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The Heartbreak of Male Performance Anxiety

I get a dozen or so messages a month on this topic. I’ve written about it in numerous postings and spoken about it in several podcasts, but still the email comes.

One of the real bugaboos for anyone, regardless of gender, is living up to our own expectations of sexual performance. So many things can get in the way, literally and figuratively, of fully enjoying ourselves and/or pleasuring our partners.

The arousal stage of our sexual response cycle is particularly vulnerable to a disruption. And when there’s trouble there, there’s no hiding it. A limp dick or a dry pussy can put the kibosh on all festivities that we may have hoped would follow.

However, performance anxiety can strike any of us, regardless of age, and at just about any point in our sexual response cycle. This is a particularly galling when it seems to come out of the blue. And regaining our composure can be more far more difficult than we imagine.

Today we will be focusing on male performance anxiety.  I’ll address female performance anxiety at a later date.

Here’s Bob, he’s 26:
Doc, this has never happened before. But I couldn’t get it up tonight, and this chick was H.O.T. Now I’m not gay at all, but I haven’t had sex in about 3 years because I was locked up…so I masturbated pretty regularly, about 3 or 4 times a week. But I can’t figure out why I was soft… the only thing I can think of is I ate clams tonight and I’ve never had them before. Could it be that or should I get checked out?

It weren’t the clams, darlin’! And I don’t think you need to get “checked out” either…at least not right away. If you could back away from the situation a bit and stop freaking out, I think you’d discover the source of your problem all on your own.

Here’s the thing—while you were out of commission there in the slammer, you relied, as you say, on jerking off. Okay, cool. We all do what we gotta do. Now the first time you try to score after your release…you go soft. This tells me you have a mild case of performance anxiety. We all get that from time to time.

There’s probably nothing wrong with you or your johnson. You just got the jitters first time you tried to get you some after being away, that’s all.

The anticipation of boning this H.O.T. chick—fueled by some predictable self-consciousness; what with just getting out of the big house and all—pulled the plug on your wood. No surprise there, right?

What I don’t want to see happen is for you to replay the incident over and over in your mind’s eye til that’s all you can think about. If you do, this proverbial molehill will become a mountain. You’ll then bring all this anxiety to your next encounter, setting yourself up for even more disappointment. You can see how this shit can snowball? If you interpret every less than satisfying encounter as a failure, your fears will become self-fulfilling. You’ll begin to avoid partnered sex and you’ll develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction. And your self-esteem will take a nosedive, too.

If you’re preoccupied with your performance, it’s less likely that you’ll be fully present during sex with a partner. This pretty much fucks up your sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity. Why not just relax into the whole sex thing and not try to prove your manhood with your pecker?

Then there’s Steve with a slightly different take on this meddlesome problem:

My partner and I have been together for just over 3 years now in a monogamous relationship. I am the top and he the bottom. Our problem is not premature ejaculation on his part, but his inability to have an orgasm at all. No matter what I try and even if he masturbates, sometimes it is impossible to get him to cum. Is this a medical issue? Have you ever heard of this?

Delayed ejaculation is the difficulty one has ejaculating even with a firm erection and sufficient sexual arousal and stimulation. This problem is not uncommon. For most men, delayed ejaculation occurs during partnered sex more frequently than while masturbating. In fact, 85% of men with delayed ejaculation can usually cum by jacking off. However, in partnered sex, the guy may be unable to ejaculate at all, or only after prolonged partnered stimulation. This problem can be very frustrating and cause distress for both partners involved, as you already know.

What causes delayed ejaculation? Well, it could be a number of things. It could be something as simple as performance anxiety, or inadequate stimulation, or there could be neurological damage.

I don’t want to be too reductionist here, but most of us experts believe that the majority of instances of delayed ejaculation aren’t physical in nature, but rather are the product of psychological concerns. Simply put, there’s a difference between the psychosexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. There’s probably nothing wrong with your partner’s unit. It’s all in his head…or his mind, to be more exact. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s got a real bad case of performance anxiety.

When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psychosexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training (Sensate Focus is a series of specific exercises for couples that encourage each partner to take turns paying increased attention to their own sensations. More about these helpful exercises in the weeks to come.), stress reduction and relaxation exercises. These applications are designed to reduce performance pressure and instead focus on pleasure. The idea is to get them to stay in the moment; absorb the pleasure present without worrying about what is “supposed” to happen.

