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Riddle Me This…

Name: Daniel
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Location: Portland
My question is do all women essentially have the same size and shape vagina? Because I have an abnormally large penis and some women are fine with it but some women complain way too much because of the pain.

I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that you don’t really know how to swing that big pipe of yours. But before we get to that, I thought we’d do a little remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vagina is made up of the same tissue as your penis and scrotum? In other words your cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. So if you follow the logic you’ll find the answer to your question. Pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size andbig.jpg shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, etc, are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the vagina itself. This is best understood as a potential space. A vagina is very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space. Tell me you’re clear on that concept…please!

Again if you follow the logic you’ll realize that, unless you’re hung in a freakish sort of way (and if you are I want photographic evidence sent to me immediately) just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson…well, that’s just a whole other issue.

Second, and this is the most important point, I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long conversation with someone who actually owns a vagina. While dr dick is a very clever lad, who knows lots of things about lots of things, sadly he don’t have no vagina himself. So why not go directly to the source, Daniel? Before you start pokin’ away at this mysterious entity that you clearly don’t understand, ask your partner for a little tour. Have her show you around. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are plenty of ‘em, don’t cha know. You’ll be sorely amazed. You think your dick is talented? Let me tell ya pal, it pales in comparison to a pussy.

Besides, this little exercise will give you a load of brownie points with the woman in question. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussies in general, which hopefully make you a much better lover whatever comes your way in the future.

Finally, if your women partners are complaining about your size it probably has more to do with your ability as a cocksmith than the capacity of their vagina. Most women who complain about painful intercourse, regardless of the size of the hose, report that their offish male partners don’t get them warmed up enough before commencing the fuck. No arousal means there’s lubrication no. No lubrication means there’s sure to be painful fucking ahead. Get it?

A word to the wise, Daniel, if your dick is hard it’s evidence that you’re properly aroused. If your partner isn’t lubricating big-time then she not properly aroused. Which tells me that you didn’t take care of business like you should have before you start to poke and poke with your one-eyed monster. You want in? Better pave the way pup!

Name: sammy
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: UK
is rimming dangerous you know like not good for you and you know stuff like that

You wanna know if rimming (or ass to mouth contact, for those less familiar with the term “rimming”) is dangerous with respect to “you know…well you know”. That sure was articulate.

I guess you want dr dick to fill in the blanks, huh? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you want to know about the health risks involved in rimming, right? Why not just come right out and say, “Hey dr dick, is eatin’ ass gonna make me sick?”

Let me preface my remarks with this universal statement. There is some riskdirtyjobs17.jpg involved with everything we do. Are you breathing this air? Are you drinking this water? Are you eating this food? Are you driving a car? Yikes, especially here in Seattle? Then you are at risk of serious bodily injury.

Have you noticed the alarming increase in health advisories issued for air quality? The ever-increasing frequency of food contamination scares — both for humans and our pets? And I’m sure I don’t have to call your attention to worsening traffic and the endless parade of really bad drivers out there. And yet, we continue to breathe, eat and move about in traffic as if there were no risks to us at all. We do so because it’s hard to live a normal life without. Rather than wall ourselves up somewhere to avoid all the inherent dangers of life in the modern world, we do our best to minimize risk by keeping ourselves informed and staying alert to signs of danger.

The same is true for any and all risks associated with sex. Trust me, I’m not here to diminish any perceived health risk involved when folks bump parts with one another. But I do want to put them in perspective. You can minimize health risks associated with sexual contact with others by being alert and informed about sexual issues in general and the health of your partner(s) in particular. Also stay vigilant to signs of danger — lesions, inflammations, abnormal odors, pain — are all warning signs that things are not as they should be. And nothing, absolutely nothing is more important than hygiene…especially were butt munching is concerned.

Here’s a little code I’ve prepared for this purpose. You know, like the fun rainbow colored homeland security code we’ve all come to know love. However, unlike the Department of Homeland Security here in the US (and whatever the call it there in the UK), dr dick promises he’ll never use his advisory code as a political tool. The dr dick Health/Sex Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.

