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9 Sex Resolutions Every Woman Should Make for the New Year


By Danielle Friedman

For those of us who make New Year’s resolutions, we too often focus on doing less—eating less sugar, drinking less booze, spending less time in pajamas binge-watching The Crown. And while those goals may be worthy (though, really, The Crown is pretty great), this year, we’d also like to encourage women to do more—when it comes to pleasure.

As research consistently shows, the “orgasm gap” between men and women is real. A study published this year in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior found that, while 95 percent of heterosexual men said they usually-to-always orgasm when sexually intimate, only 65 percent of heterosexual women said the same. Meanwhile, along with simply feeling good, orgasms bring an impressive list of health benefits, from decreased stress to better sleep. “There’s freedom in pleasure,” Kait Scalisi, MPH, a sex educator and counselor and instructor at the Institute for Sexual Enlightenment in New York City, tells Health.

Convinced yet? We culled sexual health research and called on Scalisi’s expertise to bring you nine tips for getting the pleasure you deserve in 2018.

Carve out time for solo pleasure

If masturbation feels self-indulgent, that’s because it is—in the best way possible. Still, in a recent national survey out of Indiana University, one in five women said they had never masturbated in their lifetime—and only 40.8% said they had masturbated in the past month. In the year ahead, consider devoting more time exclusively to solo sexual satisfaction.

“The more you learn about your body and what feels good—and what doesn’t feel good—the more you can bring that into partner sex,” says Scalisi. And if you aren’t having sex with a partner, well, “the more you are able to bring yourself oodles of pleasure.”

Try a vibrator

Thanks to lingering stigmas around sex and pleasure, many women still feel too shy to purchase a vibrator. But research shows this is changing: In the same Indiana University survey, about half of women said they had used a sex toy. And that’s a good thing!

“Vibrators give us one more way to explore what feels good and what doesn’t,” says Scalisi. And the more methods we experiment with, “the more flexible we’ll be in terms of our ability to experience pleasure.” If you haven’t given one a whirl, why not start now?

Focus on foreplay

For the majority of women, research has shown that intercourse alone isn’t enough to orgasm—but a little bit of foreplay can go a long way. “One of the most common things I hear from clients is that [sex moves] too fast, from kiss kiss to grab grab,” says Scalisi. “Most women need time to transition from their day to sexy time. And that’s really what foreplay allows.”

Foreplay can start hours before the act. “When you say good-bye in the morning, have a longer, lingering hug,” she says. Send flirty texts during the day, or read or listen to erotic novels on your commute. As for in-the-moment foreplay, make time for kissing, touching, and massaging. “That allows the body to really experience a higher level of pleasure, and then satisfaction.”

Resolve to never fake an orgasm

If you’ve faked it during sex, you’re not alone. But chances are, if you’re feigning an orgasm, whether to avoid hurting a partner’s feelings or to hurry sex along, you’re missing out on having a real one. And if you want to be having a real one, that’s a situation worth remedying. “If [your partner isn’t] stimulating you in the way you enjoy, have that conversation,” says Scalisi. Maybe not in the heat of the moment, but at a later time when you’re feeling connected.

Don’t apologize for body parts you don’t like

When we’re self-conscious about our bodies during sex, we’re distracted from the act itself—and when we’re distracted, research shows, the quality of sex can suffer.

“So much of what impacts sex has nothing to do with the mechanics of sex,” says Scalisi. A very worthy goal for sex in 2018 is to “learn to be with your body as it is. You don’t necessarily have to be totally in love with it, but just be with it as it is. That allows you to be present, and to process sensation in a more pleasurable way.”

Try a new move or position

Changing up your sexual routine can feel daunting if you’re not especially sexually adventurous, but a tiny bit of risk can bring big rewards. Just the act of trying something new together can help you feel more connected to your partner, “no matter how it turns out!,” says Scalisi. “It can be a tweak to a position that you already know and love or an entirely new position. It can be as big or as small, as adventurous or as mundane, as you and your partner are comfortable with.”

Discover a new erogenous zone

Women’s bodies are filled with erogenous zones—some of which you may only stumble upon if you go looking! (Did you know the forearm ranks among women’s most sensitive parts?) “Have a sexy date night in,” says Scalisi. “Strip down and take the time to explore your partner’s body from head to toe. … The goal here is not orgasm. The goal is to answer the question: What else feels good? What else turns me on?”

Watch woman-directed porn

When women call the shots in porn—literally and figuratively—the final product tends to be “a bit more realistic and a bit more body- and sex-positive” than male-directed porn, says Scalisi, “and that means you can see a bit more of yourself of it.” Not only is women-directed porn excellent for stoking desire and arousal, but it can also inspire new ideas for your IRL sex life.

Speak up if you’d like your partner to touch you differently

It doesn’t have to be awkward! And even if it is, it’s worth it in the long run. “If you’re in the moment, rather than focus on the negative stuff, focus on what would feel good,” says Scalisi. “So rather than say, ‘I don’t like that you’re doing this,’ say ‘It would feel so good if you stroked me softly.’” Then, later, consider having a conversation about your likes and dislikes.

Complete Article HERE!


5 Simple Sex Positions You Actually Haven’t Tried Yet


By Anthea Levi

Trying something new in bed can be intimidating. But attempting the unknown between the sheets comes with thrilling benefits. Besides giving you the chance to discover new erogenous zones and orgasm triggers, “it’s a great way to practice asking or telling your partner what you want,” says Nicole Tammelleo, a psychotherapist specializing in sexuality and women’s health at Maze Women’s Sexual Health in New York City.

Here, Tammelleo shares five sex moves that aren’t crazy hard to pull off. Here’s why: “Most of these are variations on things you’ve probably already been doing,” she says. Read on for the hottest positions you didn’t know you needed to try, then give them a very thorough test drive.

CAT (coital alignment technique)

Get into the standard missionary position, with you on your back and your partner on top of you. “What’s different is that the man moves upward, so his whole body sits a little bit farther up against your body, with his head slightly past yours,” explains Tammelleo. The goal is to align your pelvises so the base of his penis and pubic bone stimulate your clitoris as he thrusts up and down—rather than in and out.

Besides giving you the direct clitoral action most women need to reach orgasm during intercourse, your partner’s penis is able to enter your vagina at a higher angle so it’s more likely to reach your G-spot too, she says. Win-win!

Swinging bishop

Don’t let the name scare you off. The swinging bishop position is a sexy spin on good-old cozy spoon style. As you and your partner are spooning on your right side, lift your top (left) leg and move it behind you slightly so that it drapes over your SO’s legs. “This allows the man to penetrate even deeper, and also allows for better access to her clitoris, either with a vibrator or fingers,” says Tammelleo.

One-legged stork

If you like the way it feels to have your legs high in the air but hate the cramping that can result, this one’s for you. Lie down on the bed on your back, and have your partner face you while resting on his knees, explains Tammelleo. “Instead of you putting both legs up in the air, keep one stretched out straight on the bed and lift the other.”

The benefit? Many women find it painful on the lower back to keep both legs extended toward the ceiling; going halfsies can be more comfy. The more comfortable the position, the longer you can get it on, so you’ll have plenty of time for a slow build to a hot orgasm.

The accordion

Let’s just say the accordion makes all those #legday squats worth it. Have your partner rest on his back with his knees bent in the air. From there, you basically squat on top of him, straddling his legs so your thighs are hugging his, your feet flat on the bed.

“This is a variation of girl on top that similarly allows the woman to be in control,” says Tammelleo. Don’t feel bad if your thighs start to burn stat. “What often happens is that you start in accordion and then move onto something else.” Try this squat-centric position and work yourselves up, then transition into a more comfy pose when it’s time to reach the finish line, like cowgirl.

Good vibrations

Doing it doggie style lets you relax and enjoy every sensation as your SO does most of the work. But most women can’t reach orgasm from intercourse alone, confirms Tammelleo, so unless you stimulate yourself during the action (or your partner reaches around and does it for you while he’s thrusting), you might miss out on climaxing.

The solution is to tuck a small clitoral vibrator between your pelvis and the bed. Let it rest against your clitoris or labia, and let the vibrator help you hit that high note while you focus on how awesome sex feels. Of course, you can use a vibrator to enhance any position. But when it’s underneath your body during doggie style, it’ll feel less intrusive and more like a sexy secret.

Complete Article HERE!


Stuck in a rut?


The six ways you can spice up your sex life in 2018

By Jacob Polychronis

With 2018 on the horizon, many are taking stock and planning lifestyle changes for the New Year.

And although it may not receive a mention around the family dinner table, spicing things up in the bedroom is set to make the list for some.

Here to tell you how is sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein from the Sex and Life podcast, who has revealed to FEMAIL her six top tips to help your sex life in 2018.


Before working on anything in the bedroom with your partner, harmony needs to be achieved outside of it, Dr Goldstein said

She added: ‘If you are stuck on issues, you’re not going to want to work on things in the bedroom.

‘If we go with the theory that the brain is the biggest sexual organ – which I believe is true, especially for woman – holding onto a grudge or feelings of resentment because of something a partner did or didn’t do can really affect sexual connection.’

Dr Goldstein said improvement will ‘organically flow’ into the bedroom if conflicts are resolved, as couples begin to feel more connected and in love.


Dr Goldstein said couples should assess the overall level of satisfaction in their relationship and what they can do to improve excitement within it.

Increasing the amount of date nights, spontaneous acts of generosity and even gift-giving can improve relationship satisfaction.

Subsequently, the level of arousal for each other will increase and lead to a positive effect in the bedroom, Dr Goldstein said.


Individuals have a tendency to review their sex life with their partner in the style of an unemotional report, Dr Goldstein said

She added: ‘We may often talk about sex with our partner, but we don’t know how to do it properly

Listing what desires are going unfulfilled can make partners feel defeated and have a negative effect on intimacy.

‘Instead, discuss your desires but in a seductive manner,’ Dr Goldstein said

‘Say things like: “It would really turn me on if we did this”, or “I had this fantasy and I would really like to explore it with you”.’


While men may be ready in an instant, women take longer to warm up to the thought of having sex, Dr Goldstein explained

Men in heterosexual relationships need to be aware of this and act accordingly to ensure a more pleasurable experience for both parties”

‘More foreplay helps switch on the brain, but also increases blood-flow to the genitals which makes sex feel better,’ Dr Goldstein said.


And for when the time finally comes – use more lube, Dr Goldstein recommended.

‘We are increasingly looking at longer, harder and faster as our aim,’ she said.

‘Whether that’s right or not, people are doing it, and so you don’t want someone to get in an uncomfortable position and reach for the bottle when it’s too late.’


‘This step is about trying something different because we tend to get into behavioural patterns,’ Dr Goldstein said.

Using a sex toy, trying a new position or having sex in a different room are among the variations couples can use to try and spice things up.

Dr Goldstein added: ‘If you look at the definition of ‘kinky’, it’s something different or unusual. It doesn’t have to involve a whip.’

Complete Article HERE!


Gay people are better at sex, according to science


By Ryan Butcher

Gay people might have faced generations of persecution, harassment and social torment, but finally, science has dealt them a decent hand: they’re apparently better at sex.

We’re being facetious, of course. But research published this year suggests that the above is true.

A study looking at the differences in orgasm frequency among gay, bisexual and heterosexual men and women suggests that same-sex partners are better at bringing their lovers to ecstasy than their heterosexual counterparts.

This is reliant on the premise that good sex is defined by the frequency of orgasms.

The study, published by a group of researchers, including human sexuality expert David Frederick, assistant professor of psychology at Chapman University, says that although heterosexual men were most likely to say they always orgasmed during sex (95 percent), gay men and bisexual men weren’t too far behind (89 percent and 88 percent) respectively.

On top of that, 86 percent of gay women said they always orgasmed, compared with just 66 percent of bisexual women and 65 percent of heterosexual women.

By looking at the higher likelihood of orgasm for gay men and women – and again, on the premise that good sex is defined by the frequency of orgasms – sex between two men or two women could be better than sex between a man and a woman.

