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7 condom myths everyone needs to stop believing, according to a doctor

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It’s time we got real about condoms.

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When it comes to condoms, chances are pretty good that you think you know everything there is know on the matter. Like, you’ve been learning about safe sex since eighth grade health class. You’re good.

But where, exactly, does most of your current-day condom knowledge stem from? If it’s sourced from a mix of things your friends have told you, plus whatever memory of eighth grade health class you have stored deep within your temporal lobe, it may not all be entirely accurate. In fact, there are more than a few common condom myths floating around — some of which you may believe as fact.

INSIDER spoke with Dr. Logan Levkoff, a nationally recognized health and sexuality expert who works with Trojan brand condoms, to get down to the bottom of of what you should (and shouldn’t) believe about condoms.

Myth: Condoms haven’t evolved over the past few decades.

Condoms being tested.

Think that condoms haven’t really changed from the time that your parents (and even your grandparents) might have been using them? According to Dr. Levkoff, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“One of [the biggest myths] is when people say that condoms haven’t changed over time, that the condoms that are out today are the same as they were thirty or forty years ago. And it’s just not true,” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

“There are have been a ton of innovations about condoms, condom shape, the use of lube, the thinness of latex, the ribbing. They’re so much better now!”

Myth: Condoms aren’t that effective.

Most of us have heard the same statistics — condoms, when used perfectly, are 98% effective. But “typical” condom use (aka the way most people use them) is 85% effective. Because of this, you may feel as though condoms aren’t so important.

“What we don’t typically tell people is that this “typical” number, that includes people who don”t use condoms all the time. So, is there a surprise that the number is lower if people don’t use them at all?” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

“I think myths occur because we aren’t really clear on the numbers we’re giving and talking about.”

So, if you feel like you can skip a condom because it won’t make that much of a difference whether you use one or not, think again. If you use one, you’ll be in a much better position than you would be if you’d skipped one.

Myth: Sex with condoms isn’t as enjoyable as sex without condoms.

Condom sex = bad sex. Or, at least, this is a commonly-accepted narrative that you’ve probably heard two or three (or 10) times.

As it turns out, this isn’t true at all.

“Because we have these preconceived notions of what condoms are — thick latex, big smell — we perpetuate the message that condoms don’t feel good or condoms aren’t fun. And the reality is that condoms have lower latex odor today and they feel great,” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

Dr. Levkoff also noted that a study done at Indiana University found that people rate sex with condoms equally as pleasurable as sex without condoms.

“And that’s really important, because condoms give us the ability to be fully engaged in the act of sex, to not worry and think about the ‘what ifs.'” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

Myth: You can stop using condoms once you’re exclusive.

There’s something called a “condom window.”

Thinking about dropping condoms now that you and your partner have been dating for a few months? You might want to think again.

“In this business, we call this the ‘condom window,'” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER. “We know that once someone is sexually active with a partner for a while all of the sudden, they’re like ‘Well, we don’t have to use these anymore.'”

“The reality is, we probably get rid of the condoms earlier than we should. There’s no question, in heterosexual relationship, that dual protection — condoms, plus [another form of birth control] — are really the best way to prevent STIs as well as unintended pregnancy. I would love to say that we live in a world in which we’re all super honest about what we do and who we do it with and what our sexual health status is, but we’re not always. So, until we get to a point where we can be, then it’s always worth having condoms, too.”

Myth: Young people are the only ones at risk for condom misuse and mistakes.

It can be easy to assume that, once you age out of the risk of becoming a teen pregnancy statistic, the rest of your sex life will be safe and surprise free. But if it’s important to be vigilant about safe sex, no matter how old you are — and, according to Dr. Levkoff, many people start to slip up as they get older.

“We are seeing numbers of sexual health issues arise, not just in younger populations, but certainly in aging populations too, who maybe are out dating again and are sexually active and aren’t as concerned about unintended pregnancy,” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

“They might not have grown up in a time of HIV/AIDs and don’t think to worry,” she continued. “That’s also the group where, for the most part, if they saw condoms, they saw the condoms from the sixties, not the condoms from today. So there’s definitely some work to be done there.”

