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Slip Slidin’ Away

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Three lucky members of the Dr Dick Review Crew have been having a gay old time with the new signature line of personal lubricants.

These particular lubes come from the good folks at Fleshlight and FleshJack.

We’re all pretty ga-ga about the fleshlight products here at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.  (Check out my review of the granddaddy of male masturbation toys HERE!)

So it comes as no surprise that these wizards have developed their own line of water-based lubes to go with their fine products, or that can be used on their own.

Today we welcome a new Review Crew Member, Madora.  She joins Ken and Dixie, who introduce us to the new lubes.

Fleshlube Elements Pack $24.95large_1441

This Package Includes:
– 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Water
– 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Fire
– 1 4oz. Bottle of Fleshlube Ice

Fleshlube WATER

 

Madora

What can I say?  There’s nothing I don’t love about Fleshlube WATER by the makers of the Fleshlight.  It’s super smooth, weightless, light, it’s water based so it’s safe to use with my favorite silicone vibes.  One of my favorite parts about it is that you use a little and then you just completely forget you’re using lube, it’s so natural feeling.

I’m not into putting tons of chemicals on my private parts so the fact that it’s got only five ingredients makes me terribly happy.  The main ingredient is Purified water and it actually contains honeysuckle extract.  Is it just me, or is honeysuckle an incredibly sexy word?  Either way it fits right in.fleshlube_water_2

So far I’ve only used it solo cause, well, I’m single right now and I’m the only one I love enough to get that close to my honeypot.  Feel the love.

Fleshlube WATER is also hypoallergenic so it’s great for people with sensitive skin and it comes in a recyclable plastic bottle with a simple sleek design.  If Fleshlube WATER Lubricant were the only lube I ever used for the rest of my life, I’d be totally fine with that.

Full review HERE!

Now here’s Dixie!

Fleshlube ICE

Dixie
Thanks Madora, and welcome to the Review Crew!

I have to agree with Madora about the attributes of Fleshlube ICE Lubricant; like the WATER lube that she used, mine is also silky smooth and lightweight.  And of course, it’s water based so it’s safe to use with my silicone toys and latex condoms. So hurray for that!  The “ice” or cooling effect is very nice too.  Nothing overpowering, it’s more of a gentle sensation.fleshlube_ice_2

I took a slightly different tact with my review.  I decided to dig deeper into the ingredients of this product.  Madora mentioned honeysuckle extract.  My lube also has honeysuckle extract.  I had never heard of this additive before, so I thought I’d look that up on the interweb tubes.  I discovered that in traditional Chinese medicine, honeysuckle is used to clear heat and toxins from the body.  Recent studies in China found honeysuckle to be effective in reducing inflammation, fever, and infection.  I think that’s really interesting.

Fleshlube ICE also contains glycerin.  This might be a concern to some.  Even though the vast majority of skin care, hair care and other products marketed as “moisturizing”, “hydrating” or “replenishing” use glycerin as one of their main active ingredients. Glycerin draws moisture from the lower layers of the skin and holds it on the surface.  So some claim that basically you rob Peter to pay Paul, as it were

The ICE or cooling agent is: Menthyl Lactate, which is a cooling agent derived from an ester of menthol and lactic acid.  An ester, I discovered, is a compound formed from alcohol and an acid by eliminating the water.  I’m like getting this chemistry lesson along with my pleasuring.

Full review HERE!

Now here’s Ken!

Fleshlube FIRE

Ken

I have the Fleshlube FIRE lube.  I think it’s great.  It does have a nice warming component to it that kicked up my jerk-off session a notch.  It felt really good on my dick and balls, but also on my butthole.  I’m not big on insertions of any sort.  I know, I know, I’m missing out…maybe one of these days.  But still I do like a nice rim job.  And since I can’t rim myself, this Fleshlube FIRE lubricant is the next best thing when I’m by myself.fleshlube_fire_2

I was all excited about turning my partner, Denise, on to Fleshlube FIRE, but she wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as I was.  She has really sensitive skin.  I mean you can just look at her crooked and she breaks out with the heebee jeebees.

Once she had a look at the ingredients she nixed the idea of use on or with her.  She was happy to see the lube was paraben-free.  Apparently parabens can be found in shampoos, commercial moisturizers, shaving gels, cleansing gels, personal lubricants, topical pharmaceuticals and toothpaste. They are also used as food additives in some products.

Denise said that parabens can mimic the hormone estrogen, which is known to play a role in the development of breast cancers. It can also adversely affect the secretion of testosterone and the function of the male reproductive system. That pretty much sold me on avoiding parabens in the future, that’s for damn sure.

The next thing that concerned Denise was the additive:  Propylene Glycol.  I guess this is something like Glycerin, because it works as a hydrating factor, but it too draws moisture from the lower part of the skin to the surface giving only the impression of moisturizing (rather than actually doing it!).

Full review HERE!

Easy Cum, Easy Go

Hey sex fans,

Listen up!

I’m adding this new feature to my Q&A columns.  Whenever possible, I will include in my response a link to a movie in my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page?) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand.  I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.  (Click on the images below for viewing information.)

Name: Spencer
Gender:
Age: 37
Location: Ottawa
I am very interested in learning more about prostate massage and milking techniques.  Are you familiar with these things?  Thank you.

I am very familiar with both prostate massage and the fetish commonly known as milking.

But let’s begin with prostate massage, because it is something every guy can practice and enjoy.  I a53342_xlfrecommend all us men folk be prostate aware.  You know I’m a big advocate of frequent prostate self-exam, right?  And I figure while you’re down there rootin’ around in your butt-hole checking for abnormalities, hey spend a little more time and give yourself a nice massage why don’t ‘cha?  Fingers work just fine for this, but an insertable vibrator is…well…out of this world.  Prostate massage is a wonderful way to expand your self-pleasuring repertoire, especially for all you guys out there who only know how to yank on their dick for joy.  And ladies, prostate massage is a great way to play with your male partners.  Perhaps if you signal to your guy that a little butt play can be fun, more straight guys will be less ass-phobic and the world will be a much better place, don’t cha know.

You can feel your prostate gland by inserting a finger a couple of inches or so into your bum.  If you are the least bit aroused your prostate will feel like a smooth rounded flat lump about the size of a large almond. Just in back of and up from your prostate is a smaller triangular wedge shaped nodule that is the bottom portion of your somewhat larger seminal vesicles.  This, by the way, is where most of your jizz is produced and stored. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampullae, which are tiny reservoirs for your sperm that will mix with all the other fluids produced by the vesicles and your prostate when you cum.

a73296_xlfAs you become aroused, ejaculatory fluid and sperm accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When the fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the muscular contractions of your ejaculation.  This empties the glands and you’ve just shot your wad.

Naturally, if one abstains from ejaculating for a while and prolongs his arousal stage, say like through edging, more fluids will build up, making for a larger load and a more explosive orgasm.

So with that little anatomy lesson behind us, so to speak, we can get back to prostate massage.  Simply insert your well-lubricated middle finger or middle finger and index finger into your butt hole and apply a little pressure.  Slowly massage your prostate.  Doesn’t that feel yummy?  Some men can cum by prostate massage alone.  Hell, you may find that you don’t even need a stiff dick to enjoy an orgasm and/or an ejaculation.

a83370_xlfNow to kink things up a bit we introduce the fetish called milking.  This is mostly a partnered — dom/sub, bondage/discipline — sort of deal.  But a guy can certainly do it on his own if he’d like.  Basically, the object here is to drain and collect the spunk produced.  How it’s collected?  Well that’s is up for grabs.  Ya see there are a zillion variations on the milking theme.  Some practitioners deny the donor the pleasure of an orgasm while collecting his jizz.  Ice packs are placed on a guy’s cock and balls before milking begins.  The spooge will flow through prostate massage and masturbation, but there won’t be much feeling for the donor.

Another interesting twist on milking is to completely restrain and blindfold the donor.  This may include a little (or a lot) of cock and ball torture (CBT) during the milking sessions.  There are even milking machines available, not unlike the contraptions that milk a mother’s breast, for the medical fetishists among us.

There are sadists who revel in denying the donor any sexual release except for his milking sessions.  This is where a male chastity belt will come in mighty handy.  A guy will still need to a71598_xlfhave his balls drained, so to speak, every few weeks in order to avoid him losing his joy juice in a wet dream or when he takes a piss. But with regular prostate milkings, a dude can be deprived of orgasmic release for a long time with no harmful effects.

Those going for volume rather than frequency practice what is known as cum control, which takes edging to a whole new level.   Their objective is to go as long as possible without triggering an orgasm or a wet dream.  Since the pressure of fluid buildup increases with each arousal, the urgency to have an ejaculation also increases.  To deny himself the release is, for some, exquisitely painful.

If you’re still looking for more information on all of this, search them interweb tubes for key words like:  Semen Worship / Orgasm Control / Cum Control / Milking / Edging / Chastity and Cock and Ball Torture.

Name: Shelly
Gender:
Age: 21
Location: Atlanta
How come men are seen as ‘studs’ and women as ‘sluts’ for doing the same things.

Basically darling, that’s because our culture is pretty fucked up — sexually, and in so many other was too.

Despite the progress we’ve made over the last 50 years to liberate ourselves from suffocating 5Blit2oaSplgn264lJN97XCpo1_400sex-role stereotyping and culturally induced gender expectations, we are nowhere near being free and clear of all that crap.

Changing societal attitudes about sex begins with each one of us carving out our own healthy place to celebrate our sexuality.  Carving out that place means we don’t tolerate this or any other kind of double standard bullshit from those around us.  It’s tough standing against the tide of sexual bigotry, but it will make you strong and proud.  Banding together with other like-minded people for support and encouragement is also important.

The biggest danger, of course, is that young, sexually progressive women will, in time, cave to the pressure to conform.  They will begin to internalize the madonna/whore dichotomy that has plagued all of us for millennia and pass it on to yet another generation of vulnerable women.  The risk is always there; so vigilance is the only response.

And all you guys out there who think that this double standard is the way things oughta be.  Think again!  You are not a stud if you cheapen your sexual partners by degrading them; you’re just an asshole.

Name: Brianna
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: San Diego
I’ve been so disturbed about the increasing number of recalled Chinese made products lately — dog food, toothpaste, children’s toys and the like — that I was horrified to discover that most of my sex toys are made in China.  I suppose this is a dumb time to ask, but how safe are sex toys?

That is a real good question, Brianna.  Ya know there was a time when I thought that the greatest hazard to the ardent sex toy consumer was simply all the poorly designed and cheaply a2458_xlfmanufactured crap that floods the marketplace.  But in light of the alarming news of recent months about the safety risks of many products coming from China, I think there is room for concern about the safety of Chinese made sex toys.

I hasten to add that not all Chinese imports are dangerous.  Nor are all products grown or manufactured in the US safe.  But there is a long history of unscrupulous Western companies exploiting the Chinese labor force.  This greed and abuse leads to a dangerous mix that often has dire consequences.

Obviously there is no government regulatory agency out there with a mandate to protect us from unsafe or unhealthful sex toys.  Of course, one can make the case that even when there is a government regulatory agency with a mandate to protect us, and our pets, from unsafe, tainted or unhealthy food, drugs and other consumables they’re not doing a particularly good job.

