Hey sex fans,
It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today. Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.
This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.
All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off. Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.
First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.
Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve —— $14.43
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11. I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men. It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.
I’m pretty much a manual masturbator. I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself. But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about. Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve. I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.
The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product. It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to. I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions. And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.
When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing. It’s turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it. Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.
The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it. And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect. So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis. I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin. Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head. It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock. But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.
The other end of the Sidekick is closed. That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice. Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis. This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles. I loved it!
There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that. Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all. This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands. I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing. The other issue is the size. It’s only 5.5” long. Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.
You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean. Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry. I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky. So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next we have a much more elaborate sleeve from The Adult Toy Shoppe folks.
Cyberskin Pocket Pussy —— $39.99
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat. Oh wait, he did! What luck for us!
I generally jerk off a couple of times a day. This amazes my partner, Denise. She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know. I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid. Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.
Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve. Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother? Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.
This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind. This stuff rocks! It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too. They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.
The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you. This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes. But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.
When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me. I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf. Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing. And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it. The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.
I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin. Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.
The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help. However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother. I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock. I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that. It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.
So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome. Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.
Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied. But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair. I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.
So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out. I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up. This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned. Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out. Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.
Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry. I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing. DAMN! After that, I decided to just let it air dry.
Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky. I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.” But what the fuck is “Renew”?
FULL REVIEW HERE
Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.
So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good thing come to those who wait”.
Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years. And because of that I convinced myself I knew everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?
Well, so much for baseless assumptions.
Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.
My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!
The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.
The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.
And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.
I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)
Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight!
FULL REVIEW HERE
Hey sex fans,
Here we are at Week 2 of this year’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide. And we have two outstanding items for you. One will, no doubt, be familiar to you. The other is an outstanding example of erotic art.
The Dr Dick Review Crew Members: Kevin & Gina and Jack & Karen are here with the lowdown.
First, an old favorite from Vibratex.
Hitachi Magic Wand —— $47.50
Jack & Karen
Karen: “You’re not gonna believe this, but on our way home from Dr Dick’s, after picking up the Hitachi Magic Wand as our review assignment. Jack and I started to talk about the first time we’d ever seen a Hitachi. Neither one of us knew of the others history with the Wand till that moment. As it turned out, both of us had a similar introduction to this incredible vibe.”
Jack: So we were driving home and I said I had used a Hitachi Magic Wand before. I told Karen that my mother had one when I was just a kid. I used to see my dad use it on his back from time to time. I never thought much of it till one day when I was home alone and had a little too much time on my hands. I couldn’t have been more than 12 years old at the time. I got the Hitachi from the cupboard, plugged it in and started running it all over my back, like I saw my dad do. I innocently slipped it between my legs. Holy shit, my little boy cock stood at attention till an almost painfully pleasurable thing happened only moments later. I came for the first time then and there. My skivvies were wet with something other than pee. I though I had hurt myself. I quickly put the Hitachi away and cleaned myself up; too afraid to tell anyone about the incident.”
Karen: “I have a similar story. My mother had a Hitachi too. She kept it in her bedside cabinet. I too was home alone one day; couldn’t have been more than 13; when I decided I’d see what this thing was all about. I remember watching TV and running the vibe all over my body. I put it to my cheek and it made my teeth rattle. I thought that was really funny. Absentmindedly, I ran it down over my chest. I had already developed boobs by that time. There was like electricity in my body that ran from my nipples to my crotch. I moved the Wand southward and BANG. I must have hit my clit through the jeans I was wearing. My knees buckled and the rest is history. I don’t think my mother ever knew how much I used her Hitachi. But let’s just say I nearly wore out the thing.”
Jack: “What more can we add to these stories. What does one say about an institution; a legend.”
Karen: “I wonder for the volumes that have been written about this, the granddaddy of all vibes, is it possible someone in our audience isn’t familiar with the Hitachi?”
Jack: “If there is actually someone out there who has been living under a rock for that past 20+ years, here’s the lowdown. The Hitachi is a very powerful 2-speed massager. It has a 2″ long by 2″ diameter padded, vinyl coated head, attached to a 9″ long heavy-duty plastic handle. And it is operated by electricity; so you have to plug it in. This is what makes it so damn powerful.”
Karen: “Absolutely, no other vibe, battery operated or rechargeable can even come close to the power of a Hitachi.”
