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This is gonna hurt!

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Name: Annie
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location: Miami
Dr. Dick, My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about a year now. He is the first uncircumcised male I have been with. I’ve noticed that lately, it feels like he’s tearing my vaginal opening. He pulls his foreskin forward to lessen the pain, but it still hurts. While examining his penis looking for an answer, I noticed he has a very common condition in uncircumcised males called ‘pearly penile papules’. The papules are rough to the touch in comparison the rest of the phallus. Could this be the cause of my sex woes? Thanks so much!

I’m having a difficult time putting two and two together here, my dear. The painful fucking you describe; this is a new phenomenon, right? You say that even when he pulls his foreskin over his dickhead, you still experience pain when he enters you, is that correct?

See, that’s where I’m having a problem understanding what’s going on. If his foreskin is covering his dickhead, and thus the papules, how could they continue to be an irritant? Surely, you can’t feel the papules through his foreskin, can you? If you can, maybe we’re not dealing with pearly papules.

lovers0147Listen, I know a lot of men who have developed pearly penile papules. Some of these men have mistaken them for genital warts or sign of another STD/SDI, but they are not.

All men are susceptible to these buggers. But interestingly enough, they are more common in younger uncut black guys. They are small, hard, white, pinhead sized bumps that appear on a dude’s dickhead. They are neither painful, nor are they a sign of disease. And they are not contracted or spread through sexual activity.

If a guy has them, he should LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE. Don’t try to squeeze or pop them. If you break the skin doing this, you will leave yourself vulnerable to other more serious infections. Pearly penile papules are harmless and are simply part of maturing. Thy often disappear on their own later in life.

Allow me to repeat myself. Since this is such a common thing in younger men, I can’t see how this is the cause of your discomfort during sex. Either your man has something other than pearly penile papules, or your discomfort comes from another source.

Let me ask you this. When you masturbate, do you insert anything in your pussy? If you don’t maybe that’s a good place to begin to get to the bottom of this mystery. If you can insert a couple of fingers or a dildo into your vagina without discomfort, then we’ll have more information to work with.

If, however, you experience pain in your solo play, then you have something goin on in your pussy that needs immediate attention. You could have an infection or vaginismus.painful-intercoursejr

Do you know what that is? Vaginismus is caused by the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles, especially the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group. This will cause discomfort, burning, and painful penetration. That sure sounds like what’s goin on with you, right?

Not to worry, vaginismus is easily treatable. Treatments include a combination of kegel exercises and insertion or dilation training. Why not get back to me with your thoughts on this.

Good luck

Reverend Muther!

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to the latest edition of Product Review Friday.

Today we have our second of three reviews featuring the eye-popping pleasure instruments from Fucking Sculptures. This Berkeley California boutique glass studio is crafting such unique and amazing art (insertables) that we’re beside ourselves with joy.

But wait! You didn’t miss our first Fucking Sculptures review, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find it and all our reviews on DrDickSexToyReviews.com. Use the search function in the header, type in “Corkscrew” and VOILÀ!

—— Breaking News! We’ve just been alerted to the fact that Fucking Sculptures has just been awarded a place in this year’s Seattle Erotic Art Festival. ——

Today Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa is here with her thoughts.

Hooded Nun —— $120

Christa
This review is pretty reminiscent of how I got started in this gig.

I was recruited to the Dr Dick Review Crew back in October 2008 and posted my first review then following month. Back then Dr Dick had three beautiful silicone insertables that he needed reviewed and none of the other Review Crew members would touch them. Our mutual friend, Joy, suggested I step up. I couldn’t get over it. I wrote back then: “…you’re just gonna fork over three totally bitchin’, top of the line, high-grade silicone toys, like for free. And the fact that these babies skewer the whole religion thing makes ‘em even hotter.”