Myth: Condoms stored in wallets aren’t effective.

We’ve all seen that classic Reddit photo of the wallet that developed a permanent ring due to the fact that its owner stored a condom in there for the duration of his college years. And that probably means that you shouldn’t keep condoms in wallets at all, right?

Well, not exactly. Storing condoms in wallets certainly isn’t the best idea — ideally, condoms should be kept in a dark, cool, friction-free environment— but as long as you don’t keep a condom in a wallet for years and years, you should be fine.

“Condoms are medical devices. They’re regulated, so they have to be held to certain standards. But keeping it in your wallet for a little on the chance that you might have a great night, it’s not a big deal,” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

What’s more important is to pay attention to the expiration date on the condom wrapper. “Condoms have expiration dates for a reason, because there is a window that they are most effective,” Dr. Levkoff said.

Myth: Condoms should only be the guy’s responsibility.

Do not rely on anyone for birth control.

If you are a person with a vagina who has sex with people with penises, you may feel that it is the penis-haver’s responsibility to provide the condoms.

Not so, said Dr. Levkoff. “I think there’s nothing more empowering than knowing you can carry a product that takes care of your sexual health. But there’s this idea that, because someone with a penis wears a condom, [they have to be in charge].”

According to Dr. Levkoff, it’s better to think about condoms as though both parties will be wearing them — because, technically, they are.

“If it’s going into someone else’s body, they’re wearing it too. It doesn’t have to be rolled onto you in order for it to be considered use,” Dr. Levkoff told INSIDER.

Complete Article HERE!

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The Sex Toy Shops That Switched On a Feminist Revolution

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The “White Cross Electric Vibrator Girl” as pictured in a 1911 Health and Beauty catalog.

BUZZ
The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy
By Hallie Lieberman
Illustrated. 359 pp. Pegasus Books. $26.95.

VIBRATOR NATION
How Feminist Sex-Toy Stores Changed the Business of Pleasure
By Lynn Comella
278 pp. Duke University Press. $25.95.

Think back, for a moment, to the year 1968. Martin Luther King Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated. The Beatles released the “White Album.” North Vietnam launched the Tet offensive. And American women discovered the clitoris. O.K., that last one may be a bit of an overreach, but 1968 was when “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm,” a short essay by Anne Koedt, went that era’s version of viral. Jumping off of the Masters and Johnson bombshell that women who didn’t climax during intercourse could have multiple orgasms with a vibrator, Koedt called for replacing Freud’s fantasy of “mature” orgasm with women’s lived truth: It was all about the clitoris. That assertion single-handedly, as it were, made female self-love a political act, and claimed orgasm as a serious step to women’s overall emancipation. It also threatened many men, who feared obsolescence, or at the very least, loss of primacy. Norman Mailer, that famed phallocentrist, raged in his book “The Prisoner of Sex” against the emasculating “plenitude of orgasms” created by “that laboratory dildo, that vibrator!” (yet another reason, beyond the whole stabbing incident, to pity the man’s poor wives).

To be fair, Mailer & Co. had cause to quake. The quest for sexual self-knowledge, as two new books on the history and politics of sex toys reveal, would become a driver of feminist social change, striking a blow against men’s overweening insecurity and the attempt (still with us today) to control women’s bodies. As Lynn Comella writes in “Vibrator Nation,” retailers like Good Vibrations in San Francisco created an erotic consumer landscape different from anything that previously existed for women, one that was safe, attractive, welcoming and ultimately subversive, presenting female sexual fulfillment as “unattached to reproduction, motherhood, monogamy — even heterosexuality.”

As you can imagine, both books (which contain a great deal of overlap) are chockablock with colorful characters, starting with Betty Dodson, the Pied Piper of female onanism, who would often personally demonstrate — in the nude — how to use a vibrator to orgasm during her early sexual consciousness-raising workshops in New York. I am woman, hear me roar indeed.

