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Shall we dance?

Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! Today we welcome back one of our favorite toy manufacturers — We-Vibe. As you probably recall, we’ve reviewed two incarnations of their fabulous award-winning flagship vibe for couples. You can find our reviews HERE and HERE!

Today we have one of their new solo toys. So let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Denise, of Ken and Denise to see what she has for us.

We-Vibe Tango —— $79.99

Denise
Hello everyone! I’m flying solo today because I have the pleasure of introducing you to one of the new solo product from one of the adult product industry’s most lauded innovators, We-Vibe.contents

This little beauty is called Tango. It belongs to a class of personal vibrators called lipstick vibes. These little vibes have been a mainstay in the industry for many years. Women like them because they are discreet, can be taken anywhere, and they look like…wait for it…a lipstick.

In the past this class of vibes has been cheap, toss-away, and battery operated novelties that couldn’t deliver much in terms of long-lasting stimulation. We-Vibe changes all that. The Tango is rechargeable, built to last and it is definitely not inexpensive. And because Tango doesn’t rely on batteries that run down, the stimulation it delivers is both powerful and consistent.

We-Vibe TangoThe Tango is made of hard plastic, and comes in two vibrant colors. There’s no silicone skin to mute the vibrations. Now, as much as I like silicone, and I do like silicone a lot, it cushions and thus mutes the vibrations instead of enhancing them. And that’s just not going to work for a lipstick vibe whose whole purpose is to deliver maximum pinpoint clitoral stimulation.

Tango features a beveled edge, just like…wait for it…a lipstick. The tip delivers intense vibrations with pinpoint accuracy, and the flat surface is perfect for everything else.

It features eight vibration modes yet it’s super quiet. Actually, it rumbles more than it vibrates, which is a delicious sensation. But the thing is, the whole Tango vibrates or rumbles. And while that sounds like a good thing at first, I found that using it for an entire masturbation session left my fingers numb. Fortunately, I discovered a handy work-around. When my fingers begin to tingle, I place the Tango in my panties, this keeps it in place and frees up my hands to stroke and pinch my nipples. I can also hump a pillow this way, which is my own a very satisfying way to masturbate. By the way, that’s how I discovered masturbation as a young girl.

I love the fact that it is waterproof. I’m always up for a vibe I can use in the bath.tango_hand_1

The promotional materials for the Tango state that a charge lasts two hours. That’s not my experience. The first couple of times I used mine I got about an hour of vibration. Now it’s down to about 45 minutes. It takes another 90 minutes to fully recharge. After reading other online reviews I found out that this isn’t uncommon; there’s some problem with the internal battery keeping a charge. Some reviewers even reported that their Tango simply up and died one day. Gosh, I hope that doesn’t happen to mine.

I’m also not crazy about a one-button control, but that’s just me. I found the magnetic charging base to be pretty fussy too. Am I just being picky? Maybe. But I think I have that right considering the Tango’s price tag.

I love the packaging; it’s completely recyclable. The Tango also comes with a handy drawstring storage bag.

Because it’s both waterproof and made of non-porous and body-safe PC-ABS thermoplastic cleanup is a snap. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry.
Complete Article HERE!

ENJOY

Vanity, Vanity, All Is Vanity

Hey sex fans!

Look, a new edition of Product Review Friday is comin’ your way. This week we bring you a toy from the Jopen Vanity line. This is actually one of California Exotics’ high-end toy lines. And California Exotics is, is as you probably know, one of this county’s oldest adult toy manufacturers.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, to see what she has for us.

Vanity Vr15  ——  $170.99

Jada
When Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Vr15, yet another stylized rabbit vibe, I said; “sure, why not!”

Rabbit vibes, both the traditional design and the newish stylized designs, have been a mainstay in the adult marketplace for just about as long as there has been an adult marketplace. I would love to meet the person who first came up with the design. And I would be willing to bet every dollar I have, and every dollar I ever hope to have, that the designer was a guy. Here’s why I say that.

I took it upon myself to do an informal survey of some of my women friends about their masturbation habits. I know we’re not supposed to talk about that, even with our close women friends, but a surprising number of women responded to my little survey. Of the two dozen women who responded, not one of them said that they inserted anything, not even fingers, into their vagina when they masturbate; at least not on a regular basis. It’s always all about the clit! Now I know, I know, this is not a representative sample and I suppose there are women out there who do insert something, fingers included, into their vagina when the masturbate, but I can’t help wondering what the percentage might be.Vanity Vr15

At the same time, if I were to give two dozen guys the task of designing a pleasure toy for women, I’d be willing to guess that the vast majority, if not all of them would design an insertable. Why? Because they have an insertable dangling between their legs and every guy knows where their insertable goes for pleasure. I suspect that most men can’t imagine a woman pleasuring herself without something that either looks exactly like a penis or faintly resembles one. Thus the proliferation of dildos. and their gussied-up cousin, the rabbit vibes. Doesn’t that sound a little weird to you? It sure does to me.

