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The Mens…They Gots Issues!

This is unusual! My correspondents are all of the manly persuasion today. How did that happen? Where are all the womens?

Name: vic
Gender:
Age: 37
Location: hollywood
I think I have hemroids can you tell me what to do and what kind of dr i should see

hemorrhoids.jpgYou think you have hemorrhoids, but you don’t know for sure? What I can tell you is that hemorrhoids are abnormally swollen veins in your rectum and asshole. They’re like varicose veins you might see on a person’s legs only they’re in your butt. You gots your inside kind and you gots your outside kind. (See the lovely illustration on the right.)

When bulging hemorrhoidal veins are irritated, they cause surrounding membranes to swell, burn and itch. Sound familiar? This can become pretty painful, and they can bleed too. Hemorrhoids are caused by too much pressure in your bum, forcing blood to stretch and bulge the walls of the veins, sometimes rupturing them.

Frequent causes include:

  • Too much sitting
  • Straining with bowel movements (constipation or diarrhea)
  • Severe coughing
  • Birthin’ babies (This may not apply to you, don’t ‘cha know!)
  • Heavy Lifting

What you can do to help:

  • Be sure your hole is clean after each dump. Use a premoistened towelette, like baby wipes or Tucks for a thorough clean-up.
  • Avoid rubbing and scratching.
  • Make sure the soap you use is scent and dye free.
  • Apply ice to reduce swelling, followed by a warm compress.
  • Take a sitz bath. Fill your bathtub with just enough warm water to cover your ass, add Epsom salts. Soak your sorry tush for about 15 minutes a couple times a day.

There are plenty of over-the-counter hemorrhoid ointments, creams, and suppositories too.

Any physician, including a general practitioner, would be able to diagnosis a case of hemorrhoids.

Name: Rab
Gender:
Age: 41
Location: USpa3.jpg
I had a PA piercing some 15 years ago. I went up to 02 gauge five years back. since, my dick has been shinking. is it age? or is it cuz of the weight of the jewlery? (muscles pulling to counter the weitght)

Your dick will sure enough shrink as you age. But darling, you’re just 41! How much is your willie shrinking, anyhow? Is it that noticeable? Because if it is that would really be odd. If anything, the large gauge ring you have in your PA should stretch your dick, not shrink it. No, I don’t think your muscles are contracting to counter the weight.

Name: JON
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: LA
HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF EJACULATE HARDER AND LONGER WHEN DOING MASTURBATION?

Ever try “Edging”? This is a stop/start technique guaranteed to prolong the time it takes you to reach your climax. Grab your dick and begin to wank like usual. When you get near to cumming — stop. After the urge to shoot subsides begin to slowly123.jpg stroke again. Stop when you once again approach climax. Repeat this whole ‘stop and start’ cycle for as many times as you would like. When ya finally shoot you’ll have a stronger orgasm and you’ll spew more spunk.

Another cool method is the “Squat ‘N Jerk”. Squat on the floor, and stretch your knees as far apart as possible. Lean against a wall if necessary. Feel the stretch in your feet, calves, thighs, taint and asshole. Tighten your abs and begin your yank session. Try to keep your rod perpendicular to the floor as you stroke. Because of the tension in your feet, legs and butt, when you shoot you’re sure to get more of a bang for your buck.

A variation on this technique is to squat on a dildo or a butt plug. ENJOY!

Name: Trev
Gender:
Age: 27
Location: Toronto
My boyfriend and I got into a fight last night and he punched me in the face. He lost his job about a month ago and since then he has been using drugs, mostly pot but some speed too. When he gets depressed he gets angry and I have to stay out of his way. I’m worried about him but he won’t get help. He says he’s sorry about last night but it’s different when he is high. What can I do to help?

You could start by taking a long hard look at your own enabling behaviors, pup. I can tell, even from this great distance, that you are a doormat. Remember, behind every abuser is an enabler. Behind every drunk and druggie is an enabler. The fact that you are more concerned about your abusive BF than your own safety tells me there is more to your unhealthy relationship than what you reveal here.

Many victims of abuse, and you are an abuse victim, Trev, believe the abuse is their fault. Regardless of how twisted your relationship may be, there is never sufficient cause for someone to punch his partner anywhere on his body, least of his face. Your BF has at least three major issues to deal with: a) his depression, b) his anger/violence and c) his drug abuse. As you suggest, these are related. You are neither well positioned nor well enough informed to assist him with either. In fact, as I say above, you are part of the problem.

You, on the other hand, have issues of your own that he can’t help you with, because he is part of your problem. Abusers often promise to change their behavior, and those empty promises often keep the victim from identifying the pattern of abuse in the relationship. Sound familar?