Finally we address as frankly and openly as possible any fears or anxieties that they may have—as individuals or as a couple. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Ok, let’s recap shall we?

Overcoming sexual performance anxiety is dependent on five simple things.

  • First, a guy needs to be attuned to his sexual response cycle — arousal, plateau, orgasmic and resolution phases. He should know what kind of stimulation he needs at each phase to fully enjoy himself and satisfy his partner.
  • Second, the more worried a guy is about a performance issue, the more likely that problem will present itself. A bad experience in the past can often set the stage for its recurrence.
  • Third, don’t be afraid to talk this over with your partner. Withdrawing from your partner or shying away from sex altogether will only increase the likelihood that the problem will persist.
  • Forth, be proactive! Fearing the loss of your sexual prowess or feeling sorry for yourself is counterproductive. Confront the challenge head on. Employ sensate focus training stress reduction techniques and relaxation exercises to help you push past this temporarily impasse and regain your self-confidence.
  • Fifth, free yourself from the mindset that your dick is the center of the universe. Your manhood or your capacity to be a great lover does not reside in your genitals. Expand your sexual repertoire. Remember, pleasure centers abound in your body as well as your partner’s.

Good luck!

The Prostate Toy Interview

Hey sex fans,

This being Friday and all, you’re probably expecting a product review. Well sorry to disappoint, but the entire Dr Dick Review Crew is still working their naughty bits to the bone, so to speak, so we’ll have to wait on posting new reviews till another day.

But not to worry, because I have something else that’s charming and delightful for you. Keeping with the sex toy theme I offer you this interview I did with a leading toy company. I figure if the toy company was interested in my thoughts, perhaps you, my dear readers, would be too.

1. Hey Dr Dick, you look like a rather wholesome gentleman, what prompted you to become a Sexologist?

Wholesome? Looks are so deceiving, aren’t they?

I came to this work in a most unorthodox fashion. It is certainly not something I ever aspired to do.

I was a Catholic priest at the time. I was ordained in 1975. (I am the only Catholic priest in the world with a doctorate in Clinical Sexology.) In 1981 I completed my post-graduate work with the publication of my doctoral thesis concerning the sexual attitudes and behaviors of gay Catholic priests in the active ministry. This was unprecedented research back then (and even now, for that matter). There was a firestorm of international publicity. I was soon to be known as “The Gay Priest”. (Yeah, like if I was the only one.) Needless to say, this notoriety (some say infamy) effectively ended my public priesthood. I fought the Vatican for the next 15 years, from 1981-1996, in an attempt to salvage my ministry, but in the end it was a lost cause. No surprise there, I suppose.

My career as a therapist in San Francisco coincided with the advent of HIV/AIDS (1981). My practice evolved into working primarily with sick, elder and dying people. In the mid-90’s I founded a nonprofit organization, PARADIGM, Enhancing Life Near Death. It was an outreach for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder and dying people. This was brilliant cutting-edge work. Alas, I couldn’t find the proper funding to continue. This precipitated a rather sudden move to Seattle in 1999.

I continued to work with sick and dying people here, in Seattle. I started to develop programming for women newly diagnosed with ovarian cancer and men with prostate cancer. I wanted to create videos for people experiencing life threatening and/or disfiguring illnesses to help them deal with reintegrating sex and intimacy into their lives post diagnosis. I soon realized that I would need to fund these projects on my own. No mainline foundation would touch the issue of sex. Faced with how I might do that, some friends prevailed on me to shoot porn. The rational was; I would make loads of money and I could then subsidize my heart’s desire. Thus Daddy Oohhh! Productions was born.

Unfortunately, the “load of money” part never materialized. But at the time, I figured that, since I was actually shooting porn, I would create projects that were different in style and tone from what currently ruled the marketplace. The Daddy Oohhh line features a whole lot more romance, allure and seduction rather than just bumping parts.

2. What are the most common issues you come across during your workshops and counseling?

I continue to be surprised by how few people actually believe there is an essential goodness to sexuality, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond.

I see so much unhappiness and anxiety when a person’s sex-negative attitudes alienate them from their own body and the bodies of others. These uninformed attitudes affect not only a person’s sex life, but also his/her ability to relate well with others.

I believe that sexual wellbeing is more than simply being able to perform. It also means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of one’s personality and involvement with others. Between the extremes of total sexual repression and relentless sexual pursuit, a person can find that unique place, where he/she is free to live a life of self-respect, enjoyment and love.

