Science may have discovered a way to keep the spark alive long after the initial fireworks have faded
By Liz Connor
How do you rekindle the passion and improve your sex life in a marriage or long term relationship after the honeymoon period is over?
While magazine articles might advise candles, hot baths and music, a new study suggests that the answer may lie in the way that you treat your partner.
Psychology professor, Gurit E Birnbaum conducted a series of experiments, setting out to determine the best conditions for a healthy sex life, for both men and women.
The results of the study, which were published in the American Psychological Association Journal, found that the secret to optimum sex is all to do with the way you talk to your partner and respond to their emotional needs.
What women want? A sensitive partner
Birnbaum found that being responsive and empathetic to your partner’s wishes made them more receptive and open to spicing things up in the bedroom.
Researchers conducted three experiments in order to determine the factors that might affect sexual desire.
The first saw 153 couples discuss a positive or negative experience with their partner. Afterwards, they were asked to comment on how compassionate their partner was, and how much they wanted to have sex following the conversation
Following the trial, men’s interest in interest in sex remained the same, whether they were met with empathetic or completely unresponsive remarks from their partner.
However, women reported feeling a “greater desire” when talking to a sensitive partner, rather than an unresponsive one.
Another tip for turning on your SO? Don’t dwell on the depressing anecdotes
The second experiment asked the couples to discuss both positive and negative life experiences with one another, face to face.
The results showed that both men and women experienced heightened sexual attraction to their partner – but only when they were telling a cheerful story.
According to researchers, this may be because moaning about bad life experiences can render a partner less desirable – as you’re more likely to notice their personal weaknesses or stressors.
The most important thing for both sexes? Listen to your partner’s needs
The final experiment saw 100 couples complete a diary of their nights together for six weeks.
They were challenged to write down the quality of their relationship based on how their partner made them feel.
Both genders reported feeling ‘special’ if their partner was compassionate and responsive to their conversation, although the number of women who reported this was far greater than the amount of men.
While women may be more sensitive to their partner’s conversational hospitality, all three experiments concluded that both men and women who felt valued in their relationships had the highest level of desire for their partners.
In short, listening + empathy = sexual chemistry.
Time to put the bubble bath and Barry White on ice and start working on your best listening face…
Complete Article HERE!