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If it’s not one thing, it’s another…

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Name: Malcolm
Gender: Male
Age: 40
Location: Johannesburg
I’m in love with this guy who is as sweet as the day is long. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner. What makes him so charming is he’s only recently come out as gay. Before this he was married. He is not jaded like so many other guys I meet. But there’s a problem. He’s real vanilla. I guess that’s the down side of coming out of a heterosexual marriage at the age of 35. He’s happy as a clam fucking me a couple times a week. He thinks anal sex is really adventurous and sexually daring. I on the other hand, am suffocating in the boredom. I know, now I sound really jaded, but I can’t help it. It’s just that there’s so much more to sex than what we are doing. I want to introduce him to some kinky shit, but I’m afraid that I will scare him off. What the fuck should I do?

I absolutely adore messages that start out: “I’m so in love. He/she is everything I ever wanted, blah, blah, blah!” Because I know that only a few words later the other shoe is gonna drop, and drop hard. “But there’s a problem, blah, blah, blah!”

Of course there’s a problem. There is always a problem…even with Mr. or Ms. Perfect, or maybe because your honey is so freakin perfect. Take it from me, sexual dissatisfaction will upset even the most tranquil and rosy apple cart and send everyone into a tizzy. Allow me to share with you something I wrote about this very issue about ten years ago. I think you will find the advice as fresh as the day it was written.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the scum that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked till your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toe jam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear, Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread. Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink is tricky; the whole little love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go either. Why not just stand tall like the disgusting depraved creature you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to little Mary Sunshine. After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life limps. Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows, s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar don’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah’s always talkin’ about. This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with — lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, role-playing, whatever.

Decide on a safe-word, an out of context word your partner could use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play.

Good luck

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5th Anniversary Q&A Show — Podcast #320 — 02/13/12

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Hey sex fans,

Hey everybody, Happy Valentine’s Day! And guess what? This week’s show marks my fifth anniversary of podcasting. I know! Isn’t that fuckin great? I mean who would have guessed that we’d enjoy such a long run.

And what a year it has been too. I brought you fascinating interviews with remarkable people for all of my series. Play With It series, which features conversations with folks in the adult products industry. The Sex EDGE-U-cation series, which features chats with kinksters and porn stars and advocates of alternative lifestyles. The SEX WISDOM series, which brings you interviews with the movers and shakers n the field of human sexuality. And, of course, The Erotic Mind series, which is now four years old.

But today I have a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome to dazzle you with. So let’s launch ourselves into year #6 with a bang.

  • Danny has a short fuse.
  • Daniel asks about sex after a prostatectomy.
  • Janet wants to know which sex toys are right for her and her partner.
  • Terria Lee has new a heavy hung BF, but the fuck is uncomfortable.
  • Loveuniforms want to know about piss enemas.
  • Amber is experiencing painful intercourse too.
  • Ash has a thing for the people she sees in porn, but not in real life.
  • Nikky has only one ball. Will that be a problem?
  • Kristin thinks her partner might be cheating on her.
  • Robin wants to crossdress and be submissive, but will he allow himself to do that?

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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Our First Q&A Show Of The New Year— Podcast #315 — 01/09/12

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Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Holy cow, the new year is upon us and I’m all refreshed from my winter break and rarin’ to go. So it’s time to crank up the old microphone so I can bring you another Q&A show.

Say, did you know that this year marks my fifth year in podcasting? The actual anniversary isn’t for another month, but I thought I’d take this opportunity to toot my own horn, so to speak. And I foresee lots of very exciting programming coming your way in 2012.

But now I have this great show in store for you. Because it’s always a thrill to discover what my correspondents toss my way. And you can always count on me, your intrepid sexologist, to respond with clever, resourceful and oh so informative responses. Hey, it’s what I do!