Now back to you, Sammy. dr dick is gonna label rimming — 3) Advised with Caution. There’s a minimal risk for HIV transmission. However the presence of anal bleeding or bloody gums makes rimming 4) Not Advisable.

Rimming does carry the risk of parasite and bacterial infections. Hepatitis is also a risk. But there are hepatitis vaccines out there. And anyone engaged in sex with another human being, eating ass or no, who isn’t immunized against hep is just a damn fool.

Name: Frank
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: LA
The problem I’m having is that my current girlfriend has really small breasts, probably a size A or something like that. My last girlfriend had these beautiful big breasts. Being in LA of course they were fake, but I loved them. My new girlfriend is good in bed but the boob issue is driving me crazy. Her breasts are so small there’s nothing to do with them. The rest of her body is fine and her face is great. I’m looking for your advice. I want to ask her to get a boob job, but I don’t know how to approach the issue. Just looking for your advice.

So let me get this straight, Frank. You’re like this big tit fanatic and you don’t much care if the hooters are god-made or plastic. You live in LA, the very center of the silicone universe. And you find yourself in a relationship with a great gal with natural breasts, but virtually no bust line. Holy cow, how did that happen? Is this some kind of twisted karmic fate thing playing itself out? Do you suppose the cosmos is trying to tell you something?

Ok, you want my advice, here it is. I totally think you ought march right up to thisbt.jpg pretty sweet girlfriend of yours and tell her that despite her many charms and how much fun she is in the sack, you’re simply need much bigger tits on her real soon.

That’s right you heard me correctly. You just stride on up to her and tell her what’s on your mind. Don’t hold anything back. Don’t try to be diplomatic. And you don’t even have to give her feelings a second thought!

Of course, Frank, you’re gonna wanna preface this little declaration of yours by telling the lovely lass that you will submit your dick for augmentation if she agrees to submits her breasts.

I mean, fair is fair, right Frank? To do anything less, would mark you as incredibly shallow and selfish. It would also smack of a very unpleasant double standard. And dr dick wants desperately to believe that you’re not that big of an asshole. You aren’t, are you Frank?

If by chance you’re not quite ready to surrender you’re dick to a surgeon’s scalpel, with all the inherent dangers major surgery like this entails, then you’re in no position to ask your darling girlfriend with the tiny titties to do it either.

Here’s a tip; either enjoy what’s near to hand or find some chick that’s already sporting a big rack. I encourage you not to suggest to any woman that she’d be a better person, or more desirable to you (or anyone jackass of your gender) if she were just more stacked. This will simply backfire. You’ll not only find yourself without the desired tits, you’ll be without pussy too.

Good luck ya’ll!

Video Library

DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY!

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Hey there sex fans!

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Summertime Blues!

Name: Carlos
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: Isle of man
When I wank for hours and hours without cuming while watching porn and then cum after the many hours, my cum becomes watery and transparent. Is this normal?

Long periods of “edging,” like what you’re doing, will often result in some of your spunk being forced backward into your bladder. This is known as a retrograde ejaculation, don’t cha know. Have you noticed that after one of your extended wank sessions your pee is a little cloudy? That’s the rest of your cum, pup. While there’s nothing abnormal about watery, transparent jizz, maybe you need to wank less, find a new hobby and give your wiener a rest.

Name: lynn
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: florida
i am virgin but can you ever be to tight and will my first time hurt really bad and will i ever be able to just go at it!!!!

You’re in luck, darlin’! Check it out: If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another! You’ll see that I’ve already answered your question.

Name: Alexd.jpg
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location: canada
how can I cum faster

Faster than what…a speeding bullet? What’s the rush, I wonder?

I suppose if you really wanted to get off in a hurry, you could stick a vibrating dildo in your ass as you stroke. That’ll surely do the trick.

