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The Downside Of Being A Male Escort

Awhile back I responded to a young fellow who was considering Turning Pro to pay down his mounting bills.  I began my response to him by saying:

You betcha I have suggestions…a lot of ‘em, don’t ‘cha know.

Being hot and liking sex are great assets if you decide to turn pro, but you’ll need way more than that. Being a sex worker is not like having sex for love or even having recreational sex. You will be exchanging sex for money and that makes it a business proposition. Therefore you’d be wise to approach this with as much forethought as you would any other career move. It is, after all, the world’s oldest profession.

toe curl

Here’s another perspective by TotallyOz

Becoming a gay male escort can be one of the most exciting decisions you will ever make. As an escort you will be able to make a good deal of money, have lots of personal freedom and not have to deal with the grind of being in an office or cubicle every day.

That said, being a male escort is not all wine and roses. Like any job, there are some downsides that you need to consider before you make the plunge. Not everyone is meant to be an escort, and you should fully understand all of the risks and consequences before you make your choice to enter the world of pay for gay.

While every situation is different, there are some common challenges that nearly every male escort must face. Please, before you make your decision, read carefully and make sure that you can live with the following risks.

sweatpantsFamily Pressure on Gay Male Escorts. Face it. Nobody wants their son to grow up to be a gay escort. If you do become a rent boy you are going to either have to come up with a cover story to explain your income or else have the most understanding family in the history of the known world. No matter what you tell them, they are not going to believe that you don’t have sex with these guys for money. On the other hand if you seem to be unemployed but have lots of income they might come up with even worse fantasies of what you do for a living or think you are a drug dealer. While you may be able to come up with a good cover story, you need to make sure that you will be able to lie to your family for a long time without feeling like shit.

Gay Male Escorts Have Boyfriend Problems Too! If you have a serious boyfriend he’s probably not going to be too happy about you having sex with lots of random guys for money. He may be concerned about his health if he does not trust you to use condoms with your date. He may get jealous. Sure, there are lots of guys who might think its cool or get turned on by what you do for a living, but there are also many, many guys who will simply go batshit crazy over the issue. If you are in a relationship, have a talk with your partner before you go on your first date.

Every Gay Male Escort has to Learn how to Deal With Assholes It would be nice to think that every guy who responds to your ad plans on taking you out, giving you money and sucking your cock. But, that’s not the way the world works. Some guys will waste your time by talking to you constantly online, jerking off over your photo and then never bother to call you up. Other clients will ask you if you do things that repel you. You may even get some scary emails from gay bashers. The bottom line is that just like any other job, you may have to deal with some assholes along the way.shower butts

Stalkers are Uncommon but Possible in the Gay Male Escort Community One of the reasons men call up an escort is that they are lonely. This is not a bad thing in and of itself. But, it does mean that some guys will take you more seriously than you might think. After having hot sex with you, they may think they have fallen in love. Part of them might forget that you are only with them for the money and they might think you are in love with them too. Then, they have the potential to become stalkers, either by writing you constantly, getting jealous of your other clients or showing up in unexpected and inappropriate places. You need to find a way to have sex but keep their emotions at arm’s length.

All Gay Male Escorts Need to Watch out for The Money Honey Making a lot of money can be a great thing – and can provide you with more freedom than you have ever had before. But, there is a downside. Money can be seductive and it may be hard for you to ever get out of the business – because you are so used to having lots of cash around. Beyond that when you have more money it’s easy to make poor spending choices. Lots of guys start using way too many drugs – simply because they can suddenly afford to. Make sure that you are mature enough to handle the green before you get paid to handle the cock.

Escorts Can Have Legal Troubles Despite the number of escort ads and agencies that you may see every day, having sex for money is still against the law in most of the country. If you are not careful, the odds are fairly high that you will eventually get arrested. Your name might even get in the paper. Before you become an escort you need to make sure that you can be vigilant enough to not get busted – and that you are emotionally prepared and know what to do if the cops ever do slap the silver bracelets on your sweet ass.

machineryGay Bashing in the Escort World Putting out an escort ad is a big neon sign telling the world that you have gay sex. Some people hate guys who fuck other guys. Therefore there is always the chance that a homophobic fuckwit will make a date with you, simply so he can beat the living shit out of you. Be very, very careful who you meet – and if your instincts warn you away from a guy, take your gut seriously. You only have one life and you don’t want to lose it to a repressed shithead.

