Intimacy – Page 91 – Dr Dick's Sex Advice

September 26, 2008February 16, 2016

I’ll be the judge of that!

Name: Eddie
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Sacramento
I have a pretty big dick, almost 9 inches and if I try I can bend myself till the tip is just touching my lips and then I can shoot right in my mouth. But I want to get more of my cock in my mouth because I think it’s hot. Are there any exercises I can do to help me do this? Thanks.

You go, dude! Autofellatio, or self-sucking is every man’s dream. Of course, if all of us men folk could blow ourselves, there would be no good reason for us to ever leave our house.

What we have here, sex fans, is a guy who can orally masturbate himself. According to the Kinsey Reports less than 1% of males can lick or suck their own cock. Obviously, suckin’ is more difficult than lickin’, because the guy’s gotta fold himself over a whole lot more to get more of his unit in his mouth. But it is doable for the lucky few.

Did you know that there is archaeological evidence for self-administered blowjobs in Egyptian hieroglyphs? That’s right, sex fans! According to researcher David Lorton, “Many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religious mythology of Egypt. The sun god Ra is said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by sucking himself off, then spitting out his spunk into the ground.” Yeah baby, give me that old time religion!

Successful self-sucking depends on two things, Eddie — having a big enough dick and being limber as all get-out so you can pretty much bend in half. Every guy can do something about his flexibility, but none of us can grow our dick longer. That’s why this behavior remains fantasy material for the vast majority of us wee willies.

If you want to suck your own cock it’s a good idea to begin by expanding your range of motion; ya know, working on becoming more limber. Concentrate on stretching exercises that will help improve the flexibility in your legs, glutes, lower back, upper back and neck. If you’re not doin Yoga, pup, now’s a good time to start.

Begin by stretching out your legs. Your quads and hamstrings need to be nice and limber. While lying flat on the floor, with your legs fully extended. Lift each leg in succession. Take hold of your calf or thigh and pull your bent leg toward your chest. Hold this for 15 seconds, breathe deeply and release. Repeat five more times. Once you’re able to do one leg at a time, work on doing both legs at once. Be careful not to over stretch, you don’t want to pull a muscle.

Next stretch your back and neck. While lying flat on the floor, clasp your fingers together place them behind your head and slowly roll yourself up while your hold your chin to your chest. This will be exactly like doing a crunch, only completely different. Hold these stretches for 15 seconds apiece, breathe deeply and release. Repeat five more times.

Once you’ve mastered these stretches to the point you can pert-near fold yourself in half, you should be getting close to being able to lick your own dick…if it’s long enough, that is.

While lying flat on the floor place, roll yourself up, legs to your head and place your knees, one at a time, on either side of your head so you’re looking at your crotch and your pud is pointed towards your lips. Don’t forget to breathe through these stretches.

Now grab your ass and pull your dick closer to your mouth. If it’s meant to be, this is how it will happen. If it’s not meant to be, it won’t.

But don’t despair, if ya can’t pull this off. All those stretching exercises you’ve been doing will make you a much better lover with a partner. Because you will be much more limber for all the sexual gymnastics, don’t cha know.

Name: Gil
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Ohio
I’m bi and I have both female and male lovers. Right now, I’m in more of a same sex phase. I’m dating two different guys that I like a lot. Both are really nice and fun and the sex is pretty good. But neither one of these guys — one is 23 and the other is 25, knows how to kiss worth a damn. And I can’t get worked up without kissing. The 23 year old claims to be mostly straight and says kissing is too queer for him. The other guy is all like all open mouth teeth. Yuck! Is it just me, or is kissing a lost art for gay men?

You are so right on, Gil! Kissing is a lost art, but not just for gay men. Women often tell me that their straight male partners don’t know squat about kissing either. Is it just too intimate a thing for manly men nowadays or what?

And yeah, it is queer for one guy to kiss another guy. It’s supposed to be, for Pet’s sake! What, does the 23 year old think he’ll maintain his “straightness” if he sucks and fucks another dude, but doesn’t kiss him? WTF!

In my book, kissing is essential to satisfying sex. If ya can’t kiss, I’d be willing to bet you can’t fuck either. Oh, that’s not to say that you won’t be able to bump parts, any monkey can do that. But real good fucking involves passion and how’s there supposed to be passion without kissing? That’s what I’d like to know.

Kissing is often the first sexual experience we have. Whether it’s a light kiss from a friend, or deep sensuous French kiss with a potential lover. We can express so much with kissing — love, passion, friendship, commitment — and we can do so while fully clothed.

Kissing someone on the mouth is bliss. But taking those kisses to other places on your partner’s body is a mighty fine idea too. I used to think kissing came naturally to us all, but now I’m convinced that’s now so. It could be we all have an innate ability that just needs to be nurtured before it blossoms. Whatever the case may be, there are some things the kissing challenged ought know.

Always make sure that your breath is fresh. There’s nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath! This is particularly important for those of you who still smoke.

Kissing not only involves your mouth, it also has to involve body contact, hugging and touching.

If you’re all open mouth, teeth and drool, you’re not kissing.
If you rush to jam your tongue into your partner’s mouth and down his or her throat, you’re not kissing.
If you’re biting instead of nibbling, you’re not kissing.
If you’re trying to cover his or her entire mouth with yours like some kind of freaky suction cup, you’re not kissing.
If you’re kissing with your eyes wide open, you’re not kissing.
If your tongue is poking and prodding in your partner’s mouth like it is searching for lost food, you’re not kissing.
IF someone is kissing you and you’re not kissing back, you’re not kissing.
If you’re body is stiff, like a frozen slab of beef, you’re not kissing.
If your hands are stationary without a thing to do, you’re not kissing.
If you think kissing is something ya gotta do just to get laid, you’re not kissing.

If you’re pressed for technique, or you’re simply clueless about where to begin, start by giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then move back a little, look him or her in the eye, then move in again for another kiss with a bit more passion this time. Slowly build up the passion and excitement with a series of these kinds of seductive kisses till you’re all over one another like a bad cold.

Or try light kissing all over your partner’s face and neck pausing every now and again for a deep sigh and a longing look in his/her eyes. Whatever you do, don’t suck or slobber. Save that for when you’re eating her out or sucking his cock.

