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OH THE HUMANITY!

Once again my inbox is filled with quires from all over the globe.

Name: MARK
Gender:
Age: 44
Location: ca
im experiencing ED for 2 years. According to eastern medicine, which i believe in, it’s the result of low kidney chi…are you familiar with mantak chia? can you share any feedback you’ve heard regarding his taoist sex practices?

Alas, I do not know the man or his take on Erectile Dysfunction. If you find out more, do let me know. I’m very interested in cross-cultural philosophies about sex.

Name: Tommy
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: bay area
If your wit this guy for some time. How do you make him be more interested in you. I been sleeping with this person for some time and I feel we have gotten closer> I just want to know I do I reel him in. thanks tommy

vintage311.jpgI am of the mind that humans are not much like fish. They can’t be reeled in. But they can be REASONED in.

Listen, my friend, if you feel like your relationship with this guy has matured to the point where you’d like to take it to the next level, whatever that may be. Why not just come out and tell the bloke how you feel. Ask him to be honest with you about his feelings too. You may be pleasantly surprised to learn that he shares your desire to be more than fuck buddies. If not, at least you’ll know where you stand.

Name: canine
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: philippines
i have a 4 inch dick, 4 inches circumference, would it be enough to satisfy a women. i have tried so many penile enlarging pill, it doesnt work, tried pump, doesnt work either, i am looking at fat transplant is it safe?, would it really lengthen and provide more girth? a 5×5 would be enough for me. help!

manchains.jpgFour inches is plenty to pleasure most women. Most women don’t give a shit about dick size. But ya know what? Even if they were, you are more than your dick size. Presumably you also have functional fingers and a tongue, not to mention an ability to charm a woman. These are the things that will get you laid, my friend, not your 4 or 5 inches.

So you’ve tried enlarging pills and pumps and they don’t work. You don’t say! I keep telling guys to not waste their money. But it looks like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. Now, instead of just useless pills and bogus pumps you want to have some one inject your dick with your own body fat. Is another inch really worth the effort, expense, and risk involved with this procedure if it were to go bad? And mark my words; it will go bad. I have yet to see even one fat injected cock that looks normal. They all look deformed, like they have cottage cheese under the skin. In most cases the body rejects a large portion of the fat injection. The procedure often needs to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

Stop right now. Spend your money on something that will make you more attractive and interesting to the ladies. Take a class in sensual massage, or study tantrac sex techniques. Just leave your dick alone!

Name: jason
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Connecticut
if I like anal sex but not all the time does this make me gay even though I like to be with women too?

5484782_400.jpgTakin’ it up the ass don’t make you gay, even if you’re being plugged by another dude. It may suggest that you are technically bisexual, since you say you also like to be with women. But hell, even a lot of straight guys get pegged by their girlfriends or wives.

So what’s the lesson in all of this? All these labels are useless unless you yourself choose to identify yourself with one or another of them. And for lots of people, sexual identities are fluid things. Be honest with yourself and let your public identity flow from that.

Name: catherine joanne
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: canada, alberta
I am in a very loving, uderstanding, compasionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is, in every way he stimulates my emotional side, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners i have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships has always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, or is this how the “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he just is not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I do not desire to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabatouge this relationship. sincerely: Catherine

If this guy is satisfying you as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced and progressive than he is. That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll never become a wild fuck. But then again, you wouldn’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners. But you already know that, huh?

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck as it is to make a domestic fuck wild!

Name: jamie
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Georrgia
lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM

What’s goin on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Hey, maybe he started out with a skin irritation of some sort or another, and pluggin’ you only made it worse. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Name: rupalini
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: india
i am unable to have an orgasm.. how ever i try.. its emotionally straining on me.. could be pls tell me techniques to relax and enjoy..?

Let’s begin by dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic women.”

Orgasms don’t always come easily to some women, and that’s a fact. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are preorgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging hardon. Women are socialized about sexuality especially where you live — even nowadays — in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than women do.

