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Off Limits? The Best Sexual Positions for People with Limited Mobility

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Aging brings changes to our physical and emotional states. These changes can have both positive and negative affects when it comes to sexual intimacy. While it’s not a given that desire and frequency of sex decrease as we get older, it may be necessary to accommodate the limited mobility many of us experience over time. Painful joints, decreased flexibility, and physical disabilities can all contribute to restricted mobility. Rather than allow limited mobility to get in the way, we’ve provided illustrated positions to help you and your partner continue to be intimate. Remember that not all positions work for every individual or couple. Do what feels best for you and your partner and pay attention to any discomfort. Read on for our suggestions that appropriate for various conditions.

The Best Sexual Positions for People with Limited Mobility

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Basic Sexual Positions For One And All!

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I would like to offer another of my Sexual Enrichment Tutorials. This one is titled: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All!

I’m forever hearing from folks who need a little help with the whole sex positions thing. You wouldn’t think this would be such a bugaboo for so many; but it is. Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it a lack of creativity? Or is it simply a “but we’ve always done it this way” mentality? Whatever the cause of this woeful lack of sexual know-how, Dr Dick is here to spread the good news that you can and ya oughta try something new every now an again.

We will be looking at several positions today — nothing too advanced, mind you, just some basic things you can try that might solve some of the nagging problems I hear about on a regular basis. And here’s the deal — most people are up for at least this amount of sexual experimentation. And who knows where this little adjustment could lead? You may find that if you open the door to change by experimenting with a different position or two, ya’ll could be on your way to lot of other adaptations in the future. And experimentation is the very best way to prevent your fucking from getting boring.

Ok, so we’re all well acquainted with the so-called “missionary position,” right? This is the man on top, woman on the bottom position, just the way god likes it. Or the way the Christian missionaries thought it should be when they discovered lots of pagan folk were having way too much fun with all those exotic positions.

Despite it being much maligned, the good old missionary position is swell if you like face-to-face fucking. And that’s never a bad place to start. This position allows for a lot of physical front-to-front body contact including kissing. Lots of folks like this position because of intimacy it provides. I hasten to add that this isn’t the only position that allows for face-to-face fucking, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

The downside of this position is it can be a whole lot of work for the partner on top, while being really confining for the partner on the bottom. This is especially true if the guy on top is of the jumbo variety. It also isn’t the best position for the woman if she’s fucking a guy with a big dick. Men obviously love this position because it gives them easy access to their partner’s tits. It’s not so pretty good if he wants to get his hands on her clit. But since most guys have a fairly good idea what to do with a pair of knockers, and are often perplexed with what to do with a clit, this is fine with them. Unfortunately, this position can leave a woman woefully unsatisfied.

A couple could vary things a bit by having the woman sit on the couch, legs spread with her man on the floor on his knees. This way he could happily plug away at her without weighting her down. Also the guy won’t have to balance himself with his hands while looming over his woman, as in the missionary position. This will free his hands to roam all over his partner’s body. Just think; with a little luck he could actually stumble upon the woman’s clit. And wouldn’t that be a red-letter day for all concerned? This position can be hell on one’s knees, however.

The opposite of the traditional missionary position is the “woman on top,” or “cowgirl” position. This is a sweet position for a chick mostly because it allows her to fully control the speed and depth of her man’s thrusts.  All the woman has to do here is climb on her man while he lay on his back. With her legs to either side of his hips, she can easily access his cock for a nice hand job before she guides it home. Since she’ll be able to move up or down his body at will, she can direct his dick at her clit and use it like a dildo. This is also a great position for anyone who wants to experiment with ass fucking. And all the while the man will still have free access to his partner’s boobs, so you know he’ll be as happy as a pig in shit.

There’s also the “reverse cowgirl, which is exactly like the “cowgirl, only completely different. In the reverse cowgirl position, the chick faces away from her man. He gets to admire and slap her ass and pull her hair. The woman, on the other hand, gets complete access to the guy’s johnson and his family jewels. Women, feel free to give you guy’s huevos a nice squeeze and don’t forget to tug on them too. Men generally do this while they’re jerkin off, so he’ll already be familiar with the sensations. Ya see, most men get off on ball play big time. Once the guy is inside of the woman in the position, his wang will hit the back of her vagina as opposed to the front. Lots of women like this because of the very different stimulation it provides.

If you’re lookin to stay with a more traditional style consider the benefits of spooning. It’s kinda like the missionary position, except you’re both on your side. Right away you can see the benefits of that, huh? He can still wrap you up in his big burly arms and even throw a leg over you for that complete sensu-round sensation. You can spoon face-to-face, or back to front. This makes for an effortless fuck. So much so that couples have been known to doze off mid screw in this position. Perfect for when lovers are too pooped for an athletic pop.

