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Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today.  Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.

This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.

All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off.  Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.

First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.

Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43

I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11.  I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men.  It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.

I’m pretty much a manual masturbator.  I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself.  But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about.  Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve.  I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.

The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product.  It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to.  I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions.  And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.

When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing.  It’s VSI1turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it.  Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.

The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it.  And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect.  So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis.  I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin.  Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head.  It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock.  But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.

The other end of the Sidekick is closed.  That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice.  Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis.  This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles.  I loved it!

There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that.  Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all.  This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands.  I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing.  The other issue is the size.  It’s only 5.5” long.  Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.

You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean.  Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry.  I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky.  So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch.

Next we have a much more elaborate sleeve from The Adult Toy Shoppe folks.

Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99

Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat.  Oh wait, he did!  What luck for us!

I generally jerk off a couple of times a day.  This amazes my partner, Denise.  She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know.  I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid.  Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.pocket-pussy-4-TOH25056

Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve.  Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother?  Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.

This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind.  This stuff rocks!  It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too.  They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.

The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you.  This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes.  But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.

When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me.  I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf.  Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing.  And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it.  The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.

I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin.  Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.

The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help.  However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother.  I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock.  I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that.  It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.

So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome.  Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.

Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied.  But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair.  I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.

So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out.  I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up.  This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned.  Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out.  Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.

Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry.  I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing.  DAMN!  After that, I decided to just let it air dry.

Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky.  I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.”  But what the fuck is “Renew”?

Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.

FleshJack Ice —— $69.95

Dr Dick
So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good thing come to those who wait”.

Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years.  And because of that I convinced myself I knewproduct_aajack_440.jpg everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?

Well, so much for baseless assumptions.

Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.

My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!

The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.

The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.

And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.

I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)

Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!


You Go To My Head

Hey sex fans!

As much as I hate to admit it, it’s that time of the year again.  Today The Dr Dick Review Crew throws it into high gear to bring you our first installment of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide. We want to get as many reviews out there in the next month as possible.  We want you to have a load of swell holiday gift giving ideas, don’t cha know.

This week’s Review Crew includes: Joy & Dixie, Angie and Christa.

We start the day off right with two offerings from Doc Johnson.

Awesome Blossom —— $46.99

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “We have a beauty for you this week. It’s called Awesome Blossom.”
Joy: “We are like totally getting into glass insertables. Six months ago we didn’t own a one. Now we do though.”
Dixie: “Yep, we are now the proud owners of three glass dildos. And they are Sex_Toys_DJ029208spectacular. There is something about glass that really turns my crank.”
Joy: “Awesome Blossom is made of tempered glass. If you treat it with respect, as you would any fine adult toy, this thing will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is so practical. There are no batteries to run down; nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. You can wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. However, if you’re gonna share your Awesome Blossom or any other toy, sterilizing is recommended. Slip it into a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes and then it’s ready to go. Hey, ya can even pop this puppy in the dishwasher for a no fuss, no muss clean up.”
Dixie: “Exactly! And we’re all about sharing.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our gay-boy friends, that Awesome Blossom makes a wonderful ass play toy too. You see it has a base on it that will keep it from popping into your pooper. The base also lets us use it in our harness. So there’s that!”
Dixie: “You can either chill or warm this beauty. And when it comes to lube; any lube will do. Regardless what kind of lube you choose, just know that a little goes a very long way.”
Joy: “In our rush to tell you all the features of glass, we have yet to describe Awesome Blossom. Atop the spiraled, clear-green shaft there is a clear teardrop shaped head. Inside the head is a three-dimensional image of a flower. The flower is a kind of wildflower, I would guess. The kind that blankets a meadow in the spring. It’s really sweet and lovely.”
Dixie: “The shaft is just over 1″ in diameter. The head is only a bit larger at about 1 1/4″ in diameter. The whole thing is just under 8” tall. There’s a bit of a curve to the shaft which make it perfect for G-spot (or P-spot) stimulation.

Next, Angie is up with the other Doc Johnson toy.

Alumination — Pink —— $29.90

Hello everyone! So glad to be with you again. I have the pleasure, both literally and figuratively, of introducing you to Alumination. It is my first metallic vibe and I like it very much.

