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Serious Business

Name: Lola
Gender: Female
Age: 37
Location: Tennessee
I have been married for 13 years. We have had a pretty healthy, fulfilling sex life. My husband does not like to admit to his insecurities but i think he has some insecurity about his penis size and lately, his problem with not lasting very long. He has developed an obsession with stretching my vagina and pulling my labia. He knows i don’t like it. The other night, he introduces a dildo he has secretly purchased. I have enjoyed dildos, even larger ones, in the past, but this one was ridiculously too big. It was over 12″ long and the circumference was as big as a baseball bat. I told him that it was hurting and that it was impossible. He forced it in me. I was crying in pain and he tells me later that he hasn’t been that aroused in years. I am hurt. It hurt me physically, i bled a little, but it hurts more emotionally. What do you think is wrong with him? He has never hit me or been abusive with me, in the past.

Jeez darlin’, that’s fucked…big time.womanlooksdown.jpgHere’s the thing about men who have sexual insecurities. They can, and often do, project their perceived inadequacies outside of themselves and then act out. And almost always this projection and acting out is aggressive and abusive. (Unless he’s just spending his money on a pimped out Hummer to compensate for his little dick.) Either way, it’s not pretty.

I suppose you know what we’re talkin’ about here, right Lola? It’s sexual assault. I mean let’s not mince words. Your husband assaulted you. It was premeditated and worst of all he took pleasure in it. This is extremely disturbing, because, despite his non-aggressive past, he has just upped the ante exponentially. You know what they say about domesticated animals that inexplicably develop an aggressive steak. Once they get a taste for blood there’s no turning back.

I think your old man has severe anger issues. Issues that if left untreated will…not maybe, but absolutely will…escalate into more aggressive and abusive behavior. Your guy needs help. He needs to know that he stands on a precipice. He is developing a cognitive and affective connection between violence and pleasure and this is very dangerous for all involved, especially you, Lolaabuse_1.jpg.

You don’t mention any remorse he may have had about this assault. This too is disturbing. Since you can’t precisely pinpoint the cause of his acting out, you’ll never really know when you’re safe and when you’re not. I encourage you not to treat this lightly. Confront him about this. Make it clear to him that he has violated the bond of trust between the two of you. He may try and shift the blame for this incident to you. But remember, you’re not at fault. Insist that he seek professional help immediately. Anything short of him doing that will nullify your relationship.

No waffling on this, Lola! You do not want him to get the message that this incident can be winked at or overlooked. Your wellbeing hangs in the balance.All unwanted, forced, manipulated, or coerced sexual contact or activity is sexual assault. Sexual assault is not about sex, eroticism or desire; it is about power, control and abuse.

Name: JIM
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: WASHINGTON,USA
I’m uncircumcised with about 1 inch of foreskin overhang. I have never seen another man with any longer hood. I get a lot of smegma build up after a day of sweating and pissing and by the end of the day I can smell my ripe hooded cock, is this normal to get so much build up?

Everybody’s body is different. The length of your foreskin may not be the only thing that distinguishes you from everybody else. Some people, and you may be one of them, have overactive glands that can contribute to distinctive body odors. This is a holdover from our pre-human ancestors. In the animal kingdom, strong odors signify virility and definitely contribute mating success. Things are quite different nowadays. Strong body odor suggests poor hygiene rather than virility and it will absolutely sabotage mating success.

Problem odor is most often associated with the musky areas of the human body —phimot4.jpg underarms, crotch and feet. But some people have problem odors in their mouth, sinuses and scalp. Sometimes these problem odors are associated with an infection or another health concern. But generally speaking, strong body odor is associated with inadequate hygiene.

Uncut men need to pay particular attention to cleaning their cock. If you’re not careful to completely retract your heavy hood when you shower or bathe everyday you will have a problem with odor. Poor hygiene can also contribute to something more serious like phimosis. The popular wisdom about cleaning under your foreskin is that soap is unnecessary. A full rinsing with warm water should be sufficient. If you need soap, use a very mild, hypoallergenic soap for this delicate area. Ether way, fully retracting your foreskin is essential. I’d also encourage you to retract your foreskin when you take a leak. That way you won’t have that pissy smell.

Finally, there is an awful lot of evidence that shows a direct connection between one’s diet and one’s personal odor. If you continue to have a problem avoid refined sugar, white flour, hydrogenated oils and other processed foods. Cut back on red meat consumption, alcohol and caffeine. A diet high in fiber, one that has lots of whole grains, leafy vegetables, sprouts, fresh fruits, soy products, raw nuts is your best bet for regaining a more acceptable smell.