Jack: “There’s nothing sleek or stylish about this thing. It’s pure function. I like to cradle it under my balls when I jerk off. I can feel the intense vibration all over my pelvis. It’s fantastic.”
Karen: “It’s loud too, but I don’t give a fuck. For as quickly as it gets me off, it could sound like Mack truck for all I care.”
Jack: “I can always tell when Karen is at her Hitachi. She always makes more noise then usual; and that’s saying something. Because this girl is a screamer.”
Karen: “I like to think of it as being expressive, not loud.”
Jack: “Whatever you call it it can wake the dead!”
Karen: “You do pretty good yourself, mister. When we want to terrorize the neighbors we both get out our Magic Wands, plug them in and go at it side by side. And I always get off first.”
Jack: “Never take a plug in toy like this near water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
The Heartbreaker —— $189.99
Kevin & Gina
Kevin: “What we saw first was this thick black velvet drawstring pouch. It is stately enough to carry the crown jewels.”
Gina: “And when we opened the pouch we saw the most magnificent textured glass insertable our eyes have ever seen. It is absolutely stunning. It stands 7” tall with a 1” diameter shaft. The tapered realistic looking head is only slightly larger. If that were all that was too it, it would be grand, but there’s more. The textures on the shaft are heart-shaped and, depending on the light look ruby red or a deep purple. These hearts are actually 24K gold. Can you believe that? No wonder it comes nestled in its thick protective pouch.”
Kevin: “Before we dared use The Heartbreaker we set it on a little pedestal in front of the hearth and watched the flames in the fireplace behind it dance through the glass. It was so fuckin trippy!”
Gina: “I broke the spell by suggesting we take The Heartbreaker to bed. Kevin couldn’t resist the offer so we tossed a coin to see who would get first crack at it.”
Kevin: “Gina always wins these coin tosses; I don’t even know why we continue to go through the motions. At any rate, while she got ready in the bathroom I busied myself with getting two bowels of water ready; one with ice, the other hot water. Once Gina was ready, I blindfolded her with a silk scarf. I began kissing her all over, biting her nipples, eatin her cunt. Once she was wet I dipped The Heartbreaker into the ice water and touched it to her pussy lips.”
Gina: “I thought I was going to go through the ceiling. The cold hardness took my breath away. Kevin fucked me with The Heartbreaker while he masturbated. I still was blindfolded but I could tell what he was doing by his rocking motion.”
Kevin: “After Gina came a couple of times, I tried the hot water treatment. This wasn’t as startling as the cold, but it worked its magic too.”
Gina: “Once I had had my fill it was Kevin’s turn. He hadn’t cum yet, so he was totally primed for my assault with The Heartbreaker. I wiped down the toy with one of our toy wipes (it can also be sterilized) and slipped The Heartbreaker into my strap-on harness. The glass dildo has a nice base on it that makes it perfect for use with a harness.”
Kevin: “Gina lubed my ass with our favorite silicone lube; put a drop or two on The Heartbreaker; and before I could say ‘bugger’, she was in me. The dildo’s head hit my prostate with a bang. The slightly curved and textured shaft added the perfect sensations to my ass lips. I was leaking precum like a faucet.”
Gina: “I wouldn’t let him masturbate, but would rub his penis with my hand as I pegged him. He begged for release.”
Kevin: “She has a fuckin sadistic streak a mile long.”
Gina: “When I finally got him off with my hand The Heartbreaker was deep inside him. He came with such force I practically got knocked over.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
We’re back with a slew of new reviews. The intrepid Dr Dick’s Review Crew tackles a mixed bag of treats.
Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Jada, Ken & Denise, Kevin and Jack & Karen. So without further ado…
We begin with a couple of new offerings from that gargantuan adult toy company, Doc Johnson. Here’s Jada to tell us about the first one.
Doc Johnson i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator —— $36.30
The very first vibe I ever owned was a rabbit vibrator. I got off on it in record time, every time. But it was such a wild looking contraption I never really warmed up to it.
Aesthetically speaking, there’s something about the “rabbit” doohickey that juts out from the vibe’s shaft that I find disturbing. Don’t get me wrong; I understand the reason it is there. For most women, clitoral stimulation is what gets us off. I’m guessing that the insertable shaft, which is, strangely enough, usually penis shaped, is a way we tip our hat to the male member, even though most of our vibrator use is by ourselves. Frankly, I’ve never really understood that. I just don’t know too many women who need a penis reminder when we’re masturbating.