Then there’s the ever-popular “doggy style,” or “rear-entry” position. This is well suited to both pussy fuckin and ass fuckin. In this position the bottom will be on his/her knees face down, while his/her partner takes him/her from behind. The best part of this position is the freedom you’ll both have to use your hands. If the woman is on the bottom, she can prop herself up with one hand and still have the other free to diddle her clit or grab her man’s nuts between her legs. If the man’s on the bottom, he can take it up the ass with relative ease. If the woman is on top she can grab her partner’s hips and peg him with ease. If the man is on top he can hold on to his partner’s hips with one hand and still have the other to manhandle her hooters. What this position might lack in face-to-face intimacy it makes up for in vigorous fun.

For a sweet gentle fuck a woman could try sitting in her man’s lap. He’s seated in a chair, or cross-legged on the floor, while she sits astride his lap. She can mount him face-to-face, or with her back to him. This position doesn’t allow for whole lot of athletic thrusting, but it’s fantastic for some delicious slow rhythmic rocking. And the top partner will be able to set the rhythm. Both partner’s hands will be totally free to tweak one another’s nipples. Or the woman could guide his hands to her clit and show him what’s up down there.

Lastly, there the good old fashioned stand up position. This is particularly appropriate for those desperately horny moments that allow for only a quick, zip-less fuck. If the man is a strapping lad, he’ll have no problem sweeping the little woman off her proverbial feet and planting his boner inside her. This will take a bit of balance and stamina, particularly on the part of the dude, but these overheated hormonally driven fucks won’t last very long, if ya catch my drift.

Remember, you don’t need to stick to just one of these positions per screw. You can mix and match and change positions at will. You can even make a game of it. One of you could decide upon the position while the other of you determines the type of movement, angle of penetration, rhythm and speed.

Now, go forth and be creative, why don’t cha already.

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A beginner’s guide to foot fetish foot fetish

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Some foot play ideas you can both enjoy

Does your man love your feet?

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If you’re a women who has ever worn sandals, heels or any type of shoe which exposes your toes, there’s every chance you would have been eyed up. Just not where you were expecting.

Many people can be squeamish about a foot fetish, and I’m not sure why. Is it yet another part of our body we’re supposed to be ashamed of? Personally I like my feet, they get me to all sorts of places.

Other people have sensitive feet, and don’t like them being touched. That’s fine, they can still be admired in a myriad of ways.

The basic fact of the matter is that foot fetishes are incredibly common. It’s one of the basic moves in Domination – when someone is made to do something so degrading and disgusting as licking your feet then that’s when they feel at their most submissive.

If you suspect that your partner has a foot fetish, then I have a few tips to get you started. One quick caveat – yes, there are female foot fetishists out there, but for ease I’m coming very much from the angle of a straight woman playing with a man.

(If you’re still not too sure about trying any of these then just look on the bright side – chances are you’ve already been a participant!)

Foot Massage

Domination isn’t about whips and chains. It’s about one partner pleasing the other, so a daily foot massage on the couch could definitely become part of your routine – isn’t that great!?

And if you’re worried about cracked heels or funky nails, make that part of it. Get him to buy the cream, pedicure set… and if he’s a good boy he might even be allowed to paint your toenails.

Don’t get self conscious about your feet – make it his job to perfect them.

Shoes

In this case one size does not fit all. Some people are into sandals, some into heels, others into stilettos, some people just love feet in the nip.

Find out what your partner likes, but also experiment for yourself – what do you enjoy wearing? What makes you feel powerful and sexy?

You don’t even have to be able to walk in them. I have a giant pair of stilettos that I love, but can only wear sitting down – which definitely doesn’t stop the fun!

My only recommendation is you need something that’s patent.

To put it bluntly, make sure they’re ‘wipe clean’.

Toe tease

I would start a typical Domination session by getting the sub to lick my shoes. I’d make him go over the shoe with his tongue before finally sucking the heel in a tease before taking my shoes off and allowing him to lick my feet proper.

But there’s more that you can do if he’s really into your sexy soles.

Make him lie on his back, and suck off each of your toes one by one. Tell him you want his tongue to go around each toe, in and out the of gabs between and finally push as many as you can into his mouth to see how much he can take.

Run your toes down his body (Don’t be afraid to sit down. Better than toppling over into the wardrobe, as I’ve learnt from bitter experience), dig your toes into his nipples even. But keep coming back to making him lick and kiss your delicate tootsies.