The sex toy industry does an equally piss-poor job of regulating itself.  No surprise there, I suppose.  Profit motives seem to trump all other considerations.  And since there is virtually no scientific data on sex toy safety the responsibility for keeping ourselves safe falls to us, the consumer.  It’s up to us to positively impact the market.  We can begin by taking some responsibility for what we consume.  We can go GREEN with our sex toys, so to speak.  We could patronize only the retailers that provide fair and balanced product reviews.  We could refrain from buying on impulse or being swayed by slick smutty packaging.  We could avoid excess packaging that only winds up in a landfill.

We could avoid doing business with sex toy retailers who continue to peddle products with by unsubstantiated claims.  Herbal supplements that promise to grow a guy’s dick bigger or enhance his sexual performance.  Or those patches, pills and lubricating oils that are supposed to boost a chick’s desire.  It’s not like there aren’t good products out there, it’s just that we have to do our research before we buy.  Check out some of the great Product Review Sites too — Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews, Jane’s Guide or Hey Epiphora.

a122441_xlfWe could protect ourselves by insisting our toys be manufactured by people who have access to sex information, education and contraception for themselves.  If our purchases support repressive governments who abuse their people we are complicit in the repression.  Imagine our dildos, vibrators and fetish gear being manufactured by people who will never be able to enjoy a happy, healthy integrated sex life because of gender inequity or poverty.  That sucks, huh?

We can also protect ourselves by patronizing responsible and ethical sex toy retailers.  These include my very own Dr Dick’s Stockroom, Good Vibrations, Babeland and Eden Fantasys.  These retailers have excellent customer service departments and well as educational components to outreach.  They’re also terrific resources for all your sex toy related questions.

There have been a lot of unsubstantiated claims made of late that there is a potential danger in all sex toys.  Some insist that most sex toys contain cancer-causing ingredients. While I won’t go that far, there are some things to be concerned about.  For example, many soft rubber toys are made using phthalates, which have been linked to environmental and human health issues. Phthalates (pronounced “thall-eights”) are a chemical compound used to soften hard plastics into soft rubbery and jelly-like toys. I also recommend that you avoid toys with artificial scent and dyes.  They’ve been known to trigger allergic reactions in some people.

I believe that if you buy quality you are more likely to get quality.  Consider hypoallergenic materials, such as silicone, wood, glass and aluminum.  They are more expensive, but worth it.   Then again, you could always use a condom on any insertable, or less expensive toy of questionable material.  The problem with this is, condoms are not biodegradable and they’re expensive.  By the time you factor in the cost of condoms for every toy use, you’ll actually be spending more per diddle than if you bought quality from the get-go.

Remember the more information you have, the wiser a consumer you will be.

Good luck ya’ll

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To Have and To Hold

Hey sex fans,

I am so glad we finally got the new Review Site rockin’ n rollin’, because the Dr Dick Review Crew has been itchin’ to update you on a whole bunch of new products.

Have you visited Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews yet?  If not, what the hell are you waiting for?  It’s so cool; easy to navigate, easy to search and each product has it’s own review.  You can even search for all the reviews done by your favorite Review Crew member.  CHECK IT OUT!

This week’s Review Crew include: Jada and Jack & Karen.

Jada is here with a Jelique product.
Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm $10.95

Jada: “I love this new site, Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews; I’m so proud to be part of this effort.

I would like to introduce you to an interesting product — Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm. It’s a creamy lotion one applies to one’s genitals, or the genitals of a partner to flavor them up and make them tingle.

I should say from the outset that I would have never considered using this product had I seen it in the store. I would have simply passed it by. You see, I like the way I taste and smell when I am aroused.

I used Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm first by myself. It has an intense butter cream scent. It has a pleasant enough taste with a hint of mint. I licked some off my finger first before I put some around my labia. The hint of mint comes from the menthol in the ingredients. This, I assume, is also what adds the tingling effect.

It tastes like icing on a cake. It’s sweet to the tongue, but it also has a bit of a chemical aftertaste. Maybe that’s the mineral oil base; I don’t know. What I do know for sure is that, because of the mineral oil base, this product is not compatible with latex condoms. But I believe that Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm is geared toward masturbation and oral sex.

