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Book Signing News

We have this “thing” here in the Emerald City called Art Walk.  Actually a number of our neighborhoods have an Art Walk, but the granddaddy of ’em all is the Pioneer Square Art Walk.  It happens the first Thursday of every month rain or shine.  (And you can pretty much guess what happens most.)  All the hoity-toity fine art galleries in the area throw open their doors to us, the hoi polloi, and invite us in to sniff around the art, like if we knew what we were doing.  You know what they say; you can lead a horticulture, but ya can’t make us think. (Pardon me stepping all over your lovely quote, Ms Parker!)

Anywho, this coming Thursday, 11/07/13, on Art Walk evening, one of the most prestigious galleries in the whole freakin’ city, The James Harris Gallery, is gonna host me for a book signing.  Me, with all that art!  Holy cow; can ya stand it?

My friend, James Harris, so liked my book, Longfellow And The Deep Hidden Woods, that he offered to share my most recent children’s story with his patrons.  I hope all my friends, in and around Seattle, will mozie on down and check it out.  Say hello, and buy a book and don’t be surprised if you come away from it all covered in stinkin’ culture.

 

james harris 1longfellow square smalljames harris

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Name: Curt
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: Spokane
Ok, so I’m always self-conscious when I see a big cock. I wish I had a bigger one. I’m a virgin and don’t get girls or guys because I think they will judge me. See I have a 6″ cock and I think that’s small for my age. Should I get a pump or something? I don’t know what to do.

I know what you should do! And it’s not going out and getting yourself a pump either. Here’s what you do. Instead of obsessing about the size of your unit, invest your time, energy and any cash you might be hording away to waste on a penis enlargement scheme in something that will make you a more interesting person. Because that, my friend, is what’s gonna get you laid.big-cock20

Here’s the lowdown — throughout history, men have obsessed about the size of their cocks. And when there’s magnitude of attention paid to something so trivial, you can be sure there’s gonna be an entire industry poised to bilk the shit out of the willie worrisome, like you Curt. Hey, where do you suppose the term “snake oil” originated? Sheesh!

All of this unfortunate big-dick envy creates a never-ending parade of con artists tryin’ to sell a remedy, of one sort or another, to cure guys, just like you, of their “shame.” But, take it from Dr. Dick, the dick doctor; it’s all bullshit. And some of the bullshit is really scary and dangerous bullshit.

For every little peanut out there, (and if you are reporting your size accurately, you’re on the higher end of average) there is some kooky diet, ridiculous cream, bogus massage technique or worthless breathing exercise that is supposed to transform one’s mini-meat into the giant economy size. And let’s not forget the weights you can hang on your thang. Vacuum devices to pump up your thang. And of course the twenty-first century solution — cosmetic surgery — to put a happy face on your thang. The results are dubious if there are any results at all. And each has negative side effects, some of which are more revolting and/or dangerous than others.

Here’s the last word on this — don’t waste your money on any of this crap. Or better yet, send me the money, and I’ll put it to good use. Here’s the very best advice I can offer a guy who is unhappy with the size of his schlong…learn to love what ya got. Learn to use what ya got. And leave what ya got the hell alone.

Good luck

Name: JC
Gender: Male
Age: 40 something
Location: Seattle
Richard,
Here’s my question. You probably have already answered this a couple of times, but here goes anyway. How important is sex in a relationship between gay men? Do you think it’s ok to stay with someone even thought the sex is not good, or if it’s only good for one of the partners?

You’re right, I hear this question all the time, not just from gay men, but from all sorts of people.

sexless-relationshipsThe short answer to your query is; yes, lots of gay men (and folks of any other stripe too) stay together in healthy, loving, long-term relationships, even though the relationship (or marriage) is sexless. Most people in these relationships choose domestic tranquility over sexual tension. And sometimes the partners in these types of relationships give one another permission to pursue the sexual gratification they need and want outside the primary relationship.

That being said, there is certainly a large percentage of gay men (folks of any other stripe too) who could not, nor would they want to stay in a sexless, or one-sided relationship. And so the alternative, or satellite relationship, arrangement would not appeal to them.

