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Don’t Try This At Home

And now for a couple of very disturbing questions…

 

Name: Abe
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: NV
what will happen or is there any side effect if i put a single ball in the ass, but won’t come out?

Abe: let me ask you a question: Do you think your rectum was designed to hold man-made spherical objects? Leading doctors say NO.

All kidding aside. What the fuck were you thinking? Were you loaded on some substance or just bored to death? And why didn’t you include your email address so that I could actually respond to this pressing inquiry in a timely fashion?

By now you’ve either shit out the ball or you took your sorry ass to the hospital to have it removed.

Sex fans, NEVER, and I do mean NEVER put anything in your ass that you don’t have tethered to something that will not be going in your ass. You’re just asking for serious trouble if you do.

dont-try-this-at-home

 

Name: Sandy
Gender: Female
Age: 45
Location: California
During sex, I got an object stuck in my rectum. It went past the small outlet in the top of my anal cavity. To be honest, I’m scared. I cannot “fish it out.”  It is up past the holding area. We were using a hangable broom handle (plastic), which has a tip on it for hanging. I keep a rubber on it so it won’t come off in me, well the rubber broke; the lube I used caused the breakage. So what can I do? The tip/cap/hanger thing is as wide as a broom and about a half inch deep, but has the capability to act like a suction cup if it gets stuck. Next time I will make an air hole so it cannot get adhered in me. But how can I get it out? I have no insurance, so I cannot go to the DR. Help!

Sandy, I sincerely hope you haven’t been waiting patiently by the computer all week waiting for my response.

Again, this person didn’t include her email address with her query, just like Abe above.

This distresses me no end! There are so many things wrong here; I simply don’t know where to start. You’re 45 years old and yet you don’t know better than to fuck yourself with a broom handle? Holy cow! And you are using an oil-based lube while you have your broom handle, with its plastic hanging doohickey rapped in a latex condom? My god, teenagers know better than that.

And what is this about NEXT TIME you’ll make an air hole so it cannot get adhered in you? Are you completely out of your mind? If this one extremely embarrassing, if not downright dangerous stunt hasn’t taught you a lesson; then I suppose there’s no hope for you.

Like said to Abe above — By now you’ve either shit out the thingy in bum or you’ve taken your sorry ass to the hospital emergency room to have the object removed.

NEXT!

Spark Plugs

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. Our summer vacation is over and we’re all back to work.  This week we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort, Zini. You will be hearing a lot more from this Chinese company in the weeks to come because they sent us a whole bunch of their toys. But today, to kick off this barrage of new products, we bring you a couple male-oriented toys from their extensive line. Unfortunately, I can’t yet find these toys here in the good old US of A, but they are available all over Europe, the UK and Australia. Let hope they find a US distributor real soon.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Greg, to see what he has for us.

Zini Janus Anti Shock and Lamp

Greg
I have a couple of anal insertion toys that are gonna rock your world. These toys are generally marketed to men, but women have butts too. And I know at least three women, friends of mine, who get off on anal toys. They tell me that they get great G-spot stimulation through anal stimulation. OK then! It sure works great on my prostate, or as some folks like to call it, my P-spot. Whatever kind of “spot” you have you will get off on one of these puppies.anti shock

I have two of the three available sizes—the small, Anti Shock, and the large, Lamp. I can’t honestly say I like the names they’ve chosen for their toys. The small, Anti Shock, is for beginners. Personally, I would never even allude to the word “shock” if I were making an anal toy, especially for men and especially for beginners. But that’s just me. And “Lamp?” Where are they going with that? I mean, if it lit up, FINE! But, as they say, “a rose by any other name,” right?

So I’m pretty confident that anyone the least bit familiar with anal toys will look at the Anti Shock, and Lamp and go, “Hey, they look just like the Aneros products!”  Yeah, there are similarities, for sure; they all go in your butthole, for instance. And since I have used both kinds of these insertables, I feel I am in a position to say that I prefer the Zini brand. Here’s why I say that.

