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Kink for Yuppies

Hey sex fans!

It’s another Product Review Friday. Today we have two LELO products to tell you about.  And, as you know, every time you hear the name LELO you know something up-scale is in the offing.

Today’s reviews are brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Gina & Kevin.

Boa Pleasure Ties —— $80.45
Intima Silk Blindfold —— $59.55

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “We have two LELO Pleasure Products to tell you about today. Generally, we would do separate reviews for each, but in this instance, since the two products are companion pieces; we thought we’d tie them together in one review.”
Kevin: “Tie then together! You’re such a punster, Gina. The two products are the Boa Pleasure Ties and the Intima Silk Blindfold. If you haven’t already guessed these items are sheshe bondage toys.”

Gina: “The Boa Pleasure Ties are two 42” lengths of luscious 100% pure scarlet silk to be used as restraints. At one end of each tie is a lightly weighted pouch, at the other end stylish metal rings. This is divine decadence at its…well most decedent. You use the Boa Pleasure Ties as you would any restraint. Use them to secure wrists and/or ankles to a bedpost, or the like, for some lie-down bondage.”
Kevin: “You can also sling the weighted pouches over a door. When the door is closed the pouches keep the ties from slipping through, allowing for some stand-up bondage.”

Gina: “The Boa Pleasure Ties work like a typical two O-ring belt does. You make a loop around the parts you are restraining; the end is pulled through the two O-rings, then doubled back around one o-ring to keep the restraint in place. The silk moves smoothly and effortlessly over the skin.”
Kevin: “The Intima Silk Blindfold, on the other hand, is designed to offer sensual sensory deprivation along with your sensual bondage. It too is made of 100% pure scarlet silk. I have to say; the concept, craftsmanship and production values of both these products are exquisite. The attention to detail is remarkable. But then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the venerable LELO brand.”
Gina: “And while we’re talking about presentation, we should also say a few words about the packaging. Both packages are identical and in a word, elegant. Both the blindfold and ties come in a simple, understated black matte box that is encased in an outer box of glossy cardboard. The outer box features a stunning image of the product and it is embossed with the LELO logo. Inside the inner black matte box, the products are wrapped inside attractive high-quality tissue paper. All the packaging is biodegradable. Congratulations on GREENING your packaging, LELO.”
Kevin: “OK, so that’s all the good stuff. Let’s take a closer look, shall we? The Boa Pleasure Ties are basically extravagant playthings. They are not intended for a real bondage scenario. The oversized O-rings let the silk material slip between them with ease. This will frustrate anyone but the rank amateur or a silly dilettante.”
Gina: “And the Intima Silk Blindfold doesn’t actually work when put to the test. The design is very peculiar. It is a one-piece blindfold that has a tight elastic band in back. It did not fit comfortably on my head; it was way too tight. The curious thing is that the blindfold comes with attached ties that would have served much better for securing the blindfold to one’s head. Why it has both an elastic band and ties is beyond me.”
Kevin: “And although the blindfold is attractive, it simply doesn’t provide the sensory deprivation any true blindfold should. You can see light through it and it doesn’t cover ones eyes properly.”
Gina: “And whatever you do, don’t get either the Boa Pleasure Ties or the Intima Silk Blindfold dirty. Body oils, makeup and perspiration will ruin the silk. And if you should accidentally get lube on either one of these toys, you can forget about it.”
Full Review HERE!


Guess What, Honey? I’m A Kinky Old Perv!

And now, by popular demand, a reprint of an old favorite.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big-time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the lowly little bitch that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic—you know, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked til your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toejam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear—Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread.

Dear Dr. Dick,
Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink can be a little tricky; the whole love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go, either. Why not just stand tall like the filthy pervert you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to Little Miss Mary Sunshine? After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life walks with a pronounced limp (or perhaps is suffering from a case of the gout). Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows—s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Case in point. Here’s part of an exchange I had with a young man from Omaha.

Dear Doc,
I’m 23, and I’ve been dating 30-year-old chick for nearly a year now. I come from a very conservative Christian upbringing and I love that she is more experienced than me. My girlfriend likes to tie me up. I’m a college gymnast so I have very defined muscles. They are a huge turn on for my girlfriend, which I guess explains why she likes to see me struggle against the rope. I get real turned on too when I’m tied up. Sometimes she teases my penis and testicles with a feather or a piece of leather, which drives me wild. I’m worried though, because I think this is gonna warp me somehow. Do you think this is perverted? Why is it so much fun?

