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The Prostate Toy Interview

Hey sex fans,

This being Friday and all, you’re probably expecting a product review. Well sorry to disappoint, but the entire Dr Dick Review Crew is still working their naughty bits to the bone, so to speak, so we’ll have to wait on posting new reviews till another day.

But not to worry, because I have something else that’s charming and delightful for you. Keeping with the sex toy theme I offer you this interview I did with a leading toy company. I figure if the toy company was interested in my thoughts, perhaps you, my dear readers, would be too.

1. Hey Dr Dick, you look like a rather wholesome gentleman, what prompted you to become a Sexologist?

Wholesome? Looks are so deceiving, aren’t they?

I came to this work in a most unorthodox fashion. It is certainly not something I ever aspired to do.

I was a Catholic priest at the time. I was ordained in 1975. (I am the only Catholic priest in the world with a doctorate in Clinical Sexology.) In 1981 I completed my post-graduate work with the publication of my doctoral thesis concerning the sexual attitudes and behaviors of gay Catholic priests in the active ministry. This was unprecedented research back then (and even now, for that matter). There was a firestorm of international publicity. I was soon to be known as “The Gay Priest”. (Yeah, like if I was the only one.) Needless to say, this notoriety (some say infamy) effectively ended my public priesthood. I fought the Vatican for the next 15 years, from 1981-1996, in an attempt to salvage my ministry, but in the end it was a lost cause. No surprise there, I suppose.

My career as a therapist in San Francisco coincided with the advent of HIV/AIDS (1981). My practice evolved into working primarily with sick, elder and dying people. In the mid-90’s I founded a nonprofit organization, PARADIGM, Enhancing Life Near Death. It was an outreach for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder and dying people. This was brilliant cutting-edge work. Alas, I couldn’t find the proper funding to continue. This precipitated a rather sudden move to Seattle in 1999.

I continued to work with sick and dying people here, in Seattle. I started to develop programming for women newly diagnosed with ovarian cancer and men with prostate cancer. I wanted to create videos for people experiencing life threatening and/or disfiguring illnesses to help them deal with reintegrating sex and intimacy into their lives post diagnosis. I soon realized that I would need to fund these projects on my own. No mainline foundation would touch the issue of sex. Faced with how I might do that, some friends prevailed on me to shoot porn. The rational was; I would make loads of money and I could then subsidize my heart’s desire. Thus Daddy Oohhh! Productions was born.

Unfortunately, the “load of money” part never materialized. But at the time, I figured that, since I was actually shooting porn, I would create projects that were different in style and tone from what currently ruled the marketplace. The Daddy Oohhh line features a whole lot more romance, allure and seduction rather than just bumping parts.

2. What are the most common issues you come across during your workshops and counseling?

I continue to be surprised by how few people actually believe there is an essential goodness to sexuality, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.

I see so much unhappiness and anxiety when a person’s sex-negative attitudes alienate them from their own body and the bodies of others. These uninformed attitudes affect not only a person’s sex life, but also his/her ability to relate well with others.

I believe that sexual wellbeing is more than simply being able to perform. It also means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of one’s personality and involvement with others. Between the extremes of total sexual repression and relentless sexual pursuit, a person can find that unique place, where he/she is free to live a life of self-respect, enjoyment and love.

My workshops and counseling practice aim is to provide information and guidance to help people approach their unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner, as well as further their independent growth, personal integrity, and have a more joyful experience of living.

3. Everyone seems to be aware of the female G-spot. However, the male equivalent, the P-spot, is shrouded in mystery and taboo. Would you mind explaining what that’s all about?

You’ll excuse me for being contrary, but it is my personal crusade to dissuade people from using the term “male G-Spot”.

Frankly, I don’t see a rationale for talking about the prostate as if it were something akin to the female G-spot. Because that’s like saying a clit is a female penis. And to tell you the truth; I even have difficulty with the overly cutesy term, “P-Spot”.

The G-spot got its moniker because folks couldn’t remember its proper name, the Grafenberg Spot. (It was named after the physician who first wrote about it.) But we don’t need that kind of shorthand for the word prostate, do we? I certainly hope not.

If the prostate is indeed shrouded in mystery and taboo, as you suggest, it’s likely because it’s buried inside a guy’s ass. And our culture is pretty ass-phobic.