Foot job

It’s a real thing. Place the penis between the arches of your feet and… have at it. This doesn’t work for everyone as your feet are obviously not as dexterous as your hands, but a lot of foot lovers will dig it.

There’s many ways you can try – I think it’s just having a peen on a foot that’s the excitement, so go with whatever you find comfortable.
(I always added an extra element by saying that if they happened to get my feet ‘messy’, they’d have to lick it up afterwards. But maybe that’s more for the intermediate lesson.)

Toeing

Bend him over and wear him like a sock.

How many toes you can fit in is up to you and your lubricant.

I’m also lead to believe that ‘Toeing’ is the female equivalent of a foot job – i.e rubbing your toes against her clitoris.

Admittedly, that escalated quickly.

But don’t worry, it’s rarely reciprocal. Just because they want to play with your paws does not mean you’re obliged to start messing around with their hooves. Not at all!

Some of these choices might seem a bit extreme – that’s where communication comes in. Just because your partner likes your feet it doesn’t mean they have en extreme foot fetish. It could just mean they like them as a cute, curvy extension of you

Some men, however, will have spent that whole tube journey imagining your feet in their mouth. So always best to check where on the scale your own little foot-lover lies.

At the end of the day, liking feet is not weird or unusual. It can actually be quite hot. It’s intimate, sensual, and is one of the rare breeds of fetishes where there doesn’t have to be any fussy equipment or positions.

Instead, you can both enjoy a foot massage on the sofa whilst watching Netflix. Easy.

Complete Article HERE!

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Why Aftercare Is The BDSM Practice That Everyone Should Be Doing

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By Sophie Saint Thomas

If you’re unfamiliar with the BDSM scene, you might think it’s all whips, handcuffs, and pleasurable pain, but there’s one important element that BDSM practitioners have built into their sex lives to make sure that everyone involved feels safe and cared for after play time is over: a practice known as aftercare. And whether you’re into BDSM or have more vanilla tastes, aftercare is something everyone should be doing.

In the BDSM world, aftercare refers to the time and attention given to partners after an intense sexual experience. While these encounters (or “scenes,” as they’re called) are pre-negotiated and involve consent and safe words (in case anyone’s uncomfortable in the moment), that doesn’t mean that people can forget about being considerate and communicative after it’s all over. According to Galen Fous, a kink-positive sex therapist and fetish sex educator, aftercare looks different for everyone, since sexual preferences are so vast. But, in its most basic form, aftercare means communicating and taking care of one another after sex to ensure that all parties are 100% comfortable with what went down. That can include everything from tending to any wounds the submissive partner got during the scene, to taking a moment to be still and relish the experience, Fous says.

Specifically, with regards to BDSM, the ‘sub-drop’ is what we are hoping to cushion [during aftercare],” says Amanda Luterman, a kink-friendly psychotherapist. A “sub-drop” refers to the sadness a submissive partner may feel once endorphins crash and adrenaline floods their body after a powerful scene (though dominant partners can also experience drops, Fous says).

Of course, you don’t have to be hog-tied and whipped to feel sad after sex. One 2015 study found that nearly 46% of the 230 women surveyed felt feelings of tearfulness and anxiety after sex — which is known as “postcoital dysphoria” — at least once in their lives (and around 5% had experienced these feelings a few times in the four weeks leading up to the study). Experts have speculated that this may stem from the hormonal changes people (particularly those with vaginas) experience after orgasm, but many also say that it can come from feeling neglected. The so-called “orgasm gap” suggests that straight women, in particular, may feel that their needs in bed are ignored. And Luterman says that people in general can also feel lousy post-sex if they’re not communicating about what they liked and didn’t like about the experience.

Clearly, taking the time to be affectionate and talk more after sex — a.k.a. aftercare — can make sex better for everyone, not just those who own multiple pairs of handcuffs. So what does that mean for you? It depends on the kind of sex you’re having, and who you’re having it with.

Taking the time to be affectionate and talk more after sex — a.k.a. aftercare — can make sex better for everyone, not just those who own multiple pairs of handcuffs.

Like we said, there are lots of guidelines for BDSM aftercare, specifically. If you’re having casual sex, aftercare can mean simply letting your guard down and discussing the experience, something that can be scary to do during a one-night stand. It’s definitely dependent on the situation, but Luterman says that you can just express that you had a good time and see if they’re interested in seeing you again (if those are thoughts you’re actually having). “People want to be reminded that they still are worthwhile, even after they’ve been sexually gratifying to the person,” Luterman says. If your experience didn’t go well, it’s important to voice that, too.

