Search Results: Sucking Men

You are browsing the search results for sucking men

Hard To Imagine

Name: Gwen
Gender:
Age: 57
Location: Philly
My husband and I have been married for 33 years. Our relationship is hell when it comes to sex. My husband is overweight, and he’s stressed out about his elderly parents. Sex is non-existent. He never was the instigator in our relationship. And he is the kind of guy who thinks having sex on the couch as opposed to the bedroom is adventuresome. He has become so boring. I don’t believe the man feels sex should be that important at our ages. (I’m 57 and he’s 62) I, on the other hand, am more sexually aroused and creative than ever now that I am more mature and the kids are out of the house. Menopause and all the sex on the internet helps too. ;-) Is there anything I can do to make my man return to being a healthy sexual being once again? Thank you, Gwen

No, thank you, Gwen. Your complaint is a familiar one. In fact, so familiar I regularly offer therapy groups for couples in long-term relationships. Like you and your old man, these couples have, for one reason or another, hit a wall when it comes to their sex lives.

I take a very unique approach to these groups by inviting both straight and gay couples to the same group. At first I got a lot of resistance. Most couples, both gay and straight, thought there was nothing to be learned from a couple unlike them. They couldn’t imagine why I would want to integrate the group in such a manner. I think most of my couples felt more comfortable in being in a segregated group — straight folks with straight folks, gay folks with gay folks.01.jpg

But that is. of course, precisely the reason I integrate the groups. I don’t want them to feel all comfy and cozy, I wanted them to work and learn and stretch themselves out of their sexual doldrums. At first, I had to ask all my couples to suspend judgment about an integrated group until they had an opportunity to participate in one. Now I don’t encounter so much resistance. Word’s gotten out that this is a really creative solution to an otherwise tricky problem. And that old married couples, regardless if they are gay, lesbian or straight have very similar problems. And they can and do learn from one another.

To your specific issue, Gwen, I’m sad to say there’s not much you can do to beef up your sex life if there’s no interest on the part of your husband to do so. I mean, you can lead the horse to cooter, but you can’t make him lick.

200.jpgYou confide that your husband is overweight and stressed. Not a happy combination when it comes to his sexual response cycle. In fact, your husband sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen. Perhaps if your challenged him about his general health — encourage weight loss and stress reduction, you might find that this would also reignite his sex drive. It’s worth a try.

And thank you for mentioning menopause. So many women find the changes that take place in midlife confusing and disorientating. It’s so good to hear from a woman who is eager to explore and enjoy her sexuality post-menopause.

Men also go through changes, in midlife. There’s even a name for it — andropause — the male menopause as it were. It’s clear that as we age, both women and men need more time and stimulation to get aroused. The slower, more sensuous foreplay that often results is a welcome change for most women and even some men.

Increased focus on sensuality, intimacy, and communication can help a sexual relationship remain rewarding even well into one’s senior years. I think you already know this, Gwen, but many women in my audience don’t.

If your husband is avoiding intercourse, there still many ways of expressing your love and staying connected:

  • Hugging, cuddling, kissing
  • Touching, stroking, massage, sensual baths
  • Masturbation and oral sex

However, if your husband is more wedded to food and to stress than he is to you, and1019.jpg if he continues to refuse to join you in finding an appropriate outlet for your sexual frustration, then it’s up to you to make this happen on your own. 57 is way too young to say good by to your sex life. You’re still a fine cougar with lots to offer.

May I suggest that you join a women’s group. Not a therapy group, but more of a support group or activities group. Getting out of the house, being involved with other self-actualized mature women, may uncover the secret solutions other women have put in place to find sexual satisfaction when they are without a partner or have a partner who’s no longer interested in them. I think you will be surprised by how creative your sisters can be. Make it happen, Gwen. Don’t sink to the lowest common denominator of living a sexless life.

The Suppressing Gag Reflex — A Tutorial

Arguably, the humble blowjob is the most common partnered sexual activity for men — straight, bi or gay. It’s pretty obvious why the gays like to suck cock. But nowadays loads of straight women have taken to smokin’ some pole too. Let’s face it; it’s a great way to give pleasure. Regardless of whether it’s part of foreplay, after play, or the main event — like relieving the Commander in Chief in the oval office after a long day of comandering and chiefing, don’t cha know.deep.jpg

Certain skills are essential for mind-blowing oral sex. The preeminent skill, of course, is mastering the gag reflex. But close behind that is keeping your partner’s spooge off your blue dress.

Did you know that the gag response is least active in the morning? That’s right, my pretties, you’re gonna have to know things like this if you aspire to getting a gold medal in cock sucking. Besides, tidbits like this also make for the most charming dinner party trivia.

Today we’re gonna look at three important aspects of understanding and suppressing that nasty gag reflex when chowin’ down on some love muscle.

1) ANATOMY

So let’s take a semi-serious look at the gag response and why we have it. Millions of years of evolution have provided us the anatomical function we call the gag reflex to protect our throat. And as all you rocket scientists know an obstruction in your throat — in either your larynx, which connects to your lungs or the pharynx, which connects to your stomach could be deadly. And since us humans breathe more often than we swallow, the larynx is always open. We all have a piece of cartilage known as the epiglottis at the back of our throat that responds to swallowing. This is not to be confused with the uvula, which is that little thingy that hangs down from the back of your mouth.