It’s about as simple and straightforward a pleasure instrument as possible. It’s very slim and sleek; it’s made of aluminum; it’s waterproof; and it’s a 3-speed vibrator. It runs on two AAA-batteries (not included in the package). It’s not gonna knock your socks off in the power department, but it does get the job done.31iAhYUq8iL._AA280_

One of the best features of an aluminum toy is that it is so heat sensitive. You can add additional sensations to the vibration by chilling and/or warming the toy. My favorite is chilling it by dipping it in a dish of ice water for a few moments. Oh MY!

It’s just 6″ long, maybe 3/4” in diameter. Like I said, slim and sleek. It’s very quiet too, which I really appreciate.

Those of you who follow my reviews know that I love a waterproof vibe more than anything. Bath time is my time and my Alumination has been my companion for several weeks now. Only had to replace the batteries once. The battery compartment is easy to open and close, which is a huge plus in my book.

Aluminum is nonporous and hypoallergenic. Cleanup with mild soap and water; wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution or peroxide. You can even sterilize it in boiling water for a couple minutes.

Finally, the oh so charming Christa will tell us about her Synergy Erotic vibe.

Silicone Tsunami, Lavender  —— $59.99

Wow, Dr Dick, you called on me to review a normal toy this time.  What, you couldn’t find any freaky stuff for me?  How odd!

Just kidding.  I know I’m weird and all, but hey, I have my normal moments too.  And the Tsunami is perfect for when I’m being my other self, the small town girl from Indiana.SYN2500206

So here’s the 411 on this amazing little vibe.  It runs on 2 AA-batteries.  Unfortunately, none came in the package.  Hey you guys, some of us are starving students!  Toss us a bone here and include some freakin’ batteries in your package, why don’t cha?

Anyhow, this sweetie is 100% silicone, which is like the only material that I’ll let near my precious pussy.  I gotta have hypoallergenic or forget about it!  I also sometime share my toys with my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He’s this total ass whore.  I’m the first chick he ever had play with his prostate.  Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time.  SHEESH!

You can share silicone toys because you can sterilize them.  I can swish the Tsunami in boiling water for that purpose. I also wipe down my toys with a 10% bleach solution and a lint-free cloth between each use.  But you can use peroxide or rubbing alcohol too. Warm water and mild soap is what I use if I’m gonna keep the toy all to my self.

The wicked thing about the Tsunami is that it has 10 fuckin’ vibration modes.  That’s like crazy!  I never had a toy with so many different vibrations.  Luckily, it has an on/off button too, so you don’t have to run through all the modes to get to off.  Much appreciate that!


Diddlin’ With Dai-Dö

Hey sex fans,

When they hand out the awards for outstanding design in adult products, and if the Dai-Dö No 6 isn’t at the top of the list, I will want to know why.

This puppy is nothing short of revolutionary.  And get this, Dai-Dö No 6 is just one of the amazing new designs from the good people at Big Tease Toys.

I now turn this over to the couple that knows their Big Tease Toys, Gina & Kevin.

