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On a need to know basis.

Name: Jackye
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Location: London.
Do you have a suggestion regarding sexual positions for easier anal sex?

I sure do, doll!  Try it doggy style.  It’s the most popular position for gettin’ it in the bum.  It’s a very basic sex position, where the bottom bends over a bed, a couch, a chair, the whatnot shelf, and the top nails him or her in ass from behind. For obvious reasons, this position is also called as the rear entry position.  And just so you know that we ain’t completely uncultured slobs here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice, the Latin name for doggy style is coitus ferarum, which literally means ‘fucking in the manner of the beasts’.

doggy_sex_positionDoggie style is a preferred position for most people of the female persuasion, because it allows the top to directly stimulate the chick’s G spot for that really yummy feeling.  This position also allows for a hands-free fuck. The top can busy his/her hands fondling the bottom’s tits and all his/her junk in the trunk.  Similarly, the bottom’s hands are also free to diddle him or herself and or grab somethin of the top’s, like his nuts or her taint.

There is no major exertion of limb muscles, just as long as the top bends his/her bottom over something high enough so that he/she won’t have to strain his/her knees while gettin that hot monkey love.

Politically correct folks think this sexual position is too submissive for a woman in straight sex. She being pretty much locked position, and under the control of the male top.  But I say, fuck political correctness.  If you like this position, use it.  Better yet, once you get nailed, strap one on and give as good as you get.

Like everything in life, the doggie position has some drawbacks. An inexperienced bottom may encounter discomfort, because the top can penetrate very deep in this position.  For the romantics among us, they’ll be unable to maintain eye contact or kiss during the fuck.  And of course, there is also no frontal visual stimulation, unless you’re bumping in front of a mirror.  Which is never a bad idea.

I suggest you try  “the woman-on-top” — cowgirl position too.  See the photo below.  This position will provide you more control over the depth and speed of your partner’s thrusts.cowgirl

Another swell position is the spoon position. Here the top lies on his/her side with knees bent slightly forward. The bottom lies in front, facing the other way and positions him/herself in such a way so that his/her butt lines up with the top’s dick or strap-on.  This allows for a pretty much effortless fuck for both top and bottom.  Folks have been known to fall asleep mid fuck in this position.  Don’t let this happen to you. Hey, and it’s real easy for the couple to switch sides too.

The advantages of the spoon position are pretty clear, huh?  Both the top and bottom are reclining.  There is little to no exertion and it’s an ideal position for us older folk, or the truly jumbo among us.  After the fuck is finished the couple can remain in this position for a very long time extending the afterglow.

The bottom can do the old reach around and grab somethin’ of the top’s to play with.  The top can also reach around for easy access to tits and pussy or tits and cock.  (Do you see how I’m going out of my way to be inclusive with instructions?  I hope so.)  And the lucky bottom gets the joy of being plugged and cuddled all at the same time. This might be a better option than doggie style for the inexperienced bottom, because he/she will have some control over the depth of the penetration.

While some folks think this position is downright boring, because it doesn’t involve much activity on the part of either top or bottom.  The spoon position does get the politically correct seal of approval.  It’s one of those egalitarian sexual positions, don’t cha know.  Neither the top nor the bottom is in a superior position.  Isn’t that special?

Name: Chad
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Alaska
My new girlfriend is 5 years older than me and she is a total freak.  She has purple hair, 5 tattoos and a 7 piercings, including her labia.  She wants me to get my dick pierced.  I said I’d think about it, but she says I’m a pussy for putting it off.  I know lots of guys have piercings, but is it safe?

I firmly believe in the right of every adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body.  However, I draw the line at someone goading or harassing another person to do so.   And it sounds to me like your freaky-deaky GF is badgering you to do just that.  So if I were you, I’d tell her to back off till you can sanely make up your mind.  It’s a good thing you’re being so thoughtful about this, because even though a piercing is not permanent, like a tattoo, there still are risks involved…more even than getting inked.

As body piercing becomes trendier in the popular culture, many people try to outdo each pa_0other with unusual piercings. However, all the most common piercings have their roots in the traditions of tribal peoples throughout the world.

The first thing you should know is that body piercing is an art form.  It is best practiced by well-trained, highly qualified and seasoned professionals.  If you entrust your body to an amateur you’re asking for trouble.  Do your homework.  As piercing establishments proliferate, some will be better than others. In most jurisdictions piercers and their salons are required to be registered and licensed. You might want to check your local health department for a information and recommendations.