Full Review HERE!

Jack & Karen are here with another Jelique product.

Tooshies $8.95

Karen: “I’m a new-cumer to anal. Sometimes it takes me a while to warm up to this particular activity.”
Jack: “I love her for trying anal. She did it just to please me.”
Karen: “Well, that and it feels great once I get over the first hurtle.”
Jack: “We were lucky enough to score
Tooshies to review. It’s a minty flavored Benzocaine based numbing gel formulated to ease the initial discomfort of anal sex.”

Karen: “We’ve been looking around for such a product, but didn’t know which one to choose. Or if such gels and or lube worked.”
Jack: “
Tooshies works!”
Karen: “It does; that’s for sure. It’s just the thing I need to boost my confidence and to desensitize my rectum. I just have to say, Benzocaine is not for everyone. It’s pretty common for some people to have an allergic reaction to it. I suggest you try a little dab on the inside of your elbow first to see if you have a reaction or not. The inside of your elbow is not the same thing as the mucus membranes in you rectum, but you’ll have a better sense of things nonetheless.”

Full Review HERE!

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Luscious LELO, Part 1

Hey sex fans,

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been in a complete tizzy lately. Even these hardened veterans of the adult product review trenches were totally gaga when I put out the word that I had a slew of LELO products to review. Everyone on the crew couldn’t wait to get their grubby little hands all over these top of the line sex toys…I mean Pleasure Objects.

That”s right, sex fans, LELO not only reinvented the sex toy; they’ve evolved it into an object of pleasure. And trust me, it’s not just semantics. LELO products are indeed in a class of their own.

The Dr Dick Review Crew will be spending several weeks putting the LELO line through its paces. Whatever you do, don’t miss a single installment!

Today, we feature the G-spot LELO Pleasure Object — GIGI.