Name: jone
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: bridgenorth
I have just started dating a lovely guy where the sexual attraction is emense! he switches me on like a light and i cant get enough, but when it gets down to it- it lasts averagly five mins. im well aware i may be being fussy but, i love sex! and really want go for ages with him. the other nite i couldnt hide my disapointment- he knew but i wouldnt say. im frustrated but dont want to hurt his feeling, im a nimfo but he has such good qualitys. what do you think i should do?

FUSSY? When your fuck sessions only last five minutes?? You’re no nympho, doll, but you do have the patience of a saint. Listen up, skip trying to spare your guy possible hurt feelings and tell him the truth. You’ll be doing him (and yourself) a big favor. He needs to attend to his short fuse ASAP, and you can help.

Lasting longer is a relatively easy thing for any man — gay, straight, whatever — to accomplish. Have your guy simply follow one or another of the following techniques. He may want to start this process on his own, but then the two of you can work together.

If your guy is like most men, his wank sessions are speedy little affairs. Squeezing off a quick one just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing in some instances. But years of this same behavior will habituate a guy’s body to having a very short fuse, if ya know what I mean. If his body is sensitized to cumin’ quickly like when he’s jerkin’-off just relieve tension, then that’s how it’ll respond later, when he’s with you. No big mystery there.

I suggest that he begin his effort to last longer by fundamentally changing his self-pleasuring activity. Most, if not all, of his masturbation from now on should be dedicated to full body masturbation. The purpose of this kind of masturbation is to play with and move around the sexual energy that builds up as he pulls his pud. The object here is to delay, for as long as he can, having an orgasm.

What the hell is full-body masturbation, you ask? Well it’s pretty simple really. He’s gonna be moving the sexual energy from his stiff cock all over the rest of his body. Since this is a sexual enhancement exercise, and not just a means of getting off, he’s gonna have to dedicate some time to this effort. I instruct the men I see in my private practice to allot 30 minutes a day three times a week for these exercises. If your guy can’t see his way to spend that kind of time to overcome his premature ejaculation concerns, he’s not really all that motivated to change. And if that’s the case, you’ll just need to move on.

squeeze03.jpgHere’s what I want him to do. I want him to touch and pleasure his whole body while he’s stroking his cock. He is to make the pleasure last as long as he can. He may even want to incorporate a vibrating toy into this exercise. As he reaches the point where he feels an ejaculation is near, he is to stop stroking his dick and play with some other part of his body, tits, asshole, feet, etc. When the urge to cum subsides, he can start to stroke again. I want him to do this over and over till he can last the full 30 minutes.

Remember, the object here, I mean besides the joy of touching and pleasuring his whole body, is to retrain his sexual response cycle. If he practices this method conscientiously it will increase his sexual stamina. He will also have learned a swell way to extend your partnered sex play too.

Check it out! When you guys are having sex, I want the two of you to do the same thing as when he’s masturbating. Spread that sexual energy around. Don’t just focus on his dick. Concentrate on building up his sexual tension, playing with that tension and stalling his orgasm. If you’re fucking and he’s getting close to shooting, have him pull out of penetration, turn his attention elsewhere — like your clit — till he regains control, then he can reinsert.

This is known as the “start and stop” method of lasting longer. Only my way of doing it insures that he will know more about his sexual response cycle from his own full body masturbation. His building sexual tension will not take him by surprise. He’ll also know what to do when he feels himself getting close. He’ll stop thrusting, but he won’t have to stop the sex all together. Rather he’ll seamlessly turn his attention to other pleasurable activities before he resumes the actual fuck.

After 30 minutes a day, three times a week for 2-6 weeks of the stop and start method he’ll notice a marked improvement in his sexual stamina. In time he’ll not even need to concentrate on his own sexual response cycle to keep up with you; it will be second nature to him. Kinda like learning to ride a bike.

