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When you wish upon a star

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort today. They’ve graciously sent us three of their fine products for review and we will be presenting our evaluation of all three in turn. Join me in welcoming the good people at BodyWand.

Today’s review is brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew member — Dixie

Bodywand Rechargeable Massager —— $88.03

I have a marvelous mid-sized wand type massager to tell you about today. Allow me to present the Bodywand Rechargeable Massager. This thing is extraordinary. It’s only about 8 inches long from tip to toe. And it’s cordless! That in itself floats my boat. Listen, I’ve tried battery operated vibes and vibes that plug directly into an AC outlet in the wall. Nothing, and I mean nothing, beats cordless. That being said, I also know that sometimes one has to sacrifice power for mobility. However that is not the case with the Bodywand Rechargeable Massager.

I thought for certain that a diminutive vibe like this wouldn’t be able to deliver the level of vibration a full-sized plug-in vibe like my trusty Hitachi does, but I was oh so wrong. This handy, ergonomically shaped puppy knocks my socks off. It is the sweetest, strongest vibrator, per inch, I have ever used.

Bodywand Rechargeable Massager features a wheel/dial type controller. It is easily manipulated with one finger. You turn it on and off and you dial it up or dial it down, with one motion. And it goes from mild to “OMG, I can barely stand it in” nothing flat. A15-minute charge provides you 30 minutes of bliss. It can also be operated while it is plugged in, so there’s that.

The Bodywand Rechargeable Massager recharges using an AC adaptor that plugs into a port in the handle of the unit. There is a little rubber plug that covers the recharge port to keep the port clean and dry. Here’s a tip; don’t lose the little rubber plug. In my haste to charge the Bodywand Rechargeable Massageronce I got it home, I carelessly set aside the plug not remembering where I put it. It wasn’t until the unit was completely recharged that I had to go search for the plug. Luckily I didn’t discard it with the packaging.

Speaking of the packaging, it’s pretty minimal. A plastic clamshell insert slips in an attractively designed folded cardboard sheath. The package contains the vibe, AC adapter and a velvet drawstring pouch for storage. The Bodywand Rechargeable Massager comes in two colors, green and lavender. I have the green one.

One thing to note, when the Bodywand Rechargeable Massager is operating at high speed there is a good deal of vibration in the handle of the unit. I suppose this is unavoidable seeing its diminutive size. It’s also not particularly quiet, although the promotional materials on the box claim that it is.

The Bodywand website claims that this vibe “can be fitted with an range of attachments to create a palette of sensual delights.” I’m all about attachments for wand type massagers, but neither Dr Dick or I could find any attachments for sale on their website. This was a big disappointment. But, ya know what? I got over it with a little playtime with my new buddy, the Bodywand Rechargeable Massager.

I’m partial to using some lube, even when I’m stimulating myself externally. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information on the package about what the domed head of the massager is made of. I was pretty sure it’s not silicone, so I used a silicone-based lube with it and there were no ill effects. I mention this because silicone-based lube will degrade a fine silicone toy. (Note to manufacturer: it’s always a good idea to include information on the materials used in producing a toy. This helps the consumer make an educated decision on if it is right for her/him and what kind of lube can be used with it.)
Full Review HERE!


Guess What, Honey? I’m A Kinky Old Perv!

And now, by popular demand, a reprint of an old favorite.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big-time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the lowly little bitch that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic—you know, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked til your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toejam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear—Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread.

Dear Dr. Dick,
Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink can be a little tricky; the whole love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go, either. Why not just stand tall like the filthy pervert you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to Little Miss Mary Sunshine? After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life walks with a pronounced limp (or perhaps is suffering from a case of the gout). Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows—s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Case in point. Here’s part of an exchange I had with a young man from Omaha.

Dear Doc,
I’m 23, and I’ve been dating 30-year-old chick for nearly a year now. I come from a very conservative Christian upbringing and I love that she is more experienced than me. My girlfriend likes to tie me up. I’m a college gymnast so I have very defined muscles. They are a huge turn on for my girlfriend, which I guess explains why she likes to see me struggle against the rope. I get real turned on too when I’m tied up. Sometimes she teases my penis and testicles with a feather or a piece of leather, which drives me wild. I’m worried though, because I think this is gonna warp me somehow. Do you think this is perverted? Why is it so much fun?