This week we hear from

  • P wants to E-stim both himself and his partner at the same time.
  • Kyle wonders about tight pussies…I think.
  • Haans and his wife are blissful.
  • Chatt Mann is not sure if it’s a good thing to bust his nut in a chick’s mouth.
  • Matt is way more kinky than he’s letting on and he is letting on a lot.
  • Minou is interested in safe scrotal infusion play.
  • Joey is gettin fucked by heavy-hung black guys.
  • Christopher Ryan and I discuss the “cock factor” in straight porn.
  • Lee asks about the advisability of using E-stim with his inflatable penile implant.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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Lost and Found

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Hey sex fans,

We bring you our third and final Romance Series video from New Sensations for today’s edition of Product Review Friday.

But wait, you didn’t miss the two previous reviews we posted, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find them HERE and HERE.  And remember all our adult product reviews, going back 5 years, are archived at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Glenn & Hank, to see what’s on their mind.

Lost and Found —— $18.81

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “I have a little secret. I have a guilty pleasure. I really get off on straight porn. Well some of it anyhow.”
Hank: “He has to keep it a secret, because, if the homo police find out, they’ll take away his homo card.”
Glenn: “You joke, but you know there’s truth in what I say, Hank. Most of our queer friends would never understand my taste for straight porn.”
Hank: “Hey, I don’t know; I’d be wiling to bet that way more gay men dig straight porn then those, like you, who are willing to admit to their guilty pleasure. Nowadays the men in straight porn are way hotter than they used to be. Maybe that’s because a lot of the ‘straight’ male performers are also working as ‘gay-for-pay’ performers in gay porn. So you know for certain that is raising the hunkyness-bar all over the industry.”
Glenn: “On a recent visit to Dr Dick’s I noticed a pile of DVDs on his desk. I asked him; ‘what’s up with all the movies?’ He said, ‘I got them from New Sensations to farm out for review.’ I said, ‘I’d be up for that assignment.’ He said, ‘really? That would be way cool; you know it’s straight porn, right? Then Dr Dick added, ‘I suppose if these movies can pass the gay test, we’ll all know that they are good to go.’ And so that’s how I got Lost and Found to review. Score!”
Hank: “When Glenn is happy, I’m happy. Besides, anything that gets him boned up will eventually lead to me gettin’ a world-class blowjob or me pluggin’ his tight muscular ass. And I almost never argue with that math.”
Glenn: “Ok, I admit, I’m a sex fiend; so sue me already! Lost and Found is the story of a bachelor, David, (Xander Corvus, who is hot, hot, hot!), who wants to jettison the swinger ways and settle down. Imagine his good fortune when the gal of his dreams, Jen (Allie Haze, who is so adorable!) moves in next door with her little dog. This is a sweet romance about a man, a woman and the little dog that brought them together by nearly tearing them apart. Fuckin’ charming, huh?”
Hank: “It is very charming, but it’s sexy as hell too. I walked in on Glenn watching the DVD and thought he was watching some Hollywood romcom. I was just about to turn heal and run when this chick starts blowin’ this dude. And damn, she sure looked like she knew what she was doin’. Most of the women I see in straight porn aren’t very good cocksuckers. They look at the dick in their hand and you can see it in their face, they’d much rather be in Cleveland.”
Glenn: “Hank says that a lot of the guys in gay porn don’t know how to suck dick either. He’s right! It’s pathetic, I tell you. Cocksucking is a lost art. I also want to comment on something else Hank said. The production values of Lost and Found are first class. Everything from the box art to the movie’s audio track is topnotch. It could have easily come from one of the major Hollywood studios…except it has all this really hot girl on guy sex. And here’s the real kicker; all the dudes wear condoms in this flick. Fuckin’ A! I wish more straight porn producers did that.”
Hank: “You can also tell that this movie has its female audience in mind. I don’t mean to suggest that they soft sell the sex; they don’t. But it is respectful of women. Call me old fashioned; but I hate it when I see a woman being degraded in a porno. It’s such a turn off. No wonder most women aren’t into video smut. BTW, Xander Corvus is super fine! He has a sweet face, a nice body, a big old dick, but he shaves his pubes. I guess three out of four ain’t too shabby!”
Glenn: “Lost and Found has four really great sex scenes. All the characters are very attractive and likeable, but they’re also still believable. There’s not a porn stereotype in the bunch. The sex is vanilla, but there’s real chemistry between the performers. There’s loads and loads of kissing too. And the non-sex acting is amazingly good.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Dear Abby

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Hey sex fans,

We have another video review lined up for today’s edition of Product Review Friday.