Of course, the other glaringly obvious conclusion from this study is that men in general, regardless of sexuality, orgasm more than women, as pointed out by Professor Frederick, who told CNN: “What makes women orgasm is the focus of pretty intense speculation. Every month, dozens of magazines and online articles highlight different ways to help women achieve orgasm more easily. It is the focus of entire books. For many people, orgasm is an important part of sexual relationships.”

The study also found that women were more likely to orgasm if they received more oral sex, had longer duration of sex, were more satisfied in their relationship, asked for what they wanted in bed, praised their partner for something they did in bed, tried new positions, had anal stimulation, acted out fantasies and even expressed love during sex.

Women were also more likely to orgasm if their last sexual encounter included deep kissing and foreplay, as well as vaginal intercourse.

Professor Frederick also suggested that the reason between the orgasm gap could be sociocultural or even evolutionary.

Women have higher body dissatisfaction than men and it interferes with their sex life more. This can impact sexual satisfaction and ability to orgasm if people are focusing more on these concerns than on the sexual experience.

There is more stigma against women initiating sex and expressing what they want sexually. One thing we know is that in many couples, there is a desire discrepancy: One partner wants sex more often than the other. In heterosexual couples, that person is usually the man.

Either way, although this study is good news for gay and bisexual people – regardless of gender – if there’s one thing it proves it’s that even when it comes to orgasms, the patriarchy has struck again.

Complete Article HERE!


Here’s How Long ‘Sexual Afterglow’ Actually Lasts, According to Science


Turns out great sex makes you feel good for longer than you think.


We already know sex is really good for you, and can basically double as medicine. I mean, it increases your immunoglobulin A levels and makes your immune system stronger, protects against certain cancers, helps you sleep betterand it relieves stress and keeps your mental health in check.

That said, it’s no surprise that an activity as healthy and fun as sex leaves you feeling happy and serene, in something commonly known as the sexual “afterglow.”

According to research published in the scientific journal Psychological Science, it turns out that splendid post-coital “glow” is actually all emotional, and comes from the happiness you feel courtesy of the “love hormone” oxytocin.

This actually makes a lot of sense, considering most would argue that a solid romp in the sheets leaves you a sweaty, drained, sleepy mess, even though you feel pretty damn amazing on the inside.

For their research, scientists analyzed the results of two separate studies that each surveyed 100 newlywed couples, where the couples filled out sex diaries for two weeks and recorded how many times they had sex, and how they felt about their relationships in the days following sex.

Not surprisingly, the couples reported increased sexual satisfaction on the days they fooled around, but more importantly, it was discovered that they had higher feelings of intimacy and happiness, a.k.a. the “afterglow,” that lasted for two whole days after a roll in the hay.

Nah, she just got laid.

Furthermore, the researchers discovered that during the afterglow phase, a man’s sperm quality actually decreases, but begins to recover after the third day.

It’s believed that this 48-hour afterglow and the two day decrease in sperm quality work together as an evolutionary remnant intended to keep the happy couple together for at least two days after a good lay, since sperm can only survive for a maximum of two days in the female reproductive tract. And when you can’t bust a high-quality nut for two days, it gives the previously deployed sperm a better chance of reaching the egg.

Did you get all that?

What’s more is that the researchers had the couples reevaluate their relationships four to six months later, and found that those who felt the strongest afterglows were more satisfied with their relationship months later, meaning the better the sex is, the better the relationship. But that’s not too surprising, is it?

“Our research shows that sexual satisfaction remains elevated 48 hours after sex,” says lead author, Dr. Andrea Meltzer. “The afterglow appears to last approximately the same length of time that it takes for peak sperm concentration to be restored.

“And people with a stronger sexual afterglow — that is, people who report a higher level of sexual satisfaction 48 hours after sex — report higher levels of relationship satisfaction several months later.”

To conclude, let’s sum up the entire study into one simple sentence: You feel sexually satisfied for two whole days after sex, and it’s only because you subconsciously want to knock up your lady with your high-quality sperm. The end.

Complete Article HERE!