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We are what we consume!


Name: Norm
Gender:  Male
Age: 27
Location: St. Louis
How dangerous is Ecstasy? Are the herbal substitutes any safer?

Good question.  Unfortunately, it’s so hard to categorically say how dangerous any particular drug is; there are so many variables.  For example, aspirin can be deadly to some people.  If pharmaceuticals are risky, you can be sure that street drugs are way more so, because you never know how adulterated they are due to careless processing.

Simply put, everything we ingest comes with some risk.  The spinach salad you’ll have for lunch could kill you.  Inevitably, it comes down to the individual.  Is the alleged thrill worth the risk?  Sometimes that’s an easier call than at other times.  My rule of thumb is the more organic the substance and the fewer chemicals involved the better.  But there’s always the possibility that a person will have an adverse reaction to even the purest most organic active ingredient.  So beware.

Ecstasy is an amphetamine that has been chemically altered to give it its hallucinogenic property.  Researchers believe it is potentially toxic to the brain and persistent use can cause serious liver damage. At the same time, ecstasy is being used to help ease dying cancer patients deal with the end of life.

So-called herbal substitutes consist of a variety of compounds. Some of which have been associated with liver inflammation. All of these substitutes have some sort of compound that causes what is known as sympathetic stimulation, because it stimulates the sympathetic nervous system. This results in a state of heightened excitability. Specifically, they increase heart rate, body temperature, and blood pressure, and have an effect on muscle tone. This is the same phenomenon that causes a sense of hyper-alertness or the fight or flight response.  Of course one can say the same about caffeine.  Regardless of what the compound is, when you alter your normal physiology and cause excessive stimulation, there will be a price pay.

Drugs, like sex, allow us to transcend ourselves.  At their best, they distract us form the ordinary day-to-day stuff so that we can focus on what’s happening right in the moment.  Both drugs and sex can give us a peak experiences, but they can also devastate. Our ego boundaries go down, but that can leave us vulnerable at best and paranoid at worst.  We can have a heightened sense of connectedness, or a keen sense of isolation.

If it’s a good sex or drug trip, we want to chase the experience longer than we should.  We go to great lengths to postpone the return to the humdrum of daily live.  This relentless pursuit, more often than not, leads us out of bliss and into despair.  Just ask the addict that is looking for just one more hit.

Some people report that ecstasy increases their self-confidence and their ability to connect with others.  It can make sex seem otherworldly. But ecstasy, while increasing our desire for sex, also diminishes our ability to perform. There’s nothing more frustrating than wanting to fuck, but being unable to because of a limp dick.

That’s why lots of party boys mix drugs like Viagra, or another erection educing pharmaceuticals with their Ex.  However, this can be a fatal combination.  Also, men under the influence are much more likely to think with their dicks, which is a prescription for risky sex. Sex under the influence can also get a whole lot rougher than one anticipates, because we’re unable to process physical sensations like normal.

Finally, there’s the basic law of physics.  What goes up must come down.  Remember, the higher the high, the lower the low.  Count on it!

Name: Trisha
Gender: female
Age: 22
Location: Galveston
I want to surprise my BF with a special anniversary dinner.  We’ve been dating for two whole years and just moved in together.  I want to make something special and sexy.  Got any ideas?

Ahhh yes, as we all know, the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…or is it his zipper?  Well, whatever!  I’m assuming that you want this little repast to be a prelude to some hot monkey sex, right?  I love the sound of that!  In ever culture I know of, sex and food have always been intimately linked.

There are a variety of foods that arouse feelings of love and that do wonders for one’s romantic life, at least according to one or another culture.  Everything from black beans to cabbage, from bananas and strawberries to oysters; all have been reported to stir amorous feeling in the consumer.  Are they true aphrodisiacs?  Who knows?  Maybe it’s the combination of the loving preparation, the mutual enjoyment and feelings of being full and satisfied that is the big turn on.

People first sought aphrodisiacs as a remedy for various sexual difficulties, especially performance anxiety.  Aphrodisiacs are also thought to boost both male and female potency.  In ancient times nutrition was always an issue. Food hasn’t always been as available as it is today.  And of course, nothing pulls the plug on the libido like malnutrition.  And hunger radically reduces fertility rates.

Our forbearers believed that anything in nature that looked like or represented the male seed, such as bulbs, eggs, snails were considered to have sexual powers. Other types of foods were considered stimulating because they physically resembled genitalia.