If you think you need practice kissing, and unless you’ve been told that you are a great kisser, you do need practice. And you’re too timid to invite a partner to join you for the exercise, here’s what I propose you do. Make a fist; turn it sideways so that you have the opening between your thumb and forefinger in front of you. Kiss that. Stand in front of a mirror and watch yourself. If you look like they do in the movies, you may be on the right track.

When you think you’re getting the hang of it, move on to the real thing. Don’t be shy we all have to start somewhere. You might invite your partner to give you some feed back on how you’re doing. Remember, practice makes perfect.

Name: Wilson
Gender: male
Age: 58
Location: Lancing MI
I’m a successful entrepreneur, in decent health (I could stand to lose a few pounds.) I have just about everything a man could want in life, but I’m miserable. I have no energy and I feel like I’m sleepwalking through my life. I have no sex drive at all; my wife thinks I’m having an affair…I wish. Even Viagra doesn’t do the trick anymore. Is this just old age, or what?

Old age, at 58? I beg your pardon! Hell, you’re not even technically a senior yet! Regardless what we call it, you sound like you’re in the throws of andropause — male menopause — ya know, the change of life!

Never heard of such a thing? You’re not alone. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has begun to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels has on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages. This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

There’s no doubt a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

While most all of us have heard of a mid-life crisis, and it’s tragic consequences — red convertible sports cars, comb-overs, and the trophy wife or lover — fewer have heard of andropause. A mid-life crisis is essentially a psycho-social adjustment to aging — bored at work, bored at home, bored with the wife or partner — that sort of thing.

Although andropause may coincide with a mid-life crisis, is not the same thing. Andropause is a distinct physiological phenomenon that is akin to female menopause.

Like I said, the production of testosterone diminishes gradually after age 40. I suppose you know that testosterone is the hormone that stimulates sexual development in the male infant, bone and muscle growth in adolescent males, and is responsible for our sexual drive, right? But did you know that by the age of 55 the amount of testosterone secreted into our bloodstream is significantly lower than it was at 45. And by age 80, most male hormone levels have decreased to pre-puberty levels.

Men, are you over 50, feeling weak, lethargic, depressed and irritable? Do you have mood swings, hot flashes, suffer from insomnia and decreased libido, like our buddy Wilson, here? Then you too may be andropausal. You need to get some lead back in your pencil!

All kidding aside, all us andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Ask your physician about this. Just know that some medical professionals resist testosterone therapy, because they mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer. Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. However, before starting a testosterone regiment, insist on a complete physical, including blood work and a rectal examine. Mmmm, rectal exams!

Here’s an interesting tidbit; total testosterone, which is generally the only thing that is ever measured in men complaining of andropausal symptoms, is only low in relation to the standard laboratory “normal range” in 13% of cases. However, more detailed blood analysis shows that bio-available Testosterone, which is the important measure, is decreased in 74% of cases.

Testosterone is available in many forms — oral, injectable, trans-dermal and by way of implants. The oral form is not recommended because of the high risk of liver damage. But injections, patches, pellets, creams and gels might be just the answer.

I encourage you to be informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

I just found a swell resource online: The Andropause Society. Check it out!

Good luck ya’ll

September 22, 2008June 25, 2018

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #81 — 09/22/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Here we are at yet another change in the seasons. Depending on where you live, the autumnal or vernal equinox is upon us. And I simply can’t believe that time is passing so quickly. It seems only weeks ago we were celebrating the solstice.

Well, despite the relentless march of time some things never change. One can always count on there being a flock of sexually worrisome folks looking for advice. And ya know what? They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you. Today’s show is all Q&A.

So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

Stephen is trapped in a sexless place.
Skye can’t get off with her BF unless he fucks her bum.
Josh wants it bad, but what he don’t know about women is a lot!
Mr. Limpy is…well just that — limp.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

September 15, 2008June 25, 2018

Kay Jaybee, Part 2 — Podcast #80 — 09/15/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with Part 2 of my chat with the sensational author, Kay Jaybee, as we continue to investigate The Erotic Mind. Stick around, because we will be hearing from several world-class erotic artist in this new series of interviews.

As you recall from last week, Kay’s first book of erotica, The Collector, was published just last month (Austin & Macauley Publishers). This comes on the heels of seven previous anthologies featuring her work, as well as three upcoming volumes to be published later this year and in early 2009.

If you somehow missed Part 1 of this exciting interview, look for Podcast #79 in the Podcast Archive, in the sidebar to the right.

Kay and I discuss:

Writing for diverse audiences.
The importance of attending to detail.
How everyday words are transformed in an erotic setting.
Building anticipation as opposed to simply bumping parts.
Socially conscious erotica; is there such a thing?
How a suburban wife and mother becomes Kay Jaybee.
The dominance and submission theme in her writing.
What the future holds for Kay.
Tips for the novice writer of erotica.

Kay also serves up another juicy morsel of her own erotica.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you just need to blow off a little steam and talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

September 12, 2008January 8, 2013

Take A Deep Breath

Name: Jake
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: London
I have never had sex mostly because I have never managed to approach the person. I am bisexual and am desperate to have sex with a guy or girl. What are the best ways to approach someone for sex?

Can’t manage to approach a person for sex? Are you just really shy, or are you a total geek? Either way, my friend, you gotta get over yourself if you ever hope to get laid. And here’s a tip: perspective partners can smell desperation, like the kind you speak of, a mile away. And they will avoid you like the plague.

Ok, so you’re just 18 without a lot of experience in the ways of the world. Here’s what I tell everyone who asks me this question, regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. When it comes to asking for sex; the direct approach works best. Just so long as you’re not a dick about it. If you haven’t already discovered this, baggin a bird will probably take a bit more finesse than pokin’ on a bloke. And coming on to a mate demands a different approach than hittin’ up a stranger for a shag.

If there’s a bit of charm about you, your task will be considerably easier than if you are a crude Neanderthal who just wants to notch his belt. If you’re not sure what your selling points are, ask a friend for his or her feedback. If he or she tells you nice things bout yourself, you might be in luck. If he or she tells you that you’re a charmless creep, you’ll have your work cut out for you.

