Tag Archives: Intimacy

Short and Sweet

Here are a few more questions from the Anonymous Submission Bin.

  • May I remind you that it’s just as easy to call in your questions. Visit the The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. It’s a toll-free number and phone calls go directly to voicemail. Phone submissions are also more likely to show up in one of my podcasts…and you do want to be famous, don’t you?

Name: Jane
Gender: Female
Age: 43
Location: TN
I have been dating the same guy for 2 and half years. I have never had a guy not go down on me. But this guy will not get even get close to my vagina with his tongue. He loves me to give him a bj and sometimes I do it for hours making him feel good. I am far from ugly. I even have a boob job. I just don’t understand this.

Jane, your man is pussy-phobic. I’m surprised you haven’t run into his kind before. There’s a shit-load of them out there.

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It’s a masculine thing for some guys; they absolutely will not eat out a girl no matter what. It’s not like they tried it a couple of times and just don’t like it; they simply won’t fuckin’ try it because they’re manly men. Don’t ya just love it?

Jane, if you’re blowin’ this dude and he’s not reciprocating with some mighty fine cunt-lappin’; then you’re the fool, not him. He ‘s getting everything he wants and there’s no reason for him put out for you. Men are pigs, dear. So if you’re looking for more mutuality in the sex department, lay down the law. In the immortal words of Hannibal Lecter; “Quid pro quo, Clarice! Only don’t call your man Clarice.

Good Luck!

Name: nick
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Location: home
Is it ok to swallow your own cum?

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Yep, it’s perfectly fine. In fact, I recommend it…especially if you want your partner to swallow. Every man should know what his spunk tastes like, if you ask me. And before you ask; no, eating your own cum will not make you queer. Eating your own spooge and LOVING IT…that makes you gay. Just kidding!

If the idea of you ingesting your own seed disgusts you, as it does so many unenlightened men out there, then don’t go trying to feed it to anyone else. That would just indicate that you’re trying to denigrate partner with your cum, not gifting it to him and/or her.

Good Luck!

Name: Brian
Gender:
Age: 38
Location: UK
I like to jack off using other guys’ spunk. Is this risky?

Let’s review something I said in my first podcast. There is some risk involved with everything we do.cum_geyser9.jpeg

In that podcast, I initiated a little code — you know, like the festive rainbow colored homeland security codes we’ve all come to know love. I’ll be referring to this code a lot, so it bears repeating. The Dr Dick Health Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.

Now back to you, Brian. Dr dick is gonna label jerkin off with another guys jizz — Advised . Cum, as we all know, can transmit the HIV virus if it’s present in the host. However, there’s virtually no risk for HIV transmission unless you have abrasions on your dick. And if you do have abrasions on your cock, you need to give your johnson a break till you heal.

Good Luck!

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #02 — 02/19/07

Hey sex fans,

This week we visit with

  • Jim from Sidney needs to get a life.
  • Maria gets spooge on her boobs!
  • Sexy Veronica puts down her Chester.
  • Doug recalls a boyhood stiffy.

And finally, a Sexual Enrichment Moment

  • Bottoming Out — 101

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Don’t forget The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the toll free voicemail number is (866) 422-5680.

Dr Dick is now on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section under the heading — Health, subheading — Sexuality. Search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. Don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is brought to you by The Free Speech Coalition.

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Strangers In The Night, Part 1

And now, we turn our attention to our first crop of anonymous submissions.

Name: MIke P
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself. Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage. She always needs porn. I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. I have to pay her rent — pay for her food, pay everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?

Hey Mike,Time to wake up, fella! Your “girlfriend” — and you notice I put that inlesbian_tickle.jpg quotes — is decidedly not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any man’s girlfriend. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coozie-lovin’ lesbitarian. All that’s really left for her to do to make the picture perfectly clear…even to you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a plaid flannel shirt. Holy cow, mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?

Listen, bub, it’s clear to me, you’re excess baggage. She keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.

Should you leave this woman, you ask. Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one. She’s long gone and left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually. All that’s left for you to do is find the door and say good-bye to this embarrassing situation.

Good luck!

Name: leslie
Gender:
Age: 46
Location: Brisbane
Will bicycling make me impotent?

YIKES Leslie, what kind of bike riding are you doing that would put such a notion in your head?

img_6549.JPGMy initial response to your question, of course, was a wisecrack. “Sure, bike riding will make you impotent if you get your balls caught in the spokes. Throw those things over your shoulder when you ride, for christ sake!”

Then I thought to myself, “Wait, what does Leslie mean by impotent?” I know lots of people confuse and/or conflate the two very different concepts of impotency and sterility. So maybe this is an opportunity to sort this out some.