Ever since then I’ve been the go-to gal for all the freaky stuff that comes to us for review. Enter today’s product. Here we have the stunning Hooded Nun, a glass insertable from Fucking Sculptures. Can ya stand it? And I got it because it has the word “nun” in the name. SCORE!

hooded-nun

This thing is so fuckin’ rad. Mine is black; so black it has a metallic, silver sheen to it. But it also comes in four other colors and two other sizes. So you pretty much get to customize your nun to suit yourself. Mine is the medium size, about 12” long from head to toe, which is plenty big for me. And it’s hefty as shit. Mine weighs in at nearly 2lbs. That’s not a dildo, that’s a fucking weapon!

This is my first glass toy. It looks and feels much different from the glass toys I’m used to seeing in my local sex toy emporium. The Hooded Nun is handcrafted of soda lime glass. And because all their products are handcrafted, no tow are exactly alike. This is nothing short of fucking art.

The Hooded Nun is the ideal G-spot massager. And if you ask my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex, he’ll tell you it’s deadly in his ass and on his prostate. Alex is like this total ass whore. I’m the first girlfriend he ever let finger his hole and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time! I created a monster. But now I get to lay into him with Reverend Muther ova here and he couldn’t be happier.

The Hooded Nun is banana shaped; smooth on it’s dorsal side and ribbed on its belly. Its tail is a stylized pussy-shaped handle that makes maneuvering this big thing into place effortless. It’s also fantastic for doing my kegel exercises. I like to think of it as a barbell for my PC muscles.

You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.

And if that weren’t enough, you can chill and warm glass for superior sensation play.

Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning couldn’t be easier. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, since Alex and I are sharing the Hooded Nun, we sanitize it after each use by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too.

The Hooded Nun came wrapped in a hemmed piece of reclaimed fabric with a ribbon sewn on to it. Inside the wrap there was also a card with care and use instructions. It’s a beautiful presentation and would make a stunning gift.
Read Full Review HERE!.

Enjoy

What’s She Been Doin’ With That Thang?

Name: Jasper
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: NC
My partner and I had not had sex for 5 months until yesterday. I have a large penis and normally have to be very gentle after we have gone awhile without sex. Yesterday she was very loose and had no problem with my insertion. Is this a good sign that she has been having sex with someone else over the last 5 months??

Jasper, Jasper, Jasper! Do you honestly think that the only way a woman can exercise and stretch her pussy is with a cock? Darlin’, what you don’t know about woman and sex is a lot!

Sexual-frustrationSo I gotta ask, why aren’t you humpin’ your partner with slightly more regularity than every 5 months? Is it you? Is there something about the way you bone her that makes it ok for her to go without your member for such a long period of time?

Maybe, just maybe, she tired of waiting for you to dole out the fuck. Maybe, she needs a bit more then the miserly amount of nookie you’re willing or able to provide. Maybe she’s takin’ care of business on her own. Maybe, she’s discovered the joys of self-pleasuring. Maybe she’s got a stash of manly-sized dildos that you know noting about, and she puts them to good use on a regular basis. Maybe she’s doin’ this because you’re not takin’ care of business at home, like ya oughta.

Listen bub, in the long 5 months that you’ve gone without partnered sex, did you squeeze off a few? Did you choke the chicken? Did you wrestle with the one-eyed monster? Did you wank your willie? I’ll bet you did. And I’ll bet you did with some regularity. You may have even slipped your baloney pony in someone else’s honey pot. Ya know, when long periods of sexual drought occur in a relationship; partners tend to discover how to fend for themselves. Am I right, or am I right?

So let’s just say that your old lady is out there gettin’ plugged by some unfamiliar johnson, and a big one at that. What of it? You certainly ain’t doin’ your part to keep her parts happy and fulfilled, are you?

Maybe, just maybe, you need to make amends to your long-suffering wife and look to pleasing her more frequently, before you let your imagination run away with you. In other words, find out what she likes and how she likes it; and let her have it just that way.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Artistic Pleasure

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to the latest edition of Product Review Friday.

Have you noticed that we’ve been introducing you to a bunch of swell new manufacturers lately? Well if you haven’t ya’ll need to pay closer attention, don’t cha know. Today we continue that trend. We welcome yet another remarkably innovative company to our review effort. Say hello to Fucking Sculptures. This Berkeley California boutique glass studio is crafting eye-popping pleasure instruments so unique that we can hardly contain ourselves.