Name: Karen
Gender: Female
Age: 36
Location: Portland
I have a really big problem. I can’t keep a girlfriend because once I’m in a committed relationship I lose my desire for sex. I don’t mean it slacks off; it just totally stops. I’ve always been this way. I can have casual sex with women, but when things get serious sex goes out the window. This has been the demise of every relationship I’ve ever had. I’m currently dating this really great woman, but I’m afraid my problem will drive her away too. Is there anything I can do to stop this from happening?

Whoops, looks like another case of dreaded LBD…Lesbian Bed Death.

lesbian_toys2.jpg

Ya know it’s pretty common for lovers in long-term relationships to gradually lose interest in sex with each other. But lesbiterians are particularly susceptible to this malady. Some couples, but lesbians in particular, end all sexual expression between them; yet stay very committed and loving toward each other. Thus the somewhat humorous term, “lesbian bed death.”You Karen, apparently suffer from a particularly nasty case of LBD.

May I ask, is this an issue for you because, and only because, it kills off all your relationships way too soon? Or are you concerned about this because you, yourself, are uneasy about the complete cessation of sex once you nest? The reason I ask is, if the only reason for changing is to please someone else, even someone you like a lot, the likelihood that you will actually change is considerably less than if you, yourself, desire the change.

lesbians0.jpgLet’s say you really want to change for yourself, but you just don’t know how. I’d advise working with a sex positive therapist. If you and I were working together, for example, I’d want to get to the bottom of what triggers your attitude shift toward sex when you nest. Is there some disconnect for you between sex and intimacy? If there is a disconnect for you, you’re not alone. People with self-esteem issues, or body issues, people with extreme scruples about sex, the kind that translates into guilt and shame often have a similar disconnect. And gay and lesbian people who have not resolved their internalized homophobia will frequently have a sex and intimacy rift.

Sound familiar? I would guess so. Reversing this unhappy trend is not an insurmountable task. But it will take a concerted effort to heal the divide that you may have between your sexual expression and intimacy needs.

You say you’re met this really great woman and you want this relationship to last. FANTASTIC! Is it safe to assume that she has a healthier appreciation of sex then you? If she does, I suggest you engage her in your healing process. However, you gotta be totally up front with her about your past pattern of disconnect. Marshal her sex-positive energy to help you resolve your issues. She will need a heads-up on the impending sex shut down though, so she can help you resist it. With her help, the two of you could move through this together.

Name: Wayne
Gender:
Age: 26
Location: Philadelphia
Hey Dr. Dick I have a little issue that has stumped me, my doctor, and numerous urologists. I figure there’s no harm in asking one more person. I have never, not once, been able to cum normally. (I suppose there is a normal way, considering every other guy I’ve ever met has been able to do it that way.) The only way I have ever achieved orgasm is by laying on my stomach, putting pressure with a slightly closed fist on the spot where my dick meets the rest of my body, and sliding back and forth. Weird aside — this was a way to lift myself up off the floor and “fly” as a young kid, then one day I found out that it was pleasurable. I know- weird little boy. But this is anonymous, right. Anyway, fast forward to my twenties and becoming sexually active and now I have a concern. I want to be able to cum by having intercourse or just jacking off. But I’ve never been able to. I can come very close, but the deal just doesn’t happen. (Never have a problem getting hard.) Any thoughts? Thanks for your time. Wayne

Interesting masturbation technique you got there, my friend. While it is indeed unique, it is not the most distinctive style I’ve even encountered in my career. Someday I oughta write a book.36.bmpWhat’s most amazing to me about what you write here is that this predicament of yours has stumped all the physicians you’ve consulted. I suppose that says volumes about how informed most medical doctors are about human sexuality.

Simply put, Wayne, over the years you’ve habituated your body to respond pleasurably to a particular stimulus. Ever hear of Pavlov’s dogs? Right! What we have here is exactly the same thing, only completely different. ;-) You apply the stimulus — laying on your stomach, putting pressure with a slightly closed fist on the spot where your dick meets the rest of your body, and sliding back and forth. And your body responds with an orgasm.

Most all of us, both female and male, discover the joy of self-pleasuring accidentally. Your first encounter with masturbation, although you probably didn’t know that’s what it was called at the time, was through your boyhood attempts to fly. And fly you did! As you suggest, most other people discover self-pleasuring in a more conventional way, through touch. Thus the more “normal” — and I use that word in quotes — means of getting one’s self off is manually.33.bmp

Your unique style of self-pleasuring is completely benign, but it doesn’t really lend itself to partnered sex, as you say. I mean, how awkward would fucking be if you had to get off your partner and on to the floor to cum? So is there a solution? Sure there is. And it’s not a particularly difficult nut to crack…so to speak.

Let me tell you about a former client of mine. He was about your age when we met several years ago. He presented a similar concern to yours. He learned to masturbate in the same position as you, lying on your stomach, but he got off by humping a pillow in that position. Try as he might, he never was able to get off any other way. This was driving him crazy. He couldn’t date anyone, because he was too embarrassed about the whole pillow thing.