Impotence is characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection. And I suppose extreme bike riding, like the kind I see on TV, could possibly cause this condition. Especially, if you were knocking your cock around enough to cause your darling little willie serious injury.

Male sterility, on the other hand, is the inability of the male reproductive system (a guys’s balls, basically) to produce enough (or even any live) sperm for the purpose of impregnation. The reason I bring this up is, I know fertility specialists are very concerned about men wearing tight-fitting underwear and pants for long periods of time. (We used to call these cheap hotel pants — there’s not ballroom! Get it?) Tight fitting garments elevate a man’s balls to the base of his pelvis, which in turn increases the temperature in his balls. Too much heat kills our little juniors, don’t cha know!

The reason evolution designed our gonads to reside outside our bodies and actually hang off of and away from our bodies is so that all our cute little sperm buddies can stay relatively cool and comfortable till they blissfully shoot out of our dick into a vagina, ass-hole, condom or Kleenex.

Tighty-whities and all such things, particular those obscenely clingy Spandex — which is basically plastic — making things even hotter — bike shorts are notorious sperm killers! So in a way, Leslie, yes, biking can make you sterile if not impotent.

Good Luck!

PS: take a look at this: http://www.travelblogs.com/dougdo/world_naked_bike_ride.htm

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Sex Is…

#1 Sex is like food. You can enjoy it alone, or with others. You can be an ascetic, or a glutton. You can nosh or nibble; dine or devour. There will be both feast and famine.

#2 Sex is like food. It can nourish and sustain you, or it can make you sick. You can consume all of the available bounty, or restrict your diet. It can be both bacchanal and sacrament. It can completely satisfy, or leave you devastatingly empty.

#3 Sex is like food. You can use it to express your highest aspirations, or allow it to rob you of your soul. You can give it as a gift, or use it as a weapon. It can fill your senses or simply be an exercise of the mind.

#4 One thing is for sure, whether it is purely physical or transcendently spiritual, no one can live without food…or sex.

Body Image Blues

Happy New Year everyone!

Did ya’ll survive the holidays? Dr. Dick just barely made it through this annual ordeal by the skin of his teeth. The holidays are supposed to bring out the best in folks, right? Then, what’s with all the lunatic behavior this time of the year?

Leave it to all the wretched holiday hype to spike our self-critical nature. Just when ya thought it was safe to take a peek in the mirror, along come those age-old bugaboos to scare ya back into the closet of self-doubt. Consider this month’s grab bag of frightened souls.

Hey Dr. Dick –
I’ve always had a low self-image. Then about two years ago I decided to do something about. I began going to the gym regularly and eating better. It paid off…now I have a better image of myself and have been dating more. Imf_nipple.jpg am seeking a LTR but only seem to met and slept with unavailable women. I’m starting to turn this back on myself…sure now I’m good enough to sleep with, but not have a relationship with! Thoughts?
K in NYC

Dear K,
You’re looking for a LTR and you’re sleeping around with unavailable women? Darlin’, what do you suppose is wrong with this picture?
Dr. Dick suspects that you still need to do some serious work on the self-image thing. I applaud your efforts to get in shape and eat right. Good for you! However, heaping recriminations upon yourself for your lack of success in the dating game, particularly while pursuing the unavailable, is downright self-defeating.
Rethink this strategy immediately.
Good luck,
Dr. Dick

Doctor Dick,
I only have one testicle. I was born that way. It has a huge effect on my self-confidence. I consider myself a good-looking guy and I work out at the gym to try and look and feel the best I can. But even so, whenever I meet a guy and we have sex, I am always terrified that when he notices, he’ll freak out or suddenly be turned off. Even though the guys I have been with (not that many) haven’t had a problem with it, I feel it is a problem. And also, I have trouble ejaculating—whether that is physiological or psychological, I don’t know.
I have two questions. 1) Would having only one testicle reduce my sex drive and make it harder for me to ejaculate? 2) I have pondered the idea of having a prosthetic testicle inserted (so at least I wouldn’t LOOK any different to other guys). Do you know much about this procedure and if it is safe?
Thanks very much
David

Dear David,

y1.jpg Whoa, aren’t you all tied up in a BALL of knots? (Big pun intended!)

