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Winter Solstice Worries

Before we begin today I want to send out hearty holiday greetings to all my pagan friends. Here in the northern hemisphere — HAPPY Winter SOLSTICE! Ya’ll in the southern hemisphere — HAPPY Summer SOLSTICE!

Some of us overlook these important and most ancient of festivals. Our culture’s Judeo-Christian bias blurs the origins of most of the religious observances we still take for granted today — like Christmas. When Christianity became the dominant influence in our culture it co-opted the trappings of these festivals, robbed them of their heavily laden sexual context and mercilessly persecuted their adherents. And that, to my mind, is a fuckin’ pity. What a different world this would be if that hadn’t happened.

Name: BJ
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location:PA
I’ve been sexually active for several years now and have yet to reach an orgasm. Oral sex, intercourse nor masturbation have been effective. Is there something wrong with me, what might help?

I’d be very much surprised if there was actually something physically wrong with you. But you clearly have some difficulty letting go. And simply put, an orgasm is letting go of built up sexual tension.

Lot of preorgasmic women don’t feel entitled to an orgasm, for one reason or another. Other women are simply unversed on how to make the big “O” happen in their own fine self. Sometimes it’s a combination of both resistance and a lack of know how.

I used to have this client, a woman in her late 30’s, the mother of three and a devote Catholic. She was preorgasmic too. Her big stumbling block was fear. You got it; fear of having an orgasm. She had heard from other women, over the years, how powerful orgasms were and how pleasurable they were. My client somehow got it in her head that if she were to ever let go and give up that long-awaited screamin’ meme, her entire world would collapse. She would become a sex addict, neglect her children, divorce her husband and turn her back on God…the whole enchilada.

With that kind of mindset, this little lady wasn’t gonna let herself cum no how.

I had to reassure her that, as delightful as orgasms are, they are not like crack cocaine. xmas_lesbians.jpgI told her there was no chance that she’d fly to pieces as a mother, wife and friend of Jesus if she were to ever squeeze one out. I had to keep repeating this over and over till it finally sank in. You talk about hardheaded! In the end, she had her precious orgasm, joined the ranks of the sexually satisfied and lived happily ever after. …Well, I can’t honestly say about the happily ever after part.

Back to you BJ, I don’t suppose there’s any way you could have one of your gal-pals show you how it’s done, is there? The reason I ask is most guys learn how to choke the chicken by watching, or being instructed by another guy. Us men folk are really good about doin that for one another. Women folk, on the other hand, don’t seem to do this for one another as much.a16608_160w.jpg Which is a freakin’ pity, if ya ask me.

If you can’t (or won’t) get a pal to show you the finer points of proper pussy pleasuring, I have another suggestion for you. Mozie on over to DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY and check out a swell instructional video. Do a quick search for “female masturbation” and let the experts show you a thing or two. You’ll be so glad you did.

Write back again and let me know how things go. If you’re not successful, I still have a few other tricks up my sleeve.

My wife fantasizes about cum swapping with me and forcing me to lick my freshly deposited spooge out of her vagina, but every time we try, just after I ejaculate, I loose my nerve. I have tried to taste my own cum before, and it really does turn me on, but there seems to be a huge difference between fantasizing and doing. I love my wife and want to fulfill her fantasy. How do I get over my apprehension to gulping my own love juice?
Regards, Chris

OMG! What are you, trying to do make me sick? Just kidding! What a spunky little spitfire you’re married to, Chris. Nasty little piggy sex, my favorite kind! You guys GO!“

Vaga-felching” or “lickin’ a creampie” is a relatively obscure fetish. The gays are more likely to felch, cuz they’re like so into the whole jizz thing, don’t cha know. But Vaga-felching is a-completely-nother thing…especially if it’s a straight dude doing the felching.

Ya see, a guy is always up for layin’ down and nice slime trail, but lickin it up again, especially after it’s been loitering about in the inner-regions of a pussy…why that’s pretty much enough to make most straight dudes hurl.creampie01.jpg

I suppose you’re slightly ahead of the ballgame, considering you say you find the taste of your own issue a turn on. That’s a good start. The big hurdle, of course, is having the same desires post-ejaculation as you do pre-ejaculation. And therein lies the rub, darlin’.

When we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. It’s just like a state of suspended animation, only completely different. ;-) Our sense of sight, smell, touch and taste are muted and our judgment is impaired too. Which allows us to do all sorts of things we wouldn’t consider if our dick wasn’t raging. You know the old saying; “A stiff dick has no conscience,” don’t cha? Well, it’s kinda like that.

Anyhow, all the nasty piggy little things we can groove on with a hardon, often evaporate once we’ve shot our load. And seein’ that ya gotta shoot your load in order to make a creampie, the fetching thereafter becomes considerably less tantalizing once you do…if ya catch my drift.

