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Give it to me straight!

Name: Darren
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location: Long Beach
I’m a 24-year-old straight male. On my second tour of duty in Iraq, I took some shrapnel in my back on account of an IED. I’ve been in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down, ever since. I come from a very strict religious family so I never was sexually active before the marines. Now I’m back at home, and while my parents are great caregivers, I can’t talk to them about this. I’m afraid that I won’t ever get to have sex, but I want to. What should I do?

Tough break, pup! As if the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan weren’t bad enough, there is all this collateral damage to our brave and valiant service people. Damn. If we, your countrymen, don’t owe ya’ll every possible assistance, accommodation and convenience I don’t know what!

I’ll admit, your family’s religious scruples, coupled with your spinal cord injury, makes for a pretty daunting double whammy. So let’s start with some basics. Lots of people automatically think that a person in a wheelchair can’t have or is uninterested in sex. Your parents probably think this. They probably also believe that sex is only for married people and since you aren’t married and you’re in a chair, there’s no good reason to discuss the matter further. I encourage you not to sink to the lowest common denominator on this.

I suspect that since you still have a healthy interest in sex, and you want to get laid at some point…hopefully real soon. All we have to do is figure out a clever work-around to your current living situation. To that end, I have some questions for you. Are you afforded any private time and space in your parent’s home? Are you are getting some physical therapy at the veteran’s hospital or elsewhere? Are you in a spinal injury support group? Do you have any social outlets, other than the medical related ones? Do you still have some jar-head buddies who could swing by and pick you up and take you out?

The reason I ask all these questions is that, despite your disability, you’re gonna have to forge your own independent life away from, and out of the control of your parents — good people though they are. Many care-providers, despite their best intentions, have a tendency to smother the people they are caring for. Don’t let this happen to you. The only way you will find the fuck you are looking for is if you assert your independence. This move toward independence may have to happen incrementally, but you gotta get started.

Clearly you have access to the interents, or you wouldn’t have been able to contact to me. That’s a good start. The internet tubes is gonna be your best friend for the duration, count on it. Connect with other similarly challenged vets and civilians online. These folks will be a wealth of information for you about how to take the next steps — pardon the pun — toward independent living. If you’re not plugged into an ongoing spinal injury support group, make that happen ASAP. Like I said, these folks will have information and resources that the professionals who attend you do not have, or will not share. If there are any wheelchair fetishists out there, your support group will know about them. And I think you can be pretty certain that there are. You are following me on this, right Darren? Good!

Now, this is where your jar-head buddies will come in handy. Prevail upon them to be your transportation. Parents are good for getting you to and from the hospital and the like, but you don’t want to count on them to get you to a tryst or date, don’t cha know. One thing for certain, when connecting with chicks online or elsewhere you need to be pretty upfront about what you want and need. Remember, you have to compensate for people’s preconceived ideas about sex and disability.

I’ll grant you, this is a fine line to tread — again no pun intended — because you have to be upfront about your desires, but ya gotta do it without being a dickhead about it. You are also at a disadvantage for not having had the opportunity of hone your dating and seduction skills before Iraq. So you’re gonna have to do some remedial work now. In social situations — and you ought to be goin out to places other than hospitals and support groups — project yourself as a sexual being. Put out a sexual vibe. Not all geeky and weird, but as a matter of self-confidence, you’re a marine vet for Christ sake. That should be swagger and bragging rights enough.

And don’t forget, you know something that others may not know. You’re gonna be a freakin’ terror in the sheets, because you gonna be making up for a whole lot of lost time. Make eye contact and smile, be your charming devilish self. Whatever you do, don’t gawk at her tits. They may be pretty as all get out, and the object of your eternal desire, but please, keep a lid on it!

If you are unsure about your skills as a lover or you just need a little tutorial on how to please a woman, my I suggest you connect with a pro — ya know a sex worker. That’s right, it’s a time-honored way for guys in the service to lose their cherry. And you’re still sorta like in the service, right? Nowadays, connecting with just the right provider has never been easier, thanks again to the internets. See, I told you that the internet tubes was gonna be your best friend for the duration. Seriously, I suspect that you have lots to learn about the ins and outs of sex, — my final pun, i promise — so why not see a specialist?

One thing for sure, if you are having a difficult time carving out private time there in your parent’s home, or they are the snooping kind, keep your internet searches on a friend’s computer. You don’t want your parents finding out that you are indeed a sexual being looking to get his freak on. At least you don’t want them to find out till after you’ve established your independence. Because if they pull the plug on your internets before you’re on your own, because they think you are a big fat pervert sexual sinner, you’re gonna be shit out of luck, if ya catch my drift.

Good luck

Name: Mikhall
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: U of M
I’ve been having wet dreams since I was 13. I thought I would get over this by now, but it’s still happening. I’m in college now and I don’t want my roommate to think I’m some kind of freak. Is there anyway to make this stop?

I remember when I was a kid, I couldn’t have been more that 6 or 7, I overheard my older brother telling his friend he had had a wet dream. I couldn’t wrap my head around what he was saying. He was boasting, of course, and it had something to do with sex, that I knew for sure. But why was he so proud of wetting his bed? I was way to self-conscious to ask him about it, so I let my mind just spin out all these fantastic scenarios and boy, were they fantastic. My brother was really cool, so I was hoped I would have a wet dream one day too, but I was also dreading it all the same. Information about sex, when it comes in dribs and drabs like this, can really be confusing.

I finally had my first wet dream a few years later and I was surprised as hell to wake up with sticky wet sheets and PJs. Interestingly enough, I didn’t make the connection between what had just happened to me and what my brother had been talking about a couple of years earlier. So ok, I wasn’t all that swift when I was a kid. But just look at me now!

As I look back, I can’t honestly tell you how I figured the whole thing out. I did, however, discover that wet dreams had a more ominous technical name: a nocturnal emission. That was scary in and of itself.

So ok, here’s what we know about wet dreams. And you can bank in this info. When a guy begins puberty, somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13, he starts to produce sperm. Once that happens he’s able to ejaculate, even though he may not have discovered this on his own, ya know like through jerkin’ off. It is at this point that most guys experience their first wet dreams. While asleep our little boy cock rubs against the mattress or sheets, or we may unconsciously fondle ourselves till we squirt. Since this often happens while dreaming, or because of a dream with sexual overtones, a nocturnal emission is also call a sex dream, or the ever popular dirty dream.

Here’s something you might not know. Technically there is a difference between a nocturnal orgasm (which anyone can have at any age, even as and infant) and a nocturnal emission (which only males have and only after he reaches puberty).

I know you’re a bit exasperated, Mikhall, with the continuation of these pesky wet dreams, but it’s all quite normal and I might add, healthy. You clearly have a very active spooge production system. You’re body is producing an over abundance of spunk, more than you need. And it has to get rid of the excess somehow. Believe me, you really wouldn’t want it stay in your system; it wouldn’t be healthy. Embarrassment aside, you can be grateful that your bod is working properly and in harmony with nature.

Do you recall your first wet dream? Most guys tell me that they thought they had injured themselves, or they somehow got a sex disease. Too bad our parents don’t prepare us for this eventful night. Many kids are so filled with fear and embarrassment that they try to destroy the evidence — getting rid of the sheets, underwear or pajamas. Another confusing aspect of a kid’s first wet dream is the pleasure and arousal he feels. Those of us brought up in religious homes are often filled with shame by this disturbing occurrence.

Those of you who are familiar with Dr Dick’s background know that I was a Catholic priest for many years. I know, scary, huh? I don’t want to go off topic here and discuss my life as a priest now — we can save that for another time. What I want to point out here is that when I was in the saddle, so to speak, I often had the occasion to hear the confessions of young people. It was remarkable how often young men would confess to a wet dream, like if they had committed some heinous crime! What gives with a culture that instills such shame about things that are so natural and outside of our control?

Think of it this way, when your bladder gets full you take a wiz. When your prostate and seminal vesicles get full you take a jizz. It’s as simple and natural as all that. Now, if I were to guess, Mikhall, I’d speculate that, for whatever reason, you’re not masturbating all that much. Right? The reason I think that is, if you were relieving yourself of your joy juice, ya know like beatin’ off, you’d have less of a build up and fewer wet dreams, if any. Do you see where I’m headed with this? The same thing would be true if you didn’t relieve yourself when your bladder got full, you’d piss anyhow, only it would happen when you weren’t able to properly direct it. Get it? Got it? Good!

If you want to cut down on those embarrassing wet dreams, milk yourself before you sleep. This way you can direct your spooge into a proper receptacle, like a Kleenex or a dirty sock — just like all your peers.

I also want to remind you of the current research being done about masturbation. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not, about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20’s. Get this, men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

Good luck!

Wild Things

Name: Terre
Gender:
Age: 54
Location: Nashville
I’ve been in a relationship for over 11 years. For sex, I was always the top; occasionally I would bottom. However, now that I have developed erectile dysfunction, I’m lucky to get slightly hard. I cannot penetrate my partner any longer. I’ve tried reversing roles; however, my partner is no good at being a top/aggressive and I’ve found anal sex much too painful including bleeding and profound pain after only attempting to be penetrated by my partner. What can I do to get over this hump? What other things can I try to maintain sexual balance in my relationship?

Get over this “hump,” Terre? You’re such a punster!

Have you tried a cock ring to keep yourself hard enough to bugger your old man? How about dildo play? You still get to be the top and he still gets to be the bottom, it’s just that you’re using a meat substitute instead of your salami.

