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If it’s not one thing, it’s another…

Name: Malcolm
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Location: Johannesburg
I’m in love with this guy who is as sweet as the day is long. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. What makes him so charming is he’s only recently come out as gay. Before this he was married. He is not jaded like so many other guys I meet. But there’s a problem. He’s real vanilla. I guess that’s the down side of coming out of a heterosexual marriage at the age of 35. He’s happy as a clam fucking me a couple times a week. He thinks anal sex is really adventurous and sexually daring. I on the other hand, am suffocating in the boredom. I know, now I sound really jaded, but I can’t help it. It’s just that there’s so much more to sex than what we are doing. I want to introduce him to some kinky shit, but I’m afraid that I will scare him off. What the fuck should I do?

I absolutely adore messages that start out: “I’m so in love. He/she is everything I ever wanted, blah, blah, blah!” Because I know that only a few words later the other shoe is gonna drop, and drop hard. “But there’s a problem, blah, blah, blah!”

Of course there’s a problem. There is always a problem…even with Mr. or Ms. Perfect, or maybe because your honey is so freakin perfect. Take it from me, sexual dissatisfaction will upset even the most tranquil and rosy apple cart and send everyone into a tizzy. Allow me to share with you something I wrote about this very issue about ten years ago. I think you will find the advice as fresh as the day it was written.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the scum that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked till your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toe jam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear, Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread. Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink is tricky; the whole little love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go either. Why not just stand tall like the disgusting depraved creature you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to little Mary Sunshine. After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life limps. Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows, s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar don’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah’s always talkin’ about. This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with — lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, role-playing, whatever.

Decide on a safe-word, an out of context word your partner could use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play.

Good luck

More of The Erotic Mind of Christine Warren — Podcast #319 — 02/06/12


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

We’re back with more of The Erotic Mind of the New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author, Christine Warren. She charmed the pants off us last week and so I absolutely had to have her come back this week for more.

But wait; you didn’t miss Part 1 of our conversation, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you will find it and all of my shows in the podcast archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the site’s search function in the header, type in podcast #318 and Voilà! But don’t forget to use the #sign when you do your search.

As a special treat, Christine reads from her novel, Born To Be Wild.

Christine and I discuss:

  • Her early writing and the support she received from her family;
  • Discovering Romantica;
  • The embarrassment factor;
  • Writing what she knows;
  • Her audience;
  • Where her plot ideas come from;
  • Writing rituals;
  • The secret baby;
  • Romance and safer sex;
  • Who inspires her and who are her sexual heroes.

Christine invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Great Balls of Fire!

Name: Owen
Gender: Male
Age: 31
Location: Sydney
I got a penis pump as gag gift for my last birthday. We all got a good laugh when I open the package with all my friends sitting around. I put it away thinking I would never use such a thing, mostly because I didn’t know how to use it. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I was bored and while rummaging through my closet I came up with the pump. I decided to figure out how it worked. It was great fun, but I would never tell anyone about this. On a whim I decided to put my balls in the pump because I am really into ball play. I discovered that I liked this even more than I liked the pump on my cock. I don’t know who else to ask, so here goes. Is ball pumping dangerous?

You are such a clever lad, Owen. See, what they say about idle hands being the devils workshop is true, huh?

Actually, guys have been stretching their balls for just about as long as us men folk have had balls to stretch…and that’s a mighty long time. The only thing that screams male virility and potency as much as a big dick is a pair of big low hangin’ nuts. In fact in many societies throughout history a man’s cajones were considered sacred. They were revered as objects of religious, social, cultural and even magical power. In fact in ancient Rome, when a man would take an oath he would grab his balls, just like we put our hand on a bible today. In fact, that’s where we got the word, “testify”, from the Latin: testis.

Men discovered early on that ball stretching was both erotic fun and relatively easy to do. Just to clarify…when I say ball stretching, what I really mean is sack (scrotum) stretching. One cannot really increase the size of his balls (testicles). Soon men in many societies were stretching their junk to call attention to their manliness. With the help of a stretching device of one sort or another, and there are several, men were able to lengthen their balls with very little effort.

So, you’ve discovered the joys of ball stretching using your penis pump, huh? You are not alone. This is a very popular fetish/pastime. Since you already know that your balls are sensitive to touch, pressure and temperature let’s spend a minute getting acquainted with what we have hanging between our legs.

Your family jewels, formally called “testes” are nestled within your nutsack, formally called a “scrotum”. Your two gonads (some guys are born with just one) are your male reproductive organs. They’re kinda oval shaped and are, on average, 1 3/4″ long by 1” wide. Each ball resides in its own independent sac. Your left nut probably hangs lower in its sac than the right one. This is nature’s way of keeping them from banging into one another all the time.

Your ‘nads produce the male hormone, testosterone, and also produce sperm cells. Each one has a number of small tubes attached to it called the epididymides. There’s another tube attached to each ball called the vas deferens (the chord). The vas deferens carry your sperm cells to the prostate gland where the sperm is mixed with seminal fluid. And when the time comes, the whole mess comes shootin’ our your johnson as spooge.

Why not take a minute to carefully fondle one of your balls. If you can picture in your mind’s eye the anatomy of your testicle while you’re groping around down there, you can actually feel the difference between the epididymides and the vas deferens. If you’re not familiar with your testicular anatomy, search the internets for a visual aid, like a nice diagram. These diagrams are not hard to find. Even this gentle non-erotic probing feels way good, huh? No wonder having someone suck on our nuts can drive us boys wild. But I digress.

We’ll get to your questions about ball pumping safety in a minute, Owen. But before we do, I’d like to take this opportunity to look at alternative means of ball stretching for all those in my audience who would like to experiment, but don’t have a pump.

The first method is the simplest and you don’t even need no stinkin’ equipment. Let’s call this the manual method. All ya do is give your huevos a nice sustained tug. Alternate your tugging with some nice ball massage. Over time this will help to lengthen you ball sack because you’re manually forcing it downward. The more you pull and the longer you pull, the more you will affect the hang of your balls. This method is particularly effective after a hot bath or shower. Your skin will be at its most pliable then. This method is safe and effective and even a rank amateur can pull it off, so to speak. You’re not gonna see a lot of results immediately, but your patience will pay off. Listen, even if your objective is not to get lower hanging balls, this’ll be fun and pleasurable all on its one. It might just get you to pay your balls some attention while you’re jerkin off. And that will make both you and your nuts much happier.

Kicking things up a notch, you can invest in a relatively inexpensive ball stretcher. You’ll find a whole bunch of them in Dr Dick’s Stockroom. The most common type of stretcher is a leather band. There are also Neoprene and metal ones too. Simply put, these little buggers just make a space between your testicles and your body. The thicker the band, the greater the space…obviously! Some of these stretchers come weighted; others allow you to add weights to them. This is probably not advised for the novice stretcher, but you’ll be surprised how much fun this can be. Just have your wits about you when you try this. Too much weight for too long a time can cause serious injury. Make sure you use a lubricant to help reduce chafing during your stretching session. Also if you do use weights, don’t move around when you have them attached. That’s just common sense.

Now to the vacuum pump method. Some guys pump their balls separate from their dick, as apparently you do, Owen. Others pump cock and balls together. There are even specifically designed cylinders to facilitate this. For safety sake, keep your pumping sessions to 10 minutes or less. You can throw in a nice massage session afterward and you’ll be one happy fella. Remember overuse or over-enthusiastic pumping can cause blood vessel damage, bruising and blistering. If you’re lucky enough to have a pressure gage on the device you’re using, always keep the pressure between -5 and –10 in Hg (mercury inches), never more.

Your scrotum is highly elastic, so the lengthening you produce will mostly be temporary, unless you do this on a regular basis. Effects will diminish over a period of 24-48 hours.

Good luck

Our First Q&A Show Of The New Year— Podcast #315 — 01/09/12


Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Holy cow, the new year is upon us and I’m all refreshed from my winter break and rarin’ to go. So it’s time to crank up the old microphone so I can bring you another Q&A show.

Say, did you know that this year marks my fifth year in podcasting? The actual anniversary isn’t for another month, but I thought I’d take this opportunity to toot my own horn, so to speak. And I foresee lots of very exciting programming coming your way in 2012.

But now I have this great show in store for you. Because it’s always a thrill to discover what my correspondents toss my way. And you can always count on me, your intrepid sexologist, to respond with clever, resourceful and oh so informative responses. Hey, it’s what I do!

This week we hear from

  • P wants to E-stim both himself and his partner at the same time.
  • Kyle wonders about tight pussies…I think.
  • Haans and his wife are blissful.
  • Chatt Mann is not sure if it’s a good thing to bust his nut in a chick’s mouth.
  • Matt is way more kinky than he’s letting on and he is letting on a lot.
  • Minou is interested in safe scrotal infusion play.
  • Joey is gettin fucked by heavy-hung black guys.
  • Christopher Ryan and I discuss the “cock factor” in straight porn.
  • Lee asks about the advisability of using E-stim with his inflatable penile implant.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Damn-near Perfect

Hey sex fans,

We’re finally back from our all together too brief winter break to bring you the very first installment of our Product Review Friday for 2012. And we have the pleasure of welcoming back some old friends — the good people at WE-Vibe.

I mention this because our first WE-Vibe review was among the very first reviews we ever did, way back in August of 2008. You can find it HERE!

We raved about the WE-Vibe way back then and it also topped our Best Products Of The Year List that year. So let’s just see if this third incarnation of the original is as good as it’s hype.

And for that we check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Jack & Karen.

WE VIBE 3 —— $156.99

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Happy New Year everyone! Gosh, it’s so good to be back with the Dr Dick Review Crew. And to think we’re breaking in the new year while having the honor of introducing you to the marvelous WE VIBE 3 to boot. Well it doesn’t get any better than this.”
Jack: “Absolutely! What a way to launch 2012. Karen and I weren’t around when our colleagues, Kevin and Gina, wrote their review of the original WE-Vibe. But we certainly read it when we got involved with this effort. They had such a unique take on the product. If you haven’t read it; you sure oughta.”
Karen: “We intend to match Gina and Kevin’s genius; so here goes. The WE VIBE 3 is a vibration device that is used internally during penetration. That in itself is revolutionary. Picture for a moment the WE VIBE 3 inside a vagina. It is designed to deliver its powerful vibrations to both the G-spot and the clitoris. It is, of course, fully waterproof and come with a slim remote control. It’s brilliant I tell you.”
Jack: “And if you’re the lucky gent who is slipping and sliding in and out of that vagina Karen had you picture in your mind; well then you are also benefiting from the vibration and there’s the girth of the WE VIBE 3 that makes for a tighter fuck. Win, win and win!”
Karen: “But wait there’s more! There are no batteries; the WE VIBE 3 is rechargeable, which makes my heart sing. It comes with its own, covered induction recharge stand; it’s both discreet and very stylish. It’s perfect for travel. The WE VIBE 3 offers three kinds of stimulation, and it’s completely hands-free!”
Jack: “This gets me to my next point. The WE VIBE 3 is not only for penetration sex, no siree. Once I saw the potential of an insertable vibe with a remote control all bets were off. Soon our trips to the supermarket and the Home Depot became adventures in surprise sex. The WE VIBE 3 is super quiet, so Karen could be standing in a check-out lane talking to the casher, me right next to her, when all of a sudden she breaks out into a huge grin and she throws back her head a bit from the pleasure. The casher probably just thinks she on acid. Secretly pleasuring Karen in public, while standing next to her, is a total kick. I tell you, the contact pleasure for me is amazing.”
Karen: “He’s not kidding. I feel like a naughty schoolgirl. This has really spiced up our sex life. It’s so comfortable to wear that I wore the WE VIBE 3 all evening at the New Year’s Eve party we went to. I had the time of my life. Of course, the Champaign didn’t hurt. At one point, Jack gave the remote to a friend of ours. When I saw Jack go outside to chat with friends, I figured I was safe from a sudden burst of pleasure. But my clit jumped to attention when Jack’s friend, who was standing right next to me, jolted me out of my revelry.”
Jack: “The people who make the WE-Vibe have been committed to producing the very best, revolutionary hands-free vibrator for use during sex since it’s first model. But with each new model they outdo themselves. The We-Vibe 2 added variety; they improved the control button and added vibration patterns. Now the WE VIBE 3, features a 40% power increase and a longer battery life (2 hours per charge).”
Karen: “This jewel has two motors connected by a firm yet flexible neck. All this is in a u-shaped lightly textured vibe that fits in the palm of your hand. It is coated in a seamless body-safe, odorless, tasteless silicone. Because it’s waterproof it can be completely sanitized with bleach or in either boiling water or the dishwasher. So clean up is a breeze. And it comes in your choice of three lovely colors.”
Jack: “Because it is made of silicone, you must only use a water-based lube with this beauty. All the WE VIBE 3 packaging, although very attractive, is completely recyclable. Who says being socially conscious has to be dull?”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY