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The Erotic Mind of Heidi Champa — Podcast #202 — 04/26/10


Hey sex fans,

After the last couple of weeks of nothing but Q&A, I am so happy to get back to The Erotic Mind podcast series today. And boy, do I ever have an exceptionally charming…and I might add smutty…guest for you to meet. I’m delighted to welcome Heidi Champa to the show.

Today we travel to the wilds of south-central Pennsylvania to spend some time with Heidi in her natural habitat. We discover that lurking behind her mild-mannered and unassuming exterior there is an erotic powerhouse. We also discover that she is just hitting her stride as a published author. So look out world! Which only reinforces my belief that there is a creative erotic impulse hidden in all of us; that once let loose it will transform us and our world. Exciting stuff this, sex fans!

And to show you what I mean, Heidi will read a tantalizing selection from the fruit of her Erotic Mind. It’ll make you want to touch yourself impurely; I promise.

Heidi and I discuss:

  • Her website and her collection of stunning eye candy.
  • Why she self-identifies as a smut peddler.
  • Writing under her real name.
  • Who is this Heidi Champa person anyway?
  • What, in her life, sparks her erotic creations.
  • The skill necessary for creating petite yet powerful works of art.
  • Writing a “snapshot”.
  • Using words that arouse as well as startle.

Heidi invites you to visit her on her website HERE! Or find her on Facebook HERE!

Click on the cover art below to purchase books.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

 

Batter UP

It’s Product Review Friday! Today, we’re gonna do some winding up before we pitch. That is we wind up our first installment of products from SexToy.com. today. We also conclude the Elbow Grease reviews that we started back in February. See them HERE.

Today’s Review Crew Members: Mick & Chuck and Ken & Denise.

Parachute Ball Stretcher —— $15.84

3 Snap Pyramid Studded Cock Strap —— $7.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have two great fun toys to tell you about. There’s a Ball Stretcher and a Cock Strap.”
Chuck: “You can use these together or separately. But we want to talk about them one at a time.”
Mick: “First up let’s take a look at this fine Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s the perfect cock and ball accessory and it’s functional too. Cockrings or, in this case, a strap are the first line of defense for erections. I think if more men knew about and used one of these devices there’d be less need for ED meds, like Viagra.”
Chuck: “Mick and I have a big collection of rings and straps between us. We both love the way they strengthen our erections. I’m partial to the strap kind of device, like this Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s easily adjusted for whatever kind of look I’m going for. Say I want a nice hard cock to pound some hot ass. I simply tighten the strap till it’s snug. But if I want to use it as jewelry to dress up my junk like for walkin around a sex club or a play party; well there’s nothing better than a studded cock strap. It beautifully frames your cock and balls.  It has three snaps so it adjusts from 1.75 to 3 inches in diameter.”
Mick: “The black leather and studs are hot! Ya know, I’m seeing more and more younger guys using a strap like the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap on their wrist these days. Is it a fashion statement, or is it just that they want to be prepared for the unexpected hookup that could occur at any time?”
Chuck: “Either way, the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap is great. One thing you should know, however, is that ya gotta keep the strap clean if you want it to look its best and last. Wipe it down with a cloth dampened with warm soapy water and let it dry fully. Oil based lubes will take a toll on the leather if not cared for properly.”
Mick: “Good point!
Now let’s move on to the Parachute Ball Stretcher. Chuck has a set of beautiful low hanging balls. I dig this look a lot. I, on the other hand, was not so blessed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have what I admire. All I have to do is work on it and they will be mine.”
Chuck: “That’s where the Parachute Ball Stretcher comes in. Ya strap the black leather parachute thingy on to your ball sack snug up against your cock. This allows the chains suspended from it to hang free. And this is where things get interesting. With the Parachute Ball Stretcher in place, you can add weights to it; ya know for stretching your nut sack.  No weights come with this package, but it’s not too difficult to find even makeshift weights around the house; and then there’s always the hardware store. There’s a O-ring on the end of the chains that make attaching the weights a snap.”
Mick: “If you’ve never tried ball stretching you’re in for a treat. It is very erotic and it actually works to add some length to how your jewels hang. I get off on this thing big time. The leather parachute is comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. My only caution to you is that you start out slow. Don’t go piling on the weights till you know what you’re doing.”
Full Review HERE

For review purposes, our friends at Elbow Grease sent us a 1 oz container of each of their products —
ELBOW GREASE Hot Light —— $4.75

ELBOW GREASE Original —— $4.75

Ken & Denise
Denise: “Finding just the right lube for anal can be a challenge. We’ve tried several; some work better than others. But for my money, (Actually, the review sample we got was free, but you get the idea.) ELBOW GREASE Original is the best. It’s thick and creamy and it lasts and lasts. It’s the most long lasting lube we’ve tried.”