To your final point about staying in a relationship when the sex is good for only one of the partners, well that’s a more troublesome. This suggests to me that the dissatisfied partner is frustrated and disappointed and that’s never a good foundation on which to build a relationship. My experience has been that when someone is living in one of these one-sided relationships the frustration will inevitably build to a point when all hell breaks loose. The ensuing explosion, more often than not, destroys the relationship.

I’ve worked with several such couples in the past. Some develop strategies for fixing the sexual problems that have come between them. These couples choose to work on building mutual sexual satisfaction into the relationship. And that can happen lots of different ways. Others couples decide that mutuality can never be achieved and so they choose to amicably end the relationship and move on.

Which kind of person are you? What kind of relationship do you have? I can scarcely say, given the limited information you share with me. I see you write from Seattle. If you want to talk about this sometime, make an appointment for a consultation. I’m sure I can make room for you. And anyone else in a similar predicament, regardless of where you live, my services are available to you too through Skype or by phone. Check out the Therapy Available tab in the header. It’s under the About Dr Dick tab.

Good luck

More of The Erotic Mind of Matthew Stillman — Podcast #396 — 10/28/13

Hey sex fans, welcome back.matthew stillman03

The incomparable Matthew Stillman is back with us today for Part 2 of his appearance on this The Erotic Mind show. As you probably recall from last week, Matthew is the author of Genesis Deflowered, in which he reworked the first book of the bible by adding all the missing sex scenes and he did so while keeping his addition faithful to the literary style of the King James Version.

This week I hope to prevail upon Matthew to read from his work. Of course, we’re all goin’ to hell for even contemplatin’ this blasphemy. But what the heck, we already know we’re headed in that direction anyway, huh?

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #395 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Matthew and I discuss:

  • Being called out as a blasphemer;
  • Getting reacquainted with the story of Cain and Abel;
  • The expression of desire;
  • Horrific violence and tender love;
  • God sets up boundaries;
  • The appearance of other humans besides Adam, Eve and their boys;
  • The first biblical 3-way;
  • Biblical euphemisms for different kinds of sex and orgasm;
  • The upcoming Exodus Deflowered;
  • The discontent of the literalists and fundamentalists;
  • Biblical sexual mythology and controlling human sexual appetites;
  • The Alphabet vs The Goddess;
  • Women and men both lose, but women lose the most.

Look for Matthew’s Twitter feed HERE!

(Click on the cover art below to buy Matthew’s amazing book.)

Genesis Deflowered Cover MEDIUM

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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The Erotic Mind of Matthew Stillman — Podcast #395 — 10/21/13


Hey sex fans, welcome back.

I have a truly remarkable show in store for you today. In fact, it’s so unique I don’t even know how to categorize it. I suppose it’s best placed in The Erotic Mind series, but I’m pretty certain we will discover elements of the SEX WISDOM series and even the Sex EDGE-U-cation series too.

But wait, I know what you’re thinking. Hey, Dr Dick, who is this guest of yours, the one who defies categorization? Well, I’ll tell ya; I am delighted to welcome to the show, the incomparable Matthew Stillman.

Matthew is the author of Genesis Defloweredmatthew stillman02. And if you haven’t heard of this book; well, that suggests to me you haven’t been paying attention to the goings on in the popular culture. And that’s because Genesis Deflowered is all the rage these days. Matthew reworked the first book of the bible by adding all the missing sex scenes and he did so while keeping his additions faithful to the literary style of the King James Version. No mean feat that, sex fans, I can assure you.

Matthew and I discuss:
His path to finding the intersection between sex and religion;
The fundamental disconnect between monotheism and sexuality;
The motivation; is it malice or fear;
Being at odds with nature;
The proto-sexual sin — sex = death;
Genesis Deflowered written in the style of the King James Bible;
Tampering with something that ought never be tampered with;
Sexy in a naughty librarian sort of way;
The Book of Jasher and The Book of Genesis;
The story of (beautiful) Joseph and his coat of many colors;
The randy women of Genesis;
Over 500 suggested sexual acts in Genesis alone.

Matthew invites you to follow him on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the cover art below to buy Matthew’s amazing book.)

 Genesis Deflowered Cover MEDIUM

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: SPUNK Lube Pink.

DrDicksSexToyAdvice-500x200-Spunk-lube-pink

Oh The Humanity

Name: Ron
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Florida
So to start I am completely straight. So I don’t understand why about two years ago I attempted to give myself fellatio. And after I came out of my horny rage I realized what happened and have felt totally disgusted and mad at myself since then. And now every time I masturbate I relive that horrible day in my head. As I said I’m straight and secure in that fact but is it normal. Do other straight men attempt this?

Here’s a little something I’ve learned over the years, sex fans. Anytime someone starts off his message to me with the words “…I’m completely straight” I can absolutely guarantee that he’s not absolutely straight!Im-Not-Gay-Poster

I don’t care what follows the dreaded words, “I’m completely straight” because, regardless of what the person says next; I already know that my correspondent is scared shitless that deep down inside he’s a big fat flamin’ gay homosexual, don’t cha know. And that goes double for you, Ron.

Here’s a tip ya’ll: no completely straight guy would ever let the first thing out of his mouth be “I’m completely straight.” No completely straight guy would ever feel the need to say that, because he would be totally confident that everyone already knew that.

So Ron, just listen to yourself, why don’t ‘cha already. A man who is comfortable in his own skin, regardless of his sexual preferences, is not gonna freak out in disgust and anger when he explores the amazing capacities of his own body, even if that involves tryin’ to blow himself.

However, a dude who has something to hide, a fella who has a little secret, a stud who is afraid of what might be lurking inside; now that guy is gonna freak out…just like you did, Ron. And not only did you start out your question with that ill advised comment, you went out of your way to tell me again how “straight and secure” you are at the end of your message. And now you can’t even pull your pud without being horrified by this one insignificant incident. I can smell your internalized homophobia from here, darling.

Had you spared me the editorial comment about “being completely straight” and just started out by saying that you tried to blow yourself one day and then got confused to its possible meaning, if it had any meaning at all. Then I would have been able to tell you that men of every possible sexual predilection at one time or another either try or fantasize about giving themselves a hummer. It’s the fuckin’ Holy Grail of self-pleasuring, honey.

So you can relax, girlfriend, your secret is safe with me. It’s too bad about the jerkin’ off thing, though. Imagine never being able to grab your piece in peace. Imagine being reminded of your horrible little secret every time you want to hand yourself a little, much needed relief. Can’t honestly say I’d want to live like that. But if you do…

Good luck

Name: Steve
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Philly
This has been a question on my mind for quite some time. I’ve searched all over the internet, but can’t find an answer. A friend of mine directed me to your website, and spoke very highly of you.
So here’s my question: If you drank someone’s urine after they’ve used narcotics (cocaine, marijuana, etc.) would these substances then show up in your own urine analysis drug test?
Recently I met someone and we both played with watersports. And of course, we began to drink it. Afterward he mentioned that he like to ‘dabble with pot’ now and then. He didn’t seem high at the time; of course we had been drinking a lot of beer.
I get tested for narcotics at my place of work. These tests are random tests given by the government. Failing a drug test could lead to losing my job, and now I’m so paranoid about this.
I hope to hear back from you, with any advice you may have. I have a feeling I’ll be taking more caution with this in the future.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this email.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about watersports in the past. If you check out the CATEGORIES pull-down menu in the sidebar, you’ll find all the postings and/or podcasts there. You’ll find watersports under the KINK category.

The short answer to your question is: “Prospective pee drinkers should be aware that there are numerous drugs, both pharmaceutical and recreational, that pass through the body either only partly metabolized or entirely un-metabolized; like those nasty amphetamines and their derivatives. Cocaine also falls under the rubric. So it’s all together possible to get really high from drinking a druggie’s piss.”

Just remember, my friend, you are what you consume…at the dinner table or the urinal.

If you are worried about random drug tests, I suggest that you don’t drink the pee you’re playin’ with. Enjoy the watersports till your heart’s content, just don’t swallow.

Good luck