Here are a few things to consider as you plan your menu. Greeks and Romans believed aniseed had special powers. Sucking on the seeds is said to increases your desire.  Or maybe it just freshened the breath enough to get close enough to fuck.

Asparagus has a phallic shape.  It’s also fun to feed your lover.  Steamed spears in a pungent lemon dipping sauce will make for a sensuous experience.

Almonds have been a symbol of fertility throughout the ages.  The aroma is thought to induce passion in a female.  Arugula or “rocket” has been considered an aphrodisiac since the first century A.D.  This ingredient was added to grated orchid bulbs and parsnips and also combined with pine nuts and pistachios for a full-on erotic feast. Try an Arugula salad or use it in a pasta sauce with basil another herb said to stimulate the sex drive and boost fertility.

The Aztecs called the avocado tree the “testicle tree” for obvious reasons. The fruit hanging in pairs, as it does, resembles a man’s balls. Serve this fruit with its sensuous texture in slices with a small amount of Balsamic vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

Bananas have a marvelous phallic shape.  But from a more practical standpoint bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessities for sex hormone production.

The Aztecs referred to chocolate as the “nourishment of the Gods”. Chocolate contains chemicals thought to effect neurotransmitters in the. It also contains more antioxidants than does red wine.  Here’s a tip, combine the two.  Have a glass of Cabernet with a bit of dark chocolate for dessert.

Carrots are believed to be a stimulant to the male. The phallic shape has long been associated with stimulation since ancient times.  Early Middle Eastern royalty used carrots as an aid to their seductions.

The book of The Arabian nights tells a tale of a merchant who had been childless for 40 years and but was cured by a concoction that included coriander. Cilantro is also known as an “appetite” stimulant.

Fennel, like anise, was found to be a source of natural plant estrogens.  Use of fennel as an aphrodisiac dates back to the ancient Egyptians.

An open fig looks like a vagina.  And traditionally it is thought of as sexual stimulant.  A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerful erotic act. Serve fresh ripe figs in a bowl of cool of water as they do in Italy.  Be sure to eat with your fingers!

The ‘heat’ in garlic is said to stir sexual desires. Garlic has been used for centuries to cure everything from the common cold to heart ailments.

Ginger root raw, cooked, pickled or crystallized is a powerful stimulant to the circulatory system. And what is good sex if it isn’t all about healthy blood flow?

The Egyptian believed that honey was a cure for sterility and impotence.  Medieval seducers plied their partners with Mead, a fermented drink made from honey.  Lovers on their “Honeymoon” drank mead and it was thought to “sweeten” the marriage.

Chewing on bits of licorice root is said to enhance love and lust. It is particularly stimulating to women. Mustard, maybe because of its bite, is believed to stimulate the sex glands and increase desire. Chinese women prize nutmeg as an aphrodisiac.  In quantity nutmeg can also produce a hallucinogenic effect.

Oysters are legendary aphrodisiacs.  They of course resemble a pussy, but they are also very nutritious and high in protein.

Zinc is a key mineral necessary to maintaining male potency.  Zinc is also reported to heighten sexual performance in both women and men.  An essential good mood nutrient, it triggers the feel-good brain chemical serotonin. Pine nuts are rich in zinc.   They have been used to stimulate the libido as far back as medieval times.

Pineapple is rich in vitamin C and is used in the homeopathic treatment for impotence. Raspberries and strawberries are perfect finger foods for hand feeding your lover. Both of these luscious fruits are described in erotic literature as fruit nipples.

Tomatoes, known as the “love apple” are considered love food, because they have great nutritional value and their acidity is considered a sex stimulant.

The scent and flavor of vanilla is believed to increase lust.  Fill tall Champagne glasses to the rim and add a vanilla bean for a heady, bubbly treat.

Eating is so much more than just chewing and swallowing.  So don’t forget about the presentation.  Food that is colorful and attractive to the eye gets one in a good mood. The smell of the food cooking exhilarates the senses and sets in motion feelings of arousal.

Good luck ya’ll

Some assembly required!