This is the second of three vids from the folks at The Romance Series.  You didn’t miss the first of these reviews, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find it HERE.  And remember all our adult product reviews, going back 5 years, are archived at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin and Gina, to see what’s on their mind.

Dear Abby — $23.43

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Kevin and I were reminiscing about the first review we did together. It was for the WE-vibe.  That was way back in August of 2008. I was shy and clueless about most sexual things. I was your average recovering Catholic girl, back then, who couldn’t wait to discover the big bad world out there.”
Kevin: “And I’m happy to report that I was the corrupting influence in her life. Although I must say she didn’t offer much resistance. Since that fateful We-vibe review, we’ve been all over the map, so to speak. We get such a hoot out of looking back on all the reviews we’ve done since then. You can find them HERE.”
Gina: “Yeah, it’s like looking at an old yearbook. I was such an innocent back then. Well, all that has changed. Now I’m as sexually adventurous as they come.”
Kevin: “But do you remember when you discovered my stash of porn movies on one of your first over-nights at my place? Do you remember your reaction?”
Gina: “Yes, I do. I was so disillusioned. I couldn’t believe you were into that stuff. I thought you were so cool and progressive; how could you watch porn? Back then I though all porn was disgusting and exploitative of women. I had so much to learn. Now I’m able to tell good porn from bad. And that’s why I jumped at the chance to review Dear Abby.”
Kevin: “She’s right! But I didn’t share Gina’s opinion when she brought home the DVD. The packaging looks exactly like what a major Hollywood studio would produce for a mainstream romantic comedy. I thought for certain this was going to be a dud. My taste in porn is way more edgy.”
Gina: “I knew he was going to say that. I immediately saw the disappointment in his eyes when I showed him the package. However, The Romance Series has a reputation for delivering great watchable sex along with really convincing non-sex performances by the same performers. I don’t find that too often, even in the porn that I’ve come to like very much.”
Kevin: “This is a great adult movie for couples. I hesitate to use the term ‘porn’, because it may turn off some in our audience who have yet to discover that sexually explicit movies, like Dear Abby, can be enjoyed without the guilt associated with watching mainstream porn. But just so you know, this is not soft-core sex. On the contrary; the sex is full-on and totally hot and sweaty. It is, however, of the vanilla variety. And there’s no flimsy storyline just to string together a bunch of unrelated sex scenes. No, this is a real movie movie.”
Gina: “Dear Abby is the story of a young couple, who have broken up, but eventually find their way back together. Ok, so I’ll admit the premise is pretty trite, but movie is not. There are four sex scenes featuring four very attractive couples. Unlike a lot of the porn I’ve seen, these couples seem to have real chemistry together. The camerawork is first-rate and the viewer is treated to an over all view of the couples enjoying themselves, not just fucking. There are no intense close-ups that make some porn really creepy. The sex is never hurried and the female characters are believable. In fact, they are presented as multidimensional people, not mindless sex dolls for the gratification of the guys. And there’s kissing, lots and lots of kissing.”
Kevin: “Both the guys and the gals are very attractive. And the blowjobs scenes are fantastic. Did I mention I LOVE blowjobs? But wait; are all the guys in porn these days shaving their pubes? Looks like it from this feature. Not one of the male performers has a bush. WTF?”
Gina: “Yeah, I wondered about that too. I like to see a man’s bush.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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