Review Crew members, Gina & Kevin, do the honors

GIGI $109

Gina: “I’ve been salivating over the LELO line for ages. I’ve seen them online, in magazine ads and I’ve even handled a couple of them at Babeland, Seattle. But I never expected to actually own one.”
Kevin: “I’m totally blown away too. These babies are stunning.”
Gina: “I never thought I’d own a LELO because they are kinda pricey. But after using
GIGI for a few weeks I can say that they are worth every cent. First off, they are rechargeable; so right away you save on the cost of battery replacement. Which, to my mind, not only makes LELO price competitive, but a bargain in the long run.”
Kevin: “
GIGI is a sensual work of art; it’s creatively innovative and it is GREEN! Anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that the Review Crew gives extra points for toys that are rechargeable.”
Gina: “GREEN is IN, fellow consumers!”
Kevin: “Also anyone who reads our reviews on a regular basis knows that I am like totally into my ass and gigi_deep_rose_mv1prostate. I know that
GIGI is marketed exclusively as a G-spot vibe, but I’m here to tell you (and the LELO people) that GIGI is dyn-O-mite on a dude’s P-spot too.”
Gina: “Kevin knows of what he speaks! Over the last year or so we’ve tried numerous insertables in his butt. Most were packaged as “women only” toys, but we didn’t care.”
Kevin: “I think toy producers are missing a load of crossover sales opportunities because they often focus on a specific gender in advertising. I mean Gina and I totally turned the WE-Vibe marketing concept on its head in our review (#13).”
Gina: “
GIGI is made from medical grade s ilicone, which give s it a velvety feel that is deliciously soft and warm. It has approximately 10cm of insertable length and the G-spot (or in this P-spot) flat and slanted tip has a circumference of 10.5cm. It takes about 2 hours to fully charge this thing. Unlike other rechargeable toys, you’ll know it’s fully charged when the light in the handle goes from flashing to a solid light. And a full charge will give you at least an hour and a half of amazing vibration.”
Kevin: “The power and adjust button is in the ergonomic handle.
GIGI has 5 modes of vibration with 4 speed settings. It’s amazingly powerful for such a little thing. So you can knock yourself out in more ways than one. It’s also super quiet. This thing has quality written all over it.”
Gina: “There was a time, not to long ago, that I would have been too embarrassed to watch Kevin pleasure himself. I thought masturbation, especially if it involved him inserting something into his bum, was something he should do privately. I can’t believe how uptight I once was.”
Kevin: “It was a struggle to break down some of her preconceived ideas about sex in general and masturbation in particular. But she’s totally into it now, I’m happy to report. And we’ve learned so much about pleasuring one another from watching each other pleasure ourselves.”
Gina: “I now absolutely love watching Kevin work his butt. It is such a turn on for me. He always gets the hardest erections when he’s stimulating his prostate. And he always shoots a giant load too. I often find myself sitting back with my own Pleasure Object and trying to keep pace with Kevin.”
Kevin: “If the truth be know, Gina has, on several occasions, jumped on my raging boner when I’m fuckin my ass with a dildo. I think it’s great that she feels free to take control.”
Gina: “It’s true, I can often barely contain myself.”
Kevin: “My first time with
GIGI was fantastic. I lubed it up. (Water based lube only with a fine silicone toy like this.) And nuzzled the flattened and slanted head against my hole. I worked the vibe options, getting a feel for where this baby was gonna take me. With only a little effort on my part the uniquely shaped head disappeared in my ass and hit home directly on my prostate. The flat slanted tip connected with my P-spot and made my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure. It’s like it was made for this purpose. I mean, how many guys are doing without GIGI thinking it’s only for girls?”
Gina: “Like a butt-plug,
GIGI stays in place. When Kevin let go of the vibe to stroke his penis and stretch his scrotum, I reached over and took hold. This startled him out of his revelry, but the gentle rocking motion I added as well as the change in pulsation made him buck and groan. He is the most sexually expressive man I’ve ever known.”
Kevin: “Gina pretends she’s still a shy and retiring catholic school girl when it comes to ass play, but this girl knows how to ramp thing up down there. She denied me the orgasm I was aching for. She forbid me to touch my cock and balls while she worked my ass with
GIGI. She took hold of my nuts and started to slap them, lightly at first, then she really let me have it. Yanking on my sack stretched the skin on my dick shaft and made my cock stick out perpendicular to my belly. I was lovin’ it, big time.”
Gina: “Like I’ve mentioned before, I’ve developed into quite a little dominatrix; something I would never have discovered in myself had it not been for Kevin and his promptings.”
Kevin: “I love it when she’s the Dom; it’s such a turn on. I clamped down on
GIGI using my PC muscles, like if I was doing my Kegel exercises. Intense vibrations filled my groin then moved up to my navel.”
Gina: “I let go of
GIGI, because I knew it would stay in place in Kevin’s butt and straddled his hips in a reverse cowgirl position. This way I was able to continue to pull on his testicles while rubbing his penis all over my vaginal lips and clit. I could even feel GIGI’s vibration in my pelvis. It was so hot!”
Kevin: “I begged for release, the vibration intensity increased with Gina sitting on my lower abdomen. I could hardly stand it. She was rocking back and forth, my dick head barley entering her pussy.”
Gina: “I came twice in rapid succession, then had mercy on my poor butt-boy Kevin. I just touched the underside of his penis with one hand and sperm shot out of him like a canon. He made this incredible animal noise and thrashed beneath me. This brought me to climax one more time and then I slid off him.”
Kevin: “I swear I came so hard it was time to notify the next of kin.”
Gina: “I would have my turn with
GIGI the very next day. Basically Kevin and I changed positions. I began to pleasure myself with the vibe; first outside my vagina, then inside. Kevin insisted that I surrender myself to him, as he did to me. And master that he is, he orally pleasured me while he altered the GIGI pulsations on my G-spot. I was over the top in a matter of a couple minutes.”
Kevin: “It’s so much fun sharing our toys. We play really well together.”
Gina: “Because silicone products are nonporous and hypoallergenic, care and cleaning are a snap. For everyday cleanup a mild soap and water wash is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sterilizing is recommended. You can swish the silicone end of
GIGI in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, dry it off and then it’s ready to go. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
…full review here


ENJOY

Be sure to look for more LELO reviews in weeks to come.