Case in point. When I was just beginning my sex therapy practice I had a young engaged couple, Joel and Amy, visit me with the very issue you raise. As I would soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic-wand of a dick. (Oh, lord, how us mens love to brag!)

But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life, the young woman sitting next to him, was immune to his sexual prowess. He had to get to the bottom of this…so to speak. So he decided to haul the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy squirmed with discomfort during this little introduction. I thought she would absolutely die as Joel detailed the intimacies of their lovemaking. He was being very explicit. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while numb-nuts Joel was sitting right there, so I told him to go take a hike while Amy and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered. “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 5 or 6 years old. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands…like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware. My mother explained that my hair, face and hands would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body…just like we would then wash the rest of the dishes. Finally, at the end of the bath, I could wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in that same manner to that very day. This was so startling to her that she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty her mother took her aside for the “BIG TALK.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that brought with it, added to the pot and pan imagery really threw poor Amy for a loop. Her mother said…referring to her genitals, “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.” WHAT? “This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK, why?”

brazilian-bedlock.jpgPoor Amy! She was a tangle of confusion and mixed messages. No wonder she was preorgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with a “Oh, please don’t. I’m not ready for that.”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We began her home-play exercises with journal work and a self-sexological exam. I instructed her to get a hand mirror and a diagram of female genitalia. She was to get to work familiarizing herself and making friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a detailed touch test. Every square inch from her asshole to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of cunt and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity — red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas to blue being the more neutral areas and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand. I suggested a nice personal lubricant for her wet hand exploration. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do, don’t cha know. And this was to be private time. Joel was not to invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure for that to happen, just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel to her little pussy get-acquainted party, he could only attend as a guest, not a participant. I encouraged her to give Joel the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings and once the tour and art show was over that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing just the tour and art show.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time. But he had to be patient.

When next we were together Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from just looking at the pictures she drew that she found her clit. Amy was pleased as all get out with her newfound pussy friend. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s home-play would include a vibrator. Amy was to shop for the one she wanted and take it home to introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she created of her genitals, she was to kick-start that vibrator, throw it into first gear and start making small lazy circles around the blue areas, and work her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wasn’t gonna take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless. “Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god, I saw stars, the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room thinking I had somehow hurt myself. He stood there in stunned silence as he watched me throw myself another screaming meme.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screamin’ memes.

And so that’s how Amy went from being preorgasmic to being a totally “I know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm” in a matter of a couple of weeks. YEAH!

big-13.jpgNow let’s review for you Rupalini. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm it’s all about reconnecting with your cunt.

The more you know about this marvelous part of you the better you’re gonna be at slammin yourself a screamin’ meme when the time comes. Knowing your way around your pussy is also gonna be helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partners are men. Like I said earlier, one of the reasons you’re preorgasmic may be you’ve had uninformed lovers.

You see most men’s interest in pussy extends to the end of his dick. And it completely expires once he’s shot his wad. So don’t mistake a man’s pawing at you to get in your pants as authentic interest in you and/or your pussy. Mostly a man is interested in getting’ some relief for his johnson. And that’s about as far as our interest goes. So, if you find a partner that doesn’t know shit from shinola about your love cave, you’ll better have the confidence to give him a tutorial before the fucking commences.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried it before without success, that’s ok. This time you’ll be better informed about all the hot spots of your coozie that you learned in step one. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddlin’ yourself spread the sexual energy all over your body — tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever.

Vary your technique: stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

022107.jpgMany women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator, just like old Amy. I encourage you to be adventuresome and experiment with one too. Try a dildo or another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Finally, Rupalini, may I turn you on to a fantastic webstie, www.Clitical.com. This is a one-stop shop for all things relating to female sexuality.

Good luck ya’ll

The Erotic Mind of Logan Kowalsky — Podcast #350 — 10/15/12


Hey sex fans,

Holy cow! We haven’t had an edition of The Erotic Mind series since early August. That simply won’t do! I don’t know about you, but really need to get into the head of another erotic artist, because finding out what makes these marvelous characters tick is sheer pleasure.