Let’s review another technique, a couple-friendly method, called the squeezesqueeze1.jpg technique. I’ve introduced many a couple to this approach of prolonging pleasure with great success. The beauty part of this technique is that its success is dependent on good communication between the partners. And nothing serves good sex better than good communication.

Again, since this is a sexual enhancement exercise, and not just a clever new way of getting off, you and your partner will have to dedicate some time to mastering this method. Like the stop and start technique exercise above, allot at least 30 minutes a day three times a week. You can’t commit that kind of time to solving your problems? Okey dokey! Just don’t cum bellyachin’ to me.

Here’s what you’re gonna do. Your guy is going to be the passive recipient while you pleasure him. Like the previous exercise it’s all about gaining control over his sexual response cycle. Start by massaging his dick with a wet hand. Some nice lotion or lube works fine. You’ll want to spread his sexual energy around, not merely concentrating on his cock and balls. He’ll have to keep you posted on how close he is to cumming. When he feels he’s about to shoot, stop stroking his dick and squeeze his cock by wrapping your thumb and index finger around his unit at its base. Apply firm pressure, focusing on the urethra, the tube running along the underside of his johnson. Then let go, and wait for about 30 seconds before you resume. This applied pressure short-circuits the building tension and postpones the ejaculatory response. Simple!

Because it’s essential that you apply pressure a few strokes before he’s about to shoot, he’s gotta talk you through it the first few times. Soon you’ll begin to notice the signs of an impending ejaculation on your own and take the appropriate measures.

Most couples see a dramatic lessening of premature ejaculation in as little as two to six weeks of practice.

Name: DJ
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: TN
Is there life for a gay bottom after anal fissures? There is literally NO helpful advice on the internet for this issue. I had a rough boweldirtyjobs23.jpg movement a few years ago and now everytime I have another or practice in anal sex, it rips right back open and bleeds. This is gay hell!!

You’re clearly not giving your love cave a long enough time to heal before you go back to plunging whatever in there, thus reinjuring yourself. Stop doing that, why don’t cha?

If you think a little down time (even several weeks) from an anal fissure is agony, you don’t know what gay hell is, darlin’. Imagine if you keep this up and you develop an abscess — a very likely scenario — and you need surgery or worse, a colostomy. Then dear boy, you will really know a gay bottom’s hell.

Name: Paul
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: UK
I’ve had several bouts of cock and anal warts which have now cleared but have read my chances of cancer have increased? Is this true??

Ahhh, your genital warts have cleared up? On their own?? I seriously doubt that. And what about this “several bouts” thing? What’s up with that? Either you’re not having this condition properly taken care of, or you are being really reckless about your sexual partners.

If you’re not having a physician attend to your warts, you’re not being treated properly. Sometimes the warts themselves — they look like small, flesh-colored bumps or have a cauliflower-like appearance — will seem to disappear on their own, but they’re not really gone. The virus that causes them remains and without proper medical treatment there will be another outbreak.

The virus that causes genital warts — the human papillomavirus (HPV) — is associated with cervical cancer, for sure. There may also be a link to other types of genital cancers, such as cancer of the penis. But do you really want to fool around with this till you become a statistic?

There are more than 100 different types of HPV, but only a few can cause genital warts. These strains of the virus are highly contagious and spread through sexual contact with an infected person. About two-thirds of people who have sexual contact with someone who has genital warts develop the condition — usually within three months of contact, but in some cases not for years.

One of the most effective treatments is freezing the warts with liquid nitrogen (cryotherapy).

Name: calvin14jamesd5-18-03soft.jpg
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: california
My foreskin is too tight for me to pull it back. Is it a major problem? What can I do?

It’s not a major problem. And you’re in luck, darlin’! Check it out: Too Much of One Thing and Not Enough of Another! You’ll see that I’ve already answered this question.

Good luck ya’ll!

The Cone

REVIEW #2

Guess what, sex fans? I am the proud owner of my very own “The Cone” (C030) $129.00. And oh jeez, my life is never gonna be the same.