Regardless what group you fall into — the “maybe fuckable”, or the “not fucking ever”, you can always improve your image and hone your unique style. Look to how you present yourself; make sure you are groomed, clean and odor-free. Dress to impress. Stay clear of fancy or fussy, but do make it look like you gave your cloths a thought before you dressed yourself. Make yourself interesting; have a point of view, but share it sparingly. Develop a sense of humor about yourself. If you can’t be clever or witty, then keep your mouth shut for the most part.

The internet is a great place to test the waters. Dating and hook-up sites abound. Put up a profile…with a photo or two. Here’s a tip, save the dick pics for the queer sites. Women don’t want to see your pathetic willie, at least not right away. And like I said above, there’s nothing more unattractive to most women, or men, than a desperate fuck. Asking for what you want is good, pleading to be taken out of pity is not!

Few women are as casual about sex as are most men. So if a woman tells you no, she just may be shy, or not ready, or not sure. If a guy tell you no, it’s not the end of the world. He’s probably not into your type. Since there are so many fish in the sea, if you’re not immediately successful, move on. Sometimes getting laid is a situational thing. Being in the right place at the right time is helpful.

Chicks are gonna be concerned about the whole pregnancy thing. This is much more serious concern for a woman then for a dude. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and willing to practice at least one, you’re not ready to have sex. Sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for you both. Don’t be a fuck-up; always use a condom regardless of your partner’s gender.

If you’re dick is hard, it’s not the right time to talk about sex with a woman, but it might be the best time to hit up a dude. Women don’t necessarily like the lean and hungry look. Men tend to groove on it.

There are lots of different ways to have sex, so what might be appealing to one person may not be to another. Hand jobs and/or blow jobs are often more easy to cum by than full-on fucking with both birds and blokes.

In the end, there no standard way to ask for sex, but if you treat a prospective partner, regardless of gender, with respect, honesty, and patience, you can be sure whatever words you use will be more effective than if you’re an uncouth lout.

Name: Nita
Gender: female
Age: 40
Location: South Africa
I recently had abdominal surgery to remove a cancer. I’m recovering pretty well, and the prognosis for my future is also pretty good. But I am noticing two problems. The surgery left a really big scar. It’s still not fully healed yet, but I can tell it’s always going to be ugly. And my belly is really misshapen now. I felt pretty okay about my body before hand, but this scar really makes me look really unattractive. Also, my sex drive has completely gone away. I used to be a pretty sexual person, but now nothing excites me. Would you say this is normal?

How long ago was your surgery, I wonder? It’s got to be pretty recent, if you say the incision is still healing.

Darlin’, may I suggest that you’ve been through quite a trauma — a cancer diagnosis, recent surgery and all. This would throw anyone for a loop. I’d be willing to guess you’ve not had the proper time to process all of this. It comes as no surprise to me that your libido has gone south. I wouldn’t expect otherwise.

If you’re still healing on the outside, you know for sure your insides have a much longer way to go. You’re probably still feeling some discomfort, right? That’s enough to put the kibosh on sexual interest right there. You’re body is consumed with the job of healing itself. It probably hasn’t any energy to spare for sex. And why have a libido if ya can’t be sexual, right? So you see, your body is actually protecting itself and concentrating on the task at hand.

Maybe at this point in your recovery a little pampering would be better for you than a pursuit of sexual pleasure. Long luxurious baths will help soothe the tension, as well as giving your easy access to your fine pussy. Even folks with no discernable libido find touching themselves enjoyable. And just to keep your head in the game, even though you’re sitting on the sidelines, you could read some erotica or watch some sexy smut.

Some modest exercise like walking or swimming can perk up the libido too. Treat yourself to an erotic massage. Let a pro get his or her hands on you and make you glow. This may also help bring back some of the sensitivity to areas effected by the surgery. One things for sure, doing something is better than doing nothing but sitting there wondering what’s up.

An invasive and disfiguring surgery will always have a profound effect on one’s body image, which goes without saying. Feeling unattractive because of a scar? No doubt about it, it’s a bummer. But here you are writing to me about it, instead of napping six-feet under. So I guess the scar is not the worst thing that could have happened, right? As you probably know, I’m hearing from a number of my country’s war vets returning home with shattered bodies and lives. My advice to them is what I offer you now. Move through the scar’s impact…with a therapist if need be. And find within yourself the other things that make you beautiful, attractive, alluring and desirable. Who knows, you might luck out and find a scar fetishist out there who will worship you for what you find loathsome.

Embracing and then moving past your scaring will open you to find the myriad pleasures your body can still provide you and others. So while your body works on healing itself, your mind can do likewise. No need to have two scars, on one your belly and another one on your psyche. In the end you may find that flaunting your scar, like some women do with their mastectomy scars, will liberate you from feeling unattractive. After all, that scare and misshapen abdomen are your red badges of courage, honey. Not only do they make you distinct, but also they testify to you being a survivor.

Name: David
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Location: New York, NY
This is a rather disgusting question. I am a gay male who prefers to be the bottom. The trouble is that even if I perform an enema right before sex, I still seem to get some excrement onto my partner’s penis during sex. It just seems that the feeling of the motion back and forth inside of me causes a sensation that makes something come out. The odor is, at times, unpleasant and I, of course, am mortified. I wonder if this is a common problem and if there is anything else I can do to PREVENT this from happening?? Could it perhaps be my diet? Do I need to drink more water?

YIKES! You sound like a real attractive guy, David. Just kidding!

If you are douching properly before the butt fucking there shouldn’t be much seepage if any. Maybe you’re not taking care of business correctly. Or maybe you need to douche twice. Or maybe you’re being fucked too hard. I know that a vigorous fucking will introduce more air into the bottom’s rectum expanding it and making for that “OMG, I gotta take a dump” feeling.

I understand you being mortified; a smelly dirty fuck is no fun for anyone. That being said, you have to realize your bowels are working properly, so it’s not their fault. Just remember, there will inevitably be some unpleasant side effects when rootin’ around in someone’s hole, regardless how fastidious the bottom is about his hygiene.

I’m not sure I see the connection between diet and hydration and messy fucking, but hell, I’d try just about anything to keep from embarrassing myself when my toes are pointed to jesus!

Name: Ken
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: Seattle
I recently went to get a massage with a “happy ending” As soon as the girl started to fondle me I came and I did not even have an erection yet. I never have this problem with my wife or past girlfriends. Why did this happen? It sure cost a lot of money for about five minutes with this “lady”. Thanks

Well, let’s see…either this “masseuse” (and I use that term very loosely) was amazingly talented, or you were just real nervous about doing this naughty thing with someone other than your wife.