Both product lines are of a similar size. Both have a lot of the same features—shapes, grippable handles for easy insertion and extraction, and a taint (perineum) massager (that’s the little ball shaped thing opposite the handle. Now for the differences. The Zini line has a substructure of hard plastic, like the Aneros line, but the insertable part is covered with velvety silicone. This is huge for me. I love silicone. It’s versatile; it’s latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic too. The Zini line is also a better design, in my opinion. The way the shaft is affixed to the handle makes for better internal and external stimulation.

LampThe gradual increase in girth between the three sizes makes finding the ideal fit for everyone—rank amateur to seasoned pro—easy as pie. The Anti Shock: total length: 4.25 inches, insertable length: 3.25 inches, circumference: 2.75 inches and the Lamp: total length: 4.25 inches, insertable length: 3.75 inches, circumference: 3.75 inches.

Beyond the pleasure there are loads of health benefits associated prostate massage. If you don’t believe me, ask Dr Dick.

While the Anti Shock, and Lamp are not traditional butt plugs, they work on the same principle. You can wear the Anti Shock, and Lamp, for hours at a time; they’re that comfortable. And because your anal sphincter clamps down on the stem of the shaft, where it attaches to the handle, it’s not gonna slip out of your hole, nor will it slip all the way in. Only thing; you can’t sit down comfortably with either of these insertables in your bum. Don’t worry, there’s lots more you can do with either of these guys.  I like laying on my back with one or another of these massagers in my butt. I like rocking my pelvis or doing some crunches while I pull my pud. There’s so much more stimulation that way than when I’m just jerking off without anal stimulation. And I get way more intense orgasms too. It stands to reason, huh? Your prostate is where most of your ejaculate comes from. And massaging your prostate will increase your ejaculate too.

The tapered tip on both of these insertables make inserting so easy, even for a novice butt pirate. To tell the truth, not even the girthiest part of the Lamp is all that scary. I also like the Zini line’s ball-like perineum massager. Beats the hell out of the Aneros tab massager.

Use only a water-based lube with both of these toys. A silicone-based lube will mar the beautiful silicone finish on the Anti Shock, and Lamp.

Because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. Hell, you can even pop these puppies in the top rack of the dishwasher for further sanitation.

The packaging is pretty basic; a clear plastic shell with a cardboard insert behind the toy. However, the back of the insert lists all of the features of the toy as well as measurements for the three different available sizes.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Open Hearts, Open Minds, And Open Relationships

Name: Deborah
Gender: female
Age: 36
Location: Rome
I like your site very much. Thank you for some much honesty. I have a question; do open relationships really work?

Well gee, thanks for your kind words, darlin’; I appreciate it.

To your question about open relationships, I guess that depends on the maturity level of the people considering opening their sexually exclusive relationship. And how much work they are willing to put forward to communicate with one another through all the details that such a decision entails.open relationship

That being said, there are a few things us sex researchers know for sure. In most cultures, people claim to practice sexual exclusivity, which is commonly referred to as monogamy. Although I think that’s a misnomer. Monogamy literally means having one union, which, as we all know, tells us nothing about sexual expression of either or both partners.

Lifetime sexual exclusivity (being sexually involved with only one person for one’s entire life) is rare. Serial sexual exclusivity (having a series of exclusive relationships over one’s life) is much more common. And despite knowing that we humans do not mate for life, we continue to presume that sexual exclusivity, or monogamy is the only legitimate kind of coupling.