There is also the fact that most men frown on having their women use a phallic shaped instrument on themselves when they are having partnered sex. That doesn’t come as a huge surprise. I guess that’s why toy designers started stylizing the rabbit away from the obvious phallic design to something more like the Vr15.

So what is the Vr15 and what is remarkable about it? It’s an insertable with a “rabbit” arm, but instead of ears, there’s a tiny mouth for clitoral stimulation. It has two motors—shaft and rabbit. It’s powerful, but quiet. It’s waterproof, rechargeable and its skin is 100% latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. All those things are wonderful and add to the pleasure, but nowadays most, if not all, high-end vibes feature the same things.

Unlike other similar vibes, the Vr15 features a shaft that feels like it’s rotating under the skin, as opposed to vibrating. Remember the old rabbit designs that featured rotating beads in the shaft? It’s like that. It’s multifunctional with varying speeds. Again, all very nice, if you like that sort of thing.

It’s almost 5 inches in circumference at its widest point. The shaft then tapers towards the top and at its slimmest it’s about 3 inches in circumference. The tapered head makes for easy insertion while working your way up to that wider circumference. The total length of this toy is 8.5 inches.

I think it is important to add here that the Vr15 would work just as well as an anal toy. And because it is so easy to sanitize, (I’ll get to that later) I say why not?

The minimalist packaging, for such an expensive product, surprised me, but I liked it. It also comes with very nice storage bag.

It’s easy to use. The two-button control panel, in the handle, controls the rotation and vibration. The top button controls the shaft and the bottom button controls the rabbit. To activate the rotating shaft, press the top button once. To increase the speed, just hold it down. Press one more time to turn it off. The same is true for the rabbit, but, as I mentioned, one uses the bottom button to control it. The shaft and arm can be activated simultaneously.

The Vr15 is travel friendly because controls lock. To lock and unlock depress both buttons simultaneously for 4 seconds. That’s a very thoughtful feature.

The Vr15 has a rechargeable premium lithium ion battery. It also features LED charging and power lights.

I had some difficulty using the Vr15 on myself. It just didn’t seem to fit right. Once inserted, the “rabbit” didn’t quite connect with my clit. And if I tried to angle the vibe to attend to my clit, the inserted shaft was uncomfortable. And I don’t think I cared all that much for the rotation sensation. I’m pretty sure I would have preferred vibration.

Because it’s both waterproof and made of silicone cleanup couldn’t be easier. Mild soap and warm water does just fine for everyday cleaning. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize for sharing. After you wipe it down rinse in warm water and let it air dry.

Be sure you only use a water-based lube with a fine silicone-skinned toy like this. A silicone-based lube will mar the finish.”

Here’s my quarrel with the Vr15. Despite the wonderful features the price point is out of this world. There are dozens and dozens of high-end rabbit style vibes on the market. Many, if not all, offer the same features. I mean, just use the search function in the sidebar and type in “rabbit.” You’ll be presented with an array of vibes, some with traditional designs, and some with stylized designs. None of which costs $171.00.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

We’ve Only Just Begun…

Name: Donna
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Location: Salt Lake City.
I’m turning to you for help, because I don’t have anyone else to ask. My boyfriend, who is 19, and I are very much in love. We plan to marry next year. But we both want to start having sex now. We are both virgins and we think we need help overcoming the natural obstacles, if you know what I mean.

Gee, I’m not sure I know what you mean by natural obstacles. Are you talking about physical things? Emotional things? Maybe you just need a little tutorial on how to get started. I’ll try to at least touch upon all these things, but first I want to thank you for entrusting me with your concerns. I’m sorry to hear that you don’t have others in your community to approach. I guess that says a lot about the family values and community standards where you live.

teen_sexuality.jpgI have lots to say about beginning a sexual life with another person. Curiously enough the information I am about to share is applicable to both women and men and it applies to any and all sexual orientations. That’s the beautiful part of human sexuality. There is so much common ground. In fact, there is way more that we have in common than what separates us.

Ok, so here goes. Be yourselves. Let your natural feeling of affection for one another lead you. Always use a condom (This applies to penis/vagina and/or anal sex.) Be gentle; be curious; seek your partner’s pleasure before your own; and most importantly, have a sense of humor about the whole damned thing.

Just about everyone who is sexually inexperienced will also lack sexual confidence. It can be nerve-wracking not being sure what to do to satisfy your partner. Sometimes this nervousness is contagious. Your anxiety can make your partner anxious. The surefire way to get around this is to not pretend you know what the fuck you’re doing, if ya don’t. The best way to find out what to do is to ask your partner what he/she likes and how she/he likes it. If they don’t know or can’t tell you, then you can find out together with some sex play. And I do mean play, not work.1sexual_response_cycle_male

This is where our natural sexual curiosity comes in. And we all have that to one degree or another. Sexual confidence comes from knowing. Curiosity will bring you knowledge.

