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A Kink In Her Pink

Name: Dena
Gender: Female
Age: 32
Location: NYC
I love my cunt. In fact you could say I have a cunt fetish. I love to stuff my cunt with really big toys. My current BF introduced me to fist fucking and I love it. I guess what I want to know is can this be dangerous?

I love it, a chick who refers to her pussy as a cunt! You go, girl!

But what’s this…you’re just now gettin’ around to askin’ if fisting is dangerous? Not before, but AFTER you’ve had a fist in your cunt? Well, so much for being proactive. I’d be willing to guess that you probably already have some data on the advisability of this form of extreme sex play. You certainly have enough information to declare that you LOVE IT.

Ok, for everyone else in my audience (both those with a cunt and those who are cunt-less) who haven’t heard of fisting, let’s start at the beginning. I trust everyone knows what fingering is, right? Whether it’s fingerin’ a pussy or an asshole, it’s loads of fun to diddle someone’s insides. We already know that fingerin’ a dude’s hole will stimulate his prostate, which more and more non-gay men are discovering to be way fun. And fingerin’ a pussy can stimulate a chick’s G-spot, which a lot of women find delightfully pleasurable. Ok sex fans, take fingerin’ and multiply that by 5. That’s right, fisting is inserting a whole hand/fist into a cunt or asshole.

For all you folks who haven’t fainted away, yes, it is anatomically possible, and yes, it can be EXTREMELY pleasurable. I hasten to add that gettin’ a whole fist inside a pussy is somewhat easier than gettin’ a fist in an asshole. But for folks like you, Dena, those who are into massive penetration, nothing is a bigger turn-on.

To your question…is this practice harmful? Well not if ya do it right. First off, the fisting top does NOT make a fist and ram it home. Fisting aficionados say that handballing is the most intimate and complete way to touch another human being. This kind of extreme penetration has to be worked up to slowly and gently.

Trust and communication between partners is essential, as is tons of lube. Some folks swear by Crisco, others think the legendary J-Lube — a handy-dandy concentrate that veterinarian use — stands apart from the rest because it’s the most slippery and gooey.  If you choose this stuff, you simply follow the recipes for reconstituting the concentrate. These recipes are available on several handballing sites. (Here’s another tip, instead of schlepping down to your local veterinary supply warehouse, you can find J-Lube in the Dr Dick’ Stockroom. See the swell banner in the sidebar to your right and make your purchase through there. How freakin’ convenient is that?

The fisting top must, of course, respect his/her partner’s limits and pain threshold. Safe fisting is happy fisting. And to that end, keep the following concerns in mind.

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could possibly be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places — places that may not have pain receptors. You’ll want to insure that you minimize all chance of causing injury.

Make sure your partner is relaxed, comfortable and turned on. When a woman is aroused, her vagina relaxes, expands and lengthens; all very important for accommodating a fist, don’t ‘cha know.

Even the wettest cunt will need lots and lots of lube during fisting. There’s no such thing as too much lube, so prepare for a big fat mess. Lube your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying lube as you go. Push the lube into the pussy (or asshole) with your fingers. Remember if you’re using latex gloves, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex.

Start with one or two fingers and work your way up to three and then four. Most people need some time to further relax their muscles, and some may require several stretching sessions, over weeks or even months, before they can actually accommodate your whole hand.

Tops, be sensitive to your bottom’s feelings. You are trying to persuade part of her body to open for you and to admit part of your body deeply inside her. If you take your time, the energy exchange between you and she will move you both into an altered state. Communication and relaxation is key.

Once you’ve reached a five-finger insertion, you’re almost there. But it’s at this precise point that the handballing top needs to be the most attentive. Your partner’s pussy is being stretched to its near limit. Your partner is going to be riding a wave of pain/pleasure. If you find her cunt has reached its limit for the time being, respect that and pull out slowly. But if your partner wants more, then slip your knuckles inside. Be sure to fold your thumb “inside” your fingers, so that your hand will NATURALLY form an elongated fist. Think of the shape of a duck’s bill. This makes your hand into a wedge shape that allows you to gradually stretch your partner open as you press on. Apply steady but slow pressure.

