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The Naughty & The Nice

Just in time for the holidays, here’s my Naughty and Nice list.

NICE

NAUGHTY

NICELY NAUGHTY

Happy Holidays!

Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Real Thing, Baby!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and we have a brand spankin’ new product designed to titillate your lady parts. Hurrah! And here to tell us all about it is Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie.

Sqweel 2 —— $62.70

Joy: “What we have here is the Sqweel 2, which is the second incarnation of this product made by LoveHoney. Dixie and I actually shelled out our hard-earned cash to purchase one for ourselves.”
Dixie: “Yeah, one of our girlfriends said she had one and loved it. The Sqweel 2 is supposed to simulate oral sex for a woman. Got me to thinkin’; the person who designed this thing couldn’t have been a woman, or if it was, no one ever ate out her pussy properly.”
Joy: “Damn straight! Pardon the pun. Dr Dick keeps referring to me as his Go-To Gal for all things pussy related. Apparently the good Dr doesn’t have a pussy of his own. Pity! But I digress. Any woman who’s received some excellent head will know in a matter of seconds that the Sqweel 2 is not the moral equivalent of excellent muff diving.”
Dixie: “All I could do when I tried the Sqweel 2 is think of that 1968 hit single by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell — Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Real Thing, Baby!”
Joy: “That’s funny. Don’t get us wrong, the Sqweel 2 isn’t a bad product, by any means. It offers some very interesting sensations and they are a nice change from the buzz of a vibrator. My quarrel is with them saying it simulates oral sex. Eating out at the Y is way more complex than a repetitive lapping motion, get it? And imagine of some clueless straight guy saw this thing. What kind of message would he be getting about cunnilinsus?”
Dixie: “The Sqweel 2 looks like it’s gonna be way more fun than it actually is. It’s more of a tease. The working part of this thing is a wheel of “tongues” made of silicone. You absolutely will need to use some lube with this, because the tongues will drag without. And since the tongues are silicone, you’ll need a water-based lube. A silicone-based lube will degrade the beautiful finish of the wheel of tongues. It’s powered by three AAA batteries, which are not included in the package.”
Joy: “The Sqweel 2 can be applied to your clitoris, nipples, or any other external area of the body. But unless you are one of those women who gets off with a feather touch, the Sqweel 2, as Dixie mentioned, will only tease.”
Dixie: “I’ll admit, my clit has been around the block a time or six; I need my clit toys to take charge down there. This one was maddening. Applying even the slightest pressure stops the wheel completely. DISAPPOINTED!”
Joy: “There are two main controls to the Sqweel 2: an on/off/speed control button and a direction button. There are three speeds. Pressing the direction button will reverse the direction of the tongues. And pressing it again will make the tongues go back and forth. Be sure to use the locking switch above the main controls to lock the plastic cover over the tongues so it doesn’t pop off, which allows the wheel to fall off. This happened to me. I was not amused.”
Dixie: “You grip the Sqweel 2 on its bottom and you point the tongues toward your clit or wherever else you might want the stimulation. However, it is much easier to use on someone else than it is to use on yourself.”
Joy: “To clean, you remove the wheel, which is very simple to do. Clean the tongues in warm soapy water and let it air dry. You also have to clean the outside and inside of the housing. Unfortunately, the Sqweel 2 isn’t waterproof, so you can’t submerge it, which would be the optimum solution to the chore of cleaning up.”
Dixie: “Neither one of us can honestly recommend the Sqweel 2. To give the manufacturer its due, it’s a clever idea. It is just not executed very well.”
Full Review HERE!
ENJOY!

Take Me To Paradise

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday! And today’s edition comes with a distinct international flair. We are proud to welcome a new company to our review effort, Rianne S. This remarkable company and their beautiful products come to us all the way from Belgium.

The Rianne S website claims “(Our) products combine sexuality, style and intelligence, which above all deliver the desirable results. The products are simple to use and easy to incorporate into sexual play and also beautiful and fashionably classic.” Well, we’ll just see about that.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Denise and Ken are here to see if today’s product lives up to the hype.

