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Name: Jon
Gender: Male
Age: 65
Location: Surrey, B,C, Canada
Dear Dr Dick, I’m on Avodart because of my high PSA reading, as a result my sperm count is now down to zero. I understand it’s the drug’s side effect, is this reversible? I haven’t totally lost interest in sex and still jerk off from time to time. I realize that I need to make adjustments (e.g. becoming a total bottom) and find other body contact pleasures. I’m an attractive Asian and still get lots of attention in Vancouver’s baths. Another recurring menopausal problem I have are hot flashes when sleeping, how long do I put up with it? Love your website! Is Richard Wagner your real name?
Yours, Jon

Thanks for your kind words, Jon. Yes, Richard Wagner is my real name.

To understand your question about the side effects of Avodart; I need to ask you a question. Are you sure you are talking about sperm count? Avodart is a prostate directed medication for men with a high PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) reading. It has nothing to do with your testicles, which produce your sperm. And how would you know about your sperm count in the first place?

I think you may be speaking about the diminished amount of spooge (ejaculate) you produce while on the drug. That would make much more sense than a depleted sperm count. Because your prostate is responsible, in large part, for the amount of jizz you produce. And since the drug shrinks your prostate, it’s completely understandable that less cum would be an unfortunate side effect of the drug. Is it reversible? I suppose if you stopped taking the drug your prostate might regain its previous vigor, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. Your age may have a lot to do with this too, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

You probably are also experiencing erection problems on this drug too, right? Some of that is age related, of course. But one of the more unpleasant side effects of this, or any other medication that targets one’s prostate, is the loss of libido and wood. A nice cockring might be helpful. Have you tried one of those little buggers? They also look real nice in the bathhouse, don’t cha know.

You also ask about another recurring menopausal problem — hot flashes. Allow me to help you with some of your vocabulary. Menopause is a female thing. Andropause is the male equivalent. Like menopause, andropause is a result of a decrease in hormone levels, testosterone and androgen in our case, as we age.

Yeah, hot flashes are sure enough a good sign that one is in the throws of andropause. They often disappear on their own. But some people advocate hormone replacement therapy for us older dudes. This is very controversial, however. Many in the medical industry believe the hormone replacement, particularly testosterone, increases the risk of prostate cancer. Personally, I don’t believe this is true. I am unaware of any studies that actually make that correlation. On the other hand, living with diminished hormone levels clearly has some very unpleasant side effects, like the ones you are experiencing.

In the final analysis, each of us needs to make up his own mind about this, weighing all the pros and cons.

Good luck

Sex Therapy—What Is It and Who Needs It? – Part 1

I’m often asked about my work as a sex therapist. I’m surprised at how few people have any sense of what a sexologist does. While I can’t speak for all my fellow therapists, I can tell you a bit about my own practice.

Most of the work I do is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): short-term, goal-directed and personally liberating (I don’t believe this kind of therapy should become a lifestyle). Basically, I suggest that people with sexual issues change the behaviors that contribute to their problems as a surefire way to solve them. I try to give my clients all the tools they need to successfully work things out on their own once the therapeutic intervention is over. This approach doesn’t fit everyone; however, 99.9 percent of the people I work with respond positively.

I encourage my clients to give themselves permission to investigate their sexuality. This in turn assists them in taking charge of making themselves feel better and/or perform better. And as soon as they do, they almost immediately have a greater sense of wellbeing. Like they say, nothing breeds success like success.

Once we identify an area of concern, my client and I create a plan of action for them to implement. I believe the more an individual is part of their own healing process, the more productive that process will be.

Sadly, I find that fewer and fewer people are willing to give their sexual issues the attention they deserve. Rather than investing the time and energy to get to the bottom of their issues, many opt instead for the quick fix—the “Give me a pill for that” mentality. They’re often unwilling to make the necessary lifestyle changes to actually solve their problems. For example, I encounter people who are eating themselves to death, or abusing alcohol or drugs. Of course they have the accompanying sexual response issues—erection problems for men and arousal concerns for women. They may desperately want to resolve these issues, but without committing to any change in behavior—i.e.: “I want my erection back, but I won’t stop drinking”—such interventions almost always ends in disappointment.

Sexual dysfunction of one sort or another is the issue I see most recurrently in my practice, although the reason why a client reaches out varies. Sometimes an individual’s tolerance level peaks, and they finally decide to do something about an issue that may have been smoldering for years. Sometimes it’s a partner who brings in their proverbially “broken” partner, telling me to “fix him/her.”

Couples often seek sex therapy together, as sexual problems tend to be more obvious within relationships. However, by the time the couple comes for therapy, the issues have most likely been plaguing them for some time. The relationship often comes close to ending before the couple agrees to address the problem. For example: Say a guy brings his wife in because she’s “frigid,” whatever that may entail. They’ve been married for X-number of years, and he’s finally had it. She, on the other hand, doesn’t want to be in therapy, because she doesn’t really think there’s anything wrong with her. She just doesn’t want to have sex anymore, and she doesn’t want to discuss it. Period.

