Search Results: Feet

You are browsing the search results for feet

Maybe a little on the side…

Name: Keith
Gender: Male
Age: 65
Location: Montreal
I’ve been in a 32-year marriage with a man. We’ve adopted children together. Lately he’s become impotent. He won’t take any of the meds for erectile dysfunction. I’m still a very, very horny man and wanting sex. I wonder what your advice would be for us. Communication has always been a big part of our relationship, so telling me to discuss this with him won’t be helpful. I’ve done that already. I am considering looking for a sex partner other than my husband, but I don’t want to jeopardize my marriage. And let me know what you think.

OK, here’s what I think. I think a lot of gay men (and straight folks too) stay together in healthy, loving, long-term relationships, even though the relationship (or marriage) is sexless. Most people in these relationships choose domestic tranquility over sexual tension. That sounds like you and your husband, right? And sometimes the partners in these types of relationships give one another permission to pursue the sexual gratification they need and want outside the primary relationship.

feet on buttThat being said, there is certainly a large percentage of gay men (straight folks too) who could not, nor would they want to not stay in a sexless, or one-sided relationship. And so this alternative satellite relationship arrangement would not appeal to them. But this doesn’t sound like you.

The secret here then is to get the permission you need to find what you are looking for before you start the search. I can tell you from my many years of experience that nothing will undermine even a strong, healthy relationship faster than one of the partners launching out on his own looking for satisfaction without asking his partner’s permission to fly solo.

And if you think “flying solo” is only about sex, you are mistaken. Imagine if one person in a relationship unilaterally decided to make a big purchase with communal funds; a purchase so large that it would jeopardize the family’s financial stability. This kind of “flying solo” could easily crash a relationship.

You say that you and your old man are competent in the communication department. Excellent! Because you’re gonna need all those communication skills to broach the subject of sexual independence.

Of course, not to do anything, or settle for the status quo is not an option either. Living without a healthy sexual outlet, even if it can’t be with one’s primary partner will only lead to aggravation and disappointment and that will destabilize even the best of relationships. My experience tells me that the sexually vital partner living in a sexless marriage, like you Keith, will inevitably build up so much frustration that he won’t be able to control it. There will inevitably be an explosion, one that could easily destroy your relationship.open relationship

I’ve worked with dozens of couples, like you and your partner. Some develop strategies for fixing the sexual problems that have come between them. These couples choose to work on rebuilding mutual sexual satisfaction into the relationship. And that can happen lots of different ways. Others couples decide that mutuality can never be achieved and thus they choose to amicably end the relationship and move on. But there is always that third way where one partner concedes that he is unable to fulfill his marital duties and thus grants his partner the freedom (within bounds) to follow his dick.

One can only hope that your partner will welcome this discussion. If he refuses to join you in that conversation, he is in the wrong. I can understand not knowing exactly what to say about things that are goin’ south, or even not knowing how best to say what may be on your mind, but to clam up all together, that would be unjust.

handOnce a couple has identified the problem the next step is learning how to talk about it in an effective yet non-threatening way. This can be tricky, to say the least. But it is still so much easier than trying to avoid the issue all together.

Whatever you do, don’t settle for the path of least resistance. Your leadership might be just the thing your husband is looking for to muster his own strength to face the facts. Either way, the problem you are facing will not go away simply by ignoring it. Disappointments will become resentments and resentments will inevitably lead to acting-out and that will surly fuck things up royally.

Good luck

How things work down there

Name: Samantha
Gender: female
Age: 17
Location: Kansas City, KS
I’m with this boy and his penis is too big. Like it literally hits the end of my vagina and there’s still an inch or two hanging out. I’m not sure why, but when he want to go all the way in it hurts. It hurts like virgin hurts. It’s not fun at all. But when he doesn’t go all the way in and keeps those couple of inches out, it’s the best sex of my life. But then he always ruins it by shoving the whole thing in, if you know what I mean. I’m just wondering if you have any advice on how he could control himself, or help me tolerate his thrusting. I’m just wondering if there is any help for this.
PS: I love your podcasts!

