let me explain.

If you are unfamiliar with suction-based toys, as I was when I began playing with Pro Penguin, there are some things you should know. Suction type stimulation is very different from the stimulation you get with a vibrator. First off, Pro Penguin doesn’t vibrate! I find the pressure wave sensations more intense than vibration so I have to start slowly. Pro Penguin’s “beak” is small, so the pleasure is incredibly pinpoint. I find that sometimes I need to take a more indirect approach, at least at the beginning of my play, than direct clitoral contact. And this toy can feel very different from one setting too another.

My favorite place to use pleasure products is in the bath. This is where Pro Penguin shines. I can experience waves and waves of pleasure while being engulfed in womb-like warm water. In fact, my first orgasm ever was in a bath so this watery environment is like pleasure-home to me.

Dr Dick asked me to specifically address the issue of how Pro Penguin might appeal to senior and elder women. All I can say is if you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation, as some women do, this is the toy for you. It’s small, easy to handle, fits comfortably in one’s hand, controls are easy to manipulate, and it’s very quiet. I think senior and elder women will appreciate all of these features.

When you also consider that Pro Penguin is waterproof, rechargeable and covered in body-friendly silicone; well, that’s nearly perfection. And please, consider the price point. This amazing pleasure product is under $40. That is an amazing bargain.

Oh, one last thing. Not all seniors and elders have computers. And since Pro Penguin utilizes a USB-type recharger, that might be an issue. But even that concern is easily solved. One can purchase a very inexpensive USB wall charger at just about any variety store, drug store, or hardware store. These chargers plug directly into any wall socket. See, you don’t even need a computer.

Full Review HERE!

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Debunking Common College Sex Myths

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by and

Sex is among the most talked-about subjects on college campuses. Yet myths and misconceptions pervade almost every discussion of sexual activity and sexuality, subtly infiltrating the beliefs of even the best-informed people. Sexually inexperienced young people are likely to become confused by the dizzying array of information and opinions that assails them in conversations about sex.

Only by evaluating common sexual myths and the harmful effects they can have are we able to move past ignorance into a healthier understanding of our bodies and ourselves.

Myth 1: The withdrawal method is safe.

The withdrawal method, which is when the penis is pulled out of the vagina before ejaculation, is among the most dangerous and least effective birth control techniques. According to Planned Parenthood, this method is 78 percent effective. Pre-ejaculatory fluid can sometimes contain sperm, which can put a partner at risk of pregnancy. In addition, physical contact and the exchange of fluids can put both partners at risk for sexually transmitted infections. Just because the man has not ejaculated does not mean that the sex is safe.

Moreover, this technique requires very good timing and self-control to be successful.

“It’s just not very reliable to rely on that in the heat of the moment,” said Talia Parker (COL ’20), director of tabling for H*yas for Choice. If the man accidentally ejaculates before pulling out, the woman will be at an even greater risk of pregnancy, have to deal with a sticky cleanup and sex will end without satisfaction. Plan B, emergency birth control, costs more than $50, too. Getting a condom might seem inconvenient or less fun, but it’s worth it to prevent the consequences possible with the pull-out method.

Myth 2: Men just want sex all the time.

One of the most pernicious sex myths is the notion that men only think about sex all the time. This myth would have us believe that the primary motive behind male behavior is lust. But men have many motivations and drives apart from their sexuality. Relationships between men and women do not always have to be about sex, nor should we callously assume that a man’s actions are motivated by the desire to have sex.

The next time we attribute a man’s actions to his desire for sex, we should take a step back and evaluate why we believe that. More often than not, we will find that we have been making gendered assumptions. Moreover, if a person who identifies as a man does want consensual sex, we should accept this and not try to shame him.

Furthermore, we must remember that not all students in college are having sex. Some students may be choosing to abstain for personal or religious reasons, and others, including asexual students, may not be interested.

“Just having a positive attitude about sex is important and not judging other people for their choices as well,” Parker said.

Myth 3: The only way to experience pleasure is through penetration.

In most of our imaginations, sex means one thing: intercourse between a man and a woman with vaginal penetration. But this image is deeply flawed. It neither incorporates the experiences of gay, queer or intersex people nor accurately conveys the whole array of sexual possibilities available to people regardless of preference or gender.

“The arousal period for a woman is almost twice than [that of] a man,” Lovely Olivier (COL ’18), executive co-chair for United Feminists, a student group dedicated to combating influences of sexism and heteronormativity, said. “Oral sex, erotic massage, hand jobs, mutual masturbation, petting and tribbing, to name a few, are all non-penetrative options for you and your partner to consider. Furthermore, non-penetrative foreplay can increase satisfaction in intimacy altogether. Talk with your partner, share what you want and be open to new experiences.”

