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Therapy Available

I’m a Clinical Sexologist in private practice here in Seattle. I’ve been a practitioner of psychotherapy, sex therapy and relationship counseling for over 30 years. I am a sex positive and kink aware helping professional.

I am available weekdays, some evenings and weekends so you can comfortably fit your sessions in around your work, family and social life.

If you would like to talk to someone about your sexual thoughts, feelings, lifestyles and/or experiences then arrange for a consultation at our mutual convenience.

WHAT I OFFER / THERAPY, COUNSELING, CONSULTING or COACHING SESSIONS
I provide therapy in a variety ways —

  • on the telephone
  • online
  • in person

All sessions are 60 minutes in duration. Telephone and online appointments are paid for in advance via Paypal.

Here’s a bit more about the way I work.

I don’t believe therapy should become a lifestyle. Thus, my therapeutic intervention is short term, goal directed and personally liberating. I generally contract with my client(s) for four, six or eight visits (clients of course can terminate at any time). This way we build in an automatic termination date, keeping all of us focused on the goal and honest about the progress we’re making. And, more importantly, the end is always in sight. Rarely do I see client(s) for more than eight session in a row. If my client(s) doesn’t have what he/she/they need to work independently on the problems he/she/they face by that time, then I didn’t do my job properly.

I also firmly believe in at-home-work and journaling. These things keep my client(s) integrated and involved throughout his/her/their with me. Our time together will be concentrated, so there will little time to waste…either yours or mine.

My fee is $110 per session. I do, however, offer a sliding fee schedule for those who have need of that.

You’re welcome to contact me for an appointment if you’d like to move forward with this. You can reach me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

TELEPHONE
Some people find it easier to talk about intimate aspects of their life over the phone rather than in person. Access therapy from the comfort and privacy of your own home, car or office. Telephone therapy helps get round geographical, transport and mobility issues.

ONLINE
I can also provide my services via the most commonly used chat and message platforms such as Skype, Yahoo Messenger, etc.

SCHEDULE THERAPY
To book your therapy session(s) email me your preferred date and time dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com. We will then arrange your preferred payment method. Sessions can be made in block bookings or singly whatever suits your budget and commitments. Early booking is advisable.

CANCELLATIONS
A 24 hours notice is required from the client to cancel or change a booked appointment time. Clients will not be entitled to a refund or an alternative appointment if a cancellation is made with less than 24 hours notice.

PUNCTUALITY
All sessions will start and end at the agreed time. Late calls or visits will result in a shorter consultation. All consultations are by appointment only.

SERVICES
Clinical services cover a full range of sexual heath concerns including:

— Guilt associated with religious upbringing or training.
— Sexual trauma and/or sexual abuse
— Conflicts or sexual dissatisfaction between partners.
— Ejaculation and/or erection concerns.
— Orgasm concerns.
— Sexual orientation/lifestyle preference.
— Sexual inhibitions.
— Socio-sexual skills.
— Sexual misinformation.
— Love and sexuality.
— Jealousy and possessiveness.
— Poor body image.
— Unsatisfactory sexual outlet.
— Safe-sex concerns.
— Sexuality and illness or disability.
— Sexuality and grieving.

My practice combines the best of a short-term cognitive behavioral therapy model with a compassionate, person-orientated counseling technique. My purpose is to help clients come to terms with their sexual problems and conflicts as these relate to their own life values, expectations and goals.

My services are open to individuals, couples, families and groups, of any sexual persuasion, who have sexual concerns. I am available for lectures, workshops, and in-service training.

BACKGROUND
Since the completion of my doctoral studies in 1981 I have been involved in a wide range of sexological activities including counseling, teaching, lecturing, writing, publishing, video production, in-service training and facilitating groups and workshops.

I’ve been writing this online sex advice column for well over fifteen years now.
I am the founder and former Executive Director of the nonprofit organization, PARADIGM; Enhancing Life Near Death — an outreach and resource for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder and dying people.

My therapeutic training includes The Institute for Advanced Study in Human Sexuality San Francisco, The University of California, San Francisco Human Sexuality Unit, and The Pacific Center for Human Growth, Berkeley.
Besides my sexological training I carry a Masters degree in Theology from the Jesuit School of Theology, Berkeley.

I am Board certified by The American College of Sexologists, The American Board of Sexology and The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.

Richard Wagner, M.Div., Ph.D., ACS





Meat Substitutes

Hey sex fans!

And now for something completely different! It’s Product Review Friday and instead of reviewing a sex toy sent to us from a manufacturer or retailer we’re gonna make our own sex toy. That’s right; thanks to our friends at Empire Labs we’re gonna make some vibrating dildos.

Dr Dick Review Crew members Glenn & Hank and Ken & Denise will show you around the two kits we got.

Clone-A-Willy Kit Original —— $39.95

Glenn & Hank
Glenn: “What’s more fun than buying yourself a sex toy? Making your own, that’s what.”
Hank: “Glenn nearly wet himself when he caught sight of the Clone-A-Willy Kit. He can’t help it; he fancies himself a regular Martha Stewart. I swear this man can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
Glenn: “Awww, see how you are? Isn’t he sweet? It’s true though, I got an instant hardon thinking about cloning Hank’s willie.”
Hank: “At first I thought, damn, my hog ain’t gonna fit in that tube. But it did and the rest is history.”
Glenn: “Hold on there, big fella! We didn’t even tell them what happened.”
Hank: “Yeah, sorry, I got a little ahead of myself.”
Glenn: “If you don’t mind me quoting from the Empire Labs promotional materials. The Clone-A-Willy’s medically tested molding gel process captures incredible, life-like detail, making this the most personalized vibrating sex toy you will ever own. Each kit contains everything you need to create an exact replica of any penis in the comfort of your own home.”
Hank: “There are several things you ought to know from the get-go. First, you must follow the directions exactly as presented. Second, it’s essential that you have everything near-to-hand before you start to mix any of the ingredients. Third, if it’s your cock that’s getting molded, you will have to maintain an erection under some stressful conditions; like ‘hurry up and wait!’”
Glenn: “All very good points! I will add that the process can get a little messy. If you’re anal retentive like me you will want to use disposable plastic containers to do your mixing. And be sure to cover your countertop and floor with some plastic sheeting. I used some leftover plastic painting tarp that I draped over the counter and on to the floor.”
Hank: “While Glenn was busy in the kitchen I put on some porn and stretched out on the couch. I slipped on a snug cock ring and started to pull my pud using a little water-based lube. I wanted to make sure that I was at full-mast for my big close-up.”
Glenn: “Once I had everything set up I called for Hank to join me. He had this sheepish look on his face, but he also had a raging hardon. I think he was afraid that he would lose his wood before the mold was set. I assured him we’d work fast. Well actually, that’s precisely what you have to do…work fast. We trimmed the plastic tube to the right size. I mixed the molding powder in water and filled the tube. Hank plunged in his dick and we held it there till the mold set.”
Hank: “The anticipation was the worst part. But it’s over almost as fast as it began. I think it only took a minute for the mold to set. I pealed off the excess molding material, twisted the plastic tube a bit and out popped my cock; no worse for the wear.”
Full Review HERE

Clone-A-Willy Kit Glow in the Dark —— $44.95

Ken & Denise
Ken: “We didn’t exactly know what we were getting into with this Clone-A-Willy Kit. It promises a lifelike replica of my dick that would Glow in the Dark. I was game, at least initially.”
Denise: “Yeah, we thought it would be a fun little project full of laughs. Well that’s how it started out anyway.”
Ken: “Since I was the one being ‘molded’, the pressure was on me to maintain an erection under less than erotic circumstances. I tell you, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I have a renewed appreciation for all the male porn stars out there, who seem to have a perpetual bone.”
Denise: “I don’t suppose I helped the situation all that much, because I became increasingly anxious about following the directions for preparing the molding goop. You actually have to have the water you mix with the powder at the precise temperature. And I read a lot of comments online posted by couples who screwed up the process and I sort of lost my nerve.”
Ken: “I suggested that we put the kit away till we were in a better mindset and I wasn’t worried about my boner.”
Denise: “We checked in with Dr Dick about our apprehensions and he told us to approach it alike a game, not a project. That helped some, because Ken and I were beginning to freak out about messing things up.”
Ken: “Dr Dick also suggested that I wear a cockring to help with maintaining my stiffy. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I also decided I’d slip in a little butt plug, because that always gets me going.”
Denise: “I decided to have a glass of wine…ok, it was a big glass of wine. And that helped too; it really took the edge off.”
Ken: “Denise was too busy organizing everything and mixing stuff to help me with my wood. Generally all she has to do is go down on me and I’m as hard as a rock.”
Denise: “Actually he did fine on his own. He’s such a trooper. All I can say is that I’m happy it wasn’t me that had to get turned on under these conditions.”
Ken: “Once the molding goop is ready it all has to be done very quickly. Luckily, I was ready. I sunk my junk into the goop and prayed that I’d hold the erection for the minute or so it takes for the mold to set up. A minute never lasted so long. We like totally recommend that you have something on the floor and the countertop to prevent spill messes.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Batter UP

It’s Product Review Friday! Today, we’re gonna do some winding up before we pitch. That is we wind up our first installment of products from SexToy.com. today. We also conclude the Elbow Grease reviews that we started back in February. See them HERE.

Today’s Review Crew Members: Mick & Chuck and Ken & Denise.

Parachute Ball Stretcher —— $15.84

3 Snap Pyramid Studded Cock Strap —— $7.70

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “We have two great fun toys to tell you about. There’s a Ball Stretcher and a Cock Strap.”
Chuck: “You can use these together or separately. But we want to talk about them one at a time.”
Mick: “First up let’s take a look at this fine Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s the perfect cock and ball accessory and it’s functional too. Cockrings or, in this case, a strap are the first line of defense for erections. I think if more men knew about and used one of these devices there’d be less need for ED meds, like Viagra.”
Chuck: “Mick and I have a big collection of rings and straps between us. We both love the way they strengthen our erections. I’m partial to the strap kind of device, like this Pyramid Studded Cock Strap. It’s easily adjusted for whatever kind of look I’m going for. Say I want a nice hard cock to pound some hot ass. I simply tighten the strap till it’s snug. But if I want to use it as jewelry to dress up my junk like for walkin around a sex club or a play party; well there’s nothing better than a studded cock strap. It beautifully frames your cock and balls.  It has three snaps so it adjusts from 1.75 to 3 inches in diameter.”
Mick: “The black leather and studs are hot! Ya know, I’m seeing more and more younger guys using a strap like the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap on their wrist these days. Is it a fashion statement, or is it just that they want to be prepared for the unexpected hookup that could occur at any time?”
Chuck: “Either way, the Pyramid Studded Cock Strap is great. One thing you should know, however, is that ya gotta keep the strap clean if you want it to look its best and last. Wipe it down with a cloth dampened with warm soapy water and let it dry fully. Oil based lubes will take a toll on the leather if not cared for properly.”
Mick: “Good point!
Now let’s move on to the Parachute Ball Stretcher. Chuck has a set of beautiful low hanging balls. I dig this look a lot. I, on the other hand, was not so blessed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have what I admire. All I have to do is work on it and they will be mine.”
Chuck: “That’s where the Parachute Ball Stretcher comes in. Ya strap the black leather parachute thingy on to your ball sack snug up against your cock. This allows the chains suspended from it to hang free. And this is where things get interesting. With the Parachute Ball Stretcher in place, you can add weights to it; ya know for stretching your nut sack.  No weights come with this package, but it’s not too difficult to find even makeshift weights around the house; and then there’s always the hardware store. There’s a O-ring on the end of the chains that make attaching the weights a snap.”
Mick: “If you’ve never tried ball stretching you’re in for a treat. It is very erotic and it actually works to add some length to how your jewels hang. I get off on this thing big time. The leather parachute is comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. My only caution to you is that you start out slow. Don’t go piling on the weights till you know what you’re doing.”
Full Review HERE

For review purposes, our friends at Elbow Grease sent us a 1 oz container of each of their products —
ELBOW GREASE Hot Light —— $4.75

ELBOW GREASE Original —— $4.75

Ken & Denise
Denise: “Finding just the right lube for anal can be a challenge. We’ve tried several; some work better than others. But for my money, (Actually, the review sample we got was free, but you get the idea.) ELBOW GREASE Original is the best. It’s thick and creamy and it lasts and lasts. It’s the most long lasting lube we’ve tried.”

Ken: “Curiously enough, we’d never tried ELBOW GREASE Original before, because we had never heard of it before. We were talking to some gay friends about this very thing and they couldn’t believe their ears. ‘You’ve never hear of Elbow Grease? That’s impossible. It’s been around for like fucking ever.’”
Denise: “Who Knew? I think it’s a gay thing!”
Ken: “Yeah, maybe that’s it. Anyhow, ELBOW GREASE Original really stands up to whatever you throw its way. A small amount is all we really needed for some big time ass play. Denise loves her toys!”
Denise: “You have to remember that ELBOW GREASE Original is an oil-based lube and it’s not for use with latex condoms. But if you and your playmate don’t have to worry about stuff like that, then have yourself a ball…or two.”
Ken: “This shit is great for those marathon jerkoff sessions us men really love. Well, I do anyhow. Listen, if it can stand up to intense ass play, you know for certain that it will serve you and your palm very well.
Speaking of the hot set up for pullin your pud, try yourself some ELBOW GREASE Hot Light. It’s kinda like the original formula, but it has menthol that heats things up pretty nice. Ya rub it in and in a matter of moments things are warming up in more ways than one. It’s the kind of warmth that you’d experience if you were rubbing skin on skin without any lube. It’s a real treat.”

Denise: “I really got off on this stuff too when I played with myself one afternoon. The warming sensation is not in anyway over the top; as I feared it might be. It’s warm, not burny. I have pretty sensitive skin, so at first I was a little leery of using it internally. But there were no adverse effects, I’m happy to report.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Free Your Mind!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. In fact these are our last reviews before our annual Spring Break. The Dr Dick Review Crew will return on 04/09/10

But before we leave for our moment in the sun, we want to bring you some swell toys with a bit of an edge to them. I keep hearing from people that we don’t review nearly enough fetish and kink stuff. Point taken!

The problem has always been connecting with a good edgy toy company that wanted to send us stuff for review. But I believe I now have that problem solved. We welcome a new retailer — Spartacus Leathers. And they are Pacific Northwest neighbors, dont’ cha know; from Portland Oregon.

Review Crew members Gina & Kevin are back with us and they will show & tell us about these three kinky toys.

Nipple Clamps with Vibrator —— $39.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh it’s been a while since our last review. Great to be back.”
Kevin: “Yeah, and finally some kinky toys, ya’ll.”
Gina: “I was just rereading the first review I did with Kevin way back in August 2008.  I can’t get over how much I’ve changed since then. For one thing, I’ve discovered I have a real kinky side to me. I can thank all those years of Catholic school for that.”
Kevin: “You can say that again. Gina is maturing into a real pervert. I love it!”
Gina: “I’m discovering that I have a preference for the Dom role, but I can also switch for some sub action.”
Kevin: “When I began introducing Gina to BDSM we played with household items — clothespins, scarves, belts, rubber bands and hairbrushes!”
Gina: “But now we have some real stuff. Case in point; our very own set of Nipple Clamps with Vibrator.”
Kevin: “The nipple tweezer clamps part rocks. However, I was completely under whelmed by the vibe part. It had way more of a tickling sensation than a vibration sensation. I felt it actually detracted from the play instead of enhancing it.”
Gina: “I liked this set up more than Kevin did. The adjustable clamps are very nice. Having them being on an 18″ link chain adds to the possibilities. But Kevin is right, not too much zoom in the vibe, but it is very quiet. I think the design would improve if the vibe was a bit heavier and it had more kick to it.”
Kevin: “There was this great unintentional treat though. When I was wearing the clamps I inadvertently dragged the bullet along Gina’s body while I was on top of her. She clearly got more pleasure from the vibe in this way than I did.”
Full Review HERE

Divinity White Leather Blindfold —— $25.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “I love blindfolds! I love the wear them as much as I love playing with someone who is wearing them. Anyone who hasn’t tried a blindfold doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Gina: “I totally agree. When one sense is incapacitated the other senses are heightened. We’ve played with blindfolding one another on numerous occasions. It’s so much fun. However the Divinity White Leather Blindfold is our very first “real” blindfold. It’s made of actual leather and it has a plush blue faux fur lining. They even added three faux gems too.”
Kevin: “It’s like totally over the top girly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Having someone blindfolded and at your mercy is just as much fun. You get to experiment with the elements of surprise and trust in your play.”
Gina: “It fits surprisingly well. It has a wide elastic headband that should fit all but the tiniest of heads and the headband is very comfortable too. That make wearing it for long periods of play time a pleasure.”
Kevin: “Yeah, the fleece lined eye pieces are absolutely wonderful and allow me to keep it over my eyes for hours without any strain at all.”
Gina: “If you’ve never played with sensory deprivation before — especially blindfolds — I highly recommend it. Divinity White Leather Blindfold is a perfect toy for either those who are just starting out or who have a great deal of experience.”
Full Review HERE

V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider —— $18.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Finally I have something exclusively for me. I’m a big fan of cockrings and this V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is great. I love the way it looks and feels”
Gina: “Again, I totally agree. He looks so hot in this thing. Sometimes I make him do the housework wearing only it.”
Kevin: “She’s gonna be an amazing dominatrix one of these days.”
Gina: “Thanks honey! We aim to please.”
Kevin: “This is made of soft oiltan leather and the V-style divider firmly separates my balls while providing the pleasurable and erection enhancing effects of a cockring.
I am blessed with a pair of low hangers, so this kind of cockring is fantastic. The simple snap closure design allows me to adjust the tightness of both the ring and ball divider straps.  Very cool!.
I got the black leather version, but it also come in red leather. The nickel-free hardware made for sensitive skin, is only available in black. I encourage you to spend the extra couple bucks. The snaps will look nicer and last longer too.
The V-style lifts my “equipment” up and out of the way of my taint and asshole.This  clears the path for Gina to terrorize my ass with a butt plug or strap-on on me when she’s blowin’ me. I tell you, there’s nothing finer!
Like I mentioned, the cockring portion does help me maintain my erection allowing me to last longer when we’re fucking.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

IN THE MOOD

Hey Sex Fans!

We came dangerously close to having a fantastic Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast for ya today.  Unfortunately, my scheduled guest had technical difficulties and we had to put off the interview till next week.  Such is life!

In lieu of a podcast, we have some swell Q&A.

Name: Brian
Gender:
Age: 40
Location: Canada
After a guy ejaculates can he have another ejaculation? Like after I cum if I put on a cock ring will it stay hard enough to continue with intercourse and achieve another orgasm? I basically want to cum twice in a row.

Yep, that’s doable.  All depends on your particular refractory period and how turned on you are.  Let’s take a quick look at the male sexual response cycle again, just so we understand what we’re talkin’ about.  Ok?

The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physiological changes that occur as we become sexually aroused and move through to afterglow. The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Both women and men experience these phases of course, although the timing usually is very different for each gender.  In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase will vary from person to person and from situation to situation. That’s why I say cuming twice in a row is doable.  But is it gonna happen for you?  I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, huh?

Ok, Phase 1: Excitement (or the boner stage)

  1. Muscle tension increases.
  2. Heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates.
  3. Our skin may become flushed particularly on our chest and back).
  4. Our nipples may become erect.
  5. Blood flow to the genitals increases, thus the boner.
  6. Our balls swell, our sack tightens, and we may drip precum.  Mmmm, precum!

Phase 2: Plateau (or the strokin’ or pumpin’ stage)

  1. Everything in phase 1 intensifies.
  2. Our balls may pull up into body cavity.
  3. Our breathing, heart rate and blood pressure increase.
  4. Our toes curl, face contorts and hands clench.

Phase 3: Orgasm (or the “yabba dabba doo” stage)

  1. Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
  2. Blood pressure, heart rate and breathing excelerate.
  3. There’s a rapid intake of oxygen.
  4. Muscles in the feet spasm.
  5. There is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
  6. Rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of our cock result in the ejaculation of spunk.
  7. A “sex flush” may appear all over our body.

Phase 4: Resolution (or the “I need a nappy” stage)

  1. During this phase, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and the parts of your body that swelled and engorged return to their previous size and color.
  2. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often, fatigue.
  3. Most women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms.

Men, on the other hand need recovery time after orgasm, this period is called the refractory period.  This doesn’t have to be the end of sex.  Like you suggest, a cockring may prevent your dick from going soft.  But don’t count on an immediate second ejaculation, even if your dick stays hard. Don’t forget, the duration of the refractory period varies and is situational.  It will also increase as we age.

Name: Ivan
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: Spain
I am considering the social usage of Viagra or Cialis to improve sexual performance. Which of the two would you recommend for recreational usage?

I don’t recommend recreational use of prescription drugs, particularly these vascular dilators.  And certainly not when used in conjunction with other non-prescription drugs.  Maybe you ought consider a low-tech solution like a cockring instead.

I hasten to add that I’m not averse to using some drugs recreationally.  But I think that we’d do well to stick to those that are more natural.  The less processing involved and fewer added chemicals the better, in my humble opinion.

Did you know that health officials in the UK and here in the US are investigating reports of blindness among men using Viagra and Cialis?  Why risk that if ya don’t have to.

I’m really concerned with the alarming rise in recreational use of these drugs by younger men, men in their 20’s and 30’s.  And like I said, this is even more troubling when they combine these drugs with ecstasy, cocaine, or crystal meth.  If your young body is having difficulty producing an erection at this tender age, then you need medical attention ASAP.

Besides the risk of blindness, there are several other reasons why you ought not abuse Viagra or a similar drug just so you can have wood that lasts for hours.  Your body will habituate itself to the substance and, in time, you won’t be able to get it up at all without ever increasing doses of these drugs.  This will surely fuck up your cardiovascular system big time.  In fact, you may very well be inducing the very sexual dysfunction the drug is supposed to help.

Consider the person who overuses eye drops or lip balm or any other otherwise innocuous over the counter health and beauty products.  Their bodies stop making the natural substances that these products are intended to assist.  It’s counterproductive and it’s ill advised.  And if this is a problem with relatively harmless over the counter products, you know you are playing with fire when you abuse powerful prescription meds.

Name: Yuri
Gender: male
Age: 20
Location: Russia
I want to make love kisses on my girlfriend’s vagina.  But I never did this.  What can I do?

Love kisses on her vagina, huh? You Russians are so romantique!

I think you are talkin about some good old fashioned cunnilingus, right?  Or as we say here in the US or A — eatin’ out at the Y, munchin’ carpet, muff divin’, pussy lappin’ and what have you.

If your girlfriend is as unfamiliar with gettin’ love kisses on her vagina as you are at givin’ them, you might want to give her a head’s up on what you plan to do.  Ya see some of our women folk are none too keen on the idea.  They have it in their head that their pussy is icky and not for oral consumption.  This is very unfortunate, but it is what it is.  If you think you’re gonna get a lot of resistance from your lady friend, you might start kissing her on the face and neck, then to the tops of her tits, her nipples, and her belly.  This will give her an idea where you’re headin’.  If you’re doin’ this right, hopefully she’ll be so busy enjoying herself she’ll not protest your trip south.

Proceed slowly. Make sure you’re you’re both comfortable. If you’re lying down, you best be on your stomach between her legs so that your string of kisses is as effortless as possible. Have a pillow ready to shove under her hips to raise her a bit if she’s willing to proceed.  If, by the time you get to her pussy, she doesn’t try to stop you, you’re home free.  Basically she is giving you tacit permission to proceed.  Of course you could check in with her and ask if you can continue.  But sometimes, in delicate situations like this, you may be better off keeping the conversation to a minimum.  She might be fine with it if she doesn’t actually have to agree to it.  Women are like that sometimes.

Try scooting her butt to the side of the bed while you kneel on the floor between her legs. This will give you all the access you’ll need.  And hey, don’t go divin’ right in there, for heaven’s sakes.  Take a moment to two to admire the beautiful spectacle before you.  Lordy, lordy ain’t that a sight for sore eyes.

Gently nuzzle, kiss, and lick her inner thighs and the area around her vulva.  With a little luck your gal-pal will be so aroused she’ll begin to guide your head into her snatch.  Lick her outer lips. Run your tongue up and down them. Nibble them gently with your lips. Next, work your tongue in between the outer lips to caress her smaller, thinner inner lips.  Circle her vaginal opening and perhaps dart your tongue inside her cunt.

I hope you know your way around a woman’s genitals, because If you don’t you’ll be bumbling around down there to no great effect.  And, while you may get an “A” for effort, you might very well wreck the moment by being too aggressive on her more sensitive parts.  Her clit is her magic button.  If you don’t know a clit from a hole in your head, do some research before you head south.

Approach her clit very slowly and gently.  Some women enjoy a tongue lashing directly on her clit. Others find direct contact too intense, even uncomfortable. Now is a good time to check in with her.  Ask for direction on how she wants you to proceed.  She may prefer you to circle her clit with your tongue, avoiding direct contact.

If your gal is unfamiliar with this kind of pleasure, she may not  kow to direct you.  If that’s the case, you’re gonna have to ask direct questions like:  Do you want it lighter? Or would you like more pressure? More of this?  Not so much of that?  Soon you will be able to tell on your own by observing her pelvic movements and listening to her moan if you’re doing a good job.  Sometimes the best communication is non-verbal.

While you’re down there, why not employ a couple fingers to spread things apart?  Add a little massage.  Use the tip of your tongue, then the flat of your tongue, then your lips as you move around her vulva.  All three feel a little different and each provide subtly different sensations.  Some chicks love pussy raspberries, you know…

Come up for air from time to time.  Look into here eyes, caress and massage her boobs.  Try slipping a finger or two into her mouth so she can suck them while you’re licking her. Or move into a 69 position and enjoy a little blowjob with you’re eating her out.

You may want to incorporate some ass play too.  Insert a lubed finger into her butt hole.  Just make sure that whatever goes in her ass doesn’t then come in contact with her cunt.  You definitely don’t want to introduce bacteria that can cause a urinary infection.

Good luck ya’ll

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