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Here Are The Best Places In The World To Take A Sex Vacation

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By Bobby Box

Weather, affordability and sight-seeing and shopping opportunities are all definitive factors when planning a vacation, but have you ever considered the level of a city’s sex-positiveness? . undefined

If you’re on the hunt for a sex-fuelled sabbatical and need some direction, you’re in luck. Adult mobile app portfolio Lazeeva has put in a ton of work and consulted an assemblage of permissable research to determine which cities around the world are the most “sex-positive,” which Lazeeva describes as “having or promoting an open, tolerant, or progressive attitude towards sex.”

To quantify how sexual a city is, Lazeeva’s team began by researching 10 critical factors in over 200 cities from around the world. These components include: gender equality, LGBT friendliness, access to contraception, swinger-friendliness, adult entertainment, porn consumption, sex toy consumption, sexual satisfaction, willingness to experiment and sexual activeness.

To quantify how sexual a city is, Lazeeva’s team began by researching 10 critical factors in over 200 cities from around the world. These components include: gender equality, LGBT friendliness, access to contraception, swinger-friendliness, adult entertainment, porn consumption, sex toy consumption, sexual satisfaction, willingness to experiment and sexual activeness.

After attributing a rank for each category, Lazeeva used in-house data and combined it with research from the UN, the World Bank, as well as various listings in each city for sex and sexual health resources available for swingers, LGBTQ groups and charities, to give a comprehensive and decidedly fair score to each city studied. They then crafted a near-encyclopedic ranking of the 100 most sex positive cities worth the stamp in your passport. We’ve narrowed it down to the top 10.

The most sex-positive city in the world is–drum roll, please…–Paris, France! Which proved to be exceptionally sexually-active and gay-friendly. The city of love also boasts quite a thriving swingers scene.

In a very close second comes Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, which received top scores in sexual activeness and willingness to experiment. However, their paltry score in gender equality brought the overall average down significantly.

London, England came third, thanks, in great part, to their thriving adult entertainment scene and praiseworthy scores in LGBT friendliness.

The first American entry is none other than Los Angeles, USA, ranking fourth overall. The porn capital recieved top scored in–you guessed it–porn consumption, as well as very imposing scores in its willingness to experiment sexaully. We should add that both Playboy HQ and the Playboy Mansion are located here and, in case you couldn’t tell, we love us some sex.

If you like to swing, you might want to book a trip to Berlin, Germany, which ranks fifth. In addition to a prosperous swingers scene, they also received soaring scores in adult entertainment. But be warned: Berlin has horrible access to contraception. So bring rubbers.

New York City comes sixth. The Big Apple was impressive across the board, but boasted exceptionally high scores in porn and remarkably low scores in gender equality, which evened themselves out.

In seventh comes Sao Paulo, Brazil, who earned the highest possible score in sex toy consumption and a commendable score in their willingness to experiment. No doubt a winning combination for the sexually dauntless.

Vegas, baby! Coming in eighth overall, sin city proved prolific in–duh–adult entertainment and–double duh–its swingers score.

Ibiza, Spain, is known to be a party place, so it makes perfect sense that they’re sexually progressive. That is, if you’re a man. Gender equality in Ibiza, however, proved upsetting.

Bookending the top 10 is one I’m willing many of us predicted would be higher on the list. This is, of course, Amsterdam in the Netherlands. Surprising, considering the city is host to the world’s only (legal) Red Light District and lax laws around drug use.

Understandably, if you didn’t want to book a nine-hour flight in the interest of sexual exploits, a number of American cities broke the top 10, most of which are located across the map, making them a fun little road trip. These sex-positive American cities include: San Francisco (11th), Miami (14th), Austin (19th), Chicago (25th), Seattle (35th), Portland (36th) and Boston (49th).

To see the full list of sex-positive cities, click here.

Complete Article HERE!

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College Students Want to Talk About Sex. They Just Don’t Know How.