So just when I though I would have to do without a little longer I miraculously discovered an amazing talent who is at the top of his game. And now we are about to meet this genius together. But first we must travel to the outskirts of Paris, France, where I know the one and only Logan Kowalsky is expecting us.

Logan is an artist, illustrator, craftsman and comic book maker par excellence. He has a charming sense of humor and his deep French accent will make you weak in the knees.

Logan and I discuss:

  • Being a total sex maniac;
  • His work reflects the influences of many who have gone before him;
  • Mastery comes only through very hard work;
  • How he’s improved on his earlier style;
  • The importance of storytelling in his comic books;
  • His use of color;
  • His signature style of larger than life characters;
  • How he became Logan Kowalsky;
  • Why he calls himself a craftsman;
  • Thinking in pictures and words;
  • Anatomy and perspective in comic book art.

For more of Logan, be sure to visit his site HERE! Buy his comic books HERE! Look for him on Facebook HERE! And be sure to follow him on Twitter HERE!

Click on the thumbnail images below to see a slideshow of some of Logan’s work.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Perfect Fit Brand!

And they’re off…

Name: Dan and Rebecca
Gender: Couple
Age: 25, 20
Location:
We are a happy but frustrated couple looking for advice. I’m a 25
year old male, and my lovely girlfriend is 20.

I have no problem bringing her to orgasm and pleasing her, but since we’ve been seeing each other I have not been able to cum once. In the past it was always difficult for me to cum during sex, my first time (age 18) my then gf and I went for about three hours before we just gave up. Usually I would have to jerk myself off afterwards but now I can’t even do that.

However if I am alone with porn I am easily able to masturbate and can get off a few times a day. How is it that I can jerk off to pictures that mean nothing to me, but can’t cum for the woman I love the most?

I’ve spoken with a doctor and he said medically there is nothing wrong with my penis. What do you suggest we do? We are really getting frustrated and just want to be able to please each other.

Simply put, there’s a difference between the psycho-sexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Your doctor is right, there’s probably nothing wrong with your unit. It’s all in your head…or your mind, to be more exact. And I’m not being flippant.

If I had to guess, I’d say you have a real bad case of performance anxiety, pup. Here’s how this nasty thing works. Say I have a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before I know it, I’m replaying the incident over and over in my mind’s eye till that’s all I can think about. The proverbial molehill has become a mountain, don’t ‘cha know. I then bring my anxiety to my next encounter. My hyper self-consciousness primes me for more disappointment. And I’m all prepared to interpret the disappointment as a failure. Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? My fears become self-fulfilling and I find I’m beginning to avoid partnered sex and my relationship flounders, I develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction and my self-esteem takes a nosedive. My preoccupation with my problem makes it less likely that I’ll be fully present during sex with my partner, which pretty much scuttles my sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.

It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on your sexual arousal and short-circuiting your sexual response cycle, Dan. Get thee to a sex-positive therapist ASAP, darling! Believe me, this is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at your tender age.

When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psycho-sexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Name: Gene
Gender:  Male
Age: 45
Location: Orlando
I am a homosexual, and I have a “friend” who has been incarcerated for five years. The relationship while he was out with me was excellent. I have asked him numerous of times is he having sex with the homo’s in jail and he responds by saying no. I think otherwise, and he wants to come back to me upon his release. My question is “should I wait for him”?

Gene, Gene, Gene, there are so many things wrong with this picture, I hardly know where to start. Your man’s in the big house for 5 years, and you expect him to keep it in his pants for the duration…just for you? Like WHY? Hey, he’s in the clink, darling, not in a monastery. Oh wait; even monks in a monastery don’t keep it in their habit nowadays! At any rate, it may not be up to him if he has sex or not…if you catch my drift. He might be someone’s bitch right now, he’s just not telling you about it.

Should you wait for him? You mean, all alone by yourself with no one to comfort you while your guy is doin’ his time? This sounds like the script for a real bad 1950’s prison movie. You could play the role of the long-suffering girlfriend pining away while her good-for-nothing man pays his debt to society.