There will be no room for curiosity if the only thing on your mind is the old in an out. That’s why I suggest you put off full-on fucking till you get the lay of the land, so to speak. Besides, there are lots and lots of ways to pleasure yourself and your partner that doesn’t involve intercourse.

Like I said, sexual confidence comes with understanding the mysteries of our sexual response cycle. Each one of us is different and the differences are most pronounced between the sexes. If you haven’t discovered at least the fundamentals of your own response cycle through masturbation; then you’re really not really ready to gift yourself to another person just yet.

female sexual response cycleYa see, the more you know about your body; how it works; where your pleasure centers are; the kind of stimulation you need and want to come to full arousal; the more information you’ll have to pass on to your partner. Even if your partner is more experienced than you, he/she will still need to get to know the intricacies of your individual response cycle.

Sexual confidence stems from being able to please your partner. When you know what you are doing you project an air of self-assurance. This is not the same thing as cockiness, mind you, although that might be a very fun attribute to have too.

The best lovers look to pleasure their partners before they expect to be pleasured. Delaying your own pleasure, particularly if you’re a guy, so that you can provide multiple orgasms to your partner will reap great pleasurable rewards for you when it’s your turn. Besides, giving pleasure is often as pleasurable as being pleasured.

Sexual confidence translates into sexual assertiveness. Each partner should take equal responsibility for initiating sex. Trust me, this is not merely a man’s role. And sexual assertiveness translates into sexual creativity. If you’re timid about trying new things, you’re gonna short-circuit a whole lot of pleasure.black teens

Learn to ask for what you want and how you want it. Communication is key to a healthy and vibrant sex life. Never underestimate the your partner’s ability to develop and grow sexually. Check in with your partner on a regular basis. Don’t assume you know what turns him/her on today, just because it turned her/his crank the other day.

Feelings of sexual inadequacy, discomfort with your body, anxiety about your skills will destroy your sex life. If you are plagued with any of these things get help with them before your bring them to a sexual partnership.

sexual confidenceSexual confidence comes down to knowing yourself and being able to communicate your likes and wants to your partner. If you’re simply gonna be passive about your pleasure, you’ll wind up getting only what is dished out to you. And for many women, that is woefully insufficient. Don’t expect your partner to know any more about pleasuring you than you do, even if she/he has had more partners then you.

Allow yourselves the time or space you need to feed your intimacy needs. If you expect to discover sexuality with your partner in the backseat of a car, you’re gonna cum up short. Passion and spontaneity is great, but what I’m talking about is different from that. Think of it as learning to walk before you run.

Being a terrific lover is dependent on know-how. Skill comes through practice. So practice, practice, practice! Keep it fun. When it stops being play and starts being work, put it aside for another day.

Good luck

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Foreplay – Making a Meal of Appetizers

Special Valentine’s Day Workshop with Yours Truly!

When:   02/14/14 — 7PM to 9PM
Where:   Foundation For Sex Positive Culture — 1608 15th Ave W. Bldg B, Seattle, WA 98119
Who:   Anyone 18+ with ID
Cost at the Door:   $25       Advance prices:   $20 for Individuals, $35 for Couples and $50 for Triads.

Purchase your tickets HERE!

***Limited to 30 attendees.***
This workshop is open to all regardless of gender, orientation, or relationship status.

Tired of the same old in and out? Is penetrative sex boring you to tears, or worse leaving you unfulfilled? Well, I have just the thing for you. Let’s whip up a menu of spicy, tantalizing, and oh so satisfying hors d’oeuvres that will revitalize your diet and expand your sexual repertoire.you've been bad

We’ll cover a wide variety of topics, including:

  • Oral skills
  • The art of aural seduction
  • Sensual massage
  • Sensory play
  • Ritualizing your connection
  • Mutual masturbation; the key to great partnered sex at any age
  • Exploring kinks and fetishes
  • Toys
  • And so much more!

Remember, creativity and exploration is the spice of life!