Luckily, I see all of this changing. More and more men are discovering a pleasure zone they’ve not known before. And thanks to the growing number prostate-related sex toys in the marketplace this self-discovery can be fun as well as informative.

4. What can men do to enjoy this little gland?

• First, cut and file smooth your fingernails. And before you start playing with your hole, relax.
• Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to help you do that.
• Have a ready supply of a water-based or silicone-based lube handy.
• Start with a nice hand job. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand to get yourself into your happy place.
• Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint (perineum). While your legs are open find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your finger in just yet. Simply let this time be for getting used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
• Next, let your play include the tip of your middle finger entering your ass.
• If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
• Once you’re comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Then try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
• Once your finger is about an inch or so inside your ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the upper wall of your rectum. You’ll discover a firm, round and flat surface the size of a walnut. This is your prostate. You can only feel this small part of the whole gland, but you will know it when you touch it. It is full of delicious nerve endings and it will give you jolt of pleasure.
• Remember, your prostate shouldn’t be hard to find, particularly if you’re all horned up from pullin’ your pud. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
• Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you’re still stroking your cock, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you off. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes firmer just as you are about to shoot your load.
• As you cum you will also notice that your ass-sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt. How fun is that?

5. If you enjoy prostate stimulation, does that make you gay?

It certainly would if only gay men had prostates.

6. Is there a difference between a prostate orgasm and a penile orgasm?

Technically, I suppose there is.

Clearly some men do get off on prostate stimulation alone. However, an orgasm (not the same thing as an ejaculation, mind you) is a complex physiological — muscular and neurological — response. Just like our genitals are a composite of parts that work together to bring us joy; so too are our orgasms.

Finding and massaging your prostate is a wonderful thing. But there’s one thing for certain; your prostate has been involved in your orgasmic response from the very beginning, long before you discovered it.

7. Are there any health benefits to prostate stimulation?

Yeah, you betcha! It’s fun, it’s healthful and it’s sexually enriching.

Massaging your prostate stimulates blood flow and that brings more oxygen to your prostate. Unwanted bacteria that grow in your prostate can be removed more efficiently through massage. Fat and proteins can also accumulate over time, which can cause infection or even lead to tumor growth if not flushed from time to time. Massaging your prostate can assist with this.

Studies show that a prostate massage is an effective means of keeping your prostate healthy without the use of pharmaceuticals or resorting to surgery. And of course it also helps a guy become less cock-centric and less ass-phobic. So it’s a win/win situation.

8. Are there any dangers?

Not really. Just remember to use lots of lube, because your asshole doesn’t create its own lubrication. Always start off slowly. And don’t put anything in your bum that isn’t designed for that purpose. All anal toys — massagers, vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, dildos and the like — must have a handle on them and/or an oversized base that will prevent the toy from accidentally slipping up into your ass.

9. Finally, do you have any wise words for our prostate loving readers?

Once you’ve discovered the joys of prostate stimulation on your own, why not invite your partner(s) to join in the fun. And always use quality toys. Choose nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free materials. Waterproof toys are also highly recommended. Because keeping your toys clean and sanitized is a real big part of enjoying your or someone else’s prostate.

And they’re off!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday once again and today we have two very delightful toys to tell you about. Because the two toys come from different retailers, I will be introducing each in turn.

First up is a fun new product for a couple to enjoy. It comes to us from our new friends at The Adult Toy Shoppe.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie, does the honors.

Erotic Enhancer Bunny —— $21.99

Angie
I am so delighted to find a toy that both my husband and I can enjoy while we are enjoying one each other. I think that even though the is a plethora of vibrating toys on the market, few are actually designed to be enjoyed by a couple during intercourse. Dildos, particularly the ones that have the shape of a penis are wonderful for solo play, but they can get in the way, both literally and figuratively, when a couple plays together. This is the case with my husband. He, like most men, is put off by sex toys that have a realistic shape. I suppose I don’t blame him. I’m sure that if the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak, I wouldn’t welcome a sex toy that realistically looks like a woman’s parts in our play together.

At the same time, I need clitoral stimulation if I am going to be orgasmic. This is particularly true during intercourse. So the problem has always been, how do I get the clitoral stimulation I need during intercourse without the use of a traditional clunky, intrusive and noisy vibrator?

Allow me to introduce you to the Erotic Enhancer Bunny. It’s a bunny-shaped cockring that vibrates. How fun and creative!

