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More SEX WISDOM With Katie Querna — Podcast #427 — 09/10/14


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

As you remember from last week, this week marks the end of my podcasting career. I’ve done 427 shows in just under eight years and I’ve decided that’s plenty. While I am exceptionally proud of the quality programming I’ve brought to you, my international audience, it’s time to call it quits. But I’m happy to report, all my podcasts are archived right here on my site and they will remain so for the foreseeable feature. So I hope you will visit often.

For my last show I welcome back my good friend, colleague, social worker, and real life neighbor, Katie Querna for Part 2 of her appearance on this the SEX WISDOM show.IMG_6200

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this conversation, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because, like I mentioned above, all my podcasts are archived here. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #426 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Katie and I discuss:

  • Sex pairings and sex role stereotyping;
  • Gayle Rubin’s “Charmed Circle”;
  • The disparity in access to reproductive and sexual health care for women and men;
  • Fear of sex and sexuality;
  • Children, teens, sex, and gender;
  • Learning is a lifelong process.

Katie invites you to visit her on her site HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes they will remain archived there as well. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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Quickies

Name: r68tool
Gender: Male
Age: 52
Location: Montana
Doc, I have been an insulin-dependent diabetic for 25 years. I’m also a post-operative kidney transplant recipient. I have not been able to achieve nor maintain any kind of erection for the past 19 years. I have visited several urologists, but they have been useless. I am able to manipulate my cock to have a semi-hard erection by tying a leather string around my scrotum and cock. I can sometimes get very erect. But when I orgasm, I NEVER ejaculate sperm. I’m convinced that there must be blockage to prevent an erection and semen flow. Any suggestions? Do I need surgery?

Do you ABSOLUTELY need to ejaculate when you orgasm? Lots of guys with medical issues, like yours, don’t. There are also many men who practice ejaculation control as part of Tantric sex.cock,schlong, dong

I don’t believe you have a blockage of any sort. The glands that produce the bulk of your ejaculate may have atrophied due to the diabetes. This is not uncommon. If this is the case, no surgery is gonna fix that.

That being said; I have a tip for you. If you are self-conscious about not having an ejaculate when you cum, check out Spunk Lube. It’s the lube that looks and feels just like jizz.

Good luck

Name: Emily
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Location: Ohio
I have been having sex with this guy I met for a week now and he’s only cum once. We have foreplay and then we have sex… We try all positions but then his dick goes limp. Is it because of me? He says he likes to have sex with me but I’m confused, why isn’t he cumming? We usually have sex for hours at a time… I squirt and keep my pussy moist so what’s the problem here?

Performance anxiety causing delayed ejaculation. That would be my guess.

Use the search function at the top of the sidebar to your right, type in performance anxiety and you’ll be presented with a load of information about this issue and how to handle it.

Here’s a little taste of what you will find:

Most of us experts believe that the majority of delayed ejaculation concerns are not physical in nature, but rather they are the product of psychological problems. Perhaps your friend would benefit from a professional evaluation.

cordially invitedGenerally, the object of a sexological intervention is to diffuse the guy’s sexual anxieties so that he can comfortably cum with his partner without difficulty.

When I see this issue in my therapy practice, I offer my clients a series of homework assignments that are designed to reduce performance pressure and focus on pleasure. These are relaxation exercises and sensate focus exercises.

I call a moratorium on fucking for a limited period of time, so the couple can learn other means of sexually pleasuring one another. I try to get my clients to stay in the moment; absorb the pleasure that is present without worrying about what is “supposed to” happen. I encourage my clients to create a relaxed, sexy atmosphere, free of pressure to perform in one-way or another. Finally, we address as frankly and openly as possible any and all fears or anxieties they may have as individuals or as a couple. The most common are a fear of intimacy, of being gay, of being in a relationship or of disease.

Some guys report success with hypnosis. But I don’t practice that myself, so I have no first hand knowledge of its efficacy.

However, I do encourage you guys to get to the bottom of this, so to speak, ASAP. To leave this unaddressed will only cause greater difficulties later on. Just remember, you cannot will a sexual response, just like you cannot will yourself to go to sleep or enjoy something you don’t. And the harder you try to have a certain response, the more inhibited you become.

Good luck

Hi,
I am a male and I am interested in having another man give me oral sex. My question is can I get any STDs by allowing another man to perform oral sex on me? Can you direct me to some information regarding this topic? Thanks!

Ya know, that Google thing really works, my friend! Search for “STD (or STI) and oral sex” and presto! You’ll get a shit-load of info.need a good fuck

Here’s what you will learn: Oral sex is considered a lower risk activity for STDs (or as we prefer to call them, STIs Sexually Transmitted Infections) than are anal and vaginal sex. Even so, it is still possible to get an STD/STI whether you are giving or getting oral sex. Blowjobs can put you at risk for infections like herpes and gonorrhea. If you don’t know where your partner’s mouth has been, and you want to extra protection, use a condom.

Good luck

Hi. I was hoping that maybe you could help me out with this problem.
I really only have minimal experience giving oral sex to a man.
I read your bit about the gag reflex and thank you. I will work on that. I want to talk about teeth. My mouth is not that big, and it is hard for me to keep from scraping my man’s cock with them. My partner wants to fuck my throat. We try, but that seems to always cause problems. I was wondering if you knew of any devices out there that are designed to cover the teeth while only reducing the oral cavity size minimally.

Ya know your jaw is a remarkable thing. With just a little exercise, it can be stretched so that your mouth will open wider. Many people never see the need to stretch their jaw and so the gape of their mouth never increases.

The wider your mouth opens the less your teeth will get in the way of whatever you are inserting in your mouth. It just stands to reason.

