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More of Luc Wylder – Podcast #230 – 09/15/10


Hey sex fans,

Luc Wylder is back with Part 2 of his SEX WISDOM podcast series appearance. Luc hasn’t rested on his porn laurels, no siree! He and his beautiful porn star wife, Alexandra Silk, are well on their way to becoming IPSA certified sex surrogates.  What a way to give back to the community, you guys! We hear all about this new adventure and more fascinating stories a la Luc.

But wait; did you miss Part 1 of our conversation that appeared here last week at this time? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in my Podcast Archive. All ya gotta do is use the search function at the top of the page type in Podcast #229 and VOILÀ! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Luc and I discuss:

  • Being married to Alexandra Silk;
  • Porn’s ethical footprint;
  • Swinging and Polyamory;
  • Workshops on keeping long-term relationships fresh and exciting;
  • Becoming an IPSA certified sex surrogate;
  • Hands-on therapy in conjunction with a verbal therapist;
  • Sensate focus exercises for staying in the sensual moment;
  • Sexual techniques can be taught and learned.

Luc invites you to visit him on his site HERE! And look for all his movies HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Sex Wisdom with Luc Wylder – Podcast #229 – 09/08/10

Hey sex fans,

The SEX WISDOM podcast series returns today with a bang. I have a remarkable guest on hand to speak to us about a wealth of topics, not least of which is his twenty-plus year career in porn. This podcast series, as you recall, brings us conversations with movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality — researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers — all who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.

If you know anything about pornography in general, and fetish porn in particular, you will immediately recognize the name Luc Wylder. He is a pioneer, a trendsetter, founder of the Fallen Angel brand, a performer, director and producer, the consummate male dominant and all-around wonderful guy.

I have to warn you though; today’s show is exceptionally long. It’s just that when Luc and I get to talking there is no stopping us. So kick back, put your feet up and settle in for an absorbing conversation that will provide you a unique historical perspective on the modern adult entertainment industry.

Luc and I discuss:

  • Being a pioneer in porn;
  • “The scene” in NYC in the mid 1970’s;
  • His filmography;
  • His film archive;
  • Deviant sex and the social fabric;
  • Being a parent/grandparent and being in porn;
  • Reality-based porn / the gonzo genre;
  • The diversity in his films;
  • My Dad’s Dirty Movies series;
  • Porn production and social responsibility;
  • Induction into the AVN Hall Of Fame;
  • The internet before .com;
  • The future of porn.

Luc invites you to visit him on his site HERE! And look for all his movies HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

 

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

 

A Labor of Love Q&A Show — Podcast #228 — 09/06/10

Hey sex fans,

It’s another holiday weekend here in the good old USofA. And despite the fact that so many of you are enjoying a well-deserved break from your labors; I am at my post here in front of this blasted microphone. I took a break from podcasting the past couple weeks so that I could work on the redesign of my sites. And of course, I gotta catch up on all the questions that have been piling up since our last Q&A session back in early July. There is no rest for the wicked!

Before we get to today’s questions, I want to call your attention to the new redesign of my two primary websites — drdicksexadvice.com and drdicksextoyreviews.com.

As you’ve probably noticed, both sites now mirror one another, at least in terms of presentation and functionality. The old blog format is out; and a brand-spankin-new magazine format is in. Everything is bright, cheery, clean and sleek. All the functions of the old sites — search-ability, the Links, the Categories, the Sponsors and the Tags are still in place. But the new magazine format allows visitors to quickly scan a thumbnail image and a blurb for each posting without having to scroll through the whole blasted posting to get to the next one. There is also a Headline posting and a handful of Featured postings. Now you can see several weeks of postings by just scrolling down a page.

There are other new features too. I decided to use a bunch of icons — a blue heart for Donate to Dr. Dick; a blue envelope for Ask an Anonymous Sex Question; and a blue telephone icon for the Toll Free — Voicemail — HOTLINE. There is a blue movie projector icon that designates the presence of a video in the posting. And Special Announcements are designated by a red and white “special announcement” icon.

The top navigation has been simplified too. You can toggle between the two sites effortlessly. If you are on the ADVICE site, click on Toy Reviews in the header. If you are on the REVIEW site, click on Sex Advice With An Edge. It’s that simple.

Dr Dick’s Stockroom and Dr Dick’s How To Video Library now have their own banner in the sidebar.

I hope you like all the new changes. And as always, your thoughts and comments are welcome.

Today we hear from:

  • Scott Daddy tells us about his new videos posted HERE.
  • Brennen is off his antidepressant and he’s having trouble with his wood.
  • Marcus wants to know about nipple enlargement.
  • Kimberly thinks her man might like some ass play.
  • Ali wants two more inches…guess where.
  • Jade is all hot and bothered.
  • Luke is using penis extenders and he and his wife love it.
  • Abigail wants to make her own sex toys.
  • Kevin wants to know if it’s safe to spooge on a pussy not in it.
  • Jennifer has been gettin plowed deep and heavy; now there’s a problem.
  • Craig is worried about being a dirty fuck.
  • Patrick thinks his “lace curtains” are too long.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Manhandled

Hey sex fans,

We’re back, and we’re sliding into Labor Day weekend, after a couple weeks off, with a couple of swell reviews. Today’s edition of Product Review Friday will be comin at ya in just a second. But first I want to make sure that you’ve all noticed the totally new look of my REVIEW site. It has a brand-spankin-new magazine format that mirrors this, my ADVICE site.