Aww shucks! Thanks for your kind words about the podcasts, darlin’. I really appreciate it.

As to the issue you raise about your horse-hung BF, I have a whole lot to say, don’t cha know. I have suggestions for him, suggestions for you, and suggestions for the both of you. You’ll also find one of my Sexual Enrichment Tutorials: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All, very helpful.

feet

First, here are my suggestions for your BF. I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and guess that he is a young thing like you, and he has yet to learn how to handle that big pipe of his. So many guys, regardless of their cock size, think that they are givin’ their woman some mighty fine pleasure by slammin’ into them like a wild stallion. These guys probably picked up this unfortunate information through watching porn. And if there is one thing that we all can say for sure it is, if a guy gets his sex education from porn, he’s gonna be poorly equipped for when he encounters a real woman who’s gonna let him jump her bones.Woman_On_Top

In your BF’s defense, he’s only doin what comes naturally. Here’s the thing; as he gets closer to cuming he will increase his thrusts and try to smash deeper inside you. Nature programmed us men folk to do this to insure the spunk we’re about to spew will land as close to the female’s cervix as possible. After all nature’s only concern is insuring successful impregnation of female, not insuring her pleasure. Bummer that, huh?

I guess you realize, as I do, that this brutish natural tendency needs to be tamed if there’s gonna be any pleasure in it for you. And guess what? There’s no one better situated to subdue the beast in your BF than you. Probably neither you, or you BF knows all that much about your internal anatomy. Am I right? Thought so. That’s why I think you both might benefit from a remedial anatomy lesson. Did you know a vulva is made up of the same tissue as a penis and scrotum? In other words a cock and balls are simply a pussy on a stick. And pussies come in a variety of sizes shapes, just like cocks & balls.

Ok, so we’re clear on that point, right? Excellent. Now the variation in size and shape of the external components of female genitalia, the vulva, vaginal lips, clit, etc., are only a preview of the amazing capacities of the internal components, the vagina itself. A vagina is best understood as a potential space. It’s very expandable. It has to be, since whole babies come pushin’ through that space from time to time. I’m just gonna hope that you both are clear on that concept.

Again if you follow where I’m going with this you’ll realize that just about any adult female vagina is able to accommodate even the really big boys. However, being able to accommodate and wanting to be impaled by a giant johnson are two very different things.

This brings me to my suggestions for you, Sam. I wholeheartedly recommend that one day real soon you have a nice long talk with the BF about you and your parts. But you have to familiarize yourself with them first. It’s beyond me why the men folk don’t ask to be introduced to a new cunt before they start pokin’ at it. Like I said earlier, everyone’s is different. I mean, most guys will take some time to figure out what all the buttons, gizmos, gadgets, and levers do when he gets behind the wheel of a new car, right? Why they don’t to that with an unfamiliar pussy is beyond me. But I digress.

Take your BF by the hand, literally and show him around. It’ll be your job to point out all the really exciting points of interest in your neither regions…and there are plenty of ‘em, don’t cha know. I’d be willing to guess that you both will be sorely amazed. Most guys think their dick is talented. But let me tell you, it pales in comparison to a cooch.

Let me introduce you both to a little exercise called: THE AT HOME SEXOLOGICAL EXAMINATION. I use this exercise frequently in my private practice.

Disposable-Vaginal-SpeculumThis exercise is designed to facilitate communication with your partner about what each of you likes and dislikes about genital stimulation. You will need a good anatomically correct diagram of both the female and male genitalia — internal as well as external.   You will also need a speculum, hand mirror, and a flashlight. I suppose you know what a speculum is, right? It’s a medical device designed for investigating body cavities. You can get an inexpensive plastic disposable vaginal speculum online for around seven bucks.  Believe me it’s well worth the price. You probably could get one from your doctor or your local Planned Parenthood clinic too. All ya gotta do is ask.

How to proceed:

  1. Look online for a really good diagram of both the female and male genitalia. Make sure the diagrams you choose label all the parts, inside and out. Print these out if necessary. You’re gonna want to have the diagrams close to hand for this exercise.sex exam
  2. Take turns examining and being examined. It’s gonna be just like playing doctor. First, look for and then touch to all the parts of your external genitalia — he touches you and you touch him. This is touching for information as opposed to touching for pleasure, but it’ll be pleasurable nonetheless.
  3. Give each other plenty of specific feedback about what you are discovering. Be honest. Try different strokes on all of the parts. Use some agreed upon system for designating pleasure, like a scale of 1-5. 1 = discomfort, 3 = neutral, and 5 = hot, hot, hot. You could use colors just as well as numbers; it’s up to you.
  4. Once you have the parts down, so to speak, allow the person being examined (person A) to guide the hand of the examiner (person B). The examiner (B) allows the one who is being examined (person A) to be in charge for a few minutes. Person A guides person B’s hand in the areas, strokes, rhythms, pressures she or he prefers.
  5. Person B then takes over without guidance from person A. Person B spends some time giving the strokes he or she enjoys giving. Person A provides specific feedback — “I like that! I don’t much like that!” Use your fingers, hands, and mouth.
  6. Once you are familiar with one another’s external genitalia, you’ll want to use the speculum to take a peek inside your vagina. You, Sam will need a hand mirror and the BF will need the flashlight.
  7. With the speculum in place and open, see if you can find your cervix. It should be pretty obvious. I believe it is your cervix that your BF is bumping into with his deep manly thrusts. And that, as you well know, is pretty damn painful. Once he has an appreciation of how things are situated inside you, he will have a much better appreciation for how to pleasure you, without hurting you. And you will know what to do to help him get off without hurting you.
  8. If you feel like having sex when you’ve finished your exam, I encourage you to wait at least a couple of hours before you do. This way you can better focus on the educational aspects of this exercise as opposed to having it be just seductive foreplay.  Sometimes, information gathering can be really sexy too.

Finally, as I said earlier, check out that sexual positions tutorial. You may find that all you and the BF need to do is come up with a new position for the fuck, like you on top, or doggie style.

Good luck





Show him around, why don’t cha?

Name: Frankie
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Location: Juneau
Dr. Dick, I have been married for about 6 years and my husband and I have a great relationship. But I’m unsatisfied with our sex life. Here’s the thing. When I masturbate I cum, but I don’t when I have sex with my husband. When I was in college I had a NSA (no strings attached) sexual relationship with this guy. Neither one of us had an emotion attachment to the other, but it was great sex. Is it possible the reason I can’t cum with my husband is a breakdown between my emotions and my orgasms?

I think you’re asking if it is possible for a person to get off with a relative stranger (a NSA kinda connection), but have difficulty fully enjoying sex with someone they truly love. Is that about the size of it?

If I’m on target here, than the answer is yes, absolutely. This is more likely to be a bugaboo for women than men, but a lotta people experience a disconnect between sex and intimacy for one reason or another. If you can get off on your own and/or in a zip less fuck, but not with your old man, then I’d say you might be experiencing such a rift.bound_male.03

Sometime this has to do with upbringing. If you were socialized as a girl to believe that sex is dirty, or at least not particularly wholesome; then you may find it difficult putting love and sex together. Or if you were taught as a girl to think that women who enjoy sex are whores; then you may find it difficult putting devotion and passion together.

Of course, your problem might simply be that your college beau was a much better cocksmith than your hubby. He may have had the key, so to speak, to unlocking your orgasm.

Let’s start here. On the scale of 1-10, 10 being “World-Class Lover,” how would you rate your husband? If he is less then an 8, you’re gonna have to show him how to become a 10. Since many women require direct clitoral stimulation to get off, I suggest you have your old man stimulate your clitoris with his mouth, fingers or a vibrator. Have him do this before, during after, or even instead of fucking. Also, you gotta let him know precisely the way you like and need to be touched. This will go a long way towards increasing your sexual pleasure and satisfaction, which is the foundation to having orgasms. He will benefit too and become a much better lover.

restraintsThis is why I’m such a big proponent of mutual masturbation, even…or should I say especially…for folks in exclusive and long-term relationships. I like to think of it as a way of checking in with one another about the all important arousal stage of our sexual response cycle, which changes with time. Do yourself a favor and invite your hubby to a little show. If you think you might be a wee bit shy for just dropping trou and jilling-off for him, make this part of your sex play. Try a little erotic bondage; have him sit up in a chair or lie back in bed. Restrain his hands and arms and possibly his legs and feet as well using a belt, necktie, or silk scarf.

When you’re certain he won’t be able to use his hands to reach for you while you’re doing your show and tell, let the tour of your lady parts begin. Straddle his chest or lap, and bring your pussy up close to his face. Start by pointing out all the amazing features of your own unique vulva. Make this part instructional, but also naughty too. Stick your fingers in your hubby’s mouth and get them all slick with spit, then finger yourself. Get your own juices flowing and diddle your clit. It’ll be the most fantastic lap (face) dance he’ll ever have.

This is the ideal time for some dirty talk or reading erotic aloud. The more tuned on you are the better it will be for him too. Show him how you bring yourself to orgasm. Feel free to include lots of lube and a toy or two. Remember, this is all about you, but for his benefit. I can assure you it will be instructive for him and liberating for you. And most of all it will be hot, steamy fun for you both. And it won’t involve fucking. Once you’ve gotten yourself off a time or two, undo his restraints and let him do the same to and for you. Who know what wonderfully erotic doors will open for you both through this exercise.

Good luck

Take a look at all the interesting and smutty stuff I’ve collected on my new Tumbler page HERE!

Sit and Stay…Longer

Podcasting will resume next week Monday with a swell Q&A Show. Today, however, I want to pay tribute to my long-time companion, Ginger The Dog, who died last Friday, one month shy of her 14th birthday. She was so much a part of my life that she often appeared in my posting and provided sound effects in numerous podcasts. Here’s one such posting, re-posted from January 2005. This particular column remains one of my most popular postings ever.

 

 

Anyone the least bit familiar with Dr Dick’s wacky household will know all about Ginger. For the uninitiated, Ginger is a 5 year old German Shorthair Pointer, who believes she’s the center of the universe and who daily runs the good doctor into the ground.24604.jpg Ginger is special. She’s no one’s pet — least of all mine.

She doesn’t even think of herself as a dog — except when she forgets herself and takes off after a squirrel or a rabbit. And she makes a point of reminding me, several times a day, that she doesn’t “belong” to me. Rather, it is I who have the great privilege to share a domicile with her. I tell you all of this by way of introducing today’s topic. No, it’s not bestiality, ferchrisake! It’s behavior modification and sexual response. Ya know — learning how to last longer.

Here we’ll discuss the remedy for that pesky premature ejaculation problem everyone is talking about. Ginger was a year and a half old when she moved in and took over the joint. She had been abandoned and was, for all intents and purposes, completely feral when she arrived. Once here, Dr Dick tried to imprint a more civilized behavior pattern on his new housemate using several tried and true dog-training methods. Which, for all intents and purposes, are simply behavior modification techniques for doggies.

Successful behavior modification is dependent on the consistency of the stimulus. Consistent stimuli — a command and a treat — are supposed to create the desired response —sitting and staying. Sadly, this approach wasn’t overly successful for Ginger and me. In fact, about the only one who got trained/modified was Dr Dick. Ginger remains blissfully resistant to all efforts to civilize her.

The following correspondents, we hope, will succeed in modifying their sexual response with greater ease than my attempts to train Ginger The Dog. What differentiates them from the dog is that each of my correspondents has the motivation to change. Ginger, on the other hand, has no such motivation. She thinks she’s perfect just the way she is.

Hey Doc,I have a major problem that I hope I could get some advice from you. It’s about my sexual issue. Whenever I’m having sex, I can’t control my nerves. It means I can’t relax. And I come too fast and rapidly. I can’t have foreplay or enjoy sex. Do you know any medications or anything that would help me to prevent this? I guess my problem is what people called “premature ejaculation”. I can ejaculate rapidly, at first I thought it was really good. But later I figured out that wasn’t good. And that it’s a sickness. Please help me. Hope to hear from you soon.Thanks Dylan

Hey Dylan,Your premature ejaculation concern is not a sickness. In fact, it’s a very common complaint. Learning to last longer is a relatively easy thing to accomplish if that’s really what you want. Motivation is key.Let’s start with how you jack-off. If I had to guess these little sessions are speedy affairs, right? Quick jack-off sessions, just to relieve sexual tension can be a good thing, but they are also modifying your sexual response and interfering with your partnered pleasure.

