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The Erotic Mind of Rick R Reed — Podcast #194 — 03/22/10

Hey sex fans,

I’m happily closing in on my annual Spring Break; at which time I get a well-deserved week off. Glory Hallelujah! I gotta tell, I’ve been going at such a break-neck speed since the new year that the hiatus can’t come a moment too soon. I need a freakin break already.

But before we get to our respite; it’s full steam ahead! We continue The Erotic Mind podcast series today with and outstanding guest. He lives here in Seattle so he mozied on over to mi casa for a little tete a tete. (How’s that for mixing cultural allusions?) I have the distinct pleasure of welcoming a true master of the erotic horror novel, the one and only Rick R Reed.

If you know anything about the contemporary thrillers and speculative fiction market, you’ll know that his name stands out as a beacon of excellence in the genre. In fact, he has been called “the Stephen King of gay horror”. No faint that; I can tell ya! And I’m delighted to report that Rick is not nearly as scary as his novels. He’s a sweetheart and charming as all get-out!

Rick and I discuss:

  • Being a master of the horror and speculative fiction genre.
  • How he writes.
  • Tales Of The Sexual Underground.
  • Writing under his own name.
  • The evolution of the erotic component in his work.
  • Common theme in his work — sexual obsession.
  • The creative life is a difficult life.

As a special treat, Rick will share with us a mouth-watering selection of the fruit of his Erotic Mind. I’ll make your naughty bits all tingly, I promise.

For all things Rick R Reed related visit his website HERE! Or find him on Facebook HERE!

Click on the cover art below to purchase books.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

One last thought, I hope you’re also following my two other interview series, which appear on Wednesdays. One is called Sex EDGE-U-cation — I converse with prominent practitioners, educators and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles. And we investigate the world of fetish sex and kink. The other is called SEX WISDOM — here I chat with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves. I can assure you that these conversations will be well worth the time you spend with us.

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Well then…

Name: Stanford
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Green Bay
I was wondering if you have any suggestions for a homemade dildo?

Do you actually want to craft a dildo yourself? Or is this more a question about what might be readily available to safely bugger yourself with?

If you want to make one yourself, there are several “Make-your-own-dildo” kits out there. You can find them online. They supply you with everything you need to make a latex dildo cast of your own dong. And from that the dildo is made. How fun! But wait, what if you are princess tiny-meat? Cloning your you own willie will satisfy no one, no how. Unless you know someone with a more ample endowment that will lend you his hog for the mold, this is probably not the way for you to go.

A trip to the supermarket might be your next best bet. People have been stuffing fruits and vegetables in every possible orifice for as long as there have been fruits and vegetables…and orifices to stuff. Bananas, zucchini, corn cobs, cucumbers, and well the list goes on and on. One word of caution, make sure that whatever you’re poppin’ in your pooper is long enough that you can keep hold of it while you are workin’ your magic. You definitely don’t want it to let whatever slip past your sphincter and lodge itself inside your rectum. There’s nothing more embarrassing than a trip to the emergency room to have someone fish whatever you got in there out of you bum.

If you’re the least bit competent as a woodworker you could fashion something pleasurable from a hardwood, like maple or oak. The do-it-yourself craftsman will be able to make the exact size he needs and wants. He’ll take pride in sanding, buffing and curing his creation with olive oil before use.

No woodturning tools? Not to worry. A trip to the local Homo Depot may be the answer. Look for wooden dowels. They come in many widths and lengths. Since doweling is often made of a softer wood, the dildo craftsman will be able to round off the top of the dowel using a rasp with relative ease. But because the wood is soft, he’ll have to seal his creation in a smooth varathane or polyurethane finish. Never, ever insert uncured or unfinished wood. Besides the danger of splinters, untreated wood is very porous and you’ll never get the damned thing clean after the first use.

Another word of caution; some people are allergic to various materials or polishes. So test all materials first.

