Search Results: Lance

You are browsing the search results for lance

Sex EDGE-U-cation With Conner Habib – Podcast #321 – 02/22/12


Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Porn is a hot button issue for most people. Everyone seems to have an opinion, but very few of those opinions come from more than gut reactions. To remedy this I’ve been bringing you periodic interviews with porn performers of note as part of this the Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series. Because I think it’s important to hear from real people in the business before we decide where we stand on adult entertainment.

Today I add to the list of porn luminaries who have already appeared on this show — Robert Black, Chris Yosef, Tony Buff, Luc Wilder, Madison Young, Bruno Bond and Lance Navarro. I have the pleasure of welcoming the oh so charming and refreshingly philosophical, Conner Habib.

If you know anything about gay smut, then I’m gonna guess that you already know our guest and his body of work. And if you don’t you have a treat in store for you, because Conner is way more than what you see in his movies. He is here to add his unique voice to the ever-growing chorus of prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles that is this podcast series.

Conner and I discuss:

  • Busting the porn star lifestyle myth;
  • His website and companion blog;
  • His studies in creative writing and organismic and evolutionary biology;
  • Philosopher and performer;
  • Sex and spirituality, the big disconnect;
  • Being a gay porn star in academia;
  • Making the world a better place;
  • Radical acts of understanding;
  • How he got his start in porn;
  • Becoming Conner Habib;
  • The “guy next door” persona.

Be sure to visit Conner on his kick-ass site HERE! Look for his brilliant blog HERE! And follow him on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Teenage Sexual Assault

Name: TC
Gender: Female
Age: 13
Location: indiana
I really dont know that much about sex, so i let my boyfriend do it all. He keeps calling me a scardy cat cuz i wont touch his dick or give him any pleasure, and he is getting really bored with me

I am so sorry to hear of the trouble you are having with your boyfriend. Actually, he’s no friend at all. Real friends honor their friend’s limits and boundaries, and he’s not doing that.

You can’t be expected, at your tender age, to know much about sex. Hell, you don’t even sound like you are particularly interested in the topic. You don’t mention your boyfriend’s age, but it sure sounds like he is way more advanced than you, at least when it comes to his interest in sex. Unfortunately, he’s not so advanced that he’s man enough to leave you alone when you ask him to. And that really makes me angry. Bullying, belittling or harassing someone for sex, particularly when it’s clear that person is not ready or not interested is abuse. And that is never a good thing.

I hasten to add that in the eyes of the law he is a criminal. He is taking advantage of an underage person for his own sexual gratification and that’s against the law. If you guys get busted, there will be hell to pay.

I know the kind of pressures you are experiencing. You want a BF and you want your BF to like you. But if you let him take advantage of you, it’s not the same thing as him liking you. It’s more an indication that he’s focused on his needs and desires, not yours. I don’t think his behavior indicates he cares for you, but he is showing you that he has power over you and is able to manipulate you into doing what he wants. And what kind of relationship is that?

Listen, TC, you don’t have to submit to him. You can stand tall and tell him NO. He will, in the end, respect you more for your courage to defy and deny him than if you just cave in to his will.

I’m not sure I know what you mean when you say that you “let your boyfriend do it all.” But it sure doesn’t sound like a good thing to me. If he’s having his way with you, even though you are being very passive about it, doesn’t make it right. I hope this isn’t how you intend to interact with other males who will come into your life in the future. And there will be plenty of them. If they sense that you are weak and vulnerable, you will be a goner for sure. You could easily wind up being a victim for the rest of your life. Please, TC, don’t let that happen to you.

I know you’d probably rather be thinking about a lot of other stuff at this time in your life, but the situation with your BF demands that you grow up fast and get savvy about the fundamentals sex right away. I’ll have a number of resources for you in a second, but I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for you to wise up about pregnancy protection. I wish I didn’t have to say that to you, but I must. If you are being sexually active, even if you are just letting your BF do everything, you absolutely must protect yourself from an unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. If you don’t you will find that you will be the one having to deal with the consequences. If your BF is not considerate enough to respect your wishes when it comes to sex in general, you know for sure that he’ll not be around to look after you and your unborn child.

Ok, here are those resources I mentioned. Planned Parenthood, SCARLETEEN, Sex Ed 101 and Midwest Teen Sex Show.

Promise me that you will take this seriously. That you’ll not just roll over (literally or figuratively). Promise me that you will respect yourself and take a stand and not allow your BF to manipulate you into anything you don’t want to do. More hangs in the balance than you can comprehend. You’ll have to trust me on this.

One last thing, if you were wise enough to find my sex advice website and you were mature enough to write to me, then I believe you are strong and resourceful enough, despite your tender age, to stand up to your BF. Do it now. Demand that he respect you, your body and your wishes.