Ken: “Curiously enough, we’d never tried ELBOW GREASE Original before, because we had never heard of it before. We were talking to some gay friends about this very thing and they couldn’t believe their ears. ‘You’ve never hear of Elbow Grease? That’s impossible. It’s been around for like fucking ever.’”
Denise: “Who Knew? I think it’s a gay thing!”
Ken: “Yeah, maybe that’s it. Anyhow, ELBOW GREASE Original really stands up to whatever you throw its way. A small amount is all we really needed for some big time ass play. Denise loves her toys!”
Denise: “You have to remember that ELBOW GREASE Original is an oil-based lube and it’s not for use with latex condoms. But if you and your playmate don’t have to worry about stuff like that, then have yourself a ball…or two.”
Ken: “This shit is great for those marathon jerkoff sessions us men really love. Well, I do anyhow. Listen, if it can stand up to intense ass play, you know for certain that it will serve you and your palm very well.
Speaking of the hot set up for pullin your pud, try yourself some ELBOW GREASE Hot Light. It’s kinda like the original formula, but it has menthol that heats things up pretty nice. Ya rub it in and in a matter of moments things are warming up in more ways than one. It’s the kind of warmth that you’d experience if you were rubbing skin on skin without any lube. It’s a real treat.”

Denise: “I really got off on this stuff too when I played with myself one afternoon. The warming sensation is not in anyway over the top; as I feared it might be. It’s warm, not burny. I have pretty sensitive skin, so at first I was a little leery of using it internally. But there were no adverse effects, I’m happy to report.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Spring Break 2010

We’re all on SPRING BREAK, don’t cha know!

 

Free Your Mind!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. In fact these are our last reviews before our annual Spring Break. The Dr Dick Review Crew will return on 04/09/10

But before we leave for our moment in the sun, we want to bring you some swell toys with a bit of an edge to them. I keep hearing from people that we don’t review nearly enough fetish and kink stuff. Point taken!

The problem has always been connecting with a good edgy toy company that wanted to send us stuff for review. But I believe I now have that problem solved. We welcome a new retailer — Spartacus Leathers. And they are Pacific Northwest neighbors, dont’ cha know; from Portland Oregon.

Review Crew members Gina & Kevin are back with us and they will show & tell us about these three kinky toys.

Nipple Clamps with Vibrator —— $39.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh it’s been a while since our last review. Great to be back.”
Kevin: “Yeah, and finally some kinky toys, ya’ll.”
Gina: “I was just rereading the first review I did with Kevin way back in August 2008.  I can’t get over how much I’ve changed since then. For one thing, I’ve discovered I have a real kinky side to me. I can thank all those years of Catholic school for that.”
Kevin: “You can say that again. Gina is maturing into a real pervert. I love it!”
Gina: “I’m discovering that I have a preference for the Dom role, but I can also switch for some sub action.”
Kevin: “When I began introducing Gina to BDSM we played with household items — clothespins, scarves, belts, rubber bands and hairbrushes!”
Gina: “But now we have some real stuff. Case in point; our very own set of Nipple Clamps with Vibrator.”
Kevin: “The nipple tweezer clamps part rocks. However, I was completely under whelmed by the vibe part. It had way more of a tickling sensation than a vibration sensation. I felt it actually detracted from the play instead of enhancing it.”
Gina: “I liked this set up more than Kevin did. The adjustable clamps are very nice. Having them being on an 18″ link chain adds to the possibilities. But Kevin is right, not too much zoom in the vibe, but it is very quiet. I think the design would improve if the vibe was a bit heavier and it had more kick to it.”
Kevin: “There was this great unintentional treat though. When I was wearing the clamps I inadvertently dragged the bullet along Gina’s body while I was on top of her. She clearly got more pleasure from the vibe in this way than I did.”
Full Review HERE

Divinity White Leather Blindfold —— $25.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “I love blindfolds! I love the wear them as much as I love playing with someone who is wearing them. Anyone who hasn’t tried a blindfold doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Gina: “I totally agree. When one sense is incapacitated the other senses are heightened. We’ve played with blindfolding one another on numerous occasions. It’s so much fun. However the Divinity White Leather Blindfold is our very first “real” blindfold. It’s made of actual leather and it has a plush blue faux fur lining. They even added three faux gems too.”
Kevin: “It’s like totally over the top girly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Having someone blindfolded and at your mercy is just as much fun. You get to experiment with the elements of surprise and trust in your play.”
Gina: “It fits surprisingly well. It has a wide elastic headband that should fit all but the tiniest of heads and the headband is very comfortable too. That make wearing it for long periods of play time a pleasure.”
Kevin: “Yeah, the fleece lined eye pieces are absolutely wonderful and allow me to keep it over my eyes for hours without any strain at all.”
Gina: “If you’ve never played with sensory deprivation before — especially blindfolds — I highly recommend it. Divinity White Leather Blindfold is a perfect toy for either those who are just starting out or who have a great deal of experience.”
Full Review HERE