Over the next 4 or 5 weeks I helped my client learn a new way of self-pleasuring that would lend itself to happy partnered sex. The object was to rid himself of the need for the pillow altogether and we did this in incremental steps. Luckily, my client was a horny little bugger. He masturbated at least twice a day, sometimes even more frequently. I decided to use his natural horniness as part of the intervention.

My client had to promise me that he wouldn’t masturbate in his traditional way for one full week, absolutely no pillow sex for an entire 7-day period. If he failed to keep his promise, he would have to start all over from day one. At first he couldn’t see the purpose in this moratorium, but I insisted. By the time I saw him next, the poor boy had blue balls for days. So he was primed and ready to go. His next exercise was to change position for his first masturbation after the weeklong moratorium. He could masturbate with his pillow, but he had to lie on his back. He was not permitted to roll over on to his stomach. This wasn’t immediately successful, but his pent-up sexual energy finally carried the day and he got off in the first new position — on his back — since he learned to masturbate.

I gave him a new exercise the following week. While on his back, he could use the pillow35.bmp to rub himself, but only to the point where he was about to cum. At that point, he was to put the pillow aside and finish himself off with his hand. This was only slightly more difficult than the previous exercise. And within two attempts he finally got himself off with his hand for the first time in his life. The rest of his therapeutic intervention was simply following this behavior modification course of action till he didn’t need the pillow at all.

I assume you see where I’m going with this, Wayne, right? You could do this same sort of intervention on your own to learn a new and more traditional way of masturbating, but you’d probably have more success working with a qualified sex therapist.

The firm desire to change a behavior or habit is the most important aspect of the process of change. Second is denying yourself the convenient and habitual stimulus — in your case, your flying masturbation style. This will drive you to find a replacement means of getting off — a more traditional manual style. Weaning yourself off one style of masturbation incrementally till you are successful in replacing that style with another is the most efficient means of behavior change. I encourage you to give it a try.

Good luck ya’ll

TOOLS OF THE TRADE

Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and wannabes to some very interesting playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and Dr Dick’s Stockroom I’m able to bring you another installment of my ever so popular, Sex Toy Awareness feature.

Name: Amy
Gender: female
Age: 20
Location: Ohio
My boy friend and I are getting bored and want to try toys. I have a vibrator but c030.jpgI want him to get off too. What toys would you recommend for both of us to get off at the same time?

I have just the thing for you and the BF, darling! In fact, if you don’t wind up getting two of these, you kids will be fightin’ over who will get to use it first, that’s for damn sure. I’m getting so much great feedback on this little number, I may have to get one my ownself, don’t cha know. Let me introduce you kids to The Cone (C030)

The Cone is an exciting innovative new vibrating sex toy. It’s constructed of a pastel pink, super soft plastic with a powerful 3 Volt, 3000 rpm gold brush motor. There are 16 different settings, which vary the vibration speed and frequency. The Cone looks like a gently modified version of an infamous medieval torture device known as a “Judas Cradle”, but you won’t find anything excruciating about this cute sex toy.

This vibrating sex toy that stimulates the pussy and/or the butt hole, can be used on the clit or balls. It can be used alone or with a partner. The Cone may be used with any lubricant, and cleans easily with gentle wiping.

Good luck

Name: shayne
Gender:
Age: 44
Location: indiana
Okay this might sound silly but i want to buy a tear drop cock ring, but have no idea how to even measure to get the right size any help would be wonderful.

c937.jpgIt’s important to get an accurate measurement of your equipment before you buy an inflexible cock ring. If you get one that’s too small and it won’t fit, one that’s too big, it will fall off. Measuring is simple. Take a string and slip it behind yours balls and tug it up around the top of your cock (where it meets your body). Mark the string on both sides where it comes together at a snugness that is comfortable for you.

This measurement will give you your circumference. Now take your circumference measurement and divide by pi (3.14.) This measurement will give you your diameter or ring size. I recommended you do this a few times to assure you get a proper measurement.

A properly fitting cock ring should be loose enough to get on and off, with a fair amount of ease, but be tight enough to restrict blood flow once the blood starts pumping into your pecker.

Good luck

Name: Jimmy
Gender: male
Age: 32
Location: Little Rock
I’m really getting into my nipples lately. I have a snake bite kit that I’ve been using to lengthen my nips. Any other gadgets of this sort that you can recommend?

c656.jpgYou betcha! Jimmy! Meet your new best friends, The Tit Tuggers (C656) These babies consist of a pair of erotic nickel plated breast and nipple torture devices specially designed to pinch and pull the tits. The Tit Tuggers are pleasurably painful and playful, and even though they pinch hard they feel good.

