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the indomitable human spirit…follow up

I have something extraordinary to share with you.  Here is an email I received in response to Tuesday’s posting:  the indomitable human spirit

Dear Dr. Dick,

About your post today…thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate your words and I love that Roman and his girlfriend are having a good time and are willing to explore options.

I am disabled. I had polio as a 13 month old baby in 1955 and use forearm crutches for very short distances and a manual wheelchair for everything else. Basically, my shoulders serve the same function as hips do for others. Due to polio, multiple surgeries and post polio muscular atrophy, I also have some reduced sensation from the hips down and a lack of control with both legs.

I am also a very sensual and sexual person. I love the physical feeling of being touched and kissed, and absolutely relish having orgasms. I love the emotional rush of planning, organizing and getting ready for a sexy time with my guy, and I love the psychological boost of knowing I am desirable.

I have found the world of BDSM to be extremely helpful to me. I have a leather bustier and thong with flames; we have a restraint system under the mattress, a flogger, blindfolds, Hitachi Wand, assorted dildos and other fun toys. While I think people may come from the womb wired for a mindset that jives with BDSM, for someone disabled in the way that I am there are definite perks. The extra levels of touch and physical stimulation in BDSM play help me build toward an orgasm. The building of mood with language throughout the day, calling my guy Master, his comments about spanking my butt after supper, laying out the clothes, choosing the toys from our toy box, lighting the candles for wax play and burning my favorite incense…all work together to get me in the mood, physically and mentally.

BDSM is so much about the focus, the connection and the attention – either using all the senses, or purposely withholding one sense or another, that many people in the BDSM world already make adaptations for personal differences in play and are acutely aware when someone responds more sensually to a quiet whisper rather than a normal tone of voice, or to the sensations of one type of clamp rather than another. In that world, individual differences are considered normal, so my differences seem to make less difference to them. I know of several couples where one or both are disabled and choose to attend BDSM functions…and frequently it is the woman or man in the wheelchair who is the Dom in the relationship.

Vaginal intercourse is difficult for me. I don’t have the muscle tone to provide adequate stimulation for my guy to reach orgasm. The adaptation for that is oral or anal intercourse. I went to my gynecologist for a frank talk about any special concerns about anal intercourse for someone in my physical situation. I also called and talked with the Dom of a BDSM dungeon to ask the same questions. He gave me some great advice and ideas, probably more specific and useful information than the doctor.

I have found the Liberator pillows to be extremely helpful for positioning and, combined with the under the mattress restraint system, there is much less problem with losing control of my legs and accidentally kicking someone. Regular bed pillows and other positioning cushions that I have tried over the years would just scoot out from under me and were usually more frustrating than helpful. With any restraint system attention has to be paid to circulation and the restrained person never left alone, but that is true whether the people involved are disabled or not.

All that being said, a sense of dedication and a sense of humor are absolute necessities! Our attitude is one of discovering how to make things work rather than questioning whether they are possible. And humor simply must be part of the process. At one point I decided satin sheets and a matching sexy gown would be a great surprise to put my guy over the moon. A friend came over and put the satin sheets on the bed for me and when my guy arrived home I was waiting in the silky nightie on those expensive satin sheets. My beloved was quite excited and reached out to gently push me over just a bit so he could join me on the bed. Odd how slick those sheets were. I went sailing across the sheets and off the other side of the bed onto the floor. We laughed until we cried.

Thanks again for helping get the word out that disability does not equate to celibacy.

Hugs,
Donna

Holiday Gift Giving Guide, WEEK 3

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday again and this is Week 3 of our 3rd annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.

This week we welcome back two of our favorite retailers, who always send us delightful goodies to review.

First up, a uniquely shaped butt plug from Vibrator.com. They are the purveyors of fine sex toys. Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, shows us around.

Tantus Dipper —— $31.00

Carlos
I’ve been following my fellow Review Crew member’s comments about the Tantus products we’ve received for review. You can see these reviews HERE.  I’ve been hoping to get a crack at one of these beauties myself. So when Dr Dick asked me if I wanted to review the Tantus Dipper I jumped at the opportunity.

I am a huge fan of butt plugs and, over the years, I’ve collected a nice selection of prostate stimulators that I take for a ride at least a couple of times a week. Sometime I wear one or another of them for hours at a time. I love going shopping with one in my ass. The tedium of grocery shopping becomes a fun outing. I have huge smile on my face and everyone wonders why I’m so cheerful. If they only knew!