Premature_Ejaculation_ManIf your body is being sensitized to cuming quickly, like while jerkin’-off, then that’s how it will respond later, when you are at play with a partner.I suggest that you take a different approach to your self-pleasuring activity. Some, if not all, of your masturbation should be dedicated to full body masturbation. That is, while you’re diddlin’ yourself with the one hand, your other hand is busy exploring the rest of your body. The object is to play with the sex tension and move it around. Some people call this edge play or edging.

The object here is to avoid an ejaculation. Move the sexual energy all over your body, touch and pleasure your whole body while stroking you cock. A nice massage lotion will add to the enjoyment. Make this time last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking your dick and continue to play with another part of your body, your tits, ass hole, prostate, feet, etc. When the urge to cum subsides, you can start to stroke your dick again. Practice this method over and over until you can last 30 minutes.

Successful behavior modification is dependent on the consistency of the stimulus.5431362.jpg Consistent stimuli — full body masturbation — will create the desired response — lasting longer.You are teaching your body a new way to respond to sexual stimulation. This will no doubt also increase your stamina when you’re with a partner. When you’re having sex with a partner do the same thing as when you are masturbating. Encourage your partner to spread the sexual energy around. Discourage her/him from concentrating on your dick. Work at stalling your orgasm. If you’re getting close to cuming, have him/her turn his/her attention to another pleasurable activity.

Don’t get frustrated if you can’tt regain control over your sexual response right away. This is gonna take some practice, but I think it’s worth the effort. Once you mastered this technique, there are other more advanced methods that I can tell you about later.Good luck.

Hi Richard,

My question is in two parts. 1. How can I orgasm more quickly? 2. How can I orgasm easily when someone else is doing the stimulation?I know this question might sounds strange because many guys are trying to not cum too quickly.Here’s some background; over the years, I have gotten very in-touch with my physical sexual side. I have learned control the build up to orgasm and my orgasm. Having this control is amazing for the most part — it allows long periods of edge play, which I really enjoy.

However, the disadvantage is that I can’t easily orgasm quickly and usually can’t orgasm at all when someone else is doing the stimulation. These two limitations haven’t been a big concern until recently. My orgasm isn’t necessarily the most important part of sex for me. Unfortunately, many times my limitations are disappointing to a sex partner. He wants to see me cum and/or wants to make me cum. Both of these desires are totally understandable — I really enjoy doing the same for him.Is it possible for me to “learn” to cum more quickly and is it possible to “learn” how to cum from the stimulation of someone other than myself? Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Jim

Hey Jim,

What an interesting predicament you present. As you suggest, I’m forever hearing from guys who have the opposite problem as you. They what to prolong their sex play before 180402.jpgcoming. Your message to me proves my point to them; our sexual response is altered, for good or for worse, by how we stimulate ourselves.Curious enough, the answer to your query resides in the detail you present about your particular sexual practices. Clearly, you have conditioned your body, and thus your sexual response cycle, to last a very long time, perhaps too long. I guess that’s the downside of long periods of edge play.

How does one remedy this? Gosh, you’ve conditioned yourself so successfully; there may be little you can do to reverse this.

Orgasms, as you know, are not things we can will to happen or not to happen. However, you could try to find a stroke or a type of stimulation that you could use to successfully bring yourself to climax. Concentrate on that stroke with the intention of getting yourself off ASAP. You would then have to show your partner(s) this technique if you wanted them to get you off. Just a thought, does ass play and prostate massage speed up your orgasm? It does for lots of other men. So if you’re not already doing so, perhaps you could incorporate some…or more of this.

What you’re gonna want to do here is reverse some of the conditioning you’ve done and relearn a new sexual practice or response. It can be done. Will it take determination? You betcha!