Isn’t this fascinating? Aren’t you delighted you stopped by today? Hold on, there’s01010501020801031020070602eaccf0a24f0ac5e33500b857.jpg more!

The passageway to the stomach is fairly narrow, although you’d never guess that from the way some folks wolf down their food. The gag reflex protects us from getting something stuck in there. If the object being swallowed — a big old cock or a piece of cold pizza — can’t easily pass the opening of the pharynx, the epiglottis flaps triggering the gag response. This forces the foreign object — big old cock or cold pizza — out. This is a lifesaving reflex because it protects us from literally biting off more than he can swallow. And since there’s not gonna be a whole lot of biting off and chewing when we blow some dude, the gag reflex can be pretty pronounced.

The object of this tutorial is to help us subdue this lifesaving reflex when needed. The first thing we should know is when suckin’ cock, the dick in question can’t get stuck in our pharynx because, happily it’s attached to the dude we’re blowin’. It can, therefore, be removed without the coughing and choking associated with the garden variety of gagging.

Let’s review. Your tongue, your salivary glands, your hard palate, your soft palate, your uvula, your epiglottis, your tonsils, and your pharynx are all parts of the sensory experience for you as well as your partner with his dick in your mouth. When you deep throat his johnson, your uvula and the epiglottis tickle his dickhead. I guess that’s why us mens like getting’ head so much.

Like anything worth doing, mastering the gag reflex takes practice. The most important thing to remember is that we cannot simultaneously inhale and swallow. Also the epiglottis is very flexible, while the pharynx is relatively rigid.

Let’s do some math. The depth of our mouth — from the lips to the curve in the pharynx just in the back of the throat is three of four to inches. The pharynx runs another five and half inches or so before the esophagus begins, which continues another eight or nine inches. That makes for total passageway available for swallowing cock between seventeen and nineteen inches long. How’s that for adaptability? Your throat is not just for sword-swallowing any more! As long as your partner’s prick is neither too wide nor too stiff to make the turn in the pharynx, an average cocksucker can completely swallow just about anyone for a short period of time while holding his or her breath.

2) POSITION

Probably you’ve already guessed that positioning the cock your sucking at just the4002.jpg right angle down your throat is crucial. Check it out. Take a deep breath; insert two fingers as far as possible into your mouth. Your fingers will bend easily downward. While you’re rootin’ around inside there, you’ll immediately have a sense of internal capacity of your oral cavity. Carefully placing a couple fingers at the back of your mouth shouldn’t cause you to gag, but moving them around might. This underscores the importance of having the willie you’re about to swallow go in the right direction.

So let’s say you’re on your knees, with the intended cock right in front of you. If it’s rock-hard and/or curved upward, as some of those darling things are, that dick is gonna go pounding against your tonsils, making you gag, sure as shootin’. The dude’s cock has to go in and then down your throat, not up and against the roof of your mouth. Got it? Jamming his member against your hard palate will also be pretty unpleasant for the owner of the said cock. This could easily give his dickhead a real owie!

This brings us to the ever-popular sixty-nine position. It’s so popular because it points the dude’s rod toward the base of your tongue, thereby successfully navigating of the curve in your throat.

3) BREATHING
A proper breathing technique is as important as position to happy deep throating. The aquatic minded among us already have the key. Swimmers know that synchronizing one’s breathing with the motion one is making with his or her arms and legs makes for less effort and more stamina. The same is true for the person gulping a big one…or even a small one for that matter. You’ll want to inhale while doing down on his cock, exhale quickly while coming up, then inhale again going back down. The deeper you inhale on the down stroke, the longer you’ll be able to hold216008009_ac9a5d9974.jpg your breath. And PRESTO! The longer you’re able to hold your breath the deeper your partner’s baloney pony will disappear down your gullet. So you see it’s exactly like swimming, only completely different.

For the non-athletes in my audience there is another way to learn to control the gag reflex. Simply practice holding your breath and swallowing at the same time.

We could all learn a lot from the little piggie cocksucker among us. They’re in this whole blowjob thing for the long haul, and they know that pacing one’s self is crucial. They know how important it is to pull off the cock from time to time, at least far enough to take in some air before going down on it again. If you try this you could make some yummy sounds while you pull off his cock. Or you could take it out of your mouth and look at it admiringly. He’ll be impressed that you like his rigid piece of art, and only you’ll know that what you’re actually doing is simply catching your breath.

You should know that deep throating a pleasure prong is gonna make a lot of saliva. This is a double-edged sword. Great for keeping things lubed up, but problematic if that abundant saliva falls into the larynx and makes you cough and choke. If your saliva becomes a problem rather than an asset try relaxing for a bit with his cock in the forward of your mouth so that your larynx will open for breathing. This shallow sucking is a delightful counterpoint to deep throat sucking. You can also practice relaxing and stretching the muscles that regulate swallowing by opening your mouth wide, like in a yawn.

Whichever technique or combination of techniques works for you, remember to breathe. Accumulation of mucous will sometimes mean you have to take a break to spit. If you try to continue without spitting, it will just make you uncomfortable. And who need that?