I suppose you could push past the hesitation you have with a little mind game. You could try to convince yourself that what was alluring before the creampie was made is the same thing as after. But then you’d have to override your reinstated judgment and sense of sight, smell, touch and taste to do so.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Hey there,
My question involves my uncircumcised penis. I am 20 years old and pretty sexually active when I’m involved with a girl. I’m curious because is my head, underneath my foreskin, is extremely sensitive. Only in the past year or so have I been working to stretch my foreskin over my head, and now that I’ve successfully exposed my dick, it’s sensitive as hell, almost to the point to where it hurts to touch. The other thing is that when I come close to ejaculation when masturbating/being masturbated, that it doesn’t bother me anymore if my head is touched. Is this normal for a circumcised male? I really am not educated about how an uncircumcised penis is supposed to be/work and really can’t talk to anyone about it. Please help educate me!
-Jason

Lucky the man with a natural, intact dick! A super-sensitive dickhead is the birthright of every male. Unfortunately, some of us never get to know the excruciating sensitivity that uncut men know all their lives. Pity that!uncut_tip.jpg

You are correct to notice that as you approach an orgasm, your dickhead can receive more touch then when you are not aroused. Like I was sayin’ to the guy above you, “…when we’re in the throws of passion, when we’re totally aroused, we get in this state. Our senses of sight, smell, touch and taste are muted…”This is nature’s way of desensitizing the very tool we’d need to bring our pleasure to fruition — entering a pussy and depositing our seed there.

Once that task is complete, the normal sensitivity resumes. And since our dick can’t tell between a simple jerk off session, some fine gay sex and an attempt to impregnate a female it just behaves the same way each time we play with our thingy.So sounds to me like everything on your unit is working perfectly well.

Enjoy the gift you have!

Name: lup92
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Location: England
I’m 15 and masturbate often but have had no form of sex although my girlfriend wants to start. however my penis and scrotum have extremely small lumps all over. I also have a purple red large lump on the rim of my bellend. what do i do? should i start? or do i risk giving something to my girlfriend?

Here’s the thing about lumps and bumps and discolorations of the skin anywhere on your body, especially on your precious willie, pup. They are signs that all is not well. Do us all a big favor and have your johnson looked at by a physician right away. This is nothing to fool around with.

Everything you describe could be completely harmless, but you don’t want to take the chance that it isn’t. And here’s a tip: don’t do it for your girlfriend. DO IT FOR YOU! It’s your dick, you gotta lean how to take care of it. And there’s no time like the present to start properly lookin after it.

There is one more thing. And I’m gonna be as blunt as I know how. If you think you’re old enough to fuck, you’re old enough to know about condoms and how to use them. If ya don’t, you’re just a dumb kid who might function like a grown-up, but who doesn’tstockingcondoms.jpg know how to behave like one. And I don’t want to believe that about you.

What it is with young people (old people too) who are still fuckin’ clueless about unprotected sex in this day and age? I’ve been reading the celebrity gossip here in the States lately. All the whoha about Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney’s 16-year-old sister, gettin knocked up. WTF? Is anyone paying attention?

I have nothing against younger people being sexual. That pretty much is to be expected. But I am totally opposed to kids having kids! Like I said, if you’re old enough to swing it around, you’re old enough to know how to swing it responsibly.

Good luck ya’ll

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Watch Your Language, Mister!

Before we get started today, I’d like to take a minute to explain something to ya’ll. You will notice just to the right of this posting there is a section called CATEGORIES. If you scroll down from there you will notice that there are loads of topics— well over a hundred — that I’ve written about and/or included in one of my podcasts. Next to the topic you will notice a little number. That reflects the number of postings that include that particular topic. Isn’t that fucking brilliant?

So if you’re looking for information about something, I encourage you to check there first, before you send me a question. You may find that I’ve already covered your concern at length.

The CATEGORIES section is also a great resource for those looking to investigate new and interesting aspects of human sexuality.

Name: Martin
Gender: Male
Age: 50
Location: ?
Thanks in advance for your assistance, Dr. Dick.
Here’s my dilemma; I’m so in love with my partner, he’s actually the man of my dreams. We met much later in life, he being 45 and I’m 50.
I was married before w/children, out now as a gay man and all is well with my children’s relationship.
My partner has always known he was gay, has had numerable relationships and was a sexual addict. He has wanted me to understand his past in relationship to his level of happiness now, stating that he was a bottom slut only because he was never truly in love or satisfied.
He wants me to believe that “I”m the one” that has changed his life-long addiction to strange dick up his ass.
I can’t seem to get past his past slut behavior, and oftentimes get so pissed off because he wants me to meet and develop friendships with many of these past fucks (primarily because they were military buddies also).
Why can’t I accept his slutty past and stop the suspicions?
Why do I get so upset just knowing that he was a total bottom slut??
How can I get him to understand that I have no desire to know any more about his sexual past and just focus on creating our lives???
Thanks.

Martin, Martin, Martin! How you do go on, honey. Take a look at your language, why don’t ‘cha? Could you possibly be more pejorative when speaking of the sexual experience of someone who has lived a different lifestyle than you? I doubt it. Look at how many times you use the word “slut” to describe the man you say you love. How can you tell me you love someone you have so little regard for or understanding of?

Your man wants you to understand his past, but you don’t take it at face value. You69201_7_122_1143lo.jpg belittle his experience, possibly because it doesn’t match your own very limited, sexually exclusive, predominately heterosexual lifestyle.

Listen, lots of gay men (and some straight men) have loads of sex for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes just for the fun of it…or, as your man suggests, just to be a big ‘ol bottom slut. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. A guy can be happily sexual without loving each and every one of his partners. And the sex can be really great too. Just like a guy can have very unsatisfying sex with somebody he loves deeply. None of these things are necessarily dependent on the other. Don’t make such a tangle of it all, Martin. Sex, love, intimacy are all very different things.