Hmmm, I bet it was the later.

Here’s a tip, always get the massage first…before the happy ending. If the first thing that happens is the happy ending, then you got gypped, darlin’!

Name: Marion
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I’m 34 and single. After 15 years of unsuccessful dating, searching for the right guy to marry and raise a family with, I decided to go it alone. I’m 2 months pregnant through artificial insemination. You’ll love this; the donor is my best gay pal. I am absolutely delighted and cherish the thought of finally being a mother. While a lot of the guys I’ve been dating aren’t father material, they are great sex and I don’t want to continue to enjoy their company. I gather that it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy. But is there anything I should avoid? Are there specific sexual positions that better suit a mommy-to-be like me?

Hey, congratulations on the bun in the oven, darlin’. And how true about some men being great in the sack, but not desirable husband and/or father material. I know several gay men who have helped out a long-suffering straight and lesbian friends with the whole breeding thing. Us “mos” are so selfless in that regard. 😉

It’s difficult to find accurate and unambiguous information about sex during pregnancy that doesn’t have a decidedly sex-negative bias to it. For the most part, our culture promotes the message that sex is primarily for procreation. Why then would any responsible mother to be continue to have sex if she’s already knocked up? You can see where a lot of the misconceptions, misinformation and scare tactics come from, huh?

So let’s see if we can shed some light on this for ya. As a pregnancy advances, the fertilized egg grows into an embryo and then into a fetus. The fetus is encased in and protected by the amniotic cavity. This provides the fetus nourishment and protects it from infections. A thick layer of mucus seals the cervix further isolating the fetus in the mother’s uterus.

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, as do most women, then there is no reason to alter your sex life during your pregnancy. Since this is your first, you’ll not know this, but a woman who has a history of premature birth may be advised by her physician to abstain from partnered sex during the last three months of pregnancy. In the same way, a woman with a history of miscarriage will probably be advised to avoid partnered sex in the first trimester. Only women with high-risk pregnancies might be advised to avoid sex for the full term of the pregnancy.

Nature provides all protection the fetus needs in its mother’s uterus. So you don’t need to worry about semen or vaginal fluids coming into contact with the baby. And the mucus seal on your cervix does not allow a penis to come in direct contact with the fetus either. Which dispels several misconceptions right there, don’t cha know.

In terms of pregnancy related sex, I suspect that your libido will probably play a more determining role in your availability for sex than you capacity to have sex. Your libido will no doubt fluctuate during your pregnancy, which may have a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations. Increased blood circulation in your pelvic region will heighten sensations, but you may find your body feels too heavy to fully enjoy sex.

Most men will love your bigger tits and fuller hips, but sometimes an overriding concern to avoid any exertion on the uterus or in the vagina makes partnered sex too cumbersome.

Sex during pregnancy, like sex after menopause, is free of worry about contraception, which makes sex more enjoyable for some. While others are too busy anticipating the new addition to be much interested in sex at all.

In terms of sexual positions, you’re gonna be the best judge of that. No position is automatically ruled out, but as your pregnancy progresses you’ll find some positions, like the missionary position, will be uncomfortable. One of the best positions might be the woman on top position. Sometimes known as the Cowgirl position. This position takes all of the pressure off of the woman’s abdomen, and also allows her to control the speed and the depth of thrusting.

And if you are a fan of anal sex; that will continue to be a terrific option throughout your pregnancy, particularly doggie style. Some pregnant women claim that butt fucking actually helps soothe their pregnancy induced hemorrhoids. In your final weeks mutual masturbation may be the easiest option as well as the most satisfying sexual outlet.

Good Luck ya’ll

September 8, 2008June 25, 2018

The Erotic Mind of Kay Jaybee — Podcast #79 — 09/08/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a remarkable show in store for you. Today, we inaugurate a brand new series of interviews called The Erotic Mind. Because of all the amazing feedback I got after my interview with Samantha and Jordan over at Oysters & Chocolate, I realized that my audience has a powerful hunger for all things erotic.

So I thought to myself; Ok, how can I help satisfy that craving? That’s when I came up with the clever idea to interview noted erotic artists. In doing so, I figured we’d uncover something of the creative process involved in the specialized art form.

This series will include all kinds of artists working in several different media.

To kick off our new series, I have the distinct pleasure of introducing you to a world-class artist who creates her erotica using the medium of words — Kay Jaybee.

Kay’s first book of erotica, The Collector, was published last month (Austin & Macauley Publishers). This comes on the heels of seven previous publications featuring her work, as well as three upcoming volumes to be published later this year and in early 2009. Stick around folks for this enormously entertaining, yet oh so informative, chat with one of the brightest stars in the erotic firmament.

Kay and I discuss:

Why the nom de plume?
Her very successful career and how it began.
The creative process and where she does her writing.
Packing her work with words that trigger erotic images.
Building tension one word at a time.

Kay also serves up a juicy morsel of her own erotica.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I’s like to take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on Dr Dick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related
goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as
well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

September 5, 2008January 8, 2013

Sport Fuck, Part 2

Look for my new Product Reviews!

REVIEW #18

Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew is back with their reviews of the remaining group of intriguing and oh so practical novelties from the pleasure-oriented folks over at Sportsheets.

The Dr Dick’s Product Review Crew introduces you to even more sexy fun products that will liven up even the most ho-hum sex life.

If you missed Sport Fuck, Part 1; look for it here.

Let’s check in with our intrepid reviewers.

The Under The Bed Restraint System $44.95
This turns your bed into a bondage playground. Simply slide the straps under any mattress, and position them around the bed to create various bondage possibilities.

Full review HERE

Sportsheets Chest Harness with Dildo $59.00
Give your partner a front row seat with this fun harness and dildo set. It’ll spice up your sex life with a little tease and pleasure right in front of your face.

Full review HERE

Sportsheets G-Spot Link $29.95
A black nylon strap with neoprene ankle cuffs that makes hitting the G-spot easier and more accurate than ever before. You can use this to tilt the hips and enter the vaginal canal or anus from a new angle making penetration deeper and more satisfying for everyone.