Ahhh yeah, Jake, I do think it’s perverted. I think your girlfriend is a big fat pervert and I think you’re still just a teensy-weensy little pervert—but well on your way to Big Fat Perverthood (note: Big Fat Perverthood is not a clinical term; just something we toss around the office for fun), just like your girlfriend. And why is this bondage thing so much fun? It’s such a blast because it IS perverted, IS nasty and IS forbidden, silly! One can only guess what your fundamentalist Christian mom and dad would think about their star athlete son trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey while a considerably older dominatrix punishes his family jewels. I fear this apple has fallen a great distance from the tree, right, Jake? I absolutely love it!

Okay, back to telling your partner about your kink. Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar to her/him doesn’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah is always going on about.

This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with—lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, pee, role-playing—whatever your hearts desire.

Decide on a safe-word, an out-of-context word your partner can use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built-up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work, Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play. Because, as we all know, the key to fantastic sex is all about communicating – and if you can’t be honest about what you want, then it won’t be long until you’re looking around, wondering how the hell you got to a sex life full of furtive, 2 minute, missionary position encounters. And life is way too short for that crap.


Hey Sex Fans!

Product Review Friday is comin’ your way and today we have another outstanding insertable from our very good friends at: Crystal Delights. Today’s pleasure product is not the first Crystal Delights product we’ve reviewed, no siree! I reviewed one back in February, 2010. You can see it HERE!

Today’s review is brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Jack & Karen.

The Kiss —— $99.95

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Even though both Jack and I are relative new-cumers to anal play, we both need to warm up for a full on ass-ult. But now that we’re no longer rank amateurs we both really get into it once we’re loosened up a bit. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Originally, I offered up my butt to please Jack. I didn’t think there’d be much in it for me, but I was willing to give it a try for him. Boy, was I ever mistaken. I swear, I’m getting the lion’s share of the pleasure when Jack fucks me back there.”
Jack: “I totally love her for trying anal, just for me. And because she did it just to please me, I figured it was high time for me to do the same. We did our homework too. We also watched a couple of educational and enrichment videos on anal play; that really helped us too.”
Karen: “So true! The videos made a point of stating that the warm-up part of the play is essential if the person hopes to enjoy his/her rear entry adventure.”
Jack: “One of the most effective ways of warming-up is by using a butt plug. And we now have a new addition to our growing collection. Allow us to introduce you to the exquisite Kiss.”
Karen: “That’s the perfect word for the Kiss; it’s exquisite. It’s like jewelry for your butt hole. No, I mean it! This beautiful glass plug, (hand blown Pyrex mind you) with the stunning red swirls is the perfect size for the novice butt pirate. It is approximately 1.5” wide, at it’s widest, and has an insertable length of about 3”. The teardrop shape of the insertable end tapers down to a half-inch stem before it flares again to the base. And the base is studded with a genuine Swarovski crystal. The whole thing is no more than 3.5” long so anyone can enjoy it.”
Jack: “This important; the shape that Karen just described is classic butt plug. Once the teardrop shaped end of the Kiss is popped in you pooper, your sphincter muscles clamp down on the thin neck and this action holds the plug in place. And there’s never a worry that it will accidentally slip inside. The base is too big for that. It also means that you can wear this puppy for hours at a time. There’s no discomfort, just pleasure, pleasure, pleasure!”
Karen: “Because the beautiful Kiss is Pyrex glass it’s nonporous. It is easily cleaned and sanitized so that we can share the toy. We simply wash it in soapy hot water, then wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. We’d boil it or pop it in the dishwasher, as we do out other find glass toys, but the Kiss has that stunning crystal in its base and we don’t want to disrupt that.”
Jack: “Another great feature of a high-quality glass insertable, like the Kiss is that you can use any type of lube you want with it. We’re found of silicone-based lubes, so that’s what we use. And here’s a tip; just a little dab of lube will make the Kiss super slick.”
Karen: “I want to repeat something Jack just said. The Kiss is very comfortable to wear. In anticipation of some hot backdoor action with Jack, I simply insert the plug in advance of our play together. Wearing this thing for even 30 minutes makes my rump hungry for more.”
Jack: “She’s like totally primed for my dick when play time begins. And I’m totally ready for her strap-on when it’s my turn to give up my ass. And don’t forget, you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
Karen: “The Kiss comes in a stylish padded pouch that folds upon itself and secures itself with elastic bands. It’s a very classy presentation and it would make the perfect gift.”
Full Review HERE!


Hello Gorgeous!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and we have the last of three pleasure objects we received from that wonderfully GREEN boutique manufacturing house in London, Made To Pleasure.

But wait! You haven’t missed any of the reviews in this series, have you? Well not to worry if you have, because there are archived on my site. Look for them HERE!

Today’s review is brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Joy & Dixie.

