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The Naughty & The Nice

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Just in time for the holidays, here’s my Naughty and Nice list.

NICE

NAUGHTY

NICELY NAUGHTY

Happy Holidays!

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Backdoor Basics at Wild At Heart

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Hey sex fans!

Particularly those of you who are living in and around the Emerald City. I have some swell news for ya’ll. I’m scheduled to present one of my most popular workshops at Seattle’s very own woman owned sex emporium, Wild At Heart.

The title of the Workshop is
Backdoor Basics

Sunday, December 16, 2012 7:00 PM

Ticket information HERE!

Learn the ins and outs of anal pleasure in this introductory class to backdoor fun. Anal play is a source of curiosity for many, but often surrounded by fear that it’s gonna be painful, or worse- messy. This class will help answer those questions and put those fears to rest.

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Anal anatomy
  • Preparation and hygiene
  • Lubes, toys, and safer sex
  • Beginner booty play
  • All-important warm-up techniques
  • Anal sex myths and misconceptions
  • Sex Toy giveaways
  • and so much more!

We all have one, lets relax and enjoy it!

This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Workshop attendees also get a 15% discount on any store merchandise while they’re at the workshop.

This workshop is based on my wildly popular tutorials — Liberating The B.O.B. Within and Finessing That Ass Fuck.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

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Early December 2012 Q&A Show — Podcast #356 — 12/05/12

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Hey sex fans,

Sorry about last Monday you guys. As you know I had intended to get this Q&A show earlier in the week, but technical difficulties prohibited that. Not to worry, because here we are now. I have a bunch of very interesting correspondents who are ready to share their sex and relationship concerns with us. And I will do my level best to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining.

  • Duke wants to experiment with getting butt fucked, but is afraid to make the first move.
  • Ed ain’t gettin’ laid anymore and his wife doesn’t want to talk about it.
  • Mike wants some information about milking machines. Yeah, you heard me.
  • Bubble Butt Barber has a horny and pervy client that wants a spanking.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Perfect Fit Brand!

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Is there a doctor in the house?

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Hey sex fans,

I know I promised you a Q&A podcast for today, but I’m afraid I must disappoint. I’ve been experiencing technical difficulties all weekend long, so this charming exchange between me and a nervous mother will have to satisfy you till I can pull together the next podcast…this coming Wednesday, 12/05/12, I hope.

Name: Nora
Gender: female
Age: 26
Location: Mane
My husband and I are having a little problem with our 5-year-old son. He’s very bright and inquisitive and we encourage that in him. However, we’ve caught him playing doctor with playmates, twice in two months. Once with a 4 year old neighbor girl and most recently, a 6-year-old boy from his school. How do we handle this? We don’t want to stifle his inquisitive nature, nor do we want to send him the message that sex is bad or dirty. We weren’t raised like that and we don’t want to raise our son like that either. At the same time, he can’t continue to do this. If other parents discover this, there could be trouble. What do you think? Thanks.

Ya gotta love the curiosity and innocence of children, but I certainly understand your concern.

Reading your message took me back to one of my earliest memories. I must have been about the same age as your son at the time. A neighborhood boy, who was slightly younger than me, and I were playing in a vacant lot near our homes. We made a little fort in the tall grass. And there, out of the blue, I suggested that he, the neighbor boy, pull down his pants so that I could take his temperature with this little stick I was holding. He was perfectly compliant and, like it was an everyday thing, he bent over and I stuck the twig in his bum. I remember taking careful note of his little peepee in the process. He had one, just like me, which was a totally different configuration than my baby sisters. I had taken note of that when I watched my mother change their diapers. I remember thinking to myself, my god that is so weird. But I digress. The gist of the story is that I was a very inquisitive lad, just like your son. And the opportunity check out the neighbor kid was, just that…an opportunity to satisfy my curiosity.