I also want to reinforce my belief that there’s no such thing as a sex addict. Compulsive behavior? Sure! Out of control behavior? You betcha! Self-denigrating behavior? Absolutely! Sexual addiction? No way!

Try for just a minute to extricate yourself from your sex-negative mindset by exchanging the notion of eating when you talk about your friend’s sexual exploits. Would you have the same revulsion if your guy said he had shared food with lots of other guys? Some of it was fast food that didn’t satisfy very much. Sometimes he ate just because he wanted to, not because he was hungry. And now he wants you and he, as a couple, to be friends with some of the men he ate with. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

Your man is trying to open you up to seeing life and sex as most openly gay men do. This is fundamentally different from how some formerly closeted men see life and sex. If you let him, he just might help heal you of your sex-negativity.

Finally, jealousy is one of the worst human emotions. It is a kind of hatred, you know. Sometimes it’s hatred of another, but it is always self-hatred. We’d have no reason to be jealous if we had enough self-confidence. You say you love this man, but I challenge you on that. It’s clear to me that you have a much greater love of your provincial notions about sex then you have for this guy.

Here’s a tip, Martin — jettison the unhealthy attitudes about sexual expression and give your guy a chance to be himself, not what you want him to be, or what you think he should be. You’d be well served by working with a sex-positive therapist to help you get over this. Do it now, because if you hesitate you will surely ruin the very relationship you claim to treasure.

Name: Pete
Gender: Male
Age: 60
Location: New England
What is sounding the penis and why is it called that?

Sounding is a kind of urethra play. It’s called that because the it involves sounds, a kind of dilator. Why not mozie on over to Dr Dick’s Stockroom and check out the Sounds & Dilators section. You’ll get an eyeful!

Urethra play freaks out lots of folks. Most of us equate having something inserted into our urethra…for any reason…with a root canal by a sadistic dentist. Not something purposely done for the sheer enjoyment of it.a974.jpg

I’m always curious about how folks come to odd fetishes like urethra play. One of my correspondents back in July, Georgia, wrote that her urethra play began when she was a child. She asked her mother where babies came from. Her mother said it’s where peepee comes out. Georgia looked down there and saw this teeny-tiny hole. She knew having a baby was difficult and painful and thought, no wonder! So she decided she’d better try and make the opening bigger. And so it began.

Once a guy told me his fetish started when he was playing doctor with his older cousin. His cousin inserted a twig into his urethra, mimicking how he thought a doctor would take a patient’s temperature. This guy said that the moment was so sexually charged, even as boy of no more than 5, that his piss hole became an object of fascination and pleasure from that day onward. When I knew him, he was able to insert the bristle end of a toothbrush into his urethra. That bit of unsolicited information just about made me swoon into a faint back then. Even now, retelling that story gives me the willies.

So ok, this isn’t for me, but I am told by those in the know that because the urethra is such a sensitive organ, stretching it can provide exquisite sexual pleasure.

Practitioners of this unique kink often start out young, like Georgia and the other guy. Maybe it’s just a function of one’s natural curiosity about his/her body, when one day he/she discovers their urethra. They toy with it, stretch it and find pleasure. Once that happens, of course, it becomes like most pursuits of pleasure. It becomes a fascination, then a full-blown kink.

If a little accidental stretching is pleasurable, they wonder, what about intentional stretching with one kind of gadget or another — Q- tips, thermometers or a ballpoint pen? Once these kids are old enough to do some research, they discover an array of medical implements available to them; like latex or plastic tubing, catheters and urethral sounds and dilators. Well, you can see how this could just grow and grow…pretty much like any fetish. Pleasure is curious that way, spurring us on to higher and higher heights.

But like all pleasure related things, practitioners ought to have their wits about them when they play with their pee hole. I think it’s ill advised to be stretching your urethra with just any old thing lying around. One’s bladder and urethra are sterile areas and one ought only use sterile equipment and procedures while inserting anything in there. And one ought to take one’s time with this sort of play. Incremental stretching is advised. The use of mind altering, or body desensitizing drugs is not recommended, for obvious reasons. Like I always say, safe and sane play is happy play.

And here’s something you should know — the male urethra is approx. 10 to 13 inches long and has a “J-shaped” curve to it. The female urethra is much shorter, only approx. 2 1/2 to 3 inches long, and there is no curve. Therefore, a woman can stretch her urethra much easier and to a greater extent than a man can. You will find that these gender differences also makes for gender specific toys.

Name: Alice
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Location: Minnesota
My new boyfriend is really frustrated and doesn’t want to have sex anymore because he can’t come. He says he’s had this problem for a while and hasn’t come with any girl for over a year. I see how upset he is and I know he still wants to sleep with me but says it hurts when he gets excited and nothing happens. Is there something I can do? I tell him to see a doctor but I don’t think he will. thanks a lot!

Wow, that’s a bummer Alice. Unfortunately, you don’t supply me with enough information for me to make an educated guess about what might be up with him. So I’m gonna make a stab in the dark.

If I had to guess, I’d say the lad is suffering from a real bad case of performancetom03a.jpg anxiety. He doesn’t need a medical doctor; he needs to relax.