Your partner should be telling you when to push and when to back off. Careless fisting can cause muscle and tissue injuries if the top goes too fast or too hard. Obviously, there’s gonna be some discomfort during handballing. Listen to the owner of the pussy being fisted, she will let you know the difference between hurts so good and hurts real bad.

The knuckles are the widest part of the hand and the most difficult part to get past the opening of the cunt. If there’s gonna be resistance to the insertion of the fist, this is probably that point that it will happen. Wait until your partner is ready before making the big push. She may be able to help by bearing down (as if she were giving birth or having a bowel movement). Once your knuckles slip past the ring of muscles around the vaginal entrance, the pressure will ease off. Now gently roll your hand into a fist.

At this point, the owner of the pussy or asshole may want a gentle pumping movement with your hand. Fisting can produce extremely intense sensations; so ask her what feels good to her.

When the session is done, make your hand into the duck bill wedge shape again, and gently slide it out slowly.

Good luck

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #11 — 04/30/07

Hey sex fans,

I have a great show for you today. Lots of smutty questions and an equal number of smart-ass responses!

  • Richard is holding on to his chi and won’t let go.
  • Dena’s got a kink in her pink!
  • Jack has a warty wick.
  • Leila’s old man is a big fat slob.
  • Kevin is thinking about turning pro.
  • Janet sticks her nose where it don’t belong.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Robert Black Academy

rbaheader.jpg

Awakenings

And now for something completely different. I’d like to welcome my friend and colleague, Vivian Slaughter, who has some interesting things to say about becoming the brilliant young sexologist she is today.

Becoming a feminist was a big deal for me; in high school I was very anti-feminist, I was the Cool Girl, I didn’t like doing my hair and felt giddy when people told me I “wasn’t like other girls” (the today me would have snapped back: “What’s wrong with other girls? Who are these mythic other girls you speak of?”) I would smile cruelly at people when they used the term, laugh a wide-open mouthed, high-pitched laugh. “No,” I’d correct them. “I don’t hate men!” Then, I’d usually follow with something like, “I’m not a feminist, but I believe (in something that literally fits the definition of being a feminist).”

Vivian SlaughterWhen I packed up and moved further South for college I found myself drawn to a sexual health education group that presented interactive workshops on sexual assault, dating violence and enthusiastic consent. This was a sex positivity group. This was a feminist group. It was a hard transition, and my first term with my new colleagues left a bitter taste in my mouth. What was happening to me? I’d come home from our meetings and rant to my roommate. “Ugh, it’s like…I agree with everything they say but do we have to call ourselves feminists? No one is going to take us seriously!”

I hate to say that I had an epiphany – because besides sounding cliché, it also mitigates the months of mental anguish and cultural upheaval I went through – but one night while I was walking home from a workshop late at night someone who had sat in the audience approached me.

“Uh, hey,” he said, running up behind and motioning with his arm that he wanted me to stop. “Can I tell you something?” I nodded, looking around to see if any of my group mates were around, I was used to being approached after workshops and asked disgusting, personal questions. Back up from my mates would have helped me feel safe. “I’m not a bad person,” the guy continued, “but I’ve done a lot of bad things. But I never knew they were bad. I didn’t know there was anything wrong with everything that I was doing, the way I acted. Thank you for coming tonight. Thank you for making me realize that I was wrong, and that I was behaving like a turd, and that feminist isn’t a dirty word.”

Me! He thought I was a feminist? I wanted to correct him – “I’m not a feminist, but I could see how you think that! I just believe that men and women should be treated equally, and that we have in place long standing and deeply rooted infrastructure that puts women at a systematic disadvantage – but! Whoa? Feminist?”

I realized then that I was a feminist, that I had been duped into believing falsehoods about the word, the movement, the people who identified as such. I realized in the dark, smiling up at this stranger whose name I never knew but who had credited me with changing his mind, that I was a feminist and it felt good and I was going to help people realize they were too. We changed each other’s mind.sex-positive-feminism

Almost immediately after that night I started working at an adult store. I was a sex positive feminist! I annoyed all my co-workers by asking all our guests their preferred personal pronouns; I put cards up on our counter with the information for a local crisis line; a local doctor who specialized in working with survivors of sexual assault. Couples would shyly slink into my shop and I would joyously greet them, stretch my arms to embrace them, help them pick out a pair of pink handcuffs, a soft whip made of braided silk, crotchless panties. “I love helping people love sex!” I would think to myself, naively thinking that all the world’s problems would be solved if only we used the word sex more openly.

