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Name: Trey
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Location:
I’m 17 years old. I hit puberty at age 10, so I have had time for my dick to grow, but it hasn’t. I’m 1 inch soft and 4 inches hard. Why? Is it normal? I mean all the other guys have dicks at least 4 inches soft and like 6-8 inches hard. Even one of my of my 13-year-old friends dick is honestly 6 inches soft! What is wrong with me? Why is mine so small? Is it abnormal for my age? I have heard that weight can have something to do with it? I’m about 240 pounds. Can you help? I can’t do surgeries or enhancement pills or whatever. I mean, give some names of medicines and I can talk to my doctor or something.

Normally I wouldn’t respond to yet another question about how one grows his dick bigger. I’ve already dedicated enough ink to this topic to last a lifetime. If you want the 411 on cock enlargement techniques of all types, all you have to do is use the search function in the header and search for topics like: cock size, cock shape and jelqing. Or look for these topics in the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar. You’ll find everything I have to say on the subject.  Here’s an example of what I am talking about — Much Ado About Very Little.

But for your benefit, Trey, I’ll summarize. Our dick size is determined by genetics, like our skin color, hair color, stature and the like. Permanent male enhancement by any means, short of surgery, is a fiction. And surgery is an exceptionally risky procedure, often times only making matters worse.

The only reason I decided to publicly respond to your question, Trey, is because you mention your weight. You tell me you are 17 years old and you weigh about 240lbs. That’s astounding, pup. Unless you are 7” tall and built like a brick shithouse, you must be considerably overweight, perhaps even obese. If I were you, darlin’, I’d consider my weight problem to be a much bigger liability then the size of my baloney pony.

Seriously, one sure fire way to add to your dick size is to lose weight. Think about it, if your unit is struggling to peek out from under a big fold of fat hanging down from just above your cock, you could easily add a couple inches if you trimmed the fat. But dick size aside, you’re simply carrying too much weight and at such a tender age. YIKES!

You know you are at risk for diabetes, circulatory problems and cardiac problems, right? Each and every one of these will impact in a very negative way on your sexual response cycle. So even if you could magically grow you dick bigger, your weight will defeat you; making it impossible for you to get it up and get it off.

I encourage you to seriously consider a lifestyle change, pup. Do it so you’ll have a bigger dick, if that’s what you really want. And in the process you’ll also insure a healthier heart making that bigger dick of yours function like it oughta.

Good luck

Name: razor
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Location: Texas
My partner and I have been together for about 8 months now. I can’t even say we had a great, awesome, sex life at first. There was something else. I thought I had found a good person and friend in him. He is very sexy, lean and hung. Honestly, I should really want him. I’m poz, and he’s not. I, wonder if that could be the reason, why I don’t desire him? Afraid that I might hurt him somehow. Or could this be just what I think it is, could I just not want sex?

Mmmm, I’d go with the first option, if I had to pick one. I’d be willing to guess that the disparity between you and your BF’s HIV status is indeed getting in the way of your eroticism. And that’s a big fat bummer, because it doesn’t have to be like that.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the lack of desire for this hot and hunky HIV- guy isn’t getting in the way of you guys having a good relationship, is it? The reason I ask is that many happy secure relationships are based on other things besides sex. You say he’s a good person and a friend. Maybe that’s all you need to make this relationship work and last. Most long-term relationships wind up being relatively sexless anyway. Instead of sexual fulfillment, the couple finds contentment in the intimacy and stability of the relationship. And that is often more gratifying than a vigorous roll in the hay.

As to your fears about possibly hurting your guy through sex…well life is full of risks, right? Your man is equally aware of the possibility of an accidental sero-conversion as you, right? But he stays with you. Why is that? Maybe he’s willing to take the risk; because he has this other connection with you…ya know the friendship thing. Maybe he is confident about the safe sex he practices. Maybe sex is not all that important to him, considering he’s in a relationship with a good man who is his friend. Maybe you just oughta ask him.