Anyone in a relationship that doesn’t have the emotional wherewithal to leave an abusive relationship needs help ASAP. Here’s a resource for you: The Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project

Name: johndp.jpg
Gender:
Age: 40
Location: india
how to perform double anal intercourse in gaymen smoothly

Practice! Practice! Practice!

Good luck ya’ll!

OH THE HUMANITY!

Once again my inbox is filled with quires from all over the globe.

Name: MARK
Gender:
Age: 44
Location: ca
im experiencing ED for 2 years. According to eastern medicine, which i believe in, it’s the result of low kidney chi…are you familiar with mantak chia? can you share any feedback you’ve heard regarding his taoist sex practices?

Alas, I do not know the man or his take on Erectile Dysfunction. If you find out more, do let me know. I’m very interested in cross-cultural philosophies about sex.

Name: Tommy
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: bay area
If your wit this guy for some time. How do you make him be more interested in you. I been sleeping with this person for some time and I feel we have gotten closer> I just want to know I do I reel him in. thanks tommy

vintage311.jpgI am of the mind that humans are not much like fish. They can’t be reeled in. But they can be REASONED in.

Listen, my friend, if you feel like your relationship with this guy has matured to the point where you’d like to take it to the next level, whatever that may be. Why not just come out and tell the bloke how you feel. Ask him to be honest with you about his feelings too. You may be pleasantly surprised to learn that he shares your desire to be more than fuck buddies. If not, at least you’ll know where you stand.

Name: canine
Gender:
Age: 30
Location: philippines
i have a 4 inch dick, 4 inches circumference, would it be enough to satisfy a women. i have tried so many penile enlarging pill, it doesnt work, tried pump, doesnt work either, i am looking at fat transplant is it safe?, would it really lengthen and provide more girth? a 5×5 would be enough for me. help!

manchains.jpgFour inches is plenty to pleasure most women. Most women don’t give a shit about dick size. But ya know what? Even if they were, you are more than your dick size. Presumably you also have functional fingers and a tongue, not to mention an ability to charm a woman. These are the things that will get you laid, my friend, not your 4 or 5 inches.

So you’ve tried enlarging pills and pumps and they don’t work. You don’t say! I keep telling guys to not waste their money. But it looks like you haven’t learned your lesson yet. Now, instead of just useless pills and bogus pumps you want to have some one inject your dick with your own body fat. Is another inch really worth the effort, expense, and risk involved with this procedure if it were to go bad? And mark my words; it will go bad. I have yet to see even one fat injected cock that looks normal. They all look deformed, like they have cottage cheese under the skin. In most cases the body rejects a large portion of the fat injection. The procedure often needs to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

Stop right now. Spend your money on something that will make you more attractive and interesting to the ladies. Take a class in sensual massage, or study tantrac sex techniques. Just leave your dick alone!

Name: jason
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Connecticut
if I like anal sex but not all the time does this make me gay even though I like to be with women too?

5484782_400.jpgTakin’ it up the ass don’t make you gay, even if you’re being plugged by another dude. It may suggest that you are technically bisexual, since you say you also like to be with women. But hell, even a lot of straight guys get pegged by their girlfriends or wives.

So what’s the lesson in all of this? All these labels are useless unless you yourself choose to identify yourself with one or another of them. And for lots of people, sexual identities are fluid things. Be honest with yourself and let your public identity flow from that.

Name: catherine joanne
Gender:
Age: 42
Location: canada, alberta
I am in a very loving, uderstanding, compasionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is, in every way he stimulates my emotional side, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners i have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships has always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, or is this how the “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he just is not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I do not desire to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabatouge this relationship. sincerely: Catherine

If this guy is satisfying you as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced and progressive than he is. That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll never become a wild fuck. But then again, you wouldn’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners. But you already know that, huh?

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck as it is to make a domestic fuck wild!

Name: jamie
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Georrgia
lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM

What’s goin on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR! Hey, maybe he started out with a skin irritation of some sort or another, and pluggin’ you only made it worse. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR!

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin around without a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Name: rupalini
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: india
i am unable to have an orgasm.. how ever i try.. its emotionally straining on me.. could be pls tell me techniques to relax and enjoy..?

Let’s begin by dispelling the notion that there may be something wrong with you. There isn’t. You do, however, fall into a category we in the biz call “pre-orgasmic women.”

Orgasms don’t always come easily to some women, and that’s a fact. I suppose there are as many reasons for this as there are preorgasmic women. A woman’s pleasure center (her clit) is more subtle and less obvious than a man’s raging hardon. Women are socialized about sexuality especially where you live — even nowadays — in a much different way then men are. Men have more cultural permissions to be sexually adventuresome than women do.