Hi Dr Dick,
Happy (belated) New Year! I have two questions for you:
1. I am taking a long time to cum when I’m given a blowjob or hand job and eventually I need to stroke off on my own (for a pretty long time as well). However, I cum pretty quickly when I masturbate while watching porn. Am I masturbating to porn too much? I have also masturbated to porn for years before I started having sex recently (I’m not sure whether this could be a reason as well).
2. You mention that we shouldn’t use soup while cleaning our anus. Why is that so? I just read about douching but I have been cleaning my anus with warm water, soap, and finger. Is that ok?
Thanks in advance!  — Ken

Can’t hardly say if you are masturbating to porn too much.  I mean, what is too much anyway?  And since you don’t go into detail; I’ll let that issue rest.

What I can tell you is that partnered sex, regardless of the activity (blowjobs, hand jobs or full-on fucking) is a whole lot different than solo sex (with or without porn).  I can also assure you that your body has become sensitized to your particular grip and stroke over the years of you pullin your own pud.  Another person’s grip and stroke (pussy or asshole) will rarely satisfy in the same efficient manner.  This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but you do have to keep that in mind.  And perhaps your sexual response will change with time as you enjoy more and varied partnered sex.

In terms of you taking too long (whatever that means) to cum when you are with a partner, maybe you need to quit trying so hard to get off and lay back and enjoy the sensations you’re getting from your partner.  And here’s a tip; use your biggest sex organ, your brain, to replay some of that hot porn action in your head while you are gettin head.  That will surely hasten things along, if ya know what I mean.

In terms of your next question about keeping your hole clean; you may have misunderstood previous comments I’ve made about anal douching.  Soap and water is the preferred method of keeping the outside of your ass clean.  And while you’re scrubbin’ your crack, you could use your fingertip to clean out your rosebud.  But don’t force soap beyond your sphincter.  You have delicate membranes in your rectum that will be irritated by the soap, even a mild soap.

If you need to douche, I suggest a solution of a few drops of lemon juice in warm water.   Some men prefer the convenience of a shower bidet.

Name: Mike P
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
My girlfriend needs to watch lesbian porn to get off and sometimes kicks me out of the bedroom to masturbate by herself.  Initially I was turned on by her desire to watch porn — but now — it’s become a blockage.  She always needs porn.  I am frustrated and to make things worse — she has started abusing me through financial manipulation. I have to pay her rent — pay for her food, pay everything — and she never gives me nookie.
Should I leave this woman?

Time to wake up, fella!  Your “girlfriend” — and I use that term very loosely — is decidedly not YOUR girlfriend, and possibly not any man’s girlfriend.  I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and say; I think your “girlfriend” is a certifiable, died-in-the wool, muff-divin’, coochie-lovin’ lesbiterian.  All that remains for her to do, to make the picture perfectly clear…even for you, is to show up one day in a mullet and a flannel shirt.  Holy cow, Mike, how is it that you are missing the obvious?

Listen, bub, you’re excess baggage.  Your “friend” keeps you around for comic relief…oh and to foot the bill.

Should you leave this woman; you ask.  Honey, she’s beaten you to the punch on that one.  She’s long gone and done left you way behind, at least emotionally and sexually.  All you need to do is find the door, say good-bye to this sorry situation and make a hasty exit.

Name: Michelle
Gender: Female
Age: 22
Location: Canada
Tips to help when the man you’re sleeping with has a small penis.

Tips?  No pun intended, I hope.

Ok, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it.  Tip #2, find a guy with more pork.  Tip #3, get a dildo.  Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got.  Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.

Ok, seriously I do have a couple of suggestions beyond the flippant ones I just mentioned.  For example, Tip #3 still stands.  Find yourself a dildo, one that your partner can wield when he’s around.  If you introduce the concept in a positive way, you may find that Mr. Mini-meat will go for it big time.  You see, most guys with small endowments already know they may have a problem satisfying some women (or men for that matter).  But most guys, regardless of cock size, are always interested in pleasuring their partner, even when it’s not with their own magic wand.

May I suggest that you check out the swell array of dildos available at Dr Dick’s Stockroom?  You’ll find a link to this treasure trove on the top of this page.  Hey, you may even want to shop online together.  You may be surprised at the one your guy picks out for you.

While you lovebirds are checking out the dildo section at Dr Dick’s Stockroom, take a moment to search for a Cyberskin Penis Extension.

You’re gonna love this.  The new Cyberskin line of products represents a significant advance in pecker extensions that feel like the real thing. The rubber on the surface of this extension feels hauntingly like human skin. But the inside part of the (1.5″ or 3″) extension is much firmer.  It is soft and supple on the surface, but hard and rigid inside.  Mmmm, hard and rigid!