Full review HERE

Sportsheets Door Jam Cuffs $18.95
Just lay the weighted straps over door, close it shut. Turn any room into a playground for kinky bondage play! Tease or please, control or be controlled –– now it’s easy! Each thick nylon strap is connected to a detachable and adjustable velour-lined Velcro cuff. You get 2 cuffs in a package. Buy 2 pairs for total control!

Full review HERE

Lap Dancer Harness $44.95
Soft neoprene harness adjusts that wraps around your thigh and secures with Velcro. It holds a soft silicone dildo. Get your dollar bills ready for your private dancer.

Full review HERE

September 1, 2008June 25, 2018

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #78 — 09/01/08

[[Look for the podcast play button below.]
]
Hey sex fans,

I have a delightful show for you today. We have some scintillating Q&A and a toy review that I know you will definitely enjoy.

Lynn discovers some disturbing evidence in her son’s laundry.
Tyler is too young to worry, but he still does.
Stephani wonders if it’s gonna hurt the first time.
Jimmy wants to know about jelqing!

Finally, a Sex Toy Review!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I’s like to take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on Dr Dick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

August 18, 2008June 25, 2018

Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade, Part 1 — Podcast #76 — 08/18/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have another delicious interview show for you today. I am joined by two very beautiful and talented young women, Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade. Together they are the collective creative genius behind one of the best erotica sites on the web, Oysters & Chocolate; Erotic.

Don’t know Oysters & Chocolate from a hole in your head? Well then, you’d better mozie on over there right away and treat your senses to a virtual smorgasbord of erotic delights. Everything about this site will titillate and arouse…not just your naughty parts mind you, but your gray matter as well. They have stories, poetry, articles and galleries of art, illustrations and photography. Think of it as smut for the thinking person!

To spice up our show — yeah, like it’s not tangy enough with these lovelies speaking their mind — our guests will read aloud from some of their favorite erotica. Hot, Hot, HOT!

Jordan, Samantha and I talk about:

How their site got its name.
What is erotica.
How erotica differs from romance writing.
How erotica differs from porn.
Why society deals differently with the written word and visual depictions.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉

Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on D rDick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

August 13, 2008January 8, 2013

Running on Empty

I know things are a bit mixed up this week. Frequent visitors to Dr Dick’s Sex Advice will know that Wednesdays are traditionally Video Days on the site. But I have to veer off course this week. I have some questions to respond to and I can’t do my Q&A on Friday this week, as I usually do, because I have a swell Product Review scheduled for Friday.

Do you see how nutty things can get when you have more things to do than days to do them on? Anyhow, breaking with tradition every now and again is a good thing.

Name: lost angel
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: cali
Is the base of the penis behind the balls??? When I get hard my cock points kinda upward is this ok????

The base of your cock is not behind your balls. That’s what’s called your dick root. The base of your cock is where your cock meets your pubic bone on the dorsal (top) side of your johnson.

Having your boner point upward is as good as a place for it to point as any; and maybe better than some.

Name: Stephen
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: Va
As I have gotten older my sex drive has decreased tremendously. What can I do to turn it around?

Everyone’s libido decreases as he/she ages. There’s no gettin around that. However, a healthy lifestyle — good nutrition, maintaining your proper weight, getting an adequate amount of sleep, eliminating stress, modest alcohol and caffeine consumption and regular exercise will keep your sexual response cycle at its peek throughout your life. Simply put, the healthier you are; the more libido you will enjoy.

That being said, I am increasingly more optimistic about the use of herbal supplements to help us older folk stay in tip-top sexual condition. To that end, I’d like to turn you on to three products I am currently testing on myself — Ropex, GH and Onkor Energy. A full product review of Ropex and GH will appear on this site in time. But the Onkor Energy review is already available on the Product Reviews page. Look for REVIEW #14.

What I’ve discovered through my product testing and review is that not all herbal supplements are created equal. But you’ve probably figured this out on your own, huh? I’ve tried several similar products that were completely ineffectual. Others had unpleasant side effects.

Here’s something everyone should know. A lot of these “Male Enhancement” and herbal products are produced in China under dubious conditions. And everyone in the supplement industry will tell you, confidentially of course, that most of these products are adulterated with knock-off pharmaceuticals. And that’s down right dangerous for us all.

I confidently offer these three products to you, because they work for me. Just be assured that neither one of these products will not override a pathologically unhealthy lifestyle. Look to your personal health and wellbeing first. Supplement that if you must.

Hej from Sweden,
I am Mark and wanting advice regarding douching correctly. I am 100% bottom but for personal reasons I decided to give up sex for at least 1 year. NOW I have the horn again and I’m definitely in the mood! I am wanting to be sure that all is ‘clean’ down there before having my ass played with …..any advice on proper cleaning.
Great website BTW!
Hugs and blowjobs….
Mark x

Warm water is all you need. Never use soap.

Some men add lemon juice or vinegar (1-2 Tbs. per quart) of the warm water. Others dissolve (2 Tbs.) of baking soda in a quart of warm water.

Stay away from commercially produced douches; most contain harmful and irritating chemicals. And trust me, you don’t want that. Besides, all those over the counter douches are expensive. And all that packaging is definitely not eco-friendly. And we all want to be green perverts, don’t we?

Finally there is always the ever-versatile shower or bath bidet option. You can find one model, the Travel Shur Shot, in My Stockroom.

There are also stainless steel options that hook up to your shower head.

Name: Tommy
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Location: Ontario,CA
HI Dick : I had a problem keeping an erection when under the influence of crystal meth. It’s not that i wasn’t aroused. Is this common when taking speed?

Ahhh HELLO! Are you so new to the Tina scene that you’ve never heard the term — “Crystal Dick”? Holy cow! Time to wake up and smell the coffee, honey.

All tweakers will inevitably experience erection problems; some will be so serious that the guy will never recover. Tweakers will often try to compensate for this lack of wood by taking Viagra, or another erection enhancing drug. This is extremely dangerous because this combination will raise one’s blood pressure to dangerously high levels. Or one could experience a really long lasting hardon, that could actually permanently damage your rod.

You’ve probably heard the old adage: Meth Kills, right? Well, it true. While it may not be the death of you, per se. You can be assured that it will kill your sexual response cycle.

Name: jack
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Location: denmark
hey I’m a 26 year old male who has struggled with alcohol abuse for many years as a result my balls have shrunk I don’t know what to do but I’m nervous about having sex and have even thought of taking my life. I feel humiliated. Is there something I can do or can I learn to live with this? Will guys mind?

