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Bottoms UP!

Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: San Francisco
Dr. Dick- Wow, may I say this is a fantastic site. It is good to see sex as an open topic and that its not only an allowable activity, it is a good activity to take part in. I’m 23, gay, and living in beautiful San Francisco (the perfect place for a 23 year old gay boy to be!), and your tutorials have taken my blowjob and power bottoming skills from that was good to wow lets do that again!

If I may make one suggestion: in the Liberating the Big Old Bottom Within guide, I personally recommend that anyone who wants to bottom get to know the fiber aisle at the grocery/drug store. I find that it helps to keep things squeaky clean longer.

But the question I had was about orgasms while bottoming. Is there any technique that you know of that would help me reach orgasm while bottoming without having to touch myself. I almost reached that point last night while experimenting with some new moves in the sac … but I was wondering if there were any, er, exercises I could do on my own to reach there with my partners (playing safely of course).

Yes, you may say this is a fantastic site. You can say that over and over if you like. All kidding aside, thank you for your very kind words.

grab assAnd I’m hoping you are enjoying the site’s new look. While our logo remains the same, I recently reconfigured the pages. Of particular note, is the Podcast Archive drop-down menu. Now you can go directly to each of my four podcast series: The Erotic Mind, SEX WISDOM, Sex EDGE-U-cation, Play With It shows. The Q&A shows are lumped under the general heading, Podcast.

As before, the toy reviews tab takes you to adult product review site. The Video Library tab takes you to Dr Dick How To Video Library, just as it always has. And the About Dr Dick page is also a drop-down menu, which contains the contact page, the Got A Sex Question page, the Therapy Available page and The Buzz page.

Sadly, I had to deactivate the Lick-A-Dee-Split sex advice podcast VOICEMAIL HOTLINE. It was underused and it was very expensive.

You will also notice that the site’s sidebar has been cleaned up considerably. The clutter is gone and I think it looks really nice as is. So ya’ll, go take a look and see what you think. Send me your comments after you’ve had an opportunity to look around.

Ya know, Chris, I was just about your age when I moved to the Bay Area. I finished my undergraduate degree in the spring of 1972 in Washington, DC. Later that year I moved to Oakland to begin my graduate work in Berkeley. I remember thinking to myself back then, OMG, I’ve fallen into a pot of jam. Leaving a very conservative school in the nation’s capitol, I found myself, almost immediately, on the other end of the political spectrum on the other side of the country. The world began to open for me. Berkeley was magical and my life changed immediately for the better.

In 1978, at the age of 28, I moved to San Francisco to begin work on my doctorate. It was like a dream come true. While I was living in Oakland, I would cross the bay bridge several times a week just to soak up San Francisco’s uniqueness. I used to think as I crossed the bridge and approached the city. My god, what a beautiful site! While I thought Oakland was great, I was happy not to have to commute any longer. To finally reside in the city I loved so much felt like I had died and gone to heaven.pegging147

The 70’s and early 80’s were the halcyon days of my youth. Oh to be young and gay and to live in San Francisco at that time. I wouldn’t exchange that experience for all the tea in china. I decided way back then that I would open myself to as many life-expanding experiences as presented themselves. For the most part, I was served very well by this philosophy. Of course, there were plenty of unsavory experiences that I would never want to relive, but even they were full to the brim with helpful information about me, my sexuality, my growing eroticism, as well as and the rest of the world around me. As I look back I have no regrets and lots of very happy memories.

I thought I would reside in the jewel by the bay for as long as I lived. I had surely found home. But as fate would have it, that didn’t happen. I left San Francisco for Seattle in 1999, after nearly 30 years in that amazing place. Now I look back fondly on that transformative time. The life lessons I leaned there continue to serve me well even now. I am immeasurably richer for the time I lived and loved there.

Boy, that got me way off message, huh? Sorry about that. It’s just that your email got me to reminiscing about being young and gay and living in San Francisco.

OK, on to your concerns. First, let me ask you to add your thoughts on the importance of fiber intake for the aspiring BOB (Big Old Bottom) in the comments section of that very posting. Would you do that for me? As much as I appreciate you offering your pearls of wisdom to me, I think all of our audience would benefit. Don’t you agree? The beauty part of a site like this is the cumulative knowledge and insight of all who visit there. I can’t do this all on my own, don’t cha know!  And remember, butt fuckin’ ain’t just for the gays anymore.  Straight men are discovering the joys of their prostate too.