Myth 4: Protection doesn’t exist on a Jesuit campus.

Throughout the week, H*yas For Choice tables in the middle of Red Square from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., giving out lube, latex condoms, internal condoms and dental dams for free. For some, long-term birth control, like the pill, may be a better solution. Although intrauterine devices do not prevent STI transmission, the Student Health Center hopes to start giving the devices out next month.

Myth 5: Women do not masturbate.

The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior published by the Indiana University School of Public Health found that 24.5 percent of women aged 18 to 24 said they masturbated a few times per month to weekly, compared to 25 percent of men in this range who masturbate a few times per month to weekly. Masturbation can help people achieve pleasure and help individuals in relationships by “finding what is best for you,” Parker said.

Trying sex toys can also allow women to embrace their sexuality and experience their first orgasms.

Complete Article HERE!

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The Guybrator Cometh!

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Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews Is BACK!

Hey sex fans!

I got some fantastic news for you.

After a hiatus of nearly three years, I am reviving Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews.

There have been lots of changes in the adult product marketplace over the intervening years and there have been lots of changes here at Dr Dick Sex Advice too.

When our last review appeared in December 2014 the Dr Dick Review Crew and I were plum tuckered out after more than seven years of grueling product testing. We all decided that it was high time to throw in the towel. Despite having the opportunity to sample some of the world’s best adult products we needed a break. Frankly, I thought for sure that when we ended our review run it was the end of it…for good. Well, like they always say, never say never.

Over the years, I’d hear from my loyal readership; they’d tell me that they missed our fun, informative, snarky, and sometimes irreverent reviews. My readers would ask about members of the Dr Dick Review Crew. “What ever happened to Jack & Karen, Glenn & Hank, Joy and Dixie and the others? And when are they gong to return?” I would answer the best I could, but I would always say, “It’s not likely that we’ll revive our product reviews, but I’m delighted to know that our thoughts and comments were meaningful and helped folks make wise buying decisions.”

The intervening years also brought several new potential reviewers. “Hey Dr Dick, If ever you revive your sex toy reviews, I want to volunteer to be on your crew.”

New and innovative products were coming to the marketplace and manufacturers would often reach out to me with offers to send me samples. Again, would thank them for their interest, but declined their offers.

The long and short of it is, I kinda missed the hurly-burley of it all too. There’s nothing like getting a new product delivered to your door, a product that holds out the promise of fun and pleasure.

So, we’re officially back!

We have some new Review Crew members, a hot load of very interesting products, and an eagerness to share it all with you.

Our inaugural product is something very special and here to tell you all about it is a new Dr Dick Review Crew Member, Trevor. I’ll let him introduce himself and what he has in his hot little hands.

Pulse III Duo —— $149.00

Trevor
Hey all! I’m Trevor. I’m 32 years old. I’m originally from the UK, Manchester to be precise, but have been in the US since I was 13. I live with my da. My mom passed away three years ago. I am involved with this great gal. Shelia is her name. We’ve been together for just over a year.

I absolutely LOVE sex! I’ve been interested in sex for as long as I can remember. Get this, my da caught me wankin’ away like the little pervert I was when I was just eleven. Embarrassing, huh? Actually it was OK. I think he was as embarrassed as me. Anyhow, after that we’ve been able to talk about sex, which, I think, has been good for both of us. Especially now since my mom’s gone. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Right now, I want to introduce you to the Pulse III Duo. It’s the world’s first Guybrator. It says so right on the classy super-shiny outer box. And this lovely comes from the good people at Hot Octopuss out of London…the one in England. GO Great Britain!!

Inside the box you’ll find a drawstring storage pouch, which has the Hot Octopuss logo on it, a magnetic/USB charging lead and an instruction manual. Then there’s a formed cardboard insert that holds the Pulse III Duo and a round remote control. All the packaging is recyclable. That’s the first item on the Dr Dick Review Crew’ checklist for a GREEN product.

Now let’s take a quick look at the Pulse III Duo itself. It’s basically a palm-sized hammock for your dick. It has these two flexible wings that surround your cock and you can use it with either a limp dick or a stiffy. It’s covered in this beautiful 100% silicone skin and it’s also 100% waterproof. By the way, the Pulse III Duo is the second generation Pulse. There’s also a Pulse II and a Pulse III Solo.

There are buttons on either side of the Pulse III Duo, one for power and vibrating patterns on the left side, and two (+/-) buttons to control intensity on the right side. The Pulse III Duo’s remote activates and controls the independent external vibrator for clitoral stimulation when you use it as a couple. So it’s actually two vibrators in one.