My workshops and counseling practice aim is to provide information and guidance to help people approach their unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner, as well as further their independent growth, personal integrity, and have a more joyful experience of living.

3. Everyone seems to be aware of the female G-spot. However, the male equivalent, the P-spot, is shrouded in mystery and taboo. Would you mind explaining what that’s all about?

You’ll excuse me for being contrary, but it is my personal crusade to dissuade people from using the term “male G-Spot”.

Frankly, I don’t see a rationale for talking about the prostate as if it were something akin to the female G-spot. Because that’s like saying a clit is a female penis. And to tell you the truth; I even have difficulty with the overly cutesy term, “P-Spot”.

The G-spot got its moniker because folks couldn’t remember its proper name, the Grafenberg Spot. (It was named after the physician who first wrote about it.) But we don’t need that kind of shorthand for the word prostate, do we? I certainly hope not.

If the prostate is indeed shrouded in mystery and taboo, as you suggest, it’s likely because it’s buried inside a guy’s ass. And our culture is pretty ass-phobic.

Luckily, I see all of this changing. More and more men are discovering a pleasure zone they’ve not known before. And thanks to the growing number prostate-related sex toys in the marketplace this self-discovery can be fun as well as informative.

4. What can men do to enjoy this little gland?

• First, cut and file smooth your fingernails. And before you start playing with your hole, relax.
• Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to help you do that.
• Have a ready supply of a water-based or silicone-based lube handy.
• Start with a nice hand job. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand to get yourself into your happy place.
• Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint (perineum). While your legs are open find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your finger in just yet. Simply let this time be for getting used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
• Next, let your play include the tip of your middle finger entering your ass.
• If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
• Once you’re comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Then try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
• Once your finger is about an inch or so inside your ass, move your finger in an upward motion along the upper wall of your rectum. You’ll discover a firm, round and flat surface the size of a walnut. This is your prostate. You can only feel this small part of the whole gland, but you will know it when you touch it. It is full of delicious nerve endings and it will give you jolt of pleasure.
• Remember, your prostate shouldn’t be hard to find, particularly if you’re all horned up from pullin’ your pud. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
• Give that puppy a nice gentle massage with your fingertip. If you’re still stroking your cock, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you off. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes firmer just as you are about to shoot your load.
• As you cum you will also notice that your ass-sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt. How fun is that?

5. If you enjoy prostate stimulation, does that make you gay?

It certainly would if only gay men had prostates.

6. Is there a difference between a prostate orgasm and a penile orgasm?

Technically, I suppose there is.

Clearly some men do get off on prostate stimulation alone. However, an orgasm (not the same thing as an ejaculation, mind you) is a complex physiological — muscular and neurological — response. Just like our genitals are a composite of parts that work together to bring us joy; so too are our orgasms.

Finding and massaging your prostate is a wonderful thing. But there’s one thing for certain; your prostate has been involved in your orgasmic response from the very beginning, long before you discovered it.

7. Are there any health benefits to prostate stimulation?

Yeah, you betcha! It’s fun, it’s healthful and it’s sexually enriching.

Massaging your prostate stimulates blood flow and that brings more oxygen to your prostate. Unwanted bacteria that grow in your prostate can be removed more efficiently through massage. Fat and proteins can also accumulate over time, which can cause infection or even lead to tumor growth if not flushed from time to time. Massaging your prostate can assist with this.

Studies show that a prostate massage is an effective means of keeping your prostate healthy without the use of pharmaceuticals or resorting to surgery. And of course it also helps a guy become less cock-centric and less ass-phobic. So it’s a win/win situation.

8. Are there any dangers?

Not really. Just remember to use lots of lube, because your asshole doesn’t create its own lubrication. Always start off slowly. And don’t put anything in your bum that isn’t designed for that purpose. All anal toys — massagers, vibrators, butt plugs, anal beads, dildos and the like — must have a handle on them and/or an oversized base that will prevent the toy from accidentally slipping up into your ass.

9. Finally, do you have any wise words for our prostate loving readers?

Once you’ve discovered the joys of prostate stimulation on your own, why not invite your partner(s) to join in the fun. And always use quality toys. Choose nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free materials. Waterproof toys are also highly recommended. Because keeping your toys clean and sanitized is a real big part of enjoying your or someone else’s prostate.

the indomitable human spirit…follow up

I have something extraordinary to share with you.  Here is an email I received in response to Tuesday’s posting:  the indomitable human spirit

Dear Dr. Dick,

About your post today…thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate your words and I love that Roman and his girlfriend are having a good time and are willing to explore options.