Before you decide to proceed, visit the piercer in his/her shop. Ask questions. Ask them how they sterilize their instruments and jewelry (autoclaving is the only safe method). Nowadays, all needles should be single use instruments.  They should be opened just prior to the piercing, and then disposed of immediately thereafter. If the shop offers other adornments, like tattooing, make sure the piercing is done in a separate room (for privacy as well as hygiene).

Most people are initially concerned with the pain involved in getting pierced.  Depending on what you’re getting pierced, there will be moderate to a whole lot of pain.  And that’s just the beginning.  Once the jewelry is in place there will be at least 2-3 days when the piercing area is very sensitive to the touch.  Because some areas of the body have more blood vessels than others, like your dick for example, expect some blood loss and a lot of swelling post-piercing.  Trust me, gettin’ a boner afterwards will be your worst nightmare.

That being said, you will be amazed at how resilient your body’s is.  It has a phenomenal ability to heal itself.   Of course, the practitioner should provide you with detailed aftercare instructions.  These will outline all the procedures and aftercare products you’ll need to attend to yourself while you heal.  A word of caution, if your general health is compromised in anyway; if you are sick, run- down or over-worked, or immune-compromised in any way, your body’s ability to heal will be decreased and there will be an increase in the risk of infection.

As you heal, any pressure on a piercing has the potential to aggravate and inflame the site.  You’d best refrain from contact sports, manual labor, or anything else that irritate your new piercing. Most piercings take a minimum of 6 weeks to heal. Wearing tight clothes, touching the piercing with dirty hands, contact with bodily fluids, rough treatment, and using inappropriate cleaning agents will diminish your body’s ability to heal and increase the risk of infection.  Hey, and don’t skimp on the quality of jewelry you choose either.  Poor grade jewelry can fuck up the piercing big time.

Given all the pain and risks, you might ask, why do people bother getting pierced at all?  Well, that’s pretty easy to answer.  Piercings aficionados agree; a piercing enhances sex by providing a greater degree of stimulation to one’s self and one’s partner.

The most popular cock piercings is the Prince Albert. It has the fastest healing time and is considered the most sexually appealing of cock piercings. It enters the urethra and exits immediately behind the glans on the underside of the cock.  There is a variation called the reverse Prince Albert, which enters the urethra and exits on the top of the dick head. This piercing requires less cleaning than most since urine aids in the healing process.  However afterwards, most men find that they have to sit down to pee or they dribble all over themselves.  You’ll need to allow one week of sexual abstinence post piercing and 2-4 months for it to heal completely.  In the interim always use a condom until you’re fully healed.

Good luck ya’ll

Don’t forget the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival!

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Lookin’ for a little somethin’ that will perk up that ho-hum sex life of yours?  I thought so.  Well then, here’s your opportunity to learn a few new tricks.  (Along with a slew of other sex-positive adults of every persuasion.)

I’ll be there, so you know it’s gonna be good.  Hell, if you’re lucky, and register early, you can even take one of my workshops.  YOU CAN REGISTER ONLINE!

April 10-11, 2009
2 Days of Classes,
Music & Food

Be there or be square!

Dr Dick does the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival

Hey Sex Fans!

Get a load of this.  It’s the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival, don’t cha know!

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Lookin’ for a little somethin’ that will perk up that ho-hum sex life of yours?  I thought so.  Well then, here’s your opportunity to learn a few new tricks.  (Along with a slew of other sex-positive adults of every persuasion.)

I’ll be there, so you know it’s gonna be good.  Hell, if you’re lucky, and register early, you can even take one of my workshops.  YOU CAN REGISTER ONLINE!

April 10-11, 2009
2 Days of Classes,
Music & Food

Be there or be square!

Join us and expand the boundaries of your sex life and meet other interesting like-minded people in the safety and beauty of New Horizons and their stunning, 13-acre adults-only facility.  Learn more about sex. Enjoy sex.  And, come away with a unique, once-in-a-lifetime experience at the Seattle Fetish & Fantasy Festival.

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The Erotic Mind of Emerald — Podcast #106 — 03/09/09

Hey sex fans,

I have an exceptionally delicious show in store for you today.  I have the pleasure of introducing you to one of the rising stars in the erotica firmament.  Her name is emerald_1Emerald.  (Don’t you just love how some folks get away with using only one name?  I gotta tell you that I tried that once myself.  I used refer to myself simply as — Dick.  Well, you can see right away how many problems there was with that moniker, huh?)