You’ll be seeing more products from them in the weeks to come, but today Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie are here with our first review.

Corkscrew —— $120

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Where does the time go? It’s been over six months since out last review. But this isn’t the first time such an extended hiatus has occurred. Probably when you don’t hear from us for a while it’s because we’re out on the road. When life gets crazy, as it seems to do more frequently lately, Joy and I just hop in our RV and hit the road till we soothe our souls. You’ve heard of dykes on bikes, right? Well we’re dykes in a camper.”
Joy: “A glorified camper, mind you! We used to have this battered old pickup with a pop-top. But now we travel in style. We always meet the nicest people on the road. And on several occasions we’ve even introduced some of our sisters to the latest in sex toys. We like to think of ourselves are roving ambassadors of pleasure.”
Dixie: “We travel light, but not stupid. We always bring a toy or six with us, because, despite our destination, we never leave our libidos at home.”

corkscrew-580x290

Joy: “Even though our RV has a lot of the comforts of home, we think it’s wise to bring at least one toy that don’t involve a motor. And this is where the Corkscrew from Fucking Sculptures comes in. It is made of exquisite soda-lime glass. Honestly, I don’t know a lot about the different kinds of glass other than the fact that this hard and sleek material makes for the ideal insertable.”
Dixie: “We are very fond of glass. In fact, the Corkscrew is our fifth such dildo. At the same time, it is unlike all the others. For one thing, all our other glass insertables we have are clear or with colored swirls in them. They are stunning, of course, but the Corkscrew stands out because it is densely colored; so dense that light won’t penetrate it, except at its tail. Ours is this deep forest green. And here’s a very cool thing about all the fucking art from Fucking Sculptures; you get to choose between five colors and three sizes. That means they well like make one just for you, to your specifications. How cool is that?”
Joy: “And, because each and every one of their sculptures is handcrafted, you can be sure that the insertable you choose will be unique. No one else in the world will have one exactly like yours. That’s art! That’s fucking art! And if you treat your sculpture with the respect it deserves, like you would any fine adult toy, this beauty will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is practical as well as stunning. There are no batteries to run down, nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are. And just think of the bonus feature of it being perfect for sensory play. The Corkscrew can be chilled or warmed. Its hardness holds the temperature beautifully. And unless you’ve tried this kind of play, you have no idea the pleasure it can bring.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning are a snap. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share your glass toy, and they should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. We even ran ours through a dishwasher cycle for no fuss, no muss cleanup.”
Dixie: “The Corkscrew we have is about 7” long with an up curled tail. It weighs in at a hefty 11.5 ounces. I think it’s the ideal toy for helping me with my kegel exercises. The entire insertable is a delicious swirl with its head being about 1.5” in diameter. The curled tail makes it easy to position for intense G-spot stimulation.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our male friends that the Corkscrew makes a wonderful ass play toy too. Your P-spot will thank you. And you’ll never have to worry about it disappearing up your poop-chute; its tail will prevent that.”
Dixie: “You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.”
Joy: “Remember, the Corkscrew is art, so there’s no need to hide this beauty when it’s not in use. When we’re home it sits proudly on our mantle piece.”
Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Plug Your Hole In Three Easy Steps

Plug Your Hole In Three Easy Steps — The Butt Plug Tutorial

I want to welcome you to the Wonderful World of Butt Plugs! Not sure what a butt plug is or why you would want one? Or maybe you sure enough know a butt plug when you see one, but you just don’t know how to go about choosing the right one for you. Well, never fear, because Dr Dick is here with another one of his Handy Dandy Sex Toy Advisories.i'm wearing my butt plug

A butt plug is an anal stimulation device that allows you to enjoy sustained anal pleasure (and prostate stimulation for the men folk) without the worry of having your toy fall out, or worse, disappear up you hole.

Let’s look at a typical butt plug to get a feel for how it works. Unlike most dildos and other anal toys, a butt plug is shorter and has a unique shape. The insertable part is often a tapered cone shape, designed for easy insertion and that filled-up feeling while it’s in place.