Case in point. When I was just beginning my sex therapy practice I had a young engaged couple, Joel and Amy, visit me with the very issue you raise. As I would soon learn, Joel considered himself a top-notch cocksmith. He was fond of saying that he could reduce any woman to blubbering jelly with either his mouth or his magic-wand of a dick. (Oh, lord, how us mens love to brag!)

But Joel was completely flummoxed to discover that the love of his life, the young woman sitting next to him, was immune to his sexual prowess. He had to get to the bottom of this…so to speak. So he decided to haul the little woman in for my diagnosis.

Amy squirmed with discomfort during this little introduction. I thought she would absolutely die as Joel detailed the intimacies of their lovemaking. He was being very explicit. I knew I’d get nowhere with Amy while numb-nuts Joel was sitting right there, so I told him to go take a hike while Amy and I had a chat.

I first asked Amy about the early messages she got about her body. She thought for a moment and answered. “I don’t know if this is what you mean, but one of my earliest recollections is my mother teaching me to wash myself. I must have been no more than 5 or 6 years old. She began by telling me I should wash my body like we washed dishes. First and foremost, I was to attend to my hair, my face and my hands…like we would first wash the fine crystal and silverware. My mother explained that my hair, face and hands would be what would attract a husband. Then I was to wash the rest of my body…just like we would then wash the rest of the dishes. Finally, at the end of the bath, I could wash my genitals…but only with a different cloth than the one I used on the rest of me…just like we washed the pots and pans.”

This unearthed memory startled Amy. Even though she hadn’t thought about it for years, she realized she continued to wash herself in that same manner to that very day. This was so startling to her that she followed that revelation with one equally astonishing. She told me that once she reached puberty her mother took her aside for the “BIG TALK.” Menstruation and all the embarrassment and confusion that brought with it, added to the pot and pan imagery really threw poor Amy for a loop. Her mother said…referring to her genitals, “You must save that for the one you love and will marry.” WHAT? “This dirty part, this thing that’s cursed with a monthly unclean bloodletting was supposed to be SAVED for the man of my dreams. YUCK, why?”

brazilian-bedlock.jpgPoor Amy! She was a tangle of confusion and mixed messages. No wonder she was preorgasmic. No wonder fucking Joel, despite her love for him, was a teeth-clenching chore. No wonder his begging to eat her pussy was met with a “Oh, please don’t. I’m not ready for that.”

There was a lot of work to be done, but she was eager to begin.

We began her home-play exercises with journal work and a self-sexological exam. I instructed her to get a hand mirror and a diagram of female genitalia. She was to get to work familiarizing herself and making friends with her estranged pussy. Her exam would entail a detailed touch test. Every square inch from her asshole to her navel was to be tested for sensitivity. I suggested she draw pictures of cunt and color them to represent the levels of sensitivity — red being the hottest and most pleasurable areas to blue being the more neutral areas and all the colors in-between. I encouraged her to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand. I suggested a nice personal lubricant for her wet hand exploration. I encouraged her to spend at least 30 minutes a day for three consecutive days. She had a lot of reacquainting to do, don’t cha know. And this was to be private time. Joel was not to invited.

On the forth day, if she was ready, she could invite Joel to join her. No pressure for that to happen, just a suggestion. But whenever she was ready to invite Joel to her little pussy get-acquainted party, he could only attend as a guest, not a participant. I encouraged her to give Joel the royal tour of Amy’s fabulous cunt. She was to show Joel her drawings and once the tour and art show was over that was it. No fucking, no sucking, no nothing just the tour and art show.

Poor Joel was beside himself. He couldn’t see the logic of him not being involved. I had to impress upon him that this was Amy’s work not his. And if he just held on to that magic johnson of his, he’d be back with an orgasmic Amy in no time. But he had to be patient.

When next we were together Amy shared her artwork with me. I could tell right away from just looking at the pictures she drew that she found her clit. Amy was pleased as all get out with her newfound pussy friend. She was eager to take it to the next level.

The following week’s home-play would include a vibrator. Amy was to shop for the one she wanted and take it home to introduce it to her pussy. Using the pictures she created of her genitals, she was to kick-start that vibrator, throw it into first gear and start making small lazy circles around the blue areas, and work her way to the bright red areas. She was to do this privately for 30 minutes for three consecutive days or until there was a breakthrough.

I knew this wasn’t gonna take long, and it didn’t. The very next day, I got the anticipated phone call. Amy was breathless. “Holy shit, I did it!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god, I saw stars, the earth moved and I made so much noise that Joel came running into the room thinking I had somehow hurt myself. He stood there in stunned silence as he watched me throw myself another screaming meme.” I loved the way she already had a name for her orgasms…screamin’ memes.