Honey, you need to get out more.

Good luck

Name: Erin
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: AL
Is it wrong for a married woman to want to masturbate when alone?

Gee, let me see. Is it wrong for a woman to feed herself when she is alone?

Erin, what could possibly be wrong with wanting to pleasure yourself when you are alone? As we all know, many women only get off through masturbation. Hell nowadays, liberated women folk everywhere are comfortable enough with their sexuality to jill-off even with their partner. So no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with self-pleasuring…alone or with a partner.

Besides, there’s no better way to get to know your body and your sexual response cycle. Once you acquainted yourself with how your body works, you’ll have a whole lot more information about how you tic that you’ll be able to share with your partner when the time comes. It’s a win/win situation for ya’ll.

Name: Joy
Gender:  female
Age: 21
Location: California
I have been dating this guy for almost 3 year and also live with him. I love the way he makes love to me and i love dick, but sometimes i just want to make out with girls… does this make me a lesbian at all?

Hardly, not even a little bit lesbian! Ya see, it takes more than suckin’ face with another chick to make a gal a lesbiterian. You’re gonna need to get yourself a she-mullet, some plaid shirts and a vibrator that you can kick-start. Now that’ll make ya dyke for damn sure. Sheesh!

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

The Self-Sexological Exam

No podcast today; instead there’s this…

The Ballad of Sylvie

Hi, my name is Sylvie. I’m 24 and I’ve been sexually active for three year, but I’ve never had an orgasm…at least not that I know of. I hear my friends talk about their orgasms and I know I should talk to them, but I don’t want them to know. Do you think there’s something wrong with me?

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard this complaint over the years, I’d be a wealthy man. Even in this day and age where sexual messages permeate the popular culture, there are still some women who are unversed about orgasms and their own bodies.

However, I almost never hear this from men. Sure, our sexual response cycle is more obvious. When we’re at attention, we’re at attention. I often wonder what the world would be like if men had as hard a time getting off as some women do.…

But let’s begin with dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic.” The idea is that you’re going to be orgasmic one day—you’ve just not accomplished it yet.

And I’m gonna assume a couple of things, even though I think it’s really dangerous to make assumptions in this line of work: 1. You’ve never had an orgasm, because you’d sure as hell know it if ya had. 2. You are sexually active with male partners.

I’m going out on this limb because I absolutely never hear from pre-orgasmic lesbians. And it stands to reason—lesbians tend to be more attuned to their bodies, and they certainly know their way around the bodies of their partners. But I digress.

Orgasms don’t come easily for some women. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are pre-orgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging boner. Women are socialized about sexuality—even nowadays—in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than do women. And, truth be told, men have never needed any permission to get themselves off!

The Ballad of Amy

Case in point: When I was just beginning my practice, a young couple, Joel and Amy, visited me with this very issue. As I’d soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic wand. But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life was immune to his sexual prowess—so he hauled the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy, for her part, squirmed with discomfort. I thought she’d absolutely die as Joel detailed the explicit intimacies of their lovemaking. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while Joel was there, so I told him to take a hike while she and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered: “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 3 or 4. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands—like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware—because they would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body. Finally, at the end of the bath, I should wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in the same manner to that very day. And she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty, her mother took her aside for “The Big Talk.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that came with it added to the “pot and pan” imagery. As to her genitals, her mother said: “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.”

“This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK! Why?”

Poor Amy! She was a tangle of mixed messages. No wonder she was pre-orgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with, “Oh, please don’t!”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We started her with journaling and a self-sexological exam. I instructed Amy to get a hand mirror and a detailed diagram of female genitalia. She was to familiarize herself and make friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a touch-test. Every square inch from her anus to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of herself and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity: red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas; blue being more neutral, and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise first with a dry hand, then a wet hand using a personal lubricant. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do.

And this was to be private time. Joel was not to be invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure; just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel, he could only attend as a guest, NOT a participant. Joel was only to receive the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings, and once the show was over, that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing—this was only to be an exhibition.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work—not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time—but he had to be patient.