You’re obsessing about something that apparently is of no consequence to your partners. Hey, if they don’t give a shit that you’re shy a nut, why should you?
Celebrate your uniqueness, instead of living in shame. Your “irregularity” is neither life threatening, nor is it particularly obvious.
Consider the great length some guys go to in an attempt to hide the “shame” of what they perceive as a personal inadequacy. Like the guy who wears a really terrible toupee (or any toupee for that matter) in an effort to mask his hair loss. Is this not completely ridiculous, not to mention counterproductive? I mean, doesn’t his folly call even more attention to the very thing he wishes to conceal?
I propose that it’s your anxiety about “being found out” that’s getting in the way of your sexual performance, not having just one testicle. Nor do I believe that it’s interfering with your sex drive. But I advise you consult your physician if you think you have a hormonal imbalance. A regular injection of testosterone will remedy that.
You ask about surgery; well, it’s a simple enough procedure. But there are always risks, like the possibility of infection for example. Besides, you’ll always know that one of your balls is a fake. And in time, you’ll probably begin to obsess about that, too.
David, this problem of yours can be solved in a less drastic and invasive manner than surgery. Choose self-acceptance over the knife and be happy.
Good Luck,
Dr. Dick

Dr. Dick:
I am writing because I am a very self-conscious person and am afraid to date anyone because of how I look underneath my good-looking clothes. I was born with problems that left scars and veins on my body, making my younger years hell. I am very self-conscious when it comes to wearing shorts, which I never wear, and being naked with someone. I want to be with someone and look normal, like all the other people. I enjoy looking and feeling good about myself, but when it comes to revealing my true identity I lose all confidence. I am afraid of rejection because I am different.
I want a boyfriend who hot and has a body to die for, but I don’t base my dating prospects on looks, but on personality. I know there are others out there with the same philosophy, but it is hard to see. What should I do? I want to meet someone and have fun, but I have this fear of being rejected and not being what they expect.
Jordan

Dear Jordan,
I can’t tell from your comments if you are a man or a woman. That’s actually a good thing, because my advice is the same regardless of your gender. Our society can be an.jpg heartless place for those of us who don’t fit the “ideal” of youth and beauty perpetuated by the popular culture. And it looks to me like you’re guilty of the same bullshit you accuse others of perpetuating. You want a lover who is physically perfect, but you don’t want others to discriminate against you for not being so. Aaaa, hello! If you allow this unhappy double standard to control your sense of wellbeing, you have only yourself to blame.
Throw off the shackles that ensnare you. They’re all self-imposed, not to mention self-defeating. Learn to accept yourself for who you are, with all your assets and liabilities. And you’d do well to be a little less of a snob where others’ looks are concerned.
Good Luck,
Dr. Dick

Dear Dr. Dick,
I’m an attractive, talented and fun loving guy who has never had a lover in the 23 years that I’ve been openly gay. Sure I get a lot of looks and flirtations but rarely from the ones I’m attracted to. It seems that unless you work out 4 to 5 times a week you’re not worth their time or attention. In fact, if you read personal ads you’ll find that the majority of them use that as a prerequisite. Mind you, I’m not flabby or out of shape, I’m just tall and thin (6’3″, 175#). This has made me very self-conscious about myself and in turn has produced performance anxiety. I find myself working so hard to please a man sexually that I can’t “get it up” to save my life. I joined a gym a couple of times. But after a year of religiously working out (both times), I never saw any visible improvement in my body so I stopped going. Another aspect of my frustration is the fact that I have been HIV+ for 12 years and I am developing the “skinny arms and legs syndrome” from my drugs. Sex has become a very complicated issue for me. Half the time I’m self-conscious about my body and the other half afraid of passing on HIV or getting some new sexual disease. Any advice?
Sex Fan

Dear sex fan,
n-1.jpg You bet I have some advice. In fact, if you’ve taken the time to read this far in this column, you already have a good idea of what my take on all of this is.
Some gay men have turned discriminating against other gay men into an art form. If it’s not about muscles, then it’s about age, race, HIV status, where one lives, the clothes one wears, the car one drives—the litany goes on and on. If you buy into this dehumanizing nonsense, as it appears you have, you do it at your own peril, darlin’! You give this ugly thing power over you, and it will erode what little self-confidence you have left.
Let me make a couple of quick comments. First, do you use the same superficial standards to measure potential partners that you say others reject you by? That’s a common enough scenario (check out the letter above). But this cycle of oppression needs to stop somewhere; why not with you?
Second, working to please a partner is a good thing. But taking it to an extreme is not. Obsessing about pleasing a partner, so much so as to let it interfere with your sexual performance, or worse, your mental health, is very dangerous.
Finally, fear, whatever its guise, will always and everywhere diminish your ability to pursue and enjoy your sexuality. I guarantee that being so afraid of getting or passing on a disease or being afraid of rejections because of your body type will cripple your sexual performance.
I suggest you begin 2004 by taking your fears, apprehensions and frustrations to a professional. A sex-positive therapist will help you overcome these stumbling blocks so that you can happily get on with the rest of your life.
Good Luck,
Dr. Dick

It’s my sincere hope that, with the dawn of the New Year, we’ll find the courage to scuttle all this self-defeating crap, and in doing so, make the word a much better place in which to live.

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