And what’s all this about you being unable to take it in your bum? I have written extensively about learning to bottom. Check out some of my earlier postings, especially Liberating The B.O.B. Within. Use the site’s search function in the sidebar to your right; type in “Tutorial for a Bottom” and/or “Tutorial for a Top” and PRESTO! Once you’ve read through those tutorials you can find loads of other helpful hints on the site by clicking on the CATEGORIES section, also in the sidebar; scroll down till you find “Ass Fucking”.

Maybe you need to look at alternative sex practices that don’t involve his rump and your rod? Is ass fucking the only thing you guys can think of in terms of sex play and mutual pleasuring? That seems pretty limiting. How about some kinky power play? That sure enough will keep the sexual balance in your relationship. There’s bondage, discipline, milking, jelqing, CBT, edging, fantasy play, watersports, fisting, flogging, massage, rimming, cock sucking, role playing, group sex and vibrators — just to name a few.

How about hiring a pro to attend to your needs? A hot, hunky escort to fuck your partner and do god knows what to you. You see, darling, just because you are 54 and live in Nashville don’t mean your brain’s gone dead…or has it? Like I always say, if there’s a will there’s a way. And hey, maybe that’s a good place to start. Maybe it’s time to check in with your partner to see what new things he’d like to investigate and go from there.

Name: Gilbert
Gender: male
Age: 53
Location: Ohio
I discovered plushie sex long before I knew there were other people in the world who love their stuffed animals as much as I do. At first, I just cuddled and slept with my special plushie, but then I couldn’t help but show my feelings. I wanted to consummate my love for my plushy. The first time I did this I didn’t do anything to my plushie directly. I simply embraced it while I pleasured myself to orgasm. Now my favorite method of expressing my love is to press myself tenderly into my lovers’ plush fur. It’s a truly exquisite sensation!

Lonely are we, Gilbert? YIKES! Say, is your plushie a girl plushie or a boy plushie? Are you sure your plushie, regardless of its gender, likes having you be so…how shall I say this…intimate? And what about the clean up? You say you press yourself tenderly into the plush fur. Good god; it can’t be all that much fun for your plushie tryin to get all your goopy spooge out of its polyester fur, now can it?

And your message isn’t so much of a question as it is a statement, huh Gilbert? Can I assume then that you just wanted to tell the world about gettin your freak on with your beloved plushie? DONE!

For those in my audience who are unable to fathom plushy sex, here is the 411 on this fetish. Some folks, like old Gilbert here, get started down this path by innocently stroking the stuffed animal over their naughty bits. This, I am told, can be the beginning of an intense connection with his/her plushie. Other enthusiasts aren’t satisfied till there is penetration. This is accomplished by modifying the creature at hand by creating what plushies call a ‘strategically-placed hole’ (SPH) on a said plushie. I suppose depending on the gender of the plushie; the ‘strategically-placed hole’ is either a plushie pussy or a plushie asshole, but I digress.

Some fetishists are on the receiving end of plushie sex. That is they create a ‘strategically-placed appendage’ (SPA) on their long-suffering plushie partner and make the little creature fuck them silly(er). SPA, indeed! I mean, god forbid that we call it what it actually is — a freakin’ stuffed animal with a strap-on.

Beyond the human on stuffed animal sex the plushie world also offers plushie on plushie sex too. Of course these are really humans dressed up as plush animals…I mean from head to toe…REALLY! These enthusiasts are generally referred to as furries. Isn’t that adorable?

There are furry sex parties, the like of which I will leave to your fevered imagination, where there’s no end to plushie perversion. I am told that it’s imperative that participants at these parties stay in character. How do you tell the gender of the furry, you might ask? Girl furries often have a bow in their fur. Boy furries, not so often. Ok, I made that part up.

Anyway, the furry outfits are equipped with Velcro held flaps in front and in back. These ‘strategically-placed flaps’ (SPF) give furries access to a fellow furry’s naughty parts. Full-on humping is proceeded by lots of sniffing and nuzzling…you know, exactly like ordinary animals do…only completely different. This is called yiffing. Honestly! Look it up.

I’ve had only two close-up encounters with real live furries. One was a client of mine. Another I met in an online chat room. The chat room connection was so delighted to discover that I was a sexologist that he could hardly contain himself as he revealed to me every gory detail of his furry sex life.

The guy who was my client revealed his furry persuasion in one of his early visits to my office. You see he was having this deep sexual conflict, and as it turned out, it wasn’t that he was dressing up as a big brown bear to get his rocks off.

Here’s how my client related the story.  “So here’s the deal,” the guy says. “I’ve been completely straight all my life. A couple of years ago when I discovered I was a furry I went to a few furry sex parties. At one of the parties another male furry began sniffing me and making sexual advances. I would have decked him if I hadn’t been in my bear suit. But because I was being my furry-self his advances were like this complete new turn on. To make a long story short, I got it up the ass but good that night for the very first time.”