First off, congratulations on kickin’ the booze habit. My hat is off to you! If you can conquer alcoholism, you’re pretty much set up to handle anything life sends your way; including a case of shrunken nuts.

Don’t despair, my friend, no one’s gonna kick you out of the sack for havin’ marbles in the sack instead of eggs. Lots of men have smaller than usual testicles and it has nothing to do with alcohol consumption. It’s just a natural variation on size and shape.

No need to be self-conscious about something as trivial as ball size and lose sight of the fact that you’ve overcome one of the worst scourges known to human kind. You are a hero! Never forget that. And if the only scars you have to show for your valiant battle against demon alcohol is smaller cajones, then you’re luckier than most.

Get out there and learn to enjoy yourself again. You will soon find that most men will be attracted to you for your personal courage and tenacity. They won’t give a damn about the size of your balls.

Name: sami
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Pakistan
I have visit many website and read about the erectile dysfunction problems but I want to know some thing about my problem which I have with my penis and I have used too much medicine for this and this problem is with me more than 6 years. I m from Pakistan and here doctors not treat me well or they are not expert in erectile dysfunction.
I’m 25 year old now and single. The problem is that when ever I think about the sex or see any porn movie or chat with girl on sex topic then the drops like water come outside but its not like water its some juicy type and after this no erection come in my penis. And it cum soon without erection. I have used many medicines but to no avail. Please tell me about my disease what is this?
And when ever I try to do sex with girl then again this drops come very fast in early and after that no erection and I can cum after one minute using my hands. I have also problem of early ejaculation too. While when i sleep and get up in morning some time my penis is in full erection and full motion but whenever I think about sex these drops come and the erection finish of my penis. So please tell me in details about this disease. Diagnose it and tell me the medicine for this because I want treatment from online doctor not from the Pakistani doctors and also want to take medicine online imported one because in Pakistan also not available good quality and variety medicine. Thanks

Things sound like they are in a pretty sorry state there in Pakistan. That’s regrettable.

First up, if I understand you correctly, and that is a big “IF”; I’m gonna guess that you don’t need a doctor or medication. It appears to me that you are dealing with two distinct issues: 1) excessive precum and 2) premature ejaculation. Ok, let’s handle each one of these in turn.

You’ll find all the postings and podcasts I’ve done on the topic of pre-ejaculate by going to the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar and searching for the word “precum”. Basically, excessive precum is nothing more than a bothersome issue for most men who experience it. But it’s not a medical condition. And there aren’t any medications you can take to relieve the problem. Think of it as the equivalent of excessive sweating. There’s not a whole lot you can do about that either. Issues like these tend to clear up on their own as we age.

You’ll find all the postings and podcasts I’ve done on the topic of premature ejaculation by going to the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar and searching for the words “lasting longer”. Basically, a guy can easily learn to control his ejaculation response with a little effort on his part. These postings and podcasts contain detailed “how to” instructions on how to achieve this control. Again, this is not a medical condition. And there aren’t any medications you can take to relieve the problem.

Name: liza
Gender: Female
Age: 30
Location: tyne and wear
My boyfriend is a transvestite and just recently he has started taking fenugreek seed tablets and red clover blossom tablets do you have any ideas why? I am concerned that maybe he is wanting to become a woman full time could this be a possibility? Please help???

I think I’m a pretty wise and insightful guy, but I would never hazard a guess as to what might be going on in the mind of a drag queen…ever! 😉

I suppose the only way you will know for sure what he’s up to is to ask.

What I can say with some certainty is that most TV’s (transvestites) are not TS’s (transexuals), nor are they gender dysphoric. They just like frilly knickers!

I looked up the herbal supplements you mentioned and I didn’t find anything that would suggest a sex change in the offing. It’s more likely a case of dyspepsia.

Dear Dr. Dick,
I asked this question on the anonymous form but would prefer and
answer in my email.
I am concerned about my ED that I seem to have developed over the last
year or so. It could be the anti-depressants I am on but I have a
feeling it is Viagra. I have used Viagra for many years even when I
didn’t need it. It was just a guarantee that I could go all night. My
concern is that I have become dependent on it. When I don’t use it I
can get hard but it never last which is frustrating when with a very
hot bttm guy.
Hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, the use of antidepressants will surely impact, in a negative sort of way, one’s (both women and men) sexual response cycle, particularly the arousal stage. In your case, your ability to get and/or maintain an boner.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about the use of Viagra and its fellow drugs. You can find the postings and podcasts by going to the CATEGORY section in the sidebar of my site and search for Erection Enhancing Drugs.

Many men are becoming “hooked” on these drugs. I would seriously recommend that you not use these meds recreationally. I, for example, tend to rely on a cockring as opposed to a pharmaceutical.

You might also consider a high quality herbal supplement, like the ones I recommended to Steven up above.

Good luck ya’ll

August 11, 2008June 25, 2018

Nikol Hasler, Part 2 — Podcast #75 — 08/11/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I know you’ve all been dying for this, but keep your collective shirts on already, why don’t cha.

Without further delay, here’s Part 2 of my interview with the host of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, that darling of the internet tubes — Nikol Hasler.

Oh, and by the way, if you missed Part 1 of this interview, look for Podcast #74 in the Podcast Archive at the top of the sidebar to your right.

Nikol and I talk about:

A parent’s responsibility for the sex education of their kids.
Female masturbation.
Male masturbation.
The show’s enormous popularity.
Collaborating with her costars.
Being an unlikely sex educator.
The future of MWTSS.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail. Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉

Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on D rDick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

August 4, 2008June 25, 2018

Nikol Hasler, Part 1 — Podcast #74 — 08/04/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have another fantastic interview show for you today. I am pleased to bring you Part 1of my interview with the host of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, the ever so charming and delightful Nikol Hasler.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Midwest Teen Sex Show, here’s a tip. Get your butt over there and discover for yourself what the cutting edge of sex education looks and sounds like. The show is a kick ass, no holds bared, in your face and laugh out loud sketch comedy show that tackles some of the thorniest issues young people face today. And if you think you can pass this up because you’re all grown up; you have another thing coming.