And those in long-term relationships are certainly not exempt from aftercare, Luterman says. It’s something couples should continue to do, especially after trying something new (such as anal sex), she says. Did the sex hurt? Do they want to do it again? What did they like and not like about it? You can’t know what your partner is thinking unless you ask them. Plus, it can be easy for long-term partners to feel taken for granted, so making sure to cuddle, stroke each other’s hair, and savor the moment after sex can make even the most routine sex feel special.

One thing we should all keep in mind? It can also be helpful to continue these conversations when everyone’s vertical (and clothed) and any post-orgasm high has faded.

At the end of the day, aftercare is just a fancy term for making sure everyone’s happy once the sex is over. And while communication needs to be happening before and during sex as well, having these discussions afterwards comes with an added bonus: You can learn from the experience so that the sex is even hotter the next time.

Complete Article HERE!

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Reality Check: Anal Sex

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First it was shocking, then it was having a cultural moment, now it’s practically standard in the modern bedroom repertoire—or so a quick scan of any media, from porn to HBO, will tell you. But the reality about anal is not, actually, that everyone’s doing it, says research psychoanalyst and author Paul Joannides, Psy.D., whose comprehensive book on sexuality, The Guide to Getting it On!, is used in college and medical school sex-ed courses across the US and Canada. The book is amazing not just for its straight-up factual information on practically any aspect of sex you can think of, but also for its easy, nonjudgmental, at-times humorous tone.

The CDC reports that the number of heterosexual men and women who’ve tried it vacillates between 30 and 40 percent (oddly, the CDC doesn’t report on how many homosexual men have tried it, except in a statistic that weirdly combines it with oral). If anal turns you on, you are definitely not alone, but its prevalence doesn’t change the fact that it’s the riskiest sexual behavior in terms of HIV and other STDs. Here, Joannides talks us through the realities of making anal both as safe and as pleasurable as possible.


A Q&A with Paul Joannides, Psy.D.

Q

When did heterosexual anal start to become a thing?

A

In the 80’s, I remember hearing from a friend that he had a videotape of anal porn. This seemed shocking at the time. (This was pre-Netflix: Everything was on videotape, from porn to Disney movies to highlights from the Olympics. Video rental stores were everywhere.) I’m not sure there are too many middle schoolers today who would be shocked or even surprised to watch anal sex on Pornhub or Xhamster.

Since porn became as easy to access as YouTube, porn producers have had to fight for clicks, and so porn has become more extreme. I’d say that by 2005, porn had totally blurred the distinction between a woman’s anus and vagina. This wasn’t because women were begging their lovers for anal, it’s because porn producers were afraid you’d click on someone else’s porn if they weren’t upping the ante in terms of shock value.


Q

Does the popularity of anal in porn reflect reality in both homosexual and heterosexual couples?

A

No. There are some couples who enjoy anal sex a lot, maybe 10 percent to 15 percent of all straight couples. But if you ask them how often they have anal vs. vaginal intercourse, they’ll say maybe they have anal one time for every five or ten times they have vaginal intercourse. We occasionally, as in once a year, hear from women who say they have anal as often as vaginal, but that’s unusual.

As for gay men, statistics vary widely, and studies aren’t always consistent in how they collect data—some might be looking at different levels of frequency, i.e. have you had anal once in the past year, or do you have it regularly? I’ve seen studies suggesting that 65 percent of men have anal sex, and others that suggest the figure is less than 50 percent. So, I don’t have exact figures for hetero or homosexual couples, but there is data suggesting that a good percentage of gay men would rather give and receive blowjobs than have anal sex.


Q

How should we modify the anal sex we see modeled in porn to best suit an in-real-life couple?

A

The way the rectum curves shortly after the opening tells us we need to make a lot of adjustments for anal to feel good. Also, the two sets of sphincter muscles that nature placed around the opening of the anus to help humans maintain their dignity when in crowded spaces (to keep poop from dropping out) mean there’s an automatic reflex if you push against them from the outside.

So one of the first things a woman or man needs to do if they want to be on the receiving end of anal sex is to teach their sphincter muscles to relax enough that a penis can get past their gates. This takes a lot of practice.

Also, unlike the vagina, the anus provides no lubrication. So in addition to teaching the sphincters to relax, and in addition to getting the angle right so you don’t poke the receiver in the wall of the rectum, you need to use lots of lube.

They show none of this in porn. Nor do they show communication, feedback, or trust. Couples who do not have excellent sexual communication, who don’t freely give and receive feedback about what feels good and what doesn’t, and who don’t have a high level of trust should not be having anal sex.


Q

What are the health risks of anal?