You see my client was suddenly conflicted not because he was a furry, don’t ‘cha know. He was conflicted by the discovery that, despite being an exclusively straight macho dude out of costume, he was a freakin’ fag furry in costume. And that, my dear audience, is one of the most bizarre things the good doctor has ever heard.

Good luck ya’ll!

We are what we consume!

Name: Norm
Gender:  Male
Age: 27
Location: St. Louis
How dangerous is Ecstasy? Are the herbal substitutes any safer?

Good question.  Unfortunately, it’s so hard to categorically say how dangerous any particular drug is; there are so many variables.  For example, aspirin can be deadly to some people.  If pharmaceuticals are risky, you can be sure that street drugs are way more so, because you never know how adulterated they are due to careless processing.

Simply put, everything we ingest comes with some risk.  The spinach salad you’ll have for lunch could kill you.  Inevitably, it comes down to the individual.  Is the alleged thrill worth the risk?  Sometimes that’s an easier call than at other times.  My rule of thumb is the more organic the substance and the fewer chemicals involved the better.  But there’s always the possibility that a person will have an adverse reaction to even the purest most organic active ingredient.  So beware.

Ecstasy is an amphetamine that has been chemically altered to give it its hallucinogenic property.  Researchers believe it is potentially toxic to the brain and persistent use can cause serious liver damage. At the same time, ecstasy is being used to help ease dying cancer patients deal with the end of life.

So-called herbal substitutes consist of a variety of compounds. Some of which have been associated with liver inflammation. All of these substitutes have some sort of compound that causes what is known as sympathetic stimulation, because it stimulates the sympathetic nervous system. This results in a state of heightened excitability. Specifically, they increase heart rate, body temperature, and blood pressure, and have an effect on muscle tone. This is the same phenomenon that causes a sense of hyper-alertness or the fight or flight response.  Of course one can say the same about caffeine.  Regardless of what the compound is, when you alter your normal physiology and cause excessive stimulation, there will be a price pay.

Drugs, like sex, allow us to transcend ourselves.  At their best, they distract us form the ordinary day-to-day stuff so that we can focus on what’s happening right in the moment.  Both drugs and sex can give us a peak experiences, but they can also devastate. Our ego boundaries go down, but that can leave us vulnerable at best and paranoid at worst.  We can have a heightened sense of connectedness, or a keen sense of isolation.

If it’s a good sex or drug trip, we want to chase the experience longer than we should.  We go to great lengths to postpone the return to the humdrum of daily live.  This relentless pursuit, more often than not, leads us out of bliss and into despair.  Just ask the addict that is looking for just one more hit.

Some people report that ecstasy increases their self-confidence and their ability to connect with others.  It can make sex seem otherworldly. But ecstasy, while increasing our desire for sex, also diminishes our ability to perform. There’s nothing more frustrating than wanting to fuck, but being unable to because of a limp dick.

That’s why lots of party boys mix drugs like Viagra, or another erection educing pharmaceuticals with their Ex.  However, this can be a fatal combination.  Also, men under the influence are much more likely to think with their dicks, which is a prescription for risky sex. Sex under the influence can also get a whole lot rougher than one anticipates, because we’re unable to process physical sensations like normal.

Finally, there’s the basic law of physics.  What goes up must come down.  Remember, the higher the high, the lower the low.  Count on it!

Name: Trisha
Gender: female
Age: 22
Location: Galveston
I want to surprise my BF with a special anniversary dinner.  We’ve been dating for two whole years and just moved in together.  I want to make something special and sexy.  Got any ideas?

Ahhh yes, as we all know, the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach…or is it his zipper?  Well, whatever!  I’m assuming that you want this little repast to be a prelude to some hot monkey sex, right?  I love the sound of that!  In ever culture I know of, sex and food have always been intimately linked.

There are a variety of foods that arouse feelings of love and that do wonders for one’s romantic life, at least according to one or another culture.  Everything from black beans to cabbage, from bananas and strawberries to oysters; all have been reported to stir amorous feeling in the consumer.  Are they true aphrodisiacs?  Who knows?  Maybe it’s the combination of the loving preparation, the mutual enjoyment and feelings of being full and satisfied that is the big turn on.

People first sought aphrodisiacs as a remedy for various sexual difficulties, especially performance anxiety.  Aphrodisiacs are also thought to boost both male and female potency.  In ancient times nutrition was always an issue. Food hasn’t always been as available as it is today.  And of course, nothing pulls the plug on the libido like malnutrition.  And hunger radically reduces fertility rates.

Our forbearers believed that anything in nature that looked like or represented the male seed, such as bulbs, eggs, snails were considered to have sexual powers. Other types of foods were considered stimulating because they physically resembled genitalia.

Here are a few things to consider as you plan your menu. Greeks and Romans believed aniseed had special powers. Sucking on the seeds is said to increases your desire.  Or maybe it just freshened the breath enough to get close enough to fuck.

Asparagus has a phallic shape.  It’s also fun to feed your lover.  Steamed spears in a pungent lemon dipping sauce will make for a sensuous experience.