At the same time, there’s loads of very pleasurable sexual activities you guys could involve yourselves in which carry very little to absolutely no risk of an HIV accident. Maybe you just need to get a little more creative in your sex play. Lots of mixed HIV couples have figured this out already.

Fear is an ugly thing, Razor. It can, as you suggest, shut down a person’s entire erotic life. But I encourage you not to let this happen to you. Push past your fears. Work with a sex-positive therapist or an HIV support group, if you must. Just don’t settle for the status quo. Even if your current relationship isn’t dependent on a regular slap and tickle, you oughtn’t live your life like you are some kind of Typhoid Mary. That is if you ask me.

Good luck

Dazed and Confused

Name: Confused
Gender: Male
Age: 16
Location: NJ
Dr., I’ve been having sex with a friend who is 19 and he expressed that he had feelings for me at a time when I didn’t have feelings for him. We got into an argument and didn’t talk for a few weeks and I noticed that I missed him and now we’re talking sort of, but I feel that now its more physical than anything, on his part. I think I do have feelings for him, but the only time he attempts to talk to me is when he is horny. The biggest issue is that I haven’t come out and I don’t feel it’s the right time for me to, but I think if I did, it would help things between me and him. Could you give me any advice?

Yep, pup, you sound pretty confused all right. But then you can hardly be faulted for your bewilderment, being as young as you are.

But if the truth be known, your youth has very little to do with it. The first thing you oughta know is that people grapple with these weighty concerns all their lives. I don’t know anyone who has all this emotional stuff pinned down. Because just as soon as ya think ya have it all figured out, life throws you a curve ball.

You will find if you haven’t done so already, that there is often a very fine line between love and desire, passion and intimacy and lust and affection. You should also know that sometimes, maybe even most of the time, we are out of sync with the person we are involved with. In the immortal words of Stephen Sondheim — either we are at last on the ground, while they’re in mid air. Or they keep tearing around while we can’t move. Since the beginning of time, most songs, epic love stories and romantic poetry have wrestled with the shifting fortunes of matters of the heart…and the groin.

So if you ever do make sense of all of this in your life, just wait a minute. The whole kit and caboodle will surely collapse like a house of cards around your head. That’s what I’ve found in my life anyhow. I still struggle with all of this and I’m fuckin’ old, don’t cha know.

Actually, I believe that the tension between love and lust is the very thing that gives life its spice. The only thing I’ve been able to discover after all this time is that there isn’t a code to break, just a toboggan ride to be had.

Which bring me to the second comment I want to make. I know that a lot of young people…your age and even younger…are experimenting with sex, and that’s not a bad thing necessarily. I do, however, advise discretion. Keep in mind that most people in our culture freak out when they discover that young people actually have a sex live. To that I would add that you probably know that your 19year old playmate is technically breaking the law by cavorting with you, a minor, right? He could get in a shit-load of trouble for bumping an underage lad like you.

And while there’s just a 3-year difference between you, I’d be willing to guess that your friend is considerably more advanced than you in terms of emotional development. If he isn’t, then there’s something very wrong with him. Just be aware that sometimes a disparity in life experience can be used by the more seasoned partner as a means of manipulating the other. And that’s never a good thing.

In terms of coming out, well that’s best done when you are at ease and comfortable in claiming and owning your sexual identity whatever it might be. Since sexuality is often a very fluid thing, there’s no pressing need to self-identify as one thing or another until ya have enough life experience under your belt to be able to say for sure. And even then you may find that your heart…or your dick will lead you elsewhere. Remember what I said about life throwing you a curve ball just as soon as ya think ya have it all figured out? Well it’s true in this regard too.

Finally, and this is the only absolute I have for you today. If you’re old enough to fuck, you’re old enough to know all about safe sex. And not just know about it, but practice it too. If you’re not using condoms, then you’re just a dumb kid with rocks in his head. And I really want to believe that’s not the case with you. Simply put, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections won’t make an exception for you because of your age. Also, you’ll never come to grips with grown-up emotions and all they entail if you’re just a dumb kid with rocks in his head, if ya catch my drift.