And so that’s how Amy went from being preorgasmic to being a totally “I know how to give myself a big fat juicy orgasm” in a matter of a couple of weeks. YEAH!

big-13.jpgNow let’s review for you Rupalini. The basic formula for achieving an orgasm is acquainting yourself with your pussy. Map out all the points of interest. Find out what feels good, and repeat it. The object of this first step is not to stress about having an orgasm it’s all about reconnecting with your cunt.

The more you know about this marvelous part of you the better you’re gonna be at slammin yourself a screamin’ meme when the time comes. Knowing your way around your pussy is also gonna be helpful in partnered sex, especially if your partners are men. Like I said earlier, one of the reasons you’re preorgasmic may be you’ve had uninformed lovers.

You see most men’s interest in pussy extends to the end of his dick. And it completely expires once he’s shot his wad. So don’t mistake a man’s pawing at you to get in your pants as authentic interest in you and/or your pussy. Mostly a man is interested in getting’ some relief for his johnson. And that’s about as far as our interest goes. So, if you find a partner that doesn’t know shit from shinola about your love cave, you’ll better have the confidence to give him a tutorial before the fucking commences.

Step two is masturbation. You may have tried it before without success, that’s ok. This time you’ll be better informed about all the hot spots of your coozie that you learned in step one. I’m a big fan of full body masturbation. So while you’re diddlin’ yourself spread the sexual energy all over your body — tits, ass, feet, mouth, whatever.

Vary your technique: stroke, pinch, pat, massage, and rub yourself all over. Vary your breathing, gyrate your hips, listen to sexy music, rent some porn, watch yourself in a mirror, or throw in some Kegel exercises. Try a wet hand. Play with yourself in the bath. Hell, dance around naked with a jewel in your navel…whatever it takes.

022107.jpgMany women experience their first orgasm with the help of a vibrator, just like old Amy. I encourage you to be adventuresome and experiment with one too. Try a dildo or another sex toy.

Be sure to keep a journal during this exploratory period. This will help you later to bridge the gap in communicating with your partners.

Finally, Rupalini, may I turn you on to a fantastic webstie, www.Clitical.com. This is a one-stop shop for all things relating to female sexuality.

Good luck ya’ll

TOYS 4 TARTS

Once again, I have the pleasure of introducing all you perverts and wannabes to some very interesting playthings. Thanks to my inquisitive correspondents and Dr Dick’s Stockroom I’m able to bring you another installment of my ever so popular, Sex Toy Awareness feature.

Dr Dick, my new BF is an insatiable bottom. HELP, my dick is about to fall off from over use. I want to keep the fella happy, but I need a break. Our 6-month anniversary is coming up and I want to get him a little something to celebrate. I need something to feed his hungry hole. What do you suggest?
— Exhausted!

b038.jpg
I feel your pain. While it’s great to have a man primed and ready for a pounding 24/7, it’s generally too much work for just one human to handle. I mean, when will you find that time to do your nails?

I suggest you get some help. No, you don’t have to share your guy with another top. You need to get yourself a mechanism. And I have just the one for you. Check out the Remote Control Anal Plug (B038). This marvel of modern adult toy engineering offers the promise of hands-free anal stimulation. This anal plug has a stimulator is located in its base and is powered by two AAA batteries (included). It produces a very pleasant vibration with surprisingly little noise.

The remote (with an on/off switch) is a convenient size, just barely larger than a matchbox. It can easily be hidden in a pocket or purse. Testing shows this device to have a range of 30-40 feet. Just pop this puppy in his eager hole and you’ll be able to pleasure him at a distance. Do the crossword, bake a quiche or shop Homo Depot and still keep a smile on his face. No top should be without one!

Good luck

Hey Doc! I finally found my G-spot and damn if I’m not one satisfied chick. The big-O has never been more amazing. But wait, there’s a rub! I sometimes get a cramp while fingering myself for so long. I have a selection of vibrators that I like very much, but not one of them hits the spot. What’s a girl to do?
— Fingers Too Short

c057.jpgIf it’s not one thing, it’s another! I knew this woman once that worked so hard gettin’ herself off that she’d collapse afterward. It was pert-near time to notify the next of kin, don’t ‘cha know.

Darlin’, jillin’-off needn’t be such a chore. Check out the Rock Chick (C057). It’s designed to be used with a rocking motion as opposed to the thrusting associated with most other vibrators. The clever U-shape design will hit the spot. The narrow part inserts into the vagina, while the wider part rests on the clitoris. The Vibrating bullet is located in the tip of the wider end to stimulate the clitoris.

A gentle one-handed rocking motion is all you need to apply. Not only does it offer a one-handed movement but it can also provide “Hands Free Orgasms”. Once positioned, sit up on the edge of the bed or a chair and gently rock back and forth, leaving your hands free. HeeHaw, Gitty Up!