I am disabled. I had polio as a 13 month old baby in 1955 and use forearm crutches for very short distances and a manual wheelchair for everything else. Basically, my shoulders serve the same function as hips do for others. Due to polio, multiple surgeries and post polio muscular atrophy, I also have some reduced sensation from the hips down and a lack of control with both legs.

I am also a very sensual and sexual person. I love the physical feeling of being touched and kissed, and absolutely relish having orgasms. I love the emotional rush of planning, organizing and getting ready for a sexy time with my guy, and I love the psychological boost of knowing I am desirable.

I have found the world of BDSM to be extremely helpful to me. I have a leather bustier and thong with flames; we have a restraint system under the mattress, a flogger, blindfolds, Hitachi Wand, assorted dildos and other fun toys. While I think people may come from the womb wired for a mindset that jives with BDSM, for someone disabled in the way that I am there are definite perks. The extra levels of touch and physical stimulation in BDSM play help me build toward an orgasm. The building of mood with language throughout the day, calling my guy Master, his comments about spanking my butt after supper, laying out the clothes, choosing the toys from our toy box, lighting the candles for wax play and burning my favorite incense…all work together to get me in the mood, physically and mentally.

BDSM is so much about the focus, the connection and the attention – either using all the senses, or purposely withholding one sense or another, that many people in the BDSM world already make adaptations for personal differences in play and are acutely aware when someone responds more sensually to a quiet whisper rather than a normal tone of voice, or to the sensations of one type of clamp rather than another. In that world, individual differences are considered normal, so my differences seem to make less difference to them. I know of several couples where one or both are disabled and choose to attend BDSM functions…and frequently it is the woman or man in the wheelchair who is the Dom in the relationship.

Vaginal intercourse is difficult for me. I don’t have the muscle tone to provide adequate stimulation for my guy to reach orgasm. The adaptation for that is oral or anal intercourse. I went to my gynecologist for a frank talk about any special concerns about anal intercourse for someone in my physical situation. I also called and talked with the Dom of a BDSM dungeon to ask the same questions. He gave me some great advice and ideas, probably more specific and useful information than the doctor.

I have found the Liberator pillows to be extremely helpful for positioning and, combined with the under the mattress restraint system, there is much less problem with losing control of my legs and accidentally kicking someone. Regular bed pillows and other positioning cushions that I have tried over the years would just scoot out from under me and were usually more frustrating than helpful. With any restraint system attention has to be paid to circulation and the restrained person never left alone, but that is true whether the people involved are disabled or not.

All that being said, a sense of dedication and a sense of humor are absolute necessities! Our attitude is one of discovering how to make things work rather than questioning whether they are possible. And humor simply must be part of the process. At one point I decided satin sheets and a matching sexy gown would be a great surprise to put my guy over the moon. A friend came over and put the satin sheets on the bed for me and when my guy arrived home I was waiting in the silky nightie on those expensive satin sheets. My beloved was quite excited and reached out to gently push me over just a bit so he could join me on the bed. Odd how slick those sheets were. I went sailing across the sheets and off the other side of the bed onto the floor. We laughed until we cried.

Thanks again for helping get the word out that disability does not equate to celibacy.

Hugs,
Donna

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 3

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 3 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two of our favorite retailers, who always send us delightful goodies to review.

First up, a uniquely shaped butt plug from Vibrator.com. They are the purveyors of fine sex toys. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, shows us around.

Tantus Dipper —— $31.00

Carlos
I’ve been following my fellow Review Crew member’s comments about the Tantus products we’ve received for review. You can see these reviews HERE.  I’ve been hoping to get a crack at one of these beauties myself. So when Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Tantus Dipper I jumped at the opportunity.

I am a huge fan of butt plugs and, over the years, I’ve collected a nice selection of prostate stimulators that I take for a ride at least a couple of times a week. Sometime I wear one or another of them for hours at a time. I love going shopping with one in my ass. The tedium of grocery shopping becomes a fun outing. I have huge smile on my face and everyone wonders why I’m so cheerful. If they only knew!

The Tantus Dipper is the perfect tool for your honey pot. And it’s a doubleheader too. You can use either end! One end is shaped like a honey dipper with loads of ridges. The other end is spherical and it pops into my ass like a single anal bead. Between the two ends is the traditional butt plug notch, a narrow neck, that allows my sphincter muscles to clap down on it, keeping whatever end I have in my hole safely in place. PERFECT!
Full Review HERE!