All the functions of the old site — search-ability, your favorite reviewers, the Categories section and Tags are still there, just like on this site. But now you can quickly scan a thumbnail image and a blurb for each review without having to scroll through the whole damn review. There is also a Headline review and a handful of featured reviews. Pretty gal-darn sweet, huh?

Today’s products come to us courtesy of our good friends at Adult Sex Toys .comDr Dick Review Crew members include — Jack & Karen and Greg.

Anal Invader With Cock Cage —— $15.35

Jack & Karen
Jack: “Probably ya’ll know I’m still pretty new at the whole butt sex, right? I’ve been experimenting with several toys and I am discovering that I really like butt plugs.”
Karen: “I got a very nice strap-on that I get to use on this man’s tush every now and again. And I have to tell you, it is a fuckin turn on.”
Jack: “It’s true; she gets off on being the top. I mean, who could blame her? So when I’m in the mood to get pegged, I warm myself up with one of my plugs and it’s pretty much smooth sailing from there.”
Karen: “He can wear a plug for hours prior to my ass-ault.”
Jack: “The newest addition to my growing collection is the Anal Invader With Cock Cage. It’s made of black latex. (If you have a latex allergy, this toy is definitely not for you.) It’s 4.5″ long with an insertable length of just over 3″. A super-sized bullet vibe slips into the base and it is powered by one AA battery. (Battery not included.) A dial on the base of the vibe controls the vibration intensity. This dial setup is only ok; it isn’t the ideal controller for a butt plug.”
Karen: “Tell them about the cock cage part.”
Jack: “Oh yeah! Honestly, I couldn’t get into this…both literally and figuratively. It seemed to me to be a completely unnecessary addition to the butt plug. Besides, it’s one of those, ‘one size fits all’ set ups and it was both awkward and uncomfortable. In the end, I wound up cutting the cage doohickey off and just using the plug.”
Karen: “You also said that with the cage attached, the plug pointed the wrong way in your bum, right?”
Jack: “That’s right! The plug is supposed to hit my prostate, but with the cage attached, the head of the plug pointed away from my P-spot. But the gradually increasing sized bumps on the plug are great for warming yourself up for the full insertion. And once you have it fully inserted it stays in place nicely, as any good butt plug should. I love walking around with a plug in my ass. It makes me super hard.”
Full Review HERE

Naughty Boy Blue —— $68.41

Greg
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a fantastic toy, the Naughty Boy. Made by the same people who gave us the Rude Boy. Look for Dr Dick’s review of that puppy HERE!

The Naughty Boy is officially my new favorite ass play toy. Mine is blue, but it also comes in black. It has a very masculine design; it provides a very nice prostate massage as well as perineum massage. The one-speed bullet vibe in the base is powered by a couple of those small round watch batteries (the first set comes with the toy). They do a pretty good job delivering the sensations I am looking for in an anal toy. It has a very modest insertable length of just over 4″ with a slender diameter that starts out not bigger that your middle finger. This flairs slightly to a bulge of just over an inch. It’s great for an ass play beginner. But it also works for me, and I’m no novice to anal insertions, I can tell you.

The things I like most about the Naughty Boy is that it is made of 100% silicone and it is waterproof. Both of these features are really important to me. I don’t like sticking anything in my ass that is not of the highest quality. So silicone is the material for choice for me. It is soft and pliable, phthalates free, hypo-allergenic and latex free. And since this is a toy that goes where the sun don’t shine, it is essential that I have the ability to clean and sanitize it. I’m able to do this with soap and hot water, and then wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

Be sure to use a lot of lube for anal insertions of any kind. And in this case, only water-based lube will do. A silicone-based lube will degrade this beautiful silicone toy; and you don’t want that.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

The Open Relationship Model

Podcasts will resume next Monday, September 6th.

Deviating from the norm. Is it worth it?

Since the launch of the Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series in early 2009; I’ve been hearing from a lot of people who are considering opening their relationships to include additional partners to augment their primary relationships. People point to the increasing media attention polyamory is garnering as a way of justifying their interest.

It’s true; polyamory is enjoying an efflorescence in popular culture these days. But this mirrors the spike in interest that swinging had a couple of decades ago. This suggests to me that there is a fissure at the foundation of the dominant relationship model of the monogamous heterosexual, reproductive pair. All the sociological underpinnings of why our culture promotes this paradigm aside, I think it is undeniable that there is a level of dissatisfaction on the part of many who initially bought into this model as the only way to live, love and raise small herds of children. But is it?

