Search Results: First Time

You are browsing the search results for first time

And they’re off…

Name: Dan and Rebecca
Gender: Couple
Age: 25, 20
Location:
We are a happy but frustrated couple looking for advice. I’m a 25
year old male, and my lovely girlfriend is 20.

I have no problem bringing her to orgasm and pleasing her, but since we’ve been seeing each other I have not been able to cum once. In the past it was always difficult for me to cum during sex, my first time (age 18) my then gf and I went for about three hours before we just gave up. Usually I would have to jerk myself off afterwards but now I can’t even do that.

However if I am alone with porn I am easily able to masturbate and can get off a few times a day. How is it that I can jerk off to pictures that mean nothing to me, but can’t cum for the woman I love the most?

I’ve spoken with a doctor and he said medically there is nothing wrong with my penis. What do you suggest we do? We are really getting frustrated and just want to be able to please each other.

Simply put, there’s a difference between the psycho-sexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Your doctor is right, there’s probably nothing wrong with your unit. It’s all in your head…or your mind, to be more exact. And I’m not being flippant.

If I had to guess, I’d say you have a real bad case of performance anxiety, pup. Here’s how this nasty thing works. Say I have a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before I know it, I’m replaying the incident over and over in my mind’s eye till that’s all I can think about. The proverbial molehill has become a mountain, don’t ‘cha know. I then bring my anxiety to my next encounter. My hyper self-consciousness primes me for more disappointment. And I’m all prepared to interpret the disappointment as a failure. Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? My fears become self-fulfilling and I find I’m beginning to avoid partnered sex and my relationship flounders, I develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction and my self-esteem takes a nosedive. My preoccupation with my problem makes it less likely that I’ll be fully present during sex with my partner, which pretty much scuttles my sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity.

It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on your sexual arousal and short-circuiting your sexual response cycle, Dan. Get thee to a sex-positive therapist ASAP, darling! Believe me, this is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at your tender age.

When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psycho-sexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Name: Gene
Gender:  Male
Age: 45
Location: Orlando
I am a homosexual, and I have a “friend” who has been incarcerated for five years. The relationship while he was out with me was excellent. I have asked him numerous of times is he having sex with the homo’s in jail and he responds by saying no. I think otherwise, and he wants to come back to me upon his release. My question is “should I wait for him”?

Gene, Gene, Gene, there are so many things wrong with this picture, I hardly know where to start. Your man’s in the big house for 5 years, and you expect him to keep it in his pants for the duration…just for you? Like WHY? Hey, he’s in the clink, darling, not in a monastery. Oh wait; even monks in a monastery don’t keep it in their habit nowadays! At any rate, it may not be up to him if he has sex or not…if you catch my drift. He might be someone’s bitch right now, he’s just not telling you about it.

Should you wait for him? You mean, all alone by yourself with no one to comfort you while your guy is doin’ his time? This sounds like the script for a real bad 1950’s prison movie. You could play the role of the long-suffering girlfriend pining away while her good-for-nothing man pays his debt to society.

Honey, you need to get out more.

Good luck

Name: Erin
Gender: female
Age: 32
Location: AL
Is it wrong for a married woman to want to masturbate when alone?

Gee, let me see. Is it wrong for a woman to feed herself when she is alone?

Erin, what could possibly be wrong with wanting to pleasure yourself when you are alone? As we all know, many women only get off through masturbation. Hell nowadays, liberated women folk everywhere are comfortable enough with their sexuality to jill-off even with their partner. So no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with self-pleasuring…alone or with a partner.

Besides, there’s no better way to get to know your body and your sexual response cycle. Once you acquainted yourself with how your body works, you’ll have a whole lot more information about how you tic that you’ll be able to share with your partner when the time comes. It’s a win/win situation for ya’ll.

Name: Joy
Gender:  female
Age: 21
Location: California
I have been dating this guy for almost 3 year and also live with him. I love the way he makes love to me and i love dick, but sometimes i just want to make out with girls… does this make me a lesbian at all?

Hardly, not even a little bit lesbian! Ya see, it takes more than suckin’ face with another chick to make a gal a lesbiterian. You’re gonna need to get yourself a she-mullet, some plaid shirts and a vibrator that you can kick-start. Now that’ll make ya dyke for damn sure. Sheesh!

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

More of The Erotic Mind of Mathew Klickstein — Podcast #334 — 05/28/12


Hey sex fans, welcome back!

The bad boy of erotica, the extraordinarily talented, Mathew Klickstein, is back for Part 2 of our conversation for this The Erotic Mind series. Mathew has a knack for riling up folks, don’t cha know. I love that about him. There’s nothing namby pamby about this author; he speaks his mind not just eruditely, but with passion and conviction.