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Fear of sexual assault on college campuses is twofold: Many students are afraid of being victims of assault, while others are terrified of being accused of it.

If that sounds ridiculous, consider this: Apps have popped up in recent years that allow students to sign virtual consent forms before engaging in intimate encounters. The contract on SaSie, one such app, prompts consenting parties to fill in their names and e-signatures, and add pictures of their photo IDs so as to provide “a legally binding modicum of evidence for students and adjudicators.”

Clear communication in sexual encounters is paramount and the stakes are high. Nonconsensual sex is rape. But it’s ridiculous to think that consensual sex should require a legal contract.

This is not the way for students to get clarity on healthy sex. If we are going to change a culture of normalized drunken hookups and damaging acts of sexual violence, we must get to the roots of the problem: communication and education.

Most colleges and universities require that freshmen and other new students attend orientation workshops to familiarize them with guidelines for consent, a term that is often narrowly defined to avoid confusion. Sex, our administrators and peer leaders tell us, requires verbal positive affirmation at each progressing stage of physical intimacy.

This is not a bad way to define consent, but it overlooks emotional intimacy and vulnerability entirely. When gymnasiums full of relatively inexperienced undergraduates hear an administrator explain “No means no” over a microphone, no matter how intently we pay attention or how much we agree with that statement, we are not receiving guidance on language that will help us communicate with future partners. Consent workshops can be as impersonal and utilitarian as an SAT prep book: fact-based, transactional, generalized and devoid of human emotion.

As a transfer student at Middlebury College, I sat through two such orientations and several mandatory forums about sex on campus. It was uncomfortable.

But I can see the connection between these awkward seminars and the rise of swipe-for-consent apps: Both are the outcome of a culture completely out of touch with healthy communication about sex, especially when it comes to educating young adults about it.

It’s not any school administration’s fault. There are no national guidelines for sex ed, and the curriculum for it varies greatly around the country, often from state to state. Fewer than half of the states require sexual education in public schools, and only 20 of them even require that it be medically, factually or technically accurate. Think about that.

To be clear, inaccurate sex ed isn’t to blame for all cases of sexual violence, which college-age women are three to four times more at risk of experiencing than all other women, according to a 2014 Department of Justice report.

Still, as young adults, we have no real guidance for modeling intimate behavior on anything other than the glamorized, highly choreographed sexual encounters we see on TV and in movies, music and pornography. Those media generally fail to include any language of consent at all. Nowhere are Americans exposed to the idea that talking to your partner before, during and after sex — regardless of whether you met five years or 15 minutes ago — makes sex better! Why is nobody teaching us that “great sex” happens when both partners are equally engaged in respecting and communicating their expectations?

To address this intimacy gap in our language, my peers and I started the Consent Project at Middlebury. We invite speakers to address topics like pleasure, anatomy and masculinity. On weekends we host a “Morning-After Breakfast,” where students talk about sex and relationships without judgment. Every breakfast begins with an icebreaker — a game of sex and anatomy trivia to loosen up language around taboos — and then students break into smaller groups to air out personal confusions.

The idea is to identify, through group communication and brainstorming, what defines good and healthy sex. Our goal is to develop a shared idea of consent that encompasses self-advocacy, respect and mutual fulfillment — and not to treat it like a checkbox.

In Consent Project meetings, students bring up topics that don’t necessarily come up in school-sponsored consent workshops. They talk about drinking to overcome inhibitions, only to wake up the next morning feeling unfulfilled, unsure and sometimes even regretful about their choices. Both women and men admit to feeling inadequate and a pressure to “perform.” Women more often voice frustration over not having their own sexual needs met or respected, while men express anxiety about sexual rejection. There are many elements that add to students’ confusion, but the role that drinking and recreation drug use play cannot be overstated.

It may seem like a small thing, but these conversations actually do seem to make students more comfortable. There is always a healthy amount of laughter despite the seriousness of the conversations. We get a lot of feedback from students who say they feel willing — or even excited — to start talking about sex more openly.