Anyway, the ever-charming and oh so smutty Emerald joins us as my latest guest in this series of interviews I’m doing with noted erotic artists called The Erotic Mind. As you know, we’ve been chatting with these ingenious people in hopes of uncovering something of the creative process involved with this specialized art form.

And as a special treat, Emerald will share with us a very delectable selection from the fruit of her Erotic Mind.   This will be of particular interest to the edgier folks in our audience.

To give you a little foretaste of what you are in for today, here’s Emerald writing about herself on her site:  “Emerald is an erotic fiction author and general advocate for human sexuality as informed by her deep appreciation of the beauty, value, and intrinsic nature of sexuality and its holistic relation to life.”

For more of this creative and sex-positive young woman, be sure to visit her site HERE!

Emerald and I discuss:

• Her philosophy about human sexuality
• Her nom de plume, and why.
• Her writing career and how it began.
• Creating petite works of literary art, one word at a time.
• Being a sex worker and its impact on her writing.

Emerald serves up a juicy morsel of her own erotica.

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(click on the thumbnails to get more information about these volumes)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe.  I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Right Position Erotic Boutique.

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Time after time

Name: Frasier
Gender:
Age: 63
Location: Southern Calif
I’ve been a widower for 9 years now.  But before she died it was always my fantasy to see her suck another guy’s cock.  Since she’s passed away I’ve had this fantasy of me sucking another guy’s cock.  This never crossed my mind before she died.  Can you help me understand this?

Hmmm, Frasier, let me see if I got this straight.  You’ve been a widower for 9 years.  However, while your wife was still living you had a fantasy of watching her suck another guy’s cock.  Ok, not a particularly odd fetish that.  But I am unclear about one thing.  Did this wife sucking other guy’s cock actually happen, or not?  Not that this is particularly important, just wondering.  So, now 9 years later you say you suddenly have the urge to smoke some pole yourself, even though you’ve never thought of doing this before.  Is this correct?

Ahhh even if I understand you correctly, I don’t get the question.  Wait, maybe there is no bjbw.jpgquestion?  Maybe you’re just curious about why a 63 year old confirmed, dyed in the wool straight heterosexual guy like you suddenly realizes he want to suck himself some cock.  I can see how you might find this little discovery a bit disconcerting, but it’s certainly not unprecedented. I guess you’re being startled out of our sexual complacency, huh?  Not to worry, it may simply be situational.  You are probably worried that this makes you queer, right?  I think we can safely say that your curious new interest means no such thing.

Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other dude’s johnson.  Ok, then what?  Well, basically nothing.  If you find, after this little adventure, that you don’t much like sucking cock and that you’re really still into pussy.  No harm done.  You experimented a little and you now have more information about yourself then you did before the experimental blowjob.  You may simply discover that you only like having your female partners do the cock sucking while you do the watching.  Like I said, a relatively harmless and unremarkable fetish.

But, what if you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you actually take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other guy’s johnson and you really like it.  Well that’s a horse of different color, isn’t it?  Then you’ll have to come to grips with the realization that despite you long history of straight heterosexualism, you might be, at this point in your life, kinda bisexual.  How fun for you!

There is of course another explanation.  Some exclusively straight heterosexual guys suck dick not because it’s a turn on…the dick sucking that is.  They do it to be submissive.  Alrighty, whatever turns one’s crank!

I think we can safely say that for the most part, humans are not sexual automatons.  Given a more permissive and sex-positive culture then our own, we’d all be more fluid in our eroticism and sexual expression. It’s true; you are in unfamiliar waters, sexually speaking.  But it’s just a little adventure, not the end of the world. I hope you give yourself permission to experiment a bit.

Ya know, you could hook up with a male escort or see an erotic masseur for a little taste.  In fact, I’d tell the provider what you just told me.  Let him know you’re looking to experiment a little, but you’re unsure how to begin.  I’ll bet the provider will be very helpful.  Write back sometime, I’d love to know how it goes for you.

Name: Joey
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: Southern Calif
Love doing tina with masturbation and watching really hot porn. Think this is just social fun?

Nope, I don’t Joey.  Despite the prevalence of this dastardly drug, there is nothing fun about tina…crystal meth for those unfamiliar with the term “tina”.  If you love doing tina for whatever reason, I’d wager you’re hooked on that shit.

Listen, I’m not prude when it comes to using some crystalmakesmesexy.jpgdrugs recreationally.  But I think that we’d do well to stick to those drugs that are more natural.  The less processing involved (and meth is the worst in that regard) and fewer added chemicals (OMG, the crap they put in crystal) the better, in my humble opinion.