People may feel trapped in the traditional expression of a committed relationship. But while they may be second-guessing the party line, they are equally wary of throwing open the doors in a haphazard way, and rightfully so.

I’ve been reading a lot about polyamory lately. It seems it’s the topic du jour in all the women’s magazines. Do open relationships really work?
—Cameron

For starters, the viability of an open relationship depends on the maturity level of the people who are considering opening up their sexually exclusive relationship. And how much they’re willing to work at communicating with one another through all the little details that such a decision entails. One thing for sure, I am willing to go on record to say that the devil, in this case, really is in the details.

That being said, there are a few things us sex researchers know for sure. In most cultures, people claim to practice sexual exclusivity, which is commonly referred to as monogamy. Although I think that’s a misnomer. Monogamy literally means having one union, which as we all know tells us nothing about the sexual expression either or both partners are supposedly sharing in.

Lifetime sexual exclusivity (being sexually involved with only one person for one’s entire life) is rare. Serial sexual exclusivity (having a series of exclusive relationships over one’s life) is much more common. And despite knowing that we humans do not mate for life, we continue to presume that sexual exclusivity, or monogamy is the only legitimate form of coupling.

This, unfortunately, leads to our culture’s obsession with cheating—that is, having sex with someone outside of a monogamous relationship. And frankly, what I know about humans, human relationships and human sexuality; I can say for certain that fidelity is not necessarily a genital issue. One can indeed be faithful to someone else and still have the freedom to express him/herself sexually with others. It happens all the time. In these cases, fidelity is to the relationship and the agreements, parameters and boundaries mutually agreed upon by the partners. Which gets me back to my opening comment about the need for communication. Of course, it’s much easier to presume that everyone in a relationship is working under the same rubric, but that kind of presumption is a fool’s paradise.

Another shortcoming of setting up sexual exclusivity or monogamy as the only legitimate type of coupling is that it diminishes all the other types of relationships that flourish, albeit in a more covert way. And here I’m talking about an array of open relationship models—and polyamory. The fact that we’re only now hearing about these non-traditional relationships shouldn’t suggest to you, or anyone, that they don’t exist; or that they aren’t practical alternatives to the traditional monogamous model, or that they aren’t practiced by a lot of people. They do and they are! It just means that most people in non-traditional relationships know not to go public in a society that would denigrate them for their lifestyle choices. That’s how things are here in the good old US of A; and I’ll wager it’s also true for the rest of the world. Am I right, or am I right?

Open relationships and polyamorous relationships work because the people in them adhere to some basic tenets about how to conduct themselves.

First among them is the notion that these alternative relationships must be chosen; they can’t be mandated. If one or another of the persons considering an open or poly relationship is being pressured to go along with the flow, or is fearful that he/she will be alone if he/she doesn’t comply with the will of the other(s). That kind of emotional duress will not work.

Each person in the relationship needs to take responsibility for the choices he/she is making. If you’re not up for the task, or if this kind of arrangement is not compatible with your personality type, don’t attempt to override that. You will only jeopardize the relationship for the other(s) involved. However, if the idea appeals to you, give it your best shot. I can guarantee that it will be a learning experience. Just remember, exploring something and having it carved in stone are two very different things.

Second, communication is key. The more complex the relationship structure, the greater the need for open lines of communication. Know your boundaries and express them clearly. Ask questions; never assume you know something when you don’t.

Third, know yourself! You must be able to deal with your emotions, particularly jealousy, in an up-front, adult way. This is often much easier said than done. If you need to be the center of attention just so you can feel good about yourself, or you have serious territorial issues—this is mine, this is mine, and THIS is mine!—then alternative relationship models are probably not for you.

Know what keeps you even keel in terms of what you need and what you are able to give. There has got to be a healthy tension between these two things. If you’re the kind who gives too much and resents not being rewarded for your gifts, stay away from alternative relationships. Or if you are so needy that you can’t stand it when someone else is enjoying his/her time in the sun; open or poly relationships are decidedly not for you.

You should also know that alternative relationships, of whatever stripe, are, for the most part, on the fringes of what society will accept. And some are outright taboo. This doesn’t mean you will have to slug it out on your own in a vacuum of support. On the contrary, you will, no doubt, find that the people who are living contrary to the expectations of the popular culture are often a whole lot more generous with their support and compassion then those following all the rules.

You will find that your support system will shift from more traditional sources like traditional family, church and community to alternative sources like clubs and social groupings of other like-minded individuals as yourself. A common mistake made by those in non-traditional relationships is to take their problems and issues to their traditional support systems. This rarely works because the traditional support system will inevitably blame the non-traditional relationship setup for the problem. This is not true, of course, but how would those in traditional relationships know otherwise.

I always suggest that those in non-traditional relationships bring their issues to a non-traditional support system. Here you are less likely to encounter judgments about your life choices and more help with overcoming the problems at hand.

In the end, it’s your call. Are the potential rewards as well as challenges associated with an open relationship worth taking more than the voyeuristic peek behind the curtain that the women’s magazines provide you?

Good luck!