Back in the day, though, attaining a Vibrator of One’s Own was tricky. The leering male gaze of the typical “adult” store was, at best, off-putting to most women. Amazon, where sex toys, like fresh produce, are just a mouse click away, was still a glimmer in Jeff Bezos’ eye. Enter Dell Williams, who after being shamed by a Macy’s salesclerk while checking out a Hitachi Magic Wand, founded in 1974 the mail order company Eve’s Garden. That was quickly followed by Good Vibrations, the first feminist sex toy storefront; it’s great fun to read the back story of Good Vibes’ late founder, Joani Blank, along with radical “sexperts” like Susie Bright and Carol Queen.
Continue reading the main story

The authors of “Vibrator Nation” and “Buzz” each put in time observing how sex toys are sold, so have firsthand insight into the industry. Whose take will hold more appeal depends on the reader’s interests: In “Buzz,” Hallie Lieberman offers a broader view, taking us back some 30,000 years, when our ancestors carved penises out of siltstone; moving on to the ancient Greeks’ creative use of olive oil; the buzzy medical devices of the 19th century (disappointingly, doctors’ notorious in-office use of vibrators as treatment for female “hysteria” is urban legend); and the impact of early-20th-century obscenity laws — incredibly, sex toys remain illegal in Alabama — before digging deeply into more contemporary influences. In addition to feminist retailers, Lieberman braids in stories of men like Ted Marche, whose family business — employing his wife and teenage children — began by making prosthetic strap-ons for impotent men; Gosnell Duncan, who made sex aids for the disabled and was the first to expand dildo production beyond the Caucasian pink once called “flesh colored”; the Malorrus brothers, who were gag gift manufacturers (think penis pencil toppers); and the hard-core porn distribution mogul Reuben Sturman, who repeatedly, and eventually disastrously, ran afoul of the law. Although their X-rated wares would supposedly give women orgasms, unlike the feminist-championed toys they were sold primarily as devices that would benefit men. Much like the era’s sexual revolution, in other words, they maintained and even perpetuated a sexist status quo.

“Vibrator Nation” focuses more narrowly on women-owned vendors, wrestling with how their activist mission bumped up against the demands and constraints of the marketplace. Those early entrepreneurs, Comella writes, believed nothing less than that “women who had orgasms could change the world.” As with other utopian feminist visions, however, this one quickly splintered. Controversy broke out over what constituted “sex positivity,” what constituted “woman-friendly,” what constituted “woman.” Was it politically correct to stock, or even produce, feminist porn? Were BDSM lesbians invited to the party? Would the stores serve transwomen? Did the “respectable” aesthetic of the white, middle-class founders translate across lines of class and race? If the goal was self-exploration through a kind of cliteracy, what about customers (of any gender or sexual orientation) who wanted toys for partnered play or who enjoyed penetrative sex? Could a sex store that sold nine-inch, veined dildos retain its feminist bona fides? Dell Williams solved that particular problem by commissioning nonrepresentational silicone devices with names like “Venus Rising” from Gosnell Duncan, the man who made prosthetics for the disabled. Others followed suit.

Even so, Comella writes, the retailers struggled to stay afloat: Feminist stores refused, as a matter of principle, to trade on customers’ anxiety — there were none of the “tightening creams,” “numbing creams,” penis enlargers or anal bleaches that boosted profits at typical sex stores. Employees were considered “educators,” and sales were secondary to providing information and support. What’s more, Good Vibrations in particular was noncompetitive; Blank freely shared her business model with any woman interested in spreading the love.

Consumer culture and feminism have always been strange bedfellows, with the former tending to overpower the latter. Just as Virginia Slims co-opted the message of ’70s liberation, as the Spice Girls cannibalized ’90s grrrl power, so feminist sex stores exerted their influence on the mainstream, yet were ultimately absorbed and diluted by it. In 2007, Good Vibrations was sold to GVA-TWN, the very type of sleazy mega-sex-store company it was founded to disrupt. Though no physical changes have been made in the store, Good Vibrations is no longer woman-owned. Although the aesthetics haven’t changed, Lieberman writes, the idea of feminist sex toys as a source of women’s liberation has faded, all but disappeared. An infamous episode of “Sex and the City” that made the Rabbit the hottest vibrator in the nation also portrayed female masturbation as addictive and isolating, potentially leading to permanent loneliness. The sex toys in “Fifty Shades of Grey” were wielded solely in service of traditional sex and gender roles: A man is in charge of Anastasia Steele’s sexual awakening, and climax is properly experienced through partnered intercourse. Meanwhile, the orgasm gap between genders has proved more stubborn than the pay gap. Women still experience one orgasm for every three experienced by men in partnered sex. And fewer than half of teenage girls between 14 and 17 have ever masturbated.