The Midwest Teen Sex Show should be required viewing for everyone — young and old. Nikol and her costars deliver comedy that is both edgy and informative. And today, as part of our interview, we will be hearing snippets from the show so you can get a taste for what you’ve been missing.

Nikol and I talk about:

Being so out there about sex.
The person who inspired her to do the show.
Drugs, sex and alcohol.
Porn and what it tells us about sex.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on D rDick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

August 1, 2008January 8, 2013

Buzz Me In

Look for my new Product Review!

REVIEW #13

“Before we hear back from the two lovebirds, let’s take a closer look at this amazing device.

To say the WE-Vibe is unique is an understatement. It’s downright revolutionary. This insertable vibrator, crafted of medical grade silicone (no phthalates), is the first of its kind G-spot stimulator that can actually be used while fucking. That’s right, you heard me! The WE-Vibe is hands free, strap free and wireless! Once in place this discreet little wonder (3.25 inches long and 1 inch wide, weighing only 2 ounces) creates both internal and external stimulation during partner play; so both partners will experience the thrill, don’t cha know.

This is such a big deal for Dr Dick because I am forever hearing from women who are not receiving nearly enough stimulation during the old in and out. Their partners, of course, get off big time; but they are often left unsatisfied. They’re timid about stimulating themselves during the hump and they would never think of incorporating a traditional sized vibrator for fear it might alienate their man. It breaks my heart to hear stuff like that, but I do understand their predicament.”

…full review here

July 14, 2008June 25, 2018

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #71 — 07/14/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a great show for you today. It’s a total Q&A day, so buckle your seat belts, my friends; it’s gonna be a wild ride.

John gets the squirts when he swallows the spunk.
Karen is considering couple’s counseling.
Ron is deathly afraid that trying to blow himself makes him queer.
Steve is afraid his piss drinkin’ is gonna get him in trouble.
??? isn’t gettin’ laid because of his little wiener…or so he thinks.
JC wonders if he can live in a sexless relationship.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉

Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on D rDick Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

July 11, 2008January 8, 2013

byte ME!

Name: Todd
Gender: male
Age: 42
Location: OKC
Here’s one for you. Several months ago I had difficulty sleeping so I got a prescription for Ambian. I’ve been using it off and on for several weeks and it worked fine. But I think there are side effects. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and find the TV in my bedroom on and a porno in the DVD player. There’s lube and cum stains on my sheets, but I don’t remember a damn thing. I’ve heard of people sleepwalking, but not to this extent.

Some people don’t just walk in their sleep; they eat as well. And some people, like you, have sex in their sleep. As sleep disorders go, this is pretty extreme, but researchers are finding that abnormal nocturnal behaviors like eating, having sex, even driving a car may be a side effect of that popular sleep medication you’re taking.

You may be a parasomniac, someone who is prone to unusual sleep-related behaviors. Ambian may be aggravating and intensifying or triggering the condition. And curiously enough, there is such a thing as a sexsomniac.

Sexsomnia is an umbrella term for any sexual behavior (masturbation, taking dirty, even fucking) that happens while the person is asleep. The incidences of sexsomnia appear to be on the rise, but that might be attributed to growing public awareness.

As an aside, get this. — A surge in naked sleepwalking among guests has led one of Britain’s largest budget hotel groups to re-train staff to handle late-night nudity.

Travelodge, which runs more than 300 business hotels in Britain, says sleepwalking rose seven-fold in the past year, and 95 per cent of the sleepwalkers are scantily clad men. Isn’t that amazing?

The exact number of sexsomniacs is difficult to determine because it usually isn’t that much of a problem to warrant treatment or even reporting. Perhaps if you weren’t taking Ambien you wouldn’t have even known you were a sexsomniac.

I’m gonna guess, Todd, that you don’t share your bed with a regular partner, right? The reason I ask is that some sexsomniacs have been know to assault their partner, either in the form of non-consensual sex, or consensual sex that becomes disturbing or violent.

So it would seem that the best treatment for you would be to stop the Ambien. You might want to consider an herbal remedy for sleeplessness, one that doesn’t have as many unhappy and unwelcome side effects of this particular prescription med does.

Name: Zoe
Gender: female
Age: 25
Location: Boise
I learned how to masturbate when I was 12. From that first time I’ve loved how it makes me feel. No matter how good my lovers are; they never come close to the pleasure I feel when I’m touching myself. I like the intimacy I have with my boyfriend, but he’s not very good in the sack. I’ve been trying to get him to watch me masturbate, or we could masturbate together, so that he’d know how to touch me and make the bells ring. Unfortunately, he’s really straight-laced and he thinks my suggestion is perverted. He resists every time I bring it up. Sometimes after we have sex, I wait for him to fall asleep then get myself off. Is this selfish?

You betcha it’s selfish, selfish as all get-out. Not you, Zoe, but the bonehead you’re fuckin. This is a classic — “you can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” sorta deal. Only here we have a — “you can lead the horse’s ass to the mysteries of pussy, but you can’t make him appreciate them.”

I gotta ask, what’s a sexually enlightened chick, like you, doin’ with a bozo, like him? Do you actually think that he’s gonna magically come around one fine day and let you lead him to nirvana? I think not. You know why I think this? It’s because you’ve created a monster, an — “all I need to worry about is me gettin’ off in my girlfriend’s snatch” kinda monster. And that’s one fuckin’ scary monster.

I am of the mind that it’s fruitless to try to get an obstinate partner, like your guy, to do something he doesn’t want to do. The nagging alone will harden his resolve to resist. In the numbskull’s defense, he may be missing the point completely. He may not understand why you want him to watch you pleasure yourself. So if your agenda is to get him to be a better lover, you’re gonna have to come up with a new strategy on how to approach the big lug.

First off, he needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, that he’s not the Hercules in the boudoir he thinks he is. This is gonna sting his ego like crazy and it might very well be the end of him and you altogether. But I assure you, risking this is much better than maintaining the status quo. Because, with each passing fuck, he will be more convinced, then the fuck before, that he’s da man.

Once you burst his bubble, you’ll need to immediately inflate a new one for and with him. Us men folk can’t long survive without our illusions. Begin this inflation process by taking some responsibility for this predicament. Own up to keeping him in the dark about his lack of sexual prowess. Then tell him that there’s a very easy and fun fix for the problem. Maybe if he understands that you want to jill-off for him as a tutorial, he’d be more compliant.