And since last week’s reading from his novel, Rag Doll, caused such a stir, I will insist that Mathew read again this week. You can be sure that it will leave you at least a little bit unsettled.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this controversial conversation, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site.. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #333 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Mathew and I discuss:

  • The reviews his new book, Rag Doll, is getting;
  • Why he hit upon horrotica his first time out as an erotica writer;
  • Erotica as fantasy;
  • Channeling his frustrations into his writing;
  • Marketing Rag Doll directly to that horror audience;
  • The cathartic value of gory horror;
  • 3rd wave feminism.

For more about Mathew, his new book and his amazing career, visit HERE.

(Click on the book art below to get more information about Rag Doll.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Learning to ride

Hey sex fans!

We’re all back from Spring Break. Did you miss us? We sure missed you. So ok, let’s get this ball rolling again with a timely question from one of my correspondents.

Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Boise
I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain, why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the fore-play type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?

First thing, don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you will surely be misled. Second, that grimace that you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated, may be a grimace of pleasure not pain. I think you are projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. The other day I was walking in the park with Ginger the dog. Actually, I was trying to walk like a normal person, but she was pulling me along like a maniac. We were both, in our own way, enjoying some beautiful spring weather and the sights, sounds and smells nature in its glory. As we walked along we encountered a father and son who were seriously involved in what appeared to be the kid’s first lesson in riding a bicycle…without training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He would start out ok, but just as soon as his dad let go of the back of his seat the boy would wobble and eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee and the boy’s fear and anxiety was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was quite a scene.

The kid was convinced that he didn’t have what it took to ride on his own. His defeatism fueled itself and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up. Sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his side, and refused his father’s pleading that he try again. In the kid’s mind the bike was the enemy another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly — balance. I wish I had had an opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad, that they might try another ploy. I wanted to say, set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first. This would surely increase the boy’s confidence and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee. And it would be fun.

I would have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on 4” curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual expression that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance within himself; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within yourself.

Most all of the discomfort in butt fucking is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted in your ass. When this muscle resists to the point of spasm things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • First, before you start playing with your hole — relax. Just like the kid in the park would have needed to calm himself before attempting to balance on the curb. The same is true for you.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open wide find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
  • If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Find your prostate. It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to bust your nut. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot.
  • As you jizz you will also notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you are comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you, no pun intended, the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort you’ll know what to do — deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. We don’t want any unsightly and embarrassing mishaps to mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. And you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and lots of lube near to hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just like in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some swell finger-fucking first.
  • Once you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop; he will stop. Trust is very important in butt fucking.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are ridding your bike all by yourself. And you will be very happy.

Good luck

Get your wood the natural way!

Hey there sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and I have the pleasure of welcoming yet another new company, LibidoStack, to our review effort.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick, Carlos and I bring you the results of our experimentation.

LibidoStack —— $49.95 (10 capsules, one month supply)

Dr Dick: For review purposes, the manufacturer of LibidoStack sent me a package containing ten capsules in a tamperproof bubble-pack. The claim is that their all-natural herbal product is supposed to improve one’s sexual health and performance. This is equivalent to 10 doses — one capsule per dose. (My contact at LibidoStack tells me that a 10-pack is a month’s supply; a capsule every three days.)

Being the generous kinda guy that I am, I shared my LibidoStack stash with two of my fellow Dr Dick Review Crew members — Carlos and Mick. I gave my colleagues the lion share of the product. They both got four capsules equaling 4 doses. I used the remaining two myself. We will each take our turn reporting our findings. I’ll go first.

So what is LibidoStack exactly? The manufacturer says it’s a “…proprietary all natural male enhancement blend was researched and developed by our team of highly-acclaimed biochemists, and research analysts.” They claim their product will produce “…increased sexual pleasure, harder and longer lasting erections, and increased sex desire.”

The LibidoStack website list the ingredients, which they claim “consists of herbs, minerals, and amino acids.” They list the ingredients HERE! http://libidostack.com/index.php/how-it-works.html

I took the time to look up each and every ingredient listed. I found that the health benefits associated with these herbal extracts include — an increase in energy and virility; as well as antioxidant, anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties. So if nothing else, I figured my LibidoStack experience would not harm me in any way.

My experience — I used LibidoStack on two different occasions and followed the directions on the package each time — Take one capsule with warm water 60 minutes after a meal.

Before I continue, I must confess that I always approach products like this with a healthy dose of skepticism. And I’m always on the lookout for the placebo effect — the suggestion of an effect creates the effect. But I did have two opportunities to test this product over a span of 10 days so I would have had to be very suggestible for the placebo effect to play much of a role on both occasions. And I can tell you; I’m not that suggestible.