This, unfortunately, leads to our culture’s obsession with cheating — that is, having sex with someone outside of a monogamous relationship. And frankly, what I know about humans, human relationships, and human sexuality; I can say for certain that fidelity is not necessarily a genital issue. One can indeed be faithful to someone else and still have the freedom to express him/herself sexually with others. It happens all the time. In these cases, fidelity is to the relationship and the agreements, parameters, and boundaries mutually agreed upon by the partners. Which get me back to my opening comment about the need for communication. Of course, it’s much easier to presume that everyone in a relationship is working under the same rubric, but that kind of presumption is a fool’s paradise.

polyamory1Another shortcoming of setting up sexual exclusivity, or monogamy as the only legitimate kind of coupling is that it diminishes all the other types of relationships that flourish albeit in a more covert sort of way. And here I’m talking about an array of open relationship models and polyamory. The fact that we don’t hear a lot about these non-traditional relationships shouldn’t suggest to you, or anyone, that they don’t exist or that they aren’t practical or practiced my a lot of people. They are! It just means that most people in non-traditional relationships know not to go public in a society that would denigrate them for their lifestyle choices. That’s how things are here in the good old US of A; and I’ll wager it’s also true for you Italians. Am I right, or am I right?

Open relationships and polyamorous relationships work because the people in them adhere to some basic tenets about how to conduct themselves.

First among them is the notion that these alternative relationships must be chosen; they can’t be mandated. If one or another of the persons considering an open or poly relationship is being pressured to go along with the flow, or is fearful that he/she will be alone if he/she doesn’t comply with the will of the other(s), that kind of duress is not gonna work.

Each person in the relationship needs to take responsibility for the choices he/she is making. If you’re not up for the task, or if this kind of arrangement is not compatible with your personality type, don’t attempt to override that. You will only jeopardize the relationship for the other(s) involved. However if the idea appeals to you, give it your best shot. I can guarantee it will be a learning experience. Just remember, exploring something and having it carved in stone are two very different things.

Second, communication is key. The more complex the relationship structure the greater the need for open lines of communication. Know your boundaries and express them clearly. Ask questions; never assume you know something when you don’t. If you will allow me some shameless self-promotion, I’d like to direct your attention to my latest book, The Gospel Of Kink — A Modern Guide To Asking For What You Want And Getting What You Ask For. It’s a communication and relationship-building workshop, for folks in nontraditional relationships, in workbook form. I think you will find it most enlightening. GOK small cover

Third, know yourself! You must be able to deal with your emotions, particularly jealousy, in an up-front, adult way. This is often much easier said than done. If you need to be the center of attention just so you can feel good about yourself, or you have serious territorial issues — this is mine, this is mine, and this is mine! Alternative relationships are probably not for you.

Know what keeps you even keel in terms of what you need and what you are able to give. There has got to be a healthy tension between these two things. If you’re the kind who gives too much and resents not being rewarded for your gifts, stay away from alternative relationships. Or if you are so needy that you can’t stand it when someone else is enjoying his/her time in the sun; open or poly relationships are decidedly not for you.

You should also know that alternative relationships, of whatever stripe, are, for the most part, on the fringes of what society will accept. And some are outright taboo. This doesn’t mean you will have to slug it out on your own, in a vacuum of support. On the contrary, you will no doubt find that the people who are living contrary to the expectations of the popular culture are often a whole lot more generous with their support and compassion then those following all the rules.

You will find that your support system will shift from more traditional sources like family, church, and community to alternative sources like clubs and social groupings of other like-minded individuals as yourself. A common mistake made by those in non-traditional relationships is to take their problems and issues to their traditional support systems. This rarely works because the traditional support system will inevitably blame the non-traditional relationship setup for the problem. This is not true, of course, but how would those in traditional relationships know otherwise.

I always suggest that those in non-traditional relationships bring their issues to their non-traditional support system. Here you are less likely to encounter judgments about your life choices and more help with overcoming the problems at hand.

Good luck

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Pump It Up

Name: Celia
Gender: female
Age: 22
Location: Chico
I think my clit is too small. I rarely have an orgasm through oral stimulation and never through intercourse. Is there anything I could do to make my clit bigger? Do they make “penis pumps” for women?