Then one day a woman came into my shop, her face red from tears and her bangs matted to her temple from sweat. “What can I help you with?” I inquired.

“I don’t like having sex,” she began, her words coming out in short gasps. “I don’t like having sex,” she repeated, looking at everything around her, taking it all in. “My boyfriend says there’s something wrong with me because I hate it and can’t orgasm, and that you need to fix me.” She fixated on me, her eyes angry but her bottom lip trembling. “Can you fix me, please?”

I didn’t know what to do, didn’t even know how to begin. Telling her that sex was natural and fun wasn’t what she needed to hear, because I knew that’s what she had always been told. “What do you mean you don’t like sex?” so many people had gasped at her. “You must be prude. You must not have been fucked properly. You must be weird. You must not know what you’re talking about.” I found myself getting angry imaging all the horrible things this woman had been told, I found myself angry because I thought I was open minded and didn’t know what to do.

sex+positive“There is nothing wrong with you,” I spat out, sounding angrier than I wished. “Please, I’m so sorry… there is nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with your boyfriend. You don’t deserve what he dished out, you don’t have to like anything you don’t want to like. I’m so sorry.”

A few days later a pimply faced young man approached me in the shop, pointed to a book on the shelf. “Will that tell me where the clit is? I don’t know where it is, I’m afraid my girlfriend will laugh at me if I ask her where it is, but how should I know? Like, what, I’m supposed to know everything about fucking?”

“I hate giving blow jobs,” an older man confided in me, a stack of DVDs in his hand and an empty shopping basket sitting at his feet. “I hate having to swallow, but if I spit they all think I’m being a baby. Can you give me something that makes it bearable? I don’t know, that would numb my throat or make it taste okay? Just something to make it less awful.”

Learning what it meant to be sex positive was even harder than learning to embrace the word feminist.

I had been lead to believe it meant just liking sex, liking sex a lot, and not being shamed of it. Sex positivity was a young, pretty face flashing small, white teeth and nodding enthusiastically at whatever you suggested: “Sure!”

I learned while crying with a stranger telling me she hated sex, sitting on the floor explaining to a red faced 18 year old what a vagina looked like, and holding a man’s hand in front of a movie that featured Jesse Jane in her first girl on girl scene that sex positivity meant more than liking sex; it meant not liking sex, it meant having boundaries, being able to say “no,” not being coerced into trying things (“You have to try it just once, come on!”), being respected. Sex positivity meant having a kink. Trying a new kink. Saying no to a kink. Saying yes! Saying no – don’t stop, our safe word is barnacle! Saying no.

I realized that as an educator I had failed.sex positivity

I began asking around at workshops; asking my co-workers, classmates, hallmates, wondering earnestly what “sex positivity” meant to them. Some were confused: “Uhh, being positive… about sex?” Others were excited to share with me what sex positivity meant for them, how it fit into their lives. I found everyone’s answers – so varied and all across the board – interesting, but in the end what stuck with me the most were the people who were “sex positivity” critical. “What does it mean?” one person sneered to me. “It means people feel better about sexualizing my body; it means people call me a slut when I’m at the bars and they look at me like I should be empowered by it.”

When I left school, I knew I wanted to stay in the field of sexual health education, but I didn’t know what that meant for me. Continue working on crisis lines? Go back to school? Explore a degree more centralized to education? Throughout my last term I pensively reflected on my four years and wondered what I should do next.

I remembered vividly all the people I helped in my shop, all the questions asked during workshops. I realized I wanted to continue reaching out to people on a personal basis and learn more from them. Feminism, sex positivity, kink positivity and LGBTQIA+ rights have been trending topics in the last few years, and I’m interested in exploring the aftermath of what some are calling our new sex positive culture.