Almonds have been a symbol of fertility throughout the ages.  The aroma is thought to induce passion in a female.  Arugula or “rocket” has been considered an aphrodisiac since the first century A.D.  This ingredient was added to grated orchid bulbs and parsnips and also combined with pine nuts and pistachios for a full-on erotic feast. Try an Arugula salad or use it in a pasta sauce with basil another herb said to stimulate the sex drive and boost fertility.

The Aztecs called the avocado tree the “testicle tree” for obvious reasons. The fruit hanging in pairs, as it does, resembles a man’s balls. Serve this fruit with its sensuous texture in slices with a small amount of Balsamic vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

Bananas have a marvelous phallic shape.  But from a more practical standpoint bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessities for sex hormone production.

The Aztecs referred to chocolate as the “nourishment of the Gods”. Chocolate contains chemicals thought to effect neurotransmitters in the. It also contains more antioxidants than does red wine.  Here’s a tip, combine the two.  Have a glass of Cabernet with a bit of dark chocolate for dessert.

Carrots are believed to be a stimulant to the male. The phallic shape has long been associated with stimulation since ancient times.  Early Middle Eastern royalty used carrots as an aid to their seductions.

The book of The Arabian nights tells a tale of a merchant who had been childless for 40 years and but was cured by a concoction that included coriander. Cilantro is also known as an “appetite” stimulant.

Fennel, like anise, was found to be a source of natural plant estrogens.  Use of fennel as an aphrodisiac dates back to the ancient Egyptians.

An open fig looks like a vagina.  And traditionally it is thought of as sexual stimulant.  A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerful erotic act. Serve fresh ripe figs in a bowl of cool of water as they do in Italy.  Be sure to eat with your fingers!

The ‘heat’ in garlic is said to stir sexual desires. Garlic has been used for centuries to cure everything from the common cold to heart ailments.

Ginger root raw, cooked, pickled or crystallized is a powerful stimulant to the circulatory system. And what is good sex if it isn’t all about healthy blood flow?

The Egyptian believed that honey was a cure for sterility and impotence.  Medieval seducers plied their partners with Mead, a fermented drink made from honey.  Lovers on their “Honeymoon” drank mead and it was thought to “sweeten” the marriage.

Chewing on bits of licorice root is said to enhance love and lust. It is particularly stimulating to women. Mustard, maybe because of its bite, is believed to stimulate the sex glands and increase desire. Chinese women prize nutmeg as an aphrodisiac.  In quantity nutmeg can also produce a hallucinogenic effect.

Oysters are legendary aphrodisiacs.  They of course resemble a pussy, but they are also very nutritious and high in protein.

Zinc is a key mineral necessary to maintaining male potency.  Zinc is also reported to heighten sexual performance in both women and men.  An essential good mood nutrient, it triggers the feel-good brain chemical serotonin. Pine nuts are rich in zinc.   They have been used to stimulate the libido as far back as medieval times.

Pineapple is rich in vitamin C and is used in the homeopathic treatment for impotence. Raspberries and strawberries are perfect finger foods for hand feeding your lover. Both of these luscious fruits are described in erotic literature as fruit nipples.

Tomatoes, known as the “love apple” are considered love food, because they have great nutritional value and their acidity is considered a sex stimulant.

The scent and flavor of vanilla is believed to increase lust.  Fill tall Champagne glasses to the rim and add a vanilla bean for a heady, bubbly treat.

Eating is so much more than just chewing and swallowing.  So don’t forget about the presentation.  Food that is colorful and attractive to the eye gets one in a good mood. The smell of the food cooking exhilarates the senses and sets in motion feelings of arousal.

Good luck ya’ll

3 Hits and A Miss

We’re back with a slew of new reviews.  The intrepid Dr Dick’s Review Crew tackles a mixed bag of treats.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Jada, Ken & Denise, Kevin and Jack & Karen.  So without further ado…

We begin with a couple of new offerings from that gargantuan adult toy company, Doc Johnson.  Here’s Jada to tell us about the first one.

Doc Johnson i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator —— $36.30

Jada
The very first vibe I ever owned was a rabbit vibrator. I got off on it in record time, every time. But it was such a wild looking contraption I never really warmed up to it.

Aesthetically speaking, there’s something about the “rabbit” doohickey that juts out from the vibe’s shaft that I find disturbing. Don’t get me wrong; I understand the reason it is there. For most women, clitoral stimulation is what gets us off. I’m guessing that the 350__1_ivibe-rabbit-vibrator-grape.jpginsertable shaft, which is, strangely enough, usually penis shaped, is a way we tip our hat to the male member, even though most of our vibrator use is by ourselves. Frankly, I’ve never really understood that. I just don’t know too many women who need a penis reminder when we’re masturbating.

This suggests to me that these designs originate in the male mind. I wish there was a way I could substantiate this.