I have a lot to say to your question about prostate orgasms while bottoming. And I would like to begin by saying that, while prostate orgasms are possible for some of us, not all of us will ever experience one. I’m not sure one can actually train himself to have one of these illusive orgasms at will. But what I can say for sure is, that this will never happen unless one is fully prostate aware.

daddy's boysHow does a fella become fully prostate aware, you might ask. Good question. I suppose that would start with an intimate familiarity with your anatomy. Do you know how you are put together “down there?” You sound like a clever lad, so maybe you are. If you’re not, my site has lots of important information. Look for Male Reproductive System in the CATEGORY section of the sidebar.  It falls under the main category — Sex Therapy.

Knowing and loving your prostate is the next step in this process. Prostate massage is where you will begin. You can do this with your fingers, a dildo, or a specialized “tool” like one of the prostate massagers that you can find at drdicksextoyreviews.com. Use the CATEGORY drop-down menu in the sidebar that site. Look for Prostate Massage, and presto!

There’s one final thing you’ll need to master and that is Kegel exercises. If you are unfamiliar with these and/or why you need to practice these exercises, you can read and/or listen to all the posting — written and podcast, I’ve made about this very important regimen. Just look for Kegels in the CATEGORY drop-down menu in the sidebar of drdicksexadvice.com. You will find this subcategory under the main category — Sex Therapy.

I’d be very interested in hearing from you again. I’d like to know how you are cuming along in your quest for the illusive hands-free orgasm. And don’t forget to use the comments section on any of the postings. I want you to share your insights with all of us.

Good luck

Too pooped to pop

Name: Djon
Gender: Male
Age: 54
Location:
I’m a 54-year-old man, who 3 years ago managed to finally come out and live the life I so desperately longed for all my life. My question — is there a biological clock in men like the issues women have to deal with in menopause. During the last years of my marriage there was no sex life other than with myself. Now I’m living a fantastic life, with a great man who I love very much. I know there is more to life than sex but now that I’m finally able to express myself physically with a man my ability to perform is just not working.

I’ve tried Viagra and such years ago. They used to work in maintaining an erection, it was just by myself, but I always had fun. The headache’s and discomforts from the meds bring up the question — do I really want to take this?

But now the med’s don’t even help, and as for my libido it suffers with my lack of ability. I’ve been tested for testosterone levels and they say I’m right where I should be at for my age. I’ve seen two doctors about the issue and when they find out my partner’s sex they don’t want to deal with it and seem to just pass it off as an age thing.

I’m in fairly decent good shape, I exercise 3 – 4 days a week at the gym, can you send me any advice on a path to take.

A little frustrated: Djon

A little frustrated? Holy cow, darlin’, you sound a lot frustrated. I don’t blame ya. You finally find what’s been missing throughout your whole life only to discover that your plumbing is now givin’ out on you. Ain’t that a bitch! And before I continue I want to tell you and all the other alternative lifestyle people in my audience, don’t settle for a sex-negative physician no matter what. Dion, find yourself a sex-positive doctor that will look beyond your choice of partner and give you the respect you deserve! Damn, I hate shit like that.

andropause2258You raise an interesting question about the aging process when you ask if men experience something similar to menopause in women. The short answer is — yeah, you betcha! In fact, it even has a name; andropause.  I’ve written and spoken extensively about this very subject. Here’s what I want you to do. Look for the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar, look for the category — AGING. There you will find everything I’ve written and said about Andropause, and Sex and Aging.

You’ll find a whole lot more information there than I can put together for you in this posting. However, I can offer you an overview. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has started to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels have on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages. This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

And listen, when a physician says that your testosterone level falls within an acceptable range, he/she isn’t telling you much. Let’s just say you had an elevated level of testosterone all your life, till now. Let’s say that you now register on the lower end of “acceptable”. That would mean that you’ve had a significant loss in testosterone. But your doctor wouldn’t know that, because he has no baseline for your normal testosterone level to begin with.andropause

There is no doubt that a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

Andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Just know that most medical professionals, like yours, Dion, resist testosterone therapy. Some mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer. Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. I encourage you to be fully informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, your new sex positive doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

Finally, getting the lead back in your pencil, so to speak, may simply be an issue of taking more time with arousal play. Don’t expect to go from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds like you once did. Also, use a cockring.  But most of all, fuckin’ relax, why don’t cha already. Your anxiety is short-circuiting your wood, my friend. And only you can stop that.

Good luck

What’ll I do?

Name: Kit
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Location: Minnesota
Dear Doctor Dick, I have a problem every time I have sex its great until its time to get to the end. To find my completion I always feel like I have to pee I feel the whole belly in knots thing I love having sex and but I don’t enjoy the feeling that I am going to pee on the guy I’m sleeping with any advice?