Despite the admitted high ya get, recent research shows that long-term meth use destroys nerve cells in the brain that regulate dopamine, muscle movement, memory, and decision-making. This damage can be wide-spread and permanent.

Your body reacts to crystal meth the same way it reacts to danger. Crystal floods the body with adrenaline — the same hormone that prepares us for emergencies. Adrenaline gives a super-charge of strength and endurance so the body can deal with danger and injury. But artificially triggering this response over and over again will have serious consequences.

When you use crystal, your nervous system shifts into high gear. The brain floods your body with “danger” messages. Your body responds immediately to what it thinks is a threat. It prepares to fight or to run away. Common body responses to perceived danger include:

  • Pupils dilate to let in more light.
  • Hair stands on end (“getting goose bumps”).
  • Blood vessels just under the skin constrict.
  • Body temperature goes up

Regular, long-term crystal use will diminish sores of neurotransmitters.  Episodes of paranoia and anxiety become more frequent and longer lasting. Blocked blood vessels within the brain can lead to increased chances of stroke.

Crystal fucks with your dopamine levels. Dopamine delivers a sense of reward and pleasure. It is also associated with body movement. Too little dopamine causes paralysis or a Parkinson’s-like tremors and rigidity. Too much dopamine and a person can become paranoid, hear voices and get twisted thoughts. Sound familiar?

Crystal fucks with your serotonin levels.  Serotonin is involved in regulating sleep and sensory perception. It plays a role in moods and regulating body temperature. Serotonin is involved with many emotional disorders like schizophrenia, phobias, super-aggressive states and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Too much serotonin can make it difficult (or impossible) to have an orgasm.  And of course there’s the dreaded “crystal dick”…the inability to get it up.

Joey, listen up!  You’re way too young with too much of your life ahead of you to self-inflict so much serious irreparable damage on yourself.  If this weren’t such a troublesome drug, there wouldn’t be such a virulent anti and reformed tweeker community out there.  Want to know the real truth about “tina” check in at:  crystalmeth.org.  You’ll be glad you did.

Name: Shelly
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: Raleigh, NC
My boyfriend and I are 20.  We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love.  But we have a problem.  I’m pro-choice and he isn’t.  He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that.  It’s my choice because it’s my body.  But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.

Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

Where do you go from here?  Simply put?  Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to.  This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick.  That’s never a good thing.  It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship.  Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again.  I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are.  But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual unplanned_pregnancy.jpgultimatums.  EVER.

There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too.  You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time.  Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.

WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life?  Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception.  And you both should practice at least one foolproof method.  If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking.  Get it?

Here’s the deal.  I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy.  And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it.  But wait!  What if the BF is opposed to contraception?  It sure sounds to me like he might.  Well then you really are shit out of luck.  No fucking for you till you’re married.  No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married.  Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.

Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking.  But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh?  So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.

Good luck ya’ll

Lookin’ for a good time?

Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

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“Abstinence Only” …think again!

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee not only opposes a woman’s right to choose, nixes comprehensive sex education in favor of “Abstinence Only”, but now we discover that she cut funding for teen moms.

“Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential nominee who revealed Monday that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, earlier this year used her line-item veto to slash funding for a state program benefiting teen mothers in need of a place to live.”  —Washington Post

What if other parents don’t buy this shit.  What if they think preparing their kids for the eventual responsibilities of adulthood, which includes sexuality, is not a bad thing.

Sarah Palin’s unwed daughter will no doubt receive all the benefits a well-positioned family can provide.  Not so the daughters of everyone else.

What pisses me off the most is the double standard.  For everyone else’s kids — no choice, no clear unambitious information about human sexuality in school…and if you get in trouble, because you don’t have a choice or you are uninformed…no help from your government.

I don’t generally do this, but the timing couldn’t be better on this.  Monday’s podcast, #78, included my response to a message I recieved from a mother of three in Toronto.  The timely nature of Lynn’s question compels me to print it in full here.

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Name: Lynn
Gender: Female
Age: 36
Location: Toronto
I’m a mother of three great kids.  My oldest, who is in middle school, went to camp for the first time this summer. A local church group sponsors the camp every year.  When my husband and I asked him about his time away from home, he said rather noncommittally; “It was ok.”  He seemed to like it well enough, but you know how uncommunicative kids can be at that stage.
Anyhow, yesterday I was going through some laundry from his camp outing and discovered a pamphlet in the pocket of his pants.  It was for an “Abstinence Only” program.  It was full of the most sex-negative fear and shame.  It was awful.  We are not raising our kids like that; my husband and I were appalled.
Now we’re wondering if this is why our son was so unenthusiastic about his camp experience.  Do you think we should quiz him on this?
What gives with this kind of indoctrination anyway?  I thought that those “Abstinence Only” programs had been discredited.