Here’s how this nasty thing works. Say a fella has a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before he know it, he replaying the incident over and over in his head, till that’s all he thinks about. The proverbial molehill becomes a mountain. He brings his anxiety to his next sexual encounter. His hyper-consciousness primes him for more disappointment. And he’s ready to interpret all disappointment as a failure.

Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? His fears become self-fulfilling. Before he knows it, he begins to avoid sex. His relationships suffer. He develops a full-blown sexual dysfunction. And his self-esteem takes a nosedive. His preoccupation with his problem makes it less likely that he’ll be fully present during sex with his partner, which pretty much fucks up his sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.

It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on his sexual arousal and short-circuiting his sexual response cycle.

This is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at his tender age. When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psychosexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method. It succeeds over 90% of the time.

Name: Roxy
Gender:
Age: 37
Location: SF Bay Area
Dear Dr. Dick, I am slowly but inexorably marching to my wits end over my current dilemma. I’m a part time TV married to a wonderful girl who I find very satisfying emotionally, mentally and physically. So what’s the problem, you’re asking? The problem is that before we got married I had several sexual encounters with men (yes, with me dressed and made up as a girl). Some of which were quite thrilling, and now I find that I am yearning to get all dressed up and find a male partner who will satisfy the girl side of my psyche sexually. I don’t want to cheat on my wife (with whom I’ve talked about marital fidelity…if I cheated and she found out, her line is that our sex life would be over), but I feel the compulsion to act getting stronger all the time… what should I do? Sincerely, Distraught in downtown

Before I respond to you, Roxy, I want to make sure my audience knows what we’re talking about.

Folks, Roxie here is identifying as a part-time TV. That, of course, has nothing to do with the box in your living room on which you watch The Brady Bunch reruns. TV in this context means transvestite. Which is literally the practice of cross-dressing, wearing the clothing of the other sex. Which as we all know, or should know must not be confused with a TS. And I don’t mean the poet, but a transexual. A transexual is a person that self-identifies as the gender other than the one he/she was assigned at birth. I hope we’re all down with that now.

It appears to me, Roxy, that you’re really overreaching here. Desires are wonderful2070257205_55f002f39a.jpg things. We just better know the difference between a desire and reality. I encourage you to think twice about realizing this particular desire of yours if it means upending your marriage. Seems to me your long-suffering wife’s feelings deserves more than the casual consideration you afford them.

Most TVs I know would give their left falsie for a partner as understanding and accommodating as your wife. And look at you, considering fucking this up by skipping out on her. Just so you can get all gussied up and find a dude to pound the bejesus out of you to satisfy the girly side of your psyche.

I never advocate the cheating option. But I know how compelling sexual fantasies can be. On the other hand, maybe some kind of additional accommodation could be made with your wife. Maybe she’d be up for a 3-way.

I know this marvelously kinky woman, Abby, who pimps out her beautiful straight boyfriend to totally hot gay gays they meet at the best gay nightclubs. She does this just so she can watch the straight BF get pounded. I hasten to add that the beautiful straight BF is a willing participant in this unusual ménage. Curiously enough, he’d never think of doing this on his own. For him, the turn on is not the part where other guys fuck him, although that is pleasurable. It’s pleasing and being dominated by his kinky girlfriend that turns his crank. So when Abby snaps her finger, you know for certain that Ty will soon be buggered senseless. Now that’s devotion. And while this is not for everyone, it sure as hell works for them.

Will your little woman go for something like this, Roxy? Got me! One thing for sure, you’ll never know unless you ask. Here’s a tip. To sell this whole ménage thing to the wifie, I encourage you to play up how HOT it will be for her. How much fun she’ll have watching and possibly even directing her pansy-ass husband take it up the bung-hole. How it’s gonna blow her mind, and shake up your traditional sex roles and really spice things up in the boudoir. With a sales pitch like that she might just give it a whirl.

I don’t envy your dilemma, Roxy, but I think something interesting could come of this just as long as you’re upfront about it with your wife. If ya don’t, you’ll soon be a cock in a frock with his marriage on the rocks.

Good luck ya’ll

 

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The Doctor is IN!

Name: Paul
Gender: male
Age: 32
Location: Seattle
I hope this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten this kind of question but I’ve recently discovered that I have a urine fetish. And I guess what I want to know is if among gay men I am in a minority or what? Do you know of other guys out there who share my fetish? Also I’m in a relationship and I don’t think my boyfriend shares my interests so I was wondering if you might have some ideas on how to break the news to him. Thanks a lot.

A urine fetish, huh? Ok! Are you talking about what those in the know call watersports or golden showers, right? I think you’re telling me you like to play with your pee, or the pee of other folks, right?

40.jpgOh my god, this is like a totally popular fetish, and not just common among the gays, don’t cha know. I’m surprised that you haven’t encountered loads of other pee queens before now. Folks of every sexual stripe and persuasion are known to enjoy piss play. There’s even a scientific name for it: urophilia. Doesn’t that sound fun? Honey, guess what? I’m a urophiliac and you can be one too!

Hell, this is such a popular fetish that it has a full subset of associated fetishes. There are clothes wetting, bed-wetting and diaper fetishes, and urinal fetishes. For the BDSM crowd there are humiliation scenes and bladder control scenes just to name a few.