Dai-Dö No 6 —— $58.99

Gina & Kevin

Gina: “Dr Dick is right, Kevin and I are familiar with Big Teaze Toys. We’ve already reviewed I Rub My Duckie and I Rub My Wormie.”
Kevin: “We still play with our Big Teaze Toys in the bath. They never grow old.”
Gina: “Our previous reviews were of the playful side of Big Teaze Toys. Today we bring you their sophisticated side. Have you ever seen anything like this before? I hadn’t. But I’m sure glad we lucked out and scored this review.”
Kevin: “We’ve come to expect the unexpected from Big Teaze Toys. Like the bath toys that are fun, functional and yet real conversation pieces, Dai-Dö No 6 is all that and more. It has a distinctive teardrop shape that is stunningly elegant. We have the ruby red one. It’s fashioned from a superior grade aluminum alloy and stainless steel for a lifetime of pleasure. This also means that Dai-Dö No 6 can be both chilled and warmed to suit your mood and add to the sensations.”
Gina: “And pleasure you will have! You see it weighs in at nearly 12oz, which is the secret to its hands-free pleasuring capacity. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The bulb-shaped handle is ringed with black silicone that allows you to grip it easily, even with lubed fingers. We used water-based lube so as not to damage the silicone band.”
Kevin: “Dai-Dö No 6 is all about G-spot and P-spot pleasuring! Once the teardrop end is inserted in either pussy or butt-hole the weighted handle does it’s magic. Because of its unique shape you can even use Dai-Dö No 6 as either a butt plug or a pussy plug.”
Gina: “And here’s the kicker; this is the most perfect implement I’ve ever used for doing Kegel exercises. You simply can’t beat it!”
Kevin: “Gina is right! I can flex and tone my ass muscles as well as do my Kegels.” It’s like weight training for my asshole…literally!”
Gina: “The same is true for my vaginal muscles; it’s brilliant. Don’t get us wrong; like I said a bit ago, this is a potent pleasure tool. I elevate my pelvis on some pillows, insert Dai-Dö No 6, manually position it to make love to my G-spot, then rapidly flex my vaginal muscles to make Dai-Dö No 6 bounce. My hands were free to roam my body from nipples to clit.”
Kevin: “I did the same thing only through the backdoor. I can’t get over how great the heft feels. Just contracting my sphincter make the Dai-Dö No 6 dance.”
Gina: “It’s the ideal toy for solo play, but it’s just as functional in couple play.”
Kevin: “And because Dai-Dö No 6 is made of a nonporous material, it’s easily sterilized for sharing. Mild soap and water to clean; a 10% bleach solution, boiling or the dishwasher to disinfect. Obviously it’s waterproof, but you’ve already figured that out, huh?”

Full Review HERE!

Cum All Ye Faithful

Look for my new

Product Reviews!


Hey sex fans,

Holy cow!  It’s Week 2 of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1 of this amazing panoply?  Shame on you!  Check out REVIEW #25 if ya did.

As you know, the Dr Dick Review Crew is throwing our product review apparatus into high gear.  We want to get as many reviews out there as possible before the end of the year.  We certainly don’t want to leave you hanging…as to what is hot and juicy in the holiday gift giving department, don’t cha know.

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Tag — First Posted Review
  • Me, Dr Dick — Reviews #1 – 5, 7 – 10, 12, 14, 15, 19, 21, 25
  • Angie — Reviews #12, 16
  • Christa — First Posted Review

First up is Tag, who introduces us to two glass dildos from Don Wands — The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand and the Pink Nubby Rocket.
Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand $79.99

My name is Tag and this is my first published outing with the Dr Dick Review Crew. Dr Dick and I go way back, but that’s another story all together.


The Cobalt Blue Smooth Vibrating Glass Wand is waterproof and like all glass dildos it’s hypo-allergenic, nonporous, ultra-smooth and very durable. I really appreciated the fact that the first set of batteries (2 AA’s) were included in the package. There’s nothing I hate more than bringing home a battery-operated toy only to discover that the batteries are not included. There oughta be a law against that!

Anyhow, I’m no stranger to glass insertables. In fact, I have an absolutely stunning one that DD gave me last spring. It’s hard (no pun intended) not to make a comparison between the first one and these two. But before we get to that, let’s evaluate the two Don Wands glass dildos on their own merits.

Read more of this review here

Pink Nubby Rocket $29.99pink.jpg

Tag: I almost got myself off with ‘Big Blue’, when I happened to look over and see the slightly more petite pink puppy waiting to take me for a ride. I carefully released my grip on ‘Big Blue’, clamped down to stem the tide of my building orgasm and turned my attention to the Pink Nubby Rocket.

Actually Pink Nubby Rocket isn’t so little. Approximately 7 ” in length and 1″ in diameter; this rose-colored dong features a nicely curved shaft with a whole lot of nubbies. It has a nice base to hold on to for pumping in and out and directing the head to your P-spot (or G-spot).

Read more of this review here

Next, Angie and I introduce three delicious products from the oh so creative people at Earthly Body — A Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods, an Edible Candle — Watermelon and an Aromatherapy Candle — Melt Away.

Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away 6 oz. $15.99

One of the best things about being Dr Dick is sharing the bounteous melt-away-hi-res.jpgproducts sent to me for review with my Review Crew.  It’s like bein’ friggin’ Santa Claus all year long.  Despite my exceptionally big heart there are always some pangs of envy as I see a product I covet go off to a new home in the hot little hands of one of my posse.  Generosity is so bittersweet.