Here’s a dildo-making project just about anyone can do. Make your own beanie baby dildo. You will need several latex condoms, water based lube and whole dried beans or peas. Take a condom fill it with the dried beans and/or peas and tie off the end. Coat the condom with lube and slip it into another condom and tie that one off too. If you want to be super-safe, add a third condom. The beauty part of using dried peas or beans is that, should the condoms break while you’re pleasuring yourself and you lose some of the contents in your love cave, you’ll be able to eliminate them with ease with your next bowel movement. And there’s nothing toxic in dried beans!

But what if you want something more stiff? Building a dildo out of modeling clay might be the answer. You can find this material at your local crafts store. You can be very creative with the shape and size. You’ll also be able to flare the end of the thing so there won’t be a worry of it getting past your sphincter. Before the clay dries, consider pressing dried beans into the shaft for some added texture. Once your new phallus is completely dry you can finish it with a polyurethane seal. However, I encourage you to use a condom over your newly created cock substitute. Even with a sealed dildo like this one.

Name: Heidi & Werner
Gender: couple
Age: 32 & 34
Location: Arizona
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we love each other very much. About five years into our marriage, while on a retreat for couples, we discovered we are both bisexual. As a consequence we gave each other permission to explore our same-sex interests. For the most part this has worked out really well. At this point in our marriage, however, we’d like to move beyond the casual semi-furtive affairs we’ve been having and embrace polyamory. Problem is we don’t know any other people who are living in successful polyamorous relationships. Is polyamory a viable option even for a few lucky souls?

Congratulations on living a successful marriage, especially since you guys are taking such a non-traditional approach. That can’t be easy. I wish there was a way the two you could bottle whatever it is that you apparently have in spades that allows you to make such an honest assessment of yourselves and your marriage. You must be remarkable people. I’m so glad that you took the time to write.

As a matter of fact, I know a bunch of very successful, long-lasting polyamorous relationships. Most are comprised of people already on the sexual fringe — queer folk, currant and former swingers and kinksters. However, they all tend to keep the dimensions of their relationships relatively private. It takes a lot of psychic energy to live polyamorously, exponentially more than in a traditional marriage. This tends to leave less psychic energy for flying in the face of the popular culture. Of course the down side of this is there are, as you suggest, few good public role models for polyamory.

Connecting with other like-minded people is less of a challenge these days than in years past thanks to the marvels of the internets, don’t cha know. And being bisexuals, as you are, my make things even easier. I suppose you know this already, but for those in my audience who don’t, polyamory is not the same thing as swinging. Swinging is more about recreational or sport sex; partners having consensual casual sex with others, either other couples or individuals. Swinging is also generally a heterosexual phenomenon. Female bisexual behavior is allowed and even encouraged. The same cannot be said about male bisexual behavior. This seems like an unfortunate double standard to me, but in this respect swinging reflects traditional sexual mores.

Polyamory, on the other hand, connotes more of an emotional bond, a relationship that exceeds pure sport fucking. But not surprisingly many polyamorous relationships evolve from more casual swinger connections. So let’s not knock that.

If you both are seriously into polyamory you’ll have an easier time of it too. The downfall of many budding polyamorists has to do with the reservations one or another in the couple may have about the lifestyle. The one with reservations may play along for a while thinking that this new venture will grow on him/her, but it doesn’t. Some folks are monogamous and it’s breed in the bone. Others are non-monogamous, equally breed in the bone. Trying to convert one or the other to an alternative way of thinking is simply not gonna happen.

The big bugaboo in any type of relationship will be jealousy. You guys seem to have avoided that poison, and again congratulations. The couples retreat you mentioned my have provided you the communication tools you needed to open yourselves to one another in an honest and forthright way. These communication skills will be particularly useful in forming polyamorous relationships too. Whatever the configuration of your future relationships, all parties must allow for and invite an honest and open exchange about passions, desires and needs. And from time to time each individual in the polyamorous relationship will prioritize these things differently. Expect lots of diversity. For more about this see my friend, polyamorous proDOM, Mistress Matisse’s column HERE!