Good luck

Bye Bi Love

Name: Dan
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location: Alberta
I am a bisexual that is happily married with children. My wife and I have a great sex life. Every few months I get an urge to have sex with other men. I have acted out on this several times and always practice safe sex. She has caught me surfing gay/bi porn a few times and I think she knows that I have bisexual thoughts. She is interested in anal play with me and has used a dildo on me a few times. Should I come clean with her and risk divorce, which I don’t want, or continue on the way I am going?

I am of the mind that being on the up and up with one’s primary partner is a real good thing, regardless the issue. Practicing a deception, like you’re doing Dan, will take a toll on the quality of life you share. It sounds to me like you’re trying to have your cake and eat it too, or to make a pun…your Kate and Eddie too. Can’t rightly say I think too highly of this.

Most of the bisexual men I know wouldn’t approve of your arrangement either. Because most of the bisexual men I know are not living dual lives. Most are “out of the closet” bisexuals. They’re happier and healthier then their closeted counterparts. They also are less likely to seek anonymous connections with other partners just to relieve their horniness, as you apparently do. In fact when a good friend of mine, a bisexual himself, read your message he was totally put off. He said you’re the kind of bisexual that gives bisexuals a bad name. OUCH!

I may not go that far, but skulking around looking for cock, like you do, while keeping the little woman at home in the dark is a huge problem for me. This sort of behavior also militates against you forming any deeper connection with a guy than a quick furtive tryst might allow. How can years of this sort of thing be satisfying?

Also by siphoning off all your sexual energy like this you blunt the need to channel some of that energy into finding a creative solution to your sexual needs and desires with your wife. You say you have a good sex life together. She sounds pretty understanding and open minded. Most wives would freak for sure if they found their man chokin’ the chicken to gay porn. Are you sure she’d fall apart if she knew you are bi? I’ll bet not as much as she would freak if she comes to learn of your other life from someone other than you. Right? You’re skating on some mighty thin ice, my friend. Besides, most wives have this sixth sense when it comes to this kinda thing. She may already know more about you than you give her credit for. Maybe she’s just waiting to see how long it takes you to let her in on your little secret.

And about the anal sex thing. I suggest you incorporate more of that into your love making with your wife? Hell, get her a nice strap as a gift for being so understanding. You can find a nice selection HERE! I’d also suggest that you introduce your wife to your interest to “bi” porn. Check out some of the Recommended Titles HERE! Who knows where this could lead? It could open a whole new world to you both. It’s not inconceivable that one day you could find yourselves in a three way or some group play. Stranger things have happened don’t cha know.

So Dan, why not give the old honest, straightforward approach a try for a change. Jettison the duplicity. It’s only gonna wind up biting you in the ass one fine day…and not in a good way.

Good luck

Moving Pictures

One of the more common questions I get at Dr Dick Sex Advice is about how to navigate opening a previously sexually exclusive relationship to include another or others.  It’s generally hard to offer advice to a couple that I don’t know.  So I often wind up suggesting some general guidelines — how the couple could begin the discussion, set some ground rules, find a compatible partner(s), enjoy the ride, and debrief afterward.

Unfortunately, this approach can make the idea of a threesome, group sex or swinging pretty mundane.  And believe you me; they are hardly ever that.  That’s why I’m grateful that my colleague, author, columnist, editor, and sex educator, Tristan Taormino, brings to life the joys of a ménage à trois.

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes $29.95

This video is a collaboration between Tristan and the mammoth porn production expert guidecompany, Vivid.  In fact, it’s hard to tell their educational programming from their porn productions.  There are very high production values, as one would expect.  There is none of the awkwardness one might find in an amateur production.  The performers are uniformly beautiful and the sex is hot.