The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.

Pretty gal-darn clever, huh?

But why would I want a plug in my butt? You might ask. That, my friend, is a question only a novice butt pirate would ask. Unfamiliar with the joys of butt play, are ya? Well, here’s the 411 on anal pleasuring. Your bum is chock full of nerve ending that, when stimulated, induce intense pleasure. And a butt plug can be worn for hours at a time for a sustained dose of devilish delight.

Once you decide to give a plug a try, you’ll have loads of options to choose from. There is a slue of different sizes, shapes colors and textures. They come in several different materials. And some even vibrate. How fun is that?

Let’s look at all these options in turn.

Start with SIZE.
If you’re new to the whole anal thing, I recommend you try something small. You’ll want an insertable length of less then 4” and a diameter of 2.5”. Feeling a bit more daring? Want to increase the insertable length and/or diameter? Knock yourself out, my friend. There are dozens of sizes available.

Next choose a Material.
Got the dimensions you want, but not sure about what kind of material you want plugging your hole? I know that sounds funny, but it may actually matter what you insert where the sun don’t shine! Say, Dr Dick, how do I know what material is best for me? Excellent question! See, you’re becoming a well-informed consumer already. Let me detail some of the finer points for you.

  • Latex

Is the granddaddy of sex toy materials.
PLUSES —
Inexpensive
Soft and flexible
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct rubbery odor

  • Jelly

Advancements in chemistry transformed ordinary latex into an even softer and more pliable jelly material.
PLUSES —
Inexpensive
Super-soft and flexible
Appealing translucent jelly-like appearance
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
Comes in a variety of colors
MINUSES —
Porous, thus less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct chemical odor

  • SiliconeC935

A non-latex product that come in two varieties — firm and soft.
PLUSES —
Durable and long lasting
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize silicone toys by boiling them
They’re bleachable
Dishwasher safe
More realistic feel
Retains body heat
Comes in a variety of colors
No odor
MINUSES —
Slightly more expensive
Use only water-based lubes

  • Stainless Steelaluminum butt plug

It is smooth, hard and a thing of beauty.
PLUSES —
Super-durable and long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Stainless Steel toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Much heftier weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

  • Pyrex Glassglass

Pyrex is a hard dense glass that will not shatter or splinter. It’s smooth, hard and a work of art.
PLUSES —
Super-durable, long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
You can sterilize Pyrex toys by boiling them
Bleachable
Dishwasher safe
Hefty weight
No unpleasant odor
Can be warmed or chilled
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

  • Wood wood

It’s smooth, hard and a work of art.
PLUSES —
Super-durable, long lasting
Nonporous
Easy to maintain
Hypoallergenic
Waterproof
No unpleasant odor
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
MINUSES —
More expensive
Hard and inflexible

  • New Supersoft

Is a new material that’s has the closest feel to real-life skin. It can be both soft and rigid.
PLUSES—
Less expensive
Great texture
MINUSES —
Very porous
Less hygienic
Always use with a condom
Use only water-based lubes.
Difficult to clean
Distinct chemical odorD649

  • Rubber

An old standard!
PLUSES—
Inexpensive
Durable, long lasting
Waterproof
Use with both water-based and silicone-based lubes.
Comes in a vast array of colors (just as long as it’s black)
MINUSES —
Very porous, less hygienic
Difficult to clean
Distinct rubbery odor

Next choose Special Features.
Once you’ve decided on the material you want, you to customize your butt plug with special features like:beautiful
Bendable
Inflatable
Multi speed vibrating
Suction cup

Next choose Texture.
Latex, silicone, glass, wood and rubber butt plugs come in an array of textures. Which one of these buggers will tickles your fancy?
Bulged
Noduled
Nubbed
Ribbed
Smooth
Studded
Swirled
Veined
Velvety

Butt plugs come in loads of delectable colors and even more shades and hues. Looking for something rosy red, or jet black? Something to match your eyes, or your Day-Glo lime undies? You’ll not have any difficulty finding your heart’s desire.

ENJOY!

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