At the end of “Buzz,” Lieberman makes a provocative point: Viagra is covered by insurance but vibrators aren’t, presumably because while erections are seen as medically necessary for sexual functioning the same is not true of female orgasm. Like our feminist foremothers, she envisions a new utopia, one in which the F.D.A. regulates sex toys to ensure their safety, in which they are covered by insurance, where children are taught about them in sex education courses and they are seen and even subsidized worldwide as a way to promote women’s sexual health.

In other words: We’ve come a long way, baby, but as “Vibrator Nation” and “Buzz” make clear, we still may not be coming enough.

Complete Article HERE!

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Vaginismus: a major psychological reason women experience pain during sex

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If you have never heard of vaginismus, it’s time to get it on your radar.

Don’t suffer in silence

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Aly Dilks, sexual health expert and clinical director at The Women’s Health Clinic, says: ‘It is the term used to describe recurrent or persistent involuntary tightening of muscles around the vagina whenever penetration is attempted,’

According to Vaginismus Awareness, the condition affects at least two in every 1,000 women at some point in their lifetime.

Approximately 10% of adult women have experienced painful intercourse in the past six months.

‘It’s not fully understood why the condition happens [but] factors can include thinking the vagina is too small, negative sexual thoughts – thinking sex will be painful and cause damage – and previous sexual abuse,’ says Ms Dilks.

She also lists damage to the vagina – common during childbirth or an episiotomy, a painful first sexual experience, relationship problems, and fear of pregnancy as other potential triggers.

Pain is not limited to sex.

Some women find inserting tampons or fingers painful; others find any type of penetration intolerable.

Unlike other causes of vaginal pain, such as an infection, vaginismus is a psychological problem that cannot be cured with a straightforward prescription.

There’s effective treatment

Help is available beyond search engine suggestions

This is not to say it can’t be treated: Vaginismus Awareness reports a 95% chance of treating this psychological condition effectively, and many women receive referrals to a sex therapist as a first port of call.

Colin Richards is a relationship and sex mentor and the founder of Intimacy Matters.

He says: ‘As a practitioner who works with both the psychological and physiological, about 20% of female clients that come to me for treatment around sexual performance come with some level of vaginismus.

‘The psycho-sensual treatment I offer involves talking through the psychological influences, followed by sensual massage that is given in controlled, professional space.

‘It allows the new emotional tools to emerge in an authentic, non-judgemental way.’

Both Ms Dilks and Mr Richards also suggest vaginal trainers: four, smooth, plastic penis-shaped objects in different sizes.

They can be used in the privacy of your own home, at your own pace. Ms Dilks says: ‘Once you feel comfortable inserting the smallest one, you can move on to the second size, and so on.’

‘It doesn’t matter how long it takes – whether it’s days, weeks, or months.’

Vaginismus is just one of many types of sexual frustrations and fears women face but, says Mr Richards, it is probably the most challenging for the sufferer.

That challenge is perpetuated by a lack of awareness and the taboo that still surrounds female sexuality, even when women talk to one another.

Yet it can have major implications on a woman’s sex life, self-esteem, body image and her relationships.

Hope for sufferers

Women can be reluctant to talk about their sex life, even with other women

If you have pain during sex, during your period, or if there’s anything that concerns you about your sexual health, don’t suffer in silence; women have been doing that for too long, and vaginismus is something for which there is a proven treatment.

Mr Richards says: ‘In my experience, if one can get to the root psychological cause of the anxiety or fear, then the vaginismus can be removed completely.

‘I have seen improvement over a period of three to six appointments.

‘As the mind learns that sexual penetration is not painful or wrong, and is, in fact, pleasurable, the body soon responds and lets go of the need to tense up.

‘[The woman] remains calm, and feels familiar with the situation, and so confident that everything should be fine.’

Complete Article HERE!