Visually, the shape, texture, and coloration of these extensions are designed to create a realistic effect as well.  They look realistic and they feel realistic.

There’s a trick to putting on one of these puppies, don’t ‘cha know.  You roll up the sleeve until it’s all the way up around the extension. Then place it against the head of your guy’s stiff dick.  Roll the bugger down snugly around his unit, sealing his peanut inside the sleeve.  A partial seal will form, helping keep the extension on during the fuck-fest.

Wearing this extension will add both length and thickness to his precious willie. It will of course reduce the sensation in his cock, but that’s not always bad thing.  Guys with a short fuse may find the decrease in stimulation an aid to controlling his ejaculation, while he’s giving more and longer pleasure to his partner.  And a lot of guys love the feeling of having their cock sealed inside the rubbery sleeve.  Mmmm, sealed inside rubbery sleeve!

Name: Jack
Gender: Male
Age: 42
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick observations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no Dr Dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his johnson.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck ya’ll

SEX WISDOM with Shai Rotem – Podcast #179 – 01/13/10

Hey sex fans,

I have a fantastic show in store for you.  I am delighted to inform you that I am launching yet another podcast series today.  I call it the SEX WISDOM podcast series.

Besides the wildly popular Sex EDGE-U-cation series and The Erotic Mind series that have been running for the past year and longer, I thought it would be grand to chat with some of the movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality.   So in the course of this new series we will be chatting with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.  I can assure you that these conversations will be well worth the time you spend with us.

I have chosen a remarkable man as my first guest.  His name is Shai Rotem.  He is a certified surrogate partner; or a sex surrogate, if you prefer.  And he’s here to tell us about the critical work he is doing with his clients.  This is fascinating stuff, sex fans!  Please stay tuned.

Shai and I discuss:

  • A working definition of the term Surrogate Partner.
  • How a sex surrogate differs from a sex worker.
  • Being part of a scripted therapeutic intervention.
  • Surrogate partner therapy and the law.
  • Who can benefit from surrogate partner therapy.
  • The impact of a repressive religious upbringing on sexual wellbeing.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Sensate Focus Techniques.

Shai invites you to learn more about surrogate partner therapy by visiting the International Professional Surrogates Association’s website HERE!


Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.


Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.


A little dab’ll do ya!

Sex fans, we have a load of lovely lubes to tell you about.  We received five of the hottest selling Boy Butter products to test, and test we did!  In fact, The Dr Dick Review Crew has pert near wore out their parts testing this stuff.  What we won’t do in the name of science.

Review Crew members; Mick & Chuck, Kevin & Gina, Jack & Karen and Carlos walk us around these products.
Boy Butter Warming 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $20.99

Gina & Kevin

Gina: “We’ve both been wanting to try a warming lube, so I’m glad we were chosen for Boy Butter Warming .”
Kevin: “I like the pump container. It’s easy to use and there’s not the mess that often comes with traditional containers.”BBwarming
Gina: “This stuff really works! With just the first application I could feel the warming sensations. At first, I thought it was going to get too intense for me, but it didn’t.”
Kevin: “It’s a coconut-oil based lube so it’s not compatible with latex condoms. That’s not an issue for us, but I did want to mention that in my review. Also, this is the first creamy lube we’ve used. I was impressed with its lasting power.”
Gina: “I must confess; I had my misgivings at first. I have very sensitive skin and I often have adverse reactions to new lubes. I checked the label on Boy Butter Warming and secretly thought to myself, I can’t even pronounce half of the ingredients. This doesn’t bode well for me using it. At least, that’s what I thought. Curiously enough, I experienced no irritation or discomfort. So yeah for that!”
Kevin: “We love our silicone lubes, but they are a bitch to clean up and they stain clothing. This product however, despite containing silicone and being oil-based, cleaned up in a snap. In fact, it cleaned up like a water-based lube.”

Boy Butter 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $16.99

This is the original formula Boy Butter. It comes in several different packaging options, so you may have seen it in a tub or a squeeze bottle. Personally, I think this E-Z pump is the best. It’s easy to handle, and you can dispense just the right amount of lube you need every time. The plastic top keeps it from accidentally messing up anything else it may come in contact with.BBoriginal

I really like the creamy consistency of Boy Butter. It lasts longer than other oil-based lubes I’ve tried; and I’ve tried plenty. The organic coconut-oil base keeps it slick and silky. I’ve never found a better jack-off lube than Boy Butter. It even outlasts my favorite silicone-based lube.  I’m sold on this product.

