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The Erotic Mind of John Woods & Cass King – Podcast #213 – 06/21/10


Hey sex fans,

HAPPY SOLSTICE EVERYONE! Damn, this year is flying by. It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago that we were welcoming spring. Sheesh!

So remember how I promised you a knock-you-out line up of guests for our special Pride month shows? Well then, I got something for you today that’ll sure enough make you sit up and take note. In fact, we’re off on another audio field trip, one that will take us to the Theater Off Jackson, here in Seattle. We’re gonna visit with John Woods & Cass King, the exceptional talent behind the wildly popular and deliciously sexy vaudevillians known as The Wet Spots.

John & Cass are in town to produce their first full-fledged musical stage production called SHINE: A Burlesque Musical, which will run from JULY 8th through the 18th. They’ve invited us to drop by to visit with them between rehearsals. And I don’t mind telling you that I’m more than a little stage struck. I mean give me the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the crowd and I’m a happy guy.

Besides the sparkling conversation, which brings a whole new dimension to The Erotic Mind podcast series, our guests will share with us one of their brand new songs, written expressly for the show. Get ready to be bowled over!

John & Cass and I discuss:

  • Vulgarity, filth and perversion? Maybe not so much!
  • The Wet Spots — a husband and wife team from the golden age of comedy.
  • How they got their act together.
  • The universal appeal of sex humor.
  • Their queer following.
  • The intensity of living and working together and their polly marriage.
  • Producing SHINE: A Burlesque Musical.
  • Their new songs for the show.
  • The creative process.
  • A musical about show business — a very old tradition.

John & Cass invite you to visit the SHINE: A Burlesque Musical website HERE! Or the Wet Spots website HERE! They’re on Facebook too, HERE and HERE!



Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.


Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site —

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the You’ll be so glad you did.


Ring My Bell

It’s Product Review Friday and we’re back with yet another LELO product, or as they like to call them — Pleasure Objects.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie is ready and willing to show us around.

MONA Red —— $139

I’ve been watching for and reading about how many of my fellow Review Crew members have been enjoying their LELO toys. I don’t mind telling you that I have been more than a little envious of my friends, their toys and all the fun they’ve had. But now I finally have my very own LELO to tell you about.

This beautiful Pleasure Object is called MONA. And she is all LELO. By that I mean she comes in her own LELO signature packaging. Actually there are layers and layers of packaging. Inside the bright red glossy outer package there is a black matte finish inner box with a lift-off lid. Inside that there is an embossed lift-out carton that contains the vibe itself. Under that there are two separate compartments; one containing a satin drawstring storage bag and the recharging unit and the other containing a warranty pamphlet, an elaborate multi-language user manual and a glossy mini catalog of some of their products. Is this too much packaging? I’m sure many will think so. But it is a beautiful presentation for those lucky enough to be receiving MONA as a gift.

Once inside the box I am surprised to discover that MONA is considerably smaller than the packaging suggests. It’s just less than 8″ long, with an insertable length of no more than 4″. The insertable end is flared; a bulbous oval that is actually a very modest size. The thickest part being only about 4.5″, which slims down the curved shaft to down to about 2.75”. This makes it great for G-spot stimulation.

The vibrations can be used for clitoral stimulation as well. The insertable part of MONA has a soft and luscious red silicone skin (it also comes in purple) that is hypoallergenic. She sports a sweetly quiet motor that delivers the multi-speed and multi-pulsations. And the best part is she’s rechargeable! I love that I’ll never have to feed her batteries to make me happy. And when she’s happy; she make me VERY happy!

You must only use a water based lube with this silicone beauty. And you must keep your hands free of lubricant in order to adjust the controller. This wasn’t always easy to do. In fact, if I had to nitpick, I’d have to say that the controller was more difficult to use than I would have ever imagined. I wonder if others have a similar experience?

Like I noticed that the pulsations didn’t always change when I pressed the up button. In fact, I was certain I had broken MONA at one point, because nothing happened when I pressed the buttons. Maybe I just needed to apply more pressure or be more patient or something. But the indicator light in the controller went on, so I assumed that was all that needed to make things happen. In my estimation, the controller is the weakest part of the LELO design.

MONA comes already charged, which is very thoughtful. And it is so easy to charge. Just plug in the adapter and let it juice itself up. But be mindful that MONA should not be charged for more than 24 hours, as she will overheat. Here’s something else I noticed, when I used the highest speed and the steady vibration, I noticed a “singing” sound that concerned me a bit. I thought perhaps I was overly stressing MONA. As I precaution, I decided to dial her down, so to speak. I didn’t want to knock her out.

Here’s something really important you should know; MONA is splash proof, not waterproof. There is little rubber cover that protects the charging port from moisture. But if you somehow get water in there, which is very easy to do; or worse lube, be sure to let the thing dry completely before you try to recharge.

Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

MONA sleeps in her satin storage bag, where she waits for me to arouse her. And she is always glad to see me. MONA comes with a 1-year warranty that covers her working parts. Her 10 year guarantee states that if anything goes wrong with MONA at any time in the 10 years you own her, you can return her for disposal, and LELO will give you 50% off your next order from their web store. So there’s that.
Full Review HERE

Just a teensy bit naughty

It’s Product Review Friday and we veer a little to the kinkier side of things. Thanks to our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com we have a handful of edgier toys to tell you about.

Here to spread the news are Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise, Christa, Jack & Karen and Brad.

So without further ado…

Leather Wrist Restraints W/Red Hearts —— $39.20

Ken & Denise
Denise: “We scored big time with these fantastic Leather Wrist Restraints. These things are the real deal too.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was hoping we’d finally score some good kinky shit, because we were getting tired of reviewing the awful stuff that had been coming our way lately.”
Denise: “So true! But these beautiful black Leather Wrist Restraints with the playful red leather heart inlay design make up for recent disappointments.”
Ken: “Like Denise said; these are the real deal — sturdy black leather and metal studs and buckles. Very hot!”
Denise: “They are comfortable, because they are totally adjustable. There are 11 holes for the buckle. I have very small wrists and Ken has massive wrists and these Leather Wrist Restraints fit us both. They don’t have a lining, like some restraints I’ve seen, but the leather is soft and the edges are sealed and rounded so they don’t cut off my circulation when I’m wearing them.”
Ken: “They also work as ankle restraints for Denise, because she is so petite. But they aren’t big enough for my ankles. I wonder; do they make matching ankle restraints in a men’s size?”
Denise: “If you think you may enjoy a little role-play or power-play, these are the Leather Wrist Restraints for you. They are relatively inexpensive, but they are built to last.
Full Review HERE

Keeping with our heart theme…

25.5” Red Metallic Heart Bat —— $24.93

They call this thing a Red Metallic Heart Bat, but it looks, feels and handles more like a riding crop. But whatever you call it, it is fuckin SWEET!

I brought the Red Metallic Heart Bat home the other day; pulled it out of the bag and I thought my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex , was gonna swoon. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. He’s like this total ass whore. I was his first girlfriend to finger him and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time. So now I have a little something to smack his ass with when I’m pegging the livin’ daylights out of him.

A crop is not as painful as a paddle, but it still offers up a great sting. And if you smack the bare skin just right, besides getting a very satisfying snap, you get this adorable heart imprint. Nothing says love to your sub like a heart-shaped welt on his behind.

The Red Metallic Heart Bat is exceptionally stylish as well as being very practical. It’s 25.5” long; it has black plastic stitching up the length of the stem, which is topped off with the red leather heart. It has a leatherette handle with nice metal finishings.

I have to admit I got totally wet the first time I used this crop on Alex. I had him bend over the arm of the couch and drop his drawers. He, of course, obediently obliged me. I came up behind him and began to tickle his ass and balls with Red Metallic Heart Bat. He immediately got hard and started to ooze precum. I spread his legs farther apart and lubed up his hole. I had his favorite butt plug lubed and ready. As I placed it against his pucker and pressed it home, I brought down the crop with a snap. I swear; Alex didn’t know what hit him. He let out with an animal like sound; a kind of howl and a scream together, so I knew I hit my mark, both literally and figuratively.
Full Review HERE

Nipplettes Purple —— $20.45

Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look like clothes pins with the bullet vibe inside the top of the clamp. They are made of plastic with a rubber coating that makes them even less scary to play with.”
Jack: “They are battery operated, but not waterproof. The package says they are waterproof, but they are NOT. So be careful there. Karen mentioned they are adjustable; and they are. You adjust them by twisting a small plastic screw on the base of the clamp.”
Karen: “The vibe is relatively quiet, but they do have a tendency to rattle, which was a little annoying.”
Jack: “We found that Nipplettes can only be used while laying down. Since the clamping action isn’t very strong they tend to fall off if you’re standing of sitting. This was the really annoying part. I mean if you can’t move around while they’re on, what good are they?”
Karen: “Oh, and we happily discovered that Nipplettes are not just for your nipples. In fact, I think they are better suited to other parts of the body.  I used them on my labia and clit and totally loved it. Jack used them on his foreskin and his testicles, and he like that a lot too.”
Full Review HERE

Finally, we have…

Pecker Ball Gag —— $9.59

I though to myself, so ok I know this isn’t a professional grade ball gag, but it could be fun. And I was right…at least the first couple of times me and the GF played around with the Pecker Ball Gag.

It has this soft, little penis shaped gag the size and shape of a Champagne cork. It’s not really a gag, because you actually bite down on it. So it’s more like for show than it is for serious. But we knew this is just for fun and it would be the perfect thing for beginners.

The “gag” stays in place by means of an adjustable leather strap, which is pretty sturdy, but not all that long. So if you have a big head like me, you won’t be the one wearing the gag.

So far so good, right?

Unfortunately there are these two other little straps on either side of the gag that that connects it to the sturdy neck strap and they are like totally fuckin lame. We used the Pecker Ball Gag exactly twice before one of the little straps broke rendering the entire thing useless. WTF? This just goes to show you that a toy is only as good as its weakest part.
Full Review HERE


Battle Of The Strokers

Holy cow sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we have something truly unique for you today. In honor of NATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, which everyone knows starts tomorrow, 05/01/10; we bring you our first annual stroke-off.

That’s right people; three of The Dr Dick Review Crew’s most able-bodied men — Jack, Kevin and Hank volunteered to bust a nut while using one of the three new masturbators we got from our new friends at Adult Sex Toys .com.

To paraphrase the old saying: To the Victor Goes The Spooge!

Sue Johanson Head Honcho —— $13.97

I’m up first today with the Head Honcho, a sex toy endorsed by sex educator and host of television’s Sex Talk With Sue Johanson.  This thing is supposed to mimic a blowjob. Well, I’ve had my share of hummers and the Head Honcho doesn’t come close to a blowjob.

One thing I want to point out from the start. The Adult Sex Toys .com says that the Head Honcho is made of silicone. But it is not silicone. That’s gotta be a typo, because it is really made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), or so says the packaging. Actually, when I first pulled it out of the box I thought for sure it was jelly latex. Hey, maybe there’s no difference between the two.

At any rate, this mystery material surely contain latex and phthalates; I looked it up online. And for me phthalates are a no no. That’s strike 1! It has a cloying chemical smell, which also kinda smells like cherry Kool-Aid. Ick!  Dr Dick calls off gas.  This was a boner killer let me tell ya. This is strike 2.

I decided to wash it to rid it of some of the smell. The bath helped, but then the Head Honcho got all sticky. I tried to dry it off with a towel, but that made matters worse. It got all linty and gross. This was strike 3. I was about to skip the whole damn thing when I called Dr Dick for advice. He told me to let it completely air dry then dust it with body powder or cornstarch. This was supposed to cut down on the stickiness. This intervention sorta saved the day.

With all that prep work behind me I finally settled down to some hot porn, some nice water based lube and the considerably less tacky Head Honcho. Because the masturbator is so soft and floppy, it was hard to plug my cock into the mouth-shaped aperture in the front of the toy. Besides that, the hole isn’t very big and I’m pretty hung, so there’s that. Strike 4!

Once I finally got it on my cock I could feel the suction chambers in the neck of the toy. That was kinda cool. But again something happened that killed my boner. There is no bottom or closed base to this thing. And before I knew it the lube I used in the Head Honcho to pave the way for my cock began to dribble out the base. Ok, so that was my fault, not the fault of the toy. But damn, that sure as hell wrecked the moment.

I did finally finish myself off this one time with the Head Honcho. It was a pretty ok nut.  But considering the work I had to do just to squeeze one out, it hardly seems worth the effort.
Full Review HERE

COLT Power Stroker —— $16.02

The masturbator I got is called the COLT Power Stroker. It’s a pint-sized thing that looks like a hand grenade. I’m serious! I mean what marketing genius came up with this concept? I just shook my head in disbelief.

Ok, I won’t hold the shape against it. To each his own, right? But I think I do have a legitimate quarrel with the size. It’s so small! It’s not even 5” tall. I’m not hung like a horse or anything, but common on! This means the only part of your dick that will get massaged with this thing is the tip.

The grenade shape does have one advantage; it’s easy to hold on to. The ridges on the shaft and the notch at the base make for a firm grip even with lubed hands.

The packaging says the Power Stroker is super tight, yet stretchy. Both of those claims are true, especially the super tight claim. Like I said, I have a normal sized dick, but the Power Stroker was difficult for me to invade…to continue the war metaphor.

The packaging also says that the Power Stroker is made of a NEW Futurotic Material. WHAT? Another marking ploy, I guess. I actually took the time to look this up online. Apparently this material contains latex and phthalates. Let’s face it; you can’t have something this soft and squishy without phthalates. So if you can’t do with out soft and squishy, then live with the consequences. But you should know that phthalates are a potential hazard to your reproductive health.

The Power Stroker didn’t have much of a chemical smell. It also came with it’s own little container of powder to dust it with after cleaning. This is a very thoughtful addition. Because if you don’t dust it with powder after cleaning the NEW Futurotic Material gets really tacky and can actually start to break down. This gets me to another point; don’t store this, or any jelly latex toy near another such toy. There will be a chemical reaction that will melt them both. Scary stuff, right?
Full Review HERE

Stroker Xl —— $34.96

I came away with what I think is the ideal masturbation sleeve. Here is the Stroker Xl, which is made of 100% silicone. There’s no topping that for quality, durability and ease of care.

The silicone in the Stroker Xl is much softer and more supple than I expected. In fact, is so flexible that you can turn it inside out with ease. The outside of the sleeve is smooth; yet, I had no problem getting grip on it even with slightly lubed up hands. The inside has numerous waves, which provide a really nice massaging action on my cock. I really like the fact that the opening (and you can use either end) is wide enough to accommodate my big wiener. If I have to struggle to insert my cock into something, especially a toy; forgetaboutit!

The Stroker Xl is an opaque white color. There’s nothing fussy about it and it doesn’t have that faux flesh feeling to it. And that’s because silicone doesn’t contain harmful Phthalates that would make other materials soft and squishy.  And you know Phthalates can be harmful to your health, right?

I had a ball bustin my nut with the Stroker Xl. I grabbed me some water-based lube and slathered it all over my johnson. I was able to pierce the sleeve with ease, yet there was enough friction for some mighty fine pleasure. One drawback is that the sleeve is open at both ends. This doesn’t allow for a vacuum effect that a lot of the other masturbators I’ve tried create. I mean it’s no big thing, because depending on the strength of my grip, I can do a lot of the same thing with just my hand.

It’s kind of a short sleeve, just sort of 6”. That’s not a problem, because I liked seeing my dickhead come out the top with each stroke. After my first very successful stroke session I had two more in the next 36 hours. I plan on keeping the Stroker Xl handy for those “I really need to get off right now” moments. I seem to have a lot of those.

Again, clean up is a snap. Warm soapy water does the trick. It air dries easy enough too. And there is no tacky, sticky effects that happens with those squishy sleeves. In fact, you can even sterilize the Stroker Xl by boiling it; running it through the dishwasher; or wiping it down with a 10% bleach or peroxide solution.
Full Review HERE


The Erotic Mind of Heidi Champa — Podcast #202 — 04/26/10

Hey sex fans,

After the last couple of weeks of nothing but Q&A, I am so happy to get back to The Erotic Mind podcast series today. And boy, do I ever have an exceptionally charming…and I might add smutty…guest for you to meet. I’m delighted to welcome Heidi Champa to the show.

Today we travel to the wilds of south-central Pennsylvania to spend some time with Heidi in her natural habitat. We discover that lurking behind her mild-mannered and unassuming exterior there is an erotic powerhouse. We also discover that she is just hitting her stride as a published author. So look out world! Which only reinforces my belief that there is a creative erotic impulse hidden in all of us; that once let loose it will transform us and our world. Exciting stuff this, sex fans!

And to show you what I mean, Heidi will read a tantalizing selection from the fruit of her Erotic Mind. It’ll make you want to touch yourself impurely; I promise.

Heidi and I discuss:

  • Her website and her collection of stunning eye candy.
  • Why she self-identifies as a smut peddler.
  • Writing under her real name.
  • Who is this Heidi Champa person anyway?
  • What, in her life, sparks her erotic creations.
  • The skill necessary for creating petite yet powerful works of art.
  • Writing a “snapshot”.
  • Using words that arouse as well as startle.

Heidi invites you to visit her on her website HERE! Or find her on Facebook HERE!

Click on the cover art below to purchase books.


Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.


Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site —

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the You’ll be so glad you did.


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