Historically speaking, people have been drinking their own urine as an alternative medicine for as long as…well, as long as there’s been pee to drink. Bathing in urine is also very common in some cultures.

Curiously enough, watersports is not necessarily always a sexual fetish, although it can be sexual in nature. Activities where piss is taken internally (swallowed or received anally or vaginally) can be risky. The pee-ee will no doubt ingest any and all un-metabolized drugs — pharmaceutical as well as recreational — which were consumed by the pee-er. In some societies and in some situations, this is the actual intent — for example intensifying and prolonging the effects of a hallucinogenic drug.

Prospective pee drinkers should be aware that there are a few drugs that pass through the body either partly unchanged or entirely unchanged, like those nasty amphetamines and their derivatives. So it’s all together possible to get really high from drinking a druggie’s piss.

Finally, how do you come out as a pee-queen to your boyfriend? I’m of the mind that the direct approach works best. There’s less room for misunderstandings. You could come right out and ask him for what you want. Darling, meet me in the bathroom. I want to show you something really festive and entertaining. I mean, what homo’s isn’t gonna fall for that?

A less assertive way would be to visit several golden shower oriented websites, they abound on them internets, ya know. Leave the page open for the BF to find. That will stir things up. And unless he’s as dense as a post, he’ll begin to get the message. You could also “accidentally” rent a watersports video. That would, no doubt, open the desired discussion. “Holy cow honey, look what I picked up by mistake. You wanna watch it? Isn’t this hot? Oh my god, I think I just wet my pants. Wanna see?”

Name: Maria
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Location: California
Hi Dr, My question is a little strange. My boyfriend has this weird fetish about cumming on me…not just on me but all over me. On my boobs, on my face, he likes to get it in my hair, on my feet. I’m practically swimming in the stuff. Most of the time I don’t mind it and sometimes it gets me off. But I’m just wondering what’s this all about. Why does he have this desire to cum all over me? Most of the time he wants me on my knees waiting for his gift, tongue sticking out like a dog. Any thoughts why?

Maria, darling, this is absolutely precious! I love it!

Did you ever see the brilliantly funny Mel Brooks movie, High Anxiety?

In the movie Mel Brooks plays Dr. Richard H. Thorndyke, the new administrator of the Psychoneurotic Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous. He goes to San Francisco for a conference where he is framed for a murder. Mid-way through the movie there’s a scene where Thorndyke is on the lam. He phones his new friend, Victoria Brisbane, (played by the amazing Madeline Kahn) from a phone booth to ask for her help. Victoria is in her hotel room when she answers the phone. Just at that moment, the real killer attacks Dr Thorndyke and has him by the throat. Because of all the heavy breathing and choking sounds on the Thorndyke end, Victoria thinks she getting a prank sex call. She protests but then is drawn into the call. It’s comic genius. Dr Thorndyke’s struggle comes to an end when his attacker is impaled on a shard of glass. His death gasp makes Victoria think her caller just shot his wad. She responds with disgust, “You animal!

That’s where my mind went, Maria when I got your call. The description of your boyfriend’s spooge fetish made me think of Victoria Brisbane and her exclamation, “You Animal.”

p10.jpgYa see, Maria, us boys think all the world is as enamored with our spunk as we are. And so we think we’re doing everyone a big favor by spreading our junk around. We’re particularly fond of getting as much of our joy-juice as possible on our partners and the messier the better. We’ll tell you that we do this because we love you and we just whipped up this tasty little batch of seed just for you. That’s bullshit of course.

What we’re really doing is marking our territory. Did you ever notice how pleased with himself a male dog is when he’s blissfully lifting his leg to pee on everything in site? I’d be willing to bet you’d see a similar shit-eatin’ grin on the BF as you’d see on that dog. Your BF is marking his territory, but he’s marking you with his jizz.

The upside of this is that our little nut concoction is heavily protein laden, so you’ll not find a better skin emolument. Just make sure he doesn’t get any in your eyes. That shit burns! Enjoy!

Name: Jim
Gender: male
Age: 23
Location: Sydney
I’m addicted to porn. I look at porn for hours and hours at a time at work at home on my cell phone whatever. I am noticing that the more porn I look at the more I want and now I’m searching out some real weird shit the weirder the better. I’m afraid this is taking over my life, but I can’t stop. What should I do?

Listen Jim, there’s no such thing as an addiction to porn! PERIOD!

Nowadays people bandy about the term addiction as if it could be applied to any and all obsessive behaviors. I have an addiction to chocolate, I’m addicted to shopping, or I’m a sex addict. NONSENSE!

Let’s be clear about this. An addiction is a very specific condition. It denotes a dual dependency, physical as well as a psychological. A physical dependency occurs when a substance is habitually used to a point where the body becomes reliant on its effects. The substance must be used constantly, because if it is withheld it will trigger symptoms of withdrawal. Psychological dependency occurs when the substance habitually used creates an emotional reliance on its effects. There is no functioning without it. Its absence produces intense cravings, which if not fed will trigger symptoms of withdrawal.

What you report about yourself, Jim, is not an addiction. Your behaviors, however, are a classic example of a severe fixation or obsession. Just because out of control behavior isn’t an addiction, doesn’t mean it’s not serious.