The Tit Tuggers work by first clamping the clothes-pin style pincher to the nipple. The clamper is fastened to a stem and together they measure a total length of 61⁄4”. The stem is threaded.

The curved metal arch of the Tit Tugger has an opening in the center for the stem to fit through and a wing nut on the outside hold it in place. The stem can be pulled through and tightened to pull the nipple out up to a total of 11⁄2”. Yowsa!

The Tit Tuggers are sold in pairs.

Name: Cassie & Matt
Gender:
Age: 39, 44
Location: Albuquerque
A couple in our swinger group turned us on to electrical play. We couldn’t get enough. We’re hooked. We want to experiment on our own, but we’re not sure where to begin. Thoughts?c063.jpg

Alrighty then, ya’ll oughta start with a basic PES Powerbox (C063).

This power source unit is designed to activate various Erotic Electro Stimulation devices, which then deliver the energy through conductive electrodes touching the skin.

Erotic Electro Stimulation interacts directly with nerve endings instead of the limited surface stimulation of mechanical vibrators. After reaching the desired power level, the frequency and pulse rates can be adjusted to attain the preferred stimulation.

c190.jpgElectro Stimulation devices merge with electrical body impulses to nerve endings; triggering arousal in excess of the normal orgasmic response. This intensification is an effect mechanical vibrators can’t match.

The PES Power Box can be used with up to four single or two double PES electrodes. Push-button switches allow for the momentary pause of any device, while LEDs visually show the frequency of the pulses. Adjustments are controlled through the use of two POWER knobs, a PULSE knob, and two FREQUENCY knobs, one on the face of the box and a fine adjustment on the side. c092.jpg

Remember, this is just the main unit. You’ll also need to stock up on all your favorite attachments, like the PES-Vaginal Shield (C190) and PES Prostate Stimulator Electrode (C092).

Good luck

Name: Jeremy Taylor
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Bangor Maine
I have a problem with my penis size. I don’t think it’s long enough to give a woman pleasure. You keep saying there’s no help for us little guys. What are we supposed to do?

a989.jpgYou may have misunderstood my previous advice about cock enhancement devices, creams, pills and patches. That shit don’t work. But that’s not to say that you can’t augment what you have down there with a little creativity and the help of the Cyberskin Penis Extension (A989). Take a look at this, pup.

The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in dildos and cock extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (11⁄2″ or 3″) extension is much firmer. It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside, ya know like a real cock!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of this extension are designed to create a realistic effect as well. And it looks realistic… and feels more realistic.

There’s a trick to putting this extension on: You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the (11⁄2″ or 3″) extension. Then place it against the head of your hard dick, roll down the sleeve snugly around your cock, sealing your johnson inside the sleeve. A partial seal will form, helping the extension stay on during fucking.

Wearing this extension will add to both the length and thickness of the dong. It will of course reduce the sensation in your dick during fucking, but that’s not always a bad thing, especially for guys with a real short fuse. Besides, a lot of guys like the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the sleeve.

Good luck

I Have A Pain in My Inbox!

From the sublime to the ridiculous, my inbox is a catch all. Kinda like the grease trap in your kitchen drain. Wading through the detritus can often be injurious to my health. But wade I must. So onward we go.

Name: anonras
Gender:
Age: 47
Location: Northridge CA
I’ve heard a lot about checking your balls for possible problems — but none ever say what lumps you have naturally. At the low point of my testacies I feel a lump (I would explain it as an area that would feel more or less like a cracked egg, you have that part that is globulous and is string-tethered to the yoke. Is that exactly what’s happening? Should you feel any pain if you squeeze it — especially trying to figure out if it is a lump or not?

repo.jpgHoney, I’m clever as all-get out about lots of things, but the lump on your balls ain’t one of those things. I’m not a medical doctor; I don’t even play one here on the internets. And I can assure you, no reputable doctor anywhere would hazard a guess about what you present without first seeing you in person. That’s just good medicine.

That being said, I applaud you taking note of your balls in an inquisitive sort of way. Good for you! But you should also have at least a rudimentary understanding of your testicular anatomy. So that when you do your self-exam, you can have some sense about what it is you are examining. To this purpose, I offer the diagram to the right. Is there anything in the diagram that looks even remotely like what you are feeling in your ballsack?

Finally, if you have a concern about what you think may be an abnormality, isn’t it high time for you to high tail it to a doctor for a look-see?

Good luck

Name: Dorian
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: NYC
Is there any difference in Penis size between races?

Seriously? You need to get out more, darlin!
black_big_dick1.jpg
You becha there a difference in cock size between the races. While, within each racial group there is a natural diversity of size, from tiny to gargantuan. There’s no getting around the fact that there are more gargantuan johnsons in some racial groups then other. At the risk of perpetuating a stereotype, compare some fine black dick to some sweet Chinese cock.

asian.jpg

Good luck

Name: Kent I B Pinker
Gender:
Age: 32
Location: New Zealand
I am curious about anal bleaching. In part just for the sheer vanity of it, but also as a surprise and kinky turn on for my partner. I have done some research online but I am scared after reading some of the horror stories. Any advice?