Also when you deep throat your nose will run and your eyes will water. So if you’re wearing a lot of makeup when you’re blowin’ your guy, you’ll look like a raccoon with a clown face by the time you’re through. Some guys really like this. It suggests to them that they have a really big dick to have wreaked so much havoc.deepthroat.jpg

You’ll probably want to keep at least one of your hands on his pole while you’re sucking it. This will give you more control, especially when he starts pelvic thrusting.

It’s a good idea to keep a hand on his balls too, as they are usually a good indicator of how close your man is to cuming. As he gets closer to shooting, the skin on his scrotum tightens and pulls his balls towards his body to warm them up. You can let this happen on its own, or help out by stimulating his jewels with your hand, tongue, or mouth.

Finally, a common mistake most women and some men make while blowin their guy is using only their mouth to repeatedly bob up and down his weener. This is neither pretty or particularly helpful! Some folks continue doing this until they get a sore jaw or neck. A good deep-throatin’ blowjob should not be too repetitive. The wise cocksucker will keep her/his hands busy throughout. She’ll include stroking his dick, exploring balls, thighs and asshole. By mixing things up, he’ll allow his mouth and throat muscles to relax. This will improve one’s performance and will subdue one’s gag reflex.

Good Lick…I mean Luck…ya’ll

Blue Plate Special

Name: ali
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: canada
my girlfriend dont waana get maried to me beacuse she is afraid of sex , she hates sex because she think its a disguesting thing like sucking fingering n etc what am i suppose to do i love her how i satisfy her dat we have to marry???

Why would you want to marry a chick that doesn’t like sex? That just seems crazy. If you think you’re gonna win her over or change her mind about sex just by marrying her; that’s even crazier. Loving someone is not enough to overcome this kind of resistance. If she’s unwilling to see a therapist to help her through her revulsion of things sexual, then I’d say it was time for you to find another potential bride.

Name: Randy
Gender:
Age: 24
Location: Florida
Is it possible that anal sex can result in increased flatulence?

xx19.jpgAaaa yeah!

Think of your ass as a cylinder and your partner’s cock as a piston. All the slamming in and out forces air up your bum. And what happens to that trapped air after (and sometimes even during) a fuck fest? You got it…farts for days. It’s no big thing, all bottoms get fuck-farts. The same is true for women — her pussy is the cylinder and her partner’s cock is the piston. All the slamming in and out forces air into her cooch, producing the very familiar pussy-fart.

Name: Jonathan
Gender: Male
Age:
Location: UK
Hello, please could you tell me if there is a way to increase the size of my testicles permanently, I do shoot a good amount of cum but they are small in the hand and look small in underwear and swim trunks, have you any advice on what I could try,

Hold on there, big fella. What are you askin’ me? Do you want to increase the size of your balls (testicles), or the size of your sack (scrotum)? You can do the later, but not the former. If you are past puberty, your balls are the size they are gonna be; there’s no increasing them. Your sack, on the other hand can be stretched to increase its size. Will that satisfy you? If so, read this: …don’t let me get too deep. If not, you’re out of luck, darlin’!

Name: Mario
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Location: CA
I watch porn once in a while and have noticed that when I have an erection I get the “precum” after a while of having the erection. The problem is that lots of precum leaks out and its embarrassing for me when I’m with a girl. They usually get grossed out and stop oral sex. Will the precum go away with time or will this happen to me forever?

Ahhh, the heartbreak of pesky precum drip! I used to know this guy that dripped like a broken faucet and all he had to do was think about a woman’s tits. It was absolutely amazing. When I knew him he was at his first job as a teller in a bank in downtown San Francisco. If there was so much as a woman in line with a low cut blouse and a bit of cleavage showing, he was done for. m.jpgHe could feel his juice drip down his leg. He tried many things to keep his heartbreak from being so obvious — he would wear baggy pants, double up on underwear, he’d stuff his junk in a sock and wear a jock over the sock under his underwear. That worked, but it was uncomfortable. Finally he discovered his own personal solution — he pulled his foreskin over the head of his dick and put a little rubber band over the end. This way his juice would build up inside his hood until he released the rubber band. Now that was creative thinking. I’ll admit this guy was unusual with his prodigious cock dribble, but he was young, only in his late teens. His “problem” did subside with time.

This whole phenomenon is not unlike a person with a heavy perspiration problem. You know the guys, the ones who run with sweat form every pour at slightest amount of stress. For most, this happens during puberty and early adulthood, but it doesn’t last.

Listen, pup, I know your drip may be a bit embarrassing, but it’s really very natural. I encourage you to just go with the flow…no pun intended. The more you worry about it the more it will plague you and in time you will become so self-conscious about it, it will cause performance anxiety. Why not consider yourself lucky, all that precum is a swell natural lubricant. Ya know some women have a similar concern with an abundance of vaginal liberation produced during arousal. But believe me, it always way better to have too much than not enough.

To your concern that some girls get grossed out by your leaky dick, well all I can say is they’re no connoisseur of cocksucking. Because those in the know consider precum the Nectar of the Gods!

Name: Isabell
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Location: Olympia Wa
HI, my guy and i have been together for five years now and he is 29 now. Of course in the beginning we were all over each other, but now (five years later) he can go months with out even thinking about sex. And of course I am going crazy for it. He says me pining for sex is a turn off but i cant help it. He thinks its normal, but i know its not. I dont know how to get him in the mood. I’ve tried going down on him at night, romantic dinners, porn, and sucking up to his ego. But still to no avail. I know he’s straight. I am sure there are some things that contribute to his lack of interest. Like he was raised mormon, and in some regards holds women on a pedestal. So what would you advise me to do. What can i do to help him get hornier?

