No podcast today. It’s a holiday, don’t cha know!
Hey sex fans,
As most of you know, I’ve been reviewing adult products on this site for well over two years. These reviews grew out of the frequent requests I got from visitors for additional product information and buying assistance and advice. I am delighted to learn that my opinion, as a Clinical Sexologist, carries a good deal of weight for a perspective consumer. That, and I make ‘em laugh.
Unfortunately, this site wasn’t the optimum vehicle for these reviews. I was able to post teasers on my home page well enough, and these linked back to the Product Reviews Page. But in a matter of months, the Product Reviews Page became unwieldy. One had to do endless scrolling to find the review one was looking for. And there wasn’t a search function for the Product Reviews Page.
Since this site’s update and facelift in January, I’ve wanted to spin off the reviews to their own site. Finally, after six weeks of labor intensive effort that dream has been realized. Allow me to introduce you to Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.
You’ll immediately see how much better this stand-alone site serves our purpose.
- Now each product has it’s very own posting.
- One can search for a product by name.
- There are expanded Categories and Tags to bring things together.
- Now all the adult product links on this site refer a visitor to this new site.
Some people in my audience have come to identify with one or another of The Dr Dick Review Crew — my fellow reviewers (women, men and couples; gay, bi and straight) who are helping me with reviews; especially for gender specific products. With this new site, you can now search the site for reviews posted by your favorite Crew member. How sweet is that?
I hope you take a moment of your precious time and take a look around. Your comments and critique are always welcome.
There is one final thing. I’ve also recently launched a stand-alone podcast site too called Sex Advice With An Edge.
The Dr Dick Review Crew is all geared up to start posting new reviews again next Friday, 05/15/09.
Hey sex fans,
I’m adding a new feature to my Q&A columns. Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.
Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand. I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.
Location: Long Island, N.Y.
Almost 20 yrs. ago I had a transexual encounter. It was different but wonderful. Now I find myself wanting to explore this experience again. I’m now married with kids and I know it’s cheating but it won’t leave my thoughts. I don’t know what to think. I love being with a woman but this hunger won’t go away and I ‘m not entirely sure if I want it to. I don’t know if this means I’m gay, bi, or what. Please, please, if you’ve any advice your help and thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Hey Bob, the question of weather this craving makes you are gay, bi or what is the least of your issues, darlin’. You got this jones about chicks with dicks and it won’t go away because you don’t want it to go away. It’s a hunger that you feed by starving it. And I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you will, in pretty short order, go out and get you some of this exotic monkey love, just like before you were married. And I also predict that you will make it a habit, risks to your comfortable life and cheating on you wife not withstanding.
Here’s the thing about sexual obsessions of any stripe. The more you starve them the more the hunger consumes you. So rather than treat the desire head on, perhaps you need to address the underlying issues that give rise to it. I’d be willing to speculate that your life has become so predictable, mundane and lethargic that you long to be startled awake from this slumber. You entertain these juicy revelries as a way of keeping yourself from completely succumbing to the boredom. Am I right, Bob? I think I am.
You see, the real issue here is not your cravings for a walk on the wild side; it’s the boredom at your core. Desperate men do desperate things. And bored men do foolish things. So I suppose you need to ask yourself, to what lengths are you willing to go to satisfy this craving? And once you answer that, the more important question remains to be answered. How many times will you have to satisfy your craving to balance out the monotony in the rest of your life?
You see, how this has virtually nothing to do with your sexual orientation, gay, bi or whatever; it has to do with your lifestyle.
Perhaps, indulging your sexual fantasy in the relatively harmless form of some video consumption might assuage your obsession. It sure beats skippin’ out on your wife and family to satisfy your jones.
Location: South Africa
I have a new lover, 10 years my junior. We meet at a play party about three weeks ago. He is very adventuresome and totally submissive. He told me he wants me to shave him from head to toe and he wants me to do this while he is restrained and gagged. I’m confident about my bondage skills, but I’ve never saved anyone. Do you have any tips?
Some gals have all the luck! You gots yourself a submissive pup; good for you! Just think, this shaving scene could be a real Samson and Delilah kinda set up, and hopefully one of biblical proportions. HOT!
The overall body shave can be a bit tricky, especially for those sensitive areas of the body not used to being shaved. You can pretty much count on some nicks and cuts and there will be a fair amount of post-shave skin irritation too. It’s just par for the course. Ya’ll can minimize a lot of this by attending to some fundamentals before the event begins.
Most us men have discovered that shaving our face later in the day, or better…at night makes shaving easier. The same is true for fetish shaving. Nighttime is the best time! Work in a clean, well-lit place. The darkened dungeon is good choice for after-shave play, but you’ll need lots of light for the shave itself. You also need ready access to lots of clean hot water. So why not strap the boy to the bathroom sink, shower head, or better yet the kitchen table.
If the pup resembles the missing link, you’ll want to start the whole business by trimming his body hair as close to the skin as possible before you employ the razor. I suggest using a high quality barber shears for this.
Choose your razors carefully. Unless you are a real connoisseur and know how to wield a straight razor, stick with safety razors. Since you’re gonna be doing his whole body, be sure to stock up on a shit-load of the quality plastic disposable kind. You will find that the blades dull really fast when they are shaving course body hair. Dull razors, as everyone knows, will nick and scrape more than a sharp razor. You’ll want to minimize the number of times you pull the razor across any given patch of skin so as to minimize razor burn.
Cover the area you are about to shave with a hot, wet towel. It’ll soften the hair and makes it easier to remove. Use lots of shaving gel. Gel is better than shaving cream for sensitive skin. Always shave with the growth of the hair, not against. Be sure to have a styptic pencil or gel handy to stop bleeding when you nick the little monkey. And depending on how fastidious you are; keep a pair tweezers handy for yanking out the stray hairs you and your razor miss. This will give your sub something to remember!
No matter how careful you are, there will always be microscopic nicks and cuts afterwards. Left untreated, this can leave the skin open to a nasty infection. To prevent this, apply a liberal amount of an astringent, like which hazel. Hydrogen peroxide is and excellent and inexpensive alternative.
Ya know those nasty little red bumps that are caused by ingrown hairs? You can cut down on these little buggers by buffing the freshly shaved area with a cosmetic buff pad. Finally, a liberal application of a moisturizer is recommended to cut down on the itching that will inevitably follow. If the sub has never done this before, he will soon find out that he will be plagued by itching as his hair starts to grow in. Too bad for him, huh?
As you can see, this is gonna be a whole lot of work for you. And there’s gonna be a lot of clean up too. Lucky for you, you’ll have a freshly shaved sub to do all the work while you relax kick your feet up and eat your bonbons.
This might be helpful too — check out my review of The Ultimate Personal Shaver Kit HERE!
Here are some video suggestions to accompany my thoughts.
My husband and I are beginning to experiment with some light bondage and discipline. We’d like to know more about this and how to play safely. Unfortunately, because of his job we are stuck here in Indianapolis for another whole year. We have yet to find even one other person around here who shares our kink. So we don’t have anyone to ask about this.
Ahhh, the joys of the heartland. I’d be willing to guess there are other kinky pervs, like you guys, right there in Indian-apollis, but they don’t know how to find you anymore than you guys know how to find them. Kinda sad, huh? Well probably ya’ll are gonna need to turn to them internet tubes for the help you’re looking for. Kink and BDSM sites abound. Almost all of them have great “how to” and “helpful tips” sections geared to the budding kinkster. Several of these sites also feature profiles, chat rooms and bulletin boards for like-minded folks to connect and play.
For something really special, check out my newest podcast series — Sex EDGE-U-cation. I’m chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.
But since you are here, darlin’, I do have some preliminary thoughts to share. First, every scene should be negotiated before play begins. Never bypass this important step even if the two of you only play with one another. Ya see, what you don’t want to have happen is to break the mood mid-scene to ask a question or seek direction. All that should be taken care of before you start the play. Get use to working out all the logistics a head of time. These important negotiation sessions will also force you to communicate with each other and give you a ready vocabulary for talking with other prospective partners should the opportunity ever arise.
Negotiating a BDSM scene is not a “I’ll do this for you if you do that for me” sort of deal, like in vanilla sex. Rather it’s an honest discussion about you and your partner’s wants, needs, expectations and limits for the scene. Regardless if you are the dominant top or a submissive bottom, you must be equal partners when negotiating each scene.
If you do this sort of play a lot, the negotiations may become perfunctory. But like I said, they ought never be skipped. The nature of these negotiations is to set parameters, ascertain boundaries and establish limits — for example the intensity and duration of the scene. You may find that you need to set a time limit for your play, or discuss the type of restraints and means of discipline to be used. Debriefing (also known as Aftercare), once the scene is ended, is also a real good idea. You’ll, of course, need to establish safewords for your play. And if you don’t know what those are; you’d best stick to vanilla.
The more experience you have, the more likely you will develop a shorthand for negotiating your play. However, the less experienced you are, the more important it will be to spell out absolutely everything. Your negotiations ought to be a frank and open discussion, no holds bared as it were. Remember, you are not in the scene yet. So no one, dom or sub, has more input than the other. Speak and question one another freely.
The first question the dom needs to ask of the sub is “What are your limits?” Be specific, direct and pointed when you ask about one’s limits. The novice sub may not know his or her limits, so the dom will have to proceed with the utmost caution. This is where the safeword will most likely come into play.
The sub ought to have unqualified trust in the dom; without this the scene isn’t play, it’s abuse. Remember, there is never room for coercion in the negotiations. Save the guilt tripping, shame-inducement and intimidation for the scene itself.
Here’s some at homework for you and your husband. Check out The Surrender Of O. This is just one of the exceptionally fine enrichment videos in my How To Video Library.
When me and my wife have sex I like to cum in her ass. Is that bad for her?
If her’s is the only ass you cum in, there’s no problem.
However, if you’re dippin’ you wick in other bung-holes, or have multiple partners of any sort, exchanging bodily fluids is not recommended.
Good luck ya’ll
I have two unrelated questions: 1. I love anal sex but am concerned that as I age I run the risk of eventually becoming incontinent due to the sexual activity down there. Is this a valid concern or will my sphincter remain tight enough to hold everything in? I’ve read conflicting opinions. 2. My boyfriend likes the twinks. We’ve been together for about four years and even though I’m only a year younger (he‚s 35), part of the reason he’s attracted to me is my youthful appearance. We have a wonderful relationship — supportive and loving and the sex is great! We even have a semi-open relationship, which is working fine for us so far. However, I’m concerned that at some point he may try something with someone under 18. He enjoys visiting those Barely Legal type porn sites (which hold no interest for me and look illegal). I’ve discussed my concerns with him, and he says I have nothing to worry about because he’d never do anything. But on the other hand, he’s not the most disciplined person in the world. I’m worried that if the opportunity presented itself he wouldn’t be able to resist. If that happened, it would then present emotional and moral problems not to mention legal issues not just for him but (I’m assuming) for me as well. I guess
I’m not sure what my question is. I know the gay community (and really the world) is obsessed with youth, but does this sound like more than that? Do I have a legitimate concern, or am I being a prude? Obviously you don’t know my boyfriend, but I can’t discern if he just enjoys the fantasy of a younger man/boy or if this could become a problem. If it’s just a fantasy then I have no problem letting him have his fun. Heck, he can fuck all the 20 year olds he wants as far as I’m concerned. (Maybe this stems from my insecurity of growing older even though he insists he will love me even when I’m old and grey). But, if this is more than a fantasy then what do I do?
Thanks, Dr. Dick! Your faithful reader
Let’s address your two concerns in turn. First, regarding your ass sex question. Your typical butt-pirate has nothing to worry about in terms of becoming incontinent. However, you oughta do what every power bottom does to stay in tip-top shape down there — Kegel exercises.
Don’t know kegel exercises from a hole in your head? Not to worry. I’ve written and spoken so much about this timely topic, whicht applies to both men and women, I barely have the energy to repeat myself. So I won’t!
All ya gotta do is use the SEARCH function in the sidebar to your right. Simply type in the keyword “kegels” and PRESTO! Just like magic, all my posting and podcasts that include that topic are displayed. You can read and listen till your heart’s content.
To your other concern, the one about your BF’s interest in the barely-legal crowd; there’s not much you can do about this one way or another. Most of the adult people I know who have a thing for the young ones keep it on a purely fantasy level. Those who stray off the daydream path and onto a course of actual pursuit find themselves in all kinds of jeopardy. Not lest of which is the ridiculous nature of the quest. Sounds to me like your BF already knows all of this. But if he doesn’t, it’ll be he who pays, not you.
My advice to you is; take him at his word and worry not.
Location: sutton in ashfield
I have large veins that stick out on my testicles are these anything to worry about
Some guys have smooth balls; some guys have hairy balls; some guys have veiny balls and some guy’s balls are all shriveled up. That’s all there is to it.
As we age some of us develop varicose veins in our lower extremities. It’s the force of gravity, don’t cha know. Varicose veins can occur in our nut sack too. Sometimes this is associated with wearing a too tight cockring for too long a time. But it is just as likely to be an issue of genetics. Not much you can do about it and there is no real danger.
If you aren’t experiencing any discomfort in your family jewels, things are probably ok and I wouldn’t worry. However, if you are anxious about this, or there is soreness or tenderness or you have other concerns; take your huevos to an MD and have ‘em checked out. Simple as all that!
Location: Southeast US
I am intrigued by nipple suction pumps, but cannot find much information about their effectiveness on guys. How long do your nipples stay enlarged? Is there any risk or danger in using one of these contraptions? Thanks for any help/direction you can give!
Nipple play is fun for both women and men. There are several ways of enlarging one’s nipples. There are low-tech suction devices, metal stretchers and the more high-tech vacuum devices. All of these systems are very popular. Have a look in My Stockroom for some examples. Just search the site using the key word “nipple”.
Wireless Vibrating Nipple Clamps (D120) $32.00
Tit Tuggers (C656) $125.00
The Titilizer (A237) $16.50
10-Piece Cupping Set (B264) $57.00
Snake Bite Kit (A300) $8.00
Nipple Suction Device (B092) $18.00
If you are a casual tit-torturer your nipples will stay enlarged for a few hours. If you are a hardcore tit-torturer you can completely and permanently alter the look of your nipples. Is there a risk or is there danger? Not unless you overdo it.
Location: Hoboken, NJ
I got this cute guy friend who’s asked if he can come on my vacation to Bangor, Maine (Stephen King’s home!). So I asked this guy, who’s single, if he wants one bed or two. He said it didn’t matter, so I booked one bed at the hotel. Does this mean he wants to have sex with me? I’m dumping down a ton of money, so I hope so!
How the hell should I know? He could be hot to get in your pants, or he might simply need an all expense paid holiday.
Why not just ask him. What’s with the coy routine? Of course, you could do like the hippies used to do and tell your cute guy friend — “Ass, gas or grass! No one rides for free.”
Hi, I have a question that I can not ask anyone else so I found your web site and would really appreciate your advice. Ok, so when I have sex sometimes instead of cuming when I have an orgasm, I pee. Sometimes I do cum though. But when it feels really good and I release, I release pee instead of cum. I just want to know if this happens to other people, and why this happens. And can I fix this. What can I do to make this not happen? I don’t like it happening. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has to have pee on his penis. Please, please, please take the time to reply to me. Thank you for your time. Have a great day.
Are you sure that what you are experiencing is pee? Could it possibly be that you are ejaculating? For a good deal of information on this, check out the site called The Clitoris.
Of course, lots of women feel like they have to pee when they cum. In fact, lots of women actually do pee as they cum.
If indeed you are peeing when you cum, I’d say you are experiencing what we in the business call — stress incontinence.
Stress incontinence can happen just about any time. Anxiety, stress, working out, jogging, fucking can all trigger this type of incontinence.
Curiously enough, research shows that younger women actually have more stress incontinence during sex than do older women. While only 3% of women over age 65 reported incontinence during sexual activity, 29% of women under age 60 did.
Regardless of the cause of the stress incontinence — nervousness, exercise or sex there is one common denominator. It’s always related to the strength of a woman’s pelvic floor muscles. The weaker those muscles are, the more likely a woman will leak pee during physical exercise, fucking, sneezing or even laughing.
While many women experience stress incontinence from time to time, there’s a relatively simple solution to the problem. Your pelvic muscles and the tissues surrounding them get stretched out and damaged with time. Pregnancies will also do a number on these muscles. They also weaken with age. And if you are overweight, well that will weaken pelvic floor muscles too as well as add to the likelihood of stress incontinence.
So you might be asking right about now, what IS this simple solution? Why, it’s Kegel exercises, of course. (See my response to the first correspondent above.)
Good luck ya’ll
Look for my new
Hey sex fans!
On several occasions I’ve called my audience’s attention to the fantastic video work my friend and colleague, Dr Michael Perry, is been doing over at AIM (Access Instructional Media). And for good reason too, because Michael is a master of the sexual enrichment genre. (See REVIEW #7 below.)
As an aside, Michael was my guest for a couple of podcasts chats — #61 and #62. During our conversation, Michael discusses his work and the astounding success he is having with his video line. Be sure to check out these podcasts.
Just for the record, Michael’s DVDs knock me out. In terms of sex education and sexual enrichment the AIM titles are unparalleled.
Let’s take a look at each of these DVDs each in turn.
We start with My Three Way — Approx 120 minutes $19.95
The promotional copy on the DVD box reads: “How is it possible for couples to bring a third person into their intimate relationship? Many have thought about it. Lots of people fantasize about it. Some couples are actually practitioners in Open Relationship lifestyles.
• Find out why couples do it.
• See what they dare to do…to supercharge their relationship!
• Be tempted to arrange your own three way…at least in your fantasies!
First off, we meet couple #1 in a cocktail lounge gettin all lovey-dovey. Another woman, an acquaintance of the male partner winds up getting involved. (Surprise!) Before things get all hot and heavy though there is a brief spliced-in interview with the couple about why and how they do what they do. Curiously enough, this is not a distraction from the action, but it actually adds to the story telling. What follows is a beautiful 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way. The sexual interaction in this piece is nicely shared between all the players, including gal-on-gal play.
There’s another interview snippet followed by a sweet gal-on-gal segment.
This is followed by yet another brief interview segment and a very sexy 2-guy and 1-gal 3-way. All the sexual interaction in this piece is focused on the woman; the men do not interact sexually. This may appeal to some, but it will be disappointing to others.
There is a bonus featurette on this DVD called My Birthday Surprise, which is another fine example of a 2-gal and 1-guy 3-way.
There is ample and diverse sexual expression in all the scenes. And there is some nice use of sex toys too, which really adds to the production.
This is a wonderful primer on the ins and outs (no pun intended) of initiating and successfully executing a 3-way. Like the promotional copy on the box suggests, if you are actually looking to open your relationship to include a 3rd or just think the 3-way idea is hot fantasy material, this is the DVD for you.
Remember, this is not porn. While the content is sexually explicit, the material is presented in a tasteful and romantic manner. Kudos to Michael Perry for producing this delightful and informative female oriented video.
Next we have — Amazing Sex For Women — 90 minutes $19.95
The promotional copy on the DVD box reads: “The Bonk’er Spring is a truly revolutionary sex toy invented with the women’s pleasure in mind. This video shows you sex techniques not possible with any other sex gear. See our fun loving couples bounce weightlessly towards powerful orgasm after orgasm!”
What we have here is basically an infomercial for a rather amazing sex innovation from Bonkum, a
company that develops sex furniture. It’s part spring, part swing and part sling. Try to say that three times fast!
With the help of a few adventuresome couples (and a 2-gal, one guy threesome) this video shows how easy and enjoyable it is to have a very athletic and versatile sex life. The Bonkum swing is really interesting and amazingly adaptable. Makes creative sex play not only enjoyable, but also effortless.
This video is full of wonderful eye candy of the heterosexual variety. Too bad there’s not any man on man action to please the rest of us. (Perhaps that will happen in another video.) But there is a very nice light BDSM scene that will get your motor racing.
Again, I want to emphasize something about all the AIM titles. Each is very sexy and sensual; most are sexually explicit; but none of them can rightly be called porn. This is an important distinction, because the tone and focus of the AIM titles is completely different from the tone and focus of porn. And even people who are put off by the notion of porn will have no objection to these videos.
…all my reviews here
Look for REVIEW #32