I am now the envy of all my friends — both the male and female variety — since the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived on my doorstep. (Actually the hot pink pyramid shaped package arrived encased in a nondescript brown cardboard box, but you get the idea, right?)c030.jpg

I purposely left the pastel pink cone shaped object sitting nonchalantly on my desk for the past 10 days. Without fail it caught the eye of everyone who passed through Dr Dick’s office/salon/café/crash pad. “What the hell is that?” You’re kidding!” Really? “Get outta here!” “Oh My God, can I try it?” And so it went day after day.

I fond myself repeating the mantra — “It’s an innovative sex toy! – It’s pop art! – It’s my new BFF! — It’s three things in one!”

My hat is off to the developers of this unique unisex toy. You can tell right away that the folks who created this little wonder have a profound appreciation for sexual pleasure, as well as a joyful sense of playful fun. This kind of synergy can and apparently does turn the sex toy industry on its head. Bravo!

Ok, so what exactly is The Cone? Primarily, it is a hands-free battery-operated vibrator, don’t cha know. And that, sex fans, allows you to be pretty gal-darn creative in how you use the bugger. In fact, its unique design practically begs you to come up with clever new use or two every time you use it. I know of what I speak! I came up with one really good one. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself.

It has a sixteen-function 3000-rpm gold brush motor. It is both powerful and quiet. (Believe me, once you have at this thing, you will be making all the noise, not it.) It has a soft high-quality pink silicone skin. Its about seven inches in diameter at the base, five inches high, and weighs just over a pound. It has two push button controls. Simply put, there is nothing discreet about it, folks! Everything about it screams: “I’m here. I’m pink. Get used to it!

The Cone requires 3 “C” batteries. Unfortunately, the first set of batteries is not included in the package. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all bummed out when you whip it out, for the first time, hoping to hop on for a ride only to discover you don’t have the proper batteries on hand.

Even though this isn’t an insertable device (That is, unless your hole looks like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.), you’ll want to use a good personal lube to keep The Cone’s silicone skin from chafing your naughty parts. Just make sure you use a non-silicone lube though, or you’ll ruin the blasted thing.

Like I said, The Cone has sixteen different vibrating programs — from mild to “Whoa Nelly! I suggest you take your time and cycle through the different vibe patterns to find the ones you like best. Here’s a tip: the on/off switch doubles as an ‘Instant Orgasm’ button, which revs the thing up to fever pitch in an instant. This is apparently for all those folks out there who are just too damned busy to cum like a normal person.

For the uninitiated, the pointy cone shape may be intimidating. But relax there’s no need to worry; The Cone’s peak is soft and spongy. It’s sorta the consistency of a very stiff dick. You can sit on this baby, lean on it, lie on it or plop it in your lap. You can use it alone, or with a partner. Just don’t be surprised if your partner tries to monopolize The Cone. If you have girl parts, The Cone is ideal for your pussy, clit and taint (perineum). If you have boy parts, The Cone is perfect for your cock, balls and taint. And everyone’s asshole will sing for joy when The Cone comes knockin’ at the back door.

The Cone’s silicone skin is nonporous, which means bacteria cannot penetrate it. That makes it a breeze to clean. Just wipe it down with a mild soap and warm water after each use. To sterilize — remove the silicone skin from the unit and swish it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Of course when you replace the skin, ya gotta realign it on the unit properly or you will not be able to find the operating buttons. But whatever you do, don’t immerse The Cone itself in water.

Full review HERE

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #27 — 08/20/07

Hey sex fans,

I have a really amazing show for you today. We have several interesting questions from the sexually worrisome. And I respond with an equal number of feisty, friendly and oh so enlightening responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • John’s got a little peanut. What’s a fella to do?
  • Brianna is worried about her Chinese made toys.
  • Walter still has some lead in his pencil!
  • Shelly: sexually adventurous guys are called studs, but gals are called sluts. WTF?
  • Brent is a rent boy and he’s workin’ overtime.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s podcast is once again bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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