Kent I B Pinker? I love it! You get the award for “Most Clever Pseudonym of the Year! Congratulations!

If you’re curious about anal bleaching — and yes, there is such a thing — you have way too much time on your hands. Anal bleaching is just the latest in a string of truly disturbing cosmetic trends sweeping the “More Money Than Brains” crowd. WTF, folks? If your vanity extends to the hue of your rosebud, you’re just too goddamn vain, in my humble opinion!

anusbanner.jpgThis all started in the adult industry, don’t ‘cha know. I guess some folks figured they weren’t quite ready for their close-up. Being part of that industry myself, I know how unforgiving hot lights and hi-def can be. However, I still can’t condone such a dangerous and reckless practice.

You are right to be scared off by the horror stories of bleachings gone bad, Kent. So I suggest, unless your hole is makin’ you money, you forego even contemplating the procedure.

Good luck

Name: William
Gender:
Age: 67
Location: Connecticut
Is there such a thing as a being a homosexual watcher only? Getting an erection but not wanting to perform?

kinsey_scale.jpgAll sexual orientation is on a continuum. See the Kinsey Scale to the right. The dean of American sex research, Alfred Kinsey, his associate, Wardell Pomeroy, and others developed this scale as a way of classifying a person’s sexuality in terms of both behavior and fantasy. These pioneering sexologists also found that an individual may be reassigned a position on this scale, at different periods in his/her life. It’s conceivable that one could go from 0 to 6 in a lifetime, or just a summer on Fire Island. This seven-point scale comes close to showing the many gradations that actually exist in human sexual expression.

To your specific question, William… Yes, some one could be a Kinsey “6” in terms of his fantasy and desire, but be a Kinsey “0” in terms of behaviors.

We’re amazing creatures, huh?

Good Luck

Name: michelle
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: canada
tips to help when the man your sleeping with has a small penis

Tips? …no pun intended, I hope.

doggiestyle.jpgOk, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it. Tip #2, find a guy with more pork. Tip #3, get a dildo. Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got. Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.

Good luck

Name: Drew
Gender:
Age: 43
Location: Philadelphia
I am looking forward to my first man-on-man sex for the first time with a hookup in the near future. Question: What type of “preparation” do I need for my first anal sex? Also, should I use a condom with giving/getting oral sex? Thanks.

You’re in luck, newbee butt-pirate! Dr Dick has written (postings) and spoken (podcasts) extensively about the joys of ass fucking. Check out the CATEGORIES section on the left side of the site. Look for anything with the word “ass” in it. We don’t mince words around here. Or you can simply search for Liberating The B.O.B. Within. That’ll get ya started.

As to your concern about condom-covered dick for blowjobs; I don’t see a pressing reason for such. That’s not to say there’s no reason, just not a pressing one. I am of the mind that we ought to know something about the dick we’re sucking. Does it look healthy? Do you know where it’s been before it was in your mouth? How’s our oral health and hygiene? Will there be an exchange of bodily fluids? If you have questions about any of these things, maybe you need to postpone the cocksucking.

Good luck

Name: william
Gender:
Age: 19
Location: Wisconsin
In cock size, is 4 1/2 to small. Why is it so small and is there a way to fix it.

Jeez, ya mean 4.5” erect? Yeah, that’s kinda on the “How Adorable” end of the size spectrum. It’s not quite, “OMG, How Pathetic”, nor is it “Yikes, You’ll Put an Eye Out With That” either.

Why is it so small? Sheesh, beats me. Maybe when the angles were handing out meat, you thought they said “feet” and asked for petite.

Is there a way to fix it? Are you suggesting it doesn’t work? Or are you just a size queen? While you’re trying to figure that out, why not take a look at: Much Ado About Very Little.

Good luck

Much Ado About Very Little

Ya’ll are gotta get a load of this. It’s rare that one person can generate an entire column with his email exchange, but that’s what happened this month. The curious thing is that I was already preparing a column about men’s obsession with dick size when along comes this dude and practically writes the whole damn column on his own.

Check it out!