There’s no “one way” to be polyamorous. Some people express their polyamory by having one primary partnership with one or more satellite relationships. They prefer monogamy with one partner but have an open relationship with others. Some polyamorists live in triads or loosely structured groups. Some people express their polyamory by having all partners and lovers as part of an extended family— raising kids together and taking care of elders together. Strong polyamorous relationships carried a number of my closest friends through the worst of the AIDS crisis in the mid 80’s. While you guys seem pretty clear on what you want for yourselves, you may want to be on the lookout for potential partners with incompatible passions needs and desires.

As we all know, a big part of effective communication in a relationship is exploring and expressing feelings. Another part, one that is often overlooked, is the art of negotiation. How do partners and lovers negotiate for what they need and want? “I want to try something new with someone new.” “My lover and I need some private time.” Mature people are flexible, but they also have healthy boundaries. Giving your partner the freedom to share him/herself intimately with others as he/she desires is easier when it is based on the guidelines that you and your partner agree to first. Of course these will need to be readjusted from time to time as new situations evolve.

A secret to successful polyamory is working to maintain a strong primary partnership, in your case, with each other. The more comfortable and secure you guys are with one another, the easier it will be for you to free one another up for others. When the primary relationship is healthy and safe, the polyamorous relationship will add to the support structure, not diminishes it.

Interestingly enough, not all polyamorous relationships are sexual in nature. For example, one person in the group relationship may have a sexual connection with another, while that person enjoys a platonic relationship with that someone else.

One thing for certain, you guys will have to decide what sort of people will be positive additions to your lives. And that will entail a good deal of trial and error. Like my daddy always used to say, “ya gotta walk through a lot of manure before you find the pony.” Remember not everyone who aspires to polyamory is capable of it, nor is everyone one who is capable of being polyamorous suited to be with everyone else who is.

For more about this timely topic I refer you to the two podcasts I did with the insanely marvelous Cunning Minx of PolyWeekly. Look for them HERE and HERE!

Good luck ya’ll

Aunt Becky Returns — Podcast #188 — 03/01/10

Hey sex fans,

Becky Sherrick Harks, as her affable alter ego Aunt Becky, is back with more of what makes her the treasured sex writer, essayist and author of the wildly popular blog, Mommy Wants Vodka. This is Part 2 of our conversation for The Erotic Mind podcast series.

Part 1 of our chat, which appeared last week at this time, can be found in the podcast archive. All ya have to do is use the site’s search function in the sidebar to your right; type in Podcast #186 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Aunt Becky will also share more fruit of her Erotic Mind. We’ll learn why vacation sex is the best sex there is.

Aunt Becky and I discuss:

  • Sex writing essays — cohesive presentation with a punch line.
  • How her writing has changed over the years.
  • Exploring the absurdity of sex and mommyhood.
  • The power of words.
  • Getting off on making people laugh and grossing them out.
  • Her audience and the reactions she gets from her readers.
  • What the future holds for her.
  • Advice for the novice sex writer.

For more of Aunt Becky and her sex writing visit her on her Mommy Wants Vodka website HERE! Or the Toy With Me site HERE! Or look for her on Facebook HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

One last thought, I hope you’re also following my two other interview series, which appear on Wednesdays. One is called Sex EDGE-U-cation — I converse with prominent practitioners, educators and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles. And we investigate the world of fetish sex and kink. The other is called SEX WISDOM — here I chat with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves. I can assure you that these conversations will be well worth the time you spend with us.

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

The Erotic Mind of Aunt Becky — Podcast #186 — 02/22/10

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with more of The Erotic Mind podcast series. Over the last two years we’ve spent numerous hours with talented authors who have talked with us about their erotic short stories or novels. Late last year we began to diverge a bit from that standard fair to broaden our perspective to include another type of sex writing — the memoir. Today we go even further a field to include blogging.

Today I am thrilled to welcome one of my favorite personalities of the blogosphere, the enormously funny and delightfully smutty, Becky Sherrick Harks. She is the remarkable woman behind the wildly popular blog, Mommy Wants Vodka. She also freelances and contributes to other online sites.

Aunt Becky, as she is known online, will read two hilarious selections from the fruit of her Erotic Mind. You’ll be laughing out loud as she skewers modern sexuality.