Matryoshka —— $119.95

Ken & Denise
Denise: “I’m in heaven! I’m floating on a cloud of pleasure. Ken and I are enjoying the afterglow of some amazing lovemaking. But I knew this was going to happen even before it began. Thank you Matryoshka!”
Ken: “I took more of a wait-and-see attitude. But I was at a strict disadvantage, because Denise had some private time with the Matryoshka before we all had an opportunity to play together.”
Denise: “Yes, that’s where the story starts. Today’s sexual bliss for us actually began a couple of weeks ago. I stopped by Dr Dick’s to pick up our new product to review.”
Ken: “When Denise told me about the Matryoshka I realized I had heard that word before. It took me a moment, but I soon remembered; a matryoshka is a Russian nesting doll. This, of course made sense once I saw the vibe out of its package. It’s small and discreet and is shaped like…yuo guested it… one of those dolls.”
Denise: “I guess I’d say that the Matryoshka is primarily a clitoral vibrator. But it’s rounded head can be used anywhere on your body for area-specific stimulation. It’s perfect for nipples, labia, inner thighs, perineum and anus. While it can be inserted, it’s diminutive size doesn’t allow for any real depth of insertion. It’s only 3.25″ high with about 1.5″ insertable length. The broad base makes it easy to grip during use.”
Ken: “The Matryoshka is perfect for couple’s play, but I think I’m getting ahead of the story.’”
Denise: “Yeah, let’s tell them about what it’s made of and how it operates first.”
Ken: “The Matryoshka is covered in 100% high quality silicone, which is nonporous, phthalate-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It is exceptionally soft and smooth. There is no texture to it. It is velvety to the touch. The letters “RS” are raised on the body near the control buttons. And because it is silicone, be sure to use only a water-based lube with it. A silicone-based lube would mar the beautiful finish.”
Denise: “Two raised buttons just below the neck of the Matryoshka operate the vibe. The buttons are easy to press, but not so easily that you’ll press them accidentally while you’re using it. Either button will turn it on. To turn it off, press either button for three seconds. To lock, press both buttons down for five seconds. To unlock, do the same. You can cycle through the power settings, by pressing the double circle button. To cycle through the vibration patterns, press the other button.”
Ken: “There are five speeds (intensities) and five vibration patterns (if you count the constant vibration as a pattern). The vibrations are focused in the tip of the Matryoshka and you can feel them throughout the head of the toy. There is virtually no vibration in base, thus your hand won’t numb or vibrate as you hold it. And the Matryoshka is super quiet.”
Denise: “The Matryoshka is waterproof. Since the charger works magnetically there’s no charger port for water or lube to get inside the toy. This gets me to my first date with the Matryoshka. We were alone, in the bath. I saw stars!
Ken: “The Matryoshka recharges its lithium ion battery by sitting on its recharger dock, which doubles as a discreet storage compartment. This is mighty cool stuff. Oh, it also comes with a drawstring bag storage bag, which makes it perfect for traveling.”
Denise: “A word about the beautiful packaging. The Matryoshka comes in an understated purple box. Inside the box you’ll find the charging/storage cylinder, the users manual, warranty, charger, pouch, and adapters for the US, Europe, Australia, and UK. There’s also a beautiful booklet with information on Rianne S. All the packaging is recyclable. Kudos!”
Ken: “So Denise love the Matryoshka in the bath and she loved it for her self-pleasuring, but the real test for us would be in partnered play. And here too the Matryoshka excelled. It’s powerful enough to deliver real pleasure, but small enough as to not get in the way when we fuck.”
Complete Article HERE!
ENJOY

Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we feature the third of three products that came to us from the marvelous Israeli company, Joya. If you somehow missed the first two of our reviews you can find the first one HERE! And the second one HERE!

Today we hear from Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin & Gina.

Sphere Intimate Massager —— $73.68

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We were lucky to score the last of three Joya toys sent to us for review. We eagerly read the reviews our fellow Dr Dick Review Crew members, Christa and Angie, posted — the Little Su Tulip and the Little Su Natural in anticipation of our turn at bat.”
Kevin: “What is so fascinating about these three Joya toys is that they are all so very distinct. The Little Su Tulip and the Little Su Natural are insertables. Our toy, the Sphere, is designed for external use. And more than that, it’s actually two separate vibes. It’s a kind of his/her, or his/his, or her/her sorta deal.”
Gina: “The yin-yang shaped massagers come nestled together in one sleek acrylic storage case. Each vibe offers 5 surprisingly strong discreetly quiet modes. The white half offers 5 graduating speeds while the black half offers 5 unique pulsation modes. You can use them together or one at a time. Or you can use one and your partner can use the other. You can mix and match to your heart’s delight. What a clever concept!”
Kevin: “Each side of the toy takes 2 AAA batteries. The batteries are not included in the package. So be sure you have the proper number and size of batteries on hand or you won’t be able to play with the Sphere as soon as you get it. And that would be a crying shame.”
Gina: “The yin-yang shape of the Sphere makes it very comfortable to hold. The curved shape make it ideal for massaging my breasts, neck, and it nestles very nicely against my vulva.”
Kevin: “I could say the same thing. I used my half of the Sphere on my nipples, taint (perineum), cock and balls. I saw Gina using it on her neck, so I followed her lead. Very Nice! But I think I preferred it on my nuts, but maybe that’s just a guy thing.”
Gina: “The Sphere is made from premium-grade nonporous nontoxic and hypoallergenic ABS plastic. Both pieces are waterproof, so they’re very easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. And you can use any kind of lube you want. We’re partial to silicone-based lubes, but water-based lubes work fine too.”
Kevin: “Each side of the Sphere measures 4.85″ x 2.5′ x 1.4″. Each features an easy to find and operate button, which powers up the vibe. Continue to depress the button and it will browse through the vibration modes and speeds.”
Gina: “The battery compartment is located in the widest part of each side of the Sphere. It’s easy to open and locks securely into place making it, as I already mentioned, waterproof. I know Kevin has played with his half in the shower and I certainly played with my half in the bath. We’ve decided to make a date for some mutual bath time where we intend to reunite the Sphere for some outstanding watery partnered play.”
Kevin: “I discovered there’s a hands-free way to use the Sphere too. I kind of straddled one half of the toy while it’s perched on a cushion. I positioned it so that the pointy part hit on my taint or my asshole. This made the wider part nuzzle my nuts. I loved it.”
Gina: “I watched Kevin do this and followed suit. I rocked against my half of the toy while the pointy end was on my perineum and the wider part between my labia. YUMMY!”
Kevin: “See, you can be creative like this with the Sphere.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Is she is, or is she ain’t