Keep in mind; you can’t use Boy Butter with latex condoms.

Clean up is pretty easy too, soap and warm water will do.  It’s so much easier to clean up than my favorite silicone-based lube.


Boy Butter H2O 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $16.99

Jack & Karen

Jack: “Damn, this stuff is great!”BBLh2o
Karen: “This is the first creamy formula water-based lube I’ve eve seen. I didn’t even know you could make such a thing.”
Jack: “We concur with all our fellow reviewers, Boy Butter H2O last long, never gets sticky. We really like the pump container too. Very convenient!”
Karen: “This formula is perfect for use with latex condoms. And because it is water-based, clean up is a breeze. It won’t stain clothing or beading either. And that’s a big plus in my book.”
Jack: “Neither one of us experienced any negative reactions to this lube; no irritation, nothing. And we used it for fucking, not just for jillin’ or jackin’ off.
Karen: “Yeah, I was really surprised by this. I’m always very careful about what I put near, on or in my pussy. But knock on wood, I’ve had no adverse reaction at all.”
Jack: “Kudos for great packaging and branding. It’s fun and smart. Funny, up until we got Boy Butter H2O to review, I had never heard of the company. I wonder, is it a product line that is primarily marketed to gay men?

Boy Butter Extreme 5 oz. E-Z Pump —— $17.99

Boy Butter Extreme Desensitizing H20 Based 5 oz EZ-Pump —— $19.25

Mick & ChuckBBextremeEZ

Mick: “We have a little confession to make. Chuck and I had already used Boy Butter Extreme before we were asked to review it.”
Chuck: “We hadn’t used the H20 Based formula and we really wanted to, so we asked if we could test both products.”
Mick: “Until we tried the H20 Based one, we thought Boy Butter Extreme was the best such product on the market. We’ve tired several other desensitizing products, but we liked Boy Butter Extreme best.”
Chuck: “Sometimes Mick has difficulty relaxing into butt sex. I’m not tooting my own horn here, but I’m hung 8.5”, pretty thick too.”
Mick: “Trust me, it’s a sight to behold. But it’s true; I have a tendency to tighten up when I’m just getting started in a fuck. Boy Butter Extreme helps me over this initial phase allows me to enjoy all that is to come.”
Chuck: “I love the pump container. Both products are long-lasting and remain slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy. I hate it when lubes get sticky!”
Mick: “Both products use the maximum amount of Benzocaine (7.5%) allowed by law. So you know this is industrial strength!”BBextremeH2O
Chuck: “Some people have an adverse reaction to Benzocaine. If you do, these are not the products for you.”
Mick: “I am so happy that Boy Butter make a H20 formula, because Chuck has to use a condom when I use either of these products. And the H20 Based version is condom safe.”
Chuck: “I was just about to mention that. We had an unfortunate experience a while back when we first started using desensitizing lubes and whatnot. I didn’t wear a condom and my dick became desensitized too.”
Mick: “Come to think of it, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing for a guy who has a real short fuse, right? The Benzocaine would probably just the thing to help him last longer.”
Chuck: “Oh, and may I suggest that you use these products sparingly. A little goes a very long way. You certainly don’t want to over use either of these lubes. It will take all the fun out of the fuck for both top and bottom; you’ll not be able to feel a thing.”
Mick: “Exactly, ya simply want to apply a small amount of Boy Butter Extreme (or the H20 Based formula) to your finger, insert it into your ass. Smooth it around till you’ve lightly coated your sphincter. You will notice the numbing effect in a minute or two. Remember, you can always add more if needed, but you can’t eliminate it once it’s been applied. At least, not without soap and water.”



Hey sex fans,

More Q&A today with the bonus links to my HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY (see the VOD tab at the top of the page?) that will further educate or enrich the person who is asking the question.

Think of it as at HOMEWORK or further study on the topic at hand.  I hope all of you will benefit from this terrific instructional and enriching resource.  (Click on the images below for viewing information.)