You may say to yourself, “What the fuck, doc, fixation, addiction it all sounds the same to me.” Well, sounding alike and being the same are two very different things. Besides, if one doesn’t properly identify the problem; how will one find the proper intervention? And you, my friend, need an intervention ASAP.

n.jpgYour relentless pursuit of pornography, your obsession with more and more graphic and extreme depictions of sex is clearly interfering with you living a normal life. And at such a tender age, what’s up with that? This has got to stop, pup. You can’t continue to take refuge in fantasy material in lieu of having healthy interpersonal relationships.

I’d also challenge your suggestion that you are enjoying the porn you consume. When consumption of anything — porn, food, whatever — is this unrelenting, there is no enjoyment factor anymore.

If you have the psychological capacity to limit your porn consumption on your own, great — Do it! Be strict with yourself. Deny yourself access to the materials that fuel your fixation. Channel that energy into connecting with other LIVE humans.

If you are unable to monitor your behavior on your own — seek professional help right away. Look to a sex-positive therapist who will assist you in creating boundaries for yourself. Your therapist will help you learn how to reward your successes and not reward your failures. You will, in time, be able to put this obsession behind you. But you must act now. Your humanity hangs in the balance.

Good luck, ya’ll!

Riddle Me This…

Name: Daniel
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Portland
My question is do all women essentially have the same size and shape vagina? Because I have an abnormally large penis and some women are fine with it but some women complain way too much because of the pain.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you don’t really know how to swing that big pipe of yours. But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vagina is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic you’ll find the answer to your question. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size andbig.jpg shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the vagina itself. This is best understood as a potential space. A vagina is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space. Tell me you’re clear on that concept…please!

Again if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, unless you’re hung in a freakish sort of way (and if you are I want photographic evidence sent to me immediately) just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue.

Second, and this is the most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with someone who actually owns a vagina. While dr dick is a very clever lad, who knows lots of things about lots of things, sadly he don’t have no vagina himself. So why not go directly to the source, Daniel? Before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand, ask your partner for a little tour. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em, don’t cha know. You’ll be sorely amazed. You think your dick is talented? Let me tell ya pal, it pales in comparison to a pussy.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with the woman in question. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your women partners are complaining about your size it probably has more to do with your ability as a cocksmith than the capacity of their vagina. Most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of the hose, report that their offish male partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s lubrication no. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead. Get it?

A word to the wise, Daniel, if your dick is hard it’s evidence that you’re properly aroused. If your partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not properly aroused. Which tells me that you didn’t take care of business like you should have before you start to poke and poke with your one-eyed monster. You want in? Better pave the way pup!

Name: sammy
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: UK
is rimming dangerous you know like not good for you and you know stuff like that

You wanna know if rimming (or ass to mouth contact, for those less familiar with the term “rimming”) is dangerous with respect to “you know…well you know”. That sure was articulate.

I guess you want dr dick to fill in the blanks, huh? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you want to know about the health risks involved in rimming, right? Why not just come right out and say, “Hey dr dick, is eatin’ ass gonna make me sick?”

Let me preface my remarks with this universal statement. There is some riskdirtyjobs17.jpg involved with everything we do. Are you breathing this air? Are you drinking this water? Are you eating this food? Are you driving a car? Yikes, especially here in Seattle? Then you are at risk of serious bodily injury.

Have you noticed the alarming increase in health advisories issued for air quality? The ever-increasing frequency of food contamination scares — both for humans and our pets? And I’m sure I don’t have to call your attention to worsening traffic and the endless parade of really bad drivers out there. And yet, we continue to breathe, eat and move about in traffic as if there were no risks to us at all. We do so because it’s hard to live a normal life without. Rather than wall ourselves up somewhere to avoid all the inherent dangers of life in the modern world, we do our best to minimize risk by keeping ourselves informed and staying alert to signs of danger.

The same is true for any and all risks associated with sex. Trust me, I’m not here to diminish any perceived health risk involved when folks bump parts with one another. But I do want to put them in perspective. You can minimize health risks associated with sexual contact with others by being alert and informed about sexual issues in general and the health of your partner(s) in particular. Also stay vigilant to signs of danger — lesions, inflammations, abnormal odors, pain — are all warning signs that things are not as they should be. And nothing, absolutely nothing is more important than hygiene…especially were butt munching is concerned.

Here’s a little code I’ve prepared for this purpose. You know, like the fun rainbow colored homeland security code we’ve all come to know love. However, unlike the Department of Homeland Security here in the US (and whatever the call it there in the UK), dr dick promises he’ll never use his advisory code as a political tool. The dr dick Health/Sex Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.

Now back to you, Sammy. dr dick is gonna label rimming — 3) Advised with Caution. There’s a minimal risk for HIV transmission. However the presence of anal bleeding or bloody gums makes rimming 4) Not Advisable.

Rimming does carry the risk of parasite and bacterial infections. Hepatitis is also a risk. But there are hepatitis vaccines out there. And anyone engaged in sex with another human being, eating ass or no, who isn’t immunized against hep is just a damn fool.