There is a down side to this; however.  It all seems a little too slick and studied; the porn influence, I’d guess.  The performers don’t really discuss what they what to do with each other and everything appears effortless.  This isn’t an accurate representation of any three-way I’ve even known.  And for someone wanting to figure out how to approach this kind of coupling, there’s precious little nuts ‘n bolts kind of information.

But maybe that’s the point, after all.  Does educational and enrichment programming have to be clinical or pedantic?  I don’t think so.  And let’s face it; a whole lot more people fantasize about threesomes than will actually participate in one.  So this is the ideal material for that group.  It’s fun, it’s pretty, it’s full of sex and no one has a care in the world.  Fantasy material indeed!

Oh, and you should know that this presentation has a decidedly heterosexual bent.  There’s girl-on-girl action, no surprise there; but no guy-on-guy action.  Was a teachable moment missed?  I think so, but I wouldn’t have expected anything different from a Vivid production.

I have one major bone to pick with this project; no condoms were used during any of the sex scenes.  This is a HUGE no-no in my book, particularly since this is billed as an educational video.  Would it have killed them to tip their hat to the necessity of safe sex when multiple sex partners are involved?  I gotta tell you I was really disappointed by this.

Tristan opens the DVD with some basics. She talks about some of the reasons why people have a 3-way and the sexual opportunities they present.  She outlines the two kinds of threesomes — The Triangle:  in which everyone is sexual with everyone, and The V: in which two people have sex with a third person, but not each other.

The DVD has, appropriately enough, three scenes.

Scene 1:  We meet India Summer, Hailey James, and Jack Lawrence; they get together for a steamy ménage a trios. Both India and Haileey are hot for some girl-on-girl action, and now they can pig out.  So yeah for that!  There is also some nice toy use in this scene.

Scene 2:  Shows us an example of The “V” type of threesome.  Daisy Marie gets it on with both Derrick Pierce and his friend Christian.  The men do not interact sexually with one another, which was a bummer for me.  But everyone has a good gooey time anyway.

Scene 3: Here we have a wide-open threesome; everyone is into everyone.  Penny Flame and Justice Young make out while Harmony is jillin-off on the bed.  The gals get it on with each other as well as turn their attention to Justice.  A big old vibe is introduced and everyone gets off big time.

Here’s a tip: if you’re can buy materials like this, you can rent this DVD as a whole or by the scene in my How To Video Library.

Full review HERE

Pjur Plus

Hey sex fans!

We have a whole bunch of new Pjur products to introduce you to, so many new ones, in fact, that it will take us two weeks.

Everyone who reads our reviews regularly will already know we’re in the tank for Pjur.  Just take a look at some of our previous reviews HERE and HERE!

Or just use the site’s search function, to your right.  Type in Pjur; and presto!

For those of you who are new to Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews, here’s the lowdown on Pjur (pronounced “pure”).  It’s a German company that has been serving the US market since 1995.   We think they are, hands down, the world’s best personal lubricants, sexual enhancers, and hygiene aids.  To make sure you’re getting the real deal, look for the yellow dot on the package.

We have four products to tell you about today.  But since they fall neatly into two categories we’ll review them that way.  Review crew members, Angie and Carlos are here with their respective assessments.
Pjur Backdoor Anal Comfort Spray $22.95
An exceptional anal spray designed for men. Key ingredient, lauromacrogol*, lightly 41EfmBt7mFL._SS500_desensitizes the anal sphincter to increase his anal pleasure. No lydocaine or benzocaine. Only a few sprays needed per application.

Pjur Backdoor Relaxing Anal Glide $22.95
Long-lasting silicone anal lube designed for men specifically to enhance the pleasure of anal intercourse. Like Pjur AnalyseMe!, but with a higher concentration of ingredients. Jojoba extracts help relax the anal sphincter enhancing the experience. Perfect for use in combination with Pjur Backdoor Anal Comfort Spray.