You can also heat up your Rock-Chick with hot tap water (1-2 minutes) for comforting warmth or cool it down in the freezer for an icy chill.

You can’t beat this with a stick!

Good Luck

Doctor Dick, A couple of weeks ago, you did a podcast about spanking. Thanks, I loved it. What about something for us beginner floggers/flogees? My sub GF wants me to get rid of the unraveled cotton cord we’ve been using and get something more professional. She wants it to look and feel more threatening. Ideas?
— Done With Cotton

j295.jpgI’m working on that flogging tutorial even as we speak. So hold your horses, already why don’t ‘cha? In the meantime, you betcha I got some ideas on what would be a good replacement for what you currently got goin’ on. (You get high marks for creatively — making do with the unraveled cord thingy. But jeez, Louise, a cotton whip? WTF? You trying gonna give us all a bad name?)

There’s nothing like the look, smell and feel of leather for titillating the flesh of your bitch sub. You’ll both love how leather will sweeten things up and make you feel like pros. Why not check out this little number for starters. The Flogger Whip, Suede, 12″(J295).

It has 32 strands (or “blades”) that are 1⁄4” wide, 12” long, and come to a nice point at the tips. The 51⁄2” handle is fitted with an 8” leather wrist loop for hanging the implement. You do want to make a fashion statement, don’t you?

Don’t think just because it’s small it can’t deliver. It does and you will. I see welts in your future.

Good luck

Doc, when you did your podcast about bondage last week you only talked robe bondage. What’s up with that? I use leather restraints in my dungeon. Care to comment?
— hide in hand

j127.jpgWell, smell you with your fancy-schmancy leather appointed dungeon! You must be the snootiest dom on the block.

Actually, I do care to comment. Technically, bondage is the generic rubric, under which restraints fall as a subcategory. And leather is just one of the materials used in restraints, albeit a very popular one.

So just for you, my precious, I have these little numbers. Check out the Extra Wide Ankle Cuffs (J127).

These cuffs are similar in design to the basic locking cuffs only more “heavy-duty.” They are wider and made of heavier leather, with a larger hasp. Perfectly suited to the really uppity sub, who doesn’t yet know his/her place

Cut from extra-thick, black, latigo leather, each cuff is 31⁄4″ wide and will fit ankles approximately 6″ to 101⁄2″ around. These cuffs are comfortable and extremely secure. No leather-appointed dungeon should be without!

Good luck

Dick, I got really sensitive nipples they’re hotwired to b174.jpgright to my dick. I saw this guy at the bar last week and he had nipples the size of my fingertip. They were crazybig and shit. Is that like natural, or are his nips on steroids?
Big Nips 4 Me

Dude, like you need to totally pull your head out of your ass and wake up to how the big boys (and girls) get them freaky sized nipples. Check out the Universal Nipple Enlarger Kit (B174). This multi purpose nipple play item offers a lower cost alternative to many higher-end suction devices.

This hand-dandy kit comes with four different ring sizes and two different pump applicators, allowing for a perfect fit for most people, and a full range of sensations. A larger ring will provide a light sensation and keep your nipples comfortably erect. Use a smaller size for more sensation and/or “bite,” as well as a greater enlarging effect.

Directions:
1. Slide the chosen ring onto the tip of the pump.
2. Squeeze the bulb and attach to the nipple, wait for the desired attainment of swelling.
3. Slide the ring onto the nipple and remove the pump.

Try one of these babies on for size. Then send me photos of your freaks.

Good luck

I Have A Pain in My Inbox!

From the sublime to the ridiculous, my inbox is a catch all. Kinda like the grease trap in your kitchen drain. Wading through the detritus can often be injurious to my health. But wade I must. So onward we go.

Name: anonras
Gender:
Age: 47
Location: Northridge CA
I’ve heard a lot about checking your balls for possible problems — but none ever say what lumps you have naturally. At the low point of my testacies I feel a lump (I would explain it as an area that would feel more or less like a cracked egg, you have that part that is globulous and is string-tethered to the yoke. Is that exactly what’s happening? Should you feel any pain if you squeeze it — especially trying to figure out if it is a lump or not?

repo.jpgHoney, I’m clever as all-get out about lots of things, but the lump on your balls ain’t one of those things. I’m not a medical doctor; I don’t even play one here on the internets. And I can assure you, no reputable doctor anywhere would hazard a guess about what you present without first seeing you in person. That’s just good medicine.