Name: Frank
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: LA
The problem I’m having is that my current girlfriend has really small breasts, probably a size A or something like that. My last girlfriend had these beautiful big breasts. Being in LA of course they were fake, but I loved them. My new girlfriend is good in bed but the boob issue is driving me crazy. Her breasts are so small there’s nothing to do with them. The rest of her body is fine and her face is great. I’m looking for your advice. I want to ask her to get a boob job, but I don’t know how to approach the issue. Just looking for your advice.

So let me get this straight, Frank. You’re like this big tit fanatic and you don’t much care if the hooters are god-made or plastic. You live in LA, the very center of the silicone universe. And you find yourself in a relationship with a great gal with natural breasts, but virtually no bust line. Holy cow, how did that happen? Is this some kind of twisted karmic fate thing playing itself out? Do you suppose the cosmos is trying to tell you something?

Ok, you want my advice, here it is. I totally think you ought march right up to thisbt.jpg pretty sweet girlfriend of yours and tell her that despite her many charms and how much fun she is in the sack, you’re simply need much bigger tits on her real soon.

That’s right you heard me correctly. You just stride on up to her and tell her what’s on your mind. Don’t hold anything back. Don’t try to be diplomatic. And you don’t even have to give her feelings a second thought!

Of course, Frank, you’re gonna wanna preface this little declaration of yours by telling the lovely lass that you will submit your dick for augmentation if she agrees to submits her breasts.

I mean, fair is fair, right Frank? To do anything less, would mark you as incredibly shallow and selfish. It would also smack of a very unpleasant double standard. And dr dick wants desperately to believe that you’re not that big of an asshole. You aren’t, are you Frank?

If by chance you’re not quite ready to surrender you’re dick to a surgeon’s scalpel, with all the inherent dangers major surgery like this entails, then you’re in no position to ask your darling girlfriend with the tiny titties to do it either.

Here’s a tip; either enjoy what’s near to hand or find some chick that’s already sporting a big rack. I encourage you not to suggest to any woman that she’d be a better person, or more desirable to you (or anyone jackass of your gender) if she were just more stacked. This will simply backfire. You’ll not only find yourself without the desired tits, you’ll be without pussy too.

Good luck ya’ll!

If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another!

Name: Julie
Gender:
Age: 26
Location: 41425
I am a virgin. I am also just asking How do I keep my first time from hurting? Some Say Lubrications in exess, but I am very small.

Yep, lots of lube is important — first time and every time. 05_10_12.jpg

But there is so much more you can do to prepare yourself for your first fuck. Begin by knowing your body and your sexual response cycle. Is it safe to assume, even though you are a virgin to full-on fucking, that you are familiar with masturbation? If not, darling, that’s where you should start. If you enjoy pleasuring your body to orgasm, you will likely know the kind of stimulation you need to achieve full arousal. This is precisely the information you will want to pass on to your partner before the fuck-fest begins as well as throughout the event.

The more you know about your body and the mysteries of your particular sexual response cycle the smoother things will go for you and your partner. Nowadays there is absolutely no need for anyone to come to their first partnered sexual encounter uninformed about sex in general and his or her sexuality in particular.

Most women experience pain during fucking (for the first time or anytime) because of one of three basic reasons: 1) She is inexperienced, 2) Her partner is inexperienced or unversed about mutual pleasuring, 3) She is not fully aroused. Right away you can see how a familiarity with your body in general and your pussy in particular will short-circuit at least two of the three basic reasons right away. And while you can’t account for the sexual prowess of your partner, you will be able to direct him/her on how to touch and make love to you. And that, my dear, takes care of the third basic reason.

One other thing, a lot of women don’t relax during sex…thus discomfort…because they worry about becoming pregnant. If you’re not well versed on all methods of contraception and actually practicing one of them, you’re not ready to have sex. And one other thing, sexually transmitted infections ought to be a concern for both you and your partner. Don’t be a fuck-up; your partner ought always use a condom.

Name: Dave
Gender:
Age: 20
Location: Sydney
The other day I had to stop myself pissing mid-flow.. and god it hurt like fuck… felt like my ass was being tugged, from within. why does this happen? and can there be any damage from doing this at all?

Jeez, ya got me, pup! Was this some kind of muscle spasm? The muscles in your pelvic region, specifically your pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle), are responsible for stopping the flow of pee. Could you have injured or strained these muscles in some way? Has this happened before? One thing for sure, if this continues; have a doctor take a look right away.

Name: Drew
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: Idaho
Is there any way that I can increase my quality of orgasm? I’ve been having shitty orgasms for the last year, so shitty that they really shouldn’t be called orgasms. I’m on antidepressants (Effexor XR), and I fear that is a factor. I’m also having trouble keeping an erection, it never really gets fully hard and then kinda fades in and out over the course of masturbation or oral sex. Any ideas?