Good luck

Basic Sexual Positions For One And All!

I would like to offer another of my Sexual Enrichment Tutorials. This one is titled: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All!

I’m forever hearing from folks who need a little help with the whole sex positions thing. You wouldn’t think this would be such a bugaboo for so many; but it is. Is it a fear of the unknown? Is it a lack of creativity? Or is it simply a “but we’ve always done it this way” mentality? Whatever the cause of this woeful lack of sexual know-how, Dr Dick is here to spread the good news that you can and ya oughta try something new every now an again.

We will be looking at several positions today — nothing too advanced, mind you, just some basic things you can try that might solve some of the nagging problems I hear about on a regular basis. And here’s the deal — most people are up for at least this amount of sexual experimentation. And who knows where this little adjustment could lead? You may find that if you open the door to change by experimenting with a different position or two, ya’ll could be on your way to lot of other adaptations in the future. And experimentation is the very best way to prevent your fucking from getting boring.

Ok, so we’re all well acquainted with the so-called “missionary position,” right? This is the man on top, woman on the bottom position, just the way god likes it. Or the way the Christian missionaries thought it should be when they discovered lots of pagan folk were having way too much fun with all those exotic positions.

Despite it being much maligned, the good old missionary position is swell if you like face-to-face fucking. And that’s never a bad place to start. This position allows for a lot of physical front-to-front body contact including kissing. Lots of folks like this position because of intimacy it provides. I hasten to add that this isn’t the only position that allows for face-to-face fucking, but I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself.

The downside of this position is it can be a whole lot of work for the partner on top, while being really confining for the partner on the bottom. This is especially true if the guy on top is of the jumbo variety. It also isn’t the best position for the woman if she’s fucking a guy with a big dick. Men obviously love this position because it gives them easy access to their partner’s tits. It’s not so pretty good if he wants to get his hands on her clit. But since most guys have a fairly good idea what to do with a pair of knockers, and are often perplexed with what to do with a clit, this is fine with them. Unfortunately, this position can leave a woman woefully unsatisfied.

A couple could vary things a bit by having the woman sit on the couch, legs spread with her man on the floor on his knees. This way he could happily plug away at her without weighting her down. Also the guy won’t have to balance himself with his hands while looming over his woman, as in the missionary position. This will free his hands to roam all over his partner’s body. Just think; with a little luck he could actually stumble upon the woman’s clit. And wouldn’t that be a red-letter day for all concerned? This position can be hell on one’s knees, however.

The opposite of the traditional missionary position is the “woman on top,” or “cowgirl” position. This is a sweet position for a chick mostly because it allows her to fully control the speed and depth of her man’s thrusts.  All the woman has to do here is climb on her man while he lay on his back. With her legs to either side of his hips, she can easily access his cock for a nice hand job before she guides it home. Since she’ll be able to move up or down his body at will, she can direct his dick at her clit and use it like a dildo. This is also a great position for anyone who wants to experiment with ass fucking. And all the while the man will still have free access to his partner’s boobs, so you know he’ll be as happy as a pig in shit.

There’s also the “reverse cowgirl, which is exactly like the “cowgirl, only completely different. In the reverse cowgirl position, the chick faces away from her man. He gets to admire and slap her ass and pull her hair. The woman, on the other hand, gets complete access to the guy’s johnson and his family jewels. Women, feel free to give you guy’s huevos a nice squeeze and don’t forget to tug on them too. Men generally do this while they’re jerkin off, so he’ll already be familiar with the sensations. Ya see, most men get off on ball play big time. Once the guy is inside of the woman in the position, his wang will hit the back of her vagina as opposed to the front. Lots of women like this because of the very different stimulation it provides.

If you’re lookin to stay with a more traditional style consider the benefits of spooning. It’s kinda like the missionary position, except you’re both on your side. Right away you can see the benefits of that, huh? He can still wrap you up in his big burly arms and even throw a leg over you for that complete sensu-round sensation. You can spoon face-to-face, or back to front. This makes for an effortless fuck. So much so that couples have been known to doze off mid screw in this position. Perfect for when lovers are too pooped for an athletic pop.

Then there’s the ever-popular “doggy style,” or “rear-entry” position. This is well suited to both pussy fuckin and ass fuckin. In this position the bottom will be on his/her knees face down, while his/her partner takes him/her from behind. The best part of this position is the freedom you’ll both have to use your hands. If the woman is on the bottom, she can prop herself up with one hand and still have the other free to diddle her clit or grab her man’s nuts between her legs. If the man’s on the bottom, he can take it up the ass with relative ease. If the woman is on top she can grab her partner’s hips and peg him with ease. If the man is on top he can hold on to his partner’s hips with one hand and still have the other to manhandle her hooters. What this position might lack in face-to-face intimacy it makes up for in vigorous fun.