The Ripple —— £50.00

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “Damn! It’s been over 6 months since we’ve posted a review. But we have an excuse; we’ve been on the road…again. As we’ve said before, we sometimes get fed up with our day jobs and just say fuck it. We hop in our RV and hit the road. It does a person good to simply get up and go see something of the world around her.”
Dixie: “But here’s the thing; despite our footloose wanderlust, we never leave home without the essentials. And for us that means sex toys. We picked up our traveling companion back in March, just before we left on our road trip.”
Joy: “And what a brilliant companion The Ripple turned out to be. We loves us some fancy dildos and this beautiful double-header deeply satisfies. For those unfamiliar with the term ‘double-header’, that just means you can insert either end.”
Dixie: “The operative word for me is ‘deeply’. The Ripple is just over 6” long and just under an inch and a half in diameter. It’s not too big, it’s not too small; it is just right! And since it doesn’t use batteries, nor does it plug-in, it is the perfect travel buddy.”
Joy: “And when I said fancy; I meant it! The Ripple is gorgeous. This is our first encounter with an insertable made out of acrylic (aka Lucite). It’s crystal clear, just like glass. But it’s much lighter. It also shares a lot of the other, more familiar properties of glass — waterproof, nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. You can use whatever kind of lube you want with The Ripple. And it cleans up as easily.”
Dixie: “Acrylic is another ideal material for a sharable toy. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can sanitize it for sharing by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Joy: “Both Dixie and I prefer a textured dildo. And in this regard The Ripple doesn’t disappoint. The wave, ribbed or rippled end is very nice for an in and out motion. And the bullet-shaped end is all about your G-spot. The Ripple comes packaged with a bullet vibe, but we thought that was a waste of time.”
Dixie: “Oh, and don’t forget that acrylic is dandy for sensation play. It can be chilled and warmed for extra sensations. I also want to comment about the packaging. The Ripple comes in an elegant embossed black matte gift box. Inside the box you’ll find The Ripple wrapped in black crêpe paper lying on a bed of black felt. It is tied in place with a black satin ribbon. It’s a totally stylish presentation, but all the components are biodegradable. Kudos to this boutique toy company for their GREEN outlook!”
Joy: “Speaking of made to pleasure. We’d be remiss if we didn’t tell you that this company will custom make any toy you design using their design tool on their website. How cool is that?”
Full Review HERE!


Havin’ us a ball, ya’ll!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday. And we have another toy for your bum to tell you about. It came to us directly from the manufacturer, Nexus. This is the fourth and last of our review of these unique Nexus products.

You have been following all our Nexus reviews, right? If not, you’re missing out. You can find them all HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck, are here to tell you all about today’s toy.

Titus by Nexus —— $62.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have an interesting prostate massager to tell you about today. It’d called Titus. It’s a the slimmer cousin of the Nexus Excel, which was reviewed here earlier.”
Chuck: “I wonder how they came up with that name. It’s the name of a Roman emperor, ya know. What that has he to do with pleasuring your bung-hole is beyond me.”
Mick: “Yeah, I thought it was an odd choice too, but maybe there’s a method to their madness. Hey, maybe it’s named after the guy who came up with the design; ya know like Titus O’Rilley, or Titus Kawalski. Whatever the reason for calling it Titus we oughtn’t lose sight of it’s curious, yet very effective, shape. It’s curved, it’s ribbed and it’s slim enough for even a novice butt pirate to use with confidence.”
Chuck: “Titus is made of medical grade polypropylene, which is a fancy word for ‘hard plastic’. There also a stainless steel ball bearing on one side of the base. This ball bearing smacks ya right on your taint (perineum) when the Titus is lodged in your ass. The other side of the base is your handle. You use this for inserting and for maneuvering Titus into place.”
Mick: “It kinda works like a butt plug, but it really doesn’t stay in place as well as I would have liked it to. I mean, it’s great if I’m sitting on it, but not if I’m standing up or moving around.”
Chuck: “ I liked the ergonomic shape and the ribbed surface on insertable stalk. The ribbing added some extra stimulation when inserting and removing it.”
Mick: “The thing I like most is the dyno-mite orgasms I have with the Titus. I just insert this puppy, sit down on it, rock back and forth and pull my pud. In no time I’m bustin’ a nut of cosmic proportion!”
Chuck: “Totally! Oh, and it’s waterproof too. So you can lounge in the tub with thing in your hole. I mean come on; every guy winds up playin’ with his willie while he’s having a soak, right? So why not have something massaging your prostate at the same time.”
Mick: “We should also mention that the hard plastic material is nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. And you can use any kind of lube you want with it. And by all means, do not forget the lube when you’re stuffin’ this, or anything else in your ass.”
Chuck: “Being waterproof also makes it a snap to clean. Soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. But you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. There’s a little tool that comes in the package for popping out the ball bearing for a sanitizing cleaning. This toy is made for sharing, so sanitizing is important. We’ve simply dropped the Titus in a pot of boiling water or popped it in the dishwasher for that total sanitizing effect.”
Full Review HERE!