The miscommunication that can lead to sexual violence, on campus and off, is not unavoidable. Absent reform in the K-12 system, students can help create safe environments and learn from one another. Teachers, administrators and the media tell us only part of the story. Let’s learn to talk openly and respectfully about sex, pleasure and our boundaries, in all the ways we individually define them.

Complete Article HERE!

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Does Weed Hurt or Help Your Sexual Performance?

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Should weed and sex be combined? What effect can cannabis have on your sexual performance?

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What are two of the most titillating subjects to talk about? Sex and weed, right? Well, strap in, sweetheart, because we’re about to talk about both. In high school, a gym teacher posing as a health professional probably taught you that cannabis is bad for you and so is sex. Hopefully, by now, you have realized that the exact opposite is true. Safe sex is healthy, and as it turns out, cannabis can also play a part in your overall wellbeing. But should weed and sex be combined? What effect can cannabis have on your sexual performance? The answer is overwhelmingly positive.

Psychology 101

Pop quiz: what are the four stages of the human sexual response cycle, as described by Virginia E. Johnson and William H. Masters? Gold star if you said excitement phase, plateau phase, orgasmic phase, and resolution phase. Here’s how pot factors in.

Excitement Phase

According to Masters and Johnson’s revolutionary 1966 book Human Sexual Response, the first stage of the human sexual response cycle is the excitement phase. Also known as arousal. In this first phase, for all sexes, the genitals become engorged and more sensitive.

Consuming marijuana, a well-known aphrodisiac, before engaging in sex can increase and heighten arousal by helping blood flow, particularly in these vital areas. This is especially helpful for those struggling with erectile dysfunction. If prescription potency pills (like Viagra) aren’t for you, there are certain strains of pot that are said to be even better.

Plateau Phase

This second phase is characterized by increased sexual pleasure and stimulation. Know what else can increase pleasure? Marijuana is known to enhance sensation, especially during sex, and especially for women. One study even said that 90% of women who incorporated weed in their sex lives reported increased sexual pleasure. But don’t feel stiffed, dudes; 75% of men reported the same thing.

Orgasmic Phase

Who doesn’t love an orgasm? Ganja can help you get there. So can the products that combine it with sex, like Foria Pleasure lube and the Sexxpot strain. While it can be agreed upon that stoned orgasms are pretty great for everyone, women especially have experienced longer and more intense climaxes when smoking up before getting down.

Resolution Phase

After orgasm, the muscles in your body relax, breathing slows, and blood pressure drops. There’s also a release of oxytocin. Marijuana is also associated with oxytocin. So it stands to reason that combining sex and pot leads to increased feelings of intimacy, which can lead to a stronger relationship, which in turn, leads to better sex.

Complete Article HERE!

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Trans Writer E. Parker Phillips Finds Poetry in He/r Fluid Identity

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E. Parker Phillips conveys a message of nonviolence.

By Liz Tracy

At a Yale writing workshop in 2003, one of E. Parker Phillips’ college classmates said Phillips’ erotic poem reminded them of a Calvin Klein ad. Phillips, who identifies as genderqueer and uses “s/he” and “he/r” pronouns, doesn’t remember the poem itself, only one line from the work about a lesbian sexual awakening: “Love is where we stay in bed and go shopping for hats.” The classmate was trying to humiliate Phillips. But s/he treasures the memory.

“The connection between sex, power, and writing felt undeveloped at a place like Yale,” Phillips recalls. “It made me feel like things weren’t set up for me to have a voice.

“Well, now I fight for that voice.”

At the time, Phillips was studying for a degree in Chinese. These days, s/he’s one of the busiest people in Miami, juggling writing, teaching, performing, BDSM and fetish work, and activism. Phillips cannot be explained simply in a line from a poem or exemplified in a single memory. But though Phillips defies labels, he/r uniquely intersectional message and example has made he/r one of South Florida’s most prominent voices in the queer and literary realms.