For a sweet gentle fuck a woman could try sitting in her man’s lap. He’s seated in a chair, or cross-legged on the floor, while she sits astride his lap. She can mount him face-to-face, or with her back to him. This position doesn’t allow for whole lot of athletic thrusting, but it’s fantastic for some delicious slow rhythmic rocking. And the top partner will be able to set the rhythm. Both partner’s hands will be totally free to tweak one another’s nipples. Or the woman could guide his hands to her clit and show him what’s up down there.

Lastly, there the good old fashioned stand up position. This is particularly appropriate for those desperately horny moments that allow for only a quick, zip-less fuck. If the man is a strapping lad, he’ll have no problem sweeping the little woman off her proverbial feet and planting his boner inside her. This will take a bit of balance and stamina, particularly on the part of the dude, but these overheated hormonally driven fucks won’t last very long, if ya catch my drift.

Remember, you don’t need to stick to just one of these positions per screw. You can mix and match and change positions at will. You can even make a game of it. One of you could decide upon the position while the other of you determines the type of movement, angle of penetration, rhythm and speed.

Now, go forth and be creative, why don’t cha already.

Sex Therapy—What Is It and Who Needs It? – Part 1

I’m often asked about my work as a sex therapist. I’m surprised at how few people have any sense of what a sexologist does. While I can’t speak for all my fellow therapists, I can tell you a bit about my own practice.

Most of the work I do is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): short-term, goal-directed and personally liberating (I don’t believe this kind of therapy should become a lifestyle). Basically, I suggest that people with sexual issues change the behaviors that contribute to their problems as a surefire way to solve them. I try to give my clients all the tools they need to successfully work things out on their own once the therapeutic intervention is over. This approach doesn’t fit everyone; however, 99.9 percent of the people I work with respond positively.

I encourage my clients to give themselves permission to investigate their sexuality. This in turn assists them in taking charge of making themselves feel better and/or perform better. And as soon as they do, they almost immediately have a greater sense of wellbeing. Like they say, nothing breeds success like success.

Once we identify an area of concern, my client and I create a plan of action for them to implement. I believe the more an individual is part of their own healing process, the more productive that process will be.

Sadly, I find that fewer and fewer people are willing to give their sexual issues the attention they deserve. Rather than investing the time and energy to get to the bottom of their issues, many opt instead for the quick fix—the “Give me a pill for that” mentality. They’re often unwilling to make the necessary lifestyle changes to actually solve their problems. For example, I encounter people who are eating themselves to death, or abusing alcohol or drugs. Of course they have the accompanying sexual response issues—erection problems for men and arousal concerns for women. They may desperately want to resolve these issues, but without committing to any change in behavior—i.e.: “I want my erection back, but I won’t stop drinking”—such interventions almost always ends in disappointment.

Sexual dysfunction of one sort or another is the issue I see most recurrently in my practice, although the reason why a client reaches out varies. Sometimes an individual’s tolerance level peaks, and they finally decide to do something about an issue that may have been smoldering for years. Sometimes it’s a partner who brings in their proverbially “broken” partner, telling me to “fix him/her.”

Couples often seek sex therapy together, as sexual problems tend to be more obvious within relationships. However, by the time the couple comes for therapy, the issues have most likely been plaguing them for some time. The relationship often comes close to ending before the couple agrees to address the problem. For example: Say a guy brings his wife in because she’s “frigid,” whatever that may entail. They’ve been married for X-number of years, and he’s finally had it. She, on the other hand, doesn’t want to be in therapy, because she doesn’t really think there’s anything wrong with her. She just doesn’t want to have sex anymore, and she doesn’t want to discuss it. Period.

This is a difficult way to start therapy. Resentments are high and frustrations rage. If the couple does continue, we usually discover that there’s also something desperately wrong with the husband. Inevitably, we ascertain that he’s an ineffectual lover—and his inability to pleasure his wife is the root of her “problem.” It’s often painfully clear that he knows little (if anything) about his wife’s sexual needs or desires. Meanwhile, the wife has never had permission to know her body, so she’s unable to help or direct him. As you can imagine in a case like this, there’s a load of remedial sex education that must come before anything else is resolved.

Couples also seek therapy when one spouse has cheated on the other. The “cheat-ee” declares, in no uncertain terms, that this therapy is the last-ditch effort before “the end of the road.” Often in such cases, it’s too late for a successful intervention, because each partner is so angry and shamed that the chance of turning the situation around is slim. Sometimes the best we can do is end the relationship with as little acrimony as possible.

In difficult couple counseling situations like this, my first effort is to get the couple to disarm. There will be no sex therapy—and God knows there is a need for sex therapy—until there is some semblance of peace between partners. If we don’t establish at least a small bank of goodwill, our efforts are doomed.