Ahhh Kit darling, when you say; “sex its great until its time to get to the end” are you talkin’ about an orgasm? I think so, right? Lots of women feel like they have to pee when they cum. In fact, lots of women actually do pee as they cum.

If I had to guess, I’d say you are experiencing what we in the business call — stress incontinence, while you are in the throws of your lovemaking.orgasm236

Stress incontinence can happen just about any time. Anxiety, stress, working out, jogging, and fucking can all trigger this type of incontinence. Curiously enough, research shows that younger women actually have more stress incontinence during sex than do older women. While only 3% of women over age 65 reported incontinence during sexual activity, 29% of women under age 60 did.

Regardless of the cause of the stress incontinence — nervousness, exercise or sex there is one common denominator. It’s always related to the strength of a woman’s pelvic floor muscles. The weaker those muscles are, the more likely a woman will leak pee during physical exercise, fucking, sneezing or even laughing.

While many women experience stress incontinence from time to time, there’s a relatively simple solution to the problem. Your pelvic muscles and the tissues surrounding them get stretched out and damaged with time. Pregnancies will also do a number on these muscles. They will also weaken with age. And if you are overweight, well that will weaken pelvic floor muscles too as well as add to the likelihood of stress incontinence.

So you might be asking right about now, what IS this simple solution? Why, it’s Kegel exercises, of course. I have written so much about these exercises and how they apply to both women and men that I practically know my spiel by heart.

If you’ve not heard of Kegel exercises; you need to wake up and smell the coffee, darlin’! They are muscle contraction and relaxation exercises designed help restore tone to the muscles that surround the opening of your urethra, your vagina and your asshole. At the bottom of the pelvis there are several muscle layers, which stretch between your legs. They attach to the pelvic bones at the front, back and sides. Keep these muscles in tip-top condition and you will virtually eliminate stress incontinence.

These exercises will also help you:
• Increase awareness of sensations in your genital and anal area.
• Increase blood circulation in your genital and anal area.
• Aid in restoring vaginal as well as anal muscle tone.
• Increase the intensity of your orgasms.

Let’s try this for starters. Imagine that you’re trying to stop yourself from farting or trying to hold your pee. Notice the feeling of squeezing and lifting — it’s a sensation of your pelvic muscles tightening and drawing up. Try it now, while you are listening to this. That’s the beauty part of kegels; you can do them anywhere, anytime. If you’re finding it difficult to isolate the muscle group, insert a finger into your vagina before doing a Kegel. If you feel pressure around your finger while you are tensing your PC muscle (that short for pubococcygeus muscle), then you’re on the right track.

However, if you’re tightening your abs, squeezing your legs together, clenching your butt, or holding your breath then you’re not exercising the right muscle group. The object here is to isolate your pelvic floor muscles, because those are the ones you wanna be working.

I want everyone, not just you wooly, to work on both muscle strength and tone. Start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Hold then Relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of these two types of Kegels twice a day for a week is your goal.

Let’s go over that one more time. Start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Hold then Relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of these two types of Kegels twice a day for a week is your goal.

When you’ve accomplished this you’re ready to increase the set to eight or ten prolonged squeezes and 20 rapid contractions in a set twice a day for a week. The advanced kegeler is able to vary the type and duration of his/her PC squeezing; slow prolonged clenches to quick flutters.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Jizz City

Hey sex fans!

Look, it’s another edition of Product Review Friday comin’ your way. This week we welcome a new product line from one of the hardest working personalities in porn. Jeff, the brains and brawn behind that industry phenomenon, STR8cam, sent us three of his signature lubes. Today we post our first of three reviews.

We turn to Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad, to see what’s goin’ on.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid (8 oz) —— $15.00

Brad
Those of you who follow my reviews know that I’m a personal trainer. About a year ago one of my new clients, a gay dude, says to me, “You look so familiar. I said, “Really?” He says, “Yeah, but I just can’t think of where I may have seen you before.” I think nothing more of it till a few weeks later he says, “I know why you look so familiar.” “You do?” He says, you are the spittin’ image of this guy on the internet who jerks off all the time on camera.” I’m like, “Get otta here!” He says, “No really, you should check it out. The site is called STR8cam and the guy’s name is Jeff.”

I’m thinkin’ ok, this new client of mine doesn’t know I’m straight and he’s comin’ on to me with this stuff. I mean, I don’t care if my clients get the hots for me. I’m flattered. I also use that sexual tension to my benefit. I can always get my gay clients to work harder for me if I flirt with them. Which is not hard to do, because they’re all nice guys. It’s harmless, of course and I know they’re never offended, so it works for everyone.