I never did hear of a too small of a clit, darlin’. Listen, there’s way more to your clitoris than what meets the eye. While it is clitoral anatomytrue that those adorable little pleasure buttons come in a wide variety of sizes, shapes, and colors. What is externally visible is only the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. Wanna know more? Use the Google, why don’t cha? Search for “clitoral anatomy.” You’ll be amazed at what you find. Did you know that your clit has a hood, head, and a shaft? The whole complex looks like this winged alien creature. And did you know that your clit’s only purpose is pleasure. Men don’t have anything that even faintly resembles this astonishing thing. And the head of your clit has 8,000 nerve endings? That’s double what a guy has in his much larger dickhead. Pretty gal-darn amazing, huh? So to my mind, clitoral size is not an issue.

During sexual arousal your clit, as well as your whole pussy, engorge with blood and change color, just like a guy’s cock does. The more the engorgement, the more sensitive the area becomes, just like for a guy. Thus, the more aroused you are; the more pleasure you will receive, just like a guy. clitProblem is, few women are afforded the time necessary to become fully aroused. Imagine if a guy was expected to perform sexually before he was fully aroused. He’d be trying to fuck with a limp dick. And you know how successful an event that would be.

Conquering a limp dick is precisely the genesis of the fabled penis pump you mention in your question. The Austrian inventor Otto Ledever reasoned that if a stiffy was all about blood flow then maybe he could come up with a device that would draw blood into a cock creating an erection where there wasn’t one before. In 1917, our hero patented an airtight cylinder topped by a bulb that created a vacuum within the chamber. Insert a limp dick — pump, pump, pump and tada! — An impressive erection resulted.

Well then, since girl parts are pretty much like boy parts, at least in terms of the whole blood flow thing; the same principle will indeed work for your parts, Celia, just as well as it would work for a dude’s parts. Which gets me to my answer to your question. Yes, my dear, there are “penis pumps” for women only they are called a Clitoral Suction Cylinder or a Vagina Suction Cylinder.

The purpose of the suction is to increase blood flow making your clit, and/or your whole pussy, more sensitive to the touch. And again, my point from above, the more sensitivity in the area, the more pleasure you will have from your own touch or that of a partner.

I invite you to visit Dr Dick’s Stockroom and take a look around.  You’ll see, in the left hand sidebar, a list of product categories. Under the main heading, Sex Toys, there is a subcategory titled, “Suction.”  Click on it. There you will find two more headings, one of which is “Nipple And Body.”  Click on it. There you will find loads of things that will make your clit sit up and take notice. Here’s a tip, most all the nipple suction devices will also work on your clit. And if you want to pump up your whole pussy, you can do that too. How fun!

Clitoral Suction Cylinder  Clitoral enlargement system

Now if you want to be all primed, so to speak, for an upcoming fuck fest with the BF, or whomever, do your pumping before the event begins. This will get you all engorged, sensitive and loaded for pleasure before your partner joins in the fun. In fact, if you get the hang of the whole pumping thing on your own first, you’ll be able to show your partner the ropes, as it were; so that he or she will be able to incorporate the pump-job into the sex play next time you’re together.

Good luck

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A Twofer Today

A couple of young lads with foreskin problems thousands of miles apart.

Name: Tom
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: California
Whenever I see the penises of other guys their skin always goes back exposing their head when they have an erection. When I’m hard my skin never goes all the way back. My head is always covered even when I have an erection and when I try to pull the skin back it wont. Is this normal?

and

Name: Matt
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Location: England
Hi, i’ve got a problem with my foreskin. when my penis is erect the foreskin doesn’t pull back over the head of my penis. I was wondering if this is easily corrected or will I need to be circumcised.