Name: Ulrich
Gender: male
Age: 22
Location: Hannover, GR
How do I know my girlfriend isn’t faking it? She looks like she’s into it, but sometimes it looks like too much drama.

Too much drama, I love it! I’m gonna assume that you’re talking about what appears to be her throws of pleasure — screaming, moaning and thrashing about, just like in the porno movies. I’m not sure I know why woman fake it, men sure as hell don’t go out of their way put on a show if their heart and dick ain’t in it. But women often do and sometimes even us benighted men think something’s fishy…so to speak.

Maybe the question you are asking, Ulli, might stem from a concern you have about your own skill as a lover. I suppose the most obvious reason a woman fakes an orgasm is to massage the ego of the guy who is putting it to her. I suppose it’s the path of least resistance after all. It’s easier to fake it then be honest with her lover about his sexual prowess. Of course there’s always the possibility that the woman in question is pre-orgasmic — that she’s never had an orgasm so she may think that this is how it’s done. How sad is that?

You know how there’s little mystery about a dude’s pleasure — he gets it up, he gets it on and he gets it off — pretty cut and dried. And there’s often the evidence of his pleasure in the form of a pool of his own jizz. Although I hasten to add that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm, but it is rare to have an ejaculation that isn’t somewhat pleasurable.

A chick is very different, don’t ‘cha know. Her sexual organs and arousal are mostly internal. So unless she’s a squirter (a g-spot ejaculation that is) there’s only circumstantial evidence that she is being pleasured. I guess that’s why so many women make all that “drama.” It’s to compensate for not having anything as obvious as a hardon and a puddle of spooge. Of course the drama could also be a way of throwing us boys off the scent…so to speak.

However, there are things you can look for that may indicate your partner is enjoying herself. Knowing something about the female sexual response cycle will, no doubt, be very helpful here. If you don’t know your way around this phenomenon, I’d suggest that you have some remedial study to do.

Again, the male sexual response cycle is pretty obvious — he gets wood. For a woman the analogous response is she gets wet. If your lady has a wet pussy, you may be on the right track. Of course lots of women don’t lubricate all that much, so you might not want to rely on this evidence alone. In this instance you might look for the secondary signs of arousal – these are pretty much the same in both women and men. Our pupils may dilate, our skin may flush, our nipples may erect, our breathing may increase to a pant, our heart rate will defiantly increase and our toes might curl. Not all of these will happen every time to every person, but you get the drift, right?

In terms of the big “O” men and women differ in many respects, but there are some commonalities. Both women and men can have “mini orgasms” as well as “major” screamin’ memes. Us men folk tend not to pay too much attention to the little tremors, because we know the big one is coming. Women, on the other hand, have less certainty that the big “O” will show up, so they tend to be more aware of the mini ones. Regardless of the gender a good portion of an orgasm’s physiologic response is the same in all of us. Muscle contractions, specifically the PC (pubococcygeus muscle) in both women and men and vaginal and uterine muscles in women signal orgasm. Everything else— the writhing, the shuddering, the fluttering of the eyes and the moans of delight — is gravy.

If the chick you’re bumping has a wild orgasm every single time, I think she’s faking it. If she cums no matter what you’re doing to her, I think she’s faking it. If she sounds like a cheap porn flick, I think she’s faking it. If she’s still doin’ the “oh yeah baby, you’re the best…make momma scream,” long after you stopped doin whatever you were doin’. I think she’s faking it. If she carrying on, yet looking over at the television or the clock, then I think she’s faking it. If there’s no afterglow after a big “O”, I’ll bet she faking it.

If you think you’re with a faker, you might just want to tell her that she doesn’t need to put on a show for you. On the contrary, you both would be better served with a little honesty. Ask her for some feedback; what’s working, what’s not. Oh, and if you think the chick you’re with is gonna cum as fast as you, you don’t know your way around a pussy.

And here’s another thing you should know; most women don’t come from fucking alone. So if you think you got a magic wand in your pants, you are sadly mistaken. If you’re not using your hands and mouth as well as your willie; she’ll likely fake it.

And finally, if you can’t locate her clit to save your life, you can count on her faking it.

Good luck

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