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Show him around, why don’t cha?

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Name: Frankie
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Location: Juneau
Dr. Dick, I have been married for about 6 years and my husband and I have a great relationship. But I’m unsatisfied with our sex life. Here’s the thing. When I masturbate I cum, but I don’t when I have sex with my husband. When I was in college I had a NSA (no strings attached) sexual relationship with this guy. Neither one of us had an emotion attachment to the other, but it was great sex. Is it possible the reason I can’t cum with my husband is a breakdown between my emotions and my orgasms?

I think you’re asking if it is possible for a person to get off with a relative stranger (a NSA kinda connection), but have difficulty fully enjoying sex with someone they truly love. Is that about the size of it?

If I’m on target here, than the answer is yes, absolutely. This is more likely to be a bugaboo for women than men, but a lotta people experience a disconnect between sex and intimacy for one reason or another. If you can get off on your own and/or in a zip less fuck, but not with your old man, then I’d say you might be experiencing such a rift.bound_male.03

Sometime this has to do with upbringing. If you were socialized as a girl to believe that sex is dirty, or at least not particularly wholesome; then you may find it difficult putting love and sex together. Or if you were taught as a girl to think that women who enjoy sex are whores; then you may find it difficult putting devotion and passion together.

Of course, your problem might simply be that your college beau was a much better cocksmith than your hubby. He may have had the key, so to speak, to unlocking your orgasm.

Let’s start here. On the scale of 1-10, 10 being “World-Class Lover,” how would you rate your husband? If he is less then an 8, you’re gonna have to show him how to become a 10. Since many women require direct clitoral stimulation to get off, I suggest you have your old man stimulate your clitoris with his mouth, fingers or a vibrator. Have him do this before, during after, or even instead of fucking. Also, you gotta let him know precisely the way you like and need to be touched. This will go a long way towards increasing your sexual pleasure and satisfaction, which is the foundation to having orgasms. He will benefit too and become a much better lover.

restraintsThis is why I’m such a big proponent of mutual masturbation, even…or should I say especially…for folks in exclusive and long-term relationships. I like to think of it as a way of checking in with one another about the all important arousal stage of our sexual response cycle, which changes with time. Do yourself a favor and invite your hubby to a little show. If you think you might be a wee bit shy for just dropping trou and jilling-off for him, make this part of your sex play. Try a little erotic bondage; have him sit up in a chair or lie back in bed. Restrain his hands and arms and possibly his legs and feet as well using a belt, necktie, or silk scarf.

When you’re certain he won’t be able to use his hands to reach for you while you’re doing your show and tell, let the tour of your lady parts begin. Straddle his chest or lap, and bring your pussy up close to his face. Start by pointing out all the amazing features of your own unique vulva. Make this part instructional, but also naughty too. Stick your fingers in your hubby’s mouth and get them all slick with spit, then finger yourself. Get your own juices flowing and diddle your clit. It’ll be the most fantastic lap (face) dance he’ll ever have.

This is the ideal time for some dirty talk or reading erotic aloud. The more tuned on you are the better it will be for him too. Show him how you bring yourself to orgasm. Feel free to include lots of lube and a toy or two. Remember, this is all about you, but for his benefit. I can assure you it will be instructive for him and liberating for you. And most of all it will be hot, steamy fun for you both. And it won’t involve fucking. Once you’ve gotten yourself off a time or two, undo his restraints and let him do the same to and for you. Who know what wonderfully erotic doors will open for you both through this exercise.

Good luck

Take a look at all the interesting and smutty stuff I’ve collected on my new Tumbler page HERE!

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Naturally

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Hey sex fans!

Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we feature the second of three products that came to us from a marvelous Israeli company, Joya 4U. If you somehow missed the first of our reviews you can find it HERE.

Today we welcome back Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie. We’ve missed you ma’am! And we’re so glad you’re back with us.