There will be lots of adult product to giveaway too.

foundation-for-sex-positive-culture




High And Dry

Name: Stephen
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Sacramento, CA
Dear Dr. Dick I am at the end of my rope. I am a white male, 47, 50lbs over what my Doctor would like me to weight. I am per-diabetic, with blood pressure and cholesterol just a little higher than my Doctor would like. I have been married for going on 13 years, and have a 7-year-old special needs son. And my sex life sucks.
My wife who I love dearly has chronic pain that leaves her muscles aching all the time, so the last time she and I had sex was the night we conceived our son. I have tried to take care of my needs though masturbation, but to be honest I am getting very bored with the whole idea of jerking off. Even using my hand I have trouble sometimes getting a hard on. I have managed to have an orgasm while my dick is soft, it just takes care of the itch, and it does not really satisfy me like fucking or a good slow hand job while fully hard.
I have tried using a cock ring, but I think I am doing something wrong because I don’t stay hard while using one and none of my partners has used one so I have no one to ask. I also have the problem of finding the time when I can be alone. Without my wife finding out what I am doing, because she does not approve of me watching porno, or jerking off. The last time she caught me, she did not speak to me for over two weeks.
I am trying to find a family counselor for my wife and I, but I’m having problems with finding one covered by our Insurance and one that can make appointments that will fit in with my wife’s work schedule.
I have been exploring my BI side with men I meet on the web. I am fussy because I want to be safe, and they have to have somewhere we can meet. Most married BI guys have the same problems I do, nowhere to go to have a little fun. There are no bathhouses in our area. And on top of all those problems I can only get a hard on if I use one of the ED drugs. Which my Medical Insurance will not pay for so my Doctor has been giving my free samples that he gets.
So of the five or six times a year I get to have sex, maybe one of them I will get to fuck someone. While I like being a bottom, there are times I just want to fuck someone. There are times I just want to pack up my bags and leave to find the sex life I want, but I do love my wife and son, and I don’t think leaving will make anything better.
So here I sit, I have run out of ideas, my counselor has run out of ideas. Having sifted thought most of your web site with no luck I hope that maybe you can shed some new light on this disaster of a sex life.

Do you know the phrase, “sinking to the lowest common denominator?” Well that’s what you are doing, my friend. You have precisely the sex life you permit yourself to have. You’ve boxed yourself into a corner by allowing others, particularly your wife, to dictate what you can and cannot do with your sexual energy. So there you are high and dry, as they say.

challenges aheadI appreciate the fact that your wife may have medical issues that might prevent her from joining you in the vigorous sex life you desire. But if that’s where you leave the discussion then you are getting precisely what you deserve.

I realize you’ve committed yourself to your wife through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. But in the absence of a marital sex life, you’ve discovered new and uncharted areas of your own sexuality. This volatile combination will either be destructive or regenerative.

I have one real simple premise that I live by. And that is, each of us has a right to a happy, healthy, integrated sex life. If there is something that is getting in the way of achieving that, whatever it might be, it is a problem that needs to be addressed immediately.

As far as relationships go, particularly a marriage, I am of the mind that we ought, first and foremost, work to honor our commitments of fidelity and mutual support. Are there ways that these two moral principles — a right to a healthy sex life and one’s marital commitments — can coexist when one’s relationship excludes the possibility of happy sexual expression? Yes, I believe there are. And many couples achieve this balance, because they have an overriding love and concern for one anther.stubbornness

Now the facts — not all loving relationship, including many marriages, have a sexual component. Many, for one reason or another, simply don’t. In fact, most long-term relationships are not sexual in nature. However, a partner in loving relationship who is unable to provide sexual satisfaction to his/her partner should give the languishing partner permission to find sexual fulfillment outside the relationship. I hasten to add that these are often very difficult negotiations to hammer out. But to do less than try to make these accommodations is, I believe, a form of sexual abuse.

If what you report about your wife’s revulsion to even you sexually pleasuring yourself is accurate, then you have a very hard row to hoe. Trying to negotiate a satisfactory solution to your dilemma is all the more difficult when one of the partners is opposed to even discussing the issue. This is where a good counselor will come in handy. (If you would like to consult me, see the Therapy Available tab under the About Dr Dick page in the header of my site.) If your therapist is not up to helping you bring this issue to the fore, then you’d better look elsewhere for the help you need. If this issue is left unattended you will continue to sink to the lowest common denominator. You will continue to be unhappy as you skulk around looking for stray cock in unsavory places. And I have a sense that you are not being totally upfront with me about your extracurricular activities. Simply put, you do yourself and your marriage a greater injustice with this kind of reckless behavior than risking the dissolution of your marriage by engaging your wife in an honest search for a healthy solution to your problems.

solutionsThat being said, I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you’ve already made up your mind about the direction you intend to go. I suspect that you will continue to explore your nascent bisexuality through these furtive liaisons with men you’ve been meeting. I also assume that, divorce is not an option, at least not in an up-front sort of way. The sad thing here is your wife is unable to join you in coming up with a viable solution to the problem at hand, because she is being kept in the dark about your dalliances.

I am not suggesting that you deny your sexual needs just to appease or pacify your wife. Nor do I condone deceiving your wife about your true self. These options will only create a divide between you and your wife that will never be bridged.

If you ever hope to escape the corner you’ve painted yourself into, you’ll have to buck up and be honest with your wife. Looks like you have your work cut out for you, my friend.

Good Luck

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