V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider —— $18.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Finally I have something exclusively for me. I’m a big fan of cockrings and this V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is great. I love the way it looks and feels”
Gina: “Again, I totally agree. He looks so hot in this thing. Sometimes I make him do the housework wearing only it.”
Kevin: “She’s gonna be an amazing dominatrix one of these days.”
Gina: “Thanks honey! We aim to please.”
Kevin: “This is made of soft oiltan leather and the V-style divider firmly separates my balls while providing the pleasurable and erection enhancing effects of a cockring.
I am blessed with a pair of low hangers, so this kind of cockring is fantastic. The simple snap closure design allows me to adjust the tightness of both the ring and ball divider straps.  Very cool!.
I got the black leather version, but it also come in red leather. The nickel-free hardware made for sensitive skin, is only available in black. I encourage you to spend the extra couple bucks. The snaps will look nicer and last longer too.
The V-style lifts my “equipment” up and out of the way of my taint and asshole.This  clears the path for Gina to terrorize my ass with a butt plug or strap-on on me when she’s blowin’ me. I tell you, there’s nothing finer!
Like I mentioned, the cockring portion does help me maintain my erection allowing me to last longer when we’re fucking.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

Well then…

Name: Stanford
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Green Bay
I was wondering if you have any suggestions for a homemade dildo?

Do you actually want to craft a dildo yourself? Or is this more a question about what might be readily available to safely bugger yourself with?

If you want to make one yourself, there are several “Make-your-own-dildo” kits out there. You can find them online. They supply you with everything you need to make a latex dildo cast of your own dong. And from that the dildo is made. How fun! But wait, what if you are princess tiny-meat? Cloning your you own willie will satisfy no one, no how. Unless you know someone with a more ample endowment that will lend you his hog for the mold, this is probably not the way for you to go.

A trip to the supermarket might be your next best bet. People have been stuffing fruits and vegetables in every possible orifice for as long as there have been fruits and vegetables…and orifices to stuff. Bananas, zucchini, corn cobs, cucumbers, and well the list goes on and on. One word of caution, make sure that whatever you’re poppin’ in your pooper is long enough that you can keep hold of it while you are workin’ your magic. You definitely don’t want it to let whatever slip past your sphincter and lodge itself inside your rectum. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a trip to the emergency room to have someone fish whatever you got in there out of you bum.

If you’re the least bit competent as a woodworker you could fashion something pleasurable from a hardwood, like maple or oak. The do-it-yourself craftsman will be able to make the exact size he needs and wants. He’ll take pride in sanding, buffing and curing his creation with olive oil before use.

No woodturning tools? Not to worry. A trip to the local Homo Depot may be the answer. Look for wooden dowels. They come in many widths and lengths. Since doweling is often made of a softer wood, the dildo craftsman will be able to round off the top of the dowel using a rasp with relative ease. But because the wood is soft, he’ll have to seal his creation in a smooth varathane or polyurethane finish. Never, ever insert uncured or unfinished wood. Besides the danger of splinters, untreated wood is very porous and you’ll never get the damned thing clean after the first use.

Another word of caution; some people are allergic to various materials or polishes. So test all materials first.

Here’s a dildo-making project just about anyone can do. Make your own beanie baby dildo. You will need several latex condoms, water based lube and whole dried beans or peas. Take a condom fill it with the dried beans and/or peas and tie off the end. Coat the condom with lube and slip it into another condom and tie that one off too. If you want to be super-safe, add a third condom. The beauty part of using dried peas or beans is that, should the condoms break while you’re pleasuring yourself and you lose some of the contents in your love cave, you’ll be able to eliminate them with ease with your next bowel movement. And there’s nothing toxic in dried beans!

But what if you want something more stiff? Building a dildo out of modeling clay might be the answer. You can find this material at your local crafts store. You can be very creative with the shape and size. You’ll also be able to flare the end of the thing so there won’t be a worry of it getting past your sphincter. Before the clay dries, consider pressing dried beans into the shaft for some added texture. Once your new phallus is completely dry you can finish it with a polyurethane seal. However, I encourage you to use a condom over your newly created cock substitute. Even with a sealed dildo like this one.

Name: Heidi & Werner
Gender: couple
Age: 32 & 34
Location: Arizona
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we love each other very much. About five years into our marriage, while on a retreat for couples, we discovered we are both bisexual. As a consequence we gave each other permission to explore our same-sex interests. For the most part this has worked out really well. At this point in our marriage, however, we’d like to move beyond the casual semi-furtive affairs we’ve been having and embrace polyamory. Problem is we don’t know any other people who are living in successful polyamorous relationships. Is polyamory a viable option even for a few lucky souls?