Good luck

Short Fuse

Name: Marcos
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Location: new york city
I may have premature ejaculation, meaning after I’m exited I can’t hold it in (ejaculation) for more than a couple of minutes, which worries me regarding the pleasure I can provide… Suggestions, other than the eventual doctor visit?

The curious thing about premature ejaculation is that what constitutes “premature” is pretty subjective. Some men report that they can only last a minute or two, others say they can last only 15 minutes, but all consider themselves as premature ejaculators. I’m not trying to suggest that PE is a figment of one’s imagination, on the contrary. Any guy who isn’t satisfied with the control he has, or does not have, over his ejaculation may fall into this general category. In the same way, lasting longer, whatever longer, might mean is a relatively easy thing to accomplish. All ya gotta do is work at prolonging the pleasure.premature-ejaculators-anonymous

Let’s start with how you jack-off, Marcos. If I had to guess these sessions are speedy little affairs, right? A quick wank just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing, but if that’s all the self-pleasuring you do it will interfere with your partnered pleasure later. Look at it this way, if you body is sensitized to cumin’ quickly like while jerkin’ off just relieve tension, then that’s how it’ll respond later, when you’re with a partner.

I suggest that you reevaluate your self-pleasuring activity. Most, if not all, of your masturbation should be dedicated to full body masturbation. The object in this kind of masturbation is to play with the sex tension that develops in self-pleasuring and to delay the your ejaculation for as long as you can.

Here’s how it works, as you become turned on you build up sexual tension. I want you to move the sexual energy all over your body as you stroke your cock. Touch and pleasure your whole body — feet, nipples, asshole, what have you. Make the pleasure last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking your dick and concentrate your play on the other parts of your body. When the urge to cum subsides, you can start to stroke your dick again. Do this over and over till you can last 30 minutes. By the way, some people refer to this as edging or edge play — coming to the edge of cuming and then backing away. Get it? Got it? Good!

Premature_Ejaculation_ManThe purpose of this exercise, I mean besides the joy of gettin’ off on your whole body, is to teach your body a different way to respond to cock stimulation. If you practice this method conscientiously it will increase your sexual stamina when you’re with a partner too.

I also have in mind a swell sex toy that will help you overcome your premature ejaculation. I discovered the ideal device to help you or anyone else that wants to last longer. As you may already know I have a product reviews site, cleverly named: DrDickSexToyReviews.com.  I post reviews of all kinds of adult products — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. I reviewed the Fleshlight way back in 2007.

To make a long story short, the Fleshlight is, as I said, is a male masturbator, but a very unique one. I wrote in my review:icejack.jpg

“I always like to take my time with a new toy. Ya know, to get a sense of how the thing works and feels. This was particularly the way to go with the Fleshlight. Masturbating with one of these puppies has several advantages to your basic hand job. First, there is a delightful silkiness, and a tight consistent pressure on your cock throughout each stroke. In this regard pluggin’ a Fleshlight is very different than pluggin’ any human orifice I know. But that’s not a bad thing, mind you. Consider the guy who is dealing with premature ejaculation, for example. I’m positive that if he used a Fleshlight to train himself to last longer, he’d have way more success than if he just used his hand. This is an ideal device for practicing delaying one’s orgasm. And you can bank on that!”

Now when you’re having sex with your partner; do the same thing as when you’re doing your full-body masturbation. Spread the sexual energy around. Don’t focus on your pud. Concentrate on stalling your orgasm through the techniques you learned in your self-pleasuring. If you’re getting close to cumin’, pull out of penetration till you regain control; then reinsert.

This is going to take some practice, but I think it’s worth the effort. Once you mastered this there are other more advanced techniques that I can turn you on to.

One final thing, if you are concerned about the amount of pleasure you can provide, short fuse or not, I always encourage the men I work with in my private practice to look to pleasuring their partners before they even get warmed up themselves. But even after you cum, you still have a mouth and hands and fingers with witch to pleasure your partner, so there’s never an excuse to leave a partner unsatisfied regardless of your own sexual response cycle.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

SEO Powered by Platinum SEO from Techblissonline
Get Adobe Flash player