You’re right, darlin’, it ain’t normal! A guy in his 20’s, albeit his late, late 20’s, who has no libido…that’s just downright odd.

So let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re right, he is straight as can be (no secret cock on the side). And he can go months without showing any interest in sex? Come on! If he had been like this from the get go, we could make the case that he just doesn’t have an interest in sex. That’s not particularly uncommon. But to go from a vigorous sex live to virtually none in a few years, that’s fishy. Are you confident that he is still attracted to you? Sometimes a guy would rather live a life of quiet desperation than tell his GF that he’s no longer into her in a sexual sort of way.

17647853_p.jpgIs he experiencing any health problems? Is he overweight, diabetic? Is he depressed? Is he on any prescribed meds? Is he smoking too much pot, consuming too much booze? Is he overworked on the job? Is he sleep deprived? All these things can impact on a dude’s sex drive. I’d recommend he see his physician for some blood work to check his testosterone levels. Sometime a guy’s hormone levels can take a nosedive without him knowing it.

Finally, to your question…what can you do to help him get hornier? Probably nothing beyond what you’ve already tried. If a surprise blowjob, a romantic dinner, porn and even an ego boost don’t do the trick, I’d say he’s a lost cause. Time to take your needs to someone with a little more lead in his pencil, if ya know what I mean. None of us should have to beg for our bone.

Name: amber
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: fort worth
When me and my husband have sex he just seems to want to get it over with. I dont ask him for it because everytime i do ask him hes not in the mood. He wont even try to help me warm up i have to do it all myself. I even do everything to him that he asks me. He also seems like he doesnt want to please me because ill tell him ways to make it easier and positions i like and he just ignores me and goes on the way he wants it. When we first met sex was amazing and now sex is literally a 2-minute session just for him. What do i do to get him to help me out too?

See my response to Isabell, right above you.

And to that I would add that if your man is not being mutual in your sex play he’s not playing fair. And let’s not mince words, your husband sounds downright abusive. Marriage does not give one the license to ignore, reject or abuse. I’m not one for ultimatums, but the longer you tolerate his behavior, the more retractable he will become. Give the bum a choice to either work with you to find a happy solution to this mess, or you are gone.

Good luck, ya’ll

dopbanner.jpg

…don’t let me get too deep

Name: Mystery man
Gender: male
Age:
Location
Hi Dr,
I was wondering how do I make my scrotum more looser? I like to jack-off with them loose for some odd reason…is it something natural where you cannot because its all about the temperature? Thank you, and e-mail me back when you respond! =) Thanks a bunch

Lots of guys are into stretching their balls; it’s a very common practice (fetish). Like you suggest there’s nothing like a pair of low-hangers slappin’ against your junk as you pull your pud.180px-scrotum_by_david_shankbone.jpg

Oh, and you have the whole temperature thing backward. Your nuts hang outside and away from your body so they stay slightly cooler than you normal core body temperature. This keeps sperm production at its peak.

Think of the fun you’ll have with a partner too. Do you know about tea baggin? It’s all the rage, don’t cha know! When you stretch out your balls, you’ll be able to straddle your partner and do deep knee bends, while you’re family jewels dip in and out of your partner’s mouth as you proceed with your up and down motion.

a576.jpgDon’t know a ball stretcher from a hole in your head? Not to worry. There are several kinds of devices, all encircle your sack above your balls and then either pushes your balls away from the body, or yanks down on your nuts. Most stretchers are made of soft leather, or metal, or a combination of both. Persistent use can stretch your sack a good 3 inches. By the way, the stretching itself can produce a very erotic sensation both in your balls and your testicle cords (vas deferens). See Dr Dick’s Stockroom for the 411 on all things relating to stretching your balls

For example, check out this little number: The Parachute Ball Stretcher. This is a classic, handmade Parachute Ball Stretcher, made of black leather with a snap closure. The parachute snaps around the balls, and a metal O-ring hangs below, connected by three chains. The Parachute is adjustable and is made in two sizes. You can pull gently on the ring, or attach a leash, etc. Weights can also be attached, but for god sake, have your wits about you when you try this. You can injure yourself if not careful.

Name: Dan and Rebecca
Gender: Couple
Age: 25, 20
Location:
We are a happy but frustrated couple looking for advice. I’m a 25
year old male, and my lovely girlfriend is 20.
I have no problem bringing her to orgasm and pleasing her, but since we’ve been seeing each other I have not been able to cum once. In the past it was always difficult for me to cum during sex, my first time (age 18) my then gf and I went for about three hours before we just gave up. Usually I would have to jerk myself off afterwards but now I can’t even do that.
However if I am alone with porn I am easily able to masturbate and can get off a few times a day. How is it that I can jerk off to pictures that mean nothing to me, but can’t cum for the woman I love the most?
I’ve spoken with a doctor and he said medically there is nothing wrong with my penis. What do you suggest we do? We are really getting frustrated and just want to be able to please each other.

Simply put, there’s a difference between the psychosexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Your doctor is right, there’s probably nothing wrong with your unit. It’s all in your head…or your mind, to be more exact. And I’m not being flippant.

If I had to guess, I’d say you have a real bad case of performance anxiety. Here’s how this nasty thing works. Say I have a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before I know it, I’m replaying the incident over and over in my mind’s eye till that’s all I can think about. The proverbial molehill has become a mountain. I bring my anxiety to my next encounter. Mykovalik.jpg hyper-consciousness primes me for more disappointment. And I’m ready to interpret all disappointment as a failure. Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? My fears become self-fulfilling and I find I’m beginning to avoid sex, my relationship suffers, I develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction and my self-esteem takes a nosedive. My preoccupation with my problem makes it less likely that I’ll be fully present during sex with my partner, which pretty much scuttles my sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.

It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on your sexual arousal and short-circuiting your sexual response cycle. Get thee to a sex-positive therapist ASAP, darling! Believe me this is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at your tender age. When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psychosexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Good luck

Name: Gene
Gender:
Age: 45
Location: Orlando
I am a homosexual, and I have a “friend” who has been incarcerated for five years. The relationship while he was out with me was excellent. I have asked him numerous of times is he having sex with the homo’s in jail and he responds by saying no. I think otherwise, and he wants to come back to me upon his release. My question is “should I wait for him”?

Gene, Gene, Gene, there are so many things wrong with this picture, I hardly know where to start. Your man’s in the big house for 5 years, and you expect him to keep it in his pants for the duration…just for you? Like WHY? Hey, he’s in the clink, not in a monastery. Oh wait; even monks in the monastery don’t keep it in their habit nowadays! At any rate, it may not be completely up to him if he has sex or not…if you catch my drift. Maybe he’s someone’s bitch right now, he’s just not telling you about it.

Should you wait for him? You mean, all alone by yourself with no one to comfort you while your guys’ doin’ his time? This sounds like the script for a real bad 1950’s prison movie. You could play the Linda Darnell part — the long-suffering girlfriend pining away while her good-for-nothing man pays his debt to society.

Honey, you need to get out more.

Name: omg
Gender:
Age: 32
Location: al
Is it wrong for a married woman to want to masturbate when alone?

I doubt it. What could possibly be wrong with wanting to pleasure yourself when you are alone? As we all know, many women only get off through masturbation. Hell, nowadays liberated women folk everywhere are comfortable enough with their sexuality to jill-off with their partner.

Besides, there’s no better way to get to know your body and your sexual response cycle than through self-pleasuring. Once you’re well acquainted with how your body works, you’ll have a whole lot how much information about how you tic that you can share with your partner when the time comes. It’s a win/win situation.

While I’m at it, let me invite you to send me information about technique, style, fantasy, setting and perhaps implements used in your masturbation. I invite you to submit stories of your earliest experiences; failures as well as successes. You can contribute by using the comments section on the Jillin’ Off page.

Name: JR
Gender:
Age: 20
Location: Florida
Hi Dr. Dick. I’ve been having gay sex since I was 12, so it’s not new to me but I have 2 problems. Problem 1 is that no matter what anyone does to me they can not make me cum. I have had people put it to the test by jerking me off, sucking me, fucking me and jerking me off, but it doesn’t work. I can cum no problem if i do it on my own but the thing is my b/f feels like he can’t please me. problem 2, my boyfriend is new to the whole being gay thing. we have been going out for about a year now and he has been the top. I have only been able to top him 2 since we started going out. that was in the first 6 months of our relationship. but now no matter what i do i can’t top him. i have taken hours to help him prepare, by stretching himself, to rimming, fingering, everything. I can only get my head in when he says that it hurts. we thought that if he sat on it and take more control of it all it would be better but it doesn’t help at all. what can we do for it?

Like I said to Dan and Rebecca above, there’s a difference between the1721-1.jpg psychosexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Many people are unable to, or choose not to, get off in partnered sex. And there is any number of reasons why. Since you’re able to get yourself off when you are with your partner, why not just leave it at that?

Some people think a sexual encounter is only “successful” if one of the partners gets the other partner off. This is nonsense. Some guys, you may be one of them, can only get off by their own hand. It doesn’t diminish the quality of the encounter, just proves that each person has a unique sexual response. Folks, there’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and sexual satisfaction, just like there’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and an orgasm.

As to your hapless boyfriend who can bottom no how…probably it’s simply not his thing, for whatever reason. It seems so unfortunate that you guys are so balled up with all these “shoulds” about what a pleasurable encounter must be like. Why not just relax and enjoy what comes naturally in your being together? No need to force or script the passion into a preconceived idea of how things ought to be.

Name: joy
Gender:
Age: 21
Location: california
I have been dating this guy for almost 3 year and also live with him. I love the way he makes love to me and i love dick, but sometimes i just want to make out with girls… does this make me a lesbian at all?

vol1_avenger.jpgHardly! Takes more than suckin’ face with another chick to make a gal a lesbiterian. You’re gonna need to get yourself a she-mullet, some plaid shirts and a vibrator that you can kick-start. Now that’ll make ya dyke for damn sure! Sheesh!

Good luck ya’ll.

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another!

Name: Julie
Gender:
Age: 26
Location: 41425
I am a virgin. I am also just asking How do I keep my first time from hurting? Some Say Lubrications in exess, but I am very small.