The Tantus Dipper is the perfect tool for your honey pot. And it’s a doubleheader too. You can use either end! One end is shaped like a honey dipper with loads of ridges. The other end is spherical and it pops into my ass like a single anal bead. Between the two ends is the traditional butt plug notch, a narrow neck, that allows my sphincter muscles to clap down on it, keeping whatever end I have in my hole safely in place. PERFECT!
Full Review HERE!

And now a couple toys from our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com. First, here’s Dr Dick Review Crew member, Denise.

Roulette High Roller —— $73.41

Denise
Damn, the Roulette High Roller is pink! Not your pastel pink either; more like your shockingly crazy day-glo-pink variety. Pink is not my favorite color, by a long shot, but I didn’t let the color of the Roulette High Roller get in the way of me enjoying this delightful vibe. You shouldn’t let the color get in the way either.

The Roulette High Roller has just about everything I look for in a vibrator. There is a nice texture to the beautifully soft silicone shaft. It’s waterproof! And it has a pinwheel device that adjusts the variable vibration speed. There are no vibration patterns. But from my point of view, having a bunch of vibration modes is completely overrated. Give me a good strong steady vibration, and I’m a happy gal. And the more simple the controller the better. What gives with all the elaborate control panels on vibes these days? When I use a vibrator I want to get off, I don’t want to go to the moon!

The Roulette High Roller is mighty quite too.

Because the Roulette High Roller is silicone, it’s nonporous, phthalates-free, hypoallergenic and latex-free. It’s also brilliantly easy to clean — mild soap and water will do, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution, rubbing alcohol or peroxide. Because it’s waterproof, you don’t have to worry about submerging it in soapy water for a thorough cleaning. This is really important to me. I’m very leery about insertable toys you can’t thoroughly clean. The Roulette High Roller comes packaged in its own reusable plastic storage box too. Good thinking, Evolved Novelties!
Full Review HERE!

Finally Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa, has a Fun Factory vibe to show us.

Fun Factory’s Layaspot —— $57.53

Christa
This is the Layaspot by Fun Factory. It’s a sweet looking little vibe perfect for clit stimulation. It has a kick-ass ergonomic shape that straddles my mons for some hands-free pleasuring. The business end of the vibe is in the wider end, but I can feel the vibration throughout the whole vibe. This wider, flatter end fits up against my clit nicely and delivers a great full genital massage. And I don’t even have to move it around.

There are two buttons on the spine of the vibe; one marked + and one marked —. These regulate the eight levels of vibration and three pulsation modes. I found operating these little buttons a problem. Turning it on and off isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes a lot of finger strength to keep the buttons depressed long enough to switch the vibrations modes. I didn’t like that.

The unit is only 4” long, made of a hard plastic with a softer skid-resistant coating. The package says it is phthalates free, hypoallergenic and latex free. The Layaspot is powered by a couple of AAA –batteries. But getting into the battery compartment is if bitch. Who designed this, some he-man? I wound up having to use my mother’s jar opener to open the Layaspot. Closing it properly is also a challenge. I thought I had it right till the plastic battery compartment top popped off during use. D’oh! Ok, so that was my fault.

The Layaspot is not waterproof; they say it’s splash proof. What exactly does splash proof really mean anyhow? It tells me the manufacturer couldn’t bother to make a watertight seal on the toy, that’s what it says to me. I figure a toy is either waterproof or it’s not. Splash proof shouldn’t be a selling point, IMHO. Listen, maybe this isn’t a big thing for others, but it is for me. Not just in terms of use, but also in terms of cleaning. A vibe that costs near $60 should, I think, be waterproof. That is if you ask me.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Treasure Trove

Hey sex fans,

Another edition of Product Review Friday is coming your way. Today, besides having a bunch of great products to tell you about, we welcome a new manufacturer to our review family. I’m delighted to introduce you to System JO, the company behind the products we review for you today.

Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie and yours truly, me, Dr Dick, will do the honors

System JO Men Adrenaline Shaving Cream —— $11.42

Dr Dick
I have the pleasure of introducing you to a fantastic new shaving product from the good people at System JO. It’s their Adrenaline Shaving Cream for men. This stuff is so cool. It comes out of the handsomely designed plastic squeeze bottle with the pop-up dispenser in the lid, as a gel. At first I thought there was some mistake. The package says “cream”, but look, it’s actually a gel. I began to rub the droplet I dispensed in my left palm with the tip of my fingers in my right hand. Miraculously, the gel turns into this very fine slick cream. It is so slick and fine that I didn’t need to more than a few drops to make enough cream to cover my entire beard. Damn, this stuff is phenomenal, I thought to myself. But the proof of a good shave cream, at least to my mind, is in the shave itself, not merely in the consistency of the product.

As I discovered with my very first use that Adrenaline Shaving Cream excels in delivering a close comfortable shave. I have pretty sensitive skin, but I didn’t experience any irritation when using Adrenaline Shaving Cream and my skin felt fantastic after each use. Like I said, a small amount covers a large area and it coats my skin nicely. Unlike all those dense shaving foams out there , this product allows your razor will glide along effortlessly. It won’t clog your razor and it rinses off your razor easily.

If you’re prone to razor burn, ingrown hairs and/or shaving bumps Adrenaline Shaving Cream is the ideal product for you. It’s enhanced with aloe vera, but it also contains parabens and glycerin.  If you have concerns about these ingredients, you may need to look elsewhere.

I’m happy I got the unscented formula for review, because that would have been my preference. However it also comes in cucumber and musk scents. There is also a companion line of shave cream for women.
Full Review HERE

System JO Men Deodorant With Pheromone —— $13.80

Dr Dick
Next up is the Men Deodorant With Pheromone. This product comes in a distinctive roll-on container. Do you remember when most all deodorants came in roll-on form? I do and I really miss having them around. Nowadays, it’s mostly messy gels and chalky sticks that don’t appeal to me all that much. I also don’t like that almost all deodorants these days have an intense scent to them. If I want to wear a scent I’ll chose my own, thank you very much.

So right off the bat Men Deodorant With Pheromone has a lot of the competition beat. It is a very effective deodorant, by the way. And that’s what I judge a deodorant by; it’s effectiveness at preventing body odor.

Now, Men Deodorant With Pheromone is different from the other deodorants you’ll likely find on your local store’s shelves in as much as it contains Androstenl.  The System JO website says this is a potent natural attractant that provokes a strong sexual response. OK, but how does one go about testing such a thing, I asked myself.

I first used Men Deodorant With Pheromone after I had taken a shower one day. It applies very easily, there is no staining, no running, no dripping, no chalky mess and there’s no discernible scent. I left the bathroom to dress myself. I sat on the bed to put on my socks and suddenly my dog, Ginger, jumps up on the bed and makes a beeline for my armpits. She seemed to be unable to get enough of the thing she was trying to smell. I started to laugh and just as suddenly as she was on the bed, she was off. Once on the floor she vigorously shook her head, flapping here ears and then sneezed. This is very unusual behavior for her. But then again, she’s a hunting dog, so she’s all nose.

Clearly there was something in the Men Deodorant With Pheromone that I was unable to detect, but that Ginger was wild for. It had to be the Men Deodorant With Pheromone, because she’s never exhibited that kind of behavior with any other deodorant I’ve ever used.
Full Review HERE

System JO Mild Clitoral Gel —— $18.25
System JO Wild Clitoral Gel —— $19.12

Joy & Dixie
Joy: “We’re going to review two products at once. The reason for this is that both products are basically the same thing with one important difference.”
Dixie: “The two products are: System JO Mild Clitoral Gel and Wild Clitoral Gel. You can probably guess that the important difference that Joy mentioned is intensity of the stimulation. By the way they also have ‘Light’ and an ‘Atomic’ version of the same product.”
Joy: “Both of the products boost sensation when applied to your clit. The active ingredient appears to be peppermint; so at least it a natural product. I’m very reluctant to apply something full of chemicals to my joy-spot. The peppermint also gives the products a mild minty fragrance.”
Dixie: “Joy’s joy-spot! Isn’t she clever? I guess I’d have to call mine; Dixie’s delicious-spot. Whatever you call your clit this Clitoral Gel will get your motor purrin’ real nice. The object, of course is to get the one that works best for you. We both tried each product. We both began by rubbing a couple of drops of the Mild Clitoral Gel directly to our clits. Then we waited for it to produce the promised warming and cooling sensation that tingles. Nothing much happened that either Joy or I could notice. We both looked at each other and kind of sighed. Are our clits that desensitized, we wondered? Could be, we guessed.”
Joy: “So we tried the Wild Clitoral Gel next. We applied the same amount in the same way as the first test. This time, BINGO! We both could feel the sensations within a minute, both warming and cooling. The peppermint was doing its thing. None of this is overwhelming in any sense of the word. Nor is it a particularly long lasting effect, which is a good thing. I wouldn’t want to be feeing this kind of sensation for too long.”
Dixie: “Both the Mild Clitoral Gel and Wild Clitoral Gel are silicone-based, which makes for a very nice silky texture, much like a silicone-based lube. This, however, brings one word of warning to mind. If you are using either of these products with a silicone toy, like a vibrator, be sure to sheath your toy in a condom first. There’s minimal packaging, which I really appreciate. The small tube containing the gel is inside a simple paper package that is recyclable.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Lookie Here

Another Product Review Friday is comin at ya!

Today we feature the most expensive toy we’ve reviewed on this site to date. It comes to us from the good people at Pipedream Products.

Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada takes it for a spin.

BODY HEAT Self Warming Vibe —— $250.28

Jada
About 10 years ago, when I was still a sweet impressionable young thing, I briefly dated (2 times) this guy who drove this totally pimped out Hummer. I mean this thing was obscenely gauche. Besides being a outrageous monument to conspicuous consumption, it was also extremely loud and ridiculously uncomfortable. It was like riding in a tank. And I practically needed a stepladder to enter and exit the behemoth. I felt like I was getting in and out of a cartoon car.

But the guy couldn’t have been more proud of his ride. He insisted that it was the consummate babe magnet. (I don’t know either; I just chalked it up to being a guy thing.) Little did he know that when he pulled up to a club all the women would giggle and snicker. I guess none of his women “friends” thought to tell him about our inside joke — BCLD — Big Car; Little Dick!

I realize that this is a somewhat long-winded intro to a toy review, but my little reminiscence was the first thing to come to mind when I was handed the BODY HEAT Self Warming Vibe to review.

Let’s start with the presentation. One would never know from just looking at the package that the BODY HEAT was so damned expensive. It comes in a nondescript carton that covers an equally nondescript plastic clamshell. All the other high-end toys I know of come in swank gift boxes, but not the BODY HEAT. It’s packaging looks like it belongs to a toy a fraction of its cost.

Ok, so we ought not judge a book by it’s cover right? I take BODY HEAT home and take it out of the package to see what’s what. Here’s what i found — a 7” shaft sits atop a 3.5” hard plastic base. The heart of the shaft is made up of pleasure “beads” that rotate. There are three rotation programs and each can be adjusted to eight speeds. The shaft is sheathed in a 100% silicone sleeve that is lavender in color. The sleeve also has a series of very stimulating ridges and is topped off with a flattened arrowhead shaped tip; perfect for G-spot stimulation. The sheath of silicone also covers embedded heating coils and a digital stabilizer that is supposed to keep the vibrator temperature at 100 or 120 degrees F. Supposedly, the warmer temperatures make the shaft easier to insert. But that would only be true of the tip of the vibe warmed up, which it doesn’t. However, the lower 1/3 of the vibe shaft does stay warm throughout use.

The base of BODY HEAT houses the control panel and a LCD display that shows the temp, the rotation program and speed. A rechargeable lithium battery fits inside the base. But wait! Some assembly is required. Get this, you need a teeny tiny phillips-head screwdriver, the kind a jeweler would use, to install the battery. Do you have one of those lying around your house? I don’t! I thought to myself; swell, now what am I supposed to do? After calling everyone I knew to see if they had one, I finally got hold of my sweet lesbian sister-in-law. Sure enough, she had just the thing. Wouldn’t you just know it? Dykes are such lifesavers. The BODY HEAT also comes with a recharger.

If all this weren’t enough, the BODY HEAT also comes with a removable vibrating clit stimulator (with batteries) in the shape of a rabbit that is supposed to be able to double as a cock ring. This is a brilliant idea, but there’s a rub. If you use it as a cockring your partner’s unit has to be at least the same girth as the BODY HEAT vibe. My partner is…how shall I say this…not so blessed. He did try to stretch it around his penis and ball sack like he wears a regular cockring, but there wasn’t enough give in the silicone.  This made it way too tight to wear. So we never were able to try out that function. Back to the drawing board on that feature!