Ok, so from the aesthetics point of view the i-Vibe Rabbit Vibrator doesn’t do a thing for me. But I won’t detract points on that account either. I review the toy on its merits.

Speaking of aesthetics; what I do like about this toy is its packaging. It’s a plastic clamshell that slips inside a frosted oval plastic sheath. It’s a very nice presentation that I find very attractive.

The i-Vibe Rabbit uses 4-AA batteries and they are not included in the package. DISAPPOINTED! The battery compartment is easy to use and it seals shut making the toy waterproof. That’s a big plus in my book.

The keypad controls are pretty intuitive, although I think they should be in the reverse position. Like I said, most women use a vibrator on themselves. Looking down on the keypad, while using it on myself I see the controls upside down.

There are two main utilities — clitoral tickler (the rabbit) and shaft vibration (which doesn’t really vibrate, rather it rotates the beads in the shaft as well as the penis shaped head). There are different speeds and three functions. Frankly, I think all this is overkill.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Next, Kevin introduces us to the other Doc Johnson product.

Doc Johnson Harmony Divine Yin —— $49.99

Kevin
I’m happy to report that I had better luck with my toy then Jada did.

This here is the Harmony Divine Yin (black), which is exactly like the Yang (white), except for the color. It is a multi-speed (3), waterproof vibe with a very stylish shape. Despite having an interesting shape, there is nothing about it that suggests craftsmanship. You can tell immediately that it is mass-produced. There is also a disposable quality about it, which is too bad. Because with a little more though behind this, the Harmony Divine Yin could have been something quite remarkable.Sex_Toys_DJ091511

It is made of hard plastic. I didn’t think I was going to take to the hardness, but I wound up liking it very much. So I have no quarrel with the material used.

The batteries (2-AAA) are easy to install. No batteries are included in the package, which sucks. And the battery compartment is easily closed to create what they claim is a watertight fit. I use it in the shower, but I won’t use it in the bath. I’d just as soon not ruin this by tempting the fates, if ya know what I mean.

Harmony Divine Yin is not very powerful, but I won’t kick it out of bed. The nipple-like button turns it on and cycles through the three speeds. The hard plastic conducts the vibration better than say a jelly toy would; so there’s that. It’s pretty quiet too.

The serious end of Harmony Divine Yin is sort of plug-shaped and is nearly 2 inches in diameter at its widest part. In terms of this being used as a butt plug or a prostate stimulator, it isn’t for the novice butt pirate. However, it’s a nice external stimulator for your taint (perineum) and balls. Because it’s hard plastic, you can sit on it with the pointy end on your rosebud while you whack off. It gives you a nice little buzz. If you’re gonna use it internally; lube is a necessity. Again, because it’s hard plastic, you can use whatever kind of lube you want. This will make the tapered end easier to insert. Not that it’s particularly difficult for those of us who know what we’re doing.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Jack & Karen tell us about a new Tristan Taormino video.

The Expert Guide to Anal Sex ——  $29.95

Jack & Karen
Jack:  “So ya’ll know I’m real new at the whole butt sex thing, right?  I’m still discovering the pleasures that lie within.”
Karen:  “I’ve been dying to strap on one and give this boy a pegging he will not forget.”
Jack:  “It’s talk like that that give me pause.”
Karen:  “Sorry, honey, I was just making a little joke.”DVDVIVID1277
Jack:  “What my foray into anal sex has done for me is give me a greater sensitivity toward women and the invasive sex they have all the time.  I mean, if someone were to fuck me in the ass like I have fucked some women in the pussy, without even so much as a warm-up, I’d fuckin kill them.”
Karen:  “That is an awakening that I wish all men would come to sooner rather than later.”
Jack:  “Anyhow, not to veer too far off topic; I was glad we got this DVD to review.  It really opened my eyes to the pleasures to be had in butt fucking.”
Karen:  “This is a terrific resource for the novice as well as the proficient alan sex practitioners.  International sex expert, Tristan Taormino, talks to a group of (straight) couples about anal anatomy, as well as delvers tips, and techniques of anal pleasure. Her co-hosts, Lorelei and Ariel, demonstrate various techniques as Tristan narrates what they are doing.  There’s even a Q&A period.”
Jack:  “It is both super arousing and very informative.  This is a co-production with one of porn’s biggest companies, Vivid.  So you know it’s gonna be hot.  Unfortunately, and this is a huge disappointment for me; it’s only about women receiving anal.  What, they couldn’t have included some men on the receiving end?  Bummer.”
Karen:  “That is so true!  But that doesn’t diminish the information imparted.  For example, Tristan talks about lubes and desensitizing agents; and that’s applicable to both women and men.”
Jack:  “You get comments from Tristan as well as pop-up tips about the action throughout the feature.  I also liked the way the performers talked about anal sex and why they like it.  This goes a long way in helping demystify what is often a taboo subject for most couples.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, let’s have a little fun with Ken & Denise and their parlor game.  (This is a Good Vibrations Brand Ambassador review.)