This suggests to me that these designs originate in the male mind. I wish there was a way I could substantiate this.
Ok, so from the aesthetics point of view the i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t do a thing for me. But I won’t detract points on that account either. I review the toy on its merits.
Speaking of aesthetics; what I do like about this toy is its packaging. It’s a plastic clamshell that slips inside a frosted oval plastic sheath. It’s a very nice presentation that I find very attractive.
The i-Vibe Rabbit uses 4-AA batteries and they are not included in the package. DISAPPOINTED! The battery compartment is easy to use and it seals shut making the toy waterproof. That’s a big plus in my book.
The keypad controls are pretty intuitive, although I think they should be in the reverse position. Like I said, most women use a vibrator on themselves. Looking down on the keypad, while using it on myself I see the controls upside down.
There are two main utilities — clitoral tickler (the rabbit) and shaft vibration (which doesn’t really vibrate, rather it rotates the beads in the shaft as well as the penis shaped head). There are different speeds and three functions. Frankly, I think all this is overkill.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Next, Kevin introduces us to the other Doc Johnson product.
Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin —— $49.99
I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.
This here is the Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color. It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape. Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship. You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced. There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad. Because with a little more though behind this, the Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.
It is made of hard plastic. I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much. So I have no quarrel with the material used.
The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install. No batteries are included in the package, which sucks. And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit. I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.
Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed. The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that. It’s pretty quiet too.
The serious end of Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part. In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate. However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls. Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off. It gives you a nice little buzz. If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity. Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want. This will make the tapered end easier to insert. Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.
FULL REVIEW HERE
Jack & Karen tell us about a new Tristan Taormino video.
The Expert Guide to Anal Sex —— $29.95
Jack & Karen
Jack: “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right? I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen: “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack: “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen: “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”
Jack: “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time. I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen: “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack: “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review. It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen: “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners. International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing. There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack: “It is both super arousing and very informative. This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid. So you know it’s gonna be hot. Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal. What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end? Bummer.”
Karen: “That is so true! But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted. For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack: “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature. I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it. This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, let’s have a little fun with Ken & Denise and their parlor game. (This is a Good Vibrations Brand Ambassador review.)
Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion —— $16.95
Ken & Denise
Denise: “I love games, all kinds of games. I guess I’m just a party girl at heart.”
Ken: “I, on the other hand, think most games, especially parlor games are boring.”
Denise: “Yeah, but this one is different, because it’s like a sex game.”
Ken: “So we had two of our favorite couples over for dinner last week. We were all sufficiently socially lubricated, if ya catch my drift. We plunked ourselves down in front of the fire for a little postprandial toke, when little Mary sunshine over here hauls out the Truth or Dare game!”
Denise: “What a better time for a little fun?”
Ken: “I’m thinkin’ ‘oh god, do we have to?’ But our friends who are green with envy over our gig on Dr Dick’s Review Crew were like, ‘cool, let’s do this!’”
Denise: “Luckily, considering the condition we were all in, the game is super simple. There’s one die that you roll and two stacks of cards — one marked Truth, the other marked Dare.”
Ken: “The die has Truth or Dare on six of the eight sides. The other two sides have the word ‘Wild’ on it. If you roll that, you get to choose either a Truth or Dare card. Then you can either do the thing yourself or order your partner to perform the task, or you can pass.”
Denise: “We all got increasingly silly as the game wore on. If you choose a Truth card, it may read, ‘If you could watch an intimate moment from your partner’s life before your met, what would that be?’ ‘Would you ever buy a private lap dance for your partner?’ ‘What authority figure possesses the most erotic possibilities for you?’ ‘What sensual characteristic or ability do you envy in the opposite sex?’”
Ken: “The Dare” cards are equally innocuous; however, they often involve props — computers, whipped cream, makeup, etc. ‘You are the subject of an impromptu erotic photo shoot. You partner will be the photographer…’ ‘Perform a seductive and enticing striptease to the music of your choice.’ ‘Create a bondage costume using nothing but plastic wrap!’ You get the idea.”
FULL REVIEW HERE