The Erotic Enhancer Bunny is made of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber). It’s a phthalate free material that is both soft and stretchy but also durable. I see nothing on the package that says it’s latex free, so those with a latex allergy should beware.

There is a multispeed bullet vibe in the head of the bunny that is powered by 3 mini batteries, you know the flat kind. The manufacturer thoughtfully included the first set in the package. Thank you very much! You adjust the speed and turn the vibe on and off by using the dial on the vibrator. The bullet is easily removed making the bunny-shaped cockring a breeze to clean. More about that in a moment.

I love the fact that the Erotic Enhancer Bunny is waterproof. And that it transforms my husband’s beautiful penis into a rabbit vibe. I couldn’t be happier.

The whole thing is pretty discreet. It measures 1.75 inches across and 3.25 inches tall. My husband says that the ring is mighty snug on him. He found it uncomfortable after 20 minutes. That was long enough for me, but he specifically asked me to tell you that the Erotic Enhancer Bunny is designed for use by a man with a small to medium endowment. Ok, I defer to him on this. I suppose that’s a problem with a one size fits all concept.
Full Review HERE!

Next we hear from Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck. They are going to introduce you to kinky little setup from the newest retailer to join our review family. Join with me in welcoming TheirToys.com a nice place to shop for Adult Toys.

Cockring and Leash Set —— $29.95

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “The Cockring and Leash Set came to us just in time for Halloween. And we put it to very good use.”
Chuck: “Yeah, but it’s not just a Halloween gimmick now, is it?”
Mick: “Right! You can use the Cockring and Leash Set Set any day of the year — Christmas, New Years Eve, Valentines Day, Arbor Day, the 4th of July, your pervy boyfriend’s birthday, whatever.”
Chuck: “Ok, I see you’ve decided to be a little wacky today.”
Mick: “The Cockring and Leash Set is such a fun and kinky setup; I think a little wacky is in order, don’t you?”
Chuck: “I guess you’re right. So let’s get on with telling our audience what the Cockring and Leash Set is, ok?”
Mick: “Sure! It’s pretty simple actually. There are two parts. First, there’s an adjustable black leather cockring, or strap, if you prefer. There is a D-ring on the strap to which you hook on the fine metal leash. The metal leash has a black leather loop grip.”
Chuck: “The Cockring and Leash Set is a KinkLab product, so you know it’s gonna be good.”
Mick: “Oh yeah! Listen, if you’re interested in buying a kinky product like this, even if you are new to kink; spare yourself the disappointment of buying any of the crap that is floating around out there. We’ve see more than our share of that shit here at the Review Crew. If you want quality, look for a quality brand, like KinkLab.”
Chuck: “Right on! So I was saying that we had a ball with this Cockring and Leash Set for Halloween, right? Well, here’s how it went down. We were invited to a totally tripped out party that we knew would surely turn into an orgy before the night was through.”
Mick: “And we were not disappointed. Chuck dared me to wear the cock strap under this flimsy rawhide loincloth, which was pretty much the totality of my costume.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

A Whole Lot Of Wonderful!

Hey sex fans,

One of the real treasures of the Pacific Northwest is the marvelous Center for Sex Positive Culture right here in the Emerald City. The Center and its parent foundation offer events like workshops and discussion groups that are open to anyone 18+. You don’t need to be a member of the Center to attend. And many events are free! Visit them on their website HERE!

So ya know how they say that good things come in threes? Well this is particularly true this month. And I am proud to bring you a little taste of what’s in store for you and me at The Center. Check out this outstanding lineup of upcoming events.

The Feminine Fountain: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

This coming Friday, October 22, 2010
8:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Annex
$35 (members receive $10 voucher for the WERK lounge that night)

Join female ejaculation expert and author, Deborah Sundahl, for this amazing workshop. She is a female ejaculation pioneer. Her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, and her video line titled: The Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series, draw on her 22 years experience, research, and instruction on this important topic of female sexuality. Come benefit from her wisdom.