Aunt Becky and I discuss:

  • How she started her blogging career.
  • Working with a fellow blogger on the Mushroom Printing blog.
  • Launching Mommy Wants Vodka in 2007.
  • The trouble that name causes.
  • Back to school to study microbiology.
  • Family details.
  • Writing under her real name.
  • Being comfortable enough in her own skin to write autobiographically.

For more of Aunt Becky and her sex writing visit her on her Mommy Wants Vodka website HERE! Or the Toy With Me site HERE! Or look for her on Facebook HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

One last thought, I hope you’re also following my two other interview series, which appear on Wednesdays. One is called Sex EDGE-U-cation — I converse with prominent practitioners, educators and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles.  And we investigate the world of fetish sex and kink.  The other is called SEX WISDOM — here I chat with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.  I can assure you that these conversations will be well worth the time you spend with us.

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Puttin on the Ritz

Hey sex fans!

I’m delighted to welcome two distinguished new manufacturers to Dr Dick’s Sex Toy ReviewsVirtuallyAdult and RubyGlass21.  They’ve come up with an exquisite line of glass butt plugs that will both dazzle and delight.

Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug —— $79.98

Dr Dick
Friends, are you tired of not having anything dazzling to wear on those special occasions when you want to look and feel your best?  Ya know, like when you’re runnin’ the Hoover, taking out the trash (rubbish or BF), or pickin out something butch at Home Depot?  Well dear readers, I have just the thing for you.  Lookie here!  It’s a Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, or butt plug if you prefer.  This is no ordinary plug, no siree; it’s bejeweled!  So it will dress up any outfit, or no outfit at all.

That’s right, sex fans, I’m wearing mine now!  Because, like you, I want to have a smile on my face and a spring in my step when I face all of life’s tedious tasks like typing this review, laundering my unmentionables or cookin’ up a mess of grits for the church social.  And the beauty part of this little stunner is that no one would ever guess I’m enjoying a butt-load of delicious pleasure unless they turned me upside down and discovered the authentic Swarovski crystal rockin out where the sun don’t shine.

My Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is a high quality, hand crafted ultra smooth Pyrex glass insertable manufactured by RubyGlass21 and customized by VirtuallyAdult.  The plug features a petite spade-shaped head with a maximum diameter of no more than an inch.  This sits gracefully atop an unusually long 2” stem that finally flares out to make the base, in which is embedded the sapphire-like crystal.  The Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is about 5 inches tall and weighs in at approximately 6 ounces.  I say the stem is unusually long, because most all the other plugs I’ve seen and/or used are squatter.  Now that I’ve tried both, I tend to like the longer-stemmed plug even better than the shorter ones.  And god knows I love the shorter ones a lot.  I’m also thinkin that this lovely would rock out as a pussy plug too.  Imagine the luscious G-spot massage you’d get with each and every step you take.

Everyone has a butthole and the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug is an equal opportunity pleasure plug.  That being said, I want to address the rest of my comments to my fellow prostate owners.  You know how passionate I am about prostate health and prostate self-awareness, right?   Well I am of the mind that every guy oughta own at least one butt plug and use it regularly.  Beside the pleasure it delivers it has verifiable health benefits.

A plug will massage your P-spot and that’s a big part of a maintaining prostate health.  And for us more senior men, and the heartbreak of enlarged prostate we so frequently suffer, butt plug therapy can help there too.  I mean I’m all in favor of toys that have no other purpose than to dispense a good dose of the jollies.  But if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beats the pants off diddlin’ just for fun.  Right?

Those of you who regularly follow our reviews will know that all the Dr Dick Review Crew loves us some glass toys.  They’re gorgeous, of course, but that’s only the beginning.  They are versatile too.  You can warm and chill beautiful art glass toys, like the Crystal Delights Blue Anal Plug, for added sensations.  And you can use any kind of lube you want.  You’ll only need little bit too, because glass gets real slick with just a dab of lube.  The petite head on this baby will slip effortlessly into your bum and stay put for hours of glorious backdoor recreation.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!