After giving the Pulse III Duo a charge for four hours using the magnetic USB charger, it was ready to go. I used it alone first. I started with my limp dick. I placed it in the hammock with my frenulum, the underside of my cockhead, on the sweet spot of the guybrator, and switched it on. The pulsing piston-like osculation action got me rock hard in moments. This thing is fantastic! I cycled through the 6 stimulation modes and adjusted the intensity with each mode. I couldn’t believe the sensations. I nearly blew my wad in the first few minutes.

Just when I thought I had experienced the full range of sensations I happened upon the “Turbo” button. You just press and hold the (+) button for a moment and it will take your vibrations straight to warp speed. DAMN!! This took me over the top in a matter of a couple minutes. Now, just so you know, I wasn’t actually stroking myself; I was just holding the Pulse III Duo on my dick.

The next time out I decided to add some lube. As with all silicone toys, use only water based lube. A silicone based lube would mar the beautiful finish of the toy. This time I gripped the Pulse III Duo around my dick, folding the wings slightly to embrace my cock. It felt so good I almost forgot to add the vibration. I edged my self for about 20 minutes this way. No mean task, because the pleasure was so intense I had to release my cock several times just to avoid cumming too soon.

The third solo use was in the shower. I love to wank in the shower. And because the Pulse III Duo is waterproof it’s the ideal shower or bath buddy.

I can see where the Pulse III Duo would make a great tool for some guy trying to gain control over his ejaculation response. If you cum too quickly and you want to lean how to last longer, this toy could help train you to do that.

After nearly exhausting myself with solo play I decided to put the Pulse III Duo away till I had the opportunity to show it to and play with it with my gal, Shelia. Luckily, Shelia loves sex toys, particularly the ones that vibrate. In fact, she is the one that originally turned me on to sex toys.

One evening we got a little buzz on with some killer Chardonnay. I whipped out the Pulse III Duo and handed it to her. I didn’t tell her anything about it; I wanted to see if she could figure it out. She handled it a bit and said, “this is a guy’s toy, right?” “Well, it sure can be.” I responded. I told her about my solo play and how I nearly knocked myself out with the powerful orgasms I had with it.

She thought that was all fine and good, but said, “I thought you said this was a toy for couples.” “It IS!!” I responded. That’s when I handed her the remote and showed her how she could adjust the completely independent vibrations on the bottom of Pulse III Duo to stimulate herself while my cock was being stimulated in the hammock.

In no time we were out of our clothes and messin’ around. I put the Pulse III Duo around my dick and positioned the base of the thing on Shelia’s pussy. We were kissing passionately, she was using the remote to cycle through the vibrations, and, within minutes, we both came. Breathless, Sheila simply said, “Wow!”

This is the most fun we’ve had without actually fucking.

One thing to note; the Pulse III Duo is kinda loud, at least comparatively speaking. Shelia and I didn’t care, but you might.

If, for some reason you and your partner, guy or gal, don’t feel up to the old in and out of penetrative sex, this is the toy for you.

As I already mentioned, the Pulse III Duo is covered in velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. Toss it into the skink with mild soap and warm water, scrub it down a bit, and let it air dry. Or you can just wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing.”

I mentioned my da at the beginning of this review, right? He’s in his mid 60’s and has been having some problems with blood pressure. He confided in me some months ago that his blood pressure meds are robbing him of his erections. I felt so bad for him because I can get a boner at the drop of a hat. Once I saw what the Pulse III Duo could do with my flaccid dick I offered to share it with him.

I said, “Look what I got.” “What the hell is that?” He responded. I explained how the thing worked the best I could then showed him the Hot Octopuss website and some of the Pulse III Duo videos on YouTube. I said, “Ya know, you don’t even have to be hard to get enough pleasure to cum.”

I said, “I’m gonna just leave this here. Take it for a spin if ya like.”

He did and absolutely loved it. He went out the very next day and bought one for himself.

Speaking of which, you can purchase the Pulse III Duo through the Hot Octopuss website, or just about any high-end adult products store online will carry it too.

Full Review HERE!

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9 Reasons You Might Not Be Orgasming

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By Sophie Saint Thomas

While orgasms don’t define good sex, they are pretty damn nice. However, our bodies, minds, and relationships are complicated, meaning orgasms aren’t always easy to come by (pun intended). From dating anxiety to medication to too little masturbation, here are nine possible culprits if you’re having a hard time orgasming — plus advice on how to deal.

1. You expect vaginal sex alone to do it for you.

One more time, for the cheap seats in the back: Only about 25 percent of people with vaginas come from penetration alone. If you’re not one of them, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you or your body. As licensed psychotherapist Amanda Luterman has told Allure, ability to come from vaginal sex has to do with the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris: The closer your clit is to this opening, the more vaginal sex will stimulate your clit.