Dr. Dick,
My lover of 10 years just left me. The guy he left me for is 12 years younger. I will be forty-one in June. The primary reason that he left is because, and I quote; “you have a great body and are the most attentive lover I have ever had, but he has a ten inch dick! You cannot compete with that!” And he is right. I am only 7.5.
I have stopped going out. Every chat room online has guys that are 10 plus inches in them. So I have not been in chat rooms, gone to bars or stayed in touch with friends. The two guys I attempted to have sex with, one was a stripper who was on the cover of Inches the week after we met. The other one was an army guy that had a dick like a piece of polish sausage.
I never have been a fan of huge cocks, but now I want one. I want to be at least 9.5 inches. Can this be done through surgery? I understand that vacuum pumps do not really work.
Can you seriously offer some help or advice?
Thanks.
Without a Big One

Wow, WABO, you’ve come up with a really brilliant idea. Let’s all of us fight shallow with shallow!

p1.jpgHoney, you’re 41 and yet you apparently still have this adolescent GRASP on the whole dick size thing, huh? Too bad! I guess some folks just never grow up. And I hate to break the news to you, but all those guys on line, the ones with 10 inches…those are cyber inches, darlin. Cyber inches have no connection at all to real honest-to-goodness LIVE inches. Jeez, wake up and smell the coffee. You’re giving us homos a bad name.

Throughout history, men have obsessed about the size of their cocks. And when there’s attention of this magnitude paid to something this trivial, you can be sure there’s gonna be an entire industry poised to bilk the shit out of the willie worrisome, like you WABO. Hey, where do you suppose the term “snake oil” originated? Sheesh!

All of this unfortunate big-dick envy creates a never-ending parade of con artists tryin’ to sell a remedy, of one sort or another, to cure guys, just like you, of their “shame”. But, take it from Dr. Dick, the dick doctor; it’s all bullshit. And some of the bullshit is really scary and dangerous bullshit.

For every little peanut out there, (and if you are reporting your size accurately, you’re not little in any way shape or form) there is some kooky diet, ridiculous cream, bogus massage technique or worthless breathing exercise that is supposed to transform one’s mini-meat into the giant economy size. And let’s not forget the weights you can hang on your thang. Vacuum devices to pump up your thang. And of course the twenty-first century solution — cosmetic surgery — to put a happy face on your thang. The results are dubious if there are any results at all. And each has negative side effects, some of which are more revolting than others.

Here’s the last word on this — don’t waste your money on any of this crap. Or better yet, send me the money, and I’ll put it to good use. Here’s the very best advice I can offer a guy who is unhappy about the size of his schlong…learn to love what ya got and leave it the hell alone.

My overriding concern, WABO, is for your state of mind. I ask myself, what kind of person would chase after a faithless BF, disrupt an established value system and seriously contemplate physically altering his appearance with all the risks that that implies? I can only assume that this is just some kind of mid-life crisis that you’re experiencing and that this will pass with time. Hang in there, WABO.

Dr. Dick

Richard,
Or should I say Dr. Dick, although I am angry and hurt I am in no way experiencing a mid life crisis. In addition, if the correct way to measure the penis is from the base to tip topside…I have done so with a fabric tape measure. The tape breaks, or bends at just past 7.5. In my experience that is small.
Just curious…How big is Dr. Dick’s cock? How big are the cocks of the guys you hire for you films and productions. I bet there are none my size or smaller. I always find it interesting that guys like Ron Jeremy or the late Scott O’Hara delving out advice to men much smaller telling them to learn to love themselves. Gee that helps a lot at a bathhouse or a play party. Guys like that, like the guy my ex left me for, never have to worry about dropping there pants after a hot date with a potential boyfriend or fuck buddy and worry about being humiliated because of the size of there cock.
I guess if I were as well adjusted or as well hung it wouldn’t be a problem.
Without

Dear Without,

Here’s what I know.

WHAT IS THE AVERAGE PENIS SIZE? The average penis size when erect is only 5.7″ to 6″. Over 90% of men posses this size.r1.jpg

HOW TO MEASURE PENIS SIZE: The easiest way to measure the erect penis is to use a piece of string or similar and wrap it around the thickest part of the erect penis – this is usually very near the base of your dick, but the glans just below the head can sometimes be thicker.

Make a mark on the string where it meets the start of the string and then lay the string flat next to a ruler and measure the distance between the beginning and the end mark. This measurement is your penis circumference.

To find out your length, use a ruler (running along the top of your penis) to measure from the base of the penis, i.e. where the shaft meets the body, to the tip.

Dr. Dick

Dr. Dick,
I was able to find your profile online. You are quite obviously very well hung. Lucky for you. I have decided to talk to a surgeon in NYC that does this particular surgery. In addition, he is putting me in touch with men that he has performed this procedure on that have had success.
Since you are already hung well, I don’t expect you to understand. I imagine no one has ever left you because your dick was not BIG ENOUGH! I had hoped for some real and helpful advice. Instead I found your comments belittling.
Thank you,
Without

Dear WABO

t2.jpgDude, are you serious? You don’t know squat about me, girlfriend. And here’s a tip, the beauty part of free advice is you can either take it or leave it.

Belittling, huh? Curious choice of words in light of what we’re discussing. Take it from a professional; it is you who belittle yourself, not me. A big dick makes one a curiosity, it doesn’t make one interesting.