I had the damnedest time trying to choose among these Earthly Body products.  Each one is a mini treasure.  But since I am an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork I chose the Aromatherapy Earthly Body Candle — Melt Away as my keeper…

Read more of this review here

Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods 6 oz. $15.99

Edible Candle — Watermelon 4 oz. $15.99

Angie: I couldn’t agree more with the Dr D! I was thrilled when asked to round-massage-med-res.jpgreview these two candles — the Heart-Shaped Massage Body Candle — Naked in the Woods and the Edible Candle — Watermelon. They are scrumptious.

I have very sensitive skin, so I have to be very careful what products I use. Initially, I was concerned that fragranced products, like these, would not sit well on my skin. So I decided to visit the Earthly Body website and do some homework before my first use. I was delighted to learn that all their products are vegan and nontoxic.

My first use was right after my bath. I lit a candle, which fragranced the room while I enjoyed my bath. Naked in the Woods has a light earthy sent with just a hint of pine. the Edible Candle — Watermelon is…well all edible-watermelon-candle-hi-res.jpgwatermelon-y. Is there such a word? Depending on my mood, I had a choice between earthy and fruity. By the time if finished my bath, there was enough liquefied oil to generously moisturize my legs. This is a much finer oil than what I usually use, so much more silky.

Read more of this review here

And now for something completely different!  Our next line of products will be introduced by a newcomer to the Review Crew — Christa.

Here’s the thing.  The exceptionally irreverent and downright blasphemous folks are Divine Interventions have cum up with a line of exquisite silicone insertables.  You say; “Ok Dr Dick, we loves us some silicone dildos!”  Yeah, everyone on the Review Crew said the same thing.

But not so fast, since these remarkable insertables are fashioned in a most unorthodox manner (to say the least) no crew member had the audacity to take them on.  That is until Joy turned me on to her 20-something goth-chick pal, Christa.  She was like totally down with the whole sacrilegious concept, as you will see.

Diving Nun $59

Christa here!  I can’t believe that you’re just gonna fork over three totally nun.jpgbitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free.  And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.
So ok, I can see where these are not for everyone.  People are so fuckin’ uptight about shit like this.  But like I said, that only makes them more of a turn on for me.

Take the Diving Nun for instance.  This is a no nonsense dong, 7-3/4” tall with a 1-3/4” diameter.  This will fill you up.  It comes in lots of hot colors.  Mine is appropriately virgin Mary blue.  What’s so great about this particular dildo is that it has a suction base.  It’ll stick to the floor, if you’re takin it up the ass or to the wall if you wanna hands-free pussy-fuck yourself.  Now, that’s what I call versatile!  I had my way with this thing in the shower the other day and I’m still walkin’ funny today…

Read more of this review here

Baby Jesus Butt Plug $35baby.jpg

I saved the Baby Jesus Butt Plug for my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex.  He is like this total ass whore.  I was the first girlfriend he ever had that fingered his hole and played with his prostate.  Now it’s ‘fuck me, fuck me, fuck me’ all the time.  This butt plug is perfect for keeping him stuffed and horny so that he gets me off a bunch of times before he does himself.  And I can just lay back and enjoy.  If you have an ass-hungry man in your life, or you are ass-hungry yourself and you’d get off even more by shovin’ an icon where the sun don’t shine; this is the plug for you…

Read more of this review here

Jackhammer Jesus $65jack.jpg

The ultimate in blasphemy!  Ever get in the mood to go like all Linda Blair in the Exorcist?  Frankly I hadn’t ever thought about it till I discovered that my Jackhammer Jesus is a silicone crucifix with a beautiful dickhead at the foot of the cross. Then all manner of wickedness crossed (no pun intended) my mind.

This beauty rivals the Diving Nun in size, 7-1/2” tall by 1-3/4” diameter. It’s not as versatile as the Nun, because it doesn’t have a suction base.  But Jackhammer Jesus is even more twisted…

Read more of this review here


Hey Sex Fans,

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I have the pleasure of introducing ya’ll to some of my more pervy correspondents and their gift giving quandaries. Nowadays, everyone wants to say “I Love You,” but they want to do it with an EDGE. Thanks to the treasure-trove that is My Stockroom, I’m able to bring you yet another installment of my ever so popular — Sex Toy Awareness feature

Name: Monroe
Gender: Male
Age: 36
Location: Michigan
My wife is gonna get a gang bang for Valentine’s Day. Shes like a total sex freak. I want to get something to bump it up. We tried a blindfold in the past, but it kept slipping down or up when things got heavy. I was thinking about a hood but what kind should I get?