Yep, lots of lube is important — first time and every time. 05_10_12.jpg

But there is so much more you can do to prepare yourself for your first fuck. Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle. Is it safe to assume, even though you are a virgin to full-on fucking, that you are familiar with masturbation? If not, darling, that’s where you should start. If you enjoy pleasuring your body to orgasm, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal. This is precisely the information you will want to pass on to your partner before the fuck-fest begins as well as throughout the event.

The more you know about your body and the mysteries of your particular sexual response cycle the smoother things will go for you and your partner. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to their first partnered sexual encounter uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular.

Most women experience pain during fucking (for the first time or anytime) because of one of three basic reasons: 1) She is inexperienced, 2) Her partner is inexperienced or unversed about mutual pleasuring, 3) She is not fully aroused. Right away you can see how a familiarity with your body in general and your pussy in particular will short-circuit at least two of the three basic reasons right away. And while you can’t account for the sexual prowess of your partner, you will be able to direct him/her on how to touch and make love to you. And that, my dear, takes care of the third basic reason.

One other thing, a lot of women don’t relax during sex…thus discomfort…because they worry about becoming pregnant. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and actually practicing one of them, you’re not ready to have sex. And one other thing, sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for both you and your partner. Don’t be a fuck-up; your partner ought always use a condom.

Name: Dave
Gender:
Age: 20
Location: Sydney
The other day I had to stop myself pissing mid-flow.. and god it hurt like fuck… felt like my ass was being tugged, from within. why does this happen? and can there be any damage from doing this at all?

Jeez, ya got me, pup! Was this some kind of muscle spasm? The muscles in your pelvic region, specifically your pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle), are responsible for stopping the flow of pee. Could you have injured or strained these muscles in some way? Has this happened before? One thing for sure, if this continues; have a doctor take a look right away.

Name: Drew
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: Idaho
Is there any way that I can increase my quality of orgasm? I’ve been having shitty orgasms for the last year, so shitty that they really shouldn’t be called orgasms. I’m on antidepressants (Effexor XR), and I fear that is a factor. I’m also having trouble keeping an erection, it never really gets fully hard and then kinda fades in and out over the course of masturbation or oral sex. Any ideas?

I think you put your finger on the problem right there. Antidepressants can sure enough fuck up a person’s sexual response cycle — interfering with both erections and orgasms. c917.jpg

Short of going off your meds, which I don’t advise…at least not without consulting your physician first…there are a few things you could try. I advise all my clients who are struggling with this same issue to use a cockring. It helps them get and keep a harder hardon. And of course, the more firm your rod, the more likely you will have a “quality” orgasm. I also encourage other clients on antidepressants to use a vibrator during their sex play…alone or with a partner(s). There are several different kinds — wands, dildos, eggs, bullets and plugs. Check out Dr Dick’s Stockroom for every imaginable kind. Of special interest for you might be The Rude Boy (C917)

Name: Jennifer
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: AZ
No joke, I am writing for my best friend who is a 41 year gay man and a virgin. He has never had any type of intercourse and has had brief foreplay with only a few. He can get erect when masterbating but not with a partner. He has tried to “wing it” and pick up men only to be “punched in the gut” again and again and again. He does not pick up anyone anymore because he considers it “false advertising”. He is super cute, very funny and works in the entertainment industry. He is so lonely and very depressed and completely against any type of medication. He wants to share his life with someone so bad. He says that no one has his problem and medical doctors say that the plumbing is fine. He seems to think that because he was able to masturbate at 8yrs old without a true erection that this ruined him. All my research points to performance anxiety and ED which he completely denies. He tried Viagra and that did not even work. Please share your best advice…I really want to help him. Thank you!!

My best advice? Okey dokey, here goes!

This boy needs a sex-positive therapist big time and right away. He is a freakin’ ball of sexual neurosis, for cryin’ out loud. However, the likelihood of your best friend actually seeking the help he so severely needs is nil. Especially since he can’t even cop to performance anxiety and ED issues with you.

And you know what, Jennifer? You may actually be enabling this dude’s dysfunction by allowing him kvetch about his love life…or lack there of. Lay down the law, darling. Tell this miserable wretch he needs to get professional help ASAP. If he refuses, cut him off from your shoulder to cry on. If he can’t grow a pair of cohunes and address his issues like a man, then you oughta grow a pair for him till he get a life. And that’s my best goddamn advice. So there!

Name: Rachel
Gender:
Age: 32
Location: Houston
I have the pleasure of dating (for the first time) a man who is uncircumcised (his foreskin completely covers his head. I love giving oral sex, but I’m a little intimidated. Lots of info on “cercumcised blow jobs” … not so much on Mr. natural. How do I blow his mind!

Doll, havin’ a natural man don’t make suckin’ his cock any different than suckin the cut variety. Except that you have a whole lot more delicious willie to play with. Let’s start with the basics. There’s no one best way to make oral love to a boner. No two cocksuckers will do it exactly the same way. But all have one thing in common, and that’s the desire to satisfy. Technique and position take a back seat to simply craving a cock in your mouth. We’re not talkin’ rocket science, girlfriend, it’s just a pecker and a mouth doin’ what comes natural.

vein.jpgBegin by taking a good look at the object of your desire. A big stiff woody with lace curtains is a wonder to behold. And even those little willies can be cute as hell. Visually explore the whole enchilada. Feel it’s shape, its thickness and texture. Sick a finger under his hood and trace his dick head. Nibble on his foreskin. Pull on it and stretch it out. He’ll be sure to let you know if you are doing too much.