This is a difficult way to start therapy. Resentments are high and frustrations rage. If the couple does continue, we usually discover that there’s also something desperately wrong with the husband. Inevitably, we ascertain that he’s an ineffectual lover—and his inability to pleasure his wife is the root of her “problem.” It’s often painfully clear that he knows little (if anything) about his wife’s sexual needs or desires. Meanwhile, the wife has never had permission to know her body, so she’s unable to help or direct him. As you can imagine in a case like this, there’s a load of remedial sex education that must come before anything else is resolved.

Couples also seek therapy when one spouse has cheated on the other. The “cheat-ee” declares, in no uncertain terms, that this therapy is the last-ditch effort before “the end of the road.” Often in such cases, it’s too late for a successful intervention, because each partner is so angry and shamed that the chance of turning the situation around is slim. Sometimes the best we can do is end the relationship with as little acrimony as possible.

In difficult couple counseling situations like this, my first effort is to get the couple to disarm. There will be no sex therapy—and God knows there is a need for sex therapy—until there is some semblance of peace between partners. If we don’t establish at least a small bank of goodwill, our efforts are doomed.

We’ll pick this up next week at this time.

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A High-Summer Q&A Show — Podcast #293 — 07/25/11

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Holy cow, where has the time gone? Here it is the end of July and we haven’t had a Q&A show since early last month. And because of that my email in-box is overflowing! Besides a big hot load of questions from the sexually worrisome out there I have a special treat for you today. I am pleased to announce that my most excellent summer intern, Monique, will be joining me for today’s show.

That’s right, sex fans, someone high up at the University of Washington made the ill-advised decision to let me mentor an impressionable young lass for the summer. I mean, what in the world were they thinking, right? Well, as it turns out, my most excellent summer intern, Monique, is pretty gal-darn amazing, as you will soon hear for yourself.

  • Jessie can’t get off by herself or with her BF.
  • Ruben has a big hard dick, but only when he’s by himself.

Monique and I discuss:

  • Joe who jerks off to porn a lot.
  • Claire who claims she is a 31-year-old lesbian virgin.
  • Nipple Dude who’s into DYS nipple torture.

Finally

  • Sammy and her GF have a messed up relationship.
  • Owen wants to restore his foreskin.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

The Erotic Mind of Lucy Felthouse — Podcast #273 — 04/11/11

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

We’re back with more of The Erotic Mind series, but today we return to our roots, the world of words. After several weeks of chats with noted erotic visual artists we resume our conversation with an erotic literary artist of note. Today we travel to a county in the East Midlands of England, Derbyshire to be exact, to check in with the marvelous up and coming author, Lucy Felthouse.

Lucy and I discuss:

  • A list of her publications;
  • Being her own publisher;
  • The inspiration of the Peak District in the UK;
  • The evolution of the role of women in erotica;
  • Her erotica clearinghouse site, Eroticaforall.co.uk;
  • Writing under her real name;
  • When the erotic element began to appear in her work;
  • Advice for the novice erotica writer;
  • The challenge of choosing just the right genital euphemism.

Lucy is quite the outdoorswoman and so when I prevail upon her to share a selection of the fruit of her Erotic Mind, she graciously agrees to read a delectable morsel from her short story, Fun In The Forest.

For more of Lucy, be sure to visit her on her site HERE! She also invites you to check out the erotica supersite she founded HERE! And look for her on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE!

(click on the thumbnails below to get more information about these volumes)


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 1

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again. And today we launch our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide. Over the next five weeks we will feature a boatload of adult products for naughty boys and girls.

We have numerous manufacturers and retailers participating with us this year. So we will bring you an array of goodies from high-end pleasure objects to inexpensive novelty items. I can pretty much guarantee that this year’s guide will have something for everyone.

Let’s start off with two products from our friends at Good Vibrations.

Night of Romance Kit —— $18.00

Jada
My husband and I were babysitting our 5-year-old niece for a few days a couple weeks ago. She’s at that stage when mimicking adult behavior is so much fun. She loves dress up and playing house, but her favorite thing is having a tea party. She took great pains to put on an elaborate party for me when we stayed with her. Everything had to be just right and it was all in miniature; it was so cute. Her joy was truly contagious.

These few days with my niece rekindled in me a sense of playfulness that carried over to a weekend get away with my man. I decided to save the Night of Romance Kit that I received to review for this special weekend. It’s actually a miniature plastic handbag that contains a Vibrating Couples Ring, a 5oz container of Please Pleasure Cream and a 5oz container of Touch Me Massage Oil.
Full Review HERE!

Good Clean Love Lubricant —— $16.00

Christa
Ya know what I dig about Good Clean Love Lubricant? I absolutely get it that it’s organic; well it’s made of 95% organic ingredients anyway. Their corporate logo includes the words: “Chemistry without chemicals”. That rocks!