I think you put your finger on the problem right there. Antidepressants can sure enough fuck up a person’s sexual response cycle — interfering with both erections and orgasms. c917.jpg

Short of going off your meds, which I don’t advise…at least not without consulting your physician first…there are a few things you could try. I advise all my clients who are struggling with this same issue to use a cockring. It helps them get and keep a harder hardon. And of course, the more firm your rod, the more likely you will have a “quality” orgasm. I also encourage other clients on antidepressants to use a vibrator during their sex play…alone or with a partner(s). There are several different kinds — wands, dildos, eggs, bullets and plugs. Check out Dr Dick’s Stockroom for every imaginable kind. Of special interest for you might be The Rude Boy (C917)

Name: Jennifer
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: AZ
No joke, I am writing for my best friend who is a 41 year gay man and a virgin. He has never had any type of intercourse and has had brief foreplay with only a few. He can get erect when masterbating but not with a partner. He has tried to “wing it” and pick up men only to be “punched in the gut” again and again and again. He does not pick up anyone anymore because he considers it “false advertising”. He is super cute, very funny and works in the entertainment industry. He is so lonely and very depressed and completely against any type of medication. He wants to share his life with someone so bad. He says that no one has his problem and medical doctors say that the plumbing is fine. He seems to think that because he was able to masturbate at 8yrs old without a true erection that this ruined him. All my research points to performance anxiety and ED which he completely denies. He tried Viagra and that did not even work. Please share your best advice…I really want to help him. Thank you!!

My best advice? Okey dokey, here goes!

This boy needs a sex-positive therapist big time and right away. He is a freakin’ ball of sexual neurosis, for cryin’ out loud. However, the likelihood of your best friend actually seeking the help he so severely needs is nil. Especially since he can’t even cop to performance anxiety and ED issues with you.

And you know what, Jennifer? You may actually be enabling this dude’s dysfunction by allowing him kvetch about his love life…or lack there of. Lay down the law, darling. Tell this miserable wretch he needs to get professional help ASAP. If he refuses, cut him off from your shoulder to cry on. If he can’t grow a pair of cohunes and address his issues like a man, then you oughta grow a pair for him till he get a life. And that’s my best goddamn advice. So there!

Name: Rachel
Gender:
Age: 32
Location: Houston
I have the pleasure of dating (for the first time) a man who is uncircumcised (his foreskin completely covers his head. I love giving oral sex, but I’m a little intimidated. Lots of info on “cercumcised blow jobs” … not so much on Mr. natural. How do I blow his mind!

Doll, havin’ a natural man don’t make suckin’ his cock any different than suckin the cut variety. Except that you have a whole lot more delicious willie to play with. Let’s start with the basics. There’s no one best way to make oral love to a boner. No two cocksuckers will do it exactly the same way. But all have one thing in common, and that’s the desire to satisfy. Technique and position take a back seat to simply craving a cock in your mouth. We’re not talkin’ rocket science, girlfriend, it’s just a pecker and a mouth doin’ what comes natural.

vein.jpgBegin by taking a good look at the object of your desire. A big stiff woody with lace curtains is a wonder to behold. And even those little willies can be cute as hell. Visually explore the whole enchilada. Feel it’s shape, its thickness and texture. Sick a finger under his hood and trace his dick head. Nibble on his foreskin. Pull on it and stretch it out. He’ll be sure to let you know if you are doing too much.

Use your tongue to trace a line from his dick head down the underside of his shaft to his balls. Draw back his foreskin and slop your tongue all around his corona. As you do, watch your man’s eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.

Let his cock slide inside your mouth. Let your lips slide over the head and down the shaft a little, but, for god’s sake, watch out for your teeth! Slide your mouth down farther and open wider. Feel the stretch in your jaws. When his dick gets close to your throat, you may begin to gag. This is a normal reflex that you will, in time, be able to control. Ask for some feedback on your efforts. Just don’t talk with your mouth full.

There are lots of other things you can do with your mouth. Lick his dick, suck on it and flick your tongue rapidly across the top of his dick. Or you can simply move your mouth up and down his joystick drawing his foreskin back and forth with your hand as you go.

Dive into his crotch, lick his inner thighs, lower belly, and slobber all over his nuts. Keep your mouth wet, a thick wad of saliva will add to the pleasure and eliminate irritation. Don’t be afraid to be sloppy. Increase your speed or slow it down. Fondle and cup his balls in your hand.

As your man is about to spew, he will become more excited and may start some pelvic thrusting. If he does and you start to gag, use your hand to guide his dick in and out of your mouth. Remember that you’re the one in charge here. Encircle your lips firmly around his cock and over your teeth. Keep the other parts of your mouth as relaxed as possible (actual “sucking” is unnecessary at this point). Keeping a regular rhythm is nice, but don’t let it get boring. If you vary your position and your stroke you won’t get fatigued.

Name: Bruce
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: UK
What’s a PA? I sometimes see this abbreviation in online personals but I can’t figure it out. thanks

Well, Bruce, PA could mean a whole lot of things. It could be an abbreviation for Pennsylvania, public address system, personal assistant, parental advisory, pussy addict …hell, even Port Arthur, Texas.

pierced.jpgBut if I had to guess, you are referring to PA as in Prince Albert.

A PA is probably the most common male genital piercing. It enters the urethra and exits immediately behind the glans on the underside of the cock.

The Prince Albert Piercing, also known as a “Dressing Ring”, was apparently designed to strap the penis tightly against one’s leg to minimize the bulge caused by one’s rod when wearing the very tight trousers, which were fashionable during the Victorian era. We sure have a different ethinc about that today, huh?

As the rumor has it, Prince Albert, queen Victoria’s hubby, wore one of these little numbers to hold back his foreskin so he would keep his johnson sweet-smelling so as not to offend the Queen. What a fuckin’ gentleman!

Good luck ya’ll

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