Little Su Natural —— $38.41

Angie

After an all-together too long hiatus from the Dr Dick Review Crew I’m happily back where I belong. Thanks for the warm welcome back, Dr Dick.

I was absent for so long because I had a little medical issue that I needed to attend to. Actually, it was a big medical concern. I was diagnosed with lymphoma over a year ago. One of these days I’d like to do some writing about my cancer diagnosis and treatment and how these things impacted me, my husband and our sex life. But until that day comes, let’s just say it was an adventure. A difficult, confusing and often painful adventure, but an adventure nonetheless.

There is precious little information about sex and sexuality available to cancer survivors. No one seemed to be capable of speaking clearly and unambiguously about how a diagnosis and treatment can impact a person’s intimate life. This conspiracy of silence has got to stop!

See, don’t get me started. Well, actually, this is precisely where I want to start.

The only way I knew how to work my way back to being a sexual being, for myself, and a sexual partner, for my husband, was through masturbation.

My self-loving exercises began slowly and tentatively, but I still made progress. My husband was lovingly supportive, which was a really good thing. I am so blessed.

All this gets me to my review of the Little Su Natural. This delightful insertable is my new friend. And the curious thing is, it’s not a vibrator.

The beautiful packaging refers to Little Su Natural as a dildo, but I think that generic designation does it a disservice. This 100% medical grade silicone insertable is much more versatile than any other dildo I’ve ever used. It’s so flexible; you can use it alone, or with a partner. And you can use it vaginally or anally. It relatively small as insertable go, it’s only about 4.5” long with a diameter of slightly over 1.25”.

I’d like to direct your attention to the user manual that comes with the Little Su Natural. Here you will find detailed written instructions and illustrations depicting various methods of using Little Su Natural. For example, when the thick bulbous end is inserted vaginally it brings the sculptured tail in contact with your clitoris. Rubbing or rocking on a bed or pillow delivers intense pleasure. The Little Su Natural is also ideal for tightening you PC (pubococcygeus) muscle. As part of my post cancer rehabilitation I’ve rededicated myself to doing my kegel exercises, which has revitalized the sensations I feel internally.

The Little Su Natural works just as well in partnered play. I insert it as I would when I am alone, but when I’m with my husband; I straddle his thigh and rock myself to pleasure or he will use his hand to rock it for me. This position gives me more control over the kind of stimulation I want and need. I learned that having control, like this, was particularly important to me when I was first reinvestigating my sexual response after chemo.

I hasten to add that you can only use water-based lube with this silicone toy.

Clean up is a snap! Warm water and mild soap will do for everyday cleaning. If you are looking to share your Little Su Natural, and I think you should, then you must sanitize it. This is easily done by dropping it into a pot of boiling or putting it through a cycle in the dishwasher.

As much as I admired the stylish packaging, the foam insert inside the box, which holds the Little Su Natural, has a bit of an unpleasant odor. I decided to get rid of that and replace it with folded hand towel. That way I can continue to use the box for storage.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Bloomin’ Brilliant!

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Hey there sex fans!

Welcome to another edition of Product Review Friday!

Despite the fact that we’ve been on spring break, the intrepid Dr Dick Review Crew never rests. In fact Review Crew member, Jada, apparently diddled herself senseless over the holiday. And she’s here to tell us what kept her so preoccupied.

Bloom —— $103.86

Jada
My husband and I went away for a long overdue romantic get away. It just so happened that it coincided with our Spring Break here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice so we didn’t miss anything back home. We decided we needed a little fun in the sun so we headed south to warmer, dryer climes.

We packed light; because we decided we would do nothing more than lay around in the sun, read, eat, drink and make love. There were droves of collage-aged kids in the area and they were whooping it up with wild abandon. Ahhh youth! But you know what? I think my husband, Bob, and I, old fogies that we are, at least comparatively speaking, had more fun than all the college kids.