I’d be willing to guess that if you made this presentation more of a game or a role-play scenario then a seminar he’d be more receptive. Why not try something like this. Introduce a blindfold into your sex play. Have him strip down to his jock for you, then blindfold him. It’s gonna be his job to get you off without using the magic wand he has stuck in his jock. The blindfold will necessitate that he use his hands (and mouth) to find and pleasure you. While you tease his dick inside his jock, guide his hands to your pussy. He’ll no doubt be fumbling around at first, so you’ll have to encourage him with some dirty talk, or actually use his hand to jill yourself off. Just remember keep it fun and playful and keep his dick safely tucked away.

You can see how this little exercise could be educational for him without being emasculating. Once he figures out that there’s more to sex than the old in and out, he might actually cum around, so to speak. Similarly, you might, on another occasion, submit to the blindfold yourself and have him use your hand to jack himself off. In time, you be able to do away with the blindfold altogether. But then, you might want to introduce restraints of some sort. While he’s buck naked and restrained put on a hot and horny show for him. Tease him with your self-pleasuring, but don’t let him touch you. Maybe rub yourself with his stiff cock. Since he’ll be unable to resist, it will be like masturbating yourself with his johnson. Doesn’t that sound like a load of fun for all concerned?

However, if the monkey resists even these sexy games; kick him to the curb and find yourself a new man that will appreciate your fine self.

Name: Alex
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Indianapolis
I noticed from your bio, dr dick, that you are a pornographer. How do you justify that? Isn’t pornography basically an insult to human sexuality? How do you square that with being a sex therapist and believing as you say that you affirm the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.”

Wow, Alex, you actually took the time to read my bio? I’m impressed. You bring up a very interesting point, albeit with a bit of a jab. You’re right, I am a pornographer. If that’s the only word you can come up with to describe what I do at Daddy Oohhh! Productions. I like to think that the adult material I produce is not in conflict with my basic, over all philosophy about human sexuality. BTW, thank you for quoting it as accurately as you did.

Admittedly, porn is a thorny issue in our sex-negative culture. Lots of people are hostile to the notion that there could actually be something uplifting and life affirming about the depiction, in any medium, of sexual behaviors. Lots of people believe that even nudity, let alone full-blown sex, is bad and that it corrupts the consumer, especially if the consumer is a youth.

I don’t happen to share that perception. But this is such a hot-button issue for most people that it’s very difficult to have a civil discourse about the place pornography has in our, or any other culture. Since we find it so difficult to talk about sexual things in the public forum; it’s no surprise that pornography, the public exposure of sexual things, continues to be a big bogyman for even otherwise enlightened people.

I hasten to add that, for the most part, the adult entertainment industry richly deserves the dubious reputation it has. There is an enormous amount content in the marketplace that degrades, dehumanizes and exploits. And I’m not just talking about the stuff that doesn’t suit my tastes. Because there’s a lot of good stuff out there that doesn’t particularly appeal to me.

Therefore, I caution you in your youthful zeal not to reject everything that depicts sexual behavior as worthless just because a good portion of it is indeed shameful junk. That would be like discarding all religion because a good portion of its practitioners degrade, dehumanize and shame those who don’t share their belief system.

You apparently also think there is an inherent contradiction between being a sex therapist and a pornographer. I don’t agree. For over 25 years I’ve been involved in all sorts of cutting-edge sex education and sexual enrichment projects. So why not attempt to bring a fresh, healthier perspective to adult entertainment. Sounds like the perfect role for a sexologist to me.

Humans have been depicting sexual behavior, in one fashion or another, since we were able to scratch images on the walls of our caves. Some of these depictions are intended to titillate, others to educate, even others to edify, but all are expressions of the passions of the person who scratched, painted, wrote or committed to videotape the images they did. And let’s not forget that in more sex-positive societies than our own, sexual practices were and are integral parts of worshiping the deity.

I think that if you were really interested in getting to know my thoughts about pornography, you’d do well to check out some of my work. I am so proud of the work that I do that I put my real name on all my products.

Porn, like most forms of human expression, can be both gold and dross. And maybe, just maybe, we need the crap in order to appreciate the treasure. The definition of what is ‘pornographic’ changes with the times. Community standards also play a part. A lingerie catalog that showed women in bras and panties is ‘pornographic’ in some place, but be no big deal in others.

Also today’s porn maybe tomorrow’s art. A lot of stuff that hangs in the Louvre museum today was, in its day, considered scandalous and pornographic. Happily, we do evolve.

I argue that there is a purpose to sexual depictions, smutty or otherwise. I mean, why else would such depictions be so pervasive and appear in every culture and in every age. And it’s not just because it’s art. Most pornography, by its very nature, is decidedly not art. So if it ain’t art, per se, what the fuck is it? Most pornography is simply designed to arouse sexual desire. And that, generally speaking, is a really good thing. It’s precisely this very pursuit that probably brought you, young Alex, to my site in the first place. Am I correct?

Sexual desire can stimulate an array of thoughts and behaviors from tender, intimate, and passionate to raw, fierce, and cruel. The mood of the consumer also plays a part. If your libido is raging, you might find a certain depiction stimulating. While the same depiction can cause disgust when your hormones are more in check.

Porn tends to show what people fantasize about, rather than what actually happens in the lives of most people. And just so you know, everything is exaggerated in pornography, body parts, sexual situations as well as sexual responses. Everything is staged and a lot of it is faked. Exaggeration is a time honored way of calling attention to something that is otherwise pretty mundane…like sex itself.

In the end, Alex, you will have to decide for yourself what merits pornography has, if any, in our culture. I suggest, however, that you approach porn with a slightly more dispassionate eye than you are currently using. You may find that it has something to teach you about yourself, your culture, as well as the history of human kind.

Good luck ya’ll

July 7, 2008June 25, 2018

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #70 — 07/07/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We have a big sweet load of very stimulating questions from the sexually worrisome. I, of course, respond with an equal number of clever, resourceful and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

Pete is rubbin’ his dick the wrong way!
Heater is no longer into her husband of 10 years.
Scott gets nauseous when someone thinks he sexy.
Afeisha can’t cum with a partner.
Grant wants to pump himself a big one!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.
Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉
Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on DrDickSexAdvice.com. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.

From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and
enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Access Instructional Media.

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