That being said, I applaud you taking note of your balls in an inquisitive sort of way. Good for you! But you should also have at least a rudimentary understanding of your testicular anatomy. So that when you do your self-exam, you can have some sense about what it is you are examining. To this purpose, I offer the diagram to the right. Is there anything in the diagram that looks even remotely like what you are feeling in your ballsack?

Finally, if you have a concern about what you think may be an abnormality, isn’t it high time for you to high tail it to a doctor for a look-see?

Good luck

Name: Dorian
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: NYC
Is there any difference in Penis size between races?

Seriously? You need to get out more, darlin!
black_big_dick1.jpg
You becha there a difference in cock size between the races. While, within each racial group there is a natural diversity of size, from tiny to gargantuan. There’s no getting around the fact that there are more gargantuan johnsons in some racial groups then other. At the risk of perpetuating a stereotype, compare some fine black dick to some sweet Chinese cock.

asian.jpg

Good luck

Name: Kent I B Pinker
Gender:
Age: 32
Location: New Zealand
I am curious about anal bleaching. In part just for the sheer vanity of it, but also as a surprise and kinky turn on for my partner. I have done some research online but I am scared after reading some of the horror stories. Any advice?

Kent I B Pinker? I love it! You get the award for “Most Clever Pseudonym of the Year! Congratulations!

If you’re curious about anal bleaching — and yes, there is such a thing — you have way too much time on your hands. Anal bleaching is just the latest in a string of truly disturbing cosmetic trends sweeping the “More Money Than Brains” crowd. WTF, folks? If your vanity extends to the hue of your rosebud, you’re just too goddamn vain, in my humble opinion!

anusbanner.jpgThis all started in the adult industry, don’t ‘cha know. I guess some folks figured they weren’t quite ready for their close-up. Being part of that industry myself, I know how unforgiving hot lights and hi-def can be. However, I still can’t condone such a dangerous and reckless practice.

You are right to be scared off by the horror stories of bleachings gone bad, Kent. So I suggest, unless your hole is makin’ you money, you forego even contemplating the procedure.

Good luck

Name: William
Gender:
Age: 67
Location: Connecticut
Is there such a thing as a being a homosexual watcher only? Getting an erection but not wanting to perform?

kinsey_scale.jpgAll sexual orientation is on a continuum. See the Kinsey Scale to the right. The dean of American sex research, Alfred Kinsey, his associate, Wardell Pomeroy, and others developed this scale as a way of classifying a person’s sexuality in terms of both behavior and fantasy. These pioneering sexologists also found that an individual may be reassigned a position on this scale, at different periods in his/her life. It’s conceivable that one could go from 0 to 6 in a lifetime, or just a summer on Fire Island. This seven-point scale comes close to showing the many gradations that actually exist in human sexual expression.

To your specific question, William… Yes, some one could be a Kinsey “6” in terms of his fantasy and desire, but be a Kinsey “0” in terms of behaviors.

We’re amazing creatures, huh?

Good Luck

Name: michelle
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: canada
tips to help when the man your sleeping with has a small penis

Tips? …no pun intended, I hope.

doggiestyle.jpgOk, here goes — Tip #1, grin and bear it. Tip #2, find a guy with more pork. Tip #3, get a dildo. Tip #4, find a sexual position, like doggie style, that will make the most of every little bit of pecker the poor guy’s got. Tip #5, remember it ain’t always da meat, but it is always da motion.

Good luck

Name: Drew
Gender:
Age: 43
Location: Philadelphia
I am looking forward to my first man-on-man sex for the first time with a hookup in the near future. Question: What type of “preparation” do I need for my first anal sex? Also, should I use a condom with giving/getting oral sex? Thanks.

You’re in luck, newbee butt-pirate! Dr Dick has written (postings) and spoken (podcasts) extensively about the joys of ass fucking. Check out the CATEGORIES section on the left side of the site. Look for anything with the word “ass” in it. We don’t mince words around here. Or you can simply search for Liberating The B.O.B. Within. That’ll get ya started.

As to your concern about condom-covered dick for blowjobs; I don’t see a pressing reason for such. That’s not to say there’s no reason, just not a pressing one. I am of the mind that we ought to know something about the dick we’re sucking. Does it look healthy? Do you know where it’s been before it was in your mouth? How’s our oral health and hygiene? Will there be an exchange of bodily fluids? If you have questions about any of these things, maybe you need to postpone the cocksucking.

Good luck

Name: william
Gender:
Age: 19
Location: Wisconsin
In cock size, is 4 1/2 to small. Why is it so small and is there a way to fix it.

Jeez, ya mean 4.5” erect? Yeah, that’s kinda on the “How Adorable” end of the size spectrum. It’s not quite, “OMG, How Pathetic”, nor is it “Yikes, You’ll Put an Eye Out With That” either.