And so it is: I come home from work and in the few hours before I leave the house again to pick up my partner (we both go to work at noon, he gets home close to 13 hours later, so it’s safe to say that we have both become the human equivalent of an owl) I sit at my desk and I write. I write about the experiences I’ve had over the last few years, the stories shared with me and how they’ve helped me grow. I conduct interviews, via phone or e-mail, with a wide array of personalities, all with the intention of sharing the unique perspectives passed on to me.

We all have our mark left on us from the culture we grew up in. What I want to know is: what impact has this life had on you? I reach out to you all and ask that you share your story with me, the story of what feminism and sex positivity (or: sex negativity) means to you, the impact it has had on your life and the mark it has left.

I would appreciate hearing from you. We all have stories to share, and my favorite thing to do is listen. Below is a link to my website, which explains more about my background in education, my goals in reaching out to community members, as well as outside links to my personal blog.

vivslaughter14.wix.com/sexpositivity

Take care,
Vivian

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza?  Shame on you!  Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27.  You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out.  Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
  • Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
  • Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
  • Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
  • Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
  • Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos.  I’m a big fan of Hans’.  He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist.  He really knows his wood and his woodies!  We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs.  When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken:  “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great 433a.jpgwooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza.  I lucked out!  Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise:  “That is so true.  Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken:  “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own.  I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise:  “I stand corrected.  Maybe I need to be punished.  ;-)
Ken:  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise:  “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken:  “We seem to be veering off topic.  Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo.  It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry.  Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”

Read more of this review here

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”irubmyduckie.jpg
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage
Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of
Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”

Read more of this review here

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin:  “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one.  That makes is a bit irubmywormie.jpgsmaller than the regular size.  It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina:  “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot.  It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin:  “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!!  Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina:  “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with.  Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy.  If they only knew.

Read more of this review here

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d funfinger-016.jpgfind on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Read more of this review here

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixiejp440.jpg

Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the
G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”

Read more of this review here

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit .jp125.jpg

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” ;-)
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Read more of this review here

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”

Read more of this review here

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Rachel’s Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs).

Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling jp514_d.jpgand walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”
Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”
Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”
Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed
Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Read more of this review here

So there ya have it, Sex Fans.  We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas.  Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.

…Because I Said So!

Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and pervettes to some very appealing playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and the treasure trove that is Dr Dick’s Stockroom, I’m able to bring you another installment of my ever so popular, SEX TOY AWARENESS feature.

Name: Oliver
Gender: male
Age: 32
Location: Atlanta
I want to try a butt plug or at least I think I do. I have a friend who swears by his. The other day he took me to the store to pick up some groceries. All the while he was acting all weird and giggly and stuff. I knew something was up, because the Safeway is just not that festive. He told me later that he was wearing his butt plug while we were shopping. Are these things really that much fun?

Well ya know fun is in the eye (or in this case…the bum) of the beholder. I know a couple of guys (and even one gal) who wear their plugs for hours on end. A plug of modest size can offer loads of stimulation for an extended period of time. And, like your friend, only the wearer will know the source of his/her shit eatin’ grin. My one female friend says she wears hers when she irons. She told me that ironing used to be a chore she dreaded. Now the drudgery has turned to delight, thanks to her prodigious plug. She also reminds me to tell you that plugs are not only for assholes. She has another set of plugs just for her pussy. What a creative lass!

c933.jpgOliver, let me introduce you to your new best friend for life — the Tulip Anal Plug (C933). This gracefully designed butt plug features a rounded tip for effortless penetration. The yielding tulip shape fans out to a wide, 11⁄2 maximum diameter, then slims to a narrow column, making for an effective fit. This toy is meticulously manufactured by hand in the USA using the finest materials available. And that’s really important considering where you’re gonna shove this puppy.

The Tulip Anal Plug is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Platinum Silicone (read: first class stuff). Hypoallergenic, phthalate free, perfectly odorless, this toy is great for people with sensitive skin or for those who want a more environmentally friendly play option. This plug is boilable, bleachable and dishwasher safe. Isn’t it a comfort to know that this nontoxic, waterproof playmate can be so easily sterilized? And last but not least, the wide base provides improved manipulation and a helpful safeguard too.