Phillips was a queer kid raised by strict parents near the Adirondack Mountains in Glens Falls, New York, a largely white, Republican, rural town. There was a lot of pressure at home to go to a good school. Phillips found sanctuary and joy in playing sports. “I was an athlete before anything else in my life,” s/he remembers.

After graduating from college, s/he lived “on the fringes of literary cultures at Yale and in New York City.” The red state of Florida might not seem like the most welcoming place for a queer writer, but Florida International University’s creative writing program offered Phillips the chance to study with renowned poets Campbell McGrath and Denise Duhamel. There, s/he recalls, “I could learn to embrace how I write from my groin and my heart while also exploring ideas and politics. Miami, and FIU, helped me turn my position as an outsider, once a source of shame, into a place of empowerment.”

Phillips taught at FIU and Broward College while publishing poems in journals such as Voluble (a LARB channel), The Sensations Feelings Journal, Jai-Alai Magazine, and Hinchas de Poesia. Along the way, s/he developed a unique literary style to express he/r layered experiences. “I am happiest at the nexus of language, performance, and physicality,” Phillips notes. “Writing poems is a trans-like state where I am thinking about my body both physically and emotionally, processing my experience in language — consciousness tethered to a sensual world.”

From 2014-’16, the instructor found a less conventional avenue for expressing he/r identity by opening a 1,500-square-foot BDSM commercial dungeon. “Both [kink and poetry] feel like arts of consciousness,” s/he explains. “BDSM, kink, for me brings together making money and art; it is how I have made a living in the past four years.”

S/he now operates out of a private fetish studio in Hollywood, Florida — and not just to pay the bills. “I try to work outside academia so I can deepen my engagement with the world, which affects my voice in poetry. It is not always easy. I probably do too much,” Phillips admits.

In addition to hosting BDSM play parties and a meetup for kinky people titled Miami Munch, for the past six months, Phillips has cohosted the weekly Queer and Trans Yoga class at Agni Miami.

“Poems, BDSM, yoga — these are my lifelines. Sharing these practices with other people amplifies their meaning and helps me push the boundaries of the various forms,” Phillips explains. “When I try to live up to the expectations of what I perceive as the mainstream poetry world, I end up not writing.”

In joining all of these varied pursuits, s/he explains, “If I can focus on bearing witness to my feelings and my body, bearing witness to politics and injustice, I can engage poetry as a vehicle through which I traverse the known into the not-yet-known… Imagining a different, more equitable world is particularly important to me as a nonbinary, genderfluid person.”

Part of imagining that world is changing the words used to describe it. “Language is an ontological problem — a world of ‘he’ and ‘she,’ a binary world,” Phillips continues. “How can we take that apart and build something more livable?… What happens when I share my queer, feminist consciousness with a reader? A change in hearts and minds can happen there.”

The Queer and Trans Yoga class s/he cofounded is another converging of these realities for Phillips. In a hatha class, the teacher focuses on yin — “practicing being versus doing” — according to one instructor. Students hold poses for three to five minutes, and class leaders discuss topics such as self-acceptance, self-love, and coping with rejection. During the class, a reiki practitioner attends to individuals. The class also begins or ends with a poem by a queer or trans author, or a talk by a community member.

“The message we convey is one of nonviolence toward self and others. There is a lot of emphasis on the self and falling in love with the self,” Phillips says.

Those themes will carry into he/r course at this week’s TransArt, an annual event that advances equity for the Latinx and LGBT communities through education. Titled I Talk to My Body, Phillips’ workshop will “look at the topic of the self addressing the body, which we will explore within the context of a queer and trans lived experience,” s/he says. Using works by poets Lucille Clifton, Anna Swir, and Joy Ladin, Phillips hopes to teach students to “make sense of, or even celebrate, a discontinuity between self and body.”