A couple days later, pretty much out of the blue, my dad took me aside for a little chat. He asked me about my play with the neighbor kid. I wasn’t quite sure what he was referring to. Ya see the “doctor” incident didn’t register with me as particularly significant, or all the memorable. It just was what it was. But it sure did register with a nosy neighbor lady who witnessed the whole thing. Apparently she told my mother, my mother told my father and now he was telling me. You have to remember, this was the mid-1950s, so sexual experimentation at any age was a lot more taboo than it is today, or even when you and your hubby were kids.

To my father’s credit he wasn’t hysterical, but he was very firm. I got the unambiguous message that this sort of behavior was not OK. It’s funny, had no one seen me and the neighborhood kid in our innocent play, the incident wouldn’t have registered with me at all. I probably had the same level of interest in the kid as I would have seeing an interesting bug, or catching a glimpse of a rabbit or raccoon. It filled the moment, and then it was gone.

Like I said, despite my father’s mild manner, I did get the clear message that what I did crossed some line, a line that I didn’t even know existed beforehand. My father’s talk managed to instill a sense of shame where there was none before. And I remember realizing that my behavior wasn’t just wrong, like if I had hit someone, but it bad, like sinful. And even at that age, I understood to some degree what sin was. I had visions of Jesus and his blessed mother up in heaven crying their little hearts out over my indiscretion. So now, along with the shame I began to feel guilt.

Of course, even if my “doctor” play hadn’t been discovered at age 5 there certainly were dozens of subsequent opportunities for me to get the hardball message that sex was dirty and sinful — not just touching but even dwelling on the subject was enough to send one to hell. There simply was no escaping that fifty some years ago. Are things fundamentally different today? Probably not fundamentally! There are, no doubt, more parents these days who, like yourselves, are more enlightened than when I was a kid. But let’s face it; the predominant culture is still very sex-negative.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make when they are faced with the kind of situation you refer to, Nora, is they impose adult motivations onto their kid’s behavior. For the most part, young children don’t have a sense of shame about their bodies, nor do they have a highly developed sense of the personal space of another person. When their curiosity about their body and the bodies of others, both children and adults, turns to touching and exploration, it has no sexual connotation like we grown-ups understand.

Some years ago, I said much the same thing at a church sponsored workshop for parents. A mother in the audience stood up to tell me that I was all wet about this. She said she knew for sure that her pre-adolescent son had a sense of guilt about fondling himself, because when she caught him doing it one day he looked very guilty. Well, duh! But when we discussed the occurrence further, we were able to discover the truth. I asked her, to describe the situation. She said, “I happened to see my son, through the partially open door to his room. It was just after his bath. He was sitting on his bed touching himself impurely.” I had to chuckle at her vocabulary, but I asked her to proceed with her story. She said, “naturally, I threw open the door and said; ‘what in the world are you doing?’” I said, in a somewhat mocking tone; “Yes, naturally!”

I wasn’t hard to imagine the scene she was describing, because she was pretty agitated by just retelling the story. I could visualize the bedroom door flying open, her stomping into the room, hands on her hips, eyes glaring, nostrils flared, her voice pitched high. What she saw in her young son’s face was not shame; it was fright. I told her that she was the cause of the panic in his face. I explained that if she had barged in to his room that way, with her threatening body language and her “what in the world” screech while he was on his knees saying his bedtime prayers, the kid would have had the same look of alarm, which she interpreted as guilt. I also confronted the woman about the issue of privacy. Listen parents, even young children need and deserve their privacy. You don’t want to see embarrassing things? Avoid the temptation to walk in on your kids without knocking first.

The reason I tell you all of this, Nora, is I want you to realize that the way you address your son’s behavior is probably more important than what you actually tell him. If you approach the discussion all worried, or distressed, or alarmed, or agitated; you can be assured that your body language will tell him all he needs to know, even before you speak your first word.

If your son’s behavior doesn’t course correct all by itself, which it probably will, my advice is schedule a little family meeting. The key here is that you’ll want to talk about several things besides the bothersome behavior. You might bring up school, putting away his toys, playing doctor with the neighbors, and helping with some of the household chores. You’ll notice that the more difficult subject is couched between more mundane concerns. This will help keep the sexual issue properly situated…as part of everyday life.