The tricked out BODY HEAT weighs in at a very hefty 15+oz. That’s a handful and then some.

Are you getting the picture why I began with story about that pimped out Hummer? I though you would. Sometimes too much is just that; too much.

Before I continue my review I just want to say that, if I had to guess, the BODY HEAT was designed and developed by a man, or more likely, a committee of men. They may have been well intentioned men, but I’d be willing to wager that there was no female input on this at all. Only a guy would dream up something like this. The reason I say this is that I have a bunch of women friends and we all have a ton of sex toys and not one of us has ever thought to ourselves; gee, I need to get me a vibe that does everything but make supper. Or gee, my vibe is cold; I need to get one with a heater. The reason I know this is because I asked all my friends this very question after I started toying around with the BODY HEAT. And while I admit that my sampling is not of the scientific variety, I’m still willing to wager that this is accurate.

To be fair, BODY HEAT does everything it says it will and it does it very well. Like I mentioned above I love the ribbed silicone shaft. But I think I have to quibble with calling the BODY HEAT a vibrator. It doesn’t really vibrate; there’s a rotating motion in the upper 1/3 of the shaft. And like I already mentioned, the heating element only warms the lower 1/3 of the shaft. The flattened arrowhead shaped head of the BODY HEAT neither vibrates or warms. I found that a bit curious, but there you have it.

The detachable rabbit vibe is indeed an actual vibe. And I really like that I can position it anywhere on the shaft. This works for me because the last thing I want to have happen is to have the bunny ears hit me in the clit when I’m thrusting to stimulate my G-spot. That is not pleasurable; it hurts.

The heating element was nice, I guess. But the silicone sheathe is so buttery soft that it would have conformed to my body temperature anyway, as all good silicone does.

I would gladly exchange the heating function in the BODY HEAT for it to be waterproof. For those of us gals who ejaculate when we stimulate our G-spot, a waterproof insertable or vibe is much preferred. Not only is this vibe is not waterproof; it doesn’t even have a cover for the recharge port. That just invites the early demise of this very expensive toy. If you get the port wet, or worse lube gets inside of it, you’ll be SOL (shit out of luck). Come on guys, you should know that good sex is messy sex, right? It’s like you designed this totally tricked out Hummer of a vibe but forgot the windshield.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Another Milestone, My 200th Show — Podcast #200 — 04/19/10

Hey sex fans,

HOLY COW, it’s another milestone! Today is my 200th podcast! Isn’t that fuckin amazing? I mean, who would have guessed there’d be such staying power. One thing for certain, I could never have accomplished this on my own. I have all the marvelous guests who have joined me over the past two years to thank for this longevity.

With their help, I’ve been able to accomplish my goal of bringing you the best in education, enrichment and entertainment programing. When I began these podcasts I promised that we’d focus on human sexuality, particularly as it intersects with art, religion, the popular culture, relationships, our health and wellbeing, the local social scene, entertainment and politics.

I promised that I’d respond to your questions. This I do with my traditional Q&A sessions; like today’s podcast.

I promised that we’d chat with interesting and controversial guests — authors, artists, sex workers, pundits and porn stars. I promised that we’d investigate the sexual underground and meet fascinating people on the cutting edge. And so I launched three different podcast series — The Erotic Mind series, the Sex EDGE-U-cation series and the SEX WISDOM series.

I promised that I’d review adult products and talk with those who work in the novelty industry; as well as offer tips on staying healthy and growing your relationships too. And I’ve tried to do so with a sense of humor.

Apparently, it’s working, because your response has been overwhelming. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It’s so good to know that you believe as I do that SEX is GOOD and GOOD SEX is even BETTER.

So like I said, today is another Q&A session. I hope to also throw in a few other surprises too. So hang on to your hats, sex fans; it’s gonna be a fun ride.

  • Jerry has a fixation with prostate stimulation and satisfies it in a very odd way.
  • Tom is worried about his curvy cock.
  • Megan is a new mother. Where’s her libido gone?
  • Shemika needs a tongue-lashing…down there.
  • Nick, the American, and Martin, the Brit, have questions about jizz.
  • Glenn tried to have his dick fixed, but his doc botched the job.
  • Jonny is trying to grow his johnson.

Finally, in honor of the auspicious nature of this my 200th podcast, I would like to introduce a new segment called SEX SCIENCE.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: SO HARD for Men.



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