Name: Patti
Gender: female
Age: 38
Location: Washington DC
My best friends are getting married. They’re going to Canada to get hitched, because my friends are lesbians, and…well you know how we are here in the states about that. Anyhow, I’m looking for an unusual bridal gift…for two brides!

Yeah, I do know how we are here in the states! Maybe Canada will annex us one day.

c212.jpgWhat lesbian bride wouldn’t want one of these delightful toys? The Njoy Fun Wand (C212) is more than a sex toy. It has as many applications as a Swiss Army knife. (And you know how them lesbians love their Swiss Army knives! They never leave home without it.)

The lucky brides will be able to insert one end for amazing g-spot orgasms, or use the beaded end for anal ecstasy. Your friends will be able to practice their Kegel exercises with this thing too. In no time they will have vaginal muscles of steel. And when the dreaded lesbian bed death occurs, as you know it will, the Njoy Fun Wand can be used to apply pressure to knots in their back and shoulder muscles.

Since it is handcrafted from the highest-grade stainless steel, the Njoy Fun Wand will last a lifetime. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. It’s easy to clean with mild soap and water. Measures approximately 8″ in length, with the widest section measuring 1″ in diameter.

It has a hefty weight to it, and it will hold temperature — warm or cold — just in case your friends have a little kink to them.

j420.jpgName: Ward Clever
Gender: male
Age: 40
Location: Suburban, USA
My wife, June, has been passing around the beaver, if you know what I mean. This has got to stop. That beaver belongs to me. What do you suggest I do to teach her a lesson?

Dear Ward, I know how trying it can be when the little woman wanders. What’s a husband to do? I think it’s time to trap Beaver Cleaver, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Here’s what you’ll need to get the job done. Deluxe Female Chastity Belt, Pink Leather (J420), a top quality piece of pink leather BDSM fetish gear. So feminine, yet so sturdy!

This deluxe locking chastity belt has a waist belt, and a second belt going between the legs flaring out in an hourglass shape around the crotch area, giving more coverage in front and in back, while narrowing between the legs to conform to pelvic anatomy. Ward, my friend, not only will this little number trap June’s beaver, it will keep her bunghole from wandering too!

This leather harness is a full-fledged chastity belt. Both belts are adjustable and lockable. The whole belt requires four locks (not included). Remember, beavers are wily creatures; so security is a must if you want to get the job done right.

Name: Cameron
Gender: male
Age: 24
Location: Winnipeg
Doc, I’m fed up spending so much money on disposable douches. Is there anything out there that is safe and reusable?

b004.jpgYou’re in luck, darlin’! The Shur Shot (B004) is a douche/enema nozzle that is outfitted for use as a shower attachment.

The nozzle is 6″ (15cm) long. It’s attached to a metal hose almost 6 feet (1.7 meters) long. On the other end of the hose is a valve, which you screw on to your shower spigot. Then both your showerhead and the 6-foot hose attach to the valve. In one position, the valve will direct the water flow to the Shur Shot, and in the other position the water goes to your showerhead. Isn’t that brilliant engineering?

Here’s a tip, when you buy a product like this, be sure you buy quality. I do not recommend the cheaper plastic models you sometimes see around. If you buy the Shur Shot you can be confident that blasted thing will last. You will also have the proper length of hose, which is like totally important for reaching those hard to get at spots.

Name: Bette
Gender: female
Age: 45
Location: Redding, CA
One of the medications I take every day has a very unfortunate side effect. It causes acute vaginal dryness and that, as you know, can make intercourse painful. I’ve tried several lubes, but they only seem to help on the surface and I need deeper lubrication. Is there anything you can suggest?

c123.jpgYou betcha! I have just the thing for you. Holy cow, check out the Lube Shooter (C123). This package comes with 3 disposable lube shooters that put lube where you want it, deep in your pussy! No more wasted lube! No more messy sheets. Just a comfortable fuck!

Simply remove the plunger, pour the lube into the shooter. Replace the plunger and depress until the lube begins to ooze. Insert the lube shooter into your pussy and slowly depress the lever. How fun is that? This handy device is perfect for lubing up one’s ass for some deep slippery butt fuckin’ too. But probably you perverts figured that out already, huh?

Good luck Ya’ll

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