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Everything you could ever want to know about foot fetishes

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Some are in it for the toes, some love the funk.

A foot fetish is a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around because I personally find feet revolting. Always have, always will. Whether I imagine someone’s foot in my mouth or mine in someone else’s, my body recoils in a full body cringe from which I will not un-crimp myself until all other parties and their feet have exited the room.

That’s just me, though. A lot of people love feet. So many, in fact, that foot fetishes are among the most common anatomy-related fetishes around. According to Men’s Health, feet and toes ranked as the non-genital body parts most likely to rev libidos in a relatively recent survey. When the U.K.’s Channel 4 aired its Great British Sex Survey in early 2016, guess which fetish came out on top? That’s right: podophilia.

If you’re still left wondering exactly how foot fetishes work, or if you’re looking to incorporate some foot-loving into your intimate life, here’s everything you need to know about the hottest of the extremities.

What is a foot fetish?

Foot love is widespread, but how precisely does the fetish—by which I mean, a thing that inspires erotic fantasy so intense, its presence is necessary for sexual satisfaction—develop, readers may ask. According to Psychology Today, the prevailing theory about fetish origins holds that sexual proclivities form around a particular body part or object during childhood: Children, for example, might interact with their parents’ feet during playtime, and grow to associate feet and pleasure.

With respect to feet specifically, Psychology Today reports, their purported resemblance to human genitalia (I don’t see it) might trigger the same arousal without the pressure to perform that, for some people a vagina or penis cues. Another possibility is that the parts of the brain that control sensory feeling in the feet and genitals sit next to one another, and sometimes their wires get crossed.

Are there different kinds of foot fetishes?

Subsets of foot fetishism, or foot worship, include footwear fetishes. According to Psychology Today, there’s retifism, so-named for the French writer Nicolas Edme Rétif who reportedly wrote about his attraction to footwear and his attraction to footwear only, and aretifism, or attraction to foot adornments like toe rings, for example.

And the list goes on—some people might be really into toes and toe sucking while others get off on foot smell. Some people might get off on naked feet rather than feet replete with nail polish and anklets. Some people might love heel shape. To each their own.

How can I incorporate foot worship into my daily life?

As with any specific sexual interest, be open with partners: People who are actually worth your time and emotional investment won’t be assholes about what gets you off. Plus, most people seem to enjoy receiving foot massages, so that may be a promising place to start.

Foot kissing, toe sucking, and even the footjob—cradling the penis between both feet and stroking up and down—might appeal, or penetration with toes. Please make sure the feet involved have been cleaned first, which could even entail an erotic foot bath. Go wild!

Where to find foot fetish porn online

Thanks to the popularity of foot worship, a number of erotic sites have devoted themselves to foot fetishists. Here are a few of the big names in foot fetish porn.

1) Footsie Babes

The subscription platform Footsie Babes features feet prominently in all its fairly mainstream, mostly heterosexual porn videos.

2) 21 Foot Art

Like Footsie Babes, 21 FootArt bills itself as the “best foot erotica you will find, guaranteed.” Access to a two-day trial is just $1, while an annual membership is $10.

3) Hot Legs And Feet

Along with the typical foot stuff, Hot Legs and Feet incorporates leg lust, for those who are so inclined.

4) Foot Fetish Daily

Foot Fetish Daily bills itself as the “#1 Foot Fetish Site in the World,” and affords access to live cam work, where members may very well find someone performing the highly sought-after footjob.

5) Sexy Lena

SexyLena features one woman (Lena) who stokes foot fetishes in a number of ways. She’s often seen incorporating stockings, shoes, and more into her podiatric sex shows. Membership costs vary between $17 and $25.

(Please, regardless of your particular interests, pay for your porn. It’s the ethical thing to do.)

Complete Article HERE!

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7 Reasons Why Your Crotch Itches

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It may not be the most couth move men make, but there are occasions when guys grab at their balls for a quick scratch or adjustment. There are also times, however, when the urge to scratch is intense because you are experiencing a serious itching sensation, perhaps one that keeps recurring. Should you be concerned? Would you like to know why your crotch itches and what you can do about it?