Learn about female ejaculation’s ancient history, current scientific studies, where the G-spot is located, how to have a G-spot orgasm, and how to get this wonderful feminine fountain flowing! Open to both men and women, Deborah’s Power Point lecture with pictures, movie clips and Q&A will tell you all you need to know about female ejaculation and the G-spot.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

An Intimate Evening with Author Christopher Ryan

Sunday, October 24
6:00 PM to 8:00 PM
Main Space
$10-25 sliding scale (no one will be turned away)

Co-author of Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan, will make a special appearance at The Center to talk about sex and nonmonogamy, and sex and hunters and gathers, and sex and penises, and sex and orgasms, and well sex, sex and more sex. Sex at Dawn is the book everyone is talking about; it’s the book that is turning sexual scholarship on its head.

I’ll be there, so look for me and say hi.

Be sure to bring your copy of Sex at Dawn for Christopher to sign. Don’t have a copy yet? Not to worry; The Center will have books for sale.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

Kinky Carnival Returns

October 29, 2010
7pm until midnight
$25 advance/$30 door/$100 Gold VIP

Ya wanna start your Halloween weekend off with a bang? I thought so! Well I have just the thing for you. The sixth annual Kinky Carnival is heading your way.

Imagine an event where you can sample a load of delightfully edgy sex stuff. The Kinky Carnival is designed for those who are new to sex-positivity and BDSM. It offers a way for you to realize your fantasies at an easy pace and in a safe space. The Carnival will feature the “Ask” booth, where attendees are invited to ask questions about the activities they see. Other booths include “Zap”, “Pierce”, “Submit”, “Sensation”, “Flog”, “Rub”, “Mmm”, and “Ground”.

If you’re a budding pervert, or you’d like to be, or know someone who is, this evening is made for you. Costumes are welcomed, but not required.

For more information on this event, click HERE! For tickets, click HERE!

Keep It Clean

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we have some clever items from Empire Labs to tell you about.  This is the second batch of their product reviews. You can see the first batch HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew members Jada and Jack & Karen are today’s presenters.

Body Spa Vibrating Foam Sponge —— $ 19.95

Jada
How very delightful! That was the first thought that came to mind when I was handed the Body Spa Vibrating Foam Sponge. But, as sometimes happens, the concept doesn’t always live up to the expectation. So I decided to take a “wait and see” attitude before I got too emotionally involved with this product.

The sweet minimalist packaging is truly refreshing. It hits all the right notes. The Body Spa Vibrating Foam Sponge package is clean, tasteful and wouldn’t be out of place in even a high-end spa boutique. Inside the package is a teardrop shaped natural sponge about the size of my hand. It is featherweight, just as you would expect from a natural sponge. And hidden inside is a small but powerful bullet vibe.

I could feel the vibe when I scrunched the sponge and with a little fiddling I found the “on” button. I was running a bath for myself at the time and I caught myself in the mirror smiling a Cheshire Cat grin. Oh yes, I thought, this will do nicely.

The promotional blurb for the Body Spa Vibrating Foam Sponge reads in part: “You never knew getting clean could be so dirty! Leave it in your shower; this discreet sponge completely hides the vibrator inside. No need to “de-toy” before guests show up!” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Once I was comfortably settled in my steamy and foamy bath I reached for the Body Spa Vibrating Foam Sponge. The vibrations in this thing are surprisingly strong and exceptionally quiet. As I rubbed myself with the soapy sponge the vibration made me tingle. I have other waterproof vibes that I use in my bath from time to time, but none of the others help me clean and exfoliate my skin while they pleasure me. I think I’m in heaven.
Full Review HERE

Tongue Vibe Dual Pack —— $34.95

Jack & Karen
Jack: “We have two different, but very similar vibes to tell you about today. And we’ll do them one at a time, if you don’t mind.”
Karen: “First up we have the Tongue Vibe Dual Pack. The rather garish and oversized plastic packaging contains a smaller, compact-sized plastic flip-top case that contains two Tongue Vibes already loaded with batteries (thank you very much!) and four extra batteries. Extra points for this thoughtful gesture, for sure.”
Jack: “The vibes are phthalate-free, latex-free and hypoallergenic, or so reads the package. However, I have to wonder since the little plastic bullet vibes are encased in a jelly material. But let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. Each vibe also has a finger/cock/tongue strap. Both vibes are ribbed and glow in the dark. How fun is that?”
Karen: “Each Tongue Vibe has two speeds. Neither speed will knock your socks off. And I found trying to adjust the speed control on such a tiny vibe to be a bit disconcerting. I would have much preferred a stronger single speed vibe.”
Jack: “Ya know what these things remind me of? Hearing aids! Everything about the package, vibes and batteries remind me of that. Which just goes to show you how discreet these little things are.”
Karen: “Since there are two vibes in the package, we each got one to play with. Jack got the blue one, because he’s a boy. I got the pink one, because I’m a girl.”
Jack: “I promptly broke mine. I know; I couldn’t believe it either. I think my big clumsy man fingers were too much for the delicate little speed control. Sorry!”
Karen: “I tried putting my vibe on my tongue using the strap like the picture on the package. It wasn’t particularly comfortable and it kept slipping off. Here’s another thing. I couldn’t get over the feeling that I could accidentally swallow the vibe and have it lodge in my throat. That disturbing thought was a real buzz kill. I realize there was little chance of that happening, because of the strap, but still. Also, having Jack’s penis in my mouth and the vibe was way too much.”
Full Review HERE