Have a ball with that surgeon. Maybe, if you spend a shit lot of money to get an extra inch of dick you’ll be a happier man. I doubt it, but I could be wrong.

While you’re at it, why not have the doctor put you in touch with the guys who aren’t success stories. Have you ever seen a botched dick job? Not pretty! I’d be willing to wager the cost of such an intervention that there are a lot more dissatisfied customers than satisfied ones.

The best of luck to you. Oh, and have a nice day.

Dr. Dick

Richard,
Are you a real Doctor? Would you be this insensitive if I were a paying patient? I have lost my lover to someone younger because he has a bigger cock. I have not had sex in months. The two times I tried the guys were hung huge. I don’t go out and I see no possible chance for happiness without being able to compete.
Tried three therapists…one fell asleep while I was crying. One said I was too angry for his experience, the last one was a woman. What do I do?

Here’s what you should do, WABO, drop all this pathetic self-pity routine and invest in something that will make you a more interesting person, something that does not call attention to your dick regardless of its size. Either that or you’ll find yourself even more alone and bitter than you currently are. So buck up, bubby, and pull yourself together. No more whining.

Dr. Dick

Tricks Of The Trade — Part 1

A friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.

What would, in your esteemed opinion, be your five hot tips for giving a great hand job?

First, there are 10, not 5. Hand jobs are too important for just 5.

Most men love a good old-fashioned hand job. Here’s the deal with a lot of us folks who own a dick. We first become acquainted with the pleasure our cock can offer through handling ourselves. And when it comes right down to it, there is rarely a mouth, pussy or ass that can compete with the variety of stroke and firmness of grip that a hand can provide. Simply stated, the humble hand job is the ideal way to pleasure your man. Just remember, even though jerkin off your guy isn’t particularly exotic, as far as sex acts go, it never has to be boring for you or him.busy masturbating

1) I am of the mind that a brilliant wank begins with a first class lube. Many guys swear by silicone-based lubes for this purpose, but a hand job connoisseur will probably have his very own favorite. Start off with just enough lube to make things slick, you don’t want to over do it. Get a feel for his johnson and what you have to work with. Skillfully draw back the skin of his rod toward the root of his dick till it is taut. This is much easier to do on uncut men, but even most cut men will have some skin left for move.

2) Tell your dude how much you like his meat. A hand job is a perfect time to marvel at the work of art before you. Feel free to uooh and ahhh a lot. Your man will get off on you admiring his unit. For, as we all know, a hard man is good to find. Can you wrap your fingers around the base of his unit and get a good grip there? If not, you’ll want to consider a cockring for this purpose. if you use a cockring, you’ll free up both your hands for what’s to come.

3) Now that you got yourself a really nice boner goin’, get between his legs. Take his cock between the palms of your hands, interlock your fingers and guide your hands up and down his shaft. Your thumbs should be on the underside of his dick, so that on each stroke up and down, you hit his frenulum with the pads of your thumb. Now with his cock still between your palms, rub your hands together, like if you were warming them. This will provide a great new sensation for your guy.

cock,schlong, dong4) Hold his cock in one hand and with the well-lubed palm of your other hand, slowly move it in nice lazy circles all over his dickhead. This is a particularly delicate procedure, especially if your man is uncut. His dickhead will be super sensitive, now that he is fully aroused. And don’t forget, if you are using a cockring, his pecker will be even more engorged than usual, making it hypersensitive. Be sure to ask for feedback on this move. If he finds this too uncomfortable, move on to something more pleasurable. Here’s a tip: us men being who we are will, no doubt, already be giving you directions on what to do and how to do it down there. So all you have to do is follow his lead. Remember, he knows his way around his joint better than anyone.

5) Don’t forget to service his nuts. Since a guy’s jewels are less sensitive to touch than his dickhead, you can manhandle them a lot more. Squeeze and tug and even gently slap those babies to your heart’s delight. While you are doing that, and with his dick flat against his belly, shimmy the heel of your hand up and down the underside of his cock. You see how you are incorporating different sensations and movements all at the same time? Keep this up and your man will be putty in your hands, no pun intended.

6) Interlace your fingers and make a tight passageway through the palms of your hands. Pump up and down his shaft this way. As you get to the top of his cock close the passageway even tighter. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. Then with one hand rapidly following the other in only a downward stroke, make like a perpetual penetration tunnel. This will make his eyes roll back in his head in ecstasy.titty fuck01

(This might be a good time to incorporate other parts of your body besides your hands. Most men get off on a titty –fuck. Cozy his cock between your boobs and have him hump away. You can also use your feet in the same fashion. Lots of guys can really get off fuckin’ a chick’s (or dude’s) feet.)