When next we were together, Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from pictures she’d drawn and colored that she’d found her clit. Amy was extremely pleased with her “newfound” pussy. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s play would include a vibrator. Amy was to buy the one she wanted, take it home and introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she’d created, she was to throw it into first gear and start making small, lazy circles around the blue areas, working her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wouldn’t take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless.

“Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “I saw stars—the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room. He thought I’d somehow hurt myself. He stood there stunned as I threw myself another screaming me-me.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screaming me-me’s.

And that’s how Amy went from pre-orgasmic to I totally know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm in a matter of a couple of weeks.

The Ballad of Becoming Presently Orgasmic

Now let’s review for you, Sylvie. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm—it’s all about reconnecting with your body.

The more you know about yourself, the better you’re gonna be at slamming yourself a “screamin’ me-me”. Knowing your way around your pussy is also helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partner doesn’t know shit from Shinola about your pussy.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried before without success. This time, thanks to step one, you’ll better know your hot spots. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddling, be sure to spread the sexual energy all over your body—tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever you like—stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

Like Amy, many women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator. I encourage you to experiment with one—or try another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Good luck!

A Whole Lot Of Wonderful!

Hey sex fans,

One of the real treasures of the Pacific Northwest is the marvelous Center for Sex Positive Culture right here in the Emerald City. The Center and its parent foundation offer events like workshops and discussion groups that are open to anyone 18+. You don’t need to be a member of the Center to attend. And many events are free! Visit them on their website HERE!

So ya know how they say that good things come in threes? Well this is particularly true this month. And I am proud to bring you a little taste of what’s in store for you and me at The Center. Check out this outstanding lineup of upcoming events.

The Feminine Fountain: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

This coming Friday, October 22, 2010
8:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Annex
$35 (members receive $10 voucher for the WERK lounge that night)

Join female ejaculation expert and author, Deborah Sundahl, for this amazing workshop. She is a female ejaculation pioneer. Her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, and her video line titled: The Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series, draw on her 22 years experience, research, and instruction on this important topic of female sexuality. Come benefit from her wisdom.

Learn about female ejaculation’s ancient history, current scientific studies, where the G-spot is located, how to have a G-spot orgasm, and how to get this wonderful feminine fountain flowing! Open to both men and women, Deborah’s Power Point lecture with pictures, movie clips and Q&A will tell you all you need to know about female ejaculation and the G-spot.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

An Intimate Evening with Author Christopher Ryan

Sunday, October 24
6:00 PM to 8:00 PM
Main Space
$10-25 sliding scale (no one will be turned away)

Co-author of Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan, will make a special appearance at The Center to talk about sex and nonmonogamy, and sex and hunters and gathers, and sex and penises, and sex and orgasms, and well sex, sex and more sex. Sex at Dawn is the book everyone is talking about; it’s the book that is turning sexual scholarship on its head.

I’ll be there, so look for me and say hi.

Be sure to bring your copy of Sex at Dawn for Christopher to sign. Don’t have a copy yet? Not to worry; The Center will have books for sale.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

Kinky Carnival Returns

October 29, 2010
7pm until midnight
$25 advance/$30 door/$100 Gold VIP

Ya wanna start your Halloween weekend off with a bang? I thought so! Well I have just the thing for you. The sixth annual Kinky Carnival is heading your way.

Imagine an event where you can sample a load of delightfully edgy sex stuff. The Kinky Carnival is designed for those who are new to sex-positivity and BDSM. It offers a way for you to realize your fantasies at an easy pace and in a safe space. The Carnival will feature the “Ask” booth, where attendees are invited to ask questions about the activities they see. Other booths include “Zap”, “Pierce”, “Submit”, “Sensation”, “Flog”, “Rub”, “Mmm”, and “Ground”.

If you’re a budding pervert, or you’d like to be, or know someone who is, this evening is made for you. Costumes are welcomed, but not required.

For more information on this event, click HERE! For tickets, click HERE!

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