A

A woman has a 17-times-greater risk of getting HIV and AIDS from receiving anal intercourse than from having vaginal intercourse. So your partner needs to be wearing a condom and using lots of lube, unless both of you are true-blue monogamous, with no sexual diseases. Any sexually transmitted infection can be transmitted and received in the anus. Because of the amount of trauma the anus and rectum receive during anal intercourse, the likelihood of getting a sexually transmitted infection is higher than with vaginal intercourse.

Unprotected anal sex, regardless of whether it is practiced by straight or gay couples, is considered the riskiest activity for sexually transmitted diseases because of the physical design of the anus: It is narrow, it does not self-lubricate, and the skin is more fragile and likely to tear, allowing STDs such as HIV and hepatitis easy passage into the bloodstream.


Q

Are those risks all mitigated by the use of condoms and lube, or are there still issues, even beyond that?

A

The risks are substantially reduced by the use of condoms and lube as long as they are used correctly, but you won’t find too many condoms that say “safe for anal sex” because the FDA has not cleared condoms for use in anal sex. That said, research indicates that regular condoms hold up as well as thicker condoms for anal sex, so there’s nothing to be gained from getting heavy-duty condoms.

As for using the female condom for anal sex—studies report more slippage and more pain than with regular condoms.

Do not use numbing lube, and do not have anal sex while drunk or stoned. Pain is an important indicator that damage can occur if you don’t make the necessary adjustments, including stopping. If there is pain, perhaps try replacing a penis with a well lubed and gloved finger. The glove will help your finger glide more easily, and might be more pleasurable for the person on the receiving end. Also, this allows a woman to do anal play on a male partner. (When it comes to anal sex, what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander.)


Q

Are there known health consequences of anal practiced over the long-term? Can you do it too much?

A

One of the urology consultants for my book believes that unprotected anal sex can be a way for bacteria to get into the man’s prostate gland. He prefers the person with the penis that’s going into the other person’s butt use a condom.

Also, small chunks of fecal matter can lodge into the man’s urethra. So if the couple has vaginal intercourse following anal intercourse without a condom, the male partner should pee first in addition to washing his penis with soap and water.


Q

Do pre-anal enemas make a difference in terms of health safety? What about preventing accidents?

A

I know of no studies on the relationship between pre-anal enemas and health outcomes. As for its general wisdom, people seem as divided on that as on politics in Washington. So I would say, to each her own. Also, some people use a “short shot,” which is a quick enema with one of those bulb devices instead of using a bag and going the full nine yards. In any case, accidents are likely to happen at one time or another.


Q

What tests should people be getting if they practice anal?

A

There’s “should” and there’s reality. If I were on the receiving end of anal sex, I would want to be sure my partner did not have HIV before I’d even let him get close to my bum with his penis.


Q

Probably more people try anal today than in the past—are there ways to make a first experience a good one?

A

Both of you should read all you can about it first. Spend a few weeks helping the receiving partner train her/his anal sphincters to relax. Make sure you and your partner have great sexual communication, trust, and that you both want to do it, as opposed to one trying to pressure the other, or not wanting to do it but doing it because you are afraid your partner will find someone else who will. Do not do it drunk or stoned, and do not use lube that numbs your anus. If it doesn’t feel good when it’s happening, stop.


Q

Do people orgasm from anal stimulation? Is it common or uncommon?


A

Some women say they have amazing orgasms from anal, but usually they will be stimulating their clitoris at the same time.


Q

Does it usually take a few tries to enjoy anal? Are there positions that make it easiest?

A

It depends on how much you are willing to work on training the receptive partner’s anal sphincters to relax, how good your communication is, how much trust there is, and probably on the width or girth of the dude’s penis. Common sense would tell you it should go way better if a guy is normal-sized as opposed to porn-sized.


Q

What should we be telling our kids about anal?

A

We don’t tell them about the clitoris, about women’s orgasms, about masturbation, about the importance of exploring a partner’s body, and learning from each other. We don’t tell them that much of what they see in porn is unreal, and we don’t talk to them about the importance of mutual consent. So I don’t see anal being at the top of most parents’ “should talk to our kids about” lists. There are more important things we need to be talking about first.

Paul Joannides, Psy.D. is a psychoanalyst, researcher, and author of the acclaimed Guide to Getting it On!, which is now in its ninth edition and is used in college courses across the country. He’s also written for Psychology Today Magazine and authors his own sex-focused blog, Guide2Getting.com. Dr. Joannides has served on the editorial board of the Journal of Sexual Medicine and the American Journal of Sexuality Education, and was granted the Professional Standard of Excellence Award from The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. Joannides also lectures widely about sex and sexuality on college campuses.

Complete Article HERE!

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