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Lovin’ It!

Product Review Friday is back again and we have an interesting group of products from our friends at SexToy.com.

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Karen do the honors. So let’s get right to it.

Ultra Harness 2000 For Men —— $80.51

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “We have the hot set up for you! This here is the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men. And I haven’t had so much fun in ages. I know you’ve all heard about strap-ons for women, right? Well this is a strap-on for men. I kid you not!”
Gina: “So you’re probably wondering, why would a guy need a strap-on when he already has his ‘tool’ dangling between his legs. Ever hear of erectile dysfunction? Or say a guy wants to please his partner with a little, or a lot more than what nature gave him. Or say there’s some hot double penetration play in the offing, but only one partner.”
Kevin: “There ya go; took the words right out of my mouth. Actually the Ultra Harness 2000 For Men is a kit. It comes with the three-way fully adjustable all leather harness, which expands up to 44 inches in the waist; a realistic looking 7”x1.75” dildo; and an adjustable or detachable butt plug. They thought of everything.”
Gina: “Although this thing is designed for a man, and they have a version for women, I was able to wear the Ultra Harness 2000 too. But I think it would be cool to get the harness designed for women and decide which I liked best.”
Kevin: “The Ultra Harness 2000 come with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology that uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness. It’s brilliant, really! Plus you can buy an array of attachments and accessories.”
Gina: “Speaking of attachments; we will also be reviewing, the Kong Realistic attachment today too.”
Kevin: “I’m like totally game for new experiences and so even though I don’t have ED, and my cock is a generous size, and Gina is not into double penetration; I strapped on the Ultra Harness 2000 with the dildo that came in the package. You see the harness has a hole in it that you put your own cock and balls through and snap it closed. Then I adjusted the very hefty butt plug and sank it in my ass. This took more time than I expected, because it is considerably bigger than I am used to.”
Gina: “Once he had the whole thing arranged he called me in the room. There he stood with two raging hardons, one of which was dripping precum like crazy. It was a site to behold.”
Kevin: “You can blame the butt plug for all the precum. I was filled to the hilt, so to speak.”
Gina: “We slipped a condom on the dong and Kevin had a ball fucking me with both of his cocks. It was a riot! You should know that I won’t insert a dildo made of this soft material inside me. It’s fun to look at and play with, but I won’t insert it without a condom.”
Kevin: “A condom is a must for any dildo made of this kind of realistic feel material, because this stuff is very porous and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. Oh, and you can only use a water-based lube with this thing.”
Gina: “You should also prepare yourself for the odor that emanates from the box when first opened. It’s a sickly sweet smell that is pretty overpowering. This was another reason that I didn’t want that dong in my box. I insisted that Kevin air the thing out in the garage for a couple of days till the smell dissipated. The off gas tells me the materials used in this toy are probably toxic to some degree. I would also guess that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. So be warned!”
Full Review HERE

Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic —— $39.03

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Hello again. This review is basically a continuation of the Ultra Harness 2000 review we just posted. We decided to review these products together because, well they belong together.”
Kevin: “In the Ultra Harness 2000 review we mentioned that there are a number of different attachments and accessories that you can buy for your harness. Well, the Vac-U-Lock Kong Realistic is one such attachment.”
Gina: “This is one gigantic dong, folks! It’s actually scary in its realistic appearance. It even has faux pubic hair. I know, WTF? And this isn’t even the biggest model they make, but I digress.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right; when I pulled this thing out of the box, I went ‘DAMN!’ It’s made of a soft, lifelike material that makes the Kong Realistic look so realistic. But as we learned in the previous review; that comes at a price. The off gas that you smell when you first open the box tells us the materials used in this toy are toxic to some degree. We also suspect that they contain phthalates, PVC and possibly latex. This is not necessarily a problem, just so long as you don’t use the thing internally without a condom.”
Gina: “That’s right; use a condom when you play with this thing. Not just for health concerns, but for clean up too. The Kong Realistic is made of a very porous material and it can’t be sterilized. And if it can’t be sterilized, it can’t be shared. And you can only use a water-based lube with it.”
Kevin: “So ok, this time around Gina used the harness. The Ultra Harness 2000 we have is designed for a man but she says it fits her too. Attaching the Kong Realistic is easy with the patented Vac-U-Lock technology, which uses a plastic plug to attach the dong to the harness.”
Gina: “The Kong Realistic is so massive I could hardly believe my eyes when I looked at myself in the mirror. No wonder guys with huge dicks think they rule the world.”
Kevin: “I looked at the dong warily too. This would be the biggest thing I’ve had in my ass to date. Would I even be able to do it? I warmed up my ass with a decent sized plug. And when I thought I was ready, I gave Gina the green light. She slipped on a condom and looked at me with an evil gaze.”
Gina: “Ok, are you gonna tell them, or am I?”
Full Review HERE

Silicone Taffy Tickler Water G —— $25.19

Karen
I took the Silicone Taffy Tickler Water G from its packaging hoping against hope that the prickly surface of the toy would be soft and pliable. But my hopes were soon dashed. I wondered to myself; who designed this thing, the Marquis de Sade? And if the Taffy Tickler is really made of silicone as the package says, I’ll eat my hat. It doesn’t feel or smell like any of the other quality silicone toys I own.

The Taffy Tickler is designed as a G-spot vibe, as the curved tip suggests. My only question is who has a tough enough pussy to withstand the insertion of something akin to a scrub brush. I certainly don’t! Not that I didn’t try. Like the good little reviewer that I am, I did try. First I used it externally. Despite being very sensitive in my genital area, I did find that if I lightly dragged the Taffy Tickler over my pussy lips and above my clit, the sensations were pleasurable. Next, while sitting up, I just laid the Taffy Tickler with the vibration on high (it has one of those rheostat sort of controllers) between my legs and against my pussy. This was a very interesting sensation too. It sent shivers down my spine.

But insertion was impossible for me and I like girthy toys! Even with the loads of water-based lube that I used on it; it didn’t smooth the way. The lube just got lost in the crevices and I couldn’t even get the tip fully inserted. This has got to be the biggest disaster of my Dr Dick Review Crew career.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

The Erotic Mind of Laura May — Podcast #218 — 07/12/10

Hey sex fans,

After last week’s swell Q&A podcast, I am ready to get back to The Erotic Mind podcast series. As you know, in this series I chat with noted erotic artists, both visual and literary, from all over the world in an effort to try to uncover something of the creative process involved in this specialized art form. And boy, do I have an extraordinary…and I might add smutty…guest for you to meet today. I’m delighted to welcome Laura May to the show.

Laura May is nothing if she’s not an innovator and she breaks new ground in this series too. She is the first of any of my guests to bring her erotica to us in the form of a diary. She is also the first of any of my guests to bring her erotica to her audience in audio form. Laura May is not only terribly interesting to chat with; she’s also amazingly funny. Brains, talent and a sense of humor; and she is just hitting her stride as an author. So look out world!

And to show you what I mean, Laura May will share with us a tantalizing selection of the fruit of her Erotic Mind. It’ll make you want to touch yourself impurely; I promise.

Laura May and I discuss:

  • Her erotic audio diary.
  • How she hit upon this unique idea.
  • The Creative process.
  • Adding a soundtrack.
  • The cutting edge of packaging erotica.
  • The joys of being rocked to sleep with a sexy story.
  • Establishing tension and character through voice inflection.
  • Meeting guys through Craigslist.
  • Writing under her nom de plume.
  • Her creative life as a child.

Laura May invites you to enter her world HERE! And she’s also on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and iTunes.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Kinky LITE

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we another selection of products for the burgeoning  kinkster. We have our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com to thank for all these toys.

And today we welcome two new Dr Dick Review Crew members — the oh so charming couple —  Rod & Eric.

Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit —— $26.70

Rod
Many years ago I had a boyfriend that liked to use my neckties to tie me to his metal bed frame and have his way with me. Ahhh fond memories of days gone by. So with this rather rousing recollection I was excited to try out the Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit. This kit comes with chained wrist restraints with adjustable cuffs; chained ankle restraints with adjustable cuffs; a leather love mask; 2 hot wax candles; and a leather whip.

From our point of view, the packaging leaves a great deal to be desired. While there was a pretty sexy guy on the front there was only a woman with him. We think the box should show other model alternatives — two guys, or two gals for instance. Or maybe there should be other packaging options that are more inclusive. We thought that just having the one male/female option was off-putting to a big segment of the perspective customer base; like us for example, a gay couple.

Anyway, the description promises that you can act out your darkest desires and take turns role-playing with your lover. That sounded like a plan so Eric and I hopped on the bed and poured out the contents of the box to get started.

The first thing we noticed about Chains of Love Bondage Kit is the smell. YUK! I was a chemist in a former life; and the first thing I thought of was not erotic foreplay, but the need to look for a hazmat bag to dispose of this stuff. It smelled as if someone had just varnished a room full of wood. And given the smell I can tell you it was not MY wood, because the offending odor was a real boner killer! Off gas, the chemical smell I just described, indicates toxicity.

But being the diligent (not to mention horny) couple that we are we persevered. I volunteered for the submissive role. And having in the past enjoyed being restrained I let Eric put me in both the wrist and ankle cuffs. They come with Velcro for quick release in case you forget your safe word or have to make an impromptu bathroom run. Unfortunately, we never had to worry about that. Once the cuffs were in place. I adjusted my weight a bit and in doing so I moved my legs slightly. The “chains” joining the ankle cuffs broke! When I reached down with my manacled hands to investigate this regrettable turn of events; the wrist restraints chain broke too. So much for the bondage concept! Did anyone at the factory bother to test this shit before sending it out to unsuspecting customers?

Additionally the “leather whip” looks like tassels from a little girl’s bicycle that were spray-painted black. This isn’t the least bit erotic; it is, however, a freakin joke. Actually the mask is OK and we did use the two “hot wax” candles during a storm so not all was lost. The rest of it we tossed in the trash to get the stench out of the house. Once we abandoned the Chains of Love Bondage Kit, we put on some porn and got on with the evening.
Full Review HERE

Fetish Fantasy Series – Bed Bindings Restraint Kit —— $38.77

Rod
If looking at the packaging is supposed to tell you anything, you might guess the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit would be fun. Although, as a gay man, I would have preferred packaging that featured a well-hung and muscled guy to inspire me. But let’s not judge the book by its cover.

Getting the Restraint Kit set up is the first challenge, as you have to thread it under the mattress and through the headboard. But after you have it in place it’s easy to conceal the restraints by dropping them down next to the mattress to wait inconspicuously for your next play session. This insures that your maid, your mother-in-law or any other person that may traipse through your boudoir will never know about your dark kinky side.

The cuffs are made of a kind of rubber foam that actually feels quite nice against the skin. They are bound by sturdy material with Velcro for easy-off, easy-on access. My partner Eric volunteered to be “managed” first. I put the ankle and wrist cuffs on him and clipped him in. The first thing we noticed was that, even for the novice, these cuffs are easy to get out of. Then I discovered I needed to adjust the straps to really tighten the thing down. Once I did that I had Eric restrained quite nicely. I should have taken photos!

We then got down to business and I started a little feather-duster torture treatment on my spread-eagle partner and the squirming and straining began in earnest. OOPS! In no time, the flimsy construction of the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit began to show. The stitching holding the straps to the cuffs stated to tear as Erik writhed in tormented pleasure. At the end or our little session he was still restrained, but just barely. I am certain those cuffs won’t last for even one more session. That’s disappointing.
Full Review HERE

Weighted Nipple Clamps —— $12.50

Rod
OK I’ve really got to slow down on all these product reviews or I’m going to have to take a couple of days off work!

Now I LOVE to play with my nipples; I love others to play with them too. Hell I’ve even been known to stand close to the only other person on the elevator just to rub them against someone. (I’m very popular in my apartment building!)

I’ve always wanted to try some nipple clamps, but I never got around to purchasing a pair. Imagine my delight when I got this set of Weighted Nipple Clamps to review.

I took a look at the packaging. I scratched my head in disbelief as I looked at the buxom lady model on the insert. I can easily see how these Weighted Nipple Clamps would work on someone with her endowments. But as I looked south, to my own chest, I wondered how in the world were they going to work on me. And get this; they are advertised as “Fully Adjustable, Non-Tarnishing, Weighted Jewelry”. Jewelry, really? I mean, who considers these jewelry? I wonder what my mom would think if she got these for an anniversary present? OK, I suppose everyone has a different notion about what constitutes bodily ornaments.

At any rate, with just the slightest trepidation I shucked my shirt and began to fiddle with the Weighted Nipple Clamps to see how they worked. The clamps are metallic with plastic coatings on the clamp ends. The clamps have setscrews that allow you to adjust the tension of the clamp. The two clamps are connected by a chain and the weight is connected to the middle via another chain that hangs down about 6 inches.

I didn’t want to start off in too much pressure, so I adjusted the setscrews out quite a bit and attached the clams to my nipples while I was lying down on the bed. The pressure was very nice and I immediately started to get a rise a bit further south! Thinking that I’d like to add a bit of tug to the pressure, I slowly stood up and let the weight start to pull on my nipples.

Given that I am not as endowed in the nipple department as the full-figured female model on the package, the tension of the clamps on my nipples was quickly overcome by gravity and the weight pulled the clamps from my nips and the whole thing fell on my toe! OUCH! Did I mention the weight is not insignificant? So after hopping around for moment and using a couple of expletives that caused the cat to run from the room I decided to give it another go. I adjusted the setscrews for a tighter fit and reapplied the clamps. This time the weight held for a bit longer before the clips slipped off my nipples. I couldn’t seem to get the pressure right. If the Weighted Nipple Clamps was tight enough to support the weight then they were way too tight on my nipples. And if the clamps were pleasurably tight on my nipples; then look out feet!
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

WET and Wonderful

Hey sex fans!

Today’s Product Review Friday brings you the balance of our reviews of the WET products we received earlier in the year.  As you recall, we reviewed a whole bunch of their products back in May. You can see the Dr Dick Review Crew comments HERE!

I’m delighted to have the honor of introducing you to the remaining three WET products, two of which are not personal lubes.  I love it that they are branching out.

WET Gellee —— $8.74

Dr Dick
Water-based personal lubes are notorious for drying out too quickly, at least as they compare to silicone-based lubes. And when a lube dries out during use, it tend to become sticky. I hate when that happens! Problem is if you’re using a condom and/or playing with a fine silicone toy; ya can’t use a silicone-based lube.

Water-based personal lubes are also less viscous then their silicone-based cousins. Less viscosity means the lube will be runny and less likely to stay in place. This can be frustrating, messy and wasteful.

But wait! Our friends at WET have come up with a very nice solution to these nagging problems. They call their product — WET Gellee. This is a new product for WET. They’ve successfully made a hypoallergenic gel-type water-based lube that is silky smooth; more long-lasting; doesn’t get sticky; way more viscous than the traditional runny liquid formula so it stays put longer; and there’s less of a mess when using it. WET Gellee isn’t as likely to drip all over your bedding, furniture, carpet or car upholstery. Wait, car upholstery? Come on; let’s face it, not all fucking happens in the bedroom. And WET Gellee is non-staining, which makes it perfect for all those non-traditional sex situations…the dining room table, pool side, Aunt Millie’s powder room?

I was happy to receive the non-scented original formula of WET Gellee. They also have a Kiwi Strawberry flavor, which would have been way over the top for me. I prefer my lube to be flavorless, thank you very much. However, there is a hint of sweetness, even with this non-scented original formula. But these formulas are completely sugar-free, which means most people can use them internally without reservation. But, if you are allergic to sucralose, you’ll want to look elsewhere for your lube.
Full Review HERE

Inttimo Tranquility Aromatherapy —— $12.17

Dr Dick
I’ve been an avid practitioner of massage and bodywork for ages. I guess you could say I know my way around a massage table. However, finding just the right massage oil or lotion is not nearly as easy as kneading out the knots in someone’s body.

I’ve tried dozens and dozens of different products over the years and while I’m particularly fond of the Vitamin E and Aloe Vera-based massage lotion that I whip up in my own kitchen, I am always on the lookout for an exceptionally fine massage oil as a compliment to the lotion I use.

I am happy to announce that, thanks to my friends at WET, I now have what I’ve been searching for — Inttimo Tranquility Aromatherapy.  It is the ideal massage oil to use along side of my special recipe massage lotion. So yay for that!

Inttimo Tranquility is another new product from the masterminds at WET. It’s a very light, pleasantly fragranced massage oil that can also be used as a bath oil. I am so glad to see them branch out from their more familiar line of personal lubricants.

Inttimo Tranquility is long-lasting, but never greasy. It has a nice, but not overpowering scent. This one contains bergamot and ginger; aromas to balance, instill composure and relax the body. But there are three other aromas to choose from. And a little goes a long way. It feels beautifully on my hands and on my client’s skin.

It comes in a nicely shaped plastic bottle. I got the 4oz size for review, but it also comes in an 8oz size. Despite the attractive bottle I wound up transferring the contents to an empty pump bottle I had on hand. The screw top of the original container is not convenient. It’s a bother to have to open and close it with each application, but you’d be foolish not to. The bottle could easily tip and spill and that would make a huge mess. If I had one suggestion to make to the manufacturer it would be consider adding a pump to the packaging.

Again, I loved the consistency of Inttimo Tranquility; not too thin, not so thick, it’s just right. It distributes on the body very evenly and it easily absorbs into the skin. There’s no residue to stain either my massage linens or my client’s clothing.

Inttimo Tranquility contains almond oil, aloe vera juice, vitamin E and A, hemp seed oil, avocado oil, kukul nut oil, and sunflower oil. It’s very good for your skin. It’s great for erotic massage too. But it’s not recommended for use with a condom.
Full Review HERE

Inttimo Shave Cream —— $9.99

Dr Dick
I have the pleasure of introducing you to my new product of choice in the shaving department. Say hello to Inttimo Shave Cream, another innovative product from the good folks at WET. I mean it just figures that a company known for their premium personal lubes would bring to market a superior shaving cream. All I gotta say is; what took you so long?

If you’re prone to razor burn, ingrown hairs and/or shaving bumps Inttimo Shave Cream is the ideal product for you. Now I know that WET created this formula to enhance and safeguard intimate shaves, like bikini shaves, legs, underarms and manscaping, but is it’s as practical, if not more so, for every day facial shaving.

It’s enhanced with aloe vera, vitamin E and jojoba oil; it doesn’t contain parabens, but there is glycerin. I have pretty sensitive skin, but I didn’t experience any irritation when using Inttimo Shave Cream and my skin fells fantastic after each use. A small amount covers a large area and coats the skin nicely. I really like it because it’s not dense like shaving foam. This is a good thing because my razor just glides along, it didn’t clog my razor and it rinses off my razor easily.

I’m happy I got the unscented formula for review, but for those who want/need some fragrance they also have a Forbidden Fruit formula. (I wonder, what fruit is forbidden these days?)

I really like the plastic squeeze tube container. It has a flip-up top that is very convenient and you don’t have to worry about rust stains that so frequently accompany traditional metal shaving cream cans.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Who’s up next?

Name: Sofia
Gender:
Age: 54
Location: Arizona
You are sick Dr DICK! I believe that porn is a sign of weakness in men and women. They cannot control their need and put their personal relationship in harm. Its degrading towards women and it gives off the wrong message to men about women. Porn is very harmful in peoples daily lives. Relationships come to an end because of men’s porn addiction. Men have lost families, wives, girlfriends etc. because of porn. Men find themselves defending it so much that they end up losing the people in their lives who do not agree with it (wives, GF, BF, etc.) What does porn leave them? Nothing! Lonely nights with no one by their side and a PC full of nasty images. Porn leaves men lonely and pathetic. Men are destroying their lives to make a porn filmmaker more wealthy. What a great exchange.

So nice of you to drop by, Sofia, and thank you for being so solicitous about my health. Yes, I was sick, I had a little cold there for a couple of days, but I’m much better now.

Oh wait, you’re saying I’m sick because I don’t share your repressive opinion about pornography. I get it; you’re another moral crusader who needs to denigrate those who don’t share your beliefs. What is up with that?

Ya know the thing is, darlin’, I actually share many of your concerns — a lot of porn is harmful and exploitative. It also can be very disruptive to people’s lives and can cause serious damage to otherwise healthy relationships. I mean how difficult was it for you to come up with that critique? Taking pot shots at porn in this sex-negative culture is like shooting fish in a barrel. Get over yourself, girlfriend.

And ya know what else, ma’am, all the things you accuse porn of — being harmful and exploitative, disruptive, damaging to otherwise healthy relationships — you could say about the worst aspects of organized religion, the fast food industry, our government, the credit card industry, the pharmaceutical industry, the medical industry, the war machine and it’s horrific profiteers, like Halliburton. And what about BP and the damage it is wreaking families, an entire way of life and on a whole ecosystem in the Golf of Mexico? The list goes on and on.

Hell, everything humans touch has the potential for becoming harmful and exploitative; it’s the nature of the beast. Even your own tirade is harmful to and disruptive to those of us who are trying to make a difference in the adult entertainment industry. Trust me, you would have made a better case if you said you wanted to help change the status quo in porn, not just point out its inherent flaws.

And what’s all this; “Porn leaves men lonely and pathetic”? Are you suggesting that you are the alternative? Perhaps, if you weren’t so bitchy and condescending your men wouldn’t turn to porn. Your abrasive personality and moral rectitude would drive the pope to porn.

Oh, and have a nice day! NEXT!

Name: Suzanne
Gender:
Age: 25
Location: Auckland
Should a woman fake an orgasm to keep her partner happy?

Brilliant idea, Susanne! Rather than help your ineffectual lover overcome his inadequacy with the truth and a little tutorial on how to make you cum — lie to monkey about his sexual prowess.

I see nothing wrong with that! Other than when you’re done fuckin’ him, or he’s done fuckin’ you, the next unlucky woman he happens upon will have twice the work. She’ll not only have to tell him the truth — that he sucks as a lover — but she’ll also have to contend with his inflated ego. Thanks to you and the deception you practice, he’ll be convinced that he’s a fabulous lover when, of course, he’s a Neanderthal.

What could be wrong with that, Susanne? D’oh!

Name: Emily
Gender:
Age: 28
Location: Texas
How much should I tell my new partner about my sex life with my exes?

How about just enough to get his dick hard?

Hell, I don’t know! Some guys get off on hearing all the gory details of the sexual exploits of their partners, albeit, it’s a relatively small number of guys. Just keep in mind that most men prefer the bliss that is ignorance.

If you’ve been around the block a time…or six, maybe you best keep that to yourself till you find out how much the new guy can stomach.

Good Luck

Name: Phillip
Gender:
Age: 31
Location: Austin, Texas
Dr. D, I’ve never had a problem with my sex life up until now. My wife and I have been very happy with our physical relationship. But, about 8 months ago, in a very vivid nightmare, I dreamed we were making love and when I came, the ejaculate was blood. I came blood. Everything in the dream stood still as I watched, almost like a third person, as my life flowed out of me. I woke in a sweat, and we’ve not made love since. We’ve talked about the dream, tried to be intimate, but I’m simply not able to enjoy the contact anymore. This is someone about whom I care deeply and with whom I am deeply in love. Considering professional help but would like your take.

Interesting! Yet another case of how one’s psyche can override one’s eroticism.

This is nothing to be toyed with, Phillip. Like an earthquake, this vivid dream has jarred you out of your happy, healthy sex life with your wife. And like anyone who has survived an earthquake, or a similar natural disaster, you need to put your life back together again as quickly as possible. I encourage you to seek a sex-positive therapist to help you break the spell of this nightmare.

The longer you let this thing hang out there the more perverse it will become.

Good Luck

Name: Lorenzo
Gender:
Age: 33
Location: Italy
I can only get off by squeezing my cock with my thighs. I have done this for as long as I’ve masturbated. I only found out years later that you should use your hand. But this does not work for me. Is this normal or common?

Lorenzo, what you report is neither normal nor common. But do you really care about “normal” and “common” if this technique works for you? And what the fuck is normal anyhow — statistical normalcy? I think we can forget that being the arbiter of things sexual.

Apparently your masturbation technique isn’t any less effective than those who employ a more “common” practice — like using one’s hand.

Basically, there aren’t a whole lot of “shoulds” when it comes to the style one employs to squeeze one off — and in your case, I mean that literally. If squeezing your cock with your thighs works for you — SWELL, knock yourself out!

Since you don’t report that this method of getting off is getting in the way of your partnered sex, I think you should leave well enough alone and enjoy your uniqueness.

Good Luck

Name: Sam
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: London, UK
Dear Dr. Dick, I am a young gay guy, and when I masturbate I am able to achieve orgasm and ejaculate; but when I am with another guy I do not cum. Don’t get me wrong, I have a great time during sex, but my partner doesn’t get me off. This is not a person-specific thing — this has been happening to me since I was 16.
Call it “delayed ejaculation”, if you will; but it’s more like “non-existent ejaculation”! The weird thing is, I don’t mind myself; the foreplay and sex is totally hot and I’m as happy as a clam with that as it is. But my partners have always been frustrated and disappointed, as if ejaculation is the official mark of success to show the culmination of a great fuck. So they keep trying until they get tired, which I guess is inevitable.
Is this something I should be worried about if I’m otherwise okay with sex? Or should my partner be less concerned about the orgasm and just realize that it doesn’t bother me. Many thanks and kudos for such an informative site.

Hey Sam, thanks for your kind words about the site, they’re much appreciated.

As to the issue you present, it’s not particularly uncommon. Many people are unable to, or choose not to, get off in partnered sex. And there are several very common reasons why. Without going into detail about that, let me just ask one thing. Are you able to masturbate yourself to orgasm when you are with a partner, like you can do when you are alone? If so, maybe you could incorporate that into your sex play your partner.

It’s true what you say about some people thinking a sexual encounter is only “successful” if both partners shoot. That’s nonsense, as both you and I well know. There’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and sexual satisfaction, just like there’s no necessary connection between an ejaculation and an orgasm. If you cave to that way of thinking you won’t help your misguided partners and you will be adding a good deal of performance anxiety to your sex encounters. And nobody wants that! Stick to your guns, Sam!

Good Luck