Ahhh yeah, Jake, I do think it’s perverted. I think your girlfriend is a big fat pervert and I think you’re still just a teensy-weensy little pervert—but well on your way to Big Fat Perverthood (note: Big Fat Perverthood is not a clinical term; just something we toss around the office for fun), just like your girlfriend. And why is this bondage thing so much fun? It’s such a blast because it IS perverted, IS nasty and IS forbidden, silly! One can only guess what your fundamentalist Christian mom and dad would think about their star athlete son trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey while a considerably older dominatrix punishes his family jewels. I fear this apple has fallen a great distance from the tree, right, Jake? I absolutely love it!

Okay, back to telling your partner about your kink. Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar to her/him doesn’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah is always going on about.

This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with—lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, pee, role-playing—whatever your hearts desire.

Decide on a safe-word, an out-of-context word your partner can use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built-up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work, Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play. Because, as we all know, the key to fantastic sex is all about communicating – and if you can’t be honest about what you want, then it won’t be long until you’re looking around, wondering how the hell you got to a sex life full of furtive, 2 minute, missionary position encounters. And life is way too short for that crap.

Essential Viewing! The Circumcision Debate

I was so impressed with this presentation. It’s a long movie, so I suggest that you watch it in segments, but by all means watch the whole thing. Very Compelling!


Hey Sex Fans!

Product Review Friday is comin’ your way and today we have another outstanding insertable from our very good friends at: Crystal Delights. Today’s pleasure product is not the first Crystal Delights product we’ve reviewed, no siree! I reviewed one back in February, 2010. You can see it HERE!

Today’s review is brought to you by Dr Dick Review Crew members Jack & Karen.

The Kiss —— $99.95

Jack & Karen
Karen: “Even though both Jack and I are relative new-cumers to anal play, we both need to warm up for a full on ass-ult. But now that we’re no longer rank amateurs we both really get into it once we’re loosened up a bit. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Originally, I offered up my butt to please Jack. I didn’t think there’d be much in it for me, but I was willing to give it a try for him. Boy, was I ever mistaken. I swear, I’m getting the lion’s share of the pleasure when Jack fucks me back there.”
Jack: “I totally love her for trying anal, just for me. And because she did it just to please me, I figured it was high time for me to do the same. We did our homework too. We also watched a couple of educational and enrichment videos on anal play; that really helped us too.”
Karen: “So true! The videos made a point of stating that the warm-up part of the play is essential if the person hopes to enjoy his/her rear entry adventure.”
Jack: “One of the most effective ways of warming-up is by using a butt plug. And we now have a new addition to our growing collection. Allow us to introduce you to the exquisite Kiss.”
Karen: “That’s the perfect word for the Kiss; it’s exquisite. It’s like jewelry for your butt hole. No, I mean it! This beautiful glass plug, (hand blown Pyrex mind you) with the stunning red swirls is the perfect size for the novice butt pirate. It is approximately 1.5” wide, at it’s widest, and has an insertable length of about 3”. The teardrop shape of the insertable end tapers down to a half-inch stem before it flares again to the base. And the base is studded with a genuine Swarovski crystal. The whole thing is no more than 3.5” long so anyone can enjoy it.”
Jack: “This important; the shape that Karen just described is classic butt plug. Once the teardrop shaped end of the Kiss is popped in you pooper, your sphincter muscles clamp down on the thin neck and this action holds the plug in place. And there’s never a worry that it will accidentally slip inside. The base is too big for that. It also means that you can wear this puppy for hours at a time. There’s no discomfort, just pleasure, pleasure, pleasure!”
Karen: “Because the beautiful Kiss is Pyrex glass it’s nonporous. It is easily cleaned and sanitized so that we can share the toy. We simply wash it in soapy hot water, then wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. We’d boil it or pop it in the dishwasher, as we do out other find glass toys, but the Kiss has that stunning crystal in its base and we don’t want to disrupt that.”
Jack: “Another great feature of a high-quality glass insertable, like the Kiss is that you can use any type of lube you want with it. We’re found of silicone-based lubes, so that’s what we use. And here’s a tip; just a little dab of lube will make the Kiss super slick.”
Karen: “I want to repeat something Jack just said. The Kiss is very comfortable to wear. In anticipation of some hot backdoor action with Jack, I simply insert the plug in advance of our play together. Wearing this thing for even 30 minutes makes my rump hungry for more.”
Jack: “She’s like totally primed for my dick when play time begins. And I’m totally ready for her strap-on when it’s my turn to give up my ass. And don’t forget, you can warm or chill glass for an added sensation.”
Karen: “The Kiss comes in a stylish padded pouch that folds upon itself and secures itself with elastic bands. It’s a very classy presentation and it would make the perfect gift.”
Full Review HERE!