Truth or Dare: A Game of Passion ——  $16.95

Ken & Denise
Denise:  “I love games, all kinds of games.  I guess I’m just a party girl at heart.”
Ken:  “I, on the other hand, think most games, especially parlor games are boring.”
Denise:  “Yeah, but this one is different, because it’s like a sex game.”
Ken:  “So we had two of our favorite couples over for dinner last week.  We were all sufficiently socially lubricated, if ya catch my drift.  We plunked ourselves down in front of the fire for a little postprandial toke, when little Mary sunshine over here hauls out the Truth or Dare game!”
Denise:  “What a better time for a little fun?”NAUGHTY_MTL_Truth_Or_Dare2
Ken:  “I’m thinkin’ ‘oh god, do we have to?’  But our friends who are green with envy over our gig on Dr Dick’s Review Crew were like, ‘cool, let’s do this!’”
Denise:  “Luckily, considering the condition we were all in, the game is super simple.  There’s one die that you roll and two stacks of cards — one marked Truth, the other marked Dare.”
Ken:  “The die has Truth or Dare on six of the eight sides.  The other two sides have the word ‘Wild’ on it.  If you roll that, you get to choose either a Truth or Dare card.  Then you can either do the thing yourself or order your partner to perform the task, or you can pass.”
Denise:  “We all got increasingly silly as the game wore on.  If you choose a Truth card, it may read, ‘If you could watch an intimate moment from your partner’s life before your met, what would that be?’ ‘Would you ever buy a private lap dance for your partner?’  ‘What authority figure possesses the most erotic possibilities for you?’  ‘What sensual characteristic or ability do you envy in the opposite sex?’”
Ken:  “The Dare” cards are equally innocuous; however, they often involve props — computers, whipped cream, makeup, etc.  ‘You are the subject of an impromptu erotic photo shoot.  You partner will be the photographer…’  ‘Perform a seductive and enticing striptease to the music of your choice.’ ‘Create a bondage costume using nothing but plastic wrap!’  You get the idea.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

Fabulous Four

Because The Dr Dick Review Crew has been inundated with loads of swell adult products to review, we will be presenting several different toys each week till we relieve the backlog.

Despite it not even being Halloween yet, I know from my forays into the land of retail that holiday gift giving is not far from the minds of a lot of people.  Perish the thought!  So expediting our reviews will also give you loads of gift-giving ideas.  And that, my friends, is all I’m gonna say about that till at least the middle of next month when we launch our annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Madora, Joy & Dixie, Brad and Glenn & Hank.  So without further ado…

There’s something brand-spankin new goin on at Fleshlight.   Here’s Brad to tell us all about it.
Sex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew —— $39.95

The Fleshlight company has been around for a lone time. They make the legendary Fleshlight and Fleshjack. I’m the proud owner of my very own Fleshlight; it is my go-to toy for spankin the monkey. I never get tired of my Fleshlight and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. That’s way I wanted to review their new product: Sex In A Can.large_1759

I am of the mind that foolin’ around with or trying to improve on a great product, an icon even, will sure enough just fuck things up. I just couldn’t see why the Fleshlight people were tempting fate by bring out Sex In A Can. But I promised Dr Dick that I would set aside my preconceived ideas and approach this new product with an open mind.

Damn! I’ll be the first to admit, I was totally off base in thinking the iconic Fleshlight couldn’t be improved upon. Wait, improved is not the word I’m looking for, because Sex In A Can doesn’t really improve on the original design, it just gives the consumer yet another option.

Those of you familiar with Fleshlight will know that every customer can pretty much customize every aspect of the unit he wants to buy. They have several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral”. The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. The insert comes in different colors, and there are several different internal contours for the insert itself.

Sex In A Can is basically just another option in terms of size and shape. Here’s what I mean. Sex In A Can is shaped like a tallboy beer, instead of the traditional oversized Fleshlight shape. It is lighter, more compact, less expensive, yet it has all the features of its big brothers.

There are three brand new “orifice” options — two different pussies (Mmmm, pussies!) and a mouth. Three new insert contours too. Everything else — including the patented Superskin insert remains the same. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a tallboy beer, has removable caps at both ends, as does the Fleshlight. The top cap covers the head of the insert and keeps it clean when your dick’s not in it. The end cap can also be removed for easy cleaning.

Just like the Fleshlight, ya gotta loosen the end cap a bit before you attempt to stick in your dick. Sex In A Can is a whole lot tighter than my stalwart Fleshlight. In fact, bein the hefty-cock brother I am, it was a very tight squeeze. I had to use a shitload of lube just to get me started. Oh, and by the way, you can only use water-based lube with all the Fleshlight Superskin products. Here’s a tip: you adjust the suction created inside Sex In A Can by either loosening or tightening the base cap.

Clean up is a super-easy. A little soap and water will do the trick. But once the insert is dry, you have to dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch, or body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.

My Sex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew, came with the Pink Spread Lady orifice; (Mmmm, pussies!) mini vortex insert; the cleverly designed beer can case; and sample packet of lube.
FULL REVIEW HERE

Sex furniture?  You betcha!  Glenn & Hank walk you around this offering from the amazing folks at Liberator.
Liberator Ramp —— $200.00

Glenn: “Check this out! This is the best thing that’s happened to butt fuckin since the invention of the sling. The Ramp is just one of Liberator’s many sex furniture shapes that are designed to add more fun and lessen bodily stress for whatever kind of sex you have up your sleeve.”
Hank: “Or down your pant leg, as the case may be. We got us a plus sized Ramp and it is covered in black pleather. But you can choose from a bunch of sizes and fabric options.”

200

Glenn: “Pleather is great, because it cleans up fast. And that’s a big plus because our sessions can get pretty messy.”
Hank: “Ok, so what is the Liberator Ramp exactly and why is even better than a sling, or a swing for that matter? Good questions. The Liberator Ramp is a big triangular shaped, sturdy, comfy and solidly made cushion. Ours is 29” X 35” X 12”. And it can be used in a multitude of ways.”
Glenn: “It’s better than a sling or swing, because it’s portable, storable and you don’t have to suspend it from the ceiling, or set it up every time you want to shag. It does stow easily under the bed. It’s perfect for butt fuckin, because regardless of what position you like the Liberator Ramp is gonna make the sex a whole lot better for the top as well as the bottom.”
Hank: “Glenn likes it doggie style. I just bend him over the Ramp and plow away at his ass. It’s easier on me, because his ass is elevated to just the right position for the ass-ult. I can go as deep as possible, because his pelvis is supported by the Ramp. Oh, and ya can’t really do doggie style in a sling or swing!”
Glenn: “Hank is right! I don’t have to arch my back or strain my arms and wrists pressing back against his manly thrusts. But he can still grab my hair and pull.”
Hank: “You joke, but I know you love it deep and heavy. You’re just a dirty little piggy bottom, aren’t you?”
Glenn: “Oink, oink! I do enjoy a furious ride, that’s for damn sure. Ok, so if you want to do another position, all you do is reposition yourself on the Ramp for a little face-to-face action. Like I lay down on the Ramp, with my head at the lowest part of the incline. I scoot my butt to the highest edge of the incline.”
Hank: “Again, his ass is perfectly positioned for me to fuck him silly. With Glenn already angled down, I can lift and open his legs with ease.”
Glenn: “My toes are pointed to Jesus, and I’m in fuckin’ heaven.”
Hank: “Oh, the Ramp is great for cocksucking too. I just lay back on the Ramp, in the position Glenn just described, which elevates my hips 12” off the floor. Glenn has all the access he needs to my dick, balls and rosebud. He can service me till his heart’s content.”
Glenn: “Again, there no stress or strain on my neck or back while I blow him. And in this position Hank can grab his knees and pull open his own legs. PERFECT!”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs. They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.

Signature —— $55.00

Dixie: “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade! I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you? Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.”
Joy: “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have. Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other. In fact, it’s beautiful art. And it is GREEN!”
Dixie: “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it. Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.”
Joy: “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.”
Dixie: “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch. Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red. It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.”
Joy: “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft. The ridges add immeasurable fun. Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube. And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”

DCD signature black

Dixie: “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage. Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to them Signature is straight as an arrow. And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.”
Joy: “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE

Finally, Madora, has something fun from Big Teaze Toys to show you.

Super Flower Power: 2 Piece Bouquet —— $29.99

Home; batteries included (triple A), YES! I love it when that happens. Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!sfp-500px

My first impression is that the vibrating part, the center of the flower, is a little hard for me. At least for direct contact with my “flower”. The center of the flower is hard plastic. But I like the soft petals which spread the vibes out from its petals to yours. It’s like a gentle labia massage, which is cool and rare in a vibrator. These are especially nice if you use a little lube on the petals.

I’m starting to get used to the texture and hardness. I actually like it and like the strength of the vibe when I’m using it through my clothes, the barrier makes it not seem so hard and yet it’s still able to convey strong enough vibes right through to where they’re needed. I was thinking it could be fun for when you want to tease your partner right through her clothes. Did I mention these toys are waterproof?

All in all it definitely did the trick but when I really start to get into it, either with the vibe or the little keychain, the soft petal ring pops right off the vibrator. I either hafta kinda hold it on, or stop and put it back on, if I wanna keep playing with that part. So that’s a bummer.

The keychain has been a godsend. I’m on a trip right now and brought it with me and wasn’t concerned about security seeing it, It just looks like a toy. I ended up having cramps and everyone knows an orgasm is the best thing for cramps so I put it to use, you know, for medicinal purposes.
FULL REVIEW HERE

ENJOY

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