Phillips recalls a recent moment at Queer and Trans Yoga when a practitioner spoke about being queer-bashed by a trusted yoga instructor. The reflection evoked a related yoga practice. Class members were told to lie on their backs with legs in the air, “so we could feel the disorientation the person experienced. It felt like falling backwards,” Phillips remembers. “I really wanted to get up and leave — it was challenging both emotionally and physically.”

But the meaning of the action made it bearable for Phillips. Inversion poses like that lift energy to the throat, s/he explains, renewing one’s voice.

“Learning how to work through discomfort is a hugely valuable lesson for me as a queer person, given the discomfort I face in the adult entertainment industry, in my family, and as a poet,” Phillips describes. “Doing yoga in community and turning the raw, painful stuff of lived experience into something inspiring and shared — that is another act of poem-making too.”

Complete Article HERE!

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5 problems sex can (probably) fix

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Everyone’s sex life hits a slump, but if you’re feeling blah, try out these sexy ideas.

By Kimberly M. Aquilina

Lazy please-don’t-smell-my-breath morning sex. Make up sex. Christening your new apartment sex. Sloppy, dirty-talk-fueled drunk sex.

We can make sex fit into whatever situation we’re in, but can it be a quick fix?

“Sex can be a tremendous resource for managing emotions, coping with stress, reducing heart rate, regulating breathing, grounding yourself in the present and connecting with others,” Angie Gunn, clinical social worker and sexuality expert at Talkspace, told She Knows. “Sex can also be a resource for more complex challenges like relationship conflict, boredom or feeling distress in your life.”

OK, so the tango-for-two can’t fix all. Remember the rumors that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck were thinking of having a fourth child to save their marriage? That’s an example of something sex can’t fix.

But below are some things it can fix (and if it doesn’t work, at least you’ll have fun trying!)

You and your lady have been bickering.

If you or your partner are feeling nitpicky and are squabbling a lot, try an amped up — and a little kinky — activity to release the stress.

“This can include mutual spanking, hard and enthusiastic penetration and even a bit of BDSM if that’s something you both agree to try,” Coleen Singer, sexpert at Sssh.com, an erotic entertainment website for women, told She Knows.

“The sheer physicality of rough sex can shed some built-up emotional tension between you. Just be careful not to go overboard with this technique and establish a safe word so you can put on the breaks if anything becomes uncomfortable or painful.”

Even in the most intense BDSM play, consent and respect are key. And don’t forget the aftercare! After a rigorous romp, be sure to shower each other with gentle affection and bask in the afterglow together.

 

One (or both) of you have P.M.S.

Studies have shown that the “feel-good hormones” like oxytocin released during sex can help alleviate pain.

“Period cramps put your body under a lot of stress, leading to more pain and mood swings,” Singer told She Knows. “When we orgasm, the body releases oxytocin and dopamine along with other endorphins that can ease any PMS and period-related pains. Those hormones are far stronger than any over-the-counter painkillers.”

Your sex life has lost some of that “oomph.”

No matter how much you love each other, sex can become routine, boring and less of a priority. Bring back that spark with some role playing.

Get dressed up like you would when you were single, go to a bar (or coffee shop) and pretend you are complete strangers. Introduce yourselves, flirt and buy a round of drinks.

Bring sexy to the max and spring for a hotel room to invoke the feel of a forbidden one-night stand.

 

Stress has turned your vagina into a desert.

Stress can zap libido, but it can also give you a jolt better than a 2 p.m. protein bar or coffee break.

If you know you’re going to have a busy week, start your day with a quickie to alleviate anxiety. Your coworkers will be in awe at how cool and collected you stay while facing deadlines.

You’re just in a funk.

If you just feel blah and need some excitement in your life, make a sex life bucket list. Having sex outdoors, roleplaying or trying a new position can give you that extra pep in your step. The orgasms help, but just having something to look forward to can pull you out of your slump.

 

Complete Article HERE!

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