So wait, wait, wait; are you thinking that just because a social engineering strategy, like abstinence-only, has been debunked that it wouldn’t still be employed by certain factions of our culture?  Oh hun, I think you oughta rethink that supposition right away, don’t cha know.

I mean, come on!  There are loads of outdated and discredited philosophies being promulgated in an effort to ensnare the  uninformed and gullible.  I don’t know about ya’ll there in Canadaville, but here in Amercanski land we have a whole segment of our population who believes in creationism as a viable explanation for the universe.  In fact, one was just nominated to be Vice President for the Republican party.  D’oh!

So, as you can see, there is no necessary connection between what has been discredited and what is still wildly popular in some segments of the population.

Back in the spring of 2007, a long-awaited congressionally funded national study concluded that abstinence-only sex education does not keep teenagers from having sex. Nor does it increase or decrease the likelihood that if they do have sex, they will use a condom.  (Attention:  Governor Palin!)

Authorized by Congress in 1997, the study followed 2000 children from elementary and middle school into high school. The children lived in four communities — two urban, two rural. All of the children received the family life services available in their community; in addition, slightly more than half of them also received abstinence-only education.

By the end of the study, when the average child was just shy of 17, half of both groups had remained abstinent. The sexually active teenagers had sex the first time at about age 15. Less than a quarter of them, in both groups, reported using a condom every time they had sex. More than a third of both groups had two or more partners.

So if abstinence-only programs don’t work, at least the way they are supposed to; why do we still have them?  Ahhh, good question.  We still have them because for a large segment of the population, especially those who are makin all these babies, it’s easier to just say “NO” than to step up to the plate and educate their kids about sex in a wholesome and holistic way.

Another problem is that the word abstinence often means something quite different to kids than it does to adults. That’s one reason why abstinence-only programs do not have strong effects in preventing teenage sexual activity.  At least that’s what a recent University of Washington study found.

The researchers found that interventions that encourage abstinence treat abstinence and sexual activity as opposites.  Teenagers, on the other hand, don’t consider them to be mutually exclusive concepts. Like in the congressionally sponsored study, the UW researchers found abstinence-only programs are less likely to work than more comprehensive sex-education programs because they are not speaking the same language as adolescents.

The study showed that attitudes and intentions about sex were more powerful than attitudes and intentions about being abstinent.  No surprise there, I suppose.

Again, I don’t know how things are there in Canada, but down here there is no federal funding for comprehensive sex-education.  But there’s a shit-load of funding for abstinence-only programs.  Funding has mushroomed from $9 million in1997 to $176 million in 2007.  Leave it to the current administration to dump loads of money into a program that doesn’t work.  But such is the power of the conservative religious lobby.  They are the people who back these programs.

This wouldn’t be such a big issue if it didn’t hold such dire consequences. For example, the United States has the highest teen pregnancy rate among all first-world nations.  The rates of sexually transmitted diseases in this country are also astronomical.  If we want to keep our young people safe from the negative aspects of casual sex, abstinence-only programs are not the way to go.

However, more comprehensive programs that include abstinence as one choice are much more likely to have a more productive outcome.  Besides, is it ever a good idea to try and motivate behaviors out of fear and shame?  I don’t think so.

Since abstinence-only programs often only look at the negatives of sex, it doesn’t really empower a young person to take responsibility for his/her behaviors.  This is particularly thorny for young women who often bear the brunt the peer pressures to be sexual.  And they have way more at stake in terms of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

When kids aren’t expected to take responsibility for their behaviors, especially in terms of sexuality, it cripples their ability to make good life-affirming choices.  Abstinence-only programs disqualify all sexual options, even the relatively innocuous behaviors like mutual masturbation and oral sex.  So if all sexual options are equally out of bounds, there’s no way for the average kid to distinguish between harmless and risky behaviors.  And this is what leads to the high rate of sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.

If we want our kids to grow up with healthy and integrated attitudes about sex, ones that will lead to loving and fulfilling sexual relationship later in life, we ought teach from a more sex-positive theory.

Back to the other question you raise; the one about quizzing your son about his camp experience.  I think that would be great.  It would let him know that you care, that you don’t support this fear and shame-based approach to human sexuality and that he doesn’t have to embrace it either.

Good Luck

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