Here are seven reasons why your crotch itches and, thankfully, ways you can stop itchy balls in their tracks. Some fixes are quick while others take a bit more time, but follow the suggestions and you should have your hand out of your pants in no time.

Chafing

Running and other athletic activities that can cause your thighs to rub together are typical causes of chafing. The rubbing can result in inflammation and minute cracks in the outer skin layer, resulting in a burning or itchy rash. You can protect your skin and eliminate the itching and burning by using a moisturizing cream that contains colloidal oatmeal along with one that provides zinc oxide. Natural remedies include aloe vera gel or olive oil rubbed into the affected area.

Contact dermatitis

This super itchy condition is caused when your skin makes contact with an allergen, which could be the material in your underwear, a new laundry detergent, fabric softener, or soap, or towels. Contact dermatitis usually looks like a bumpy red rash that may be accompanied by an oozing fluid. The effective treatment is to eliminate the cause, which may take a little detective work. If you recently started using a new soap, laundry detergent, or fabric softener, return to your old one. If you have new underwear, you may need to wash it several times (in your tried-and-true) detergent before wearing them. If you have contact dermatitis, you should notice results within 10 to 14 days or sooner.

Fungal infections

If a fungal infection is the cause of your itchiness, you likely will also have a rash or other noticeable skin condition. A yeast infection, for example, is usually accompanied by moist, shiny skin on the penis as well as white deposits in the skin folds and an itchy red rash. Other fungal infections may appear slightly differently. All fungal infections can be treated with antifungal cream (e.g., clotrimazole). A natural alternative is coconut oil, while other remedies (e.g., tea tree oil, oregano oil), when mixed with an appropriate amount of carrier oil, can be helpful as well. Discuss the best mixture of oils with a knowledgeable practitioner.

Genital warts

The human papillomavirus (HPV) is characterized by the presence of genital warts, which are usually soft, skin-colored growths that may even look like tiny florets of cauliflower. Fortunately, these itchy warts don’t cause any other symptoms, but they also are merely a visible representation of a systemic virus. You can successfully treat genital warts with topical medications available over the counter (e.g., imiquimod, podofilox, sinecatechins) or by prescription (e.g., podophyllin, trichloroacetic acid) or have the warts frozen or burned off by your doctor. However, the virus will remain in your system, and the warts may return at a later time.

Herpes

Sometimes itching is the first symptom of an infection with the herpes virus, a sexually transmitted disease. The itching quickly turns into burning, after which blisters can develop. If the blisters break, they can result in painful ulcers. The best treatment strategy is to see your physician, who can prescribe an antiviral medication such as acyclovir or valacyclovir hydrochloride. You also should inform any sexual partners of your infection so they can treated as well.

Intertrigo

Intertrigo is an inflammatory condition that forms in the folds of the skin. It is usually chronic, and along with itching you can experience burning, pain, and stinging. Intertrigo is caused and aggravated by exposure to friction, heat, moisture, and lack of air circulation. In some cases, intertrigo is complicated by a fungal, bacterial, or viral infection. Men who are obese and/or who have diabetes are frequently affected.

Treatment includes keeping the affected area as clean and dry as possible. Avoid wearing tight clothing that restricts air circulation. Use a barrier cream to help prevent irritation. Your doctor may suggest short-term use of a topical steroid to manage inflammation. If you have an infection, an antifungal or antibiotic ointment may be necessary.

Pubic lice

If you notice tiny yellowish or white specks near the roots of your pubic hair and the itching is intense, there’s a good chance you have eggs belonging to pubic lice (aka, crabs). Once the eggs hatch, the parasites are gray-white or tan and can cause quite a bit of itching and irritation as they crawl. You should see your healthcare provider as soon as possible for an accurate diagnosis.

Treatment of pubic lice typically includes use of a lotion or shampoo that contains either permethrin or pyrethrins with piperonyl butoxide, which kills lice. Natural remedies include holding a soft cloth soaked with equal amounts of apple cider vinegar and water on the affected area for about 30 minutes. Repeat daily as needed. Both peppermint and tea tree oils, mixed with an appropriate amount of carrier oil, can help eliminate pubic lice as well.

Complete Article HERE!

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