Ahhh, sweet love! Nothing says “Be Mine” like an old-fashioned gangbang. I have to congratulate you,j419.jpg Monroe; you win the best non-traditional Valentine’s Day date award for this year. When other couples are basking in the intimacy of their love for one another, you guys will be sharing the wealth. You go, kids.

I feel your pain about the blindfold slippin’ and slidin’ in all that athletic sex. I mean, how’s a chick to concentrate on all that cock when an ill-fitting blindfold distracts her attention. That simply won’t do!

I concur with your estimation of the situation; a hood would be so much better suited to the goings-on you have planned. And you’re right; there are so many styles to choose from. Of course, one would want the thing to be as comfortable as it is durable for those marathon sessions. But I would think it also needs to be easy to clean. You know how careless some of those gangbangers can be with their spooge.

That’s why I’m delighted to turn you on to this stylish little number — The Spandex Hood with Blindfold and Mouth Hole (J419). This lightweight, non-abrasive, smooth black spandex hood is a simple, elegant bondage accessory that comes with a built-in, padded blindfold and reinforced opening for the mouth. This makes it oh so flexible for a range of intimate play.

It’s easy to maintain too. The hood is resistant to body oils, perspiration, jizz and lotions, and can be washed by hand with gentle soap. Bonus points: the spandex will not catch or pull hair coming on or off (for that, you’re on your own).

Name: Janice
Gender: female
Age: 22
Location: Toledo
My girlfriend and I are discovering our kinky side. We’re both very ticklish and we’ve been playing with that pain/pleasure edge in some of our sensory play. We’re looking to move beyond our homemade sex toys (mostly kitchen gadgets and hair brushes). I want to get her something for Valentine’s Day. I can’t go hole hog like I would like, cuz I’m still in college and my budget is real tight. Suggestions?

kl512.jpgI absolutely love it…”Hole hog”! Were you making a pun, or was that the most delicious typo ever? Either way, darlin, I got to tell you; I’m gonna steal this and use it later on.

To your vexing gift giving concern, I think I may have just the thing for you and the GF. For less than the price of a dozen long stem roses (that will only wilt and fade), you could have this handy (no pun intended) device — The KinkLab Vampire Gloves (KL512).

These soft, sexy leather gloves have a fierce side: prickly metal points on the fingertips. They create an intense ticklish sensation. They’re great for sensory play. And if you also employ a blindfold and some sweet, sweet bondage…well you can have yourself a ball.

These gloves are designed to help you realize your own vision of how passionate, creative, and pervy your private erotic life can be.

Name: Jordan
Gender: male
Age: 48
Location: North Dakota
My new lady friend is so sweet. She indulges my nylon stocking fetish. (My ex-wife would have none of it.) Sometimes she will make dinner in nothing more than an apron and my beloved stockings or vacuum the carpet in stockings and high heels and nothing else. It is so hot I get excited just thinking about it. I want to show her my gratitude and get her something nice for VD. I want to get her something sexy to go with her stockings.b483.jpg Unfortunately we’re here in ND and there’s nothing like that around here. Can you help doc?

I’m gonna guess that you mean Valentine’s Day when you write — VD. Otherwise I don’t know what the fuck!

Listen up, you old dog; you have this whole gift-giving thing backwards. You say you want to reward your new lady friend for her forbearance of your stockings kink. That’s mighty generous of you. But then you go on to say that you want to get her something that will only enhance your fetish pleasure. This reminds me of the guy who went out and bought his wife a pair of waders (in his size) to reward her for letting him go fishing all the time. You men are all alike!

Ok, on the off chance that your lady friend actually likes the stockings thing almost as much as you, I have this for you both — A Black Leather Garter Belt (B483).

This garter belt is made from soft, high-quality, black garment leather. The seams at the front and sides will accentuate the lady’s contours, while the soft, adjustable, black elastic at the clasp on the back and at the legs allows for a snug and sexy fit.