How Gay Male Escorts Deal with Ugly Clients Not every guy who calls you up is going to look like Brad Pitt. Some will have a face only a mother can love. Some will be fat, short and out of shape. Others will smell really, really bad. There is nothing you can do about this – if you want to get paid you’ll have to fuck them, even if they look like a prune with a two inch dick. Ask yourself if you are willing to have sex with the ugliest, smelliest person you have ever met. If not, you probably don’t want to become an escort or you will need a great way to talk yourself out of a date once it begins. Most real money in the business is made by repeats and once you get several of them, you will be set.

Gay Male Escorts often get asked to do Kinky Shit Most guys will simply want to suck and fuck with you. But, there are lots of guys out there who call up escorts because they want stuff that their partner is not into. Many of these kinks are silly and harmless – like wanting to jerk off on your feet. Others can be a little bit creepy. When you talk to a new client you need to make sure he understands what you won’t do – and find out if you are willing to do the stuff that will get him off. Otherwise you will just be wasting each other’s time.

Your Regular Sex Life Can Suffer Being an Escort Anything you do for a living can become a drag. If you are getting laid for money five times a week, the last thing you may want to do on your day off is suck dick. Yet, having a normal sex life is a healthy thing. You have to be very careful that you don’t let being an escort take away your essential humanity.

Full Review HERE!

Gags & Nipple Clamps 101

Lookin’ to spice up your Valentine? When roses and chocolates just ain’t gonna cut it…

Nipple clamps

Gripper Nipple Suckers by Atomic Jock

Gripper Nipple Suckers by Atomic Jock

First up are the infamous nipple clips or clamps. They are a favorite in sensation play. Whether it’s sucking, pinching, prodding, or pulling the nipples, clamps are meant to flirt with the painful side of pleasure. Don’t let the discomfort angle scare you off . Nipple clips can be perfectly harmless, especially for beginners, when used correctly.

Also, remember, both genders have nipples, so this needn’t be for women only. When picking out a tit torture product, you can test the strength on your finger or even better, the flesh of your arm, which is fairly sensitive. A good rule of thumb is that if it hurts your finger, your nipple is not going to be happy. Definitely work up to a stronger clamp if that’s your goal.

3-Speed Vibrating Nipple Clamps

3-Speed Vibrating Nipple Clamps

For beginners, I suggest a sucking type of clamp like Gripper Nipple Suckers by Atomic Jock to stimulate your nipples to full attention. They are easy to use (simply squeeze and let go on the nipple). If you are up for something a bit more edgy, try the 3-Speed Vibrating Nipple Clamps.

They vibrate wirelessly (which can help intensify the pressure in a good way), are waterproof, and, best of all, fully adjustable for whichever kind of level you are at. Pairing some trusty nipple clamps with restraints (and heck, throw in a blindfold!) will work superbly as torture play. Tease, tease, and tease your partner some more with the exquisite pressure of nipple clamps. They will definitely bring out your naughtier side.

Blind folds

Institutional Fleece Lined Blindfold

Institutional Fleece Lined Blindfold

Next, is the realm of sensory deprivation.

It may sound like an insignificant and simple item, but a blindfold can make a world of difference. Covering your or your lover’s eyes creates a vulnerability that can be quite thrilling.

If you don’t know when or where the next caress, pat, or lick will go you can be sure that this will create a whole new level of sensual tension. Plus, with a good quality blind fold impeding your sight, other sensations will take charge with a vengeance.

Try covering your lovers eyes while whispering something suggestive into his/her ear. Or, even better, both strip to the buff, make sure the blind is secure, and surprise them by ravishing different parts of their body, or rubbing parts of yours all over them. Especially paired with your favorite restraint, blindfolds can be a surprisingly new way to spice up your sex life.

Most any cloth material will work as a makeshift blindfold, but I suggest something like the Institutional Fleece Lined Blindfold as a starter product. It’s soft, dark, and molds to your face making each wear comfy with all the sexy benefits of sensory deprivation.

Restraints

Cotton Bondage RopeRestraints also heighten sexual tension. Whether it’s the cool metal of handcuffs (please, make sure you have the key!), the flexibility of rope, or the simplicity of scarves and ties, whatever you use to restrain your lover will provide a whole new dimension to sex play.

But first things first, some safety tips.

Have an exit: Make sure you both are comfortable with untying the knot or unlocking the cuff. Have a pair of scissors near to hand just in case.

Too tight is not right: This is a biggie: watch how tightly you knot the material or cuff. Cutting off circulation will get unsexy in a hurry. So if you or your partner feels any numbness, pain, or strain in their tied limb, speak up so the restraint can be adjusted. Having a mutual safe word as well as trying a few practice knots on yourself so you can be up to par and ready for the real session.

Once you’re a-OK with ropes, cuffs, or whatever you’re using, get ready to tease your partner KinkLab BedSpread Under Bed Bondage Strapsuntil they beg for more! For beginners, I would suggest using either Cotton Bondage Rope or the KinkLab BedSpread Under Bed Bondage Straps. Both are very user friendly (the bed bindings doesn’t even need a post or headboard!) and will ease you into your bondage fantasies.

Once you or your partner is successfully restrained, tease your way up and down their body, varying the pressure and consistency of your touch, pats or (even better) licks. Incorporate other sensations  (cold or hot, silky or rough, etc.) or other toys. Even your most steadfast vibrator can turn into a whole new experience once you’re no longer in control.

Gags

Tantus Beginner Ball GagThough there is very real potential for drool with this torture device, I say go for it! You will also be depriving your partner of speech. When they can’t tell you what they want, you must rely on moans, groans, and body language. The gag can be a major prop in role playing too.

Try some rougher play, with restraints and even a blindfold. The gag is meant to be power play, so maybe a game of sex slave for the afternoon with your lover on hands and knees with the ball gag and nothing else. Or the classic break-in situation, with a burglar restraining and gagging the unsuspecting victim before ravaging their body. It’s completely up to you.

As for products, try the Silicone Ball Gag w/ Garment Leather Strap to see if you like the feel. Those looking for more might consider stepping up to the Tantus Beginner Ball Gag. Just make sure you maintain proper hygiene in safely washing these toys, since they are going in your mouth. Many are silicone, rubber, latex, or metal, so easily washable, or even bleachable.Silicone Ball Gag w: Garment Leather Strap

Simply insert the gag into your/your partner’s mouth, adjust the strap, and there you go. Some more complicated gags have different parts, metal bits, or can be adjusted in multiple fashions. Also, since a safe word will be harder understand, be sensitive to each others body language, as it will indicate what they’re feeling. Overall, make sure you’re comfortable with the gag and then unleash your wilder fantasies.

My final tip is to keep your experimentation playful. Have a sense of humor about the whole blasted thing. If this play becomes a chore or a bore, shut it down and go back to your former alleged life.

Good luck

What’s going on w/me?

Name: Paul
Gender: Male
Age: 59
Location: Rhode Island
Dear Dr Dick: I am a 59 yo man, married, masculine and very much attracted to women. I have, however, in the past few years felt an attraction to men as well. I can remember as a pre-puberty boy being turned on to other boys in magazines. Watching male porn does nothing for me and I have no desire to have anal sex. But I do often fantasize about being with a naked man and performing oral sex. I am in my second marriage, which like the first, is not very happy and there is virtually no physical relationship. I have never been much of a “ladies man” although I am very outgoing and have a good sense of humor. Is my inability to score with women turning me towards men, as they are easier to meet? I have not acted on any fantasy although I do go to a gay massage therapist and very much enjoy his hands on my body and the great hand job at the end. Too much to lose to pursue men. What’s going on w/me?