Name: Ramish
Gender:  Male
Age: 19
Location: UK
I’m nervous about having sex?  I have been masturbating since I was 11, but I can’t work up the courage to try it with anyone else.  I don’t even know if I’m gay or straight.  How do I get over being so nervous?

Holy cow, that is nervous.  I suggest that you begin by taking stock of yourself — physically, emotionally and sexually.  I’m gonna ask you some questions and you can take all the time you need to ponder your answers.  Here’s a tip, write these down; and if you have difficulty answering any of them ask a buddy for his or her input.

What’s your best physical asset?  Do you think of yourself as attractive in a sexual sort of a122116_xlfway?  If not, what could you do to spruce things up a little?  Listen, the more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more confident you’ll be in connecting with other for sex and relationships.  If you know yourself well enough to know your best assets, you’ll be able to put your best stuff forward, right?

What do you find sexually attractive about others — both women and men?  Chances are that if you haven’t already discovered if you are straight or gay, you might be bi.

When you masturbate, what goes through your head?  What are your sexual fantasies?  Do you fantasize about sexual situations with others?  Anything in particular?  Anyone in particular?

When you say you are nervous about sex; does that have to do with possible rejection?  Or is it more to do with performance — ya know, not knowing what to do once the situation arises, so to speak?  Is there anyone you feel safe enough with, a pal perhaps, you could talk this through with?  If you feel emotionally safe, or safe from potential shame and humiliation with this person, it might be easier to open up him or her.  Just remember, everyone’s been were you are at one point in his or her life.

Are you comfortable with being nude, at least by yourself?  Lots of people aren’t.  Are you able to admire yourself in the mirror without comparing yourself to the unrealistic expectations about the human body that comes to us from the popular culture? If you are not comfortable with being naked, think about the reasons why you’re not.  Again, if it’s body image issues, maybe you need to get in better shape, or just let go of your idealized notions about physical attractiveness.

a93626_xlfDo you know about contraception and sexually transmitted infections? If you don’t, you’re not ready to have sex with anyone else.  Do your homework.  Know what you need to ask a prospective partner in terms of contraception and STIs before an encounter.

OK, so you’re familiar with pleasuring yourself.  That’s a good start.  Would you know how to pleasure a partner?  If you’re not sure, I suggest that you do some research.  There are all kinds of instructional videos out there.  In fact, you’ll find just about everything you are looking for at DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

One thing to remember, the best sex is a mutually satisfying experience. You and your potential partners are different people, with different desires, interests, personality and fantasies. Despite everything you might learn from an instructional video, there is no substitute for asking your partner what he/she likes. You’ll need to be able to respond in kind too.  Being able to communicate your needs and desires is absolutely essential for a happy, fun-filled fuck.

Are you a good kisser?  Do you know how to touch someone else without it being an invitation to sex?  Do you know how to be affectionate, to be close and playful with someone simply for joy of it?  I always suggest to my young clients that they learn how to give a good back rub or foot massage.  Nonseductive touching is as important as knowing how to touch someone sexually.  It’s also how some of the best sex play begins.

Are you making yourself available for a sexual connection?  Nowadays the opportunities for connecting with others for companionship and/or sex abound.  You don’t have to be aggressive in your pursuit, but it ain’t gonna fall in your lap either.

What would it take for you to feel comfortable initiating sex?  This is, of course, the follow-up step to putting yourself out there.  I realize this can be a bit intimidating, but you’re gonna have to push through this, pup. Think about why initiating sex or accepting an invitation to be sexual is difficult for you.

Are you able to be a good friend?  The best sex is more than bumping parts.  It’s a full human-to-human connection.  If you know how to be a good friend, you’re more than half way there to being a good lover.  There are all kinds of sexual expression — romantic to the passionate even spiritual. Sex can be a cuddly and romantic, or it can be hot monkey love.a122404_xlf It can be tender as well as intense.  You ought to have the ability direct the flow, or at least go with it.

Do you have an adventuresome side to you?  Do you like a challenge?  Are you comfortable experimenting with one thing or another?  If you are, you will find these are all valuable assets in making sex happen for you.  There are still a whole lot of sex-negative messages out there in our society.  You’ll need to be strong enough to stand against these repressive currents and pursue your heart’s desire.

In the end, a good sex life takes effort.  It takes knowledge, practice and relationship skills.  A degree of personal openness and a sense of fun and adventure are also very helpful. Learning more about yourself and what makes you tick, will give you an advantage when the time is ready for you to partner up for sex.