But I got to tell you my interest in this Jeff guy was too much for me to resist. I had to see for myself if he and I looked anything alike. I went home one afternoon, googled the site and discovered we could be brothers. DAMN! You gotta give this guy credit, because he’s been pullin’ his pud on camera for years. And I’m sure he has this huge gay following. You GO, Jeff.spunklube

Fast-forward to last month when Dr Dick whips out this bottle of SPUNK Lube Hybrid, and asks me if I’d like to give it a spin. I said, “Sure, why the fuck not?” Then he tells me that this stuff come from this guy he knows in the porn industry, named Jeff, who runs this site called STR8cam. What do you know; now there’s two degrees of separation between me and my online look-alike. So I ask the good doctor, “Hey, do you think this Jeff guy and I look alike? The reason I ask is, one of my clients turned me on to his site about a year ago, because he said I looked like him.” Dr Dick said, “Come to think of it, I guess there is a resemblance.” If that don’t beat all!

So here’s to you, Jeff, my bro from a different mother.

SPUNK Lube Hybrid is my new favorite lube. I mean, it stands to reason that someone who beats his meat for a living would know his way around lube, but this stuff is better than good. The first thing you need to know is it looks and feels just like a guy’s nut. A few drops of SPUNK Lube has the same consistency and viscosity of my own load. I tell ya, if you warm SPUNK Lube a bit, like in a bowl of warm water, I defy you to tell the difference between your jizz and SPUNK Lube, it’s that realistic.

About the only difference between SPUNK Lube and my own cum is SPUNK Lube lasts a whole lot longer. It never dries out or gets sticky. And for all you guys out there (ladies too, I suppose) who get off on playing with your own baby batter, well you’ll have a ball, no pun intended, with SPUNK Lube. It is tasteless and odorless too.

I notice from the SPUNK Lube site that they offer three different types of lube. This is the hybrid variety, which is a mixture of both water-based and silicone-based lube.

I tried SPUNK Lube first by myself. It’s the perfect jerk-off lube. I must be one of those guys who fetishize their nut, because I slathered on the SPUNK Lube just so I could see it drip down my dick. Of course, I didn’t stop there. Before I knew it, I was pumpin’ this shit on my chest and belly. Ok, so I can get a little freaky when I’m alone. So sue me!

I introduced my GF to SPUNK Lube the first opportunity I had. She’s very particular about personal lubricants because her skin is so sensitive to the chemicals and additives in a lot of lesser quality lubes. She loved it, no irritation at all.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Sit and Stay…Longer

Podcasting will resume next week Monday with a swell Q&A Show. Today, however, I want to pay tribute to my long-time companion, Ginger The Dog, who died last Friday, one month shy of her 14th birthday. She was so much a part of my life that she often appeared in my posting and provided sound effects in numerous podcasts. Here’s one such posting, re-posted from January 2005. This particular column remains one of my most popular postings ever.

 

 

Anyone the least bit familiar with Dr Dick’s wacky household will know all about Ginger. For the uninitiated, Ginger is a 5 year old German Shorthair Pointer, who believes she’s the center of the universe and who daily runs the good doctor into the ground.24604.jpg Ginger is special. She’s no one’s pet — least of all mine.

She doesn’t even think of herself as a dog — except when she forgets herself and takes off after a squirrel or a rabbit. And she makes a point of reminding me, several times a day, that she doesn’t “belong” to me. Rather, it is I who have the great privilege to share a domicile with her. I tell you all of this by way of introducing today’s topic. No, it’s not bestiality, ferchrisake! It’s behavior modification and sexual response. Ya know — learning how to last longer.

Here we’ll discuss the remedy for that pesky premature ejaculation problem everyone is talking about. Ginger was a year and a half old when she moved in and took over the joint. She had been abandoned and was, for all intents and purposes, completely feral when she arrived. Once here, Dr Dick tried to imprint a more civilized behavior pattern on his new housemate using several tried and true dog-training methods. Which, for all intents and purposes, are simply behavior modification techniques for doggies.

Successful behavior modification is dependent on the consistency of the stimulus. Consistent stimuli — a command and a treat — are supposed to create the desired response —sitting and staying. Sadly, this approach wasn’t overly successful for Ginger and me. In fact, about the only one who got trained/modified was Dr Dick. Ginger remains blissfully resistant to all efforts to civilize her.

The following correspondents, we hope, will succeed in modifying their sexual response with greater ease than my attempts to train Ginger The Dog. What differentiates them from the dog is that each of my correspondents has the motivation to change. Ginger, on the other hand, has no such motivation. She thinks she’s perfect just the way she is.