We’ll pick this up next week at this time.

Got a Sex Question?
You’ve come to the right place.
Contact me here: questions@drdicksexadvice.com

No time to write?
Give Dr Dick a call.
(866) 422-5680
Toll Free — Voicemail — HOTLINE

Would you like to talk about your sexual concerns, feelings, lifestyle or experiences?
Arrange for a consultation HERE!

Either way, you can be assured of my complete discretion.

Almost Heaven

Hey sex fans,

I know; let’s make this Friday a Product Review Friday!

Ya’ll have probably noticed that everyone on the Dr Dick Review Crew has taken a break from reviewing. The truth of the matter is we all seemed to hit our saturation point at once. I guess we all experienced a little burn out.

I know, some of you must be thinking, gee, I should have such a problem; burning out on sex toys. Let me tell ya; no one who has actually had to honestly review sex toys would make that comment. Because, despite the fun aspects of reviewing them the review process itself can, and often is, grueling.

So just about the time we were about to throw in the towel, we were approached by a new partner in our review effort, the good people who are responsible for The Romance Series videos.

As you know, we’ve reviewed educational videos in the past; so it wasn’t much of a leap to include these excellent enrichment videos.

To explain what I’m talking about we have Dr Dick Review Crew member Jada to tell you all about the DVD she viewed.

Almost Heaven  ——  $29.95

Jada
My husband is a porn aficionado. He’s been watching porn since he was a teenager. Frankly, I can’t see how he can stomach the mind-numbing sameness of it all. For the most part, every thing I’ve tried to watch with him has been a disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong; I love sex. I love stories about sex; I have a fantastic erotica library. I love depictions of sex; I thoroughly enjoy Dr Dick’s The Erotic Mind podcasts and their accompanying slideshows of the artwork of his guest. But, for the most part, I do not like porn. I want to like porn; it’s just that I rarely see anything I can like.

I’ll admit it; I need a bit of a story line to get into the sex. I want the characters to be believable and I want the women in the movies to be more than one dimensional sex dolls. I don’t know, is that too much to ask for?

When Dr Dick asked me if I would consider reviewing one of The Romance Series titles, I hesitated. I wanted to do it, because it would be something my husband and I could do together, but I didn’t want to waste my time or his. I finally agreed and I stopped my Dr Dick’s and picked up Almost Heaven.

I was pleasantly surprised to find the DVD housed in a very tasteful, yet erotic package. The DVD comes in a traditional plastic package, but this is sheathed in a cardboard carton that give is a much warmer presentation. The promotional imagery on the box is suggestive, but not overt. It’s obvious that this presentation is geared to a female audience.

When I got home I tantalizing waved the package in my husband’s face. I said, “Look what I scored.” His eyes rolled up in his head and dismissed my find with a wave of his hand. I was crestfallen. He didn’t mean to be mean; he just thinks porn for women means toning down the sex till it’s soft-core pabulum.

I asked him to put aside his prejudice and watch it with me. He said he would.

Our date night arrived, we got comfortable in bed and I slipped the Almost Heaven DVD in the player. I hoped for the best.

Almost immediately my husband commented on the production values. The audio track was clear and balanced, and he didn’t notice any background noise. Apparently this is a big bugaboo for pornophiles, like my husband. I was just happy that a bunch of fake boobs weren’t jumping out at me from the screen.

It was easy for me to slip into the storyline. A pretty young woman, Angie, is told that she died the night before and is able to take only one memory with her into the afterlife. She chooses to remember her husband, Jake. But what memory of Jake should she choose? Another couple, Sara and Michael, helps Angie make the right choice. It’s a sweet concept. In fact, it was like watching a mainstream movie, but getting to see all the sex, which would only implied in a Hollywood version.

There are four scenes in the movie. The music, lighting and camerawork are all topnotch. Each scene is a sexual vignette featuring a different couple, but all the scenes follow the story arc. And ya know what I liked most? Condoms were used throughout. Kudos to The Romance Series people for being considerate to their performers and respectful to their audience. Thank you!

I was totally impressed with how the sex was presented. Despite the romantic overlay, this is a full-on sex movie, mind you — oral, cowgirl, spooning, doggie, missionary, all very tastefully presented. The chemistry between the couples is palpable, there is lots of kissing and the sex is hot. I couldn’t have asked for more. And I caught my husband adjusting his boner under the covers more than once.

My husband said Almost Heaven is not a porn movie for women, whatever that is; but it’s a really great porn movie for couples.  High praise coming from him.

If you’re looking for a bit of romance and plot with your sex, this title is bound to please. It was just the thing to get our motors running for the sex we had after the movie. It was the perfect date night!
Full Review HERE!

Enjoy

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player