Good Clean Love Lubricant is a water-based lube, but it has a very natural feel to it. Other water-based lubes I’ve tried can be kinda runny, but not this one. That’s because it’s actually more of a gel than a liquid. If there’s one drawback to a water-based lube it’s that it can dry out with vigorous use. And when I’m pegging my little sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, things can get pretty vigorous, ok? Good Clean Love Lubricant has less of a problem with drying out, but if I find that it is getting a little tacky, I just add a wad of spit. Not very lady-like, you say? Fuck you! Alex totally gets off on spit. So I’m happy to oblige.
Full Review HERE!

Here’s a mighty big handful of pleasure from the good folks at Funwares.

Nexus Max 5 —— $69.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “This here is the Nexus Max 5. The package says it’s a G-spot massager. But, if you ask me, it should also say it’s a P-spot massager.”
Hank: “Glenn thinks everything belongs in his ass.”
Glenn: “That’s not exactly true. But, for the most part, if a toy is designed for G-spot stimulation it’ll probably work wonders on your prostate too. That being said, I’ll admit that the Nexus Max 5 is not for beginners!”
Hank: “That’s an understatement. I couldn’t get the first knob on the insertable end past my rosebud.”
Glenn: “Yep, this is a professional grade insertable, that’s for sure. But for a talented power bottom like me, there’s nothing too it.”
Hank: “I love the shape of it. The Nexus Max 5 is made of medical grade silicone, which is one of the safest and most hygienic sex toy materials available. It’s completely smooth and when you lube it up, with a water-based lube, (and make sure you only use water-based lube) it’s slick and slippery and basically slides into Glenn’s ass like a hot knife through butter.”
Glenn: “The unique shape of the Nexus Max 5 makes it so easy to handle, even when lubed up. You, or your partner, can get a real good grip on the thing. And you can power-fuck your ass with it too, although most guys will probably just use it as a butt plug. Here’s the thing, if you can’t easily insert at least two or three fingers in your hole, this toy is not for you.”
Hank: “I swear my man has the most talented ass in town. It’s been known to swallow my entire fist, so the Nexus Max 5 is a cakewalk for him. It comes with a removable bullet vibe, which has 3 variable speeds of vibration. It runs on one of those little round watch batteries and it comes already loaded with a battery right out of the package.”
Full Review HERE!

Now we welcome a brand new manufacturer to our review family. Just about everyone’s favorite high-class video production house, Digital Playground is not making sex toys too. We have two to share with you today.

Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet —— $24.99

Ken & Denise
Ken: “Denise and I are huge fans of Digital Playground. In fact our all time favorite movie is Pirates.”
Denise: “So imagine our delight when we heard that Digital Playground is now producing a line of sex toys with the Pirates theme.”
Ken: “Think of it as an adult version of the movie themed toys kids get at a fast food outlet.”
Denise: “We scored the Riley’s Pleasure Ring w/ Silver Bullet for review. It’s named after the porn star, Riley Steele, who appears in Pirates 2.”
Ken: “You get this white stretchy cockring that is molded with skulls and a hook to keep with the pirate theme. It’s pretty funny, actually. Anyhow, there’s a barrel shaped thingy on the top of the ring, this is where the silver bullet attaches to the ring in a horizontal fashion.”
Denise: “It is pretty comical, but it works! The bullet has 3 speeds and two pulse settings for variety. It’s amazing what they’re able to do with bullet vibes these days. It used to be, and not so long ago, they were only one speed.”
Full Review HERE!

Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker —— $24.99

Brad
Jesse Jane is my favorite porn star. I think I have at least a half dozen of her movies, including the two Pirates movies. So when I saw the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker at Dr Dick’s place, I asked if I could review it.

I want to start my review with how the stroker looks in its package. The clear molded plastic case features a totally hot pic of Ms Jane in her pirate costume. You can see the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker through the clear plastic and it looks like an ice sculpture. Very cool! I know ya can’t tell a book by its cover, but the presentation is totally hot, especially for a Jesse Jane fan, like me.

I opened the package and fished out the jelly-like stroker. It’s made of Cyberskin, which really soft, floppy and squishy. I have to say; upon closer inspection of the stroker outside the package, it is a little eerie. It’s like this see-through elf of a Jesse Jane. There’s also a sweet smell to it, almost like strawberry shortcake. I kid you not.

The thing about this stroker is that it has two small apertures at either end of Jesse’s tiny body — one where her asshole would be and the other at her mouth. Since you can see right through her body, you can also see the textured canal that is supposed to surround your dick when you fuck this thing. I mean that’s what a masturbator is all about, right?

Right off the bat I’m thinkin’ I’m never gonna get my 7.5” thick cock into the Jesse Jane’s Pirate Booty Stroker no matter how stretchy the Cyberskin is. But I proceeded anyhow. I got my favorite water-based lube; it’s the only kind of lube I’d ever use with Cyberskin. Funny, there’s nothing on the package that would warn a user about that. In fact the package has no information about the care and handling of this special material. And that’s way too bad, because if you use the wrong kind of lube with Cyberskin it will disintegrate. And if you don’t care for it after each and every use, you will destroy it.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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