The sensation of a penis or a dildo sliding into your vagina can be undeniably delightful. But most need people need that sensation paired with more direct clitoral stimulation in order to come. Try holding a vibrator against your clit as your partner penetrates you, or put your or your partner’s hands to good use.

2. Your partner is pressuring you.

Interest in your partner’s pleasure should be non-optional. But when you’re having sex with someone and they keep asking if you’ve come yet or if you’re close, it can throw your orgasm off track. As somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist Holly Richmond points out, “Being asked to perform is not sexy.” If your partner is a little too invested in your orgasm, it’s time to talk. Tell them you appreciate how much they care, but that you’re feeling pressure and it’s killing the mood for you.

It’s possible that they’re judging themselves as a partner based on whether or not you climax, and they may be seeking a little reassurance that they’re making you feel good. If they are, say so; if you’re looking to switch it up, this is your opportunity to tell them it would be so hot if they tried this or that thing next time you hop in bed.

3. Your antidepressants are messing with your sex drive.

As someone who continues to struggle with depression, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to seek treatment and take medication if you and your care provider decide that’s what’s right for you. Antidepressants can be lifesavers, and I mean that literally.

However, certain medications do indeed affect your ability to come. SSRIs such as Zoloft, Lexapro, and Prozac can raise the threshold of how much stimulation you need to orgasm. According to New York City sex therapist Stephen Snyder, author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long Lasting Relationship. “For some women, that just means you’re going to need a good vibrator,” says New York City sex therapist Stephen Snyder, author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long Lasting Relationship. “For others, it might mean your threshold is so high that no matter what you do, you’re just not going to be able to get there.”

If your current medication is putting a dramatic damper on your sex life, you have options, so talk to your doctor. Non-SSRI antidepressants such as Wellbutrin are available, while newer medications like Viibryd or Trintellix may come with fewer sexual side effects than other drugs, Snyder says. I’m currently having excellent luck with Fetzima. I don’t feel complete and utter hopelessness yet can also come my face off (a wonderful way to live).

4. Your birth control is curbing your libido.

Hormonal birth control can also do a number on your ability to climax, according to Los Angeles-based OB/GYN Yvonne Bohn. That’s because it can decrease testosterone levels, which in turn can mean a lower libido and fewer orgasms. If you’re on the pill and the sexual side effect are giving you grief, ask your OB/GYN about switching to a pill with a lower dose of estrogen or changing methods altogether.

5. You’re living with anxiety or depression.

“Depression and anxiety are based on imbalances between neurotransmitters,” OB/GYN Jessica Shepherd tells Allure. “When your dopamine is too high or too low, that can interfere with the sexual response, and also your levels of libido and ability to have sexual intimacy.” If you feel you may have depression or an anxiety disorder, please go see a doctor. Your life is allowed to be fun.

6. You’re not having sex for long enough.

A good quickie can be exciting (and sometimes necessary: If you’re getting it on in public, for example, it’s not exactly the time for prolonged foreplay.) That said, a few thrusts of a penis inside of a vagina is not a reliable recipe for mutual orgasm. Shepherd stresses the importance of foreplay, which can include oral, deep kissing, genital stimulation, sex toys, and more. Foreplay provides both stimulation and anticipation, making the main event, however you define that, even more explosive.

7. You’re recovering from sexual trauma.

Someone non-consensually went down on me as part of a sexual assault four years ago, and I’ve only been able to come from oral sex one time since then. Post-traumatic stress disorder is common among survivors of sexual trauma; so are anxiety and orgasm-killing flashbacks, whether or not the survivor in question develops clinical PTSD. Shepherd says sexual trauma can also cause hypertonicity, or increased and uncomfortable muscle tension that can interfere with orgasm. If you’re recovering from sexual trauma, I encourage you to find a therapist to work with, because life — including your sex life — can get better.

8. You’re experiencing body insecurity.

Here’s the thing about humans: They want to have sex with people they’re attracted to. Richmond says it’s important to remember your partner chooses to have sex with you because they’re turned on by your body. (I feel confident your partner loves your personality, as well.) One way to tackle insecurity is to focus on what your body can do — for example, the enormous pleasure it can give and receive — rather than what it looks like.

9. You’re shying away from masturbation.

Our partners don’t always know what sort of stimulation gets us off, and it’s especially hard for them to know when we don’t know ourselves. If you’re not sure what type of touch you enjoy most, set aside some time and use your hands, a sex toy, or even your bathtub faucet to explore your body at a leisurely pace. Once you start to discover how to make yourself feel good, you can demonstrate your techniques to your partner.

Complete Article HERE!

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