When you ask him about his “doctor” play, and if you do it in a casual sort of way, he will probably tell you all about it as if he were telling you about his other play. My guess is he is not yet made the distinction between types of play. You might ask him why he’s playing this particular game. Maybe even ask him what he discovered, if anything. Once this part is over and you have some information about his motivation, you could add your perspective…the adult perspective. Here’s where you get to explain that some parts of our bodies are private. And now that he’s getting bigger he needs to understand the difference between public and private. You could make the distinction between bad and inappropriate — his play is not bad, just out of place. I’d be willing to guess that he already has a grasp on this concept.

You may not even have to tell him not to do it again. You could tell him that if he thinks he wants to play “doctor” again, he should ask for your permission. In the same way he would have to ask your permission to cross a busy street or stay at a friends house for lunch.

If after the family meeting you think you and your husband didn’t get it precisely right, just let it go. If the behavior continues you’ll have another opportunity to get it right. Here’s a tip, if you guys casually talk about body things, like personal hygiene…particularly if your son is uncut…on a regular basis you’ll have a foundation on which to build more complicated sex related discussions in the future.

Finally, keep all sex related talks firmly grounded in every day life. One good way of doing that is use examples from nature and apply it to human behavior.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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Nice Try!

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we welcome back Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, for today’s review. She’s here with another LELO product.

Tiani by LELO —— $145.24

Jada
I used to have an almost reverential admiration for the LELO brand. The Dr Dick Review Crew has reviewed numerous products from their line. You can see all our reviews HERE!  Anyway, way back when, LELO was on the vanguard of exceptional pleasure products. But something tells me they are slipping farther and farther off the cutting edge.

Nowadays, there are more than a few companies that are producing remarkable toys. The Leaf brand jumps immediately to mind.  And most of these companies also have a social conscience, at least in terms of their packaging and the like, which leaves LELO in the dust.

Take today’s product, the Tiani, as an example of what I am talking about. I was delighted I was asked to review this product and I wanted to like it way more than I could. So you have to know that I had a decidedly positive inclination toward the Tiani before I actually put it to the test.

Where to start? For all intents and purposes, the Tiani, is LELO’s answer to (knock-off of) the WE-Vibe 3.  And it’s not all that of successful effort. I own a WE-Vibe 3, so I can’t help making the comparison.

The Tiani, like the WE-Vibe 3 is a vibe you can insert into your vagina and “wear” while you have intercourse. There are two motors — one in the insertable end, and one in other end, which is intended for clitoral stimulation. It, like its competition, comes with a remote control device. The LELO model is supposed to be sensitive to motion; every movement you or your partner makes as you/he/she holds the remote is converted to a vibration. Problem is this can lead to very intense or very weak vibrations at the wrong times. And herein lies most of the problem. The remote is supposed to be effective up to 20 feet, but it was inconsistent, at best, even at even 2 feet. And often it simply shuts off for no apparent reason at all. Well you can imagine how frustrating that is.

Another problem with the Tiani is its design. It does not stay in place. The inserted end of the vibe, which is supposed to stimulate my G-spot, doesn’t, or it didn’t for me. It’s too damned short.

On the plus side; the Tiani, is crafted from beautiful, silky silicone. But the silkiness of the silicone is part of the problem; this is what makes the toy slip out of place. It is, however, waterproof, which is one of the features I enjoyed the most.

Like all fine silicone toys, you can only use a water-based lube with this toy. But you know that already, huh? Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

While the Tiani itself is rechargeable, the remote is not. It requires 2-AAA batteries. That’s dumb! In its favor, the vibe’s motors are pretty powerful and fairly quiet. The unit charges discreetly and it has a travel lock too.

Take care to store the vibe and its remote control separately. I didn’t and that was a mistake. The silicone on the vibe puffed up and began to peel. Apparently there was some reaction between the controller and the vibe itself.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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