Carlos:
I’ve wanted to try these products since I began seeing them online. What. it must be a year ago by now. I’m pretty much still learning to explore my ass and so these products have helped me a lot by boosting my confidence.

My situation is different from a lot of guys I know. I’m married to a great woman who I love deeply. I’m also bisexual. My wife has been very supportive of me investigating my queer identity, so I’m thankful for that. She has no interest in pegging me. She thinks the whole idea of a strap-on is ridiculous. So that leaves me with the option of getting into my ass only with a male partner. It always has to be safe sex, of course.

However, the opportunities to play with a man are few and far between. Thus the 31co4Ns77YL._SS500_need for a confidence building measure likes the Backdoor products. I have to use a lot of lube for anal play of any sort, so why not use one that will desensitizes my butt in the process. Makes perfectly good sense to me.

I used both products — Backdoor Anal Comfort Spray and Backdoor Relaxing Anal GlideBackdoor Relaxing Anal Glide. separately as well as together. For me the ideal is using them together. Although I can safely say that if I had to choose just one, I’d go with the lube.

Backdoor Relaxing Anal Glide is very slick compared to a lot of the other water-based lubes I’ve tried. And you have to have a water-based lube when you’re using a latex condom.

I have the greatest confidence in the Pjur product line to bring me the highest quality lubes without all the chemical additives found in other similar products. Pjur products are dermatologist tested.

The promotional materials for the Backdoor line of products says it’s more concentrated, thus more powerful I guess, than the Pjur AnalyseMe! product. I can’t testify to that, because I haven’t had an opportunity to test them side-by-side. But you can read Mick and Chuck’s review HERE.

Full review HERE!

Pjur MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant $22.95
Water based personal lubricant and sexual enhancement product designed for women who desire more pleasure. Ginseng provides a natural stimulating and warming effect 31lu06xkuLL._SS500_thus maximizing her sexual experience. Perfect for use in combination with Pjur MyGlide Stimulation Spray.

Pjur MySpray Stimulation Spray $22.95
A refreshingly different intimacy spray for women. This new formulation contains a unique blend of ingredients designed to stimulate vaginal blood circulation for ultimate arousal, enhancing the sexual experience. Only a few sprays needed per application.

Angie:
I turned 48 this past May. For the last year or so, I’ve been looking into a variety of things that I hoped would assist me in regaining my libido. I’m chalking this libido loss to growing older and the onset of menopause. I realize that I’m experiencing menopause somewhat earlier than most of my friends, which make the event all the more worrisome.

My husband is kind and generous and will often treat me to a backrub when I’m not in the mood. But I know he would rather be more intimate than that. I often feel bad putting him off as frequently as I do; that’s why I’ve been engaged in this search for libido enhancing products.

Like Carlos, I too used both products — MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant and MySpray Stimulation Spray separately as well as together. For me the ideal is using them together. Although I too will say that if I had to choose just one, I’d go with the MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant. The spray is an added and appreciated bonus.

The lubricant has a double effect; it both arouses and warms. And it does so with out harsh chemicals that would irritate sensitive skin like mine. I’ve tried other “warming” lubes and gels, but couldn’t tolerate any of them. MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant is water-based, which is my lubricant of choice. It’s so much easier to clean up than silicone-based lubes.

Like all the Pjur products, MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant is dermatologically tested and extremely gentle to your skin.

Using a personal lubricant is all the more important now that I’m menopausal. I never used to have to worry about dryness all that much in the past. So I figure, why not use a stimulating lube since I have to use a lube anyway. MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant provides just that, a wonderful tingly and warming sensation throughout my genitals.

The MySpray Stimulation Spray works in a different way than does the lubricant. It also provides a tingly sensation that feel like champagne bubbles on my skin. It’s really fun, I must confess. The combination of the lubricant and spray improves blood flow and circulation in my genitals and assists me with sexual arousal.

Full review HERE!

Tune in next week for more new Pjur products.

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