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Totally Wacky

Sex Fans, The Dr Dick Review Crew has something totally wacky for ya today. It’s a WhackSock! Say WHAT? You heard me; a WhackSock. It’s a sock ya wear on your cock when ya wank. How fun is that? I guess it’s intended to keep your spooge off the furniture, don’t’ cha know.

This week’s Review Crew:

  • Glenn & Hank

WhackSock 6 pack $9.99

Glenn: “I got this huge smile on my face today, because I had a flashback to when I was a kid. I started masturbating when I was 11, but nothing came out till I was almost 13. Before I was able to ejaculate I could cum multiple time in one session. But once I started to shoot a wad when I wanked I could only cum once per session. Actually, I only had to wait a few minutes before I could resume my diddling.”
Hank: “I think they call that the ‘refactory period’. It’s part of a male’s sexual response cycle.”
Glenn: “Yeah, I know that! So as I was saying, before Professor Bingo over here interrupted me, I was surprised as all get out when I shot my first spunk. I thought I had injured myself. Since I was totally unprepared for the eruption I had to do something with the evidence ASAP. My mother would soon round the corner and come barging into my room.”
Hank: “Did she bust you spankin’ the monkey?”
Glenn: “Not that time, I’m happy to say! It took some quick thinkin on my part. But I label_low_20rez_1_-276x350discovered that ya could hide your boy juice in a dirty sock, and your old lady wouldn’t be the wiser.”
Hank: “Damn, you’re clever! I’d be willing to bet the just about every guy on the planet has dropped a load into a sock at one point or another.”
Glenn: “Yeah, it’s probably something in our DNA, huh? So anyway, that’s why I had to laugh when Dr Dick asked us to review the
WhackSock. My masturbation-obsessed youth came flooding back to me.”
Hank: “I know, I used to discard the socks I busted a nut in. I was afraid my mom would find me out. This, of course, backfired one day when my ever-vigilant mother uncovered a tangle of crusty socks in the trash. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. This precipitated the big ‘sex talk’ with mommy that make my skin crawl. I was also marched off to confession to tell the priest about my disgusting and sinful behavior.”
Glenn: “I’ll bet the priest got off on that, huh?”
Hank: “Probably! I was a strappin’ young lad of over 6’ tall with ragin’ hormones and an unruly big dick. I was hung over 8” when I was just 15. It was so embarrassing, because I used to pop wood at the drop of a hat. I though having a big, precum drippon’ dick was a curse.”
Glenn: “Glad you got over that, cuz I love your one-eyed monster. But we digress! Let’s get whacksockback to the WhackSock. It’s a specifically designed cottony sock made for male masturbation. At least that’s what it says on the
WhackSock site.”
Hank: “Yep, it’s basically a tubesox; no bigger than what a young kid might wear on his feet. But it does stretch.”
Glenn: “And that’s where the fun began for us. Hank and I went to a costume party last month and our costumes consisted of a
WhackSock and nothing more. Hank’s trouser snake was the life of the party, literally and figuratively.”
Hank: “The stretchy cotton material could barely contain my johnson, so to speak.”
Glenn: “And it was all over when he got a boner! I loved it. I got to tell everyone that I am the lucky man that gets to have that hog up my ass whenever I want it. Tell me that didn’t make me the envy of all the queens at the party.”
Hank: “When we got home from the party, we both blissfully beat off into our
WhackSock, just like god intended.”

…full review here

ENJOY

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