7) Now, back to the hand job. Rhythmically stroke only his rod. Watch as his dickhead swells and turns red or even purple. Once it’s bright red, use your fingertips on the tip of his dick like you are turning a doorknob, first to the right, then to the left. Lightly at first, but slowly increase the pressure till he begs you to stop. Now you got him right where you want him.

8) Here’s where things can get really interesting. When he’s least expecting it, move one of your hands down past his nuts and taint. You know what a taint is, don’t cha? That’s the patch of skin between his balls and his asshole. It got its name from taint ass and taint balls, ya get it? Anyhow, once past his taint you’ll find his rosebud. With a well-lubed finger massage his pucker. If this is virgin territory for your man, he’s in for the thrill of his life. Continue to stroke both his cock and asshole. Don’t be afraid to try and push your fingertip past his sphincter. If he lets you inside, you will have access to his prostate. But even if he doesn’t, massaging the outside of his hole will bring him very close to an explosive conclusion.

9) If you’re ready to finish him off, so to speak, pick up the pace of your stroke. He will be breathing heavily now and he’ll look down over his chest at the miracle happening between his legs. Tell him to throw his legs in the air and spread them as far apart as possible. This will add considerably to the muscle tension that you’ve already built up. And a thunderous orgasm is all about muscle tension.

Now bring this puppy home. Lick his balls, finger his hole and beat his meat. Insist that he keeps his feet in he air and his legs splayed. Momentarily, he will begin to quake with building mini-orgasms. He will no doubt try to buck himself to conclusion, but don’t let him. For the moment you’re in charge down here, not him. Tease him one last time as he nears ejaculation. When he’s almost there, suddenly stop what you’re doing. This will, of course, drive him crazy. And don’t resume your stroking till he begs for it.

It will probably only take a few more strokes before he gives up the spunk. Keep your face, or at least your eyes, out of the way, because when he finally blows it will be explosive. If you’ve toyed with him for any length of time, you will have built up quite a load and it will shoot in spurts till he is empty.

10) His cock will be hypersensitive after he cums, so be gentle.

 

ANAL PLEASURE AND THE PROSTATE

1. “Male G-Spot” clarification — we’ve heard the prostate referred to as the “male G-spot,” but we’ve also heard the frenulum given the same name. Which is it? Or is this term not appropriate for either one?cake & sodomy

Male G-Spot more appropriately denotes the prostate, definitely not the frenulum. However, let’s be grown up about this and skip the unnecessary comparison between the G-Spot and anything in the male anatomy. Because that’s like saying a clit is a female penis. If we must use shorthand for the prostate, try P-Spot.

2. How should a woman go about finding and petting the prostate?

  • First, trim your fingernails and file them smooth. And before you start playing with a man’s hole have him relax.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises will help him do that.
    Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, this type of lube isn’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a nice hand job. Stroke his dick with your lubed hand to get him into his happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to his balls and taint. While his legs are open find his hole and play with his rosebud. Gently massage the area around his asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply let him get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
    If you do this while you’re stroking his cock, you will find that his hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once he’s comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of his ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking your man.
  • About an inch or so inside your man’s ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the wall of his rectum. You’ll discover a round bulb of tissue the size of a walnut — this is his prostate.
  • It shouldn’t be hard to find, particularly if your man is all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you’re still stroking his wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets him off. In fact, you will find that his prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as he is about to shoot.
  • As he cums you will also notice that his sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt.

3. What’s the best position to put the guy in to do this?

body as art5821Your man should be on his back, while you face him between his open legs. This gives you access to cock, balls and asshole.

4. Should a girl be worried about hurting her lover while playing with his prostate?

If you go slow and are gentle, there’s nothing to be concerned with. Don’t forget to ask for feedback. And if you want to know what he is feeling, finger your hole first.

5. In your experience as a sex therapist, do you find that straight men are wary of letting their female partners explore anal play?

Oh yeah, big time! Straight guy have it in their head that ass play is gay. I always respond that would be true if only the gays had prostates.

6. If so, how would you advise a woman to address or overcome any homophobic paranoia her partner might have in regards to anal play?

This is a very delicate issue. The best a woman can do is invite him to experience the new sensations. Anything more than that can backfire. If she is too insistent, or tries to shame him into it, the guy’s fears will quickly become a phobia.

7. In your experience, is male vulnerability a factor in anal play, and if so, is there anything a woman should do or say to psychologically care for her lover?

Oh yeah! Like I said above, ass play is often associated with gay sex. The best thing a woman can do is watch some hot butt sex porn with her man, where the dude is on the receiving end of things. These are called pegging vids. Then there are How To Videos like TRISTAN TAORMINO’S EXPERT GUIDE TO ANAL PLEASURE FOR MEN.  Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library for loads more titles.

Look for PART 2 of this series on Friday, October 10th.

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