Congratulations on living a successful marriage, especially since you guys are taking such a non-traditional approach. That can’t be easy. I wish there was a way the two you could bottle whatever it is that you apparently have in spades that allows you to make such an honest assessment of yourselves and your marriage. You must be remarkable people. I’m so glad that you took the time to write.

As a matter of fact, I know a bunch of very successful, long-lasting polyamorous relationships. Most are comprised of people already on the sexual fringe — queer folk, currant and former swingers and kinksters. However, they all tend to keep the dimensions of their relationships relatively private. It takes a lot of psychic energy to live polyamorously, exponentially more than in a traditional marriage. This tends to leave less psychic energy for flying in the face of the popular culture. Of course the down side of this is there are, as you suggest, few good public role models for polyamory.

Connecting with other like-minded people is less of a challenge these days than in years past thanks to the marvels of the internets, don’t cha know. And being bisexuals, as you are, my make things even easier. I suppose you know this already, but for those in my audience who don’t, polyamory is not the same thing as swinging. Swinging is more about recreational or sport sex; partners having consensual casual sex with others, either other couples or individuals. Swinging is also generally a heterosexual phenomenon. Female bisexual behavior is allowed and even encouraged. The same cannot be said about male bisexual behavior. This seems like an unfortunate double standard to me, but in this respect swinging reflects traditional sexual mores.

Polyamory, on the other hand, connotes more of an emotional bond, a relationship that exceeds pure sport fucking. But not surprisingly many polyamorous relationships evolve from more casual swinger connections. So let’s not knock that.

If you both are seriously into polyamory you’ll have an easier time of it too. The downfall of many budding polyamorists has to do with the reservations one or another in the couple may have about the lifestyle. The one with reservations may play along for a while thinking that this new venture will grow on him/her, but it doesn’t. Some folks are monogamous and it’s breed in the bone. Others are non-monogamous, equally breed in the bone. Trying to convert one or the other to an alternative way of thinking is simply not gonna happen.

The big bugaboo in any type of relationship will be jealousy. You guys seem to have avoided that poison, and again congratulations. The couples retreat you mentioned my have provided you the communication tools you needed to open yourselves to one another in an honest and forthright way. These communication skills will be particularly useful in forming polyamorous relationships too. Whatever the configuration of your future relationships, all parties must allow for and invite an honest and open exchange about passions, desires and needs. And from time to time each individual in the polyamorous relationship will prioritize these things differently. Expect lots of diversity. For more about this see my friend, polyamorous proDOM, Mistress Matisse’s column HERE!

There’s no “one way” to be polyamorous. Some people express their polyamory by having one primary partnership with one or more satellite relationships. They prefer monogamy with one partner but have an open relationship with others. Some polyamorists live in triads or loosely structured groups. Some people express their polyamory by having all partners and lovers as part of an extended family— raising kids together and taking care of elders together. Strong polyamorous relationships carried a number of my closest friends through the worst of the AIDS crisis in the mid 80’s. While you guys seem pretty clear on what you want for yourselves, you may want to be on the lookout for potential partners with incompatible passions needs and desires.

As we all know, a big part of effective communication in a relationship is exploring and expressing feelings. Another part, one that is often overlooked, is the art of negotiation. How do partners and lovers negotiate for what they need and want? “I want to try something new with someone new.” “My lover and I need some private time.” Mature people are flexible, but they also have healthy boundaries. Giving your partner the freedom to share him/herself intimately with others as he/she desires is easier when it is based on the guidelines that you and your partner agree to first. Of course these will need to be readjusted from time to time as new situations evolve.

A secret to successful polyamory is working to maintain a strong primary partnership, in your case, with each other. The more comfortable and secure you guys are with one another, the easier it will be for you to free one another up for others. When the primary relationship is healthy and safe, the polyamorous relationship will add to the support structure, not diminishes it.

Interestingly enough, not all polyamorous relationships are sexual in nature. For example, one person in the group relationship may have a sexual connection with another, while that person enjoys a platonic relationship with that someone else.

One thing for certain, you guys will have to decide what sort of people will be positive additions to your lives. And that will entail a good deal of trial and error. Like my daddy always used to say, “ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.” Remember not everyone who aspires to polyamory is capable of it, nor is everyone one who is capable of being polyamorous suited to be with everyone else who is.

For more about this timely topic I refer you to the two podcasts I did with the insanely marvelous Cunning Minx of PolyWeekly. Look for them HERE and HERE!

Good luck ya’ll