Use your tongue to trace a line from his dick head down the underside of his shaft to his balls. Draw back his foreskin and slop your tongue all around his corona. As you do, watch your man’s eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.

Let his cock slide inside your mouth. Let your lips slide over the head and down the shaft a little, but, for god’s sake, watch out for your teeth! Slide your mouth down farther and open wider. Feel the stretch in your jaws. When his dick gets close to your throat, you may begin to gag. This is a normal reflex that you will, in time, be able to control. Ask for some feedback on your efforts. Just don’t talk with your mouth full.

There are lots of other things you can do with your mouth. Lick his dick, suck on it and flick your tongue rapidly across the top of his dick. Or you can simply move your mouth up and down his joystick drawing his foreskin back and forth with your hand as you go.

Dive into his crotch, lick his inner thighs, lower belly, and slobber all over his nuts. Keep your mouth wet, a thick wad of saliva will add to the pleasure and eliminate irritation. Don’t be afraid to be sloppy. Increase your speed or slow it down. Fondle and cup his balls in your hand.

As your man is about to spew, he will become more excited and may start some pelvic thrusting. If he does and you start to gag, use your hand to guide his dick in and out of your mouth. Remember that you’re the one in charge here. Encircle your lips firmly around his cock and over your teeth. Keep the other parts of your mouth as relaxed as possible (actual “sucking” is unnecessary at this point). Keeping a regular rhythm is nice, but don’t let it get boring. If you vary your position and your stroke you won’t get fatigued.

Name: Bruce
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: UK
What’s a PA? I sometimes see this abbreviation in online personals but I can’t figure it out. thanks

Well, Bruce, PA could mean a whole lot of things. It could be an abbreviation for Pennsylvania, public address system, personal assistant, parental advisory, pussy addict …hell, even Port Arthur, Texas.

pierced.jpgBut if I had to guess, you are referring to PA as in Prince Albert.

A PA is probably the most common male genital piercing. It enters the urethra and exits immediately behind the glans on the underside of the cock.

The Prince Albert Piercing, also known as a “Dressing Ring”, was apparently designed to strap the penis tightly against one’s leg to minimize the bulge caused by one’s rod when wearing the very tight trousers, which were fashionable during the Victorian era. We sure have a different ethinc about that today, huh?

As the rumor has it, Prince Albert, queen Victoria’s hubby, wore one of these little numbers to hold back his foreskin so he would keep his johnson sweet-smelling so as not to offend the Queen. What a fuckin’ gentleman!

Good luck ya’ll

OH THE HUMANITY!

Once again my inbox is filled with quires from all over the globe.

Name: MARK
Gender:
Age: 44
Location: ca
im experiencing ED for 2 years. According to eastern medicine, which i believe in, it’s the result of low kidney chi…are you familiar with mantak chia? can you share any feedback you’ve heard regarding his taoist sex practices?

Alas, I do not know the man or his take on Erectile Dysfunction. If you find out more, do let me know. I’m very interested in cross-cultural philosophies about sex.

Name: Tommy
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: bay area
If your wit this guy for some time. How do you make him be more interested in you. I been sleeping with this person for some time and I feel we have gotten closer> I just want to know I do I reel him in. thanks tommy

vintage311.jpgI am of the mind that humans are not much like fish. They can’t be reeled in. But they can be REASONED in.

Listen, my friend, if you feel like your relationship with this guy has matured to the point where you’d like to take it to the next level, whatever that may be. Why not just come out and tell the bloke how you feel. Ask him to be honest with you about his feelings too. You may be pleasantly surprised to learn that he shares your desire to be more than fuck buddies. If not, at least you’ll know where you stand.

Name: canine
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: philippines
i have a 4 inch dick, 4 inches circumference, would it be enough to satisfy a women. i have tried so many penile enlarging pill, it doesnt work, tried pump, doesnt work either, i am looking at fat transplant is it safe?, would it really lengthen and provide more girth? a 5×5 would be enough for me. help!

manchains.jpgFour inches is plenty to pleasure most women. Most women don’t give a shit about dick size. But ya know what? Even if they were, you are more than your dick size. Presumably you also have functional fingers and a tongue, not to mention an ability to charm a woman. These are the things that will get you laid, my friend, not your 4 or 5 inches.

So you’ve tried enlarging pills and pumps and they don’t work. You don’t say! I keep telling guys to not waste their money. But it looks like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. Now, instead of just useless pills and bogus pumps you want to have some one inject your dick with your own body fat. Is another inch really worth the effort, expense, and risk involved with this procedure if it were to go bad? And mark my words; it will go bad. I have yet to see even one fat injected cock that looks normal. They all look deformed, like they have cottage cheese under the skin. In most cases the body rejects a large portion of the fat injection. The procedure often needs to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

Stop right now. Spend your money on something that will make you more attractive and interesting to the ladies. Take a class in sensual massage, or study tantrac sex techniques. Just leave your dick alone!