And now a couple toys from our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com. First, here’s Dr Dick Review Crew member, Denise.

Roulette High Roller —— $73.41

Denise
Damn, the Roulette High Roller is pink! Not your pastel pink either; more like your shockingly crazy day-glo-pink variety. Pink is not my favorite color, by a long shot, but I didn’t let the color of the Roulette High Roller get in the way of me enjoying this delightful vibe. You shouldn’t let the color get in the way either.

The Roulette High Roller has just about everything I look for in a vibrator. There is a nice texture to the beautifully soft silicone shaft. It’s waterproof! And it has a pinwheel device that adjusts the variable vibration speed. There are no vibration patterns. But from my point of view, having a bunch of vibration modes is completely overrated. Give me a good strong steady vibration, and I’m a happy gal. And the more simple the controller the better. What gives with all the elaborate control panels on vibes these days? When I use a vibrator I want to get off, I don’t want to go to the moon!

The Roulette High Roller is mighty quite too.

Because the Roulette High Roller is silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It’s also brilliantly easy to clean — mild soap and water will do, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Because it’s waterproof, you don’t have to worry about submerging it in soapy water for a thorough cleaning. This is really important to me. I’m very leery about insertable toys you can’t thoroughly clean. The Roulette High Roller comes packaged in its own reusable plastic storage box too. Good thinking, Evolved Novelties!
Full Review HERE!

Finally Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa, has a Fun Factory vibe to show us.

Fun Factory’s Layaspot —— $57.53

Christa
This is the Layaspot by Fun Factory. It’s a sweet looking little vibe perfect for clit stimulation. It has a kick-ass ergonomic shape that straddles my mons for some hands-free pleasuring. The business end of the vibe is in the wider end, but I can feel the vibration throughout the whole vibe. This wider, flatter end fits up against my clit nicely and delivers a great full genital massage. And I don’t even have to move it around.

There are two buttons on the spine of the vibe; one marked + and one marked —. These regulate the eight levels of vibration and three pulsation modes. I found operating these little buttons a problem. Turning it on and off isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes a lot of finger strength to keep the buttons depressed long enough to switch the vibrations modes. I didn’t like that.

The unit is only 4” long, made of a hard plastic with a softer skid-resistant coating. The package says it is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. The Layaspot is powered by a couple of AAA –batteries. But getting into the battery compartment is if bitch. Who designed this, some he-man? I wound up having to use my mother’s jar opener to open the Layaspot. Closing it properly is also a challenge. I thought I had it right till the plastic battery compartment top popped off during use. D’oh! Ok, so that was my fault.

The Layaspot is not waterproof; they say it’s splash proof. What exactly does splash proof really mean anyhow? It tells me the manufacturer couldn’t bother to make a watertight seal on the toy, that’s what it says to me. I figure a toy is either waterproof or it’s not. Splash proof shouldn’t be a selling point, IMHO. Listen, maybe this isn’t a big thing for others, but it is for me. Not just in terms of use, but also in terms of cleaning. A vibe that costs near $60 should, I think, be waterproof. That is if you ask me.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Treasure Trove

Hey sex fans,

Another edition of Product Review Friday is coming your way. Today, besides having a bunch of great products to tell you about, we welcome a new manufacturer to our review family. I’m delighted to introduce you to System JO, the company behind the products we review for you today.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie and yours truly, me, Dr Dick, will do the honors

System JO Men Adrenaline Shaving Cream —— $11.42

Dr Dick
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a fantastic new shaving product from the good people at System JO. It’s their Adrenaline Shaving Cream for men. This stuff is so cool. It comes out of the handsomely designed plastic squeeze bottle with the pop-up dispenser in the lid, as a gel. At first I thought there was some mistake. The package says “cream”, but look, it’s actually a gel. I began to rub the droplet I dispensed in my left palm with the tip of my fingers in my right hand. Miraculously, the gel turns into this very fine slick cream. It is so slick and fine that I didn’t need to more than a few drops to make enough cream to cover my entire beard. Damn, this stuff is phenomenal, I thought to myself. But the proof of a good shave cream, at least to my mind, is in the shave itself, not merely in the consistency of the product.

As I discovered with my very first use that Adrenaline Shaving Cream excels in delivering a close comfortable shave. I have pretty sensitive skin, but I didn’t experience any irritation when using Adrenaline Shaving Cream and my skin felt fantastic after each use. Like I said, a small amount covers a large area and it coats my skin nicely. Unlike all those dense shaving foams out there , this product allows your razor will glide along effortlessly. It won’t clog your razor and it rinses off your razor easily.