My Latest Book


(Click on the book art above to purchase.)

For centuries homosexuals have been vilified and persecuted by the Catholic Church, but throughout all of its history the Church has had a very inconvenient secret. Many of its clergy and religious men and women, even those in the highest echelons of the Church, were and are homosexual. Little was known of the lives these religious people live until the publication, in 1981, of the groundbreaking, Gay Catholic Priests; A Study of Cognitive and Affective Dissonance.

I am the author of that study and I am a gay priest. But the media firestorm that erupted after its publication and the backlash within my religious community because of its publication eventually destroyed my public priesthood. The story of my 13-year battle with the Church to save my ministry exemplifies the spiritual isolation, emotional distress and ecclesiastical reprisals every gay priest most fears.

A Brief Description
Secrecy, Sophistry And Gay Sex In The Catholic Church provides an intimate and disturbing look into the unseemly inner-workings the Catholic Church. It is primarily a story about how this institution deals with dissent in its midst, but it also shows to what lengths the Church will go to silence a whistle-blower. What I am about to recount happened between 1981 and 1994. It involves the highest levels of the Vatican bureaucracy, secret documents, corporate incompetence, canonical corruption, and institutionalized homophobia on an epic scale.

The publication of my dissertation broke the seal on the Vatican’s gay secret. The press dubbed me “The Gay Priest,” but my research and what it implies made patently clear that I wasn’t the only gay priest. In fact, there is a sizable segment of the clergy population that is gay and these men are forced to live duplicitous lives of repression in secret.

The Church’s single-minded effort to quash the emerging story and silence me showed that I needed to be “dealt with” in the most severe fashion; an example had to be made of me. If other priests started coming out of the closet, demanding to be treated with dignity and respect it would certainly undercut the entirety of Catholic sexual moral theology—there is no place for non-reproductive sexuality in that paradigm.

The irony is that at the same time my story was unfolding an unimaginable scandal, involving hundreds of Catholic priests across the globe, was also brewing. Cardinals, bishops and provincials worldwide were, and still are, furtively shuffling pedophile priest from one crime scene to another. They were, and still are, involved in a massive corporate cover up of their own crimes and those of their brother clergy.

While I am being singled out for 13 years of Church vitriol, public character assassination and communal shunning—my superiors claim that they are simply trying to protect the Church from scandal—these same Church leaders and others are lying, prevaricating and sabotaging any effort to uncover the burgeoning clergy sexual abuse scandal that would soon rock the front pages of newspapers all over the world.

The public panic, among Church officials, exhibited toward me—a single up-front gay priest in their midst—is in stark contrast to their apathetic and anemic response to the systemic clergy sexual abuse that engulfs them.

I am confident making the comparison between my struggle and the clergy sex abuse scandal, because I have first-hand knowledge of this abuse criminality. I was repeatedly sexually molested as a 14-year-old boy in an Oblate seminary in southern Illinois.

My story is the story of a Church that will go to any length, even to violate its core principles—Gospel values that form the fundamental tenets of faith—to protect its public image. In other words, this is a story of a Church out of control.

Secrecy, Sophistry And Gay Sex In The Catholic Church: The Systematic Destruction Of An Oblate Priest, is presented in two distinct parts.

  • Part 1 is a detailed account of my 13-year struggle with the religious community I once belonged to, The Missionary Oblates Of Mary Immaculate, to preserve my priesthood. It reads like an ecclesiastical who-done-it.
  • Part 2 is my complete doctoral thesis, Gay Catholic Priests; A Study of Cognitive and Affective Dissonance.  I included it in this volume, because this is precisely what set this controversy in motion.  It illustrates and reveals the plight of gay Catholic clergy and the fierce repression the Vatican imposes upon them. It is also the 30th anniversary of its limited publication as a monograph before the Vatican silenced me. It’s been out of print for well over 25 years.

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