I am familiar with the effects of Viagra and its companion drugs, Levitra and Cialis. So I do have a frame of reference when it comes to judging the effects of herbal products, like LibidoStack. I can honesty say I was pleased with this product’s performance. It works by building up in your system as opposed to producing its effect immediately.

LibidoStack had a more gradual effect than the pharmaceuticals I’ve used, but that’s not a bad thing. What amazed me is that LibidoStack is as effective as any the medically prescribed drugs I’ve tested, but it is much kinder to my system. There were no headaches, unsightly flushes, upset stomach, rise in blood pressure or altered vision. This made me very happy indeed.

In doing reviews like this there is the danger of generalizing from one person’s experience. I want to avoid this by stating every human body is unique. Each of us metabolizes what we consume in a slightly different way. Keep this in mind if you try LibidoStack. The degree of erection, as well as the time it takes to get hard on this product (or any such product, including the pharmaceuticals) will depend on one’s age, overall health and the amount of sexual stimulation one is receiving.

Oh, and this is not an aphrodisiac, people! Wood is not gonna miraculously happen on it’s own.

I also want to be clear on another point — LibidoStack is not miracle potion. It will not override an unhealthy lifestyle. But it can positively effect one’s sexual response cycle; making arousal easier, which will make one a more confident lover.

I have a couple more thoughts that I will share at the end of this review. But now I want to bring in Carlos and Mick so that they can share their findings.

Mick: “I’m sold on LibidoStack. I’ve been having erections issues since my prostate cancer diagnosis. My doc believes the problem is all in my head. He can’t find any physical reason why the plumbing doesn’t work like it should, although I do have high blood pressure. So I can’t take Viagra because of that.
LibidoStackworked fine the first time, but better the fourth time I tried it. LibidoStack doesn’t come on like a freight train; it’s way more subtle than that. Like Dr Dick said, it really boosted my confidence. And if that’s all I needed, I’m a happy guy.”
Carlos: “I’m impressed too. LibidoStack exceeded my expectations.
I’ve tried several other herbal products in my time, because Viagra is so fuckin’ expensive. But none of the other products matched LibidoStack’s performance.
I do need to say, however, that I didn’t experience the effects of LibidoStack as quickly as did Mick. Of course, I’m a much bigger guy. I also took my first two doses an hour after a full meal, just as the package suggests. I took the other two doses on an empty stomach and it worked better.”
Mick: “I discovered that too. If I take LibidoStack on an empty stomach, the effect is more immediate.
Here’s another thing I noticed. After the second dose I started having nighttime boners, a lot of them. I would wake up from a sound sleep with a raging hardon. It was like it was in my 20’s.”
Carlos: “I had that happen to me too. At first I said, ‘whoa nelly!’ My wife was surprised as hell too. I hadn’t been feeling very randy for the last six months.”
Mick: “Yeah, my partner Chuck, noticed a difference right away too. I’m gonna guess that this stuff builds up in your system and maybe a maintenance dose is all ya ever need.
I was kidding with Chuck about those warnings you see on TV, the ones that say; ‘Warning: If you experience an erection for more than 4 hours, please seek medical assistance immediately.’ I told Chuck that if I had a boner that lasted 4 hours I wouldn’t call a doctor; I’d call a hustler!”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

SEX WISDOM With Kristen Knapick — Podcast #309 — 11/16/11


Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

I think you’ll agree; we have been on quite a roll with the SEX WISDOM series. Over the last couple months I’ve been able to bring you a wide variety of intelligent and thought provoking interviews with some of the most interesting movers and shakers in the field of human sexuality; people who are making news and helping us take a fresh look at our sexual selves. Today I’m happy to add to that illustrious lineup and I don’t even have leave the Emerald City to do so. I am proud to welcome to my show fellow therapist, Kristen Knapick.

Curiously enough, despite living in the same town, being in the same line of work and having numerous friends and colleagues in common; Kristen and I met for the first time just recently. That’s not to say that I didn’t know of her; I certainly did. I heard tell of her remarkably innovative style and the uniquely sensitive outreach she brings to her private practice. So, when we finally met, it was like meeting an old friend. I think you’ll be as impressed as I when you meet her in a few moments.

Kristen and I discuss:

  • Her special outreach to sexual minorities;
  • The woeful lack of training most healing and helping professionals have around non-traditional sexuality;
  • Words of wisdom for kinksters looking for a healing or helping professional;
  • Words of wisdom for healing and helping professionals working with sexual minorities;
  • Being part of the communities she serves;
  • Support systems for partners of trans folks;
  • The variety of sexualities, genders and relationships models out there.

Kristen suggests you to visit her on their site HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player