Why is it so small? Sheesh, beats me. Maybe when the angles were handing out meat, you thought they said “feet” and asked for petite.

Is there a way to fix it? Are you suggesting it doesn’t work? Or are you just a size queen? While you’re trying to figure that out, why not take a look at: Much Ado About Very Little.

Good luck

Time On My Hands

When I was just a little tike, the nuns who taught me in grade school would often say, “idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Far be it from me to lend the devil an idle hand. While I was waitin’ on my new computer, the one that allowed me to resume my podcasts, I decided to use some of the down time to respond to a backlog of correspondents in the old fashioned way…by writing.

Name: Adam
Gender:
Age: 34
Location: UK
I have been attracted to male children for years. Having been arrested for viewing child porn I realize that I need to pursue a celibate lifestyle. I realize that celibacy is a demanding lifestyle. What advice would you offer me?

You present a particularly touchy issue for our culture, Adam. But before I respond, I’d like to help you with some of your vocabulary. You say you need to pursue a celibate lifestyle. I think you mean to say you need to pursue an abstinent lifestyle. The two concepts — celibacy and sexual abstinence — mean different things. Unfortunately, way too many people use these terms interchangeably. This is not a good thing and only serves to muddy the waters further.

Celibacy has a very specific meaning. Let me whip out my trusty, handy dandy Funk & Wagnalls dictionary. Celibacy: the state of being unmarried. Some people infer, especially those of a strict religious bent, that celibacy also connotes sexual abstinence. Ya see, religious people are of the mind that there is no legitimate sexual expression outside the confines of heterosexual marriage. Legitimate or not, unmarried people have always been and will always continue to be sexual, so making that unfortunate connection between celibacy and abstinence ill advised.

The only thing we ought to be able to say for sure when someone identifies him/herself as celibate is that he/she is not married. To assume a celibate person, even one who has taken a vow of celibacy, is sexually abstinent is quite a dangerous stretch indeed. Need I point out the very unfortunate sex abuse scandals that continue to plague the Roman Catholic Church?

In the same way, if someone identifies him/herself as sexually abstinent, the only thing we ought to be able to say for sure is that he/she is not engaging in any type of sexual expression. It would be false to assume that a sexually abstinent person is not married, because there are a lot of married people who are indeed sexually abstinent.

In your case, Adam, I believe you are telling me that you are both not married (celibate), and because of your particular sexual predilection — young boys — you must also be sexually abstinent. If I’ve got this right…and it is very important that I not misinterpret your words…then I think there are options you may not have considered.

I firmly believe that we learn our sexuality. All we eroticize, in your case boys, is learned behavior. You once learned to eroticize boys; you can now learn to eroticize a more appropriate group of people. This isn’t a particularly easy thing to accomplish, but it’s not impossible either.

Anytime any one of us discovers that the object of our desires is someone inappropriate, we need to adjust our eroticism immediately. This is the better part of being a sexually responsible person. Pedophilia is just one such inappropriate eroticism. A father for his daughter, a mother for her son, a boss for a subordinate, a man for his neighbor’s wife, a teacher for her student, a counselor for his/her client, a congressman for his page…are you getting the picture? I hope so. And the list goes on and on.

I believe learning to readjust your eroticism to a more appropriate outlet is a much better option than trying to live a sexually abstinent lifestyle. The reason I believe this is that having a more appropriate outlet will at least give you an outlet for your pent up sexuality. If you have no outlet, or limit yourself to masturbation, you will only intensify your longings and further fixate on the inappropriate object of your current desires.

Like anyone trying to wean him/herself off a bad habit, the task ahead of you Adam, will be challenging. It will also be enriching and life-affirming. I hasten to add that you ought not try to do this on your own. Work with a sex-positive therapist.

You’re a relatively young man with many years ahead of you. These years can be filled with happy, healthy and appropriate sexual expression. Make it happen.

Good luck!

Name: Bert
Age: 54
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Dear Sir,
7 years ago I lost my lover who I had lived for 14 years by AIDS. 6 months later I met my present lover. His lover just died of lung cancer. We met each other at a time we needed someone in our life. I am not a person who steps inside easily into a relationship. For the first 3 years we had a review every 3 months and every 3 months we extended our relationship for another 3 months. I needed time to get over my loss. My problem is that I cannot ejaculate when I have sex with my present lover and my appetite for sex has vanished. Before my lover died I had the greatest appetite for sex and I had no inhibitions about sex. I feel shy and uncomfortable when he approaches me and I do have an erected penis. In the first years I thought the reason was my lost of my lover. But after seven years it must be over. Can you give me advice?

Dear Bert,
Grief has a profound effect on our sexual response. In my practice I have found that grief is one of the leading causes of sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction. You, Bert, present the classic symptoms of grief induced sexual dysfunction and dysphoria.