Name: jason
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Connecticut
if I like anal sex but not all the time does this make me gay even though I like to be with women too?

5484782_400.jpgTakin’ it up the ass don’t make you gay, even if you’re being plugged by another dude. It may suggest that you are technically bisexual, since you say you also like to be with women. But hell, even a lot of straight guys get pegged by their girlfriends or wives.

So what’s the lesson in all of this? All these labels are useless unless you yourself choose to identify yourself with one or another of them. And for lots of people, sexual identities are fluid things. Be honest with yourself and let your public identity flow from that.

Name: catherine joanne
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: canada, alberta
I am in a very loving, uderstanding, compasionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is, in every way he stimulates my emotional side, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners i have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships has always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, or is this how the “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he just is not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I do not desire to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabatouge this relationship. sincerely: Catherine

If this guy is satisfying you as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced and progressive than he is. That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll never become a wild fuck. But then again, you wouldn’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners. But you already know that, huh?

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck as it is to make a domestic fuck wild!

Name: jamie
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Georrgia
lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM

What’s goin on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Hey, maybe he started out with a skin irritation of some sort or another, and pluggin’ you only made it worse. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Name: rupalini
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: india
i am unable to have an orgasm.. how ever i try.. its emotionally straining on me.. could be pls tell me techniques to relax and enjoy..?

Let’s begin by dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic women.”

Orgasms don’t always come easily to some women, and that’s a fact. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are preorgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging hardon. Women are socialized about sexuality especially where you live — even nowadays — in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than women do.

Case in point. When I was just beginning my sex therapy practice I had a young engaged couple, Joel and Amy, visit me with the very issue you raise. As I would soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic-wand of a dick. (Oh, lord, how us mens love to brag!)

But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life, the young woman sitting next to him, was immune to his sexual prowess. He had to get to the bottom of this…so to speak. So he decided to haul the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy squirmed with discomfort during this little introduction. I thought she would absolutely die as Joel detailed the intimacies of their lovemaking. He was being very explicit. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while numb-nuts Joel was sitting right there, so I told him to go take a hike while Amy and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered. “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 5 or 6 years old. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands…like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware. My mother explained that my hair, face and hands would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body…just like we would then wash the rest of the dishes. Finally, at the end of the bath, I could wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in that same manner to that very day. This was so startling to her that she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty her mother took her aside for the “BIG TALK.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that brought with it, added to the pot and pan imagery really threw poor Amy for a loop. Her mother said…referring to her genitals, “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.” WHAT? “This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK, why?”

brazilian-bedlock.jpgPoor Amy! She was a tangle of confusion and mixed messages. No wonder she was preorgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with a “Oh, please don’t. I’m not ready for that.”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We began her home-play exercises with journal work and a self-sexological exam. I instructed her to get a hand mirror and a diagram of female genitalia. She was to get to work familiarizing herself and making friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a detailed touch test. Every square inch from her asshole to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of cunt and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity — red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas to blue being the more neutral areas and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand. I suggested a nice personal lubricant for her wet hand exploration. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do, don’t cha know. And this was to be private time. Joel was not to invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure for that to happen, just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel to her little pussy get-acquainted party, he could only attend as a guest, not a participant. I encouraged her to give Joel the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings and once the tour and art show was over that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing just the tour and art show.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time. But he had to be patient.

When next we were together Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from just looking at the pictures she drew that she found her clit. Amy was pleased as all get out with her newfound pussy friend. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s home-play would include a vibrator. Amy was to shop for the one she wanted and take it home to introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she created of her genitals, she was to kick-start that vibrator, throw it into first gear and start making small lazy circles around the blue areas, and work her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wasn’t gonna take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless. “Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god, I saw stars, the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room thinking I had somehow hurt myself. He stood there in stunned silence as he watched me throw myself another screaming meme.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screamin’ memes.

And so that’s how Amy went from being preorgasmic to being a totally “I know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm” in a matter of a couple of weeks. YEAH!

big-13.jpgNow let’s review for you Rupalini. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm it’s all about reconnecting with your cunt.

The more you know about this marvelous part of you the better you’re gonna be at slammin yourself a screamin’ meme when the time comes. Knowing your way around your pussy is also gonna be helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partners are men. Like I said earlier, one of the reasons you’re preorgasmic may be you’ve had uninformed lovers.

You see most men’s interest in pussy extends to the end of his dick. And it completely expires once he’s shot his wad. So don’t mistake a man’s pawing at you to get in your pants as authentic interest in you and/or your pussy. Mostly a man is interested in getting’ some relief for his johnson. And that’s about as far as our interest goes. So, if you find a partner that doesn’t know shit from shinola about your love cave, you’ll better have the confidence to give him a tutorial before the fucking commences.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried it before without success, that’s ok. This time you’ll be better informed about all the hot spots of your coozie that you learned in step one. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddlin’ yourself spread the sexual energy all over your body — tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever.

Vary your technique: stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

022107.jpgMany women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator, just like old Amy. I encourage you to be adventuresome and experiment with one too. Try a dildo or another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Finally, Rupalini, may I turn you on to a fantastic webstie, www.Clitical.com. This is a one-stop shop for all things relating to female sexuality.

Good luck ya’ll

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player