Hey Doc,I have a major problem that I hope I could get some advice from you. It’s about my sexual issue. Whenever I’m having sex, I can’t control my nerves. It means I can’t relax. And I come too fast and rapidly. I can’t have foreplay or enjoy sex. Do you know any medications or anything that would help me to prevent this? I guess my problem is what people called “premature ejaculation”. I can ejaculate rapidly, at first I thought it was really good. But later I figured out that wasn’t good. And that it’s a sickness. Please help me. Hope to hear from you soon.Thanks Dylan

Hey Dylan,Your premature ejaculation concern is not a sickness. In fact, it’s a very common complaint. Learning to last longer is a relatively easy thing to accomplish if that’s really what you want. Motivation is key.Let’s start with how you jack-off. If I had to guess these little sessions are speedy affairs, right? Quick jack-off sessions, just to relieve sexual tension can be a good thing, but they are also modifying your sexual response and interfering with your partnered pleasure.

Premature_Ejaculation_ManIf your body is being sensitized to cuming quickly, like while jerkin’-off, then that’s how it will respond later, when you are at play with a partner.I suggest that you take a different approach to your self-pleasuring activity. Some, if not all, of your masturbation should be dedicated to full body masturbation. That is, while you’re diddlin’ yourself with the one hand, your other hand is busy exploring the rest of your body. The object is to play with the sex tension and move it around. Some people call this edge play or edging.

The object here is to avoid an ejaculation. Move the sexual energy all over your body, touch and pleasure your whole body while stroking you cock. A nice massage lotion will add to the enjoyment. Make this time last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking your dick and continue to play with another part of your body, your tits, ass hole, prostate, feet, etc. When the urge to cum subsides, you can start to stroke your dick again. Practice this method over and over until you can last 30 minutes.

Successful behavior modification is dependent on the consistency of the stimulus.5431362.jpg Consistent stimuli — full body masturbation — will create the desired response — lasting longer.You are teaching your body a new way to respond to sexual stimulation. This will no doubt also increase your stamina when you’re with a partner. When you’re having sex with a partner do the same thing as when you are masturbating. Encourage your partner to spread the sexual energy around. Discourage her/him from concentrating on your dick. Work at stalling your orgasm. If you’re getting close to cuming, have him/her turn his/her attention to another pleasurable activity.

Don’t get frustrated if you can’tt regain control over your sexual response right away. This is gonna take some practice, but I think it’s worth the effort. Once you mastered this technique, there are other more advanced methods that I can tell you about later.Good luck.

Hi Richard,

My question is in two parts. 1. How can I orgasm more quickly? 2. How can I orgasm easily when someone else is doing the stimulation?I know this question might sounds strange because many guys are trying to not cum too quickly.Here’s some background; over the years, I have gotten very in-touch with my physical sexual side. I have learned control the build up to orgasm and my orgasm. Having this control is amazing for the most part — it allows long periods of edge play, which I really enjoy.

However, the disadvantage is that I can’t easily orgasm quickly and usually can’t orgasm at all when someone else is doing the stimulation. These two limitations haven’t been a big concern until recently. My orgasm isn’t necessarily the most important part of sex for me. Unfortunately, many times my limitations are disappointing to a sex partner. He wants to see me cum and/or wants to make me cum. Both of these desires are totally understandable — I really enjoy doing the same for him.Is it possible for me to “learn” to cum more quickly and is it possible to “learn” how to cum from the stimulation of someone other than myself? Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Jim

Hey Jim,

What an interesting predicament you present. As you suggest, I’m forever hearing from guys who have the opposite problem as you. They what to prolong their sex play before 180402.jpgcoming. Your message to me proves my point to them; our sexual response is altered, for good or for worse, by how we stimulate ourselves.Curious enough, the answer to your query resides in the detail you present about your particular sexual practices. Clearly, you have conditioned your body, and thus your sexual response cycle, to last a very long time, perhaps too long. I guess that’s the downside of long periods of edge play.

How does one remedy this? Gosh, you’ve conditioned yourself so successfully; there may be little you can do to reverse this.

Orgasms, as you know, are not things we can will to happen or not to happen. However, you could try to find a stroke or a type of stimulation that you could use to successfully bring yourself to climax. Concentrate on that stroke with the intention of getting yourself off ASAP. You would then have to show your partner(s) this technique if you wanted them to get you off. Just a thought, does ass play and prostate massage speed up your orgasm? It does for lots of other men. So if you’re not already doing so, perhaps you could incorporate some…or more of this.

What you’re gonna want to do here is reverse some of the conditioning you’ve done and relearn a new sexual practice or response. It can be done. Will it take determination? You betcha!

Good luck

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