Let’s start at beginning, shall we? When us boys are born we all have a foreskin. A good portion of us will have our unit 4-Foreskin-stretchingseriously altered within days of showing up on the scene. Someone, possibly with good intentions, will lops off 50% of our cock skin and call it a day. I know, cuckoo, huh? Well, be that as it may, those of us who escape this dastardly deed have a foreskin, but it’s only open enough to pee through. And it only opens more if it’s stretched, and it only gets stretched if the owner of that foreskin pulls it back over his dickhead. No foreskin ever opens by itself; it gets gradually stretched open over time either intentionally or just through normal use.

Most little boys soon discover that pulling back their foreskin feels really good. After all, this unique piece of skin is chock full of nerve endings that register loads of delicious pleasure. A lad’s foreskin needs to be pushed back regularly, in order to stretch it open, and to keep it from shrinking shut again. It is important that the boy do this himself, so that it is pushed only as far back as feels comfortable to him.

Of course, there in lies the rub, so to speak. The sex-negative pressures of the prevailing culture, both here in the good old U.S. of A. as well as abroad, frown upon self-induced pleasure of any sort; even if it is associated with personal hygiene and necessary bodily upkeep. So most boys get the message that fiddlin’ around down there, even for the purpose of essential maintenance is a no-no. Simply put, without manual stretching a kid’s skin can actually shrink, closing up again.

foreskin stretch01As a young fella approaches puberty there is, as we all know, a growth spurt. What most of us fail to take into account is that along with his legs, arms, torso, head and feet, his cock is also growing. His dickhead is increasing in size, and if the kid hasn’t established a healthy routine of foreskin stretching there is gonna be trouble, like what’s happening for you guys.

Since parents are not likely to encourage self-discovery of this sort, nor are they inclined to show their young uncut sons how to properly care for this exceptional body part, the kid remains clueless till a problem arises. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler, as well as the responsible thing to do, for all parents with intact boys to pass on this priceless nugget of wisdom. It would be so easy to do while the kids are enjoying their bath. Parents could show their boys how to retract this fold of skin so that it stays supple, as well as getting things rinsed out underneath. They could encourage their boys to always pull back their lace curtains when they pee. Merely the number of times a fella will handle himself to piss will automatically keep things more lubricated and elastic.Foreskin-Stretching-2

Ok, I’m gonna guess that neither of you weren’t instructed on the proper care of your natural cock. Am I right? So now ya’ll have some remedial work to do. Let’s start with a few foreskin stretching exercises.

Exercise 1 — While you’re dick is soft; retract your foreskin as far back as you can. Work two fingers in under your hood till you can touch the head of your dick. Now attempt to roll your hood forward and over your fingers. It’s like docking another dick, only you’re using your fingers. This exercise depends on you having your fingers inside your foreskin for it to be effective. In time you’ll be able to add three fingers, instead of just two. This will stretch your skin to the point you’ll be able to easily retract it over your erect dickhead.

foreskin stretchExercise 2 — Grab each side of the foreskin opening and gently pull each side apart. Stretch the opening till it’s stretched with a tension you can tolerate, but that is not actually painful. Hold for a count of 10 and release. Repeat for 5 sets of 10 pulls per day, more if you can handle it. Here’s a tip, these stretches are best done after soaking in a warm bath or a long hot shower.

Exercise 3 — This is a variation on exercise 1. Insert a smooth cylindrical object into your foreskin opening, like the cork from a wine bottle. This object needs to be just large enough to stretch the skin without pain. Once inserted, leave it there for as long as you can during the day, or for over night. As your foreskin stretches you want to swap the one object for another with a larger diameter. If a wine cork is too big to start with, consider a smaller smooth plastic rubber plugsdowel or a rubber bung plug. You can find these sorts of things at the hardware store. You might need to use a bit of surgical tape to keep these stretchers in place.

These exercises may sound a bit invasive or uncomfortable, and perhaps they will be at first. But don’t worry; you’ll live. In a short period of time you will have a much more pliable foreskin, one that you can retract at will and with ease. And when you’re sexually active with a partner, it will work flawlessly and exponentially increase your pleasure.

Good luck

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