If you’re prone to razor burn, ingrown hairs and/or shaving bumps Adrenaline Shaving Cream is the ideal product for you. It’s enhanced with aloe vera, but it also contains parabens and glycerin.  If you have concerns about these ingredients, you may need to look elsewhere.

I’m happy I got the unscented formula for review, because that would have been my preference. However it also comes in cucumber and musk scents. There is also a companion line of shave cream for women.
Full Review HERE

System JO Men Deodorant With Pheromone —— $13.80

Dr Dick
Next up is the Men Deodorant With Pheromone. This product comes in a distinctive roll-on container. Do you remember when most all deodorants came in roll-on form? I do and I really miss having them around. Nowadays, it’s mostly messy gels and chalky sticks that don’t appeal to me all that much. I also don’t like that almost all deodorants these days have an intense scent to them. If I want to wear a scent I’ll chose my own, thank you very much.

So right off the bat Men Deodorant With Pheromone has a lot of the competition beat. It is a very effective deodorant, by the way. And that’s what I judge a deodorant by; it’s effectiveness at preventing body odor.

Now, Men Deodorant With Pheromone is different from the other deodorants you’ll likely find on your local store’s shelves in as much as it contains Androstenl.  The System JO website says this is a potent natural attractant that provokes a strong sexual response. OK, but how does one go about testing such a thing, I asked myself.

I first used Men Deodorant With Pheromone after I had taken a shower one day. It applies very easily, there is no staining, no running, no dripping, no chalky mess and there’s no discernible scent. I left the bathroom to dress myself. I sat on the bed to put on my socks and suddenly my dog, Ginger, jumps up on the bed and makes a beeline for my armpits. She seemed to be unable to get enough of the thing she was trying to smell. I started to laugh and just as suddenly as she was on the bed, she was off. Once on the floor she vigorously shook her head, flapping here ears and then sneezed. This is very unusual behavior for her. But then again, she’s a hunting dog, so she’s all nose.

Clearly there was something in the Men Deodorant With Pheromone that I was unable to detect, but that Ginger was wild for. It had to be the Men Deodorant With Pheromone, because she’s never exhibited that kind of behavior with any other deodorant I’ve ever used.
Full Review HERE

System JO Mild Clitoral Gel —— $18.25
System JO Wild Clitoral Gel —— $19.12

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “We’re going to review two products at once. The reason for this is that both products are basically the same thing with one important difference.”
Dixie: “The two products are: System JO Mild Clitoral Gel and Wild Clitoral Gel. You can probably guess that the important difference that Joy mentioned is intensity of the stimulation. By the way they also have ‘Light’ and an ‘Atomic’ version of the same product.”
Joy: “Both of the products boost sensation when applied to your clit. The active ingredient appears to be peppermint; so at least it a natural product. I’m very reluctant to apply something full of chemicals to my joy-spot. The peppermint also gives the products a mild minty fragrance.”
Dixie: “Joy’s joy-spot! Isn’t she clever? I guess I’d have to call mine; Dixie’s delicious-spot. Whatever you call your clit this Clitoral Gel will get your motor purrin’ real nice. The object, of course is to get the one that works best for you. We both tried each product. We both began by rubbing a couple of drops of the Mild Clitoral Gel directly to our clits. Then we waited for it to produce the promised warming and cooling sensation that tingles. Nothing much happened that either Joy or I could notice. We both looked at each other and kind of sighed. Are our clits that desensitized, we wondered? Could be, we guessed.”
Joy: “So we tried the Wild Clitoral Gel next. We applied the same amount in the same way as the first test. This time, BINGO! We both could feel the sensations within a minute, both warming and cooling. The peppermint was doing its thing. None of this is overwhelming in any sense of the word. Nor is it a particularly long lasting effect, which is a good thing. I wouldn’t want to be feeing this kind of sensation for too long.”
Dixie: “Both the Mild Clitoral Gel and Wild Clitoral Gel are silicone-based, which makes for a very nice silky texture, much like a silicone-based lube. This, however, brings one word of warning to mind. If you are using either of these products with a silicone toy, like a vibrator, be sure to sheath your toy in a condom first. There’s minimal packaging, which I really appreciate. The small tube containing the gel is inside a simple paper package that is recyclable.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

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