Name: Walter
Gender:  Male
Age: 67
Location: Padre Island
I’m a recent widower, I haven’t dated in over 40 years.  I’m still very interested in sex, but things don’t work like they used to down there.  I had a comfortable life with my wife and performance was never an issue. Now that I’m on my own now, I’m afraid I will disappoint, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, I think I do know what you mean.  Getting back into the swing of things after so many years on the shelf a daunting task.  If you layer on sexual performance issues…well the task becomes even harder, no pun intended.

a74931_xlfI know I don’t have to tell you this, but our bodies change as we age.  Our sexual response cycle changes too.  You are familiar with the four stages of the sexual response cycle, right?  In case you are not, they are — arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution.  Despite the changes that aging brings, there’s no good reason why you shouldn’t be able to enjoy a happy, healthy sex life.  Of course, having a healthy mind-set about sex will also help.

A rich and full sex life, possibly even like the one you shared with your recently departed wife, will involve some patience and understanding and possibly some reprogramming of old ways of looking at sex.  For example, performance issues are only a problem if you are expecting something of your body that it cannot deliver.  And if you date within your age group, you’ll find that all your peers will be just as familiar as you with dwindling physical capacities.

So ok, it’s gonna take considerably longer to get a hardon at your age — that’s a given.  This just means you need to take your time, increase and focus the stimulation and while your cock is taking its sweet time to point skyward, enjoy all the sensual pleasures coming your way in the meantime.  That last part is really difficult for us aging men folk.  Sometimes we concentrate so fiercely on gettin our dick hard that we miss all the great pleasuring stuff that is happening all around us.

Once you get your boner goin, I suggest that you add a little stiffy insurance.  Wear a cockring. If you don’t know what that is, check out my Sex Toy Review Site. Use the search function; type in “cockring” and presto!  You’ll find all kinds of information on these helpful little buggers.

I know a number of older men, particularly those with high blood pressure, who are unable to take erection-enhancing meds like Viagra, who are turning to penis pumps to get their wood started.  Not sure what a penis pump is or does.  Well, time to do more online research at my Sex Toy Review Site.  Again, use the search function; type in “penis pump” and presto!  Loads of information about these helpful tools will appear.

I’m hoping that when you say that you and your wife “had a comfortable life” together, where performance was never an issue that you’re telling me that your sex life wasn’t all about getting it up and getting it off.  Sexual pleasure can come through all kinds of sex play — touching, talking, and being physically close, oral sex as well as full on fucking.  I’d be willing to guess that your future partners will appreciate you being a fully sensual lover, not just a sexual performer.

Remember the proverbial cum shot is not the same thing as an orgasm. Lots of seasoned older men are able to be orgasmic without a full erection or an ejaculation.  You may even find that you are capable of several very satisfying mini orgasms instead of the one BIG-O of years past.  I encourage you not to fall into the trap of equating sexual functioning with manliness; that’s a dead end.

a113017_xlfThis challenging new phase in your life, daunting as it might be, can also be an exciting adventure of self-discovery.  You basically have permission to re-imagine and redefine what type of sexual expression suits you best at this stage in your life.  One good way of testing the waters, so to speak is to start with self-pleasuring.  This is the perfect opportunity to experiment with sexual performance enhancing toys like a cockring, vibrator or a penis pump.  If you haven’t done so already, why not discover the pleasures of your ass.  Happily, you don’t need an erection to enjoy some good old-fashioned butt play; your prostate will do all the work.

You may discover you have new or yet unexplored interests in other sexual expressions like role-playing, kink, or maybe even same-sex partners.  Just because your earlier life may have been pretty straight and vanilla, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.  The more you know about your body and what turns you on, the more information you’ll be able to share with your partners.

Unabashedly sharing your newfound sexual experiences and interests with others will be the basis for your future partnered sexual expression. Know that other women and men of your age group are also rediscovering and reawakening their sexuality.  What a great joy it would be to explore the territory together.

I invite you to rekindle your natural curiosity about the wide range of human sexual expression. Take it slow. Learn to communicate effectively: share what makes you feel good with your partners and be sure to ask them what turns them on.  Don’t take yourself too seriously, and keep it playful.  And most of all, keep an open mind about all of this, will ya?

Good luck ya’ll


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