As you probably know, some animals mate for life. When the mate dies, that animal will not mate again. Are you such an animal? Is seven years of grieving enough? I can’t say. Grieving is such an individual thing. What I can tell you is it is time for you to bring this concern to a professional for help. I suggest that you seek the help of a qualified sex-positive therapist, someone who is well versed in both sexuality and grief counseling. It’s imperative that you address this issue as soon as you can. Don’t let this go unattended any longer. It will fester and destroy any sexual relationship you will try to establish in the future.

Good luck!

Name: Lenore
Age: 28
Location: IL
Whenever I have sex with ANYONE (it could be the hottest guy on the planet) I have to ALWAYS imagine I am with someone else from my past. The guy in question was the first guy I ever had sex with. We only did it once and I never saw him again after that. I was 17 in high school and he was 23 in the navy. Now if I don’t imagine this guy I can’t achieve orgasm, no matter how GOOD the partner I have is making me feel. I’m having a good time, I lubricate like crazy, but when it gets right down to it, I HAVE to think of this guy or no orgasm.
Can you give me some advice on this?

Are you suggesting that what you describe here is a problem? Or are you just making a point and asking me for my thoughts on the matter? I hope it’s the later, because I

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don’t see that your fantasy life is getting in the way of you enjoying your sexuality. On the contrary, your fantasies are enriching your sexuality. You’re able to fully enjoy sex, even to orgasm…with the help of your recollections of the guy who popped your cherry.

As to what goes on in your head during sex, well that’s no body’s business but yours, unless you want to tell your partner what’s on our mind. Everyone enjoys sexual fantasies as an integral part of their sexual expression. And rarely do those fantasies include the person right there bumpin’ parts with the person doing the fantasizing. There’s nothing wrong with that, don’t ‘cha know! I mean, why would you want to leave your largest sexual organ, your brain, unstimulated when your pussy is having such a good time?

Why not just enjoy what works for you?

Good luck!

Name: Kevin
Age: 30
Location: Delaware
I would like to know why gay men and lesbian woman have fetishes (turned on by a certain body part). I’m turned on by feet and by men wearing all01010801150101031020071202061df1a0067a5a44f400c442.jpg types of boots and all types of sox please reply with answer thanx

Ya know, Kevin, fetishes are not just a gay/lesbian phenomenon. Every kind of person may have fetishes.

Fetishes come in all sizes and shapes; body parts, clothing, hair color, (racial fetishes…as we will see later) particular sex acts, sex toys, to name just a few. There are a few plausible explanations for these behaviors, but the one I prefer is that we learn our sexuality. All the things we eroticize — in your case feet, footwear and sox — are learned behaviors. I suppose that if you had the time and energy to retrace your steps, as it were, you’d find a specific time and place when you began to fetishize these things. The people who study human sexuality say that there is a pleasurable connection of one sort or another with everything we find erotic. Some fetishes develop later in life, some start when we are children or even infants.

Good luck!

Name: Mura
Age: 22
Location: Japan
I am 22 year old. I like and love strong and humor and good-looking male man. When saw the man like those, my cock is becoming hard and want to have sex. Frankly speaking, I like and love black Actors of USA Will Smith and Denzel Washington. When I watch their films, I do my cock by myself. I feel it s very nice. But I also think that it is not good. But I can’t control myself. I don’t know how to do. Please tell me your advice.

Lots of us share your sexual fantasies of black American actors.

— Denzel! Denzel! Denzel! Oh baby, oh baby, you make me so hot! —

And those that don’t share your (our) fantasy have other beloved fantasies of their own, just like Lenore and Kevin above you. There is nothing wrong with that. Masturbating to sexual fantasies is good and healthy. It will help you learn about your

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body. Enjoy yourself. Try not to think of yourself as having a problem. This is all very natural.

Good luck!

Name: Jose
Age: 27
Location: Miami
Dear Dr.Dick, I’m been having a problem for a long time I’m a goodlooking guy that works out, healthy, professional but I have a problem I can only have sex with men of color only I fantasy about it everyday till the other day I call an escort service and finally I did it but now I’m worse still having more fantasies everyday and I don’t know if this is an addiction problem or what, I try white guys but they do not turn me on at all and by the way I’m Latin, can you please advise.

Why do you think there’s a problem with your sexual preferences? It sounds like you’re doing fine, you’ve discovered that you’re into men of color.

— Denzel! Denzel! Denzel! Oh baby, oh baby, you make me so hot! …WHOOPS, I THERE I GO AGAIN…

No need to apologize for that. Why not just enjoy yourself…and the luscious black men that we love so much?

Good luck!

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