Start by doing some simple stretching exercises. Open your mouth as wide as you can and hold it for a count of 5. Do a set of 10 stretches like this at least 3 times a day. You will find that in no time your gape will be larger. You can employ the use of a cock shaped vegetable like a cucumber to aid you in your stretching. Just so you know, this is how the experts (porn stars) ready themselves for the really big ones.

You can get teeth guards as well. But I don’t think the problem lies with your teeth.

Practice these exercises and let me know how you make out, so to speak.

Good luck

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I like to watch…

Name: Jim
Gender: Male
Age: 67
Location: Jacksonville, FL
My question…I like to watch my girlfriend have sex with other men. This particular time she had sex, she told the guy she was going to give him or leave her “love mark” on him and she proceeded to bite his inner thigh. She and he laughed afterwards. Should I be concerned that that she may have feelings for this guy (a total stranger) we found on the internet. Also should she be caressing, fondling, and massaging him, and deep kissing him? She said she was angry with me because I questioned why she went so far. I have been bothered by this but she says there was nothing but acting on her part. Please get me out of my misery.

You’re a cuckold, Jim! Enjoy the torment you pervert! And thanks for presenting me this opportunity to tell everyone in our audience about this delightful fetish.a171827_xlf

So I suppose ya’ll know that the traditional definition of a cuckold is a married man whose wife cheats on him behind his back. However, there is such a thing as a cuckold fetishist. In fact, this is one of the most popular and fastest growing fetishes around these days. The cuckold fetishist not only knows about his wife’s dalliances, but also often enjoys the humiliation of being forced to watch. Witness poor Jim here.

In this fetish the woman is dominant and she takes on additional partners, while the male takes on (or is forced into) the submissive role. Hot, hot, hot, right? You betcha! The wife enjoys multiple partners, but the husband is made to remain sexually exclusive with her alone. This fetish can take on all kinds of permutations. Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library for a load of videos on this very topic. Look for the VOD tab in the header above. All you have to do is search for CUCKOLD. http://theater.aebn.net/dispatcher/fts?userQuery=CUCKOLDs&theaterId=42740&genreId=101&targetSearchMode=basic&isSearchCriteriaReset=true&searchType=movie&locale=en

a118951_xlfWhat makes a guy enjoy being cuckold? Sometimes this is part of a sexual fantasy, one of being humiliated. The guy may also just get off on watching his wife fuck other guys. I even know some guys who love this because they like watching another guy or other guys have sex. Others like being “forced” to service the other guy. You can see where this would be a freakin’ paradise for a bi or closeted gay guy, huh?

The wife and her other partners, on the other hand, no doubt get off on the scenario too. This is one way for a woman to enjoy multiple partners while controlling the sexual outlet of her husband. It’s kinda like forced chastity; another very popular fetish these days, don’t cha know. The cuckold fetish is also a common kink for the guy who is more absorbed with his wife’s pleasure than his own. I know, it’s hard to believe; but there are guys like that out there. Our friend, Jim, here is probably one of them.

Good Luck

Do you like this posting? Your one-time $10 donation will help support this sex positive effort. With your help we can continue to enrich, inform, and educate all who visit here. Join us and help make a difference!

The SEX WISDOM of PJ Raval — Podcast #421 — 06/16/14


Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Our Pride Month extravaganza continues, but we will be shifting gears a bit today.PJ 02

After two weeks visiting with a noted Australian author, Benjamin Law, with his unique perspective on the gay scene in Asia, we circle back home to meet an equally remarkable personality who is making waves with his groundbreaking move, Before You Know It.

This is the SEX WISDOM show and I have the distinct pleasure of welcoming the award winning filmmaker and documentarian, PJ Raval. He is here to discuss his movie, which features three senior and elder gay men. I know, what in the world was he thinking?

PJ goes out of his way to make the invisible visible by shining his spotlight on an often-ignored segment of our youth-oriented culture and the result is nothing short of stunning. Stay tuned as we find out how and why.

PJ and I discuss:

  • Kyle Henry who brought us together;
  • The role of the editor in creating filmmaking art;
  • The documentary and how it is different from fictional story telling;
  • How he came to choose the film’s subject matter;
  • Storytelling tapping into something more universal;
  • The community of independent filmmakers;
  • The difference between documentary filmmaking and journalism;
  • His editorial style;
  • The public viewing experience;
  • Before You Know It…a cautionary message;
  • Who is PJ Raval;
  • How long it took him to create his film;
  • Chasing the money.

PJ invites you to visit him on his movie’s site HERE! And be sure to like his film’s page on Facebook HERE! His movie even has its own twitter feed. You’ll find it HERE!

(Click on the movie poster below to find out more about PJ’s movie.)

before you know it

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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More of the SEX WISDOM of Benjamin Law — Podcast #420 — 06/11/14


Hey sex fans, Benjamin Law-2

Benjamin Law, the author of the critically acclaimed book, Gaysia; Adventures in the Queer East is back with us for Part 2 of his turn on this is the SEX WISDOM show. I’m so glad he has more time to spend with us again this week because he charmed the pants off me last week.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this conversation, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #419 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

And I’m sure we’ll have another opportunity to hear Benjamin read from his book.

Benjamin and I discuss:

  • Sham marriages and marriages of convenience;
  • Growing gay consciousness in China;
  • Reparative therapy through the power of Christ, Allah, or Yoga;
  • Colonialism and sexual oppression;
  • The resilience of the sexual minority communities throughout Asia;
  • Asia, the gayest continent;
  • Cultural relativism and cultural imperialism;
  • How his travels changed his life;
  • Our queer family is global
  • His next book project.

Benjamin invites you to visit him on his site HERE! And he’s also on Twitter HERE!

Click on the cover art below for more information about Gaysia; Adventures in the Queer East.

Gaysia Adventures in the Queer East

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

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