Finger Vibe Dual-Speed —— $9.95

Jack & Karen
Jack: “Let’s move on to the other vibe.”
Karen: “This is the Finger Vibe Dual-Speed. Happily it comes in a small package — a bubble on a card actually. It is already loaded with batteries. Again, we really appreciate the that thoughtfulness.”
Jack: “It is exactly the same blue vibe that comes with the Tongue Vibe Dual Pack. However, this vibe is encased in a nubbed jelly casing. I have the same reservations about it being phthalate-free as I did with the Tongue Vibe, but I’ll let that go for now. This vibe comes with a little finger strap. The vibe is ribbed and glow in the dark.”
Karen: “Like the Tongue Vibe, the Finger Vibe has two speeds. Neither speed will blow your mind. Adjusting the speed using the tiny control mechanism is a very delicate operation. Please be careful; it can easily break.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

A Labor of Love Q&A Show — Podcast #228 — 09/06/10

Hey sex fans,

It’s another holiday weekend here in the good old USofA. And despite the fact that so many of you are enjoying a well-deserved break from your labors; I am at my post here in front of this blasted microphone. I took a break from podcasting the past couple weeks so that I could work on the redesign of my sites. And of course, I gotta catch up on all the questions that have been piling up since our last Q&A session back in early July. There is no rest for the wicked!

Before we get to today’s questions, I want to call your attention to the new redesign of my two primary websites — drdicksexadvice.com and drdicksextoyreviews.com.

As you’ve probably noticed, both sites now mirror one another, at least in terms of presentation and functionality. The old blog format is out; and a brand-spankin-new magazine format is in. Everything is bright, cheery, clean and sleek. All the functions of the old sites — search-ability, the Links, the Categories, the Sponsors and the Tags are still in place. But the new magazine format allows visitors to quickly scan a thumbnail image and a blurb for each posting without having to scroll through the whole blasted posting to get to the next one. There is also a Headline posting and a handful of Featured postings. Now you can see several weeks of postings by just scrolling down a page.

There are other new features too. I decided to use a bunch of icons — a blue heart for Donate to Dr. Dick; a blue envelope for Ask an Anonymous Sex Question; and a blue telephone icon for the Toll Free — Voicemail — HOTLINE. There is a blue movie projector icon that designates the presence of a video in the posting. And Special Announcements are designated by a red and white “special announcement” icon.

The top navigation has been simplified too. You can toggle between the two sites effortlessly. If you are on the ADVICE site, click on Toy Reviews in the header. If you are on the REVIEW site, click on Sex Advice With An Edge. It’s that simple.

Dr Dick’s Stockroom and Dr Dick’s How To Video Library now have their own banner in the sidebar.

I hope you like all the new changes. And as always, your thoughts and comments are welcome.

Today we hear from:

  • Scott Daddy tells us about his new videos posted HERE.
  • Brennen is off his antidepressant and he’s having trouble with his wood.
  • Marcus wants to know about nipple enlargement.
  • Kimberly thinks her man might like some ass play.
  • Ali wants two more inches…guess where.
  • Jade is all hot and bothered.
  • Luke is using penis extenders and he and his wife love it.
  • Abigail wants to make her own sex toys.
  • Kevin wants to know if it’s safe to spooge on a pussy not in it.
  • Jennifer has been gettin plowed deep and heavy; now there’s a problem.
  • Craig is worried about being a dirty fuck.
  • Patrick thinks his “lace curtains” are too long.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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