A common enough complaint, Paul. You’re apparently awakening to the realization that there is more to your sexuality than you’ve allowed yourself to consider in the past. And no, I don’t think you’re interest in men is connected to your track record with women. But it certainly could be the other way around. You aren’t overly successful with the ladies, because you’re much more interested in the gents. Does that sound more like it?

You say you haven’t acted on your newly uncovered fantasies, but you do, from time to time, get a nice hand job from the gay masseur you frequent. Aren’t you just splitting hairs with this artificial and arbitrary boundary? And aren’t you saying that if you’re not the “active” partner, you have some credible deniability? Bollocks!  I gotta tell ya, that kind of thinking make my flesh crawl.try-it-youll-like-it

It appears to me that you’re not gonna be satisfied till you finally get some mighty fine cock in your mouth. And there’s any number of ways you can get that to happen. You’re already seeing a sex worker for your massages; why not look for one who will let you blow him. Look for an escort or ask your masseur for a referral. Hell, he may even oblige you himself. All ya gotta do is be upfront with what you are looking for. Tell the provider you are unversed in the whole cock sucking department, but you’ve been wanting to try it. Remember, you’ve not committing yourself to anything, you’re just doing some research. Right?

My only concern is that you seem to have already put the kibosh any possible research when you say: “Too much to lose to pursue men.” Oh really? How much is too much? Is your over all happiness, your sexual fulfillment, or your integrity TOO MUCH? Think about it some and get back to me.

Good luck

Better Oral Skills For All

Name: Glenda
Gender: Female
Age: 57
Location: Midwest
My husband and I have been together for 23 years and have a great sex life. I love giving him blowjobs and he says he enjoys it too, but he never has an orgasm from the BJs. He says that the head of his penis (circumcised) is just not very sensitive. Is this common and is there anything we can do to increase the sensitivity? Thanks for your help.

Hey Glenda! Your concern about your husband not gettin’ off on your blowjobs is a familiar complaint. Lots of men can’t get off that way. And I don’t think it has much to do with his desensitized dickhead.

blowjob humorIf you are confident that you are an expert cocksucker and you know all the tricks of getting your man off with your mouth, fine! However, if you need to brush up on your technique there are lots of resources out there. First, check out my handy-dandy tutorial: So Ya Wanna Be A World-Class Cocksucker …Or How To Give The Perfect Blow Job.

Want some visuals with your tutorial? I got that covered too. Take a look at The Dr Dick How To Video Library for the help you need. Look for the Video Library tab in the header.

One such video is Heads Up: The Official Guide To Fellatio from my friend and colleague, Dr Carol Queen’s Pleasure Ed series. Also look for Tristan Taormino’s video tutorial for orally pleasuring you man titled, Expert Guide To Oral Sex 2: Fellatio. Don’t forget Dr Michael Perry‘s How to Give A World-Class Blowjob.  His whole series of educational videos is great. There’s even a video called: Pinky’s Dick Sucking For Dumb Asses.Heads Up

If you want to know my secret to gettin your man off with your mouth, try diddlin’ his prostate with your finger while you blow him. Or kick it up a notch and use a slim-jim vibrator in his bum to get his juices flowin’.

Good luckHow to Give A World-Class Blowjob

A Story With A Happy Ending

Name: Nathan
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Location: Dallas
I’m a married guy with a great wife and 3 beautiful kids. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a masseuse I found on Craigslist. I don’t have a lot of experience with massage and thought I would be safe going to a guy instead of a woman. The guy was really nice and did a good massage, but somehow I popped wood near the end of the massage. I was really embarrassed, but he was like totally ok with that. Then he asked if I wanted a happy ending. I didn’t even know what that was till he started to massage my ass and blow me. I have to admit it was totally amazing. I never felt anything like it before in my life. My wife sometimes will give me oral sex, but nothing like this. I blew a load like nothing I ever did before. I though my insides were coming out of my cock. I was amazed and scared and confused and I could hardly sit up. Then the guy said I had a real healthy prostate. I said, WHAT? And he said he was massaging my prostate while he was sucking me off. I can’t stop thinking about this. I want more but I feel really guilty and I’m afraid this is going to make me gay.

What a great story, Nathan. But we need to clear up a few things. A masseuse is a female practitioner of massage. A masseur is a male practitioner. This is a common enough mistake, but I thought you should know the proper usage for further reference. Because you can see how a little unintended slip like this will make all the difference in the world. If you say a masseuse gave you a blowjob that’s totally different from getting a blowjob from a masseur, don’t ‘cha know.massage_butt.jpg

I’m gonna also guess you never had a prostate massage before this encounter with the masseur. A prostate massage coupled with your first blowjob from a guy…hell, you are lucky your insides didn’t shoot out your dick along with your spooge. I’m joking of course, but it does stand to reason that you had such an intense and explosive orgasm and ejaculation. That’s precisely what a prostate massage does, honey.

Now, let’s see if we can figure out why you can’t stop thinking about this. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to analyze that either. This was a peak sexual experience for you. I mean, beside the mind-blowing release, the means by which you had this orgasm — the guy’s finger in your ass and the guy’s mouth on your dick were both unexpected and apparently unprecedented. So I figure you had very little time to cognitively respond to the stimuli before things came to their explosive climax, so to speak, as it were. And you did say you were already relaxed and aroused by the massage, right?

I’d be willing to bet that if you had some emotional distance from the experience you would realize your body was simply responding to the stimulus it was receiving. Your dick and your prostate weren’t able to distinguish the gender of the person diddlin’ your ass and suckin’ your dick. And since your brain was occupied with all these new sensations you had little time, if any to process and possibly protest. And maybe you wouldn’t have protested even if you could. Maybe you wanted to take this little walk on the wild side. Trust me, lots of guys do.

come as you areNow that the event has passed, you have plenty of time to process. And process you are…to within an inch of its life…if ya ask me. This experience looms so large for you because it is forbidden fruit, so to speak. It upsets the apple cart of your cozy and predictable heterosexuality. I mean it’s one thing to pop wood on a massage table. It’s something totally different to blow a wad while a guy is givin’ you head.

And now that you have all this time on your hands to keep pouring over and over this in you head, the event has taken on a proportion it probably wouldn’t have otherwise.

Let me put your mind to rest, one blowjob from a guy…even an earth-shatterin, prostate-massagin’ blowjob, like the kind you got from this fabulous masseur…won’t make you gay. Nor does wanting to repeat the experience make you gay. All this experience really tells us is that you like a good blowjob and you now know where to get a really fantastic one when next you want one.

Think about it this way. Say you went to a Chinese restaurant and, to your great surprise, had the best dim sum ever. You were so impressed with the food that you’ve been eager to return to this particular eatery for another go at those tasty vittles. Does this desire for yummy dim sum make you Chinese? I don’t think so…that is unless you were Chinese before you went to the restaurant.

Finally, the guilt you’re experiencing, where might that be coming from? There are so many sources one would be hard-pressed to come up with an exhaustive list. But let’s look at the top contenders.hands & butt

  • You’re married with a family. You had a sexual experience…unplanned as it might have been…with someone other than your wife. BINGO!
  • Our culture’s buttoned-down sex and gender stereotypes — who can do what to whom. BINGO!
  • The dictates of our sex-negative society about what is proper and what is not in terms of sexual exploration and experimentation. BINGO!
  • The shame of possibly being labeled a fag. BINGO!
  • The fear of your own desires and where they might lead you. BINGO!
  • The allure of the forbidden and the explosive charge the illicit. BINGO.

The experience you had with that masseur, Nathan, is so highly charged, both culturally and sexually, that it will take some while for you to find your balance once again. In the interim, my I suggest that you postpone any judgments about yourself or what the incident might imply about you until you’ve have some emotional distance and the time to calmly process all of this. In the final analysis, I think you’ll come to the conclusion that this is a relatively harmless sexual outlet. The masseur is providing you a service…I mean beyond the obvious. He is providing you a safe, secure non-judgmental environment to exercise and expand your sexual repertoire. Think of it like a place you go to learn about the wonders of sexual dim sum.

Good luck