It’s also super sexy, and very comfortable to wear.

Name: Ivy
Gender: female
Age: 31
Location: Calgary
I’m super jealous of my best gay pal who has a penis pump. We were smokin some herb the other night and he showed it to me. I thought holy shit why don’t they make something like that for chicks?

And you wonder why they call that stuff DOPE!vag_cyl.jpg

Girl, simmer down there; don’t be gettin your skanties in a twist. Lookie here, it’s a — Vagina Cylinder (C012). The perfect Valentine’s Day gift for yourself.

The Vagina Cylinder is made of industrial grade clear cast acrylic, just like the male counterpart. The airlock release valve at the end of each cylinder will connect directly to the pump. The device is designed to create extra sensitivity in your pussy lips, don’t cha know. The 2″ deep cup is 3″ wide and 4″ long.

The cylinder fits completely over your gash, and when a Brass Hand Pump is attached and used, it creates a vacuum, causing your sweet lips to swell and tingle. See, now you and your gay pal can pump till your hearts are content.

PS: Dr Dick discourages pumping while stoned!

Name: Dmitri
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: Miami
I like to fuck mens and women too. I can go for hours and never get tired. But sometimes my legs hurt after. How do I stop this?

j414.jpgYa gotta love an equal-opportunity fucker! And one that can go for hours…why, that’s almost too good to be true. But you’re right, pal, all that muscle strain keeping your partners’ toes pointin’ to Jesus, can really cramp…literally…your style.

But wait, there may be a quick fix. Check out this sweet puppy — The Deluxe Portable Leather Thigh Sling (J414). Now your bottom can do most of the work keepin’ his or her legs out of harms way.

This Premium Leather Sling is perfect for traveling, or for places that cannot handle a full sling or suspension system.

Simply slide the padded neck brace behind your bottom’s neck, and slip his/her thighs through the adjustable padded loops. The sling cradles the neck and keeps his/her legs open wide for lusty accessibility.

Made of heavy duty leather, this sling will hold up to rough play and extended wear. It has two D-rings at the back of the neck brace to attach wrist restraints for more bondage control. The leg straps each have adjustable steel buckles, and the padded neck and thigh braces are made of softer garment leather with a foam core. Fabulous, huh?

Name: Nina
Gender: female
Age: 33
Location: TX
My husband and I were in San Francisco for a professional conference in September. It just so happened that the Folsom Street Fair was happening that same weekend. We walked down to see the sites. We were completely blown away. My husband is very handsome and keeps himself in very good shape. All the gays down here all think he’s hot.
Anyhow, Jim, my husband took a keen interest in all the leather wear. I thought I would surprise him with one of those things that go on the chest. I’m not sure what they’re called.c489.jpg Nor do I know to get the right size. Do you have any useful information?

Yes, my dear, I have plenty of useful information. I’m sure you meant that in a nice way.

So you got an eye-full, at the Folsom Street Fair, huh? I’ll bet! For those in my audience who don’t know what the FSF is, it’s the culmination of San Francisco’s Leather Pride Week. And there ain’t nothin’ like it no place else, don’t cha know.

So before I move on to your query, I have to ask. What does your sizzlin’-hot hubby do down there in the lone star state that he is the object of so much admiration by the gays?

Ok, that leather thing that goes on a dude’s chest? I think you’re referring to a harness. If I’m right, this should do the trick, so to speak — A Studded Full Frontal Harness (C489)

This here is a brand new take on a great fetish classic — the chest harness. It can be combined stylishly with boots, gloves, a mask, or any other fetish fashion. It is also simply striking and sexy on its own. This will surely show off hubby’s attributes at a party, a club or the local PTA meeting. It well also great for a hot and heavy scene with you at the old homestead.

Black leather 11⁄2″ straps, with alternating silver metal studs, will adjust to fit his chest with chrome snaps which connect to two sets of dual chrome O-Rings. A chrome cock ring is also included with this harness. The harness is strong, sturdy, and oh so masculine.

The 11⁄2” genuine black leather torso-cock strap with alternating silver metal studs, matches the harness perfectly, and can fasten to the front O-ring and to the chrome cock ring, or any cock ring he chooses, for an arousing and secure fit.

You will find a key to buying the appropriate size right there in My Stockroom.

Good luck ya’ll