One of the reason we had so much fun is I remembered to packed the Bloom I got from Dr Dick. This amazing vibe is one of the Leaf collection. It is a 100% medical-grade silicone vibrator with multiple speed settings. It is beautifully crafted, waterproof, flexible, sharable, rechargeable and as about as GREEN as a sex toy can get.

The Bloom is aptly named, because it looks like bud on a stem. I’ve never seen a more interesting or functional design. There are two motors in the Bloom, one in the bud and one in the bulbous base. The bud, or head of the toy, is rounded, but with a slight point. This design allows for precise clitoral stimulation. The thin area of the stem, or neck of the toy, is flexible, allowing you to position both ends of the toy however you’d like. The dual motors provide equally powerful vibrations no matter which side you are using.

The controls are super easy to use. The Bloom can be used in so many ways, internally, externally, alone and with a partner. The non-threatening design — Bob does not welcome phallic looking vibes in our partnered play — makes the Bloom a natural for when we play together.

Bob loves using the Bloom on me. I love using it on him. And because of its flexibility, we both love to use it while we have intercourse. Both ends are insertable. Bob isn’t into prostate massage, but for those who are, the Bloom would make a very nice beginner butt plug. Of course, because the controller is in the base, one would have to set the vibration speed before inserting.

The silicone is velvety to the touch and easy to grip. Use only a water-based lube with beautiful vibe. A silicone-based lube will surely mar the finish.

The Bloom is a modest 6.75″ long. The bud, at its widest, has a 4.25” circumference. Its lightweight too, weighing in at just about one pound. There are two buttons on the control panel, each button controls a separate motor. Each button lights up when it is in operation and the lights will flash until you reach the highest setting. Each of the motors can be controlled individually as well as at the same time. The Bloom is super quiet too.

The Bloom contains a rechargeable Lithium-Polymer battery. A full charge gives you about an hour’s worth of vibration, on the highest speed. The recharger is basically a cord that plugs directly into an outlet. This is perfect for traveling.

The silicone skin makes for easy clean up. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share this toy, and it should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

I think you can see that I am sold on the Bloom, but I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about the beautiful presentation. Everything about the packaging is biodegradable. The cardboard box Bloom comes in is made of recycled paper. The look and feel is all GREEN. The box is fastened with a magnetically closing flap. Lift the flap, to open. Inside the box you will see a black packet, which contains the instruction manual presented in several languages. Below the user’s manual is a drawstring canvas bag containing the Bloom. The bag is thick and durable, excellent for storing this toy and keeping it safe. Under the canvas bag is the unit’s recharger. You can tell from every aspect of the presentation that the designers and developers were serious about the environment. Kudos to them!
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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The Prostate Toy Interview

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Hey sex fans,

This being Friday and all, you’re probably expecting a product review. Well sorry to disappoint, but the entire Dr Dick Review Crew is still working their naughty bits to the bone, so to speak, so we’ll have to wait on posting new reviews till another day.

But not to worry, because I have something else that’s charming and delightful for you. Keeping with the sex toy theme I offer you this interview I did with a leading toy company. I figure if the toy company was interested in my thoughts, perhaps you, my dear readers, would be too.

1. Hey Dr Dick, you look like a rather wholesome gentleman, what prompted you to become a Sexologist?

Wholesome? Looks are so deceiving, aren’t they?

I came to this work in a most unorthodox fashion. It is certainly not something I ever aspired to do.

I was a Catholic priest at the time. I was ordained in 1975. (I am the only Catholic priest in the world with a doctorate in Clinical Sexology.) In 1981 I completed my post-graduate work with the publication of my doctoral thesis concerning the sexual attitudes and behaviors of gay Catholic priests in the active ministry. This was unprecedented research back then (and even now, for that matter). There was a firestorm of international publicity. I was soon to be known as “The Gay Priest”. (Yeah, like if I was the only one.) Needless to say, this notoriety (some say infamy) effectively ended my public priesthood. I fought the Vatican for the next 15 years, from 1981-1996, in an attempt to salvage my ministry, but in the end it was a lost cause. No surprise there, I suppose.

My career as a therapist in San Francisco coincided with the advent of HIV/AIDS (1981). My practice evolved into working primarily with sick, elder and dying people. In the mid-90’s I founded a nonprofit organization, PARADIGM, Enhancing Life Near Death. It was an outreach for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder and dying people. This was brilliant cutting-edge work. Alas, I couldn’t find the proper funding to continue. This precipitated a rather sudden move to Seattle in 1999.

I continued to work with sick and dying people here, in Seattle. I started to develop programming for women newly diagnosed with ovarian cancer and men with prostate cancer. I wanted to create videos for people experiencing life threatening and/or disfiguring illnesses to help them deal with reintegrating sex and intimacy into their lives post diagnosis. I soon realized that I would need to fund these projects on my own. No mainline foundation would touch the issue of sex. Faced with how I might do that, some friends prevailed on me to shoot porn. The rational was; I would make loads of money and I could then subsidize my heart’s desire. Thus Daddy Oohhh! Productions was born.

Unfortunately, the “load of money” part never materialized. But at the time, I figured that, since I was actually shooting porn, I would create projects that were different in style and tone from what currently ruled the marketplace. The Daddy Oohhh line features a whole lot more romance, allure and seduction rather than just bumping parts.

2. What are the most common issues you come across during your workshops and counseling?

I continue to be surprised by how few people actually believe there is an essential goodness to sexuality, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.

I see so much unhappiness and anxiety when a person’s sex-negative attitudes alienate them from their own body and the bodies of others. These uninformed attitudes affect not only a person’s sex life, but also his/her ability to relate well with others.

I believe that sexual wellbeing is more than simply being able to perform. It also means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of one’s personality and involvement with others. Between the extremes of total sexual repression and relentless sexual pursuit, a person can find that unique place, where he/she is free to live a life of self-respect, enjoyment and love.

My workshops and counseling practice aim is to provide information and guidance to help people approach their unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner, as well as further their independent growth, personal integrity, and have a more joyful experience of living.

3. Everyone seems to be aware of the female G-spot. However, the male equivalent, the P-spot, is shrouded in mystery and taboo. Would you mind explaining what that’s all about?

You’ll excuse me for being contrary, but it is my personal crusade to dissuade people from using the term “male G-Spot”.

Frankly, I don’t see a rationale for talking about the prostate as if it were something akin to the female G-spot. Because that’s like saying a clit is a female penis. And to tell you the truth; I even have difficulty with the overly cutesy term, “P-Spot”.

The G-spot got its moniker because folks couldn’t remember its proper name, the Grafenberg Spot. (It was named after the physician who first wrote about it.) But we don’t need that kind of shorthand for the word prostate, do we? I certainly hope not.

If the prostate is indeed shrouded in mystery and taboo, as you suggest, it’s likely because it’s buried inside a guy’s ass. And our culture is pretty ass-phobic.

Luckily, I see all of this changing. More and more men are discovering a pleasure zone they’ve not known before. And thanks to the growing number prostate-related sex toys in the marketplace this self-discovery can be fun as well as informative.

4. What can men do to enjoy this little gland?

• First, cut and file smooth your fingernails. And before you start playing with your hole, relax.
• Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to help you do that.
• Have a ready supply of a water-based or silicone-based lube handy.
• Start with a nice hand job. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand to get yourself into your happy place.
• Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint (perineum). While your legs are open find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your finger in just yet. Simply let this time be for getting used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
• Next, let your play include the tip of your middle finger entering your ass.
• If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
• Once you’re comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Then try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
• Once your finger is about an inch or so inside your ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the upper wall of your rectum. You’ll discover a firm, round and flat surface the size of a walnut. This is your prostate. You can only feel this small part of the whole gland, but you will know it when you touch it. It is full of delicious nerve endings and it will give you jolt of pleasure.
• Remember, your prostate shouldn’t be hard to find, particularly if you’re all horned up from pullin’ your pud. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
• Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you’re still stroking your cock, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you off. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes firmer just as you are about to shoot your load.
• As you cum you will also notice that your ass-sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt. How fun is that?

5. If you enjoy prostate stimulation, does that make you gay?

It certainly would if only gay men had prostates.

6. Is there a difference between a prostate orgasm and a penile orgasm?

Technically, I suppose there is.

Clearly some men do get off on prostate stimulation alone. However, an orgasm (not the same thing as an ejaculation, mind you) is a complex physiological — muscular and neurological — response. Just like our genitals are a composite of parts that work together to bring us joy; so too are our orgasms.

Finding and massaging your prostate is a wonderful thing. But there’s one thing for certain; your prostate has been involved in your orgasmic response from the very beginning, long before you discovered it.

7. Are there any health benefits to prostate stimulation?

Yeah, you betcha! It’s fun, it’s healthful and it’s sexually enriching.

Massaging your prostate stimulates blood flow and that brings more oxygen to your prostate. Unwanted bacteria that grow in your prostate can be removed more efficiently through massage. Fat and proteins can also accumulate over time, which can cause infection or even lead to tumor growth if not flushed from time to time. Massaging your prostate can assist with this.

Studies show that a prostate massage is an effective means of keeping your prostate healthy without the use of pharmaceuticals or resorting to surgery. And of course it also helps a guy become less cock-centric and less ass-phobic. So it’s a win/win situation.

8. Are there any dangers?

Not really. Just remember to use lots of lube, because your asshole doesn’t create its own lubrication. Always start off slowly. And don’t put anything in your bum that isn’t designed for that purpose. All anal toys — massagers, vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, dildos and the like — must have a handle on them and/or an oversized base that will prevent the toy from accidentally slipping up into your ass.

9. Finally, do you have any wise words for our prostate loving readers?

Once you’ve discovered the joys of prostate stimulation on your own, why not invite your partner(s) to join in the fun. And always use quality toys. Choose nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free materials. Waterproof toys are also highly recommended. Because keeping your toys clean and sanitized is a real big part of enjoying your or someone else’s prostate.

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Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 4

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Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 4 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week all our products come from our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel —— $10.93

Dixie
I have a fantastic gift giving suggestion for anyone on your list who loves a good bubble bath or shower gel. Let me tell you about this marvelous Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel from the equally marvelous Canadian company, Shunga Products.

First, you should know that I’m a gal who adores her bath time. It’s precious time for just me. I bracket off as much time for myself as I possibly can. I soak, read, contemplate and often enjoy one of my favorite waterproof vibrators while in my bath. My partner, Joy, says she thinks I could live in my bath. She’s not far off base on that. I’m also a connoisseur of luscious bath products like this Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel.

It contains peppermint oil, vitamin E, and aloe vera. The peppermint provides the fragrance and a lovely tingling sensation, which refreshes as well as arouses. It also contains glycerin. This would be a problem for me if the glycerin were a lube and I was using it internally, but in this instance the glycerin isn’t an issue for me.

The Shunga Bath and Shower gel is available in two flavors/fragrances — erotic fruits and sensual mint. Both are editable! Joy says she can taste the mint in my skin after my bath. Listen, if I can get in my bath time, get all aroused while doing so, have my lover tell me that I taste delicious and that she wants more; well then, I’ve hit the jackpot.

Probably you are already familiar with a bath/shower gel, right? You use it like a liquid soap in the shower or as a bubble bath in the bath. It suds up very well on a washcloth and bubbles up beautifully when added to running bath water.

Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel contains several vegetable oils like almond oil, grape seed oil, avocado oil, sesame oil and salflower oil. All these work marvels softening my skin. And there’s never a sticky or greasy residue. The mint aroma opens up my sinuses and wakes me up.
Full Review HERE!

Champagne Lights —— $4.93

Joy
While Dixie was enjoying her Sensual Mint Shower/Bath Gel. I was busy with these two unique aromatherapy candles called Champagne Lights. I have a pink one and a green one. Unfortunately, nothing on the 4oz glass jar packaging that I have identifies the scent. I had to look online to find the answer to this perplexing question. The pink one is French Vanilla; the green one is Pear Blossom. Don’t know why my candles aren’t marked, but there ya have it.

Both candles are made from small wax beads as opposed to the more traditional solid wax. In fact, this is the first time I ever encountered such a thing. Actually, I was taken by surprise when I unscrewed the metal lid and discover the contents. Had I been a bit more careless while opening the jar I’m certain the wax beads would have spilled out all over the floor. So there’s your first word of caution when using this product; open the Champagne Lights carefully.

You may also find that you need to pound down the beads in the jar a bit before opening. Shipping the product disturbs the beads and at first I couldn’t find the wick; it had become buried under the tiny wax pellets. Curiously enough the Champagne Lights candle burn just like a regular candle.

Each candle is pleasantly scented, but nothing over powering. You don’t have to worry about them clogging the air with too much scent. They burn clean and smokeless and they last for about 12 hours. Although you’re not suppose to burn it for longer than 3 or 4 hours at a time. It says so right on the jar.
Full Review HERE!

Lussuria Rechargeable Vibrator by Vida —— $109.58

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We’ve hit the jackpot! Seriously, in our tenure with the Dr Dick Review Crew, Kevin and I have had the opportunity to review several high-end vibes. Many of which we’ve enjoyed very much. Today I can safely say we have here with us the queen of high-end vibes.”
Kevin: “Absolutely! This exceptional beauty is the Lussuria by Vida.  Neither Gina or I had ever heard of this company before, but a quick look at their website showed us what we’ve been missing.”
Gina: “The gorgeous Lussuria is made of anodized aluminum and ultra-hygienic silicone. The color is black obsidian. Although, that’s redundant, because obsidian IS black.”
Kevin: “Maybe they’re trying to say that it is a black black, true black or blackety black black.”
Gina: “Yeah, maybe that! So besides the luxurious overall color, there is also a very stylish fuchsia piping that goes around the base. Most of the other high-end vibes we’ve reviewed were silicone over plastic. That’s nice enough, I suppose. That is until you feel the heft (over 7oz) of silicone over aluminum. Then you begin to appreciate what you’ve been missing all along.”
Kevin: “So true! The weight is in the controller end of the Lussuria. This provides a counterpoint to the insertable end of the Lussuria where the vibration is. So imagine the ribbed and flattened end of the vibe nestled against your G-spot or P-spot while having the weighted end keep the pressure on your pleasure spot. Fantastic!”
Gina: “Those of you who follow our reviews know that Kevin and I agree that most, it not all, G-spot vibes, because of their ergonomic design, are equally suited to pleasuring a guy’s prostate. The Lussuria excels at this, just as Kevin says.”
Kevin: “The slender neck on the vibe allows me to clamp down my sphincter on to it, making the Lussuria a superior butt plug. I can even do my kegel exercises with this weighted vibe in place.”
Gina: “Because the Lussuria is waterproof we can disinfect it after every use so that we both can share it. Remember, you can only use a water-based lube with a beautiful silicone toy like this.”
Kevin: “The Lussuria has five speeds and it’s extremely quiet even at high speed. The lighted one-button operation cycles through the speeds as well as turning it off, at any point, by holding down the button. And it’s fuckin’ rechargeable! They’ve thought of everything.”
Gina: “Now lets talk packaging. It’s as if the Vida people decided to throw caution to the wind with their packaging. The vibe itself comes nestled in a jet-black velvety foam cushion inside a black faux leather carrying case, with a handle. But wait, there’s more. Besides the swank carrying case there is black storage pouch that ties with a satin ribbon. This allows you to travel discreetly with your Lussuria